Reminders About Life (Inspired by Taylor & Travis Wedding!)

This is a fun episode reflecting on some random "lessons" from Taylor & Travis's wedding.

Reminders that:
-most of the "rules" you think you need to follow are made-up; do what serves you best!
-everyone will have an opinion, yours is the only one that matters
-set clear expectations & communicate them!
-don't ignore your past self, thank them!

Thank you for listening! Send to your favorite Swiftie! Love you!

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Transcript

Speaker 2 0:40

Hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. I'm so glad you're here. As you can see, today is one of those culturally relevant podcast episodes that I wanted to talk about because Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce just got married. Our absolute favorite pop star and absolute favorite tight end did the deed, and it's really exciting, and everybody's talking about it. And to be honest with you, it totally snuck up on me. I was not really following everything and whatnot, but because people know that I love Taylor Swift and her music, and I'm also a Chiefs fan, so obviously love Ta- Travis Kelce and love their relationship and all that. A lot of people were just asking me about it, "Oh, are you following the, quote-unquote, royal wedding?" Obviously, it's not really a royal wedding, but kind of the equivalent here where we are. So I was not really following it, but when people started asking me about it, I was like, "Okay, everybody's talking about this. What can we learn from this?" And on this podcast, I... Just a heads up, if you tuned into this podcast because you wanna know all the deets or you want me, you wanna hear me talk about the, yeah, the details of their wedding, like her dress or her flowers or any of that stuff, first of all, there aren't any photos out yet, so I can't really talk about those things, and second of all, that's not really the kind of juice that I get into in these episodes. I really like to take everyday things and figure out what we can learn from them, how we can apply them to our lives. So think of this more so as when... if I were sitting down for coffee with you or sitting down for drinks with you, being like, "Oh my God, and she did this, and I really admire that, and I really wanna do this type of thing in my life as well." Or, yeah, just what can we learn from this? So I'm definitely talking more about just some things that I admire about the whole of, the whole ex- in experience or I encounter, I guess, and just some of the things that we can take away from it. So that's the type of podcast episode that this is going to be, and I do love to imagine that I'm sitting down for coffee with you or sitting down in a happy hour with you, and that we're just sitting across from each other gabbing about Taylor and Travis and talking about, "Oh, wow, this is so cool that they did this," and what we can glean from that. So that is the type of episode this is going to be. I'm really excited, and before I dive right in, I do wanna recommend that, and ask, just plead with you, that you send this to your favorite Swiftie, see what they think of it, and see if they have more, I guess, quote-unquote, lessons that they learned from Taylor and Travis, and just how fun this time is for them. So I would love if you send this to somebody who you think would vibe with it. And yeah, without further ado, I will dive in. So the first thing I thought about was when someone was bringing this up w- to me, we were talking about how weddings are just so different in general these days. It's... There's so much more, it seems, like flexibility because people People just own the, their decisions with weddings a lot more these days. I feel like there's less rigidity, less rules. Brides especially, I think, are taking more ownership of their weddings. I think about this because I'm about to celebrate my 10-year wedding anniversary, and I remember when I planned my wedding, which was only 10 years ago, I remember thinking like, "Well, aren't there rules about you're supposed to do this at this time, or you're supposed to do this at this time, or what are the rules for this?" And I felt that at every wedding you have to take off the garter in front of everybody, and s- throw the bouquet, and stuff like that. And really, you don't. The... It's your wedding, right? It's your rules, so you really don't have to do any of those things. That's the one thing I feel like I would've changed about my wedding. Pretty much everything about my wedding I adored, but I was like, "Why did I take the garter off in front of every- Like, that's weird." Or J- you know, Jared, my husband, took it off. I'm just like, "Why do we do stuff like that?" It's so strange to me. So, some traditions just don't make sense for that couple or for that bride or groom, or for their family. And I know a lot of the traditions and I guess, rules that people talk about are because of whoever is paying for it. In the past, that was another rule. A lot of the time, the bride's family paid for the wedding, and then there were small things that the husband's family paid for. And I think that goes all the way back to dowries, and I mean, it's even in the Bible when s- when you have a daughter, you pay for their wedding, like y- when you give them away basically to their family, because that family, the man's family, will be providing for her the rest of her life. And then when you have a son, it's the opposite. So I... It goes very far back, but I really, really like that we've kind of gotten away from that, and it's given me especially the opportunity to experience a lot of different kinds of weddings, because we've been fortunate enough to have a lot of friends get married in the last several years, and everybody does it different. And something that I really like when we were talking about Taylor and Travis's wedding is, first of all, people didn't know, I think people still don't know, if they got married actually before this big event, big party, basically, at Madison Square Garden. People don't know if they did, but it could be that they went and had, like, a private ceremony, and then hosted the party or the reception afterward with however many, I think it's, like, over 1,000 people or something, at Madison Square Garden. And we don't really know if they did that or not, but I have had several friends in the last couple of years choose to do that, like a private, small, intimate ceremony, and then host a bigger reception or party at another venue or at a, on another day even. And I just really like the freedom that comes with that and making your own decision about that and deciding I would rather this be private than have, you know, hundreds or thousands of people's eyes on me whenever I have that intimate experience with my partner Another thing we were talking about that is maybe less traditional that could just work more for brides and grooms, we actually were thinking, oh, did they get... We thought they got married midweek, like Wednesday or Thursday or something. It was actually a Friday, so pretty normal. But we were thinking that they got married midweek and we were like, yeah, it still is kind- it seems strange to get married midweek, but at the same time, who, I mean, who cares? Whatever works the best for the couple is what works best for the couple. So I really, I just really admire and appreciate that they're doing it their own way, and obviously everybody's always gonna have an opinion of you. I actually talked about this whenever I did my Justin Bieber episode, too, because someone's always gonna have an opinion about you. Someone's always going to think that you didn't do it the right way, and other people are gonna be obsessed with the way that you did it. So there's always gonna be people that have opinions about the way that you do things or what you're doing, and everything that goes along with that, what you're wearing, who you're, who you're doing it with, all, all of the things. So there's always gonna be people with opinions, so really the only opinion that matters is the person making the decision or people making the decision. In this case, it's a couple, so obviously they should make the decisions together. But really my point is that everyone's going to have an opinion, so you might as well do what serves you best. And sometimes I also think about this with, like, the rules of weddings and restrictions, I guess, or just expectations that have come with traditions and years and years of people having weddings. Sometimes I think that we can put ourselves in a box, or put the event in a box and not really realize that we can do it however we want. I remember the first wedding I went to where they had donuts instead of cake, and I was like, "That's awesome. I would much rather have a donut than a piece of cake." But it's like, if you want cake, have cake. If you want donuts, have donuts. If you don't want dessert at all, don't have dessert at all. It's up to you. You don't have to be in a box when it comes to your wedding, but that's true for life in general, too. You don't have to be in a box whenever it comes to anything else. I know a lot of people stress about, I'm falling short of this thing that I should be doing." And I talked a little bit about this on last week's episode with titles. Like, oh, I should be this way as a mom. I should be this way as a sister. I should be this way as an employee, or I should be this way as a partner. And you can just let go of those shoulds and move forward in the way that best serves you and the people around you, right? The way that you are an excellent mother is not gonna be the same way that someone else is an excellent mother, or the way that you have a banging wedding is not gonna be the same way that someone else is gonna wanna have their banging wedding, right? So Just a reminder that we don't... There aren't rules. In life, I mean, there's laws. We all have to follow the law unless we wanna go to jail, but in life, there aren't rules. There-- All of these rules are made up in our heads. So ask yourself, "What kinds of rules am, am I imposing on myself that I don't need to be? And what rules could I let go? What could I let go of?" And, and also maybe what rules am I imposing on other people too, like thinking that they should be doing these things and they're not, what rules are going along with that, and do they need to exist? So I really like that. On the flip side of that, another thing that I really liked that I heard that they did was... So I said at the beginning of this, there's no photos still. Obviously, that was a clear expectation. I have heard murmurings or mutterings or... I still... I can't remember what the phrase is, but I have heard that they did have their guests sign NDAs, and I feel like people feel one way or the other way about that, but who cares? Again, everybody's gonna have an opinion about what you do. But I actually think that's awesome because everybody's talking about how we will not see photos or videos or details of the wedding. We will not see those until Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce want us to see them. Probably mostly true, Taylor Swift. But we won't see those things until they want us to see them, and that's because they have very defined, clear expectations. For them, of course, they're celebrities, so that kind of clear, defined expectation has to come through NDAs probably. But we can learn from that in life, right? When you want something to happen a certain way, you can have very defined, clear expectations. Don't expect people to mind-read. If you are in a relationship, especially, I think that this is so applicable to any kind of romantic relationship, but any relationship. But in a romantic relationship or, yeah, with your spouse, I'm thinking of with my partner, my husband, there are times where I really want something to go a certain way, or I really want the plan for the day to be this, and I forget to voice that to him, and then he does something that gets us off plan, and I'm really annoyed, and then I'm like, "Wait, I actually have no right to be annoyed 'cause he couldn't mind-read. He didn't know what the plan was." Whereas when we start the beginning of the day and we're like, "Oh, this is what I-- how I plan for the day to go," or, "This is what I'm expecting the day to look like," we can be on the same page with that. And that's a very small example. Obviously, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's media expo- media exposure and photos getting out of the wedding and whatnot, that's a bigger example. But- You can do that with any relationship with, that you have. I think of when rooming with people, there can be all sorts of roommate tension just because one person is expecting the other person, like, we never wanna have dishes in the sink or something like that. The other person doesn't have that expectation. So if you guys don't have matching expectations and you don't know what each other's expectations are, how can you meet them for each other? And so really communicating clearly what your expectations are will help in any relationship, and I think especially in partner relationship. But I do think that this goes to show that when you have community, you have support, you have family, friends surrounding you, that You should be really conscious and really communicative of what your expectations are. I really admired when... I've talked a lot about how a lot of my friends have had babies in the last few years. I really admired when I would hear them talk about how they were talking to their parents or their grandparents or their, or even siblings or whomever about what they expected as far as their hospital visit went. Obviously, things don't always go as planned, but, like, when it came to visitors, you know, who's allowed at what time, and permission to change your mind at any point, that's totally fine. People... It's okay to change your mind, but it's great to tell people, "This is kind of my expectation for how I want this to go," so that they can honor that boundary, and that they know what the boundary is to begin with. Because if you don't have a boundary set, if you don't have an expectation set, it's impossible to meet. So I really, really admired that, and I think that that's one thing that we can learn from the fact that there are still no photos, which obviously drives us all nuts, but there will be photos on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's terms, right? They are the ones that set the expectations for their guests, and I feel like that's wild that it... they all honored that. It makes sense if the NDA thing is true, but still very, very cool in my opinion that people are honoring that. The last thing that I really adored when I heard this about their wedding is that, well, I guess at some point Travis Kelce had told media that, "Oh, Taylor and I are more live music people," and that they probably wouldn't have a DJ. But, and it was confirmed that both Stevie Nicks and Tim McGraw played at their wedding, which I just think is so cute, and it's a nod to a couple things. So Stevie Nicks, Taylor has openly shared that Stevie Nicks is, like, one of her idols and somebody she looks up to and admires and just a female artist that is amazing. And so rock legend, very cool performance to have, and a reminder to, always have something to strive toward. I think obviously Taylor Swift has gotten to an amazing point, but she always had idols like that, and it's always important to keep people in our life That are giving us a place to move forward in, or just a place to look up to, right? We don't wanna ever be stagnant or stuck or feel like we're not going anywhere in life. And one of the best ways to ensure that that's not the case is having people in life that are one, two, five, 10 steps ahead of us that we can look up to and that kinda help us spur us on. So that was one thing from the music that I felt like was really cool, and then... And that we could learn from. And then the second thing is Tim McGraw, because that was like a nod to her past. And I think that a lot of the time, and I'm sure Taylor Swift feels like this. Well, pfft, I can't say I'm sure because I don't know her. But a lot of the time in our own personal lives, I feel like we look at the past and we kinda cringe, and we kinda think, "Oh, God." Or I'm sure with Taylor Swift, she looks at some of her old music and she's like, "Oh, I was so worked up about this boy, and who cares now?" Like, I remember that time when I was crying in my bedroom and I thought that it was the end of the world or whatever it may be. But now she's marrying the love of her life, and she probably is like, "Wow, I was so silly then." But I think that sometimes we look back on our past and we think, "Oh, that was such a cringey time for me," or we try to... We kind of disassociate from that time, and we kind of think, "That was just not me. That wasn't..." And ignore it. And I, I feel really strongly about this, that it's important to stay in touch and in tune with past versions of ourselves, and not in a way of hoping we could go back there, because obviously a lot of the times we do think those versions of ourselves were not as good as today's version. But just as a reminder that we had to be that version of ourself in order to be the version of ourse- of ourselves we are today. There are a lot of things that we have done that are embarrassing or we've made mistakes, and we've learned from them. And that is what makes us the person that we are today. And the person that we are today is going to make mistakes and embarrass ourselves and learn from those things as well, and Our version of ourself in the future will look back on this version and be like, "Oh my God, I can't believe I did that." It's just a different version of ourself. And as we get through life, we get better and we learn more and we adapt and develop, And I think I just loved so much that she included Tim McGraw, 'cause Tim McGraw was, her first single, I believe, that was on the radio, and just something from her much earlier artistry days. And she, and she had songs with him too, and it was, a nod to her past artistry being in the country music genre. And I just love that. She could not be where she is today, standing across the altar from Travis Kelce, if not for all those past selves that were crying over the wrong boy or that were crying over an embarrassment or crying over a mistake that she made or any of those things that she could easily look back on and be cringed out about and try to just forget. But instead, she kinda gave a nod to her past and was like, "I'm thankful for this past." I mean, I don't know if that's why she did it. She probably is just good friends with Tim McGraw. But to me, it's just a reminder that we can be thankful for that person that we were and also be okay with the fact that we're now a different version of ourselves that learned from that person and that got better from that person. I hope that makes sense. I just love the idea of cherishing our past selves that we're most ashamed of or most embarrassed by and kinda telling them, "I couldn't have got where I am without you." I don't know. That's really sappy. It's kinda making me emotional actually. But I just, I think that's really important. We o- I think too often we want to just ignore, forget, b- blank out those past versions of ourselves that we're not proud of. But really, that, those versions of ourselves are how we got to where we are today. So, I hope you love this episode. I hope that photos come out soon of their wedding. It sounds like it was amazing and gorgeous. I'm sure it was probably so fun that it was a holiday weekend. Hopefully you guys had a good holiday weekend, and I love you. Thank you