Know Happiness
A series about how we seek, find, and sustain happiness in some of the most unusual ways.
Know Happiness
The Truth About Burnout, Trauma & Healing Your Body w/ Jessica Ann | Ep. 22
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In this episode of Know Happiness, I sit down with Jessica Ann for a powerful conversation on what it really means to find and sustain happiness from within.
Jess is a former hospice nurse turned soul-led business owner, healer, and coach. She shares her deeply personal journey from working in hospice care, witnessing death and transformation daily, to navigating burnout, postpartum depression and ultimately stepping into her purpose through energy healing, somatic work and coaching.
This episode is a reminder that happiness isn’t something you chase externally; it’s something you cultivate internally through presence, connection, and self-awareness. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure of your purpose… this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.
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For more information on Jessica Ann –
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaann_co/
Website for 1:1 Services: https://www.jessicaann.co
Jessica's Certification Program: https://www.somaticenergeticsacademy.com
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00:00 - Intro
00:33 - How Jessica Defines Happiness
01:30 - How Being a Hospice Nurse Shaped Jessica
08:55 - What Death Teaches You About Presence & Purpose
11:29 - Hospice Care to a Soul-Led Business Coach
17:56 - What is Somatic Healing?
24:37 - How Jessica Identifies & Handles Burnout
32:27 - "What the f#%k is my purpose?!"
35:39 - A Woman's Need to Find a Passion Outside of Motherhood
41:07 - The Higher-Self Perspective [How Jess Tunes In]
45:55 - Why Mindset Work isn't Permanent Healing
49:47 - What is Intuitive Tapping?
51:36 - "To be happy, stay curious."
53:53 - Why Jess's Boys are Her Purpose [Spiritual Awakening]
58:16 - One Small Way to Feel More Alive
01:00:12 - The Misconception of Happiness
01:00:55 - "Start taking radical responsibility for your life."
01:02:04 - One Embodied Truth of Happiness
01:03:05 - Outro
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ABOUT KNOW HAPPINESS
A series for people seeking alternative therapy, treatments and activities that create long-lasting happiness. Follow along so you can Know Happiness.
#knowhappiness #podcast #burnout #somatichealing #sustainhappiness
Intro
SPEAKER_02Welcome to Know Happiness, a podcast all around how we seek, find, and sustain happiness in some of the most unusual places. Today I'm joined with Jess, a founder of a soul-led business, a healer, and a coach. Welcome, Jess.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Thank you for having me. I'm super excited. Yeah, I'm really excited to get to know you. We're both nurses. We have a lot of stuff in common. Energy healing, all the Christy, all the things. Christy, the common denominator.
SPEAKER_02Well, one thing I ask all my guests when they come in is what does happiness mean to you?
SPEAKER_00Oh, that actually took me a long time to figure out because I was stuck in survival mode for a long time. So I would have little glimpses of happiness, but it was never anything that was sustained. I would say like maybe 5% of my day, I would have happiness. But happiness to me actually is more about the experience of being in the present moment. So you know how everyone just says, being in the present moment, like you'll find happiness. Well, it's actually about how I feel in the present moment and the experience of what I'm having in the present moment and what that is.
How Being a Hospice Nurse Shaped Jessica
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I like that. Like I've said many times on the show that happiness is very fleeting, but it's always an option to be present. Like that is such a choice that we are offered uh minute by minute, day to day, and whether we choose that or not. Yeah. That's another question. Yeah. So since we've never met, this is like uh one of the first times I've actually interviewed somebody that I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Oh, love that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Lucky one. We've had a few, but you know, you go through like all your friends because I have all these great friends in the spiritual community that all have different modalities of healing. And so I'm really excited to get to know you and your story and kind of what led you to where you are today. So I know that you were a nurse, a hospice nurse, or maybe still are, or had that title. So, how did being a hospice nurse really shape who you are and how you go through your day-to-day life?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Hospice completely changed my whole life. It brought me into the spiritual world that I did not even know existed. I grew up Catholic. So my grandma was Catholic, very fear-driven. That's what I thought spirituality was. So I didn't even know what spirituality really even was. On the other spectrum, I actually had my mom, she would do these witches' books, like holistic green witch books, like then she would have like, I wouldn't say black magic, I don't believe in black magic, but you know, just like witch books. And I was just like, oh, I have one spectrum over here of this, and then I have one spectrum over here of this, like complete opposite.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I didn't even know what really religion even meant to me, or that religion was different than spirituality until I got in hospice. And then I actually seen that spirit is just energy, right? We're all energetic beings. Like that, we didn't learn that shit in nursing school. Right. Like at all. And so hospice really opened me up to that you cherish every present moment because you never know when it's gonna be your last and when it's gonna be your end moment. And it just opened, it just completely opened up the spiritual world. I started to listen to my intuition. I started to get downloads randomly, like driving past graveyards. I'd be like, Oh, you're gonna walk into this room, and I'd have visions of the families being in the room, 20 people, and I got a voice saying, Get them out. And I would just used to listen to those nudges, and I used to be like, Am I crazy? Am I crazy? Like, what is happening here? I don't know what any of this is. And so I would get that in the hospice realm, and then it just got stronger and stronger. And then, of course, I found Reiki a couple years after I started my hospice journey, and then I was like, oh, this all makes sense now. This all makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Kind of tying it all together.
SPEAKER_00It kind of tied it all together for me in the energy perspective. Um, yeah, there's just so much there. There's so much there. I could talk all day.
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, a hospice nurse, you're obviously dealing with people at the end of this incarnation, right? And so your role is fundamental to their transition, you know, not just for them, but also for their family members. I can only imagine that Reiki, uh, learning Reiki was like a game changer.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it was completely. There's such a huge gap in our our healthcare system, especially hospice, within the emotional mastery and emotional intelligence and also nervous system regulation with the family members, but with the clients as well and with the patients as well. There's a huge emotional gap. For instance, like, I don't know if you've worked in hospice or, you know, had any of that experience, but when people would pass away or they were passing, they would just be like, okay, I'm here to support you. I'm here to support you. That's all they would say. And I was like, that's validation, that's great, but how are you actually helping this wife that is completely lost and has no idea how she's going to continue to survive because she's been with this man for 50 plus years. She's so lost. And so I actually coached her. It this was a little bit later on, but I actually started to coach her and ask her questions. It was just curiosity. It was just questions around, well, what do you like to do? Well, where did you used to find community? And she's like, Well, I used to find it in the church, but we kind of we don't like God anymore because of this experience that we went through and we were we're mad at God. And I was like, Okay, well, what about the people that was in the community? What about that? How did it make you feel? Can you reach out to them? Are they here to support you when we're not here anymore? She's like, at the end of the conversation, she's like, you know what? I'm gonna reach back out and I'm I'm gonna go back to that community because I think that's my last hope and and my anchoring point.
SPEAKER_02So it sounds like coaching began kind of even before you knew it, too.
SPEAKER_00Like, I didn't even know what coaching was, but I was already doing it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you were becoming this, you know, kind of I don't want to use the word death doula, but in, you know, well, I have a death and rebirth doula certification. There you go. So I guess I'm right on. You know, but I I think it is important because we spend so much time focusing on the client, the patient, you know, client's the new word, right? But what about the family members, those who are, you know, continue on, you know, that there needs to be a lot of support, yeah, support around them. But truly, you know, what's next?
SPEAKER_00And how cool is it that that just like I mean, even after hospice, like the social workers, they'll call you once a month to check in. And I'm like, these are grieving people. Like that is very distraught to a lot of people, and we're just not supporting the medical system, it is just failing in a lot of ways, as you probably are aware of as well. And so I was like, how can I bridge this gap so it can be an easier transition for the husband that is passing away that knows his wife is on the breaking point of being manic? And how can I support them better to where they have more resources? And that's kind of where death doulas come into play is they're actually there throughout the whole long process and the grieving process, and I call it the rebirth process because you are a different person. You have a new identity after somebody passes away, or even with a pregnancy or whatever that may be, even with a new identity of who I was even 10 years ago, like that was a whole rebirthing process, right? And so people need support and actually to help them regulate their nervous systems, to regulate their emotions and to honor that part and that experience. That's really what it is, right? Yeah. When we can view everything through a spiritual lens and a spiritual lesson of why is this happening and what's the energetic blueprint behind what's happening here. And we can look at that, it all clicks and makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, and I love to, nothing excites me more than merging like science and spirituality. Because there's so many people that are like, oh, that's so woo-woo, and you know, because you know the language. Sometimes we do sound a little out there to somebody who knows nothing about spirituality. And so being able to merge those two worlds together so that it does, because we are energy. That is not spiritual thing that is science. Yeah, it's freaking science. Yeah. You know, so I I love when I meet fellow pe fellow women or fellow humans who are just as excited as I am about helping people understand that like the the they exit coexist really.
What Death Teaches You About Presence & Purpose
SPEAKER_00They do. Absolutely. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What did being so close to death teach you about presence and what truly matters?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so presence is something I look at now as like an honoring, especially when somebody's passing. It's more of a honoring ceremony of honoring who they are, and you have to be really present in that moment. Everything, you know, death death makes you wake up. It really does. Or when somebody is approaching death, it's like you drop everything and you do what you need to do to have those final sacred moments with that person in this lifetime, in this I say temple, because you still can connect, right? Like in this body. So it allowed me to honestly learn how to co-regulate with them. Because if I'm not regulated, if I'm not present, they usually weren't either because that's how energy works and picks up, right? If the family wasn't regulated or calm or grounded or felt supported and they were chaotic, guess what? The whole room was chaotic, and that person would not pass away. You know how many times that I have seen family members being chaotic, anxious, distraught, and that person that's passing can feel every single thing in the room because the the senses are the last thing to go. And so they can still feel. So it actually taught me a lot about our nervous systems and how to co-regulate and how to communicate to get people to co-regulate with you in order to calm down the environment so it could be a more peaceful trans transition for the one that was passing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because I would imagine or presume that the veil starts to lift the closer you are into this transition. And I think a lot of people hang on or hold on and often need, you know, permission to let go. And so it is very important that their hospice room is calm.
SPEAKER_00That was always my biggest goal was like, if you're not calm, I have to get you out of here somehow somehow, because they they just wouldn't go. Yeah. I even had patients not the eight, I I remember one patient specifically, he was tracking me with his eyes even and still alert. And I walk out and he passes away. I always say they're gonna go when they want to go, but probably my energy was probably too chaotic for him because I was a burnout nurse that had two babies at home and I wanted to be home with them instead of being on this on-call call, unfortunately, because I was just so burnt out. He could feel my energy. He's like, I don't want that in here. Get out. I'm going to the light. I've seen some of the craziest things happen, but it taught me a lot about energy. Yeah and how energy works.
Hospice Care to a Soul-Led Business Coach
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So we've kind of talked about what led you from hospice care. Uh tell me about your business, you know. So you've gone from hospice care and now you're in this soul-led business. What is it? Tell me all about it.
SPEAKER_00Well, it formulated when I started doing Reiki almost a decade ago. So I was mentally struggling super bad, suicide ideation, depression left and right. I had postpartum depression. I had really bad thoughts of wanting to throw my baby off a bridge, even. Like it was, it was rough. It was rough back then. Um, and then I went and did Reiki. I've always been attuned to holistic modalities. Even at age 17, when I got diagnosed with autoimmune disease, and they were like, oh, you gotta take this pill for the rest of your life. I was like, absolutely not. I'm going the other way. I just knew there was always other routes, right? And so when I got to the point of like, well, what can I do? I have spent over a decade at this point in my nursing career. What can I do with my degree? I just don't, I don't want to throw this all away. What the hell do I do with it? And that's where I kind of found nurse coaching. So I didn't even know that was a thing. I didn't even know what coaching was. I had been going to Christy for almost a decade at this point too. I knew what she did. She was more of a healer, more of whatever. She didn't call herself a coach, though. And so I was like, what is this? Um, and so I took the program, learned coaching skills, learned all the things that I needed to learn. And then that's really when I started to bridge my energy healing business with my coaching business and the somatic piece too. And I was like, okay, I can I can create my own business out of this. Like I can do this. Amazing. Yeah. And so that kind of was just the the caveat. I mean, the real caveat is when I got fired for my hospice job. I had never got fired before ever. Um, I haven't told anyone this story either because it made me very distraught for a very long time. But no, it's okay. It actually was a beautiful spiritual journey too. But I got fired from hospice um because I was talking to a friend who I thought was a friend. You know how the healthcare world is and how the politics work and just the drama and the cattiness. And anyway, hospice is really bad. If you've never worked in hospice, it is so politic driven because of it's they get the most reimbursement. So people are so worried about bringing on so many patients and getting their bonuses and like just the revenue portion. Anyway, done with that rant. But um, I was talking to one of my dear friends about being burnt out and just being completely depleted, working, having two babies, all the things. And I was like, Yeah, I think we're gonna do a GIP contract, which is this is just something you do in hospice, um, at a hospital, and I think I'm gonna take that position to like allow myself to chill and not be on call and have to switch, you know, back and forth from day to night shift with two kids and all the things. Well, she took that to her boss, and then I got around the community, and then I got fired because I leaked information and I was like, I did not have that intention. Like, I was so distraught. But when they fired me, my last check, guess what the numbers were? 222-666. And I was just like, okay, I trust this. This is my it, I would not have left if that wouldn't have happened. I would have just stayed and continued on the cycle. Like, I truly don't think I would have left that position. Um, but when I seen that, I was like, okay, I'm divinely protected, new beginnings, and watch what I say. Because 666 is for my meaning, it's watch what the fuck you say. Like, be more mindful of your communication and who you talk to.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_00And I was just like, okay, received yes, received, we're done. This is good. And so that actually was the caveat, more so I had my business, but it was like, so I really I was working three fucking jobs, breastfeeding my son. I was doing a lot, uh, a lot. And so that was kind of the caveat to be like, no, this is just trust that this is all going to work out. And I always knew that I was meant for more too. Like, I just always knew deep down in my bones, you are meant for so much more. Um, and I have a really big mission too. And so I just kept trusting that. Even I was forced, I had to be forced. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, it is interesting because you know, you could it's very easy to fall into the victim mentality of like, why me? What am I gonna do? The panic sets in. It would have been so easy for you just to hop into getting, you know, the next job and just recreating that same cycle. But it sounds like you didn't that you chose a a different path, a path that you were being called to. So, what's the name of your business?
SPEAKER_00So, I have like three buckets, I tell everyone. So, I have like purpose coaching and like soul-led healing. Like, I love that aspect. And then I also have soul-led business. I love business energetics. I'm really good at defining and looking at what energetic blocks are there. Or I don't even like to say blocks, I just resistance maybe of what's where are business owners disconnected from their business? Because a lot of times that's what happens is there's a disconnection somewhere, somehow. Um, so I have business mentoring and coaching, and then I have my academy. So I have Somatic Energetics Academy where I actually teach. I teach these healing modalities of a wide variety of different healing modalities. Um, and that came to fruitation like three years ago. Um, had no idea what I was doing, but I was getting divine messages from Source, God, universe, whatever that is to you. And he was like, You're gonna have a whole academy. And I was like, What come again? What? That sounds like a lot of work.
SPEAKER_02Um I know that's immediately what I'm thinking, like, oh my gosh, that must have taken you a long time to get all of that together. No, it's not even.
SPEAKER_00And just trust. I didn't, I had, I did not have the program set out like you were supposed to. I did not know what the hell I was doing from month to month. He was just like, trust and start. Get a couple people in and just trust and start. And I did. And it worked out, divinely worked out exactly how it was supposed to. And now it's a whole nine-month program and it is internationally accredited. Actually, I got my letter today that it's internationally accredited and 144 CEs, and that took me, that was a long process, you guys. Okay. Yeah. That took me a while. So 144 CEs for healthcare providers, nurses, practitioners. Congratulations. Any of that stuff. Okay.
SPEAKER_02So when you say somatic, there may be people that are listening that don't know what that is. Can you clarify that? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So somatic healing is just body-based healing. It's actually tapping into the body and the body's senses. So it's becoming present in your nervous system, it's becoming regulated within your body so you can actually feel and experience life, right? So our body is our temple of what how the energy moves through, right? Because we're all composed of energy, but our body is the physical meat. I don't like to say meat suit, but that's what it is. It's a meat suit, right? Um, so the body actually is what stores all the trauma, stuck energy, whatever, limiting beliefs, whatever we want to label it as. So your body is this beautiful communicator between your subconscious and your conscious, and that's really how you heal trauma and how you heal patterns is incorporating the body aspect, which is just a body-based approach to healing.
SPEAKER_02So give me an example. I'm gonna I come to you and I've got some traumas from my childhood around being sexually abused, and I noticed that it's manifesting in my male relationships. How would you coach me or give me like a just a bird's eye view of what maybe you might do for me?
SPEAKER_00First, I would identify: do you have any safety? Do you know what safety is to you? Do you know what safety means to you in your body? Have you ever felt safe? So identifying safety and then probably diving in. I love somatic hypnosis. So I love hypnosis and like inner child gestalt process. So these are just different hypnotic processes to take you into your subconscious, but I do it in a somatic approach way to where the body feels safe to go there and allow the subconscious to come through. I love inner child healing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, but I love to use hypnosis mostly in that realm because it allows you to a lot of the times people don't really remember. And I say you don't have to remember the specific memory. Sometimes people do, right? But then some people don't. But it allows you to experience the memory in a safe approach so that way you can heal the string of pearls. Because usually what happens, let's say that yeah, you have that core trauma from when you were three years old that happened in that sexual way with your uncle or whatever that may be, right? And so after that core trauma sets in or core belief of maybe I feel abandoned, I don't feel safe, I don't feel supported, I don't XYZ, whatever that core belief is that's there. If we can go back and we can heal that core belief, all the other I call it compounding trauma. So after you're three years old, you have a bunch of compounding trauma that stacks on top of that from different experiences that are actually rooted to that core belief that was formed, right? And so I love hypnosis because it actually allows us to go back to usually that core belief and be able to knock out that compounding trauma of all these other experiences in a safe way. Oh, I love that. Yeah. So that's one way. Breath work is another way. I always say it's attuned to the person because what works for you may not work for her, may not work for him. So breath work is actually really good for men because men do a lot of the times don't like to tap in or they find more it more difficult. Because they're more just, you know, they're more in fight or flight, like Matt, you know, tough guy. Uh breath work. Yes, I do. So breath work actually works really well for them, but we can do the same thing. So it's really attuned. And I always ask my clients, I'm like, what have you tried? What are you open to trying? And I always let you be your own healer. I'm really big on that. Like, I'm never gonna tell you what to do, right? It's just guiding you to your own answers of like, does this resonate? Do you want to try this? Do you want to try this? There's a couple different modalities that we can do based on what I'm looking at is your nervous system state of how you're talking and how you're being and how we're working through like the mindset portion of it first. And then that kind of tells me how your nervous system state is and if you're ready to go deeper with these other modalities. That's why I teach, I teach probably, let's see, six different modalities in nine months in the academy. So They have a toolkit to match their client's nervous system and the state that they're in. Because, like I said, what works for you may not work for her.
SPEAKER_02Right. You kind of well, and that's just life. I mean, you know, that why some people are successful in AA and others aren't, you know, like it's just anything is very individual.
SPEAKER_00Very individual. Yeah. And it's always putting the power back in your hands and the healing back in your hands of what feels good for you. What do you want to try to do? You want to try to connect to Archangel Michael. He was my man for a long time. Like he was my protector. And so, like, I actually turned to the spirit realm. So I'm a firm believer of like mind, body, energy, aka spirit. Like, we have different tools in each category to complete whole being healing, to complete that trauma cycle, right? We kind of do have to incorporate all three aspects to have whole being healing and to heal trauma. Yeah. Why do you think therapists, I love therapists, don't get me wrong, but there's a lot of therapists where I've had clients come to me and be re-traumatized for 20 plus years because they only stay in the mind.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And they keep telling the same illusion and the same story over and over again. And one session with me knocks out probably 20 years of healing that they were just getting re traumatized.
SPEAKER_02Right. Well, oftentimes I think of therapy is like pulling out everything out of the kitchen cabinets and it's sitting there and it's like, yeah, what do I do with it? Yeah. You know, it's like, okay, great. I'm aware now that all these things now what do I do with my freaking awareness?
SPEAKER_00Like, now I don't want to be aware because now I don't know what to do with it. Ignorance was bliss. Send me back.
SPEAKER_02Well, I found that with psychedelics were kind of that like 10 years of healing for me, you know, after years and years of therapy. But I was also very drawn to spirituality. And I'd always been a healer in some capacity. I, you know, it was I've been a massage therapist, I was a nurse, I was a peer support. Then I got into Reiki. And I'm like, man, I I bounce around a lot. And then I realized it, they're at least all under the like same unhealing. Healing umbrella. Yeah, yeah. But I I just love that you mentioned, you know, that you're not the one healing someone. You're you're the facilitator. You're giving that someone tools and all these areas where they they personally get to say, this actually fits good and feels good to me. I'm gonna do this. And they actually are the ones we heal ourselves. We heal ourselves.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I'm really big on that. Christy taught me that from the very beginning. Give a little shout out to Christy Marsh. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Burnout is often misunderstood as like mental exhaustion. How do you experience burnout uh as a nervous system, body-based experience?
SPEAKER_00The way I look at burnout now, I look at it as like polyvagal theory, for anyone that doesn't know what polyvagal theory is, is just phenomenal to map your nervous system. So now I look at mental exhaustion, it is actually your body is just tap the fuck out of energy. It has no energy. It's you want to come home and do nothing and lay on the couch, you're depressed, you're hopeless. That's where feelings of hopelessness lie, depression. Um, I call it Planet Z. You're completely disconnected from your body and from this experience from this lifetime. That's what mental exhaustion honestly is to me, is when my body is just depleted from energy. It just wants to do nothing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I would imagine that a lot of people are living in that state of being.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02I mean, if you could even call it that. I mean, like it's existing, you know, barely getting by. What are some things that you do when you start to notice you're heading towards, you know, uh a burnout or you're feeling depleted?
SPEAKER_00I take a break. So I do body checks every two hours. Now my subconscious just knows, like, honestly, every hour I'm checking in with my body needs. And is that a just an asking yourself? It's just like, hey, what is my body what do I need right now? What does my body need? Because if your body needs are not met, the mind needs are separate from the body needs. So mind needs are usually an illusion based off of like an attachment or something that we have, but the body needs are like actual core survival needs. So you're gonna be stuck in survival if you're not meeting your body's needs throughout the day. So I actually check in with my body every two hours. I tell all my clients this set a timer every two hours to go off, check in with your body. What does your body need? Do you need some water? Us nurses, do I need to go to the bathroom? Do we need food eaten in the last 12 hours? Like, what is you know, what does that look like? So, yeah, we do have a lot of burnout people because people aren't checking in with themselves and actually identifying, hey, what the fuck does my body, what does my body need right now?
SPEAKER_02Or oftentimes not checking in and just putting things into our bodies or doing things that are actually very counterproductive.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and checking in with my energy levels too. If I can notice that I am starting to feel just disconnected, I'll go outside, get some sunlight, ground into the the Mother Earth, whatever you want to call her, Gaia. Gaia. Ground into her and just take a little bit of a mental break because our brain can only focus on three things at a time. That's why you have so much ADD, which I don't really okay. I don't really believe in ADD because really it's just a hyper-vigilant nervous system state all the fucking time because you're overstimulated all the fucking time. Right. We have too many tabs open. Your brain can actually only focus on three things at a time. And so if I notice myself getting too like hyped up and like putting a to-do list with a million things on, I'll be like, okay, pause. I'm I'm losing it. Let me take a break. But that started with every two body, every two hour like body checks and energy checks. So like, how's my how do I feel right now? How's my energy? Like, am I feeling low? Am I feeling good? Like, am I neutral? So it's actually identifying how do you even freaking feel right about your day?
SPEAKER_02I've not heard that. I don't do that, and I am absolutely going to start doing that because I have some oftentimes a lot of frenetic. I am a high energy person, so I'm a going a lot. And I think it this is really helpful to me to start doing that check-in. Like, ah, maybe I just need to sit down and relax for a few minutes. I'm gonna give myself permission to do that.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, I love the giving permission, right? It's the giving permission too of like, oh wait, I have a choice here. Hold up, let me, because it's reclaiming power, right? When we're making a choice, even to take a take a moment to pause. And then also identifying like what fuels your energy, what drains your energy, what neutralizes it. So as you're going throughout your day, it's like we're finding different things that we can compromise and balance out. If you're feeling low, well, what can we do right now to give you and fuel you a little bit more? Like for me, it is going outside and sitting with the earth and having the sun shine down on me. Like that does so much for me in like even 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So it's finding these different tools and modalities that that work for you, but it's you first becoming aware of like what is here.
SPEAKER_02Isn't it amazing? Because the we are we live inside and we really honestly don't have to leave our homes if we don't want to. We everything in our phone is capable of getting us food and and yeah, and while that seems super convenient, it's really become a very negative thing for society in our world. And it it always amazes me. Every time I'm outside with my dogs, I make a habit of going outside, taking my dogs out, how quickly my mind shifts. Like it absolutely truly nature is medicine.
SPEAKER_00It is, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I struggle with seasonal depression as well. So I have everything going. I've got my red light lamp going. I started Matsy peptides, like that has helped tremendously. Like I have to constantly, I'm a mental projector. I don't know if you're into human design, but I'm a projector. And so I'm very I have to be very cautious with my energy and and make sure I'm refueling myself appropriately, or my mental health goes to fucking shit. Yeah. Like completely. I think that's true for anyone, actually. If you energetically, if you don't feel good, your mental health is not gonna feel good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, my thoughts are not gonna be good. Yeah, my mom used to say, you don't have anything unless you have your health. And it truly, if you're sick, that's all you're typically focusing on until you can get better. I mean, I think of people with terminal diseases, you know, it's really hard to go focus on their children's activities with a positive attitude when they're in extreme pain and facing death, you know? So I used to get annoyed by it as a kid, like whatever. But it's true.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think that's another thing, too, that even business owners and even women, like your energy is your biggest asset.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
"What the f#%k is my purpose?!"
SPEAKER_00Truly, your energy and how you are being and how you feel is your biggest asset. Because if you feel like shit, if you're irritable, guess how you're gonna be with your kids? Yeah. Guess how you're gonna show up in your business with your employees, even when you tried not to. People can feel your energy no matter what, as soon as you walk in the room or as soon as you hop on the Zoom or whatever that is. So I always say we we can't fake our way to positivity or happiness because people, energy never lies underneath of it. So happiness is truly looking at within internally of like, what does that mean to you? What does that look like for you? How do how do you create your own internal happiness so that way it can overflow too? I think that's one of the biggest things, actually, is that I used to have a lot of external happiness, like the shopping addictions. Like, don't get me wrong, I freaking like nice things. I like nice things, okay? I like nice things. But it was more of like, okay, that gives me like a little dopamine for a second, and then I'm like, well, done with that. Like, where did that go? So it was actually looking at, okay, well, what what is my purpose and what is my passion? So that's something too. When I started my business, Reiki just lit me up so much because it completely shifted my whole life and how I was functioning even as a nurse. And it's like I have the secret fucking sauce for you to have an epic life if everyone would just learn their nervous system. I love that.
SPEAKER_02So, how did anxiety, depression, and chronic overwhelm show up in your body during that season of your life when you were kind of getting this business together?
SPEAKER_00I don't even know, honestly. I was just in fight or flight so much that it was just survival over and over and over again. I take that back. I had my first panic attacks. I take that back. I did have my first panic attacks and I was like, what is this? I was like, what is this? And I started shoving food down my mouth because I was like, I don't know how to heal this. How do I heal this? And that food did help. I think it like helped distracting. Yeah, probably. Yeah, because it was nuts, actually, now that you're saying that. Yeah. I had them in my car and I was like, oh my God, let me just eat these. Um, that makes so much sense now. Um, but yeah, panic attacks. I had never had panic attacks in my life. Um, I was also going through, that was a really heavy time. Uh, I was going through, I knew I was gonna get a divorce too. So I was going through a divorce in the midst of starting my business, having two young kids. Oh my gosh. COVID transition, like it was gnarly there for a couple years. Um but it was mainly yeah, it was mainly those panic attacks, man. I had never had panic attacks and I was like and I was just so depressed too. I would I would fluctuate between being super depressed. I would cry in my son's room. Like, that's where Archangel Michael came in. Like, I honestly would cry to God and be like, what the fuck is my purpose? Like, what is my purpose? Just show me what my purpose is because I cannot continue to live like this every single day. I need a sign, I need something. And that's when I started reading The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein, and where I kind of started a little bit more of that journey and Archangel Michael. I was like, I don't know who this man is or what this is, or if I believe in Archangel, I don't even know what this is, but I'm gonna try it because she said to try it. So I did try it. Um and that's where I found peace. Like at night when I was nursing my son, I seen two little blue lights, and you know, Archangel is known for blue. And I was like, oh, that's weird. Like I thought I was Delulu again. I was thought I was crazy, here we go again. Um, but it was those little moments where I actually found peace and was like, oh, I feel protected, I feel supported in the spiritual realm. So the spiritual realm is actually what helped me tremendously through a lot of what I went through and a lot of anxiety and depression and manic. I was very angry too. Like anger was probably one of the core emotions because that's all I seen growing up as well. Like my dad did not have emotional mastery, what he worked his ass off 24-7. He was in fight or flight all the time. Um, the last time my parents said I love you, I was probably six years old. I know they love me, don't get me wrong. But it's like that Midwest family, like we didn't show emotions at all. So I didn't even know what that looked like. So I was angry all the time too. So that's another way it showed up. I was very angry, very irritable. Um, I was never happy. Everyone would be like, Are you okay? And I just had that flat effect of like, unless I was pissed. Right. And then you know I was pissed.
SPEAKER_02Well, and and being pissed probably made you feel something. Feel better. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, it's interesting because I just think as women, we we are, I'll speak for myself, I suppose. There's this need to find a passion outside of just being a mother. Because, you know, I I love being a mom. It's been the greatest gift I've ever been given. But I also needed something that filled my cup completely, you know, and I hear that with so many, and I just wonder where that comes from with women and and this purpose and this need for something more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I well, I think just how I grew up is that my grandma stayed home and took care of the kids. She, we had a farm, you know, and I was with my grandparents a lot of my childhood because my dad was gone working, and there's a lot there. We're not gonna get into that. There's a lot there. You can come back. Um, but she so obviously I picked up on their beliefs of like, you should stay home, you should take care of the kids, you should get married. Like, I got pregnant, and God forbid, I was so scared to tell my grandma. Like, she's the most understanding, don't get me wrong. Like, she's my number one supporter, but I was still scared to tell my family because I wasn't married. I wasn't married and all the things. But my parents weren't either. And I was like, where the fuck did this, you know? But it was it was just growing up Catholic, going to church with her, seeing what she did of, yeah, you're meant to stay home and take care of the kids and not do anything else, and you're supposed to not even be sexy, like you're supposed to, like my grandma, like she was old school. She wore covered blouses, she wore skirts. That's the only thing she would wear because it Catholic religion, that's the only thing that they wanted you to wear was dresses and skirts and be very modest. And so when I became a mom, I like reverted to that. And now I didn't wear skirts, but I just wore like sweatpants and like I was like, I'm a mom now, I can't show my boobs at all. But it's like those beliefs of when we are younger of what we grew up around, like they're very heavily instilled. And then of course you got women waking up and being like, Who am I? Like you you just had this huge spiritual awakening having a baby because that's the most blissful this now. This is my preference. Yeah, this is what I say. But having a baby is the most blissful experience I have ever witnessed. Having like giving birth and just the baby coming out is like the most blissful experience I have ever witnessed in my life. And so, of course, you want to attune to that and be the best mom that you can be. And so people get lost. I mean, I got lost in that of like, who am I? Even top it off with the spiritual awakening and all the voices in my head and Archangel Michael and all the things. And I'm like, I need to be in a mental hospital. What's going on? But a lot of women do feel like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, I'd say probably every single person that I've had in this room over the course of the last several years has struggled with what what am what am I here to do? Because it I think just as human beings, that's super important.
SPEAKER_00It is. It's why we're here on earth and what's our mission?
SPEAKER_02What have we sent here to do?
SPEAKER_00And that's why connection, I think, is the most important thing, whether you are healing and connection or whatever you're doing in connection, it's always about your connection to yourself of what does light you up? What does bring you joy? Yeah. What are your passions? What makes you curious? What makes you playful? Yeah, what makes you smile? Like what makes your heart open up. Obviously, we're healers, and so I love to serve other people. Like the satisfaction and just the gratitude and just the feeling that I get from helping somebody is the best feeling in the world.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's energizing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's so energizing. And that's another thing too. It's like what light, yeah, what likes you what energizes you? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What gives you energy, not what drains you. What's funny is I'm actually working with my 16-year-old son, who's kind of just in this place where he's like, I, you know, he's a couple years still away from going to college if that's the path he chooses, but he doesn't know what that is. And he doesn't know, you know, he's too afraid to like claim a career or something. And I'm like, start looking at what what energizes you, what excites you when you're doing it, you know, and even if it's something, and I said beyond hanging out with friends.
SPEAKER_00Even go look at your bookcase. Does he read? Like what books does he like? Right. What books do you like to read? What I mean, if you look at my bookcase, it's all holistic health and crystals and self-development and all the things, but that's something for even young kids. Well, what do you like to what do you like to read? Because nobody thinks about that. Go to your bookcase. Right. What what what's in your bookcase the most?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because I truly believe that there's a career that's in there somewhere. You have to just start looking at like the skills or the the things that were within it that like make, you know, is it, oh, I really enjoy socializing. You know, there's people that are like, I don't want to talk to anybody throughout the day. Like, I would love to sit behind a desk all day and that'd be happy. Well, walk everyone out. Yeah. You know, there's obviously a career for that, you know. So it's just it, I think it's just the human condition that we all want to feel purposeful. I mean, I think it's even in like, you know, one of the predicators of l longevity is, you know, purpose. That's why all these people retire and they just circled the drain because they're, you know, the thing that lit them up, that get got them up in the morning is gone, you know, and it has to be replaced until the day we no longer take a breath.
The Higher-Self Perspective [How Jess Tunes In]
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Purpose is the big one. But I always say the connection, honestly, to the spiritual realm of if you don't have some type of connection, like I said, I don't care if it's the earth, if it's Mother Earth, if it's the crystal, if it's an archangel, if it's God, if it's the cloud, whatever that is to you, is it's that connection that's gonna allow you to listen to your intuition. Yeah, something that's like outside of yourself and inside, yeah. You know, the Holy Ghost, the Buddha, you know. Right. Whatever that your higher self. And that's what I tell people too that don't know what they even believe in. My 16-year-old self, I would have been like, I don't know what I believe. I I don't know. Why are you asking me that? I don't know. But if you introduce maybe, well, where where do you see yourself in 10 years? Like, let's dream a little bit. Like, bring in the higher self aspect. Like, what does that higher version of you look like in 10 years? What would he be doing if we could dream a little bit right now?
SPEAKER_02Well, and I found a lot more flow and ease is in my life when I'm tapped into source or in my highest self. Uh I don't believe you have to believe in God, you know, but it sure makes life a lot easier. Sure does. You know. Sure shit does. And I'm like, man, I'd rather be wrong, you know, than uh what's that saying? I can't remember it. You know what I'm saying. Basically, like, I'm gonna go ahead and just continue to believe that I we're not alone, that there are there is an omnipresent.
SPEAKER_00There's something that created us. Yeah. Like I said, even if that's what you there's something, there's something, right, that created us.
SPEAKER_02And it's okay to admit you don't you don't know. You know, because Do we all ever know? Yeah. Is there really that certainty?
SPEAKER_00We don't know.
SPEAKER_02We don't know. Well, we may just be crazy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we may, but that crazy helps me, okay? That crazy helps me in this human experience. And that's what I say too. We're all spiritual beings, we're all energy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We all are composed of energy. And when we find what lights us up, that's why I love the higher self perspective for people that don't know what they believe in. If you give them like a higher self aspect or meditation or something to even do, that actually helps that connection piece tremendously when people don't know what the fuck they believe in.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I think that's really that's key because everybody can get on board with I I know when I'm tuned in and being of my highest good. People know that. They do. So if you can that resonates, then it opens the door for all other things to kind of creep in.
SPEAKER_00That's my number one thing every single day. I do it every day. I connect with my higher self. I get into my higher self alignment. Because honestly, my mission here on earth is to be in my higher self in my highest potential, the best of my capacity every single day, because when I do that, I serve thousands more. And I have the energy to serve thousands more when I am in that energetic frequency of my higher self.
SPEAKER_02So, how how do you tune in? How do you tune into your highest self? What's like your routine?
SPEAKER_00Now, well, now it's kind of easy, but in the beginning, I would just do meditation. Honestly, I would just repeat meditation over and over again of like, what does that connection even feel like for me? What does that look like? Um now I can kind of wake up, I can envision her. So a beautiful, I think Christy actually did it with me. No, that was a spirit guide one. Spirit guides was actually the first pivot, actually, because I could attune to spirit guides a little bit easier than my higher self. Wow. Which was weird. I don't know why, but like spirit guides I could attune to a little bit easier. Um so I did uh higher self meditation and it was a visualization. So if you can't visualize, you can feel into maybe what does that version of you look like in 10 to 20 years, or what does she look like, you know, in the goddess realm. If you like goddesses or believe in goddesses, it's you know, whatever attunes, but um, it was a visualization of well, what does my higher perspective look like in that meditation? And then it's actually embodying that, it's integrating that into my body every single day. So it's waking up in the morning, let me close down my eyes, let me envision my higher self in that perspective of that identity of who she is, and let me feel that through my heart space. How do I feel in my body when I feel connected with her? And it's actually just bringing in that energetic frequency every single day, just like Reiki.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
Why Mindset Work isn't Permanent Healing
SPEAKER_00Just like bridging in that frequency every day of unconditional love. That's why I love meditation. That's why I love energy work, is because you can bring in those different experiences at any given moment. You have the choice. Like even right now, talking about our higher self. I'm like, oh wait, let me sit up stronger. Let me, I can feel the energy pulsing. Yeah. So it's actually just tuning into that frequency of what she feels like.
SPEAKER_02Why isn't mindset work alone enough to create lasting and healing and happiness? Do you think?
SPEAKER_00Okay, this is by philosophy. Uh so when we are in the mind, we are, like we said earlier, we are creating so much awareness, which is beautiful, right? We have to have awareness to be able to create change. But when we are stuck in the awareness, we can create more illusions based on that experience that we had. So, what I mean by that, it's like, okay, I have the awareness, let's say that I'm self-sabotaging right now. Okay, these are the ways that I cannot self-sabotage, but then these are the ways that I can. And then our brain, our mind, actually creates different stories on top of that compounding like self-sabotage. So when you do that, it's like we're creating things over and over and over and over again. We're staying in a loop, essentially, right? But when we integrate it into the body and then into an energy, more spiritual approach, then we can actually integrate that into the body and anchor it into the body where the energy is actually stored.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So mindset alone only can take you so far. Yeah. Truly. Because we want to transmute it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00I mean, and you can do that with more like positive psychology, but what I've seen just doing over a decade of this, it's still surface-level healing when we are just creating awareness, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It is. And people get re-traumatized. They make up new stories that traumatize them even further because sometimes they don't know the caveat to, like I said, I love therapists. You guys, I'm not dogging therapist. I fucking swear. I've just had a lot of experience with patients that have gone to therapy. Um, but sometimes they don't have the positive tool sets that need to be in place to, let's say, spiritually bypass, because really what we're doing, if you're not integrating the body in the energetic world, you're spiritually bypassing into let's just say, like positive psychology, which there's truth in that, you can heal and you can transmute. Uh I I would say I take that back. You can't really transmute the energy because it's still like you're bypassing your internal dialogue, right? Of your body knows the truth. Your body is a wisdom keeper, it knows the actual truth. So you have to incorporate the body for it to completely complete the loop and the cycle and to actually have sustainable healing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Or you're just gonna revert right back. I mean, how many times have you created awareness around something? And then a week later, fuck. Yeah, here I am again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And it's like, oh, why does my back keep hurting? You know?
SPEAKER_00Like, why are my hips so tight? You know? Because emotions, that energy is truly stored in the body.
SPEAKER_02That the body keeps score. The body keeps score.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's I actually don't like reading that book because it's like so. Have you ever listened to that? Uh-uh. Oh my gosh, it's the worst voice ever. They need a female. But oh, the audio. Yeah, the audio. Um, but feelings buried alive never die is like my Bible, truly, because it shows you what feelings and what emotions we have and where that energy is stuck in our nervous system. Your nervous system, you guys, is literally your super highway of how you live your life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
What is Intuitive Tapping?
SPEAKER_00Uh, if you're not looking at where your energy, where that energy is stored, that stuck energy and how it's manifesting in the physical body, that's what creates dis-ease is the that stored trauma, that stored emotion in our body. So if we're not incorporating that, how the fudge are you gonna have sustainable healing and think that you're gonna? I mean, you can think your way to a lot of things, don't get me wrong. But the truth of it, right? Because the truth lies in the body, we do have to incorporate, you're gonna find a lot more happiness, a lot more joy, a lot more presence when we're incorporating the body and also the spiritual aspect of things. Do you do anything with tapping? I I'm such a rebel. Um, so I do intuitive tapping. Okay. So I actually tell my clients, I I'm not big on EFT and all the things. Yes, I think there's truth in it, but it just never really hit for me. I was more so, where do I feel like I need to tap? Where's my body telling me that I need to tap? Because that's the most important thing, is like what my body's telling me. Now, do I believe in processes? Yes, of course. But honestly, I tried EFT many times and it just didn't resonate. It just didn't resonate and it didn't work for me. And that's okay. So I actually teach my clients and I do more like intuitive tapping, especially in breath work when I can, I'm very sensitive. As you do Reiki, and you probably know after you did Reiki and just being an energy healer, and we are very sensitive to energy and what's moving through. So I can even pinpoint like acupressure points too of like where the energy is stuck to help it release and flow. So that's another way that I teach it. It's really body-based and it's really intuitive-led in my programs. It's all about you actually listening to your intuition and teaching your clients to listen to their intuition of like what do they actually need?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I love that. I don't know what made me ask you about tapping.
SPEAKER_00I guess it just it just we needed to say that message. Yes.
SPEAKER_02It needed to be needed to be heard.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think sometimes too that, and that's another thing with mindset. I think sometimes people get so stuck in processes of like, well, this person did this, this is gonna work for me. Well, this person did this, this is well, especially nurses, because we're process people, right? Yeah, especially how we were trained. And that's how a lot of people are trained. Well, you do XYZ and then you get this result. Well, that's not true. Everyone's nervous system is different.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Outcome can be different. Outcome can be completely different from who's doing this and who's doing that.
"To be happy, stay curious."
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, and you that just really boils down to like we all are coming from different perspectives, lenses, traumas, like we're so unique, just like our fingerprints.
SPEAKER_00So every little thing is going to be completely different for yeah, I always say that. Not one single person has the same nervous system.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Not one person.
SPEAKER_02I'm getting ready to start a training called The Alchemy of Self. And it's uh, I feel like I'm gonna be a student until the day I die. Like I always want to be taking a training. And it's not that like I'm worried, like I don't have enough knowledge to share, to, you know, I've left that story in the past. You know, like you only have to know a little more to share experiences. Um, but it's called psychosynthesis. Have you heard of this? No. So neither had I.
SPEAKER_00I think a I feel like I've seen it somewhere.
SPEAKER_02Have you heard of Adam and Claude? Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's where the purple eagle tribe. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, okay, okay. So that's it's 13 months. And that what just brought to mind is I believe that it's going to be a blend of this psychology with spirituality, and you know, their talk a lot about like, okay, awareness is just one piece to it, just like what we've talked about. So just was curious if you had heard of that or not.
SPEAKER_00I haven't, but I'm gonna look it up. You should. I'm actually starting, and like you said, I'm always gonna be curious, right? I always want to learn. I think as nurses too, we just love to educate as well, right? And so I'm actually starting my PhD in spiritual psychology.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_00I don't give a fuck about the doctorate degree. I I don't care. I just, it's the knowledge of like, I need accountability, honestly, of being in a program to be like, okay, let's better your knowledge and let's further yourself here. And I actually need that accountability of actually being in a program and having deadlines. Because it's not, I'm like, oh, I can do it self-study and save thousands. And I'm like, but can you?
SPEAKER_02Right. How long will that be? How long will that last?
SPEAKER_00And how long will that take you? I love that you're doing that though, because it's we're and I think that's the beautiful thing about happiness too. Honestly, it's the curiosity.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's staying curious. To be happy, stay curious.
Why Jess's Boys are Her Purpose [Spiritual Awakening]
SPEAKER_02Yeah. How old are your children? Tell me a little bit about you, you personally like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so my kids are six and eight. They are turning seven and nine this year.
SPEAKER_02Boys, two boys. Two boys. Two. Oh, your boy mama.
SPEAKER_00Yes, boy mama. Um, yeah. My oldest is my creative brain, like left side dominant. Um, and my youngest is the right side brain. Isn't that funny? Complete opposites. Complete opposites. But honestly, I mean, they're my why. Honestly, if I didn't have them here, I would have committed suicide probably a long time ago. A long time ago. Yeah. So I'm so thankful for them. Honestly, my first son is when my big spiritual awakening happened. Big spiritual awakening. Because I was always avoidant. I always ran. I was always the flight. I always like I was about to jump a flight, literally, and leave to go to Florida with my ex and be with him. And then I found out I was pregnant. So Spirit had other plans. Spirit had other plans for me. So it was a journey, um, tremendously. But yeah, I think I have two boys because they are showing me unconditional love from men. Oh my god. But I've never, like I said, I know my dad loves me, but like the emotional capacity-wise and having deep conversations, I don't have this with my family at all. We do a little bit, they're getting better in their older age. They're they're getting a softening a little bit softening a little bit. Um, but I say that's why I have two boys is because they're showing me unconditional love. And also how to be supported by men and how men should support women and talk to women. Yeah. Going, that's that was a huge thing in my divorce, is I wasn't respected. I wasn't honored as a woman. I was talked to just there's a lot there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I left because of my boys. So they knew that's not how we treat women, that's not how we treat anyone.
SPEAKER_02Anyone, period. Well, good for you because that is that is fundamental to a little boy's growth and what kind of man they become, is all centered around how their father is treating their mother, you know. Uh do you have a good, good relationship now?
SPEAKER_00We do. We we actually co-parent really, really good, and he's a really good dad, and we just weren't met for each other. I was his oil to his whatever, whatever that terminology. Oil to water water, whatever that is. Um, we just ignited each other tremendously, but we also got together when he was 19 and I was 20, 21. Okay. It was very young. Yeah. So we didn't even have our frontal lobe freaking developed. It's like we didn't know what we were doing. Um but we all had childhood, we all have childhood trauma, but he does too, in regards to how he was raised and the anger that his parents, his dad had specifically. So of course I marry a man that has the same thing that I was raised in and that my dad has. Yeah. Of course I married that.
SPEAKER_02So isn't that funny how we do that? You know, one jumping back into children and like, you know, I my children have uh a seven-year span between the two of them. So I think it's really awesome that you had your spiritual awakening right around the time of your firstborn. Mine came a little bit later. I think I had the curiosity, but it didn't come until after my son. So my whole point is that like our children get these different versions of us in parenting, you know. And, you know, with my daughter, I was, you know, we were kind of raising each other. You know, I this is my first time being a parent. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, you know. But by the second one, it's like, oh, I have a little more experience. I'm in a different season in my life. I I don't have to grind as hard. And, you know, so oftentimes I'm like, how did these kids end up so different? And then it's like, well, they they did have different experiences, they'd have different experiences even if I was the exactly the same. But the truth is, I I would never, nobody stays exactly the same, or let's hope not. I know.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, my kids get different versions every day, I think.
SPEAKER_02Is it the voice today?
SPEAKER_00I know, is it like what is happening today?
SPEAKER_02What's like one small way someone can feel more alive today, do you think?
SPEAKER_00Closing down their eyes and just putting their hand on their heart, just taking a big deep breath. And also bringing in an experience of when you have felt alive. Because I think sometimes it's hard when people are in survival and go, go, go mode that they can't take a pause to look externally to find something that makes them feel alive. And so I I think sometimes I know for me when I was struggling really bad, or even the days I still have bad days, you guys. Like I'm fucking human. Okay. I have bad days still. Not bad days, just whatever you're doing. Challenging. Challenging days. That's a better, that's a better verbiage. Um, I bring back an experience where I did feel fully alive and bring that energy back in so that can offer me that in that present moment instead of me honestly going and buying a purse or going and buying clothes or whatever that may be, right? So it's the actual true aliveness from within that you are training yourself to have.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, not pulling all these outside things to fill this God-shaped hole that we tend to have. And that really I love that. Closing our eyes. It can be that simple. Yes. It could be that easy. Yes. And we like to complicate everything.
SPEAKER_00I know when I started my journey, I was like, am I doing this right? Am I meditating right? Am I there's no wrong way to do it. Right. So I like to offer that. There's just no wrong way to do it at all. So just but people can't get out of their mind. They can't get out of the monkey mind. That's why I have them hand on the heart, that body connection, that felt sense, just pause and breathe.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, you know, it's interesting. You sound a lot like Christy. I can tell I've been with her for a decade. Yeah, I can tell that she has been your teacher a long time, and that's a really wonderful compliment, just so you know.
The Misconception of Happiness
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Well, what's one truth about happiness most people get wrong?
SPEAKER_00That's a tough one. I'm trying to think of mine. What did I get wrong about happiness? Probably that I thought it was external and that it I would it would keep coming when I had, oh, that's what it is. When I get this, I'll be happy. Yeah. When I get this, I'll be happy. I think that's probably every fucking human on earth. Is like when I get this thing, I'll be happy. When I get this achievement, I'll be happy. When I get this money, I'll be happy.
SPEAKER_02When I finally get married, I'll be happy.
SPEAKER_00When I find the love of my life, I'll be happy. And that's just repeating patterns is looking for that external and people need to go in.
"Start taking radical responsibility for your life."
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay. What would you tell a woman who feels quietly miserable but doesn't know why?
SPEAKER_00Ask yourself why. Get curious with yourself and start asking yourself those hard questions and start taking radical responsibility for your life and the choices that you are making.
SPEAKER_02I love that. Radical responsibility. Because it really is our response. No one else is in charge of that. Um, that's in many ways very relieving and quite comforting because I am.
SPEAKER_00A lot of times too, we play victim, not even having the awareness that we're in victim. I know I did a lot, a lot of the time. But when I take radical responsibility for my part that I played in any experience that I'm having, because you're playing a part too, just like my ex-husband was playing a part, or whoever is playing a part, you're still playing your own part, and you gotta start looking at well, what's going on and and why.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's just being curious with yourself and regulate yourself too. Regulate yourself and then be curious.
SPEAKER_02If you could leave listeners with one embodied truth about happiness, what would it be?
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna come back to the regulation piece. Learning to ground, regulate, tap into your own inner knowing in your own body and find what lights your soul on fire, that's where the true happiness does come into play. And that connection. Like let's say kids are I I'm sure probably a lot of your listeners probably have kiddos or even spouses. It's actually taking the moment to listen to what they're actually saying and what they're actually doing. Because you may have just missed a huge laughing moment that you could have had with your whole family, but you were too busy looking down and scrolling on your phone and not being present because you're hyper stimulated or you're trying to escape or you're disconnected. So that's also with happiness. You gotta have that connection from within and find that connection, whatever that connection looks like for you.
SPEAKER_02Well, I have so appreciated you coming in and taking the time to getting to know just a little part of you. You sound you're you're amazing. I'm really excited to see what happens with your future and your business and watching your kids get older. And I'm just very grateful to have met you.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for allowing me to have this conversation. I told you I could talk all day. We could probably do like 20 podcasts. I got a lot of stories. Every time I sit in Christy's chair, she's just like, how's my mouth gonna drop open today? And I'm like, I don't know yet. We'll see. She's like, you need to write a book.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, I know, I do. Well, I'll read it.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much, though, for having me come on. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02Thank you.
