Dopamine Diaries
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Dopamine Diaries
Christine’s HBA Breakthrough as a VP of Operations
Today’s episode is one of my favorites, because you’re about to hear from Christine, a VP of Operations who leads a team of 300 people across the United States… and still found herself stuck in the same survival patterns so many high-achieving women do:
running on autopilot, feeling on 24/7, & drowning in self awareness but unable to change.
Inside this episode, Christine shares:
What it’s really like managing hundreds of employees while trying to regulate your own nervous system
Spoiler: she thought she was “high strung”, turns out she was just stuck in survival mode.
The moment she realized she’d been living on autopilot
Checking boxes, multitasking, hitting metrics… yet feeling disconnected from herself, her partner, and her team.
How tiny daily lifelines inside HBA shifted her out of spirals in seconds
She describes one of the tools as “brain floss” (and I will never get over that).
Why self-awareness alone wasn’t helping her
So many women can explain their patterns, but HBA finally gave her the tools to interrupt them.
How HBA made her a more grounded leader
She now walks the floor with intentional presence, takes real lunch breaks (!!!!!), and holds space without feeling drained.
Why she did HBA twice… and why the second round hit even deeper
Different season, different growth. Same nervous system magic.
What she'd tell any woman on the fence about joining
Her words, not mine: “Do not deny yourself the opportunity to feel your best. This is the one thing that actually tipped the scale.”
Ready for HBA? 20% off below.
https://www.mnmfitnessco.com/hba
All right. Thanks, Christine, for chatting with me today. Obviously, you've done HBA. Before we start talking about that, can you just introduce yourself? Tell me what you do. Tell me how long you've been doing it. Tell me what your days are like, everything that you're juggling, so we get a good idea of how HBA has fit into your life.
SPEAKER_01:You got it. So I am a vice president for a company called Sedgwick. And I manage an operations team of about 300 people. And those 300 people are spread out across the United States. A lot of high expectations, a lot of pressure. 300 people is certainly not easy. And I have days that are filled with a lot of meetings, a lot of client-facing meetings, a lot of one-on-ones, a lot of colleague development. We have to meet service level agreements, performance guarantees, keep performance metrics, all the things. And I work from home two days a week and I work in an office three days a week. And I travel frequently to three of our other main locations for my operations teams from a personal perspective. And I've been doing that for 21 years. Yes. So I've been with this company for a very long time. I've kind of grown up in the industry, which is really cool also. Before that, I was a teacher. And actually, fun fact, I took, I didn't know what to do during the summer. I was fresh out of high school, fresh out of college, looking for a job. I started teaching for a couple of years. June comes along and I'm like, what am I going to do with myself? Because I can't sit still. So I took a job filing paperwork at this company and then I never left because I kept promoting and doing all the things. And really being in a leadership role, a lot of things are parallel. I just don't have to deal with people's parents, which is ideal for me. For me at least. From a personal perspective, I have a boyfriend that we've been together for 20 years and a dad. So no kids, only child. My mother just recently passed away. I say recently, it feels recent, but it's been, I think, three years now. So a lot of grief that I'm starting to, not starting to, that I have been dealing with for a very long time, starting when she um became sick. So that's pretty much me in a nutshell. What one thing that's interesting that probably is a little different than most. And I know Kate, you and I talked about this during my intake call is uh I started this health journey a little bit before my mom actually got sick. And my doctor told me that I needed to be on blood pressure pressure medicine. And I was like, yeah, no, not doing that. I will fix this on my own. So I have lost 100 pounds through diet and exercise, and I have worked really hard to do that. And I actually fell in love with the process of um just all things nutrition and movement. So I was like a sponge. I wanted all of the information that I could get from that perspective. So I even took like online courses. So um I got a health and mindset certification and I got a nutrition certification. I had a coach that I used along the way. I was literally like a sponge. I wanted all of the information. And after my mom got sick and she passed away, it was like, what do I do with this information? I didn't know. It was almost like I was gathering, gathering, gathering, but I didn't necessarily have the practical applications to put things in place. And that's where HVA came along for me.
SPEAKER_00:I remember our um very first call. I was, I took that call outside um in our backyard. I don't know why I was outside for that, but I vividly remember it was hot. I was outside and you were telling me a lot of these things and how it felt like your days were very urgent and it you always felt like very on, very like having to be on the go and having to have your hands and things. And it just kind of like drove you into this like fast-paced cadence. And that was one of the things we talked about a lot. And I'm really curious from HBA, have you noticed any change with that? Just your I use the word internal cadence, like our rhythm, our pace that we carry as women. Have you seen any change in that? Have you felt any relief or noticed any more presence and how you go about your obviously very busy lifestyle and responsibilities that you have since doing HBA?
SPEAKER_01:A hundred percent. So I I think I during that call and since I would oftentimes describe myself as like really high strung. Like I have to check all of the boxes, I have to do all of the things. What I didn't realize is that I'm actually on autopilot. So while I'm checking every single box every single day, I'm also not seeing any results. Like I had stalled on losing weight. Now I took myself out of a calorie deficit, but I've stalled there for obvious reasons if you're not in a caloric deficit. But also I'm not present. I am mindlessly scrolling, I am multitasking during meetings, I'm not really pausing. And it's interesting because I have a ton of self-awareness because I have a ton of training that I have done. So I'm able to self-identify hey, you're scrolling, like you're not even listening to what your boyfriend is having to say or about his day, or you're not actively engaging in this colleague that's sitting in your office because you're too worried about uh checking off these five things that you have to do. And that's where HBA was incredibly helpful for me because it it gave it gives me practical application. So it was almost like, okay, I'm able to pause and say, I'm not present in this moment, but how do you get yourself present? I don't know. And then one thing that I found out was all I have to do is type a lifeline, and then here you go. And you send me this thing that like snaps me out of whatever spiral or spin that I'm currently in. And then I'm able to redirect and focus on what I should be doing. Which for me, we've also self-identified that like some of those lifelines that say ask yourself these questions. Well, I've already been doing that, man. I am analyzing the hell out of myself 24-7. But for me, those sensory things were the most effective, like stand in front of a refrigerator or freezer or hold some ice. I had no idea, like as much training as I had, as basic as those things sounded or seemed, like they were really life changers for me. And I'll never forget ever the lifeline that I you sent me. I wish I could uh find it like through all of my text messages. I'm sure you could send it to me. But it was like put these headphones on, and the song is like brain floss. It was phenomenal. Yeah, what that did for me.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I I mean it's it's been very, very helpful. So now when I self-identify, I'm scrolling, I'm spiraling, I'm in my thoughts, just spin, spin, spin, spin. I just ask for a lifeline and then I can snap myself out of it and then be more present.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's interesting that you described it that way because I, you know, I have this was my exact problem years ago. It's every single conversation I have with basically anyone I work with and anyone that just has conversations with me, say on the internet, is when they're in that spiral, and when we're in that spiral, we could, I always say, like, I could give you a dissertation on what is going on when I'm stuck. I could be, I could, I could write you a novel on what's happening, but I don't know what to do after that, right? And that is the most common trap that I see so many women find themselves stuck in is like self-awareness starts, the high levels of self-awareness start to become a prison when we don't know how to transfer that knowledge into the body. When we're up here and we're not dropping down into the body, the nervous system that actually moves us forward, that's where it can, it's almost like those spirals feel way worse because we we know what's going on and we don't have this tool the tools to get out of it. And I agree, I think HBA and just the lifelines, the zaps, the tiny little practices that come every single day for you, give you just a little bit of practice dropping into the body, which then you start to become more comfortable with it. You start to go there by default. You can recognize, like you said, when you're in that spiral, and then you can kind of shift down into the body to actually tackle the resistance that's coming up. Um, you know, on the lifeline feature, I know, you know, given what you do, you're busy. You travel, you've lead three 300 people, you've got lots of responsibilities. One of the things that I know, I believe HBA to be um so valuable in delivering, but I always like asking people too like from a time management and from a like fitting into a very busy lifestyle, is HBA easy to do and experience through that lens? Or did you feel like it was something that you still had to carve out a lot of time? It still felt like a burden or another thing that you had to check off of the list, or did it show up in your day when you needed it? And it was very easy for you to move through it within that four-week process.
SPEAKER_01:It was very, very easy. I absolutely love that it was pushed to me because I don't have time to go to another platform to get it. And if I would have had to do that, I would never have gone. So I loved that it was pushed to me every single morning. It was a quick zap. Ironically, it was exactly what it what I needed to hear at the exact time. And I'm lucky enough that I've done it now twice because I did join the hive, which I cannot praise enough because after I went through HBA the first time, obviously I learned like a lot of tools and a lot of practical application to apply to my every single day. But there was something about going through it the second time. Now, I will self-admit that the second time around, I paused on listening to them when they came because life happened, right? So I think at the time my boyfriend was in the hospital. So I was like, well, I can't really play this while I'm sitting in the hospital room. Or I could have probably put in my headphones, but it was so impactful the first time in true uh Christine diddle fashion. I was like, I'm gonna take notes and I'm gonna absorb all this information and I'm gonna write everything down. So I don't even uh miss a single beat this time, but actually that's not what you need to do because you really don't have to write a single thing down. You absorb what you need during the time and you actually learn so much more than you think you do. And I think you and I were even having a conversation during our one-on-ones because I'm lucky enough to do those with you as well. But I would have never gone back to those notes. So while I was overthinking it, it it seemed pointless. So I I then binged all of them and still I learned little different nuggets the second time around that were so helpful that I didn't necessarily catch the first time, and probably because it's a different point in my life. So I just needed to hear something different in that moment than I picked up on the first time around. So it's yes, it's been very helpful. I love the way it's delivered, it's quick, it's easy, and it's highly effective. And the visuals that come along with like the pictures of the ladder or whatever, whatever pertains, for me, that's really important because you're like, look at this now, listen to this, or look at this now, go to my Instagram and check this post, and this is how it connects. And that's really beneficial for somebody who learns from seeing and listening. So for me, it was it's been it's been life-changing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love that. With you leading so many people, has it added value to how you manage at all?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yes. And I I wish I could give you like a specific.
SPEAKER_00:No, please don't.
SPEAKER_01:But but I can't, I can't because it's changed in so many ways. Like I um make it a point when I am in the office to walk around. I carve out my day, I walk around and I connect, I try to connect with every single person. And pre-HBA, well, I guess I can give you a specific. Um, pre-HBA, like I would, man, I was floating around that office like as quick as I possibly can. And now I'm like, okay, well, I have the time carved out. This is what I'm supposed to be doing during this time. So this is equally important as any task that I have is building connections with the people on my team because when you are connected to somebody, you know that they will be working harder to get results. So uh I did change that. I also introduced um and I never take a lunch ever. I'm working at my desk while I'm eating because I'm just too busy.
SPEAKER_00:Go, go, go mentality.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. But every Thursday now, I facilitate what I call a table talk, and I carve out 30 minutes of my day, and I go and physically eat lunch in our break room, and I send an invite to everybody on the floor, and I'll say, This is your 30-minute table talk with Diddle. You can come and talk about anything you want, your development, our company goals, what I'm eating for lunch, what I'm gonna do over the weekend. If you want to tell me what you're doing in the weekend. So I have carved out time to literally slow down, eat food, and connect with people in my office. That's co-regulation. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:That's, I mean, and one, more than just like carving out the time to do that, for someone that has been go, go, go like yourself. I think it's really easy for us to tell ourselves, yeah, I should be able to do this, or that makes sense, that would be valuable. But to feel safe enough and still productive enough to do that, totally different ball games. So, yes, it's that you're doing that, but also it's that you don't feel completely frantic doing it. It sounds like you're playing it, you're not falling behind. It feels really safe for you to spend that time there. And when we look at it from a nervous system standpoint, like that is a very clear indicator of capacity and regulation and bandwidth and all of those things obviously show up in so many other parts of your life outside of just your role at work. But I I love that it's showing up there too, because when you lead that many people, like you they feed off of your energy, right? They will they will feed off of you. So I love that that's that showing up. Um, you know, last question I have, and then, you know, again, I appreciate your time today, is if someone was on the fence, I know I think when I think about how you found HBA, you were listening to the podcast. I know I had messaged you one day. I was messaging a bunch of people that had watched my story, but I had never communicated with them. And I was messaging them, and I just sent them one of the two, one of the zaps in HBA and I said, Hey, here you go. I just wanted to send this. Have a good day. And then I think you started listening to the podcast. You came into HBA. I think that's how you you found me, maybe. But I would, I'd be really curious. Like, there's a lot of people that probably are podcast listeners. This is going to go on the podcast. There's a lot of people that have watched you, I, everybody else talk about HBA, and that are still just like, I don't know. I don't know if it's for me. I don't know if it's worth it. If it was someone that you knew and that they were on the fence about it, what would you say to them? More than just no, do it, it's worth it. What would you really want to hear?
SPEAKER_01:Man, I I guess it's just I don't, I don't really know other than I can tell a difference in myself, not just the slower pace, but being able to relax in really high tense pressure situations, I would never have been able to do that without HBA. Like it's it's more than a level of an of awareness because at that point it's it's literally like the so what. This is giving you tools to put in your toolbox so when the shit hits the fan, you know what to go in there and grab that will put you right back so you're the most effective in the long run. So it's it's literally giving you. I I didn't even know about the connection with the body. Like I was always just focused on the mind, and I never even thought about the body, but there is literally something to be said about getting in your body in your body and feeling things, and this literally helps you, helps you do that. I love it, yeah. And I binged your podcast, I listened to every single one. I don't know when you did the first one, but that alone is gold.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, the very first episode, I was uh, I remember it was September of uh August, September of last year. And I had been telling myself I was gonna do a podcast for like a year at that point, and I was super postpartum. And my baby was napping and I was doing laundry, and I just had this urge of like, you just need to rip the band-aid and do this. So I was holding my phone while doing laundry, and I had a lot of just the first episode was very, very energetic, I will say. Um, but yeah, that was my like, we're ripping it, we're going, and it's yeah, we've had a podcast for over a year. And to that point, people listen to it and they binge it. It's a very bingeable podcast.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, I guess my my thing, my last thing would say do not deny yourself the opportunity to feel your best. Yes. This is the one thing I out of all of the things that I've done or tried, and trust me, it has been a lot. This is the one thing that I can say has tipped the scale.
SPEAKER_00:I love that. I always tell people, I always my mantra is like let yourself be supported. I feel like as women, we really struggle with that. Like, no, I have to earn it, or no, I can do this myself. And I feel like for a lot of women like us, very driven, very accomplished, there's a lot of that like masculine energy that comes out. And to let ourselves be supported, it sometimes feel like it feels like a threat to that. And I think when you can hold the duality of I can still be exactly who I am and a professional and on my A game, and also have this soft side that deeply, deeply desires to be taken care of. When you can mesh those two things together to your point, I just feel like one, you feel your best, and two, you get to become unstoppable in the things that you really want to be good at, both professionally and personally. Yeah. So well, thank you. So Sorry, I appreciate your time today.