The World Stopped Feeling Like It Was On Fire - Kayla's WIRED Experience

this one's got a little bit of everything... money blocks, marriage secrets, a solo trip glow-up, and my favorite new phrase, "you're glitching again."

Kayla sat down with me post-Wired and just started unloading the good stuff. First the money thing, she didn't think she was worth spending on herself, even though she'd casually drop the same amount on a family trip without a second thought. We dug into that for a minute (round of applause for her honesty).

Then she tells me about a trip she took with her childhood friends... no kids, no husband, and for the first time ever, no anxiety either. No shutting down, no leaving early, no upset stomach. Just an actual good time.

oh and she didn't tell her husband she signed up for Wired. at all. until he started noticing the difference himself.

in this one:

• the "world's on fire" urgency and what it actually quieted into
• the belief that she wasn't worth spending money on herself
• a solo trip with zero anxiety, no upset stomach, no early flight home
• the random brain stuff remembering numbers, finishing her sentences
• what she'd tell a mom sitting in that "I don't deserve this" feeling

her line that's been stuck in my head: "I'm still safe with going slower."

https://www.mnmfitnessco.com/wired

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Okay, Kayla, thanks for spending some time with me today. I know you just went through round one of Wired, and I wanted to just ask you a couple quick questions about what your experience was like. Sound good?

unknown 0:12

Sounds good.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Okay, so first question: you had mentioned feeling like you're seeing the world differently since changing a couple of the habits that we went through in Wired. Um, I'm really curious to know when you say differently, what do you mean by that? And what's actually different about how you experience, say, a normal Wednesday now than what you would have before?

SPEAKER_00 0:34

So I feel like everything I was trying to explain it to my family yesterday too, after like thinking about it, because I've been telling them I've been working with you and they're like, well, what is that? And I feel like it's just like everything doesn't feel like the world's on fire and it's like an emergency anymore.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I'm able to like I'm not I'm reacting and like nothing in my life has changed, like nothing's gone away, like stress is the same, like you know, all that kind of stuff is happening, but I don't feel like like I'm on fire running through it, trying to hold everything together, if that makes sense. I feel like I'm able to like see things and like the noise inside my head that's like the constant like to-do list, the tab falls open, the we gotta do this, we gotta go there, the rushing everywhere. That was something I really noticed too, you know, and I see it more now, like I recognize it in my husband more, like now that I'm aware of it, where we I'm rushing to literally do it, rushing to brush my teeth, rushing to leave to go here, rushing to finish up this test to like do nothing. There's no sense of urgency in it anymore. And I feel like since uh probably by like the middle of week two, that like quieted down. Like now after completing it, it it's still the same. I just am like we traveled, but like things have just been so chaotic, and like I just feel calm inside, I guess, is like the best way to try to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Yeah, it's the the lack of urgency is wild once you start to get a taste of what it feels like after that, like and outside of that. It's like such a I think sometimes jarring experience too to realize like how much of our life we've been living very go, go, go, and really what it could be like with just yeah, and too, I feel like you know, I you're safe in it.

unknown 2:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Like, and I feel like that was something like uh the urgency made me feel you know, like I was doing that to like keep things on task and like safe, but like I'm still safe with going slower and like taking a second to think and like not having to be constantly doing something 24-7.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

I love that. The safety aspect is one, I mean, you know this, but the safety aspect is one that just makes me extremely emotional because I feel like that's what so many women just don't get to experience so much, especially as parents. So agree wholeheartedly. It is such a game changer when you start to feel that way. Um, I'm also kind of curious, like, what is a version of you that almost did not sign up for Wired? And what was she um telling herself about why she didn't need this or couldn't maybe make time for it?

SPEAKER_00 3:02

I guess I wasn't worth my own money.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Oof.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

I, you know, because you asked me, you're like, what's transitation? And I'm like paying for it.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

That time I had just paid almost the exact amount for tickets for my family to go to CBRO.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

And then my husband's like, God, that's so expensive. And I was like, that's what it's gonna cost. We're gonna go do it. And then I was talking with you, and like my insides were like, ugh, I I can't spend that on me.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

And then why?

SPEAKER_00 3:29

And I'm like, I I don't know. Like, I could like I I think I had like a belief in my head that like my husband wouldn't understand initially and like justify spending the money. And then you were like, you you said something about like I it's because it's on me, and I was like, Yeah, and then I was like, you know, I'm not I feel like I'm not worth no money, but why do I say that C World's fine? Like that I didn't think quite about it.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

So just kind of the timing was the timing was kind of perfect too, because it was almost like the exact amount for each thing, and I was just like, that's fine, but I'm not worth it.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

But I'm so I could. I'm so glad you did too, because obviously I've seen and communicated with you what some of those changes were. But yeah, I mean that's the that's the biggest reservation for any mom, really. Um, I think when you become a mom, it's by default there's that feeling of, well, it's selfish to do that for myself or spend that on myself when it can go towards other things. And it's a difficult narrative to shift. Um, but it really does allow you to have more time back, more presence back, um, more patience, all of the above. And like you said, way less urgency and safety in what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

So um able to enjoy the things that I am putting my money towards too. Like, like we went like since starting this, I went on a trip, um, a bachelor's party for like a weekend with my childhood friends, and I have not traveled without my husband or kids. And like I used to like be consumed by anxiety. I would like to travel and love the idea that I'd get in it, and I would just shut down. I'd get upset stomach, I wouldn't be able to like enjoy what I was doing. I left early multiple times from trips that I went on alone because I just didn't feel I guess safe and I don't know why. And then in the middle of Wyoming, I went on a trip and I had zero anxious feelings, like completely zero. My kids were okay. I was worried about my kids, my kids, like everybody was okay, and then I was able to just like actually enjoy myself for the first time, like probably I don't want to say well, maybe my whole life, honestly, like as an adult, like going and traveling.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Yeah, that was the uh that was the was it the bachelorette trip that you were yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Yeah, yeah, I talked about leaving my my daughter.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Yep, yeah, we talked about that. Yeah, I love that. Um, you also had mentioned you called checking your phone more of a like compulsive habit before. So I'm curious, was there a specific moment in Wired where that word of like compulsive compulsivity stopped kind of fitting what you're experiencing? And when do you think it really went from being um like out of control automatic into an intentional choice? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

I made the cut like because like I've seen, you know, like the kids' shows, they're they study them and make them like addictive to like I'm pick what kid shows my kids watch because I don't want them like you know programmed and doing by the colors, but our phones do the same thing, and when I put it into black and white, I was like, it just didn't have the same like reward, I guess, when you don't want to like do things versus when it wasn't color, and then I was like, wow. And then doing like the games too, like that like got me I got the same feeling from like watching the ball drop or like doing a little challenge, or like I did, you know, 20 uses to use a paperclip. Like it was fun to like think that and the other thing too that I've noticed too since doing it, and I was telling my family I'm able to remember better.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Like I'm I'm remembering like I'm I I'm finding myself less times like forgetting what I'm gonna go do, or like when I have to like at work, I'll have to like call a patient and I would try and dial the phone number and have to look like six times. I'm able to like blah blah blah blah blah dial, dial and like go versus like looking like six times because uh that that was something too I've noticed in the last probably week, actually. Like I'm just able to remember remember better.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Yeah, you're you're thinking and like your attention isn't as fragmented anymore, is what it sounds like. It's you're able to kind of focus and retain. Yeah, that's that's one of the biggest things that we lose when um not even just that we scroll too much, but when we just don't really have much choice over where our focus is going. And so once we start to get that control back, so many different things change. So I love that. I love that the walking to the remote the room and knowing what you're going in there for is huge. I feel like everyone ever is like, why did I walk in here? I totally forgot. So deeply related.

unknown 8:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Or I used to even forget what I was saying then sent it.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Like I would be speaking to someone or like my husband, and I'd be like, What? And I'd be like, I don't even know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I can't even remember. He's like, Really, like he just didn't understand. And I'm like, it's just it literally left my brain. I don't know how else to say it.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

My uh my husband calls those moments for me glitches. He's like, You're glitching again, aren't you? And I'm like, yeah, I'm glitching. There's too much going on up here, and I need to reset it for a second. So yeah, totally get that. Um, last question what would you tell a mom or a woman who is skeptical that one, it's not gonna work, two, it's just another thing that they're gonna waste their money on and try. Um, or three, just kind of like you said, feel that pit in their stomach of like actually doing something for themselves.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

You're worth your time and your energy.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

You're you're worth it, you deserve it. You know, you give so much to so many people all the time. And I feel like oh, this one's making me emotional.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Aww.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Um I think our time my biggest obstacle I think was I didn't not necessarily believe that I deserved my time because if if the situation were worse, I'd be like, dude, go fucking do it.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Like, no, it's okay. It's okay, you know I'm fine with it.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Uh but like just like just do it. And then my biggest obstacle, I think I didn't feel or know how to explain it to my husband, and I didn't think that he would understand the value of it. So I did it without talking to him, which is not how we operate. We are not like we literally we do everything as a unit, we are married, we discuss everything. And I did it without him without talking with him about it. And he didn't say anything at first, and then he noted, oh my gosh, you're high. So funny. Um but I didn't think that he would like understand it, like to explain. So I just did it. And then when we were talking about doing hive and stuff after, I like just asked him. I told him, I said, you know, I I I did this thing with the neurocoach. He goes, You didn't tell me that. I said, I know, because I I didn't I don't know why I did it, and it didn't that didn't feel right. And then I talked about Hive and I was like, have you seen a difference in me? And he was right off the bat was like, Yes, and I was like, I didn't think he he did. And I said, you know, in the last month he goes, I have. And then I you know, that to me, like right there was like, okay, like it it was invaluable. Like if he recognized it and can see it, like it's probably not the best way to go about it. But I feel like if I if I wouldn't if I would have talked to them, it would have turned into a thing and like I knew that I needed it, and I knew that like in my head I was gonna talk myself out of it if I didn't like go ahead and do it. So I feel like that is probably like a big thing. Like if if you feel like your mind is chaos and you can't shut it off and you're just like in the thick of it too. I feel like two with like younger kids, like mine are five and eight. And so I'm not in that they need me 24-7 mode too, which is like weird, but like they need me in like different ways. But like I just remember being in the thick of it thinking, like, I am never gonna be able to literally do anything for myself again. Like, I'm not gonna like everybody needs me all the time. Like, I can't do anything, but like this wasn't something that I felt like I had to add on to like stress me out more. It was like a a reprieve from like everything and all the other demands that I needed, which was something that like most things that you do like this aren't like that.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Yeah, they're like one more thing to keep track of.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

You're not, you know, download this thing, do that. You have to spend time. It's an hour versus a thing where like, you know, the prompts that you sent were 10 minutes. I could listen to them in the car when I was driving somewhere while I was getting ready. Like it just was so easy to pull into my life of things that I was already doing that it wasn't it, it it didn't seem like extra. I I looked looked forward to it.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Yeah, it's a it was an actual break. That's what I keep trying to describe wired as. Is like it's an actual, it's the break that we're looking for in the scroll, in the shopping, and the food, and the wine, and all of that. Um, it's just over here and something that actually helps your brain feel a whole heck of a lot better. So yeah. Well, thank you so much for your time. I have genuinely loved this conversation. I kind of got emotional with you there because can't can't even. Um it it hits me right in the field. But um I appreciate you. Thank you so much for your trust, your time, your dollar until Wired. Um, and yeah, it's been great.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Thank you so much. I you are a gift to everybody. I mean, seriously, I a 10 out of 10, 100 out of 10, I would highly recommend. I probably told all of my friends.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

You did. You asked me, you're like, Canada, can I just invite my friends?

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Just do it. You need to just do it. I but you know, if if you're on the fence and you are wondering if you need to do this or not, just do it. It's worth four weeks at $400 because you're gonna spend it on something else anyway.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

It's five weeks, remember? I extended it.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Oh, five weeks, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Yeah, and I think I I liked that extra weeks we're gonna keep it at the five. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah, true, true. All right. Well, thank you so, so much.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Yes, thank you.