13: Stronger Together: Transform Your Life with Social Well-Being

In this episode of Group X Appeal, Kimberly and Terry delve into the concept of social well-being, which is all about having and nurturing strong, healthy connections with other people, from family and friends to your broader community.

They discuss the fact that we, social beings, are hard-wired for connection. Tune in to hear the benefits of social interaction and why it has such a positive impact on overall well-being.

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- @kimberlyspreenglick on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube
- email: kimberly@theinspiredlifeuniversity.com
- website: www.theinspiredlifeuniversity.com

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- @terryshorter on Instagram & Facebook
- email: terry@rippedplanet.com
- website: www.rippedplanet.com

Transcript

Welcome to group X appeal, Terry shorty here and Kimberly spring click. We made it to her favorite number episode, is what 1313 that you that your lucky number it is. So what makes it lucky? What are some things that I honestly don't know. mean, it's not

Like a more of a magical number for me is three. So I guess three being a part of it. But what it really is is whenever Friday the 13th rolls around on the calendar, just is a great day. Best day ever. It really is. It ends up being a lucky day. Something good always happens whenever people always freaked out like, it's Friday the 13th. I'm like, it on. So 13 we're here and let us know if 13 is your favorite number too. Like Kimberly's I'd love to hear that. So today is all about social well being.

And basically what, how do we define social or social wellbeing? Kimberly social well being is all about having strong, healthy connections with other people from family to friends, to kind of your closer community, to your broader community. It's about nurturing and developing and deepening those connections. love it. And there's so many great benefits and we'll share them with you right now before we get into your strategies, but

Here's what's in it for you when you could practice social wellbeing. And this comes directly from psychology today, which includes some research by Steve Cole and some of the top benefits we'll share right out of the gates. It's known that you have 50 % an increase in longevity in your life. That's pretty huge. That's incredible. Right? Just by keeping connected. by being social, it helps increase and improve your immune system as well.

So who? Yeah, sign me up. So don't need medicines and stuff. Just get out and meet people, meet people, press the flesh. It also helps lessen anxiety. regardless of whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, it's known to do that. higher self esteem as well. Who wants to feel better about themselves? Right? All of us, boost feelings of fulfillment. We all want feelings and a life filled of fulfillment.

Kimberly/terry (02:11.832)
reduces levels and occurrences of depression. That's huge. Especially nowadays. Absolutely. know, with social media, there's, you know, a ton of cases more than ever before of cases of depression. And just by getting out there and actually meeting people again, get staying connected, really staying connected with people will help reduce that. And then lastly, it just improves the feedback loop of social interaction.

Yeah, there's this like feedback loop that we start to develop as young children. And if we're not, you know, it's kind of like training a skill. If we're not constantly in an environment where we're in communication with others in dialogue, we kind of lose the ability to be successful in creating the feedback loop. So the more we put ourselves in a situation to be social, the more we get to kind of practice creating a solid positive feedback loop, which is great.

I mean, you want to be a great communicator in all relationships. For sure. And you know, it was interesting. I saw, read an article just recently, very recently, just about how that feedback loop was disrupted during the great pause. You know, and it took self included. took, a lot of people, a great deal of time to get back to that place, to be able to experience that feedback loop. So, we're back. We're back. We are so back.

We're not just back where you're so back. those are the benefits. That's what's in it for you. let's talk about some of the strategies. Yeah, we've got five strategies for you. And the first, you know, I have a favorite book. If you haven't heard of this book, it is called the top five regrets of the dying by Bronnie Ware. Bronnie Ware was a palliative care nurse and as she did her work. So generally palliative care nurse is

is taking care of people who are in their final, generally 10, 12 weeks of their life. So knowing that she was nurturing patients who were in their final day, she started asking them, do you have any regrets? Well, the regrets were so repetitive that she was able to create a top five list and she top five list for our top five list. Exactly. I I love it. Go, brahmi meant to be. So she originally wrote us a blog.

Kimberly/terry (04:27.672)
And then that blog got picked up by the Huffington Post and was republished. And then she eventually turned it into a book. So I, which is on my, my shelf help section in my house. No, this one I've read cover to cover multiple times, but a couple of the regrets or regrets are what you would think. Like I wish I hadn't spent so much time working. I wish I had lived a life more true to myself. But one of the regrets is I wish I had stayed in touch with the people I care about.

Because often in life we just get so busy and we get distracted and we get caught up in our day to day and in our routine and getting the to do list done. just never seems to be enough hours in the day to get it all done. So there certainly doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to stay connected with the people that we care about. But that ends up being a pretty major regret at the end of people's lives. And so we want to be very conscious of that and think about the people in your life, whether it be family, friends, that maybe you haven't

either been connected to in a while and if they're far apart, I mean, it could be as simple as a text or maybe write a letter or send a card or an email, but just make the connection to nurture the relationship and then go a step further, whether it is someone who you haven't connected with in a while, or maybe it's someone that you do connect with regularly. When's the last time you expressed gratitude for them?

You know, staying connected to people, requires a bit of effort. It requires a bit of our time and focus, but I promise you it pays off in dividends with the connection that we get to enjoy because we are, we are hard wired for connection. You know, it goes far further back than this, but in the late forties published in the early fifties, the work of Abraham Maslow, he created the human hierarchy of psychological needs. And at the base of the pyramid, there are the primal needs.

which would be things like air, air is good, air, water, food, and the next level up is safety. So these were always considered primal needs, but then the very next level up, the third level up, once we get past what were originally considered the primal needs is belonging, a sense of belonging and connection. And then Matthew Lieberman, more recently, still several years ago, but he wrote a book called Social, and he worked from Abraham Maslow's

Kimberly/terry (06:47.048)
initial work and he kind of challenged it a bit to say, know what, that need for belonging, that third level is also primal because there was a time that, you we lived in such tight knit tribes and communities that to be separated from your tribe meant certain death. Yeah. So plus there's of course that primal need for procreation and such. there really is a strong.

bit of research that supports the fact that we are indeed hardwired for connection as humans, as social beings. so there's obviously going to be benefit and, and Terry laid out beautifully the benefits that we get to accomplish within our wellbeing and our longevity and our fulfillment in life. And then why not shine a little light on someone else's day and let them know how much you appreciate them. And speaking of that, Terry, yeah. So reach out to those people.

And it makes, I appreciate you. I appreciate you. And we're talking about making that effort. You mentioned, you know, it takes a little bit, not even a lot, just a little bit of effort to do that. And so on Instagram or Facebook, just scrolling past the people that you're connected with is not enough. There's no effort in that. It's actually, like you said, reaching out, writing an email, writing a text, writing a letter, picking up the phone and calling that person. What? What?

doing that, taking this next step further. The next strategy is actually scheduling the time with the people that you care about most, your circle of friends. You know, we talked about in the last episode, in episode number 12, environmental wellbeing, and we gave, we provided just a lengthy list of different activities and things that you can do to get outside and actually be social, right? So I'm not going to go rehash that again, but definitely take a listen to that episode.

because there's some fun ideas and I'm sure that we've gotten plenty of other comments and recommendations and ideas from other people as well. But it's all there. But make that effort to reach out to the circle of friends. I'm actually, mentioned to you earlier off air that we, I'm going to Medieval Times for dinner and a show. So it's basically a show here in Orange County.

Kimberly/terry (09:02.754)
pretty close to Disneyland. Everyone knows where that's at. And, and the show basically is, of nights and princesses and, and, and horses and yeah, turkey legs. Yes. And potatoes and dinner and a show. It's going to be amazing going with a bunch of friends. but had to make the effort, had to pick up the phone and reach out and, and, and see if people are interested. You have an event tomorrow night. You reached out to me to see if I can go. have another event.

Yeah, yeah, I totally shut me down. He's like, dude, sorry sister. I'm Yeah. So there's a, I'm actually going to a masquerade ball tomorrow. know that sounds sexy. Hold your hats. I'm wearing a dress tomorrow. I know. I know. To which people in my class this morning said you own a dress. Yes. Yes, I do. A couple it's, happening. It's going down. Well,

Make sure you take lots of pictures. Can't wait to see. Yeah, I will for sure. It's going to be awesome. So schedule those activities with your circle of friends and go out and have a blast. Yeah. So you've got that, that tighter knit circle, but now what about becoming part of a broader social community, social and or professional? mean, even if it's a professional community, there's a social element. That's why it's called a community. It's people coming together who are potentially like potentially. Potentially. That's a new word. Or

Or potentially, potentially like minded, you know, generally communities form because people are like minded and they want to come together. have like interests and such. be it a professional community, like an association or a mastermind, something that you want to become a part of. It's a great way to challenge your intellectual wellbeing too, so that you can kind of broaden perspective because you are around other like-minded souls in the same area of interest when it comes to your work. But.

with regards to social wellbeing, you just have the opportunity to connect and create conversation around areas of passion. So it could be a professional network. could be, mean, online, could be a Facebook group and an area that you're passionate about. It could be a Facebook group for parents of small toddlers. Like there's a Facebook group for everything. You how they always say there's an app for that? I swear there's a Facebook group for everything.

Kimberly/terry (11:22.54)
as well as a meetup group. So if you don't have the meetup app yet, that is another great resource and we're not sponsored by meetup, but, you could find a local yet. That's right. Hey, meetup. What's up, call us. but you can find a hiking group. You can find a local women's business group or men's business group or just business group. You could find, a local knitting group probably.

And so there's lots of opportunity to connect with others online, to connect with others in person and, really expand your social connections beyond your closer net family and friends. Absolutely. And when you do that, you know, it's so great, you know, when you talked about, engaging, joining and engaging like a professional community, for example. what's great about that we talked about in one of the earlier episodes and the intellectual wellbeing episode,

where you kind of get connected with people adjacent to your industry or find areas of interest outside of your space or your profession or your specialty. This is where we can kind of tap into that as well. We're able to learn from these different people in a professional community, for example. If you join like a pro net, a provisor group and that work where you're,

connected with other business owners, doctors, attorneys, whatever have you, you can connect with those people, but also learn from them as well. So you're kind of tapping into both of those, you know, I guess pillars of the sexy six, sexy six, the beautiful thing. So we talked about, staying connected to those you care about those who are important to you, scheduling activities with your circle of friends to nurture those relationships.

becoming a part of an engaging a community, a broader community socially, and then joining and engaging in a professional community. And then the fifth tip is to be of service. You know, this is a big one. We didn't touch on this in emotional wellbeing, but this is a big one for emotional wellbeing too, because the best thing you can do when you're in your own crap, right? I don't know how else to say it in the moment, but when you're dealing with your own stuff,

Kimberly/terry (13:45.816)
Get out of you and go help somebody else. It is probably the fastest way that in shifting to gratitude are probably the two fastest ways to make a giant leap from feeling kind of negative and sad. Getting out of the funk for sure. But with regards to social wellbeing, just being of service. So find community organizations, maybe it's a local church or interest group.

where you can be a part of the community that is of service in some way, or form. Yeah. think that, that is, that's huge. That should have been like number one. That's a big one. Right? You know, there's a saying that says when you help enough people get what they want, whatever it is, we help enough people get what they want. You will by nature, by the law of the universe, you will get what you want, but it's through, you know, assisting other folks who need it most. And so, it always comes back like tenfold.

Yeah. And what's that mother Teresa quote I love so much. is to have no, no human cross your path and not leave better somehow better. don't know. It's something like that. What is that quote? Someone Google it and put it in like the comments or text us or email us. But it is something about leave, leave no human or space without making them better. That works.

Yeah, that works. Yeah, let's go with something like that. Listen, at the very least, the idea is there. The principle is there and it's just putting into practice. Yeah. Right. Can I share something about hugs? Please. something that you, you, well, you may or may not know about me. I am a hugger and like you could be a stranger on the street. If you're walking toward me and it looks like you're raising your, I'm coming in.

Watch out now. I will invade your personal space. Actually, especially since the pandemic, I've tried to be more aware and not be so much like that because I did learn that not everybody wants a hug. Not everybody wants a hug. How dare they? I know. Right? I know. And then there's this little voice in my head that's like, but I can make them become a hugger. They will love it. I will change them. I will change them. I will make them love me. No.

Kimberly/terry (16:04.972)
But Virginia Satir, who is a psychotherapist and psychologist, she actually coined this quote that it takes four hugs a day for survival. Eight hugs a day for maintenance and 12 hugs a day for growth. Ooh, I got hugs. They're multiplying. Right. And I'm losing control. love it. So.

Have you gotten your hugs today? You know what schedule it schedule it get at least four because you need to survive. You can want to survive. You got to schedule at least four. Put it on your, your, your phone, the alarm set alarms, set appointments with yourself. But 12 is how, what do you get when you do 12 growth growth? I'm going for 12. I go every day. Yeah. That's almost like a hug and hour while I'm awake every 90 minutes. We can totally do it.

Are these all different people? No, it can be from the same person. can be. You could stand in front of someone and hug them 12 times. Boom. Done. mean, people might stare, but I'm about to grow. Get over here. need a hug. want to grow. got one more hug to go today. Get over here now. I need you. Maybe not so aggressively. Get over here now. So what about pets? Like

Do they have to pet, you hug them or do they have to hug you back to count? Good question. I do believe that Virginia Sawtier's work was based on human to human connection. Okay. because of the idea of hugging back and developing oxytocin and such, but that's just half of it. are not wrong. You are not wrong. I'm a get hugged. That's all I know. We're going to ask you to hug people. Yeah. and if you're like me where you're just like a hugger, I,

maybe ask permission first. I've learned to do that when someone looks like they might not be up for it. When someone looks at me like, what you talking about Willis? Can I give you a hug? my gosh. So remember I told you we got a TV at Costco. told you this recently, I think it was the last episode. If you want to catch that because you totally want to know about me buying a new TV at Costco. anyway, the first one was no good.

Kimberly/terry (18:25.942)
Like we plugged it in, got, after all that, we got out of the box and plugged in and just power cycles. And we took it back. And at first, like they didn't want to take it back. And then we there for like 45 minutes. And finally the woman came back. She's like, yeah, we're going to return it and refund you. And it was just such a relief. And she was a very like kind of, you know, stoic matter of fact, very matter of fact, very business doing her job. And I'm in that moment, I'm thinking, my gosh, like we're, we're going to be able to refund the TV, turn right around, go buy another one, Costco. love you, blah, blah,

But then when they were like, no, I was like, okay, Costco, hate you. And you know, I'm never going to shop here again. And so there's all these emotions. And so she finally comes back and she's like, yeah, we're to take it back and give you a refund. And I felt so much relief that I looked at her and I'm like, can I hug you? And she seriously froze and gave me the strangest look, like, like literally started backing away. And she's like, I.

I mean, I guess so. So she gave me one of the same kind of hug my 12 year old son gives me. The side hug. gave me a little side shoulder hug. was the hilarious moment of the day. Most hilarious moment of the day. So we need to know. So this is your homework. Let us know in the comments, if you're on YouTube or just, you know, message us. Let us know if you're a side hugger or a full body hugger. I am a full body head.

to toe. you'll take it. Wow. So you'll only need six hugs from Kimberly in order to experience growth. Cause you get the arms and the legs. I'm coming across really in an interesting light on this particular episode. love love it. Listen, we are just keeping it real. I'm a very affectionate person. Just keeping it real. Nothing wrong with that. We need more affection in this world. There's too many people who are just boring.

Well, the moral of the story is this. If you see me on the street or anywhere and you are in need of a hug, know where to it. Just imagine I'm wearing a sign or one of those t-shirts or whatever. says free hugs and come get it. There you go. got you. There's the invitation everyone. So make sure you redeem that invitation before it expires. Coupons. Run out of inventory. She will never run out. Nope.

Kimberly/terry (20:51.752)
I get more every day. So that is the sixth pillar in the sexy six, a well-being. can you believe it? So important, such important stuff. The sixth one of the sexy six. Wow, say that five times fast. Social well-being is the sixth one of the sexy six. Got it. We got it. Nailed it. So.

So we covered it. Hopefully you got all the benefits. Now you're going to be, now that you have the strategies, now you're going to be able to benefit from all of, you know, the social wellbeing, right? Definitely. So let us know how goes for you. And if you know someone who can also benefit from this information, please do forward a link to the podcast, let people know about what we're sharing here. We would so appreciate it. Yeah. Including free hugs. Including the free hugs. Just show them my picture and say, if you ever see this girl. There we go.

I love it. So that wraps up this episode and we as always, we're so thankful for you taking time out of your busy, busy schedule. we can't wait to hear your feedback, your comments, your requests and what else Kimberly? Yeah, just follow along download. got, we are just kind of counting the downloads and appreciating every single one because it means that you care enough to, to make us part of your, your life. Yeah. experience really appreciate it.

Very much for sure. So that wraps us for today. And until next time, you're going to want to make sure that you tune in to the next episode, episode number 14. And until then, we encourage you to make it a great day. And why Kimberly? Cause it is a great day to have. Yes, it is.