Episode 81: Speak Anyway: On Trolls, Creation and Finding Peace Online

In this episode we reflect on what it actually feels like to use your voice online. The fear that comes before you post something real. What happens when you're met with hostility instead of dialogue. And what that hostility usually says about the person delivering it,rather than the person receiving it.

But this isn't really about trolls.

It's about the bigger question underneath: are we creating, or are we consuming? 

This episode is about speaking anyway, even when it's uncomfortable. On choosing creation over consumption not perfectly, but intentionally.

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You can check out our respective websites and social media here:

Becky:

www.instagram.com/therosealmanac

www.therosealmanac.com

Laura:

www.soulsanctuarystudios.com

www.lauraclaytonwellness.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So welcome back to the podcast today. We're gonna have a conversation about the online space today, the internet, social media, and all those type of things. And I guess what's led to me wanting to have this conversation. I mean, if you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen me post about this during the week. But I made a reel about how kind of God being portrayed as you know, this male control mechanism has damaged society and specifically impacted women. And then I had a like actually that reel didn't do very well, as some of them don't, you know, it's all just uh yeah, I don't get too hung up on all of that. But I had this comment anyway off this man who he did make some points, but it was like basically a really rude comment on my reel. And ever since I kind of put myself on social media, which I avoided for a really long time, and it was only after I did my yoga teacher training and felt like I needed to like have more of an online presence that I even went on there. Like I've always had not loads of it, but trolling and people who just want to like make stupid points and you know clearly that I'm triggering. And I do see it as like part of my journey, actually, because it's really healing, even though it's like can be really horrible when people say things about you, and when we think about like witch wounding and speaking out, and women using their voice who would have been killed for that, you know. This lives whether we believe in past lives, you know, whether I have had some kind of specific life like that, and I'm you know, I'm not getting hung up on that. But the point is, probably somewhere in my lineage, somebody would have been harmed for using their voice in probably all of our lineages, somewhere along the line, and that lives in our DNA, and we're here to overcome that, right? If we think about we want an equal world, then women finding their voices is an important part of that. So yeah, I just wanted to come on and speak into that a bit really, because it can be scary being online sometimes. And I feel I find that the people who troll me or like send me messages, or you know, and also you get like the sleazy men who just want to message you and stuff like that. Uh, it's always the people who like have a faceless account, maybe they're bots, I don't know, or they don't create anything themselves and they just want to sort of throw stones on your on what you're building. So, yeah, that's been my experience recently.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Yeah, and I've I find it like I guess hard to hear when you say that you know you get trolling because I don't know what it is, maybe I get protective or just angry or something. I just I think you're so brave with what you share, and I think like you're right, if they don't have the courage to share something themselves, then you you it shouldn't be allowed like as a setup on you know social media that people who are not posting should absolutely not be able to comment on like other people's posts because yeah, I mean, regardless of whether they're saying something you agree or not agree with, I mean, it being rude and derogatory is obviously something that they social media just need to get a handle on, it's ridiculous. But just the fact that yeah, they're not creating anything themselves is just they're hiding, aren't they? And I think that's I mean, when you when you talk about like being seen and getting your voice out there, like it is something when you say it's hard, it's definitely something I can resonate with. Like, I have a really weird relationship with social media. I try and keep it very I don't know, guess like light. And that's I think that's only because I think it's an energy thing for me. Yeah, I think I don't feel at the moment that I have capacity to get fully involved in that world, and so I don't, and I just post things that I want to look back on with my family and like lovely places that I've been and like funny things that the kids do, and then I love like looking through like alternative living. I think I find that really inspiring. So, like, there's a lot on my feed at the moment about like virgin farmers, so like people have never been farmers before. Yeah, they love it.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Some of that, I love it too.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Yeah, me too. I just think it's so inspiring, and like I just do ignore a lot of the nonsense, and I don't engage with any of the like anger, the politics, like that's just and that is not me like feeling like I'm high and mighty. I'm actually hoping at some stage I have more capacity to like engage in that way, but but but right now I don't. But I think, yeah, it's one of those things, isn't it? Like, I with social media, if you're being like you always say, if you're being pulled towards something or pushed away from it, like I really listen to that, and at the moment, like I've really resist it. I mean, I haven't posted on our teacher training account, is not something to boast about. Might it might be like six months, and I guess I'm very lucky that like I've maybe I don't need to in the sense that a lot of our like you know, our people come from word of mouth and like the studio and all of that stuff, and at some point I will absolutely need to do that, but I feel like I'm just looking for peace. I just want peace at the moment. I just want things to be peaceful, and I cannot like poke any form of bear that's gonna make my life like any more hectic than it is, and I think yeah, it will be a it will be quite a nice place for me to be when I go like actually, like I have the capacity to be able to engage in that, but right now I don't, but I I can't imagine like being a person that just goes out there to to troll. I don't I cannot get my head around that at all.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

It's crazy, isn't it? You know, especially like when you're creating, you know, you're putting it's always uncertain what you're creating. You like you have an idea and you have to make it into something that hope hopefully other people are gonna relate to. And then it requires you to do that without any guarantee, people are gonna like what they see. Sometimes you haven't thought things like all the way through. Uh you know, there's all kinds of stuff with that. Whereas I think like if you're just and I'm not kind of criticizing people who just go on to like look and get ideas, because I do that as well. But consuming content is easy, it's friction, there's no friction, there's no risk with it. Like you can take in all of these ideas, other people's ideas, other people's creativity, other people's risks, and not be taking it yourself. And I think that's fine if like you're you know you're showing up in a conscious way on on social media, and maybe you're like supporting people and being positive, but I think there are some people who just go on there to like get triggered, pick an argument to like be superior to other people. There are literally people that just go on there to to do that, you know. And it's part of being on the platform, it's part of being putting yourself out there is yeah, like you see so much of the unhealed wounds in people. Yeah. Um so yeah, so I feel like it, you know, the fact that it happens to me and my account's not massive or anything, I think is it's definitely something I'm meant to move through because I like the first few times it ever happened, like it took me so long to get over it, and then I'd be like, really, I wouldn't post, or like what I post will be really safe, and now you know, I think it's partly because I'm writing now and like the work that I'm doing. It it is gonna challenge people's belief systems. I think there's a certain amount of having to get comfortable with that, so I do feel like it's a bit like I always trust, you know, the universe and trust what is happening is for a reason. So I think it's like this little always every time. I think I handle it a bit better than the time before, and it doesn't upset me or yeah, like have that impact on me for as long a time, you know? So I think for me it's definitely something I'm meant to be working through, and it's been really powerful for finding my voice and then getting criticized and then being like, okay, like how do I feel with that? How do I move forwards from it? What are the lessons in this? And I think it's made me like a stronger, have a stronger voice as a result of it. So actually I'm always grateful because in in the long term it makes me yeah, it makes me grow stronger.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

I'm I'm so grateful for your account. I think I mean you've taught me so much and like still are in the way that you post. And yeah, I mean, if other people don't like that, right, that's their stuff, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Yeah, I think exactly that. Like everyone is free to create anything they want to create. Like, if you don't agree with something you've seen, okay, then like why don't you go and make a post then that is puts your point of view across, you know, and put yourself out there rather than like just having a go at someone else. And you know, I think we're at a time as well there's just such polarisation in our world with everything that's going on, and of course, social media is just like a window into that as well. And I think also if you believe in free speech, which I believe in free speech, then you have to you have to take the rough with the smooth, I think. But yeah, I think you know, I see some of my clients and people that I work with and they're really scared of using their voices, but it can be a huge initiation into growing your voice, learning what your own voice actually sounds like instead of you know, like the small version of it or the conditioned version of it that maybe you don't you don't speak out with very often. So I think it can be really powerful for that. But then I also like one day I think like I probably just come off it altogether and not and like you said, like just enjoy the peace. But I think there are such benefits as well from social media, like some of my what I would say now are like very close friends I've sort of met via social media and then maybe engaged in their programs and their work and they've become friends. Or one of the things as well is like creating community, you know, where I live now. Like there are other people who are let's say local, you know, and they're doing work that is similar to mine or doing things that inspire me, and that has encouraged us to like connect on a real life basis. So I think that's a has been such a beautiful thing to come out of social media for me.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

It really is the rough with the smooth, isn't it? But I you're so right. And just I think if it for me, it's like it's got to be real, hasn't it? If you're working on something at the moment which you feel compelled to speak out about, you know, you need to speak out about it. And like if you've got the cast capacity to do that, then brilliant. And yeah, it's that thick skin piece, isn't it? Like we talk about teacher training, like it's tough, it's tough. Any sort of feedback when you're teaching yoga, you know, you've got like an automotive process set up where after every class, it's like, what did you think of that class? And you're always gonna get some people that are like, oh, it's best class ever, and other people they're like, mmm, it's a bit fast, or it's a bit slow, or the music was a bit loud, or the incense was made me cough, or like you know, you're always gonna get feedback, and I think it's so important that that we get yeah, thick skin enough to like take that those opinions on as interesting and then leave the bits that are just unhelpful or their stuff, and it's such a process, isn't it? But I think when that's done publicly online and it's something that you care so passionately about, it's really hard to just like oh take or leave because you know the trolls don't go out there to do it, you know, in a way that's kind of kind. Our hymns are they go out to you know to stick a knife in a wound and so it's gonna hurt more.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

So yeah, yeah. So yeah, it's interesting though, because someone I I know always says, you know, if your argument or what you're saying, if you can't face the challenge of somebody saying the opposite of that, then like it doesn't actually stand up. So I think I think challenge and like healthy discourse is really important. But yeah, I think it needs to be done in like a nice, respectful way. There's nothing wrong with challenging things, but yeah, if you're just going out there to like tear other people down, then yeah, that it's a very different energy, and you can normally sense that anyway. I think, you know, if you ever dive into the comments of like maybe a post that's controversial, you can totally pick up on that, the people that are maybe challenging but in a respectful way, and the people who are there just to like kick off and have an argument, it's it's very different, isn't it? And I think you know, yeah, it's quite unhinged, isn't it? When you're scrolling and there's just some crazy stuff, and then there's some beautiful stuff about I'm really interested in yeah, there's like gardening stuff and you know, like herbology stuff and things like that that just feel really wholesome to consume. Like I've been really interested in following that kind of content recently.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah, there is some such beautiful stuff, but you're right. I always think like however respectful someone else is to another is how much they are respected, you know? Absolutely, yeah. And like if I see someone being disrespectful, I have no respect for them. And it's so ironic, isn't it? It's like I just roll my eyes on, well, you're a ridiculous person. You know the irony of that, but yeah, no, there is some wonderful stuff online. I'll tell you what, I was gonna I've got a photo actually, I'll send it to you. This is so tragic what I do at the moment. So I'm obsessed with Spring Watch. Like I love wildlife so much, and I'm very into my Merlin bird app, really into birds these days. I mean, god, I say middle aged and I love it. And so I was watching Spring Watch last night, and obviously they do the live streams, don't they? It's all the birds in the nest. Well, what I do is I I get a live stream up, I keep it on my laptop, and I'll just watch a bird in a nest whilst I'm doing my work. What kind of weirdo am I these days? So yeah, I mean I love that. It's old for that. It's so beautiful. Like, honestly, guys, if you haven't tried it, get on to live stream on on a spring watch and just keep a lovely little live stream of a bird feeding the chicks in the nest, and the rain comes down and it drips off the feathers, and honestly, it changes your working day. I can I can handle hard tell you that.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

I think it just brings you back to like nature and the beauty of this planet and like it, like that bird, like a little miracle in its nest, and yeah, it's just it's incredible, it's incredible, but it's also here we go, there's another episode on Spring Watch.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

But like last night's episode, there was a wasp, right, which stings a ladybird and makes the ladybird, like they were calling it like a zombie babysitter because it basically paralyses it, and then this wasp, like larvae comes out, the the ladybird, and like grows into wasp. It's obviously this this ladybird is completely paralysed. Wasp flies off, and you're like, Oh my god, there is also like evil in the world, like wasp, that it was evil what it did to that ladybird, but then the ladybird recovers like 30 days later. I mean, incredible, and it's all like I just think it's such a mirror for life. Like, there is bad, there is good, it's happening all the time. Us humans can get so attached to like the meaning and rest about it all, and then you're just like, Do you know what? Like, this is happening in nature all the time. But look at the cuckoo. The cuckoo literally goes into a nest, flings out all the other eggs, and then pretends to be a baby and makes the parents feed it as though it's their baby. I mean, is there any more deception in the world? And then it's like absolutely enormous and flies off, and then the parents are left with no babies. I mean, it's horrendous. But like, for me, it's just a symbol of like, yeah, this stuff in life happens, and like, you know, things live and they die, and then it's just perspective that we can't get too caught up in our humanness because we're only an animal, really.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Well, yeah, and a in a lot of ways, and I think yeah, always observing those things in nature can teach us just so much about being human, can't they? Yeah, springwatch is the way forward. Never mind the trolls, guys. Get off Instagram Springwatch. Okay, that's that's this evening's viewing is Spring Watch. You'll love it.