Building Unshakeable Self-Trust with Dr. Tuesday Watts-Overall

Summary

Dr. Tuesday Watts-Overall joins Hila and Caroline for a conversation exploring the complexities of perfectionism in motherhood, focusing on themes such as navigating uncertainty and the importance of self-trust in pregnancy and early motherhood. The speakers discuss how these elements intertwine to affect personal growth and parenting experiences in this phase of life.

Takeaways

• Perfectionism can intensify after becoming a mother.
• Self-trust is crucial for navigating parenting challenges.
• Understanding one's own needs is essential for emotional well-being during the perinatal period

What’s covered in this episode:

00:40 -  Meet Dr. Tuesday and learn about self-trust and perfectionism
06:34 - The journey from perfectionism to self-trust
12:21 - Understanding perfectionism in motherhood
19:03 - Navigating the external expectations
25:19 - Building self-trust and finding connection over perfection
32:25 - Practical tips to cultivate self-trust

Where can you find Dr. Tuesday:

• Instagram
• Website

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Disclaimer: Information shared in this podcast is for educational & entertainment purposes only. It is not therapy nor a replacement for therapy, nor is it medical advice. If you need support, please seek mental health care from a licensed professional in your jurisdiction.

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Transcript

Hila (00:40)

Hi and welcome to The Moms Are Alright. I'm Dr. Hila Sachs.

Caroline (00:45)

and I'm Dr. Caroline Dickens.

Hila (00:47)

And we are so excited and honored to be hosting Dr. Tuesday What's Overall to talk about letting go of perfectionism and cultivating self -trust in today's episode.

Caroline (01:00)

Dr. Tuesday is a psychology academic turned coach who was on a mission to help expectant and new mothers turn down the volume on all of the what -ifs and shoulds that come along with pregnancy, birth, and motherhood to make room for more ease and joy in their experiences. This mission is fueled by her own journey as a mom of three, which saw her go from an overthinking high achieving perfectionist who just wanted to get it all right to someone who was able to move and flex with the unpredictable and imperfect reality of motherhood.

Dr. Tuesday uses a blend of her personal experiences and professional insights to help mothers navigate their own unique paths to parenthood with self -trust, compassion, and resilience.

Hila (01:36)

Welcome Dr. Tuesday and thank you so much for being here. To kick us off, we'd love to hear a little bit more from you about who you are and what drew you to this line of work.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (01:48)

Thank you both so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and to be talking about something I'm super passionate about,

So my journey into this work kind of began about over five years ago when I had my first baby. I was that high achieving, overthinking perfectionist who at the time was

Hila (02:12)

Thank

Tuesday Watts-Overall (02:13)

doing quite well in a very high pressure achievement oriented environment as a psychology academic. I was doing quite well in a space like that. And, you know, naturally I kind of took that tendency with me into pregnancy, birth even, and new motherhood in my first time around and kind of unsurprisingly crashed and burnt out really, really fast.

as a new mum, not even three months into my first experience because of the weight of the pressure that the perfectionism had on me that I was kind of crumbling underneath and...

It was only really when I crashed and burned severely that I kind of took a step back and really reevaluated how I was doing things, why I was doing things the way I was doing them. it was a really hard look in the mirror and a real deep questioning of who I was and why I was the way I was. It was scary to begin with, but I, I love

and over time that the more I overcame that process of overthinking which you can get really stuck in when you're a perfectionist and the kind of achievement oriented mindset that just doesn't work, it just doesn't work in motherhood. The more I stripped that away and stepped away from it and learnt it the more I could actually enjoy what I was experiencing, the more I could give to what I was experiencing and

It was only really when I had my second baby and mastered some of the art of letting go because there's a big piece of surrender that perfectionists find really hard to do, to let go of the need to control everything and I'd mastered the art of that to an extent with my second baby.

Hila (04:05)

Mm

Tuesday Watts-Overall (04:12)

and I just really kind of relished that experience so much more than I did the first time around, which kind of felt like an out -of -body experience when I look back at that first time. And it was that that really drew me into like birth work in general, Because I thought that, you know, This is really important stuff for anyone who feels scared at the prospect of letting go and being

out of control when it comes to giving birth, when it comes to being a new mum, I could see myself really helping someone navigate that transition to

moving through their experiences with that surrender mindset. So I started in kind of birth coaching and then it's only really been in the last year and a bit with my third pregnancy that I kind of made a huge leap, personal leap and transition into...

building and living from a place of complete self -trust, I was still doing a lot of overthinking. I was still working really hard mentally a lot of the time to over -prepare, over -research, like outsource a lot of my decision -making. I was still doing a lot of

that really

And I just, made this vow to myself, that my third pregnancy was gonna be a journey to self -trust. I was gonna take huge leaps towards really tuning in with myself in a way that I had never done before. Like stop outsourcing, stop overthinking, just drill down to what is really important to you and just lead yourself through it.

Like that doesn't mean you're gonna control all the pieces and know how it's all gonna go but if you trust yourself you're gonna be okay. It doesn't matter. It actually doesn't matter what happens like beyond your control. If you can trust yourself you're gonna be okay. So I spent a lot of my third pregnancy kind of stripping away a lot of the outsourcing overthinking and I had a completely self -led pregnancy and birth and then

Postpartum period and it was a real I call it my activator. It really activated like a deep deep deep self -trust for me and That is now what I am taking other mums on that kind of journey towards self -trust

comes with a lot of noise a lot of like what ifs should you should be doing this you need to do it that way like this is the right way to do it when actually your way is always going to be the right way but you need to be able to tune in with what that is and so that's kind of what I help new and expectant mums do

Hila (06:55)

sounds so incredibly freeing to be able to build enough unshakable self -trust to then tolerate all the uncertainty that does come with being pregnant and giving birth and then being a new mom after. What a gift to give yourself and to then give others.

Caroline (06:58)

Mm -hmm.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (07:10)

It is... yeah, I like that word actually, tolerate it, because...

Like five years ago, I just couldn't tolerate it. That was basically the word I couldn't tolerate the uncertainty the unknowns My mind is like constantly running hot with what if this happens? What if that happens? what if I get this wrong? What if I fail? it's like I couldn't tolerate I couldn't tolerate the uncertainty But I'm now in this place where I'm so comfortable in it. I don't know what

week will bring but I'm comfortable knowing that I'll be okay because I know myself and I trust myself above anyone else I don't need to turn outward when I'm navigating uncertainty I turn inward

Hila (07:43)

You

video.

Caroline (07:57)

I resonate with so much of what you have shared about your journey too, as I have one child who's 20 months old now, and it really took a long time to get to a point where I felt like I don't need to reference what everyone else is doing to make my own decisions. I can actually kind of look at my own values and my own belief systems and allow that to kind of guide the choices that I'm making. But it's really, really hard to do when there are just so many external expectations out there and there's so much noise coming

from parents, from the in -laws, and all of the books and the courses and this and that. And it's really, really hard to cut through that. we're already talking a lot about this using the word perfectionism. And so I'm curious here if, kind of before we get into

the weeds of that a little bit more, what does that even mean? What are we even talking about when we when we talk about perfectionism?

Tuesday Watts-Overall (08:45)

So perfectionism to me is really that need to do things to a ridiculously high standard. Like an unrealistically high standard. not just meet that standard, but look the part. Look like you have everything under control. You've got it all in the bag whilst you do it. You look like you're not questioning yourself. You're not like doubting every single move you make.

and as a new mum that looks like setting unrealistic expectations and standards but there can also be a deeper constant self -criticism that's running in the background like you're doing this wrong you're not meeting this standard you're not doing this the right way

Caroline (09:27)

you

Tuesday Watts-Overall (09:29)

and kind of passing judgment on where you're falling short all of the time and because you've got this kind of constant inner critic berating you all the time you're kind of afraid of failing but afraid of failing in front of other people

and as a new mum we know judgment comes at us in every domain from every angle you can't do you can't do anything the right way you can't give birth the right way you can't feed or you know not feed the right way it's endless it's endless you have this judgment coming at you from all

angles but you're afraid of being judged as a perfectionist so you really want to get this right you really want to try and choose the path of least judgment you want to meet the highest possible goal or standard or you know for whatever that is but also as a perfectionist you tend to be quite controlling and that kind of ties in

with that fear of judgement because you're constantly trying to control outcomes, control the way that other people see you, which is impossible to do because you can't control someone else, but you're trying to have that Instagram, that Instagram reality. If there is such a thing, you're trying to like

Hila (10:39)

Thank

Caroline (10:44)

Hmm.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (10:49)

live up to this ideal. So there is a lot of comparison as well going on and you can get really stuck in these negative cycles of comparison which is exhausting. When you're trying to learn how to look after a new baby, heal and recover after birth, you're then trying to meet these standards because you've compared yourself to someone's

best bits on Instagram, they're curated realities. You think, that's the standard, that's what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm not meeting that standard so I'm failing. And then the inner critic starts up again, like why can't you get this right? It's a very

exhausting and kind of never -ending cycle as a perfectionist and it's not fun as a new mom it's just it adds another layer that is so unnecessary

Caroline (11:37)

Mm

Totally, and I love this piece around kind of the all or nothing, like really rigid thinking that comes with this too, where if you're not perfect, then you're failing. There's no room for like, I'm doing okay, I'm doing a pretty good job. It's one or the other.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (11:59)

Yeah, exactly that. It's so inflexible. Like that's a huge thing. It's so black or white right or wrong, good or bad. You're very, very caught in that. There's no new, there's no room for nuance, no room for shades of gray. And it's, it's very difficult, but I see, it's not just my own experience. I see so many moms striving for this.

Hila (12:01)

totally.

Mm -hmm.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (12:22)

bar that honestly doesn't exist, not in reality anyway.

Hila (12:28)

you know, I'm curious about the clients that you see. For those that have had unhealthy perfectionistic tendencies prior to starting their motherhood journey, I wonder if it gets like turned up once you become a mother because then all of a sudden,

you are primed to protect this sweet little thing that you love more than anything in the world. I'm curious if that kind of changed for you or if you see it changing for the people that you work with.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (12:57)

Definitely. like you say, are primed to protect and take care of this new baby. Like biologically, you are designed for this. And so from a kind of survival point of view, you do want to get this right. You do want to enhance the survival chances of this baby. So your inner critic is going to come down really

hard on you when it thinks that you're deviating or falling short somehow So I definitely experienced that. was like, who is this? What is this voice? Like I've never noticed it before. You know, I almost wore my perfectionist label like a badge of honor, honestly, prior to becoming a mum because it was

Caroline (13:38)

Hmm.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (13:40)

I'm a perfectionist. I set a goal, I meet the goal. That's it. I do what I set out to do. And that perfectionist tendency keeps me on that track. I do things to a high standard and actually I'm really proud of that. I'm really proud. And it's the whole reason I ended up with a PhD in psychology because I couldn't just have an undergraduate degree. I had to complete the system. I had to complete the system because that's the perfectionist.

Hila (14:04)

Hahaha.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (14:11)

in me wanting to just go for the highest goal all the time go for the highest goal and do whatever it takes to get there work that doesn't work when you become a mum or even when you're pregnant like I still was taking that into pregnancy with me like setting really high expectations around how I was supposed to feel like really enjoy this it's meant to be a really amazing time of your life I just

found it really hard and unenjoyable for the most part. I think that was where that perfectionism, I really started to notice it, was when I was like, my reality is not meeting the standard or expectations. Whereas previously I could kind of force myself up to that standard and be okay, but it wasn't working.

Hila (15:01)

Thank you.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (15:02)

It just wasn't working and I see it in clients as well. You notice it or you see it in a new light and it's kind of scary

Hila (15:10)

you realize that it wasn't as productive to rely on that perfectionism to achieve your goals or your outcomes that that was actually causing more problems.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (15:19)

Yeah, exactly that.

it, you know, at certain points, like I say, it's celebrated. Like so many people celebrate that perfectionism in different domains. Like if you're a high achieving, like me, high achieving academic, That works really well. You have like a keen eye for detail and you make sure that everything's done by the book and everything's right and everything is curated really well. and you deliver a high standard all the time.

but you can't do that when you're tired when you're growing another human being when you're nurturing another human being like it just doesn't work

Caroline (15:57)

And I think that distinction feels really important where it can serve a really helpful function for most people who have kind of struggled with this through their lifetime. Probably it served them really well in many ways and that's why it's so hard to take that step to disentangle those processes because we know like I am where I am because this is the way I've done it. But in motherhood, there's...

you know, there's no report card, there's no achievements, there's no tangible thing to look at to say like, yes, I'm doing a good job. There's just other people's expectations. And that is such a murky territory. When we're using that as our benchmark. So I love that kind of your approach, it sounds like to navigating perfectionism is turning inward and cultivating that self trust and really using just like your own, I don't know worldview as your

Tuesday Watts-Overall (16:34)

Yeah.

Caroline (16:46)

kind of system for making sense of how you're making those decisions versus all of the external shoulds and guidelines out there.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (16:53)

I especially when it comes to this kind of perinatal period, this is like the biggest test of uncertainty, the biggest...

kind of deepest challenge when it comes to navigating the unknowns, because you really don't know how it's going to go. But also the things you hear, the volume on all of the what ifs and shoulds and like, do this, do it that way, do it this way. The volume on all of that is turned all the way up in this period of the great unknown.

it's really hard to navigate that noise. You can get really lost in it. And I got so lost, so lost in that noise. Like, I don't really know what I want because this person says that this is the best way to do it. And you know, that person says I should be doing this. like you latch on to elements

and it's really hard to hear your own voice, to hear your own thoughts in all of that. It just, it becomes completely lost. So, so much of what I do is helping people just turn the volume down on that noise so they can just get quiet with themselves for a bit, really tune in to what they want and then plot a way forward from there and like whilst managing the noise that we can't really do anything about. That's another

piece like you can't control the noise when it comes to pregnancy and beyond it's there it's not going anywhere either like social media is here to stay and it just amplifies it amplifies all the noise the good and the bad right but it really amplifies all the noise and that's beyond your control

but you can tune into yourself, you can turn into yourself and that's where you have control and I really try and enhance that perspective for clients, like the ease in which they can turn inward when you know they're navigating a really noisy territory, it's just going to be noisy I think that's just the reality.

of it.

Hila (19:05)

I know that it would take many, many more hours in this podcast to cover, but how do you help moms and pregnant individuals let go of the noise, right? If you can't control it, what, how do you kind of guide them through it

Tuesday Watts-Overall (19:09)

Yeah.

So to begin with, I start with their expectations because this is our like compass. This for me, my expectations were my kind of doorway into my perfectionism. I could see the expectations didn't make sense or I couldn't understand why they were so high. Like I was trying to meet them, meet them, meet them and I was like, where are these actually coming from? It's not me. So I always start with the expectations.

Like, let's say I've got a pregnant person,

I start with, okay, tell me just top of your head, a few words that you associate with birth or what are you expecting from birth? And they'll, they'll name things. okay, where does that idea come from for you? 90 % of the time it's like, well, it doesn't come from me. It comes from a story that I heard.

or something I've read about the research that tells me about this thing so that's what I want. I'm like okay so we can see that our expectations are these things that are kind of outside of us but we're very much being governed by and then it's a it's a case of like leaving the expectations where they are for a second and drilling into what do you want like what do you really want what do want to feel at the end of this thing like imagine you've got

you've got your baby, they've just been born, they're on your chest, you've given birth, don't worry about the how, how that happened, how that unfolded, what are you feeling, what do want to feel? And it's the same with new mums, you you're there with your newborn baby, imagine it's just you two at home, you're alone, you've got your newborn baby with you, you're snuggled in, maybe, maybe around you it's a bit messy, maybe there's a lot out of your control in your environment, how are you feeling? How do you want to feel?

And it's like working backwards from that a little bit. So when it comes to birth There is an educational piece to this as well. It's like, okay, we've identified what you want This is what that looks like in reality. Then we start getting into the research like okay You want X this kind of birth? What does that look like? Logistically speaking so that they can kind of fill in the gaps in their own mind because this is really important to

perfectionist as well. It's not like a case of completely winging it It's not like an all or nothing like you over prepare or you don't prepare at all. but it's about working in the flexibility to deal with life happening, birth happening the way it happens sometimes. And like, you know, for me, my, my third birth, my intention,

was to give birth at home completely unassisted. I had midwives present, hands off experience, totally me navigating this on my own, being behind the driver's wheel. I wanted to feel really like I had autonomy and like I had led myself through this experience without

being told again it was like an outsourcing thing I didn't want to outsource anymore I wanted to just tune in with what was happening with me in the moment and then go with that move with that in whatever way that required but I couldn't know if that's how it was gonna go I really couldn't so there was there was an educational piece required like okay what does a home birth actually look like like what's the reality not some ideal not some Instagram post what's the reality the logistics of

giving birth at home. Okay, what if that doesn't happen? What if I need to do this or that? What does that look like logistically? When it comes to life on the other side of birth, there is a lot of creating room for self -compassion, which we're not so good at as perfectionists.

like I was saying earlier, like that inner critic is so loud and becomes even louder once you're looking after another person. But creating just space between you and your thoughts, notice.

them. Like that's the first step is like notice the thought and then create some space between you and that thought

And really just kind of emphasizing connection to yourself and connection to the moment and connection with your baby and other people over perfection, over like trying to meet a standard or ideal. So there's lots of pieces to the puzzle it takes so much work because that perfectionism, like it sounds really surface level.

like I like to do things well but there is a lot to this beast there is so so many pieces to this thing so many kind of tentacles to the perfectionist beast it takes a multifaceted kind of approach to disarm it and it did for me it really did for me and that's what I try and help people do through my work and I like I'd like to do it from pregnancy because I think that

If you can really enhance your self trust in birth and in pregnancy, you're really going to be able to tune into that and disarm it when you face it in life after birth. Cause it will come up again, right? it's only natural. Like we're kind of programmed to compare, aren't we? And when we see something,

It's like a reflex to go, how do I measure up to that? My life looks different or whatever it is. But if you're in that self -trust mode, you can identify okay, that's their reality. That's not what I want, but great, let's move on kind of thing rather than getting stuck. Like I used to get so stuck in comparison and then you overthink everything that you're doing. why can't I do it this way or that way?

It's very complicated. That's it in a nutshell. Lots of different kind of angles.

Caroline (25:24)

Absolutely. I love that piece around connection over perfection. That's like so catchy and just so important getting into what's happening right now. Or the thing that I talk about with clients all the time is you're in what if can we get back to what is like, let's get into this moment and think about the choices that you can be making right now that feel aligned and consistent with your values and important in the life that you really want to be living, not the life you think you should be living

Which is, it's really hard to separate from those things. And there's so many different elements that come up with this. And I also love just kind of this like preparatory prevention based model that you have too, because I think the argument that I hear a lot from my own clients is, well, you you really can't prepare for it. Like it just happens and there's nothing you can do.

Hila (25:51)

You

Tuesday Watts-Overall (25:51)

Yeah.

So hard.

Caroline (26:14)

And I hear that, that there is kind of a learn by doing element to it. And there are so many ways we can kind of strengthen these processes ahead of time, where even when things don't go to plan or things are unexpected, we kind of have the tool set ready to go.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (26:27)

Yeah, and I think...

Hila (26:28)

So well said.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (26:29)

So much of it as well comes down to our nervous system capacity. And I think you get so, you're so rigid and so set on things going a certain way, the second it looks a bit different, you're just completely dysregulated and completely thrown off by the whole thing.

And that really for me applies very heavily when it comes to something like birth because it's like you really can't know how that's gonna go. No one could actually predict how that's gonna go. Yes, we know a lot about the way that birth works and yes, it's really important to know that but ultimately any number of things could happen and it could unfold any number of ways and if you can work in that kind of flexibility and

Hila (26:58)

Yep.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (27:15)

kind of expand that capacity to deal with the unknown and to really tend to yourself as that's unfolding. coming away from the what ifs and dealing with the what is. That for me sums up pregnancy and birth to a T because so many people race ahead because they want to be able to predict, they want to be able to plan and manage They want to be able

Hila (27:31)

Yeah.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (27:39)

to manage how it's going to go and you can't do that in this domain you just can't do it and actually the more you try and manage it the more unpredictable it all becomes so you're better off loosening your grip a bit that's not to say like winging it and just like what will be will be but expanding your capacity to deal with the unknowns

Caroline (28:01)

Totally, and I imagine that's where cultivating that self -trust is so useful too, because that helps in the moment, but it also helps you kind of feel like I can handle it, you know, whatever's gonna happen. Like I can trust future me to be there and sort that out, which, you know, I definitely did not feel that way as a brand new mom. I was like, I gotta have the structure. I need to know exactly what to do. But how freeing to be in a place where you just kind of know like, I got this.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (28:26)

Yeah, I would say that is a good word for it. It's very, very freeing.

not to say that I don't ever get caught in overthinking sometimes, of course I do, that's kind of life, but when it gets a bit noisy, I can just really drill down very fast. So, okay, what's happening? What do I need? How do I want to feel? How do I want this to go? I can get there so much quicker because I'm not floating around in the noise,

trying to grab hold of something that feels like it resonates but it doesn't really like I can come up for air a lot quicker from all of that than I used to be able to I'll always get there and I know I will and it's a really like you say freeing place to kind of live from generally speaking but yeah it's a process

Caroline (29:21)

Absolutely. Well, I know you kind of walked us through your framework. And of course, there's so much nuance and detail there that we can't kind of touch in this episode. So I'm wondering for listeners today who are like, how can I start putting this into action? Do you have one tip or one kind of top skill that you think is useful for people to kind of start experimenting with some of these approaches?

Tuesday Watts-Overall (29:29)

Yeah.

It really comes down to building self trust, but it's very hard to recognize the need for that when you're in the thick of it. And for me, like, I just couldn't see it until I had that crash and burn moment in my first postpartum period, what happened then was I had to get out of my own head. had to get out of my own head. I was so stuck and so caught in it that I couldn't

understand I couldn't see what was happening you're like caught on a hamster wheel you can't really see the bigger picture and you're just kind of like treading water and trying to keep your head above water because I was so in my head if they can start taking small steps to get out of their head for instance just like tune in with a gut instinct like

Don't give themselves the chance to go and Google and look on Instagram for what this person's doing or that person's doing but to create some space the way I did that was that I started going for a daily walk. I got rid of all of the shoulds

that I was engaging with in that first postpartum period. Like I was signed up to every baby class in my local area and it was honestly, my schedule was busier than when I was working. It was wild. I remember my brother texted me once. He was like, can I come over and see you in the baby? And I was like, I can't, I'm busy. Like I'm busy back to back with this class and that class and meeting these people. And when I had that crash and burn moment,

Hila (30:56)

Thank you.

Haha.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (31:18)

I everything. I literally stripped my schedule back. I created distance between myself and all of the things I thought I should be doing or had to be doing and really just made a commitment to myself that I would get outside. in nature where I could really gain that

perspective and see my god I'm doing all these things I actually hate I really didn't enjoy any of it it wasn't what I wanted for myself and like I could I could create that space between me and what I was doing and my thoughts and see I'm not enjoying this I actually don't enjoy any of this doing all these things I think I should be doing so I think

Hila (31:45)

Yeah.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (32:02)

Getting out of your own head or being able to create some space between yourself and the shoulds and supposed to's and the what -ifs is really the first baby step on on the road to building self -trust. But I think it's like a step you can't skip. You have to be able to see. It's like the awareness, isn't it? It's seeing that...

what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, how I'm living just doesn't line up with what I want for this. I don't want this for my life. Like, I need more joy. I need this to not feel like hard work all of the time. And then kind of going from there.

Hila (32:43)

really sounds like in your experience, you got out of other people's heads, right? And what they thought you should be doing. And then stepping into what your values are, which, I mean, it sounds like there was connection, right? Connection to your baby, to your brother and other family members, to nature, to yourself, and that kind of helped you.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (32:50)

Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

Hila (33:06)

quieten down everything enough to then get back in touch with that self -trust, unshakable self -trust.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (33:11)

Yeah.

completely and like one of my big values as well is ease. I just want to feel ease, in my life, at ease like with my children, at ease when I'm making decisions, at ease in the flow of life and I was just so far from ease in my life in general and yeah it was like taking a step back

from my life and seeing like there's no ease here this is hard work like this is exhaustion this isn't ease this is like overwhelm and so I feel really strongly about helping people get from that overwhelm to experience that ease because it really does it's so freeing like you said and it just creates this space where you can not only let more joy in but you can move like move and flex and flow and go

with it and just hear yourself. You can hear yourself when you're in that place of ease that you can't hear that when you're like grinding and on that hamster wheel and yeah so yeah you're right I did get out of other people's heads and like really tune in to what what I wanted which was a huge piece huge piece for me.

Caroline (34:25)

you

Yeah, it's such a breath of fresh air too, because I think what we see out there is frameworks for like, this is how you can do it. This is how you can introduce ease is by introducing more rigidity. And actually that creates so much more just struggle in the day to day. So I think having a space like yours where

you're really just kind of encouraging people to tune into what works for them and to kind of, I don't know, like give them permission to let go of all of that stuff. Like it's all just guidelines. You don't have to do it. There are no rules. Like you get to pick. I want to just like sigh with relief when I hear that because it's really hard when you're used to following all the steps and using the protocols to move towards that more kind of intuitive direction.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (35:19)

completely and I think like if you're a perfectionist you love a framework just give me the strategy just give me the like the steps and I'll do them I will perfect those steps but there is no ease in taking the steps there is no ease in framework and like for me a huge piece has been just learning to embrace the fullness of experiences which

which, like, I do it out loud on my Instagram and it's really important to me because when I was a first time mum I just wasn't seeing, I was seeing the light, was seeing the joy, I was seeing the, you know, insta -worthy moments but I wasn't seeing the challenge, I wasn't seeing the shade, and for me, my Instagram,

my online community is a space where I feel I can embrace and share and shine a light on all of it. Like the ups and the downs. That's not to be discouraging for, let's say an expectant mom who hasn't yet experienced the highs and lows of motherhood. I would never set out to discourage anyone, but it's just about embracing the fullness. And really there's just so much nuance and so much like

just uniqueness to each and everyone's range of experiences. You couldn't apply a framework to that. Like you couldn't summarize that and make it fit into a one size like cookie cutter approach. It just doesn't really work. And that's, that's kind of how my practice as a coach has developed as well.

it allows so much more room and is so much more flexible to kind of allow space for the uniqueness of each and every one's kind of journey and you know the context they're coming from and there's just so much at play but I love that about it I actually love that about it

Hila (37:18)

You know, I'm sitting here thinking as you're talking about your Instagram I'm sure all of our listeners are now thinking, well, where can I follow you? How can I learn more?

can you tell people where to find you?

Tuesday Watts-Overall (37:33)

Yeah, of course. So I'm on Instagram. My handle is at I am Dr Tuesday. And that's where you will find me not just sharing the kind of coachy insights, but also sharing my own reality, just really living through my own kind of imperfect version of reality out loud.

I actually recently launched a free 10 -day challenge to building unshakable self -trust, which I've had quite a few people run through and that's a really kind of easy way in to kind of get yourself started on the road to building self -trust. You can check out my new 10

challenge my kind of one -to -one offers and anything else that I've got kind of floating about but yeah that's that's the best place to find me.

Caroline (38:25)

thank you so much, Dr. Tuesday. It's been just such a pleasure. I am like about to go sign up for that 10 -day challenge right now because we all need the refresh. So thank you so much for your time. It's been such a pleasure.

Hila (38:27)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It really has.

Tuesday Watts-Overall (38:34)

Good.

Thank you. It's been such a joy. I've really enjoyed it. Thank you.