The Sex After Kids Podcast

The Real Reason Your Partner is Avoiding Sex (And Why It’s Not What You Think)

Sofia Ashley Season 1 Episode 35

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Ever found yourself thinking, “Why are they always avoiding sex?” Or maybe you’ve felt the sting of rejection and started to question your relationship, your desirability, or your skills in bed.

This episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast flips that narrative on its head.

We’re diving into the real reasons behind intimacy avoidance—especially after becoming parents. Spoiler: it’s not about being broken or unwanted. We’re talking about stress, nervous system overload, the orgasm gap, and how to rebuild connection without pressure or resentment.

💥 In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why the orgasm gap matters in long-term relationships
  • How stress and nervous system overwhelm quietly shut down desire, even when the love is strong
  • Why “doing it right” is more about emotional safety than sexual technique
  • The myth that desire has to come before sex (and what actually works instead)
  • Practical steps to shift the dynamic—even if your partner isn’t ready to talk about it


Whether you're the one wanting more sex or feeling shut down and unsure why—this is a judgment-free, insight-filled conversation for anyone navigating sex after kids.

📚 Places to get started on your own:

  • Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
  • Women's Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston
  • Shake Your Soul Song by Devi Ward
  • For Each Other by Lonnie Barbach
  • She Comes First by Ian Kerner
  • Becoming Clitorate by Dr. Lori Mintz


If you want to find passion and play more quickly than reading and hoping something sticks, then book a FREE Spark Session with me. We'll explore a  what’s really going on, where you’re feeling stuck, and how to bring playful, pressure-free intimacy back into your relationship over the next three months. I only have a few spaces open so book yours now.

BOOK HERE YOUR SPARK SESSION HERE