Fair Play, Real Life: How We Manage the Mental Load as a Couple

How do you actually share the mental load without constant fighting, resentment, or feeling like you’re doing it all?

This is part 3 of a 4-part series on the mental load — and today, we're getting practical.

I'm sharing how my partner and I used the Fair Play Method by Eve Rodsky to manage the mental load in our house — what worked, what didn't, and how we adapted it for real life with kids, neurodivergence, and wildly different nervous systems.

We talk about:

• Why Fair Play is not about 50/50 — and what to aim for instead
• What it actually means to "own" a task
• The mistake most couples make when they inventory chores
• How staying in your own lane can feel lighter than "helping"
• And how we started with just 5–10 daily grind cards

Plus, my honest take on the Fair Play book itself — when it's helpful, and when it might make things harder (especially if your partner is already feeling defensive).

This episode is about making the invisible visible — without turning your relationship into a negotiation table.

In the final episode of this series, we'll talk about the mental load of sex... and who carries responsibility for tending the relationship itself.