Making Sense of the Hard Bits of Parenting - Counting Your Spoons

She Snippets for She Speaks Podcast Series 3 

Episode Overview
Some people seem to have endless energy. Others don't. And some days, you wake up already running on empty—before you've even got out of bed.

In this snippet, Delyse Clayden introduces Spoon Theory—a framework developed by a woman living with lupus that has since helped countless people make sense of the unpredictable nature of energy and capacity. Whether you're navigating your own limits, supporting a child who can't yet articulate theirs, or simply trying to understand why some days cost more than others, this episode offers a gentle reframe: you can't give what you don't have.

This Episode
Delyse explains how Spoon Theory works and why it matters for families. We explore:

•       What Spoon Theory is—every day you wake up with a set number of 'spoons', and everything you do costs spoons

•       Why the same task can cost different amounts on different days—making breakfast might be one spoon today, three spoons tomorrow

•       The reality of invisible disabilities—fibromyalgia, chronic illness, and conditions others can't see

•       How adults learn to ration spoons (planning rest before and after demanding days), but children haven't yet

•       Why children show they're 'out of spoons' through behaviour rather than words

•       A reminder to be kind—to others and to ourselves—when the spoons just aren't there

Quotable Moments

"You can't give what you don't have." — Delyse Clayden

"If we've got no spoons, we've got no spoons. It's as simple as that." — Delyse Clayden

"They're not going to say 'I need time alone' or 'I need to rest.' They're usually just going to show it in inappropriate behaviours." — Delyse Clayden

"Maybe just being a little bit kind to each other about that." — Delyse Clayden

Resources Mentioned

•       Spoon Theory: Originally developed by Christine Miserandino in 2003 to explain living with lupus. Read the original essay 'The Spoon Theory' at butyoudontlooksick.com

•       Delyse Clayden — Disability Advocate

About Your Hosts
Professor Narelle Lemon is a researcher, educator, and passionate advocate for women's wellbeing based at Edith Cowan University in Perth. Creator of She Speaks and the Citizen Wellbeing Scientist project, Narelle has dedicated over 25 years to one powerful belief: self-care is not selfish—it's essential.

Delyse Clayden is an experienced educator, disability advocate, and mother of three. Specialising in Anxiety, Autism, and working with siblings, Delyse brings both personal and professional experience to her advocacy work. Her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent living alongside additional needs allows her to connect authentically with families.

Connect With Us

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•       Visit our website: www.shespeakswellbeing.com

A Note on Wellbeing
She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women's voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and practical strategies, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner.