Making Sense of the Hard Bits of Parenting Escape the Compare-athon

Episode Overview
You're at playgroup watching someone else's child do something yours hasn't done yet. You're at school drop-off comparing yourself to the polished parent who seems to have it all together. You're at home wondering why one of your children can do something their sibling can't.

In this snippet, Delyse Clayden names the comparison trap for what it is—a natural human tendency that can quietly devastate our mental health and our children's self-esteem. But here's the shift: comparison can be unlearned. From practical scripts to shut down unhelpful playground conversations, to helping your child measure progress against their own baseline (not someone else's), this episode offers a way out of the compare-athon.

This Episode
Delyse shares strategies for escaping the comparison trap—for ourselves and our children. We explore:

• The many faces of comparison
• Talk about it openly
• Social media reality check
• Model what you want to see
• Healthy self-comparison
• Celebrate uniqueness
• Change the questions
• Shift the internal dialogue:
• Scripts for shutting down unhelpful conversations
• For children with disability
• Give grace

Quotable Moments

"Their only fair comparison is with who they were yesterday." — Delyse Clayden

"I'm happy with my child's progress at the moment. We are taking each beautiful step as it comes." — Delyse Clayden

"Children flourish when they feel unconditionally valued for who they are, not judged against others." — Delyse Clayden

"When you stop comparing and start celebrating their unique journey, you build trust, you build confidence, and authentic growth." — Delyse Clayden

About Your Hosts

Professor Narelle Lemon is a researcher, educator, and passionate advocate for women's wellbeing based at Edith Cowan University in Perth. Creator of She Speaks and the Citizen Wellbeing Scientist project, Narelle has dedicated over 25 years to one powerful belief: self-care is not selfish—it's essential.

Delyse Clayden is an experienced educator, disability advocate, and mother of three. Specialising in Anxiety, Autism, and working with siblings, Delyse brings both personal and professional experience to her advocacy work. Her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent living alongside additional needs allows her to connect authentically with families.

Connect With Us

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A Note on Wellbeing
She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women's voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and practical strategies, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women's Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.

She Speaks Podcast was recorded on the lands of the Whadjuk Nyoongar people. We respectfully acknowledge our elders past, present, and emerging.