Making Sense of the Hard Bits of Parenting — Why 'I'm Fine' is a Lie We Tell

Episode Overview

You're dragging your kids through the school gate with your hair a mess. The parent next to you looks perfectly polished and calm. You tell yourself they've got it together and you don't. But here's what you're not seeing: they probably feel exactly the same way about someone else.

In this snippet, Delyse Clayden unpacks why asking for help feels so impossibly hard—and why so many of us say "I'm fine" when we're anything but. From the trained educator who couldn't admit she needed help with her own children's disabilities, to the fear that needing support means failing as a parent, this episode names the barriers so we can start dismantling them.

This Episode

Delyse identifies six reasons why asking for help feels so difficult—and what happens when we don't. We explore:

• Unrealistic self-expectations
• Viewing help as failure
• Gender role expectations
• Fear of admitting problems
• Uncertainty about where to start
• Fear of being a burden
• The cost of going without help
• Building your village

Quotable Moments

"I'm a trained educator and admitting that I couldn't do it all for them, it wasn't easy to ask for help. You don't want to admit that you are not enough." — Delyse Clayden

"Let's assume that people are going to congratulate us for recognizing when support was needed." — Delyse Clayden

"Parents can't always be honest with your parents. But if you've got other people that have helped develop you, then you've got more people to support you, support the children." — Delyse Clayden

"Ask for help. Don't be shy." — Delyse Clayden

About Your Hosts
Professor Narelle Lemon is a researcher, educator, and passionate advocate for women's wellbeing based at Edith Cowan University in Perth. Creator of She Speaks and the Citizen Wellbeing Scientist project, Narelle has dedicated over 25 years to one powerful belief: self-care is not selfish—it's essential.

Delyse Clayden is an experienced educator, disability advocate, and mother of three. Specialising in Anxiety, Autism, and working with siblings, Delyse brings both personal and professional experience to her advocacy work. Her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent living alongside additional needs allows her to connect authentically with families.

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A Note on Wellbeing
She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women's voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and practical strategies, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women's Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.

She Speaks Podcast was recorded on the lands of the Whadjuk Nyoongar people. We respectfully acknowledge our elders past, present, and emerging.