She Short: How Am I Playing This Game?

There’s a place we can all find ourselves in from time to time — a place where it feels like things are happening to us, where someone else is to blame, and where we don’t have a choice. Rachel Russell of Quiet Frankly Coaching calls this victimhood, and she’s direct about it: it’s not a place that serves us. When we stay there, we give our power away — and often pass that feeling of wrongness on to someone else. In this She Short, Rachel offers a question that isn’t easy to ask, but that can be genuinely transformative. It’s the kind of question that helps us see a situation as it actually is, rather than through the lens of blame. And that clarity? That’s where real change begins.

In This Short

Rachel explores:

•       What happens when we stay in victimhood — we give our power away, feel like we don’t have a choice, and often impose that sense of wrongness onto others

•       A courageous set of questions to ask yourself: How am I playing this game? How am I complicit in this? And how is blaming the situation or the other person actually helping me?

•       Why the answers to these questions — even though they’re uncomfortable — can be a genuine turning point, helping us see things as they are rather than through our perception of them

Quotable Moment

“It doesn’t make you feel great when you do ask that question, but the answers that come from it are going to be an absolute game changer — because you actually start to see how it is, rather than your perception of it.” — Rachel Russell

Something to Try

Think of a situation where you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or like someone else is the problem. Then, with compassion for yourself, ask: how am I playing a part in this? This isn’t about self-blame — it’s about self-honesty. It’s about seeing where you might be giving your power away and asking whether blame is actually moving you forward or keeping you exactly where you are. The answer might be uncomfortable. But as Rachel says, what comes from that discomfort can change everything.

About Rachel

Rachel Russell is the founder of Quiet Frankly Coaching, based in Bunbury, Western Australia.

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A Note on Wellbeing

She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women’s voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and lived wisdom, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If themes in this episode resonate or you are finding things difficult, we encourage you to reach out to a registered mental health practitioner, counsellor or psychologist.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women’s Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.