Habits That Piggyback

We all have the graveyard. The six am yoga phase. The gratitude journal with four entries. The water bottle with the motivational timestamps. And most of us read that graveyard as evidence about ourselves – that we lack discipline, that we can’t follow through.

In this episode, Narelle offers a different reading: those habits didn’t fail because you’re flawed. They failed because they were designed for a woman with a different life.

Drawing on behavioural research, she shares why new habits don’t survive on motivation – motivation is weather, it comes and goes – and how attaching one tiny act of care to something you already do without thinking changes everything. She also opens one of her own graveyard items: the beautiful notebook, the twenty-minute evening journal, and the ten-second question that outlived it by years.

In This Episode

•     Rereading the habit graveyard – why abandoned routines say more about their design than about your discipline

•     Why motivation is weather – and why habits survive on attachment instead: being hooked into something you already do automatically

•     The one-sentence recipe – “After I do a thing I already do, I will do one tiny act of care” – and why the existing habit does all the heavy lifting

•     The size rule – if it takes more than about thirty seconds, it’s too big to start with. Tiny and attached beats abandoned every time

•     Before and after – the twenty-minute journal that lasted four entries, and the one question at the click of the laptop lid that has lasted years: “What do I need this evening?”

Your Micro Moment for Today

Today, just choose your anchor. Don’t even start the habit yet – simply pick the existing moment you’ll attach it to, something you do every day without fail. Then tomorrow, attach one tiny act of care to it: one breath, one sentence, one stretch. And if you miss a day, you haven’t broken anything. The anchor will still be there tomorrow – that’s the whole point of it.

Quotable Moments

“Those habits didn’t fail because you’re flawed. They failed because they were designed for a woman with a different life.”

— Narelle

“New habits don’t survive on motivation. Motivation is weather. It comes and goes.”

— Narelle

“Tiny and attached beats abandoned every time.”

— Narelle

About This Series

She Snippets is a six-episode series of short listens exploring micro moments – small, free, repeatable acts of care that fit inside real lives. Everything shared in this series is free. Not free-trial free. Actually free.

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Acknowledgement of Country

She Speaks acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of the lands and waters across Western Australia on which we live, work and record, and pays respect to Elders past and present. We recognise the enduring strength and wisdom of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women and their continuing connection to Country, culture and community.

A Note on Wellbeing

She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women’s voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and practical ideas, this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you are struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner. Support is also available any time from Lifeline on 13 11 14 and 13YARN on 13 92 76 (for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people).

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and the Department of Communities Women’s Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.