#3: Lessons in Authenticity From Little Ones

This episode focuses on the journey to self-acceptance and the importance of living authentically in the face of societal pressures. We share insights on recognizing the emotions that indicate when we are aligned or misaligned with our true selves.

• The impact of a child's experience shopping for shoes on self-awareness 
• Recognizing peer pressure and its influence from a young age 
• How emotions guide us in determining personal alignment 
• Evaluating feelings in various situations to gain self-awareness 
• The longest journey being from the head to the heart 
• Encouragement to share thoughts, experiences, and topics for future discussions

Thank you for joining me!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to Just Count Me In a podcast about coming home to yourself and finding your expression, figuring out who exactly you came here to be also known as living your best life. I'm Sari Stone and I'll be your host. So over the summer we took our grandsons shopping, which I love to do. Summer we took our grandsons shopping, which I love to do, and the little four-year-old really, really inspired me to record this episode. So he's got kind of wide feet. It's hereditary on part in that side of the family.

Speaker 1: 0:38

And we were at a store and he was getting sandals and his brother found sandals right away, which was pretty cool, and he fell in love with a pair of sandals. And his brother found sandals right away, which was pretty cool, and he fell in love with a pair of sandals that a little boy next to him, coincidentally, also loved and tried on and it fit, like the Cinderella fit. He bought them immediately, was happy prancing around there with his mom and left. So our little guy thought he would have the same experience. My husband and I looked at each other because we looked at the sandals and we looked at his feet and we thought, you know, it's probably not going to work because they're normal width, but some things, you know, they've got to find out on their own. And so we let him try them on and he tried, and he tried, and he tried walking different ways and his little gallop diminished into a limp and then he turned around and he said Grandma, this hurts my feet. And he just kicked one of them off and he's like these are not for me, but we'll find another pair. And I thought, how cool is that, but we'll find another pair. And I thought how cool is that that he realized it didn't feel good, even though it looked good on someone else. It wasn't what he wanted and he was not going to squish his foot in there at the sake of comfort just to have shoes that look good. I was impressed and I thought here's an episode. Not that I knew I'd be doing a podcast then, but here's an episode somewhere. I was actually going to use it for a yoga class theme and I did, I think. So luckily. I mean, his parents have raised him to be self aware and they really respect and support when he communicates what he needs and trust he trusts himself that he knows what feels good for his body. So and they also raise him that there's it's not a scarcity mentality. If those shoes don't fit, yes, you are going to find other shoes, which has made it a lot easier. He did find other shoes and they were, as he put it, pretty great. So everybody left happy. And they were, as he put it, pretty great. So everybody left happy and I left thinking like why am I not more like that in all areas of my life, and at what age do kids stop being like that?

Speaker 1: 3:00

As a teacher in elementary school, I noticed that by third grade already there was a lot of peer pressure for fitting in and maybe saying you liked music that you didn't like, or saying you liked a flavor of smoothie that you didn't really like, maybe dressing a certain way on twin day, even though they weren't, it wasn't really an outfit that they would wear, and I noticed that it started then. Maybe it starts earlier, and the sad thing is it just takes us so out of alignment with ourselves and it gets bigger as we get bigger. Go to. I remember when I tried cigarettes for the first time. I just wanted to fit in. I just wanted to be on the back of the bus, a cool kid like the other cool kids. I still wasn't a cool kid, but I did earn my way to the back of the bus, but literally I choked so hard I thought I was going to throw up. Yet I forced myself to smoke the cigarette and what was my body saying? My body was saying heck, no, you definitely don't want this. My mind was saying they'll like me if I do this. I'll fit in. If I do this, it looks good when they do it right. And there's just a prime example. And then it also goes what kind of genes were in style? Whether they fit my body type or not, guess what I got them. I mean, I'll admit, I'll be the first to admit, I'm definitely not. I was not immune to this and I still have to keep myself in line.

Speaker 1: 4:34

Sometimes it's hard because we're wired for connection as humans and we're wired to fear rejection and we all like to feel like we belong. But we do belong. We just like to feel like we belong based on external factors and other people's approval, and there's where the disconnect lies. So this can translate itself in so many ways into our lives. I mean, are you ever in a social situation where you end up with a people hangover the next day? Do you ever notice that you have a headache after you talk to somebody on the phone for a while? Have you noticed that when you see a text from someone who is really not a positive person for you to be interacting with, that you cringe every you know when you see that they've contacted you, yet you still do it? Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that looked really good on the surface and looked great on facebook and looked perfect, yet you were empty inside. There was a hollow feeling inside of you because it wasn't really you. It was like a frame without a picture.

Speaker 1: 5:51

This also can happen with jobs. You can't wait. You get the job that you think you want, or the job that your parents wanted you to have, or the job that your teachers thought you'd be good at. And then all of a sudden, you're not happy, or you start to get anxiety, or you start to get sick a lot, or you start to pick up nervous habits, or you decide you need to numb yourself every day after work in one way or another, and these are all signs that you've deviated from your alignment with yourself.

Speaker 1: 6:25

So I used to wonder why we have all these emotions. I mean, I like the good ones, of course. I like joy, I like anticipation, I love love. I mean, there's a lot of emotions that I really am crazy about and there's some that I think I could do without. And guess what? I now understand that emotions are here because they tell us when we are at cross purposes with our higher selves, when we're not cross-purposes with our higher selves, when we're not acting in integrity with ourselves, and when that happens we've actually created static in our reception, we've created static in our vibration and we're not attuned to source at that time, and then we're not going to be a match, we're not going to be ready to connect to those things that are there for us for our highest and greatest good. So I thought about it for a long time and really there's only one step that I'm going to go over today, because when I coach people about this, there are many steps involved, but I think, just for the first step, to become aware of your emotions. When you're wearing certain clothes, when you eat certain foods, when you listen to music, just become aware.

Speaker 1: 8:00

How do you feel around certain friends, around families, when you're partaking in a conversation? Do you feel ever that you're contracting or expanding? How do you feel, and how much of it is because you're trying to do something to be socially accepted or because it's stereotypically approved that you do this, or this is something that someone your age does, or someone with your level of education does. It can go on and on. But I would say, start noticing in those situations, the emotions you have when you are in alignment with yourself.

Speaker 1: 8:41

And if you're not sure, ask yourself am I feeling happy? You're in alignment? Am I feeling anxious, out of alignment? Am I feeling nervous or depressed, out of alignment? Am I feeling anxious or fearful? Unless it's a new experience and you're expanding your ability to receive something and kind of breaking the ceiling on what can be good in your life, that's a sign of being out of alignment too, or having to think about things a different way. If you start to just feel nervous in a certain situation, you're out of alignment. When you're angry always out of alignment.

Speaker 1: 9:28

When you're feeling like you intensely dislike someone you're definitely not connected at that point. Dislike someone? You're definitely not connected at that point. But when we're feeling loved and loving and joy, then we're living in integrity with our highest selves. And the more we practice being aware of this, the easier it gets. So I would say the longest journey is from the head to the heart. That's what they say in yoga and it's definitely worth it. Definitely worth it 200 to make that trip and then start making those choices and once you notice that, once you notice the ways that we're behaving that take us out of our integrity, then we can start to do our integrity, then we can start to do something about it, then we can start to explore them, and that's another episode. So I'm hoping that you give me some feedback about topics that you'd like to explore or if you'd like to go deeper into this one. I also offer individual coaching sessions with people, and I would like to know your thoughts on it and how you've noticed and how you've changed it in your life. One of my favorite quotes is and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live, and that was from Anais Nin.

Speaker 1: 11:04

This episode today is about choosing yourself and living in integrity with yourself, and it's a conversation. So what we're hoping to do in this podcast is to take thought beyond where it's been before, just going to kind of go to some new frontiers. We all come with different experiences and we speak our truth and then together we reach what we can't reach alone. We go further. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you like this episode, please let me know. Stop by social media, on Instagram or my Facebook page, just count me in and please leave a comment. If there's anybody that you think could benefit from this episode, please forward it to them, and I look forward to seeing you next time. We're all in this together.