Transform Your Life - Just Count Me In

#25 Spirit-Led Success

• Sari Stone • Season 1 • Episode 25

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True success isn't something we chase but something we allow when we align with our authentic selves rather than external validation. We often lose our joy when success gets redefined for us by others, just like the toddler at the beach who was happy playing catch until his older brother pointed out he couldn't catch the ball properly.

• Spirit-led success is guided by peace, not driven by pressure
• Success that's aligned with your values doesn't cost you your health, joy or authenticity
• External validation feels good but becomes problematic when we alter ourselves to get it
• Like digital algorithms that suggest content based on our focus, we attract what we align with
• Success and failure look different for everyone-it's about how you feel


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Thank you for joining me!

Speaker 1:

Hey, welcome, welcome back to Transform your Life. Just count me in. I'm Sari, and today we're going to step into kind of a sticky topic, but I believe it's really going to change the way you might define and experience your success in life. We're actually talking about failure or spirit-led success, whichever way you want to flip it. Failure or spirit-led success, whichever way you want to flip it.

Speaker 1:

This weekend we were at the beach and it was one of those perfect July days. It was just beautiful and there was a family. A lot of families can just come down for a week or two and we used to be that family, so I could tell they were here just for a week and the grandpa was playing with the little boy and he was about two and he was throwing a football and the little guy was like holding his arms out and the grandpa was trying to throw the ball into his arms and he didn't catch it in his arms but after it bounced off of him he could catch it. It was a nerf football. He could catch it in the sand and he was all excited and then he he would throw it back. He had a very good throwback, by the way, for a two year old.

Speaker 1:

So this went on for a while and I thought he's so into it. He's just following his joy. He doesn't even care that he's not catching the ball. Like, why can't I be more like that? Why do I care so much all the time that it's got to be right that? Why do I care so much all the time that it's got to be right?

Speaker 1:

And that's often the way we define success. Often we're conditioned to chase external markers and sometimes they are success indicators money awards, grades, titles. But what if true success isn't really something we chase? What if it's something we actually allow? After a few minutes of this, his older brother came over and the little kid was still having such a good time and he looked at him and he was like, throw it to me, he can't catch the ball. And the poor little guy, his whole face was downtrodden and I thought how often do we feel good about something until success gets redefined for us by someone else, someone outside of us, and we lose that feeling of feeling good. We lose that feeling of doing what we want and not caring as much about the result. Or maybe the result was not catching the ball, maybe the result, the joy of this was chasing after the ball on the sand and finding a couple shells along the way and throwing it back to his grandpa. So how often do we outsource what we grade ourselves with? How often do we give away that much power to somebody else? And it's very often that somebody will come to me and say I'll ask how their week is going and they'll say well, I failed at something and I'll say failed who? Who did you fail?

Speaker 1:

Very often people misspeak their failure and sometimes society, religion, well-meaning family members, well-meaning people in our lives help us define what they consider success is. We take that on and we actually become, after a while, desensitized to the guidance that we have coming in, which leads us more towards how do I actually feel about this? We live in a culture that's very much driven by how much we do, how hard we work, how perfect we look, how fast we can get there. Human doings, right Human doings, and yet how many successful people are deeply unhappy. Wayne Dyer was once quoted as saying you are not a human doing, you're a human being.

Speaker 1:

And that simple reminder invites us to look inward, to define success more about how we feel, not just about what we achieve. When you think about it. How quickly can I return to myself? How quickly can I bring myself back into a state of loving my life and feeling good? That, to me, is success, and we call this spirit-led success.

Speaker 1:

Spirit-led success is not driven by pressure. It's guided by peace. It's the kind of success that doesn't end up costing you your health or your joy or your authenticity, and it's guided by flow. What feels good, what feels right? By flow, what feels good, what feels right. It doesn't mean that there's an absence of acknowledgement and it doesn't mean that there might be an absence of getting recognized for doing a good job. Everybody feels good when we get noticed. We all feel good. Approval is great and it's natural. It's natural that it's pleasing to us.

Speaker 1:

What we have to understand is when we start morphing ourselves into someone who's constantly looking for the approval and altering what we do in order to get that approval and thinking less of ourselves when we don't get the approval. Therein lies the problem, and I know in yoga classes and I was very careful when I was a teacher not to do this I would not praise people specifically or give feedback about a pose with someone's name, because if I said great job, stan. Then Stan would be looking for me to say great job next week and he would think maybe if I didn't say great job, because maybe I was noticing someone else or maybe he wasn't doing a great job, then he didn't do as well. He would be measuring his indicator by my external feedback, and this is a sticky place for a lot of us.

Speaker 1:

Esther Hicks teaches us that when we align our vibration with what we want not just what we fear or need, but the other end of the stick, what launched that desire we become a magnet for inspired action and perfect timing. There's a lot of synchronicity in our lives, but it's not about the striving. It's more so about allowing. So here's an example that I was talking about this weekend with my husband. It's like we create an algorithm. When we're watching any content TikTok, youtube, facebook X If we shop on our phones, if we have a conversation around Siri or Google that personally drives me crazy we put our attention and focus on something. And the next day, when we open up our phones or turn on our computers, what's it suggesting? Even when we listen to music, spotify is paying attention. It offers us new music picked for us.

Speaker 1:

Well, the same thing happens when we align with what we want, and what we want in the name of success is actually the feeling that that object, experience, person, et cetera gives us. It isn't to say that it was never good to consider the opinions of others. Just to be mindful that you're staying aligned to what's feeling really truly authentic for you and practice the feeling that you get when you think about how good that success is going to be. Practice that feeling without the external and see what happens in your life, see what gets called into your life. So what does spirit success actually look like? It looks like you are present and aware. It looks like you are present and aware. You are able to return to yourself and feel peaceful, even when things are uncertain. You feel a sense of joy or purpose or loss of self in a positive way in the process, not just the outcome. You often feel in the flow. You stop needing or caring about validation because you're actually aligned with your values. So it just feels good. Validation feels good, but when we need it it becomes an addiction. It becomes an addiction.

Speaker 1:

So a growth-oriented soul is what Carol Dweck talks about, and she talks about that in the framework of a growth mindset. She also did a lot of research you might want to look into about feedback versus praise and compliments and it being specific and timely, and feedback and praise is a whole other episode and the way that it has the ability to have a positive outcome on people. But success in itself is not about being the best. That's a recipe for disaster and real failure at being happy because you're constantly comparing yourself to someone else. It's about getting better. It's about learning. It's about following your heart and stretching and becoming more of who you are, allowing, more of what's here for you, expanding Even when things don't go your way. A spirit mindset says this must be redirecting me to something even better, and that's growth, that's trust. That is divine. Timing is divine timing.

Speaker 1:

Living in intention is when your inner world actually shapes your outer world. So I want you to take a moment and think have you ever had a time in your life that you were pushing really hard for something and it just wasn't working, when you kept trying to make it happen like force, the timing, the connections, the results and after a while, how did you feel? Probably drained, and often it's not until people surrender and almost even say out loud all right, I give up, let go. You know, show me the way. The path actually came clear. And what comes next is almost always unexpected and it is always more aligned and not forced. I ask myself. This has happened to me so many times and I ask myself every day what wants to flow through me today.

Speaker 1:

Success looks different for different people and to different people. Impose our ideas of success on someone else, whether it's verbally or non-verbally. They can just feel it. Sometimes it's like a silent expectation and it can be poison to the creative process. You know inside, when you've succeeded at something, you know that feeling of satisfaction Like, oh my gosh, I had no idea it could be this good, I'm so happy with the way things are and I allowed it to happen. I set things up and it happened. So what does success feel like in your soul? So what does success feel like in your soul? Where in your life do you feel like you're chasing success? And maybe it's someone else's idea of success? What would be a little bit different in your life if you were trusting your path and just letting it unfold? Naturally, where in my life do I feel a little bit like a puppet, just searching for that gold star to be put on my paper. You know the gold star, the smiley face, the smiley face. So, throughout the day, you might want to try on some of these affirmations and please contact me if you are ready to embark on a coaching cycle with me. I'm running some special summer packages because I know summer is a great time for change.

Speaker 1:

Step into a different version of yourself, a lighter version, a more pure version. I'm aligned with the rhythm of my spirit. Success flows through me when I release control. I am open to divine timing and inspired action. I no longer strive to prove. I allow myself to be. Failure sets me up for greater success. So, returning to alignment, if you have a couple of minutes and you can just come and be centered and feel that soft golden light in the center of your chest, just radiating peace, return to yourself and ask what does my spirit want to express today? And just listen. Sync up with your own divine rhythm and carry this feeling forward with you. I'm really looking forward to hearing from you and walking this journey with you. Contact me on Instagram, message me on Facebook and I hope to catch up with you soon. Until then, just count me in, thank you.