#43 Just Do It: From Sideline to Center

Remember the last time you felt fully alive—not just entertained, but awake in your own skin? Are you tired of watching people live their lives while you are sitting on the sidelines?  We explore what's keeping many of us stuck and how to reclaim a sense of agency with one small, deliberate action. The post-COVID world trained us to research, scroll, and observe; it also thinned our social muscles and normalized busyness as a shield. We unpack what the data shows about screens, anxiety, and loneliness while keeping the focus on what actually changes your day: clearing drains, naming blocks, and building momentum through tiny, real-world steps.
This conversation is about being counted in. Not someday, not when it’s perfect—today. If you’ve been waiting for the right plan, the right timing, or the right version of yourself, consider this your nudge. Let's do a little fall cleaning before we wrap this year up.  Subscribe for more practical coaching, share this with a friend who needs momentum, and leave a review so we can reach more people ready to trade scrolling for living. What’s the smallest offline step you’ll take this week?

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Core Promise
• 0:45 From Box-Ticking To Wake-Up Call
• 2:41 Passive Living In A Post-COVID World
• 4:50 Signs You’re Stuck On The Sidelines
• 8:48 What The Research Reveals
• 12:01 Drains, Blocks, And Lost Momentum
• 16:09 Three Clients, Three Roadblocks
• 20:28 Tiny Steps That Build Momentum

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to Just Count Me In, a podcast designed to help you break free from your limitations and step into the life that you actually were meant to live. I'm Sari Stone and I'm a holistic coach with a background in education. For the past six years, I've been guiding people to transform their lives from the inside out. My journey, to be honest with you, was not always clear. For years, I actually felt like I was living someone else's life, checking all the right boxes, but never feeling quite truly fulfilled. That all changed when I experienced a few miracles, met some incredible teachers, and had a major wake-up call that forced me to shift my entire perspective. Wayne Dyer once said, When you change the way you look at things, the things that you look at change, and that is exactly what this podcast is about. Helping you see your life in a new way so that you can start living with authenticity, purpose, and passion. Each week, I'm going to bring you 30-minute episodes filled with insights, practical strategies, and inspiring interviews to help you uncover what truly lights you up and identify what's been holding you back. Eventually, this is going to ignite your motivation and create real change. Are you ready to step into the life you were meant to live? Then just count me in. Let's do this together. When was the last time that you felt really alive? Not just entertained by something or distracted, but fully in your life. We haven't really been present and done anything for us in our physical lives. And in the post-COVID world, many of us became experts at learning and researching and watching and liking and commenting, but not so much at doing. We learned how to show up in feeds more than our flesh. And that left us on the sidelines. And life keeps playing at full speed until it's over. So today's episode is about moving from sitting on the sidelines, sitting in the stands into the ring. It's about being counted in. It's taking the move from passive to active, from spectator to participant in your life. It's a lot of why I started this podcast. Because it would have been really easy for me the year we moved here, especially the first year, to just become a spectator. And I didn't even have to leave my house to get food because I could get things delivered. And I really, really had to push myself, even though this is a great place, and this was a move of choice to get out and feel like I'm living my life, and I'm living where I am, and I'm meeting people where I am, and I belong where I am. So I understand when I have clients and I have some students that I tutor also who have a hard time taking that first step. They have a hard time sometimes showing up in the 5D. So let's get clear on what it looks like if you're living on the sidelines of life. It can be sneaky or it can be pretty obvious. It can mean a person is a complete hermit and doesn't leave her house, or it could show up as just scrolling feeds instead of having a conversation with people, or choosing comfort over taking a risk so you don't have to feel awkward or worry. It can look like you hide behind having a super busy calendar or behind screen time so that you don't actually have to live or do anything. You could technically spend your whole life in classes that are preparing you on how to live your best life and never take any of the steps to do it. But you'll still feel like you're doing something, right? So here's what the research says. I was curious about this because I wanted to know whether this was something that came about more after COVID or before COVID, because I've noticed it a whole lot more in the last six years. And it's affecting children, and it never used to affect kids. So, according to a recent national survey of teens age 12 through 17 from 2021 to 2023, teens who reported four or more hours of non-school screen time per day were significantly more likely to have infrequent physical activity, irregular sleep routines, symptoms of anxiety and depression, and insufficient peer support feeling alone. And that came from the CDC, that data. In college-age students, which I'm also coaching people in college, a study found that social isolation, predicted smartphone addiction, and what they call now has a name. Of course, everything has a name, post-COVID-19 anxiety, meaning the feeling of disconnection and pushed into screen dependency rather than real connection. Now, in our defense as humans, during COVID, the screens were the safest way for us to see each other. Many of us started facetiming our families because we were even nervous about seeing them. And people that were in middle school or elementary school or high school or college. That was the way they could interact. The problem is during those years, during that developmental time in their lives, they weren't developing or using the muscles that it takes to get out there and do it without the screen. So confidence got lost and development was a little bit delayed because of it. Then I asked the question, what about before COVID? Was this all COVID? I don't remember seeing so much of it before COVID, but I think it was always there. And according to U.S. Surgeon General, the report showed that before COVID, one out of every two adults still reported loneliness. So I think that pandemic only deepened that whole disconnect. So being on the sidelines isn't just a metaphor. The evidence is showing us that tens of millions of people are experiencing disconnect, isolation, dependence on screens, and they are increasingly unable to engage in their real life. Life is easier to experience if you just do it on a screen. Not fulfilling, but easier. It's risk-free. What happens when you don't engage? You feel stuck. What happens when you don't use a muscle for a long time? It atrophies. The same is true of you. Then you start to feel the blocks. You start to feel like you should start, but you don't know how. You watch others start, you cheer them on from your couch, but your life basically is still on pause. Sometimes it can be because it's the life that you're thinking about getting back into is not the life you thought it should be at this time in your life. And we debunk that completely. Taking any step is better than taking no step. Getting any kind of momentum as long as it feels good and feels aligned with just what feels good. It doesn't have to be your greatest calling in the world or your largest talent or your greatest gifts. It can just be taking a step that feels better than sitting at home. And that can open you up. So often before you can move forward, you have to clear two things. And we've gone over energy blocks a couple of episodes ago, energy drains. These are the obvious things that siphon your force. Over scrolling, passive consumption, avoiding obligations that you don't want, guilt-driven choices, attending things that you don't want to attend, especially around the holidays, and busyness that protects you from actually feeling or experiencing. Then once you've eliminated many of the drains, you'll think, okay, so what is do I have cement blocks on my feet? What is going on? And actually, it is blocks, but not cement. So what stops you from taking the first step? What blocks? Sometimes there's fear of what actually is going to happen if you show up. Sometimes it's a belief that you're not ready, not enough, or too late. Sometimes it's that the comfort zone feels safer than the uncertainty of taking action. And sometimes it's because we have no momentum. The muscle to move is weak. As Esther Hicks says, whatever you know you don't want something. So many people take that first step of identifying what's not wanted. And instead of then turning towards what's wanted, they continue to talk about what they don't want over and over and over again. She calls this beating the drum. And in time, the vitality that they were born with wanes. And it only takes 17 seconds of focusing on something, a vibration that attracts more thoughts, like it will begin to coalesce. And in 68 seconds of focusing on something, you can change your actual vibration on any topic. And if you don't believe me, I challenge you to try it. So to clear the blocks, you need energy, which is vibration, and movement taking the first step. So here are some real life stories because I thought I wanted you to meet some people that I had worked with whose lives reflect the sideline, reflected the sideline status so you feel seen and realize you are far from alone. So case number one, I'm going to call her Lucy. She graduated high school last year, full of potential. She has not taken a job yet. She is not sure what she wants to do, so she actually does nothing. Well, she does some things. She scrolls, she researches, she watches documentaries, she talks to people, she watches other people build their careers, but she herself is actually frozen. Her drain is digital disengagement. And her fear, her block is the belief that she should already know and be well entrenched in working towards the career of her life. And she just might not be. This might not be the time. But that doesn't mean she does nothing. Case number two, Ben is a student I had that was doing really, really well academically, but he didn't branch out socially. He stayed in his room and he just watched. He watched. He couldn't get any further than that. He sees their posts about fun, but he doesn't engage. Ben's drain is passive consumption of social life, or it was, he's actually fine now. His block is the belief that if it's not perfect, I don't even think I should bother trying. The third person that gave me permission to share, I'm gonna call Elise. She was recently divorced and she filled up her calendar with obligations and tasks, but she wasn't really living. She, I mean, part of being a parent, a lot of times, very often, you're a spectator in your children's lives as far as watching their games, watching their performances. I get that. But she literally either did that or filled her life up with busy work and couldn't even answer the question, what would you do if you just did what you feel like doing? She didn't even know what she felt like doing. Her dream was busyness disguised as progress. If they asked how she was doing, she could give you a list of what she was doing, and if doing a lot meant she was doing well, she was doing sensationally well. If you asked how she was being, if you asked how she actually was feeling, she was afraid of being alone. Her block was a fear of silence and a fear of herself. If she slowed down, she could sense pain and emptiness in her life. All three people wanted to come back to themselves and be aware and be present. And all three people did. How did they do it? So they took the first step. Here's where we're going to take a turn towards hope and connection because momentum is not an abstract concept. It's something that you build. There is a momentum, some believe, that was established by the source within you before you even were born. The impulse, the life force, the drive to live, it's already in you. You just need to turn towards it. So, practically speaking, you could choose one little real life step today. Not big, not perfect. You could take five minutes to just check in with your senses. Just come to your senses. Think, what are five things that I'm hearing? What are five things that I'm seeing? How does my body feel? What am I smelling? To just bring yourself to presence. You could take a walk outside with no phone, or say yes to one social opportunity, or even just walk, make eye contact and say hello to someone. You could join a local meetup or volunteer at something for 30 minutes. Anything. Could there be some time where you just build yourself a moat before bedtime and the first hour that you wake up where you're not on the screen? And during that time, if you're thinking of a person, you talk to them instead of texting them. Start to notice that you move, your energy shifts, and this little action can signal your internal system and the universe that you're ready, and that's when the momentum begins. As you do this, you're gonna feel your blocks move clearly because when you move, the resistant pushes back. So don't be upset if you start to take steps and then you find out why you didn't want to take steps. Your release is gonna be, you might realize, oh, I had been telling myself I was waiting for the perfect moment, or oh, I'm afraid that they're gonna reject me if I reach out, or I've been so busy, I don't even feel the emptiness underneath. Now I realize why I'm doing that. It's not a pretty time. You're looking at blocks, you're looking at things that were holding you back. Just acknowledge it, it's part of the process, and this awareness is so powerful. Then you can apply these tools, these coaching tools. You can work on some affirmations, you can try some journaling, you can ask yourself, what does my life want from me right now? Just now. Not a huge commitment. Just now. What next step am I being invited to? And acknowledge for yourself, I'm safe to move, I'm ready to live by chaining tiny, tiny actions. It's like those chains that you would make at the holidays when you were a kid, the red and green chains or black and orange chains, the construction paper chains for Halloween. You make links and you make those into little actions, then you create a big chain. In this case, you're creating momentum. The 1768-second rule may sound metaphorical, but the point is this: the momentum builds when you begin, because your vibration, your willingness, your alignment, your shift from I'm watching to I'm doing is what it takes. So if you have time, grab your journal and a pencil now. If not, come back to this. And here are some journaling prompts. What parts of my life am I watching right now instead of living? If I keep doing nothing for another year, what story would I tell myself about why I didn't move? The year is gonna happen either way. What's the smallest real life step I can take this week outside of a screen that signals I'm ready to start participating in my life? It can be very small. What fear or belief is most likely to block me from taking that step? And what can I tell myself instead? So I always prepare for what's going to come up. By when I'm writing these, I notice what is popping up in my mind and I write it down. Like, you know, oh, you're so full of it, you've done this before and it didn't work, or what makes you think this time is going to be any different, or any doubtful negative thing I write down. I don't ruminate about it, but I write it down because I see what my mind is throwing at me and it gives me the ammo to fight back. If energy is like a river, where in my body do I feel resistance? Is it a backache? Is it allergies? Is it a stomach ache? Is it a headache? Is it tension in my neck? Is it hands or feet that can't be still? What would it feel like to release it and just let it flow? Take your time with this part and let the answer surface. You're going for a deep dive here. Let the emotional texture of all this show up. It's okay, and just know it's gonna be messy. You're chipping away at things, and it's gonna be so worth it, I promise you. Some affirmations that you may try, and affirmations are very powerful because they do get in once you practice the feeling with them. I show up for my life, and picture yourself fully there, a hundred percent in, all engaged. I take one step and momentum follows, and picture that feeling. Good things are showing up, opportunities are all around, success follows me. I am a participant, and just picture it, get the feeling, feel yourself, feel what it feels like to be a part of something, feel what it feels like to be in a state of belonging. I trust the part of me and the impulse with me that wants to live. I am safe to begin, to explore, to stumble, and to grow. Okay, here's your call to action. Choose one step you identified in your journaling and mark it on your calendar. And I suggest that people get a physical planner because there has been some research about writing things down and just the actual art of note-taking like this and journaling like this, as it being a little bit more effective, it makes a different connection with your brain. So mark it on your calendar, make it non-negotiable, and commit to showing up for you. Make this date with yourself, then tell somebody about it, share your intention. Accountability is real, and if you're listening now, say in your mind, just count me in. That phrase is not about the podcast title, although it is, it's part of why I called, just count me in, just count me in. Because I want to be counted in in life. I don't want to just be sitting on the sidelines, I don't want to just be watching things like I'm a fish in an aquarium looking out. I want to be that person looking outside. I want to be that person that's outside living my life, both feet on the ground, except for when I'm jumping with joy or swimming, and I want to feel things, I want to be fully present in my life. So count me in. I might not always do a great job. It might not always go the way we planned, but please just count me in and count yourself in. In the upcoming weeks, we're gonna keep exploring how to meet your people, how to rebuild your social muscle, and how to unravel habits like busyness and avoidance. Also, how to turn your life into a 5D experience of flow, evolve, and transform. So please, please download the guide that we have in the show notes because this can help you. It can help give you steps. And please tag me on social and let me know what's going on with you and how you are taking these steps to embody your life. And we'll do this together, even though our community meets virtually. So let's make an agreement. Let's do this, let's get off the sidelines, let's build some momentum, one action at a time. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you like this episode, please let me know. Stop by at social media on Instagram or my Facebook page, just count me in and please leave a comment. If there's anybody that you think could benefit from this episode, please forward it to them. And I look forward to seeing you next time. We're all in this together.