Transform Your Life - Just Count Me In
Just Count Me In is a podcast designed to help us navigate and flow with our lives through conscious awareness. When we live with less resistance and more receptivity it is easier to express who we came here to be and enjoy life. We are all walking each other home.
Transform Your Life - Just Count Me In
# 53 Obstacles are Invitations to Expand
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We explore how resistance after a big yes can be preparation, not a stop sign. Through personal stories, client examples, neuroscience, and the CHANGE framework, we show how to build capacity, align with values, and let confidence grow with calling.
• clarity followed by tests that reveal capacity gaps
• redefining success beyond vanity metrics and gatekeeping
• reframing resistance as information and preparation
• nervous system safety, regulation and bandwidth
• leaders modeling grounded presence that cultures can feel
• the CHANGE framework: clear, heart, align, nourish, gratitude, enjoy
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Hey, welcome back to Transform Your Life. Just Count Me In. I'm Sarah, I'm your host. There's something that's been coming up over and over again for me lately in my own life and in my coaching and with the leaders and the clients that I work with, and it's this. It seems like right after you get clear, right after you commit, something shows up. And so often we mistake that something as a sign that like we're doing the wrong thing. But what if it's actually the opposite? What if you actually called in the lesson that you needed to get to get into the space so that you could build your capacity to be the container for what it is you're calling in, so that you maybe needed some skills or some resources to hold on to it, and then you're more aligned to it. So this is how it showed out for me. What if it shows up and it's not a reason to quit, but an invitation to grow your own capacity? I actually have lived this. So years ago, I decided to go back for my master's in public administration, and it wasn't random. At the time I was teaching second grade, and I really loved teaching, but I stepped into literally every single leadership role that I could that was available to me within my position, and I felt called to understand the systems better, to understand the policy, and maybe see if I could impact and make a change at a bigger level. Like I was being called to do a different version of myself. So the very first week of class, something happened. And I mean, it had been a while since I was done with my bachelor's. I waited for my daughter to graduate high school to go for my master's. And in the classroom, as we went around the room sharing what we did, a man, a couple of rows, yes, Rose, we actually sat in rows, which was strange, ahead of me, turned to his friend and said, What's a second grade teacher doing in here? And I had a quick, you know, well, I teach second grade, I'm not in second grade, is what I said, because I wanted him to know I heard him. But at the same token, at the same time, to be honest, I really wish the floor was just going to open up. I could feel like my face was really hot, everything was bright red. Not because he was right, but because his words must have landed on a doubt that I already had. And he emailed right back and he said something that I never forgot. He said, I don't see your intelligence as the issue, Sari. I think your confidence is going to be the real work in this program. And there it was. There was the gift. That moment wasn't telling me that I didn't belong. It was showing me what I needed to grow. And that way I could belong into the rooms I was being called into. And here's what's interesting: like the same pattern still shows up in my life, just at a different level. So recently my podcast has been growing, and I've been, it hasn't even been a year. It'll be a year this month. We're definitely going to celebrate, and I'm stepping into a little bit more visibility. So I was invited into a networking conversation. I thought, great, it was other business owners, other entrepreneurial people, and I was really clear and honest. I said, I'm interested in connection and I'm interested in collaboration. Um, I'm not interested in hiring somebody to artificially boost my numbers, which was the offer. The response I received was, I don't collaborate unless someone is in upper six or seven figures. I felt really annoyed. And then I paused and I thought, wow, I've learned by now that I need to really listen when something triggers me. Years ago, a comment like that might have made me shrink or second-guess myself. This time, it did something really different. It clarified me. It reminded me that not everybody measures success in the same way. And staying rooted in your values and watching people grow and change their lives and live better versions of themselves is also part of being successful, and staying true to myself is part of expanding my capacity. And this is the part I really want you to hear. When you say yes to your purpose, when you commit to your next level, very often all kinds of things come into play: synchronicities, the right people, the right time, the right circumstances, and that is how my life is most of the time. Some of the time, something shows up that touches an old doubt or an old story or an old insecurity. And that doesn't mean stop. It just means I called in exactly the lesson that I needed to get into the space that I'm headed towards. And we as a culture say, well, if it doesn't work right away, we failed. And I don't believe that. It doesn't mean stop, it can mean expand. Life itself increases your capacity by putting pressure on the places that need strengthening. It's called expansion. This obstacle that might come up is not opposition, it's actually preparation for something greater. So if you're in that space right now where you've said yes to something meaningful and everything feels right, and it feels right inside of you, and suddenly things get uncomfortable. I want you to ask yourself this instead of quitting. Like, what is this asking me to strengthen so can I can hold what I'm calling in? Because if it's showing up, it's showing you where you're growing. So here of late, I've been coaching a few business owners, a dentist and a CEO of a nonprofit organization. And what's been fascinating is it's not just the external changes that they're seeing in their offices, it's what had to shift internally before those changes could actually stick. Like people can feel it that they're more grounded, their employees can feel it that they're more aligned with themselves. Every time we initiate a change, whether it's in a business, in a family, or in our own personal lives, resistance is going to show up. And that's what creates the expansion. So we have to reframe resistance. And we tend to interpret that resistance is a sign that something's wrong, that we're not in alignment, that we're not in our flow. Sometimes it might be that. Sometimes it's also information. What if it's showing us work our capacity needs to build up and not telling us that we should quit? From a neuroscience perspective, the nervous system's not asking, is this exciting? It's asking, is this safe? So when safety isn't there, even the best strategies fall apart. And we all know by now that when something is new, it your brain takes it as not safe because the brain likes familiar. So in both of these businesses, nothing magical changed overnight, but what changed was bandwidth, regulation, clarity. Once their offices settled down, the solutions they already had finally had somewhere to land. So instead of asking, why is this so hard? Maybe the better question is, what's this asking me to straighten out, to strengthen, to clear, to update? Change doesn't fail because we're incapable. It doesn't fail because we're going in the wrong direction. It fails when we try to go faster than our system can hold. And building capacity, that's work worth staying for. So this is actually why I created the change framework because transformation doesn't happen all at once. It happens in stages, and each stage asks something a little different of us. C is for clear the clutter. It's like the moment you commit, clutter rises, doubts, other people's opinions, old stories. This is where you learn how to separate what's yours from what isn't. H is for heart. Both these stories I shared with you actually required me to come back home to my heart, not my resume, not my numbers, not someone else's metric of success, but my own heart for my truth. A stands for align your energy, and alignment's not about forcing confidence. It's about staying rooted when something tries to knock you off center. N is for nourish the seed. Everything calling is a seed. Pressure doesn't destroy it, pressure actually strengthens your roots. G, G is for gratitude. I can look back now and feel really grateful for the moments that expose where I needed to grow. Would I have chosen them? Absolutely not. Am I glad that they happened? Absolutely I am. E is for enjoy the journey because expansion doesn't mean the fear disappears. It means fear doesn't get to decide. That alone prepares you for what this class might be. So if this resonates and if you're in that moment right now where you said yes to something and feel a little stretched, I'm creating a change masterclass to walk you through this process gently and honestly and intentionally. It's not at all about fixing yourself. It is not a fix. It's more about understanding what's being asked of you as you grow. So I'll share how to access this class with you if you just message me or send me an email. Before we close, I want to leave you with this reminder. You are not being asked. You're not being tested because you're not qualified. You're being expanded because you are ready. Change isn't about becoming someone new. It's more about expanding who you already are. So what's showing up right now, not to stop me, but to strengthen me. I trust what's being asked of me. I release, I let go of the need for external validation. I allow my confidence to grow with my calling. The bigger the calling, the bigger the confidence. I expand my capacity with grace. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you like this episode, please let me know. Stop by at social media on Instagram or my Facebook page, just count me in and please leave a comment. If there's anybody that you think could benefit from this episode, please forward it to them. And I look forward to seeing you next time. We're all in this together.