#65: If You Are Stuck In Your Head Listen To This

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Most people are taught to make decisions using logic alone—but research across neuroscience, physiology, and leadership shows that true clarity comes from integrating three intelligence systems: the head, the heart, and the gut. In this episode, we break down what each contributes, why over-relying on the brain leads to burnout and misalignment, and how to make decisions that actually feel right—not just look right.

Key Takeaways:

• Head-only decisions often lead to overthinking and misalignment
• The gut provides fast, instinctive pattern recognition
• The heart connects decisions to values and authenticity
• Decision fatigue is real—and integration reduces it
• Alignment creates clarity faster than analysis

The Alignment Framework:

Ask yourself:

• Does this make sense? (Head)
• Does this feel aligned? (Heart)
• Does this feel right? (Gut)

References Mentioned:

• Chris Voss – Never Split the Difference
• Joe Dispenza – brain and behavior patterns
• HeartMath Institute – heart-brain connection
• Roy Baumeister – decision fatigue

Call To Action:

If you’re ready to stop second-guessing and start making aligned decisions with clarity and confidence, reach out for coaching sessions. This is the exact work we do together.

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Transcript

The Three Intelligence Centers

When Head Only Decisions Fail

Decision Fatigue And Faster Clarity

The Three Question Decision Check

Leading With Dialogue Over Defense

Realignment And Coaching Invitation

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome back. If you've ever found yourself overthinking a decision, going back and forth, or even making the right choice, and then inside of you feeling off, you are far from alone. I'm Sari Stone, and this podcast is where we take a good look at what it means to live and lead in alignment, not just chase success, but actually define it and build it in a way that feels just like you. And today's episode is gonna absolutely shift how you think about decision making 100%. So let's dive in. If better thinking alone led to better decisions, high performers would not feel so stuck. They wouldn't be second-guessing themselves. They definitely wouldn't build lives that look successful on the outside but feel off on the inside. We've been taught that decisions are made in the head. Just think it through, weigh the pros and cons, be logical. I was really good at this. But what if that's only one-third of the total equation? Today we're going to talk about how aligned leaders actually make decisions by integrating the head, the heart, and the gut, and more importantly, how you can actually start doing this in your own life. Most of us were raised with that belief. The best decision is the most logical one. And logic absolutely has a role. But here's what happens when we rely on our heads alone. We end up being over-analytical. We sometimes delay decisions. We abandon what we actually really want. Sometimes we might make the right decision on paper, it makes perfect sense, only to find ourselves living a life that doesn't feel right at all. And that has happened to me because the brain is very powerful, but it's also limited. It's a piece of the puzzle. It's designed to predict, and it's really good at that based on the past. It's designed to keep you safe. It's designed to minimize risk. It's not designed to tell you what is deeply aligned for you. That's not the brain's job. So if the brain isn't the whole story, what exactly is? Luckily, I've got an answer for that. Research across neuroscience and physiology and even high-stakes negotiation shows us something really, really important. We've known it. We don't have just one intelligence system. We have multiple. So today we're going to focus on all three: the head, the heart, the gut, and the aligned decision making that we make means that we're not choosing one over the other. We're integrating all three. So the first intelligence center, the head, aka cognitive intelligence. The head is your thinking brain, and that's where strategy lives. Planning, analyzing, weighing out options, forecasting outcomes. Think of the work of Joe Dispenza, who often talks about how the brain is essentially a prediction machine. It constantly is using our past experiences to try to control our future outcomes. The strength of the head is that it helps make you smart and gives you informed decisions. The limitation of the head is that it relies really heavily on the past. It relies on probability and discounts possibility because it can't go there. It can keep you stuck in familiar patterns and it actually likes to because it considers that safe. Your brain can also overwrite deeper signals that you get from your body, and it's very good at that. So enter the second system, which is the intuitive, the gut, or the somatic intelligence. The gut is often called the second brain. I found out that 95% of serotonin actually found in the colon, and it's not just a metaphor about the gut being a second brain. There's an entire neural network in the gut that communicates with your brain, influencing all the time how you feel and how you respond. I was so impressed when I heard Chris Voss, he was a former FBI negotiator, the author of Never Split the Difference. He emphasized the importance of reading subtle signs and trusting instinct. In high-stakes environments like hostage negotiations, which is what he did, intuition is critical. In our lives, it's not as dramatic, but equally important. So the gut processes information quickly. It works with pattern recognition, safety signals, something feels off type of awareness. The strength of the gut is that right away there's speed and the instinct. The limitation of your gut is that it's really easy to ignore it or drown it out if you're constantly inside your head. Enter the third and my favorite, the heart, emotional values type of intelligence. The heart is absolutely your center of emotional truth and values. Organizations like the Heart Math Institute have explored how the heart actually communicates with the brain and plays a role in our emotional regulation and our coherence and our clarity. The heart answers a different question. Not does this make sense, but does this feel true to who I am? And that is all of what we are about in this podcast. The strength of the heart is that there's alignment, there's authenticity, and there's meaning. The limitation of the heart is that it's really easy to be drowned out and overridden by fear, pressure, overanalyzing, or external expectations. So why all this matters is because you can actually make a decision that looks good, sounds good, is very impressive to other people, checks a lot of boxes, and still, yet, you feel completely misaligned living it. And if you are not in that boat right now, I bet you know someone who's living that life. This is the gap between performing success and actually living it. Head-only decisions often lead to great performance. Integrated decisions lead to performance and alignment. There's another layer to this that I really thought we should talk about, and that's decision fatigue. We're making thousands of decisions every single day. Psychologist Roy Baumeister has done extensive research on decision fatigue, showing that the more decisions we make, the more our cognition resources get depleted. So if you rely on your brain only to make decisions, you will exhaust yourself even sooner. But when you integrate, you actually access faster clarity. If you just have a second to check in with yourself, you can reduce the overthinking and you end up conserving some of your energy. Here's a simple way to apply this immediately. When you're facing a decision, ask yourself three questions. So head, does this make sense? Heart, does this feel aligned with who I am? And gut, does this feel right or are we off here? And here's the key. If all three aligned, you go for it. If one feels off, even one, you pause. Don't force clarity because confusion is often not lack of information. It's actually lack of alignment. This doesn't just apply to personal decisions, it also applies to how you lead. There's a difference between discussion where people are defending positions and dialogue where people are actually seeking to understand and explore perspectives. Aligned leaders create space for both. They don't rush decisions just to be efficient. They actually understand that better decisions come from integration, not pressure. Then it feels good, you feel like yourself, you're living authentically, you're living in congruence, you have more coherence in your body and in your life. Most people think they need better answers. What I'm finding is actually what they need is a better way to listen to themselves, to their bodies, to what's actually true for them. And if you're in a season where decisions feel heavy or you're feeling exhausted or unclear or overwhelmed, please don't push harder. This is my mistake that I used to make, and I don't do it anymore. I start to go that way and I stop myself and say, not this time, because it's actually a sign that I need to just realign myself. This is the work that I've been doing with my coaching clients, and it helps them move from overthinking and second guessing into more clarity and more confidence, aligned action and happier lives. If that's something you're ready for, I would absolutely love to meet you and work with you. If this episode hit home with you and you're realizing that the challenge isn't a lack of options, but a lack of clarity or alignment in how you're making decisions, I want you to stop and think about reaching out. We take what feels overwhelming or not clear, and we can turn it into really grounded confident action. And if this episode was helpful, please share it with someone who might need it. Or take a moment to rate and review. This helps me and it also helps more people find conversations just like this. So before you go, I want to leave you with this. First, I want to thank you so much for spending your time with me. There's a million ways you could spend your time, and I'm doing my best to make this a worthwhile use and to make this transformative for you. You don't need more information. You just need a better way to listen to yourself, to your intuition, to your values, to what actually feels right for you. And if you are at a point where you feel like that feels unclear or difficult to access, that's something you don't have to navigate alone. If you found value in this episode again, please subscribe and share. And thank you so much. Until next time, I would love to hear from you. I hope you just count me in