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Spiritual Bookshelf Episode 31 :How to initiate self-change? Part 3

飛利浦 Phillip

Hi there! How was your week?

Welcome back to our series on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Today, we’re diving into two powerful habits:

5.Put First Things First

Last time, we talked about Begin with the End in Mind – where we learned how to identify our values and life goals, like using a compass to find our direction in life.

Now this Habit is all about making decisions based on those values. It’s not just time management – it’s life management. It’s about asking ourselves: Am I spending time on what really matters?

Highly effective people focus most of their time on Quadrant 2 – the important but not urgent things. Why? Because over time, those actions lead to big positive results.

Most people spend their lives jumping between Quadrants 1 and 3, reacting to what’s urgent, and missing out on the deeper things that truly matter. That’s why we need the discipline and courage to say no to distractions – even the ones that seem important – in order to make room for what really matters.

A professor once showed his students a big empty jar, along with rocks, pebbles, sand, and water. He asked, “Can we fit all of this into the jar?”

The students tried putting in the sand and water first – but then the big rocks couldn’t fit.

The professor then demonstrated: Put the big rocks in first, then the pebbles, then the sand, and finally the water – and everything fit perfectly.

The lesson? If we don’t prioritize the “big rocks” – the most important things in life – our time will be filled with less important stuff, and we’ll have no room left for what really matters.

Here are a few practical ways we can apply this habit in our own lives:

1)Plan your week ahead – schedule your “Quadrant 2” tasks first.

Things like exercise, reading, quality time with your family, or career planning.

2)Set goals by roles –

Covey suggests identifying your key roles (like parent, manager, friend, learner) and setting one meaningful goal for each every week.

3)Be flexible, but stick to your principles –

Life is unpredictable, but if we know what’s most important, we can adjust without losing direction.

Remember: The key is not to prioritize your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

6.Think Win-Win – “You’re Not an Island”

Success doesn’t have to come at the expense of others. Highly effective people know how to build relationships based on trust and mutual benefit.

Covey also shares a personal story about his son. His son didn’t want to do chores, and every interaction turned into a power struggle. Eventually, Covey stopped commanding and started collaborating. They sat down and made an agreement together – about responsibilities, rewards, and expectations. The result? His son became more responsible and their relationship got better.

Win-win is not about compromising or giving in. It’s about finding a solution both sides can feel good about – one that respects both perspectives. Win-win starts with believing there’s a better way – not just “you win or I win,” but a third option that’s better for everyone.

And that brings us to the end of today’s episode!

What did you take away from today’s habits? Maybe you can try identifying your big rocks this week – or practice thinking win-win in a difficult conversation.

If you found today’s episode helpful, feel free to subscribe and share it with a friend who might need it too.

May your week be filled with clarity, courage, and compassion. Take care, and see you next time!