Spiritual Bookshelf Episode 72 ：The Practice of Feeling at Ease: Breaking the "False Causality", Part 5

Hi everyone, welcome back to the show. I’m Phillip. Today we’re continuing our conversation about the book The Practice of Feeling at Ease.

In this episode, we’re focusing on a key idea from Chapter Four: feelings of inferiority, and an important concept Adler talked about, sometimes translated as “apparent causality” or what we might call false cause-and-effect. It’s when we say things like, “Because I’m like this, I can’t do that.” It sounds logical, right? “Because I didn’t go to a top school, I can’t succeed.” “Because my family was poor, I’m naturally insecure.” “Because I was hurt before, I can’t trust anyone now.” On the surface, these statements make sense. But Kishimi reminds us that sometimes these explanations are stories our brain creates to protect us. They feel safe.

When someone strongly believes in this kind of cause-and-effect thinking, they slowly move toward a kind of determinism. Life feels like a script that was written long ago. “My childhood was unhappy, so of course my adult life will be difficult.” “I was criticized growing up, so I’m just not good enough.” It sounds helpless, but it quietly takes away something very important: your sense of agency. You stop being the author of your life and become the victim of your circumstances. Over time, it becomes easier to blame the past than to develop the skills needed to deal with the present.

What’s even more subtle is that this mindset can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe “I’m not lovable,” you might become suspicious and overly sensitive in relationships. You might test your partner again and again. Eventually, they get tired and leave. Then you say, “See? I knew it.” 

So how do we break this cycle? Kishimi offers a practical direction. The first step is to identify your hidden goal. The next time you say, “Because of this, I can’t do that,” pause and ask yourself: If I actually succeeded, what responsibility would I have to take on? 

The second step is to take back your power to interpret. Adler said what matters is not what you experienced, but the meaning you give to it. 

The third step is to separate facts from interpretations. A fact is something that happened. An interpretation is the story you attach to it. “My parents divorced” is a fact. “Marriage is unreliable” is an interpretation. “I was betrayed” is a fact. “I can never trust anyone” is an interpretation. When you see the difference, you realize you’ve had the power to redefine your story all along.

The fourth step is to shift your focus from the past to the present. False causality keeps looking backward. But change only happens now. Instead of asking, “Why did I become like this?” try asking, “What small action can I take today?” 

Another example is social anxiety. Someone might say, “Because I’m introverted, I’m not suited for social situations.” But introversion is a personality tendency, not a life sentence. The deeper issue may be fear of rejection. When you admit that fear honestly, you give yourself a chance to practice slowly, instead of labeling yourself as permanently incapable.

Before we end, I want to invite you to reflect on one question. Is there a sentence in your mind right now that says, “Because of this, I can’t do that”? Maybe it’s about your age, your background, or a past failure. Try writing that sentence down. Then ask yourself: Is this truly an unchangeable cause-and-effect? Or is it a shield I’ve been using to protect myself? And if you’re ready, maybe you can say to your younger, wounded self, “Thank you for protecting me. But now I’d like to try a new way.”

Thank you for listening. I’m Phillip. I’ll see you next time, and we’ll keep practicing this feeling of ease together.