Welcome to Friday Feelings! Emotions Matter, Let's Talk About It

Welcome to the inaugural episode of Friday Feelings, where emotions meet empowerment. Host Jenelle Friday introduces the podcast’s mission: to transform emotions into actionable power and vulnerability into strength. Joined by her friend and catalyst, Roger Mendez, they dive into the foundational principles of Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

Discover the science behind emotions, the importance of self-awareness, and how thoughts shape your reality. Roger shares personal stories about overcoming challenges like imposter syndrome and navigating emotional catalysts that shaped his journey. Together, they explore why emotions matter in personal and professional relationships and offer practical tools to manage overwhelming feelings.

Tune in to hear why two emotions can coexist, how to avoid the trap of absolutes, and why embracing your emotions is the first step to authentic transformation. Plus, don’t miss actionable advice from Roger on navigating negativity and finding your lane in life.

Key Takeaways:

• Understand the four pillars of EQ and their impact on relationships.
• Learn how thoughts create emotions, and emotions drive behavior.
• Practical strategies for managing emotions and thriving in both personal and professional settings.

🎙️ Subscribe now and join us every Friday for more inspiring stories, expert insights, and actionable tips to transform your life through tactical Emotional Intelligence.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hello and welcome to the Friday Feelings podcast, where we turn emotions into power, vulnerability into strength, and remind you to feel everything, fear nothing, and transform your life. I'm so excited to kick off this podcast with my very good friend Roger Mendez. We're going to get a little bit about why he's here with me today and the stories he has to share. But I wanted to start this podcast by kind of getting into the background of emotional intelligence, which is where all of this is coming from. Emotional intelligence is your ability to understand and identify what you feel, why you feel that way, and then successfully navigate and manage your own emotions, how that impacts other people, how that impacts your decision making, how that takes over sometimes when in it when negative emotions are so overwhelming that you can't think straight and you misstep. I have had a lifetime of missteps because emotions are a difficult thing to navigate. And more than anything, what I've found in my studies of emotional intelligence is that you are not a victim to your thoughts or emotions, that you absolutely can manage successfully and navigate successfully emotions when you understand where your emotions come from, when you understand the role that your thoughts play into your emotions, and when you learn the tools and skills that help you manage that process. So as we get into this conversation about emotions, it's important to me to first identify that emotions are not your enemy. Good emotions, bad emotions, they are all part of the human experience that you will never get rid of. So emotional intelligence is not the removal of emotions. Emotional intelligence says understand your emotions so that you can then manage them. So understanding emotions in self-awareness means you got to know who you are, right? And I ask a lot of people that question of who are you? Right. So if I said to Roger, Roger, take away your spouse, your kids, your job, your home, your hobbies, because those are all labels. And I asked you, who are you? What remains?

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Ooh, this is a great question.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

I would say, but I want to just start with that question because that's where this journey starts of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. And it starts with that question of who are you? To your core, who are you?

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Yeah, you know, I I love that question because I feel like I am what you see is what you get. Like I'm somebody that really entails um energy, creativity, innovation. And so I tell people joking around, I'm just kind of jacked up on life normally. So I get excited about things. So like uh I just feel like a positive person. If I if I hear a fun song that I'm dancing in my car, I'm like, ooh, this song really does it for me. Like, I'm just really excited about life. And so that's what who I am. I feel like that's something that I try to really cultivate, but who I am deep down inside.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

That's awesome. So let's turn, let's, let's just have you continue and and uh help us get to know you a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Yeah, yeah. Well, first and foremost, you know, I was so excited. Um, I just felt like you know, meeting you a few months ago, like just kindred spirits, like excited that this topic is something that we really don't talk about as much, and it's something that's really just driven the course of my life and something I'm really excited about. So a little bit about me. I'm originally from uh San Jose, California. Um I grew up there and then um ended up moving to Utah to go to school there. And over the last eight years, I've been working for a tech company, Cisco, out of the Bay Area. Um, and that's kind of where we connected. We're focusing on customer success. So I've been leading their strategic programs for the last couple years, but I was actually part of their first customer success team at Cisco, um, which is really exciting just because people think about customer success being this very mature and well thought out process. And actually, you know, 7.8 years ago, I uh months ago, we were part of our first customer success team at Cisco. And so wow, to cultivate this journey of understanding and knowing where we've started to where we are now. So that's what's been really exciting. And yeah, currently still live in Utah. I love to travel, love to go explore new places, but uh that's a little bit about me.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

I love it. And and so we met at a customer success collective event in San Francisco. You were one of the speakers, and I was your MC. And you were the first speaker that like got engaged with the audience and brought people out of their chairs and made people laugh. And like, it was so engaging that after it, I was like, I I gotta talk to this guy. And so we had a really great conversation, got to know each other, and then we saw each other again in Sundance, Utah at CS100, and we're sitting down to dinner, and you came over and you're like, Can I sit next to you? And come on, have some food. And you asked me about a podcast. Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Yes, yes, I do. I, well, first of all, I was so touched when we talked the first time at the San Francisco Customer Success Success Collective. And it's interesting because I feel like sometimes when we go to events like that, people are like, Well, this is how you get a higher output of success. This is how you get people to work harder. But like when you were MCing and we were talking about the emotional IQ and intelligence of it, I was like, ooh, that really resonated with me because that's something I'm really passionate about. And then I remember when we sat down at the dinner table and I was like, you, your voice needs to be heard. Like I will get up on this table, I'll start screaming at people that you need to hear Janelle. But I think it was just something where I'm like, hey, I just feel like not only did it impact me, but I feel like there's others that need to hear this message, and I think it's so strong and powerful. And so I think that's why I was like, hey, have you ever thought about doing a podcast?

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Well, and of course I have, but it it's a lot. It was a lot, it was very overwhelming for me because just really in 2024 has been this rocket ship. You know, I I started really by um I was elected customer success leader of the year through the CSC for 2023. They offered me a chance to be a keynote speaker on Valentine's Day of 20 of this year, 2024. And it was my first keynote. And I remember I was so nervous. Like my husband flew out just to sit in the audience because I was so anxious and nervous. And I think the night before, he's like, Would you put your computer away? You don't need to edit the talk track anymore. You know, you're gonna be fine. And I mean, that's where I met people like um Rob Zambito and Alex Turkovic and some of these people that have become very dear friends because of their support. But that was like my my first step of like, oh, I I I do have something to say, and I can articulate this, you know, pretty decently. And um 2024 has just been an incredible path of meeting people like you who are passionate about talking about the things that matter because I love a good conference. We love to hear about customer success being a revenue engine and how sales and CS can partner. And you know, we kind of hear the same topics. To me, I'm really focused on the boots on the ground people.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Because for forever I was the CSM boots on the ground, and I feel like they, those individuals need support. And part of the way that we support people is by being there for them when life happens, because life is unpredictable, right? We have things that are thrown at us all the time, and I have always been one of those people that when you hear that phrase, it's not personal, it's just business. Just my skin prickles a little bit because it's never just business, unless it's one computer talking to another, it's transactional. If there's a person involved, that means there are emotions involved, and emotions are always personal, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

So that means that business relationships and transactions between two people is personal, and so we can't ignore them. If you do try to ignore them, it actually makes them worse. And we created working spaces and culture and environments that are scary to be in because we don't feel safe, we don't feel heard, we don't feel seen. Um, so one of the things I really want to highlight on this first episode is this um, the the truth about where our emotions come from. So let's get into the science a little bit. When you have a thought, so let's pick a thought. So, Roger, give me a negative thought that you've had maybe in the morning that took you off track a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Yeah, I would say just like a times waking up and determining what kind of day is it gonna be. Like, so even like Sunday night where you get the Sunday scary, is waking up Monday morning, looking at your calendar and thinking like, oh, today's gonna be a busy day, or today's gonna be like, oh, it's just gonna be jam-packed, I gotta go do this, like, and just already having some negative thoughts around the day.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Okay, perfect. So let's start there, right? So you you if you're listening to this podcast, you've woken up on a work day and gone, uh I don't want to go to work. And there could be, I'm tired, I'm irritated, I had a fight, I'm not feeling good. I mean, pick, pick, pick your reason. So you have a negative thought and it sits in your brain, right? It comes from that place in the brain. We're not really, we haven't quite figured out yet, but we know that the brain is electrical, right? And so it actually that thought generates an electrical signal that goes to your nervous system, to us to a nerve in your nervous system. That nerve interprets your thought to generate chemicals to the rest of your nervous system. So if the thought is, I don't want to go to work today because I don't really feel valued. I don't feel like my manager sees me, I don't feel like my company appreciates me. Oh boy, that thought goes to a nerve and that nerve goes, Oh, we're not valued, nobody likes us. Do we even contribute? What am I doing? Those chemicals go to the rest of your nervous system, and now all of a sudden you have emotions. That nervous system is generating chemicals in your body that turn into emotions. So when people say your thoughts create your reality in this light, that is absolutely correct. The things that you think generate your emotions, and your emotions drive your behavior. Unless you know how to manage your emotions, unless you're aware of ways to wrangle your emotions and get them under control, those emotions drive you forward. And so when we when we realize that and we think really think through that science, it means that the things that you think are creating your path forward. So if you are someone who dwells on the negative, ruminates on the negative, gets caught in the negative, and you have a really difficult time getting yourself out of that mentality, I'm gonna ask you to sit back and take a look at how has your behavior been influenced by that, right? Depression, anxiety, fear, we all struggle with those emotions. And really, my goal of this podcast as a whole is to equip you with tools to help you understand how your brain works, how your body is connected to your brain, and how you don't have to be victim to your thoughts or emotions, that you are not a slave to the thoughts in your mind. You have the ability to control them, change them, and edit your path forward as much as you can, realizing that life is still gonna be unpredictable, right? So that's the that's the foundation of where I'm coming from because in 2020 I had a catalyst in my life. It led me to find this term of emotional intelligence, completely bury myself in everything I could get my hands on and apply it to my own life. The transformation I've seen in my own life, the transformation that I'm helping others find through mentoring, the Lionheart boot camp, just my attempt to pass on that knowledge so that people feel the same sense of, okay, I'm not perfect, but I can prepare and I can challenge myself in those moments and wow, have some victory over really deep, dark emotions that has led me off path in the past, right? I want to be able to give that. So this podcast is going to be every Friday, Friday Feelings. Roger, you came up with that name. Actually, I think your name was uh what did you say your what was the original? Do you remember? Maybe maybe it was uh Feelings with Friday. Maybe it's something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feelings with Friday, which I love. I've just I was gonna shorten that title a little bit. Um there's a new guest each week. So we I'm bringing in some incredible individuals who are just going to talk about their experience with a very specific emotion and give you best practices, give you tips that help them, give you actionable items for you to take and try. And the key thing about when you hear someone give you advice is it may not work for you, right? And the way they go about it may not work for you, but your method will, your way will. And so the one thing I want to emphasize to those of you listening is if Roger gives you advice today, which he will, and if it doesn't work, don't be discouraged because not everything works for everyone. The key is if you think about your life as an equation, there are different components of an equation. X minus Z equals Y. I probably have that backwards, but you know what I'm saying. So find the components that work for you and don't get discouraged if you try something that someone else offers and it doesn't work for you because it's not meant to work for everybody. The key is you gotta find your own lane. Okay, so we're gonna dive into here with Roger. I really want to get into his time, his story, uh, and why I'm so excited to have him here with us today. So, Roger, I want to talk about why emotions matter. Why do emotions matter to you, especially in the sense of a business professional life?

SPEAKER_03 14:25

Yeah, I would say um that's why I think um I created my passion around customer success. Like I didn't even know customer success existed like eight, nine years ago. Like I actually was a background in social media and marketing. Um, I actually used to work for a company running all of their social media presence. And like I remember something that I really loved about it was being a voice of the customer. So, like a customer would come to our page and say, like, oh, like this is what's happening. I'm not really happy with our product. I would be a voice of reason and also try to be a brand advocate, but also work for that customer, almost being a consultant for them. And I just love that they would come back to our page and say, Oh my gosh, I had this great experience with this company. I love it so much. And so when my friend told me that his company was starting customer success, I was like, What is customer success? Like I thought it was a support function or something where it's more of a break fix, where it's more reactive. But it sounded like there was an opportunity to be proactive. And so I think this is why emotions matter in the business acumen setting. It's like um being able to really identify and sit with some of our customers, but people that we work with day in and day out, to understand where they're coming from, understand that we can be kind of this conduit to have connection not only through our company, but also really working with those that we really care about. And that's everybody, right? Everybody's included. So I think that's something where I was like, emotions matter. They're they're really important. So this is something that I've been just a huge advocate for since I've really started working in the tech field.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

I love that. And and you know, customer success is such a um, it's a very loose term because it means different things to different people. Um, but really I think what we're what we're we both love is the relationship part, building and maintaining really healthy relationships. That is for me and my personal life as well as my business professional life, right? And that's really where I think I found my lane in customer success because it's about relationships at the end of the day. And relationships with people is about emotions. Right. So um let's start with self-awareness for you.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Do you think there was a catalyst or a moment in your life where you were, wow, I need to be more self-aware?

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Yes, yes, I do. I feel like um, especially there's a word that you hit on earlier in the podcast that really has resonated with my life. It's the word rumination. And I feel like um growing up, um, especially so just a little bit of background on me. Like, so my mom is um she was a foreign exchange student from South America. Um, and so I actually do carry my mom's maiden name. She had all sisters, there's a huge fight with my dad in regards to saying, can you please take on my family name just because it's so important to me? And so um it's just been really awesome that like you know, I kind of come from that background. And so the the reason why I bring that up is because my mom, you know, she came to the US, met my dad, he's from California. And when they had me, like it was just something where you know I was filled with the home of love and and curiosity and component, but I understood that my parents, you know, came from different backgrounds and and for them to identify their connection and things. And so the reason why I say this so much is I feel like my mom's side of her family, like there was really this whole thing of like, hey, you're either good or you're bad. And when you're good, you have this whole feeling of like validation and connection, and when you're bad, like, you know, like you've dishonored the family, not really, but like that's kind of where she grew up. And so, like, there's this whole thought around rumination of like, hey, like, as I've grown up, like, you know, I want to be, and I know we're not on video, but quote unquote good. And so, like, I think being self-aware and building this kind of awareness around like, hey, I don't want to be caught in this good or bad thing. I really want to be caught in more of how can I enjoy the present moment? And like, and that's where self-awareness has really come into my life, where I'm like, what can I, what how can I tap into like my five senses? How can I really be aware of what's happening right now? Because if I don't do that, then I'm gonna miss out on life and I'm gonna start really getting caught up in like, oh, am I doing something good enough, or am I ready enough, or am I this? So I think that's where self-awareness has really kind of been this little fire inside of me that like it's kind of just grown thicker and stronger over time, where I'm like, I love being in tune with the present moment. It's just beautiful, it's a gift.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

So you said that so well. I love that being present in the moment. Uh, we also use the term mindful, being mindful. And so when we really I want to talk a little bit through the details of that. So when you think about self-awareness, uh, sorry, excuse me, emotional intelligence, there's four primary pillars. Uh, there's two that focus on loving yourself, and there are two that focus on loving other people. The two that focus on loving on yourself are self-awareness and uh self-management. Self-awareness is not being nice to people. Self-awareness is not, are you aware that when you talk and you don't smile, you come across like a no? And that's true for me. I was not aware of my face. I have to be more aware. Yes, that's self-awareness. But the self-awareness that I'm talking about is again answering that question of who are you? Why do you do what you do? Why do you have the emotions you have? Why do you have the motivation that you have? Where do your drivers come from? Why do you have the emotional triggers that you have? They came from somewhere. Where do they come from? And are you aware of those emotions? Um, and so then the two pillars that focus on loving others are social awareness and relationship management. So social awareness being do you understand how you impact other people? And are you aware of how other people impact you? And then relationship management is how do you then build and maintain healthy relationships moving forward, whether they're personal or business, that's what emotional intelligence is, it's the culmination of that. And so I kind of describe self-awareness as the front door to EQ.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

If you're not self-aware, you can't manage your own emotions. If you're not self-aware, you have no idea how you're impacting the people around you. If you're not self-aware, you're gonna have a really difficult time maintaining relationships because your emotions are gonna get the better of you sometimes and potentially burn bridges, which is where I found myself, right? So self-awareness is where we start. And I think self-awareness can get a little bit heavy because for me, self-awareness meant I had to go back into some really difficult childhood memories, some really uncomfortable horribleness that nobody wants to walk through that. Nobody wants to go back and face trauma of their past or hurt feelings or betrayals or any of that. But what I've learned through my journey is you have to. You can't bury it, you can't ignore it because it's almost like it was a weed that had infiltrated every part of my life and it would sprout up and prick me with thorns when I least expect it. And I'm like, where did this come from? And oh, well, it actually stemmed from something that happened to you when it when you were a kid and I didn't even know, right? So I want to hear from you, Roger, on a tell tell me a story. Tell us a story of when you had an emotional catalyst that made you step back and go, Oh, I I got some things I gotta work on.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

Yeah, yeah. I would say, um, so growing up, I would say that um, you know, one thing that really resonates with me when you talked about an emotional catalyst. So um So growing up, like I had the opportunity, so I'm an only child. And so I had the opportunity to getting all the gifts and stuff. And so my my parents both worked in tech. Um, and so like I spent a lot of time like with my grandma. She would actually live lived with my parents and like I was raised with them. And so um, but around the age of middle school, I used to come out here in Utah for the summers and spend time with my aunt and uncle. Um, and really enjoyed like just, you know, my cousin was my best friend growing up. And so um begged my parents if I could come to school here in Utah um and hang out with my my cousin, was my best friend and us to connect together. And um, you know, my aunt and uncle are the most incredible people, like for them to take on, like somebody during school year, I loved it so much. But I would say that that was kind of my first moment or my emotional catalyst, and we can talk more about it later, where it's like more of that. I, you know, I lived with my aunt and uncle, I was away in Utah, I was 13, 14 years old, and I was so devastatingly sad to be away from my mom and dad. And um, I just remember like the whole process of coming and going was so hard, and I didn't really know how to process those emotions. And so, like, you know, and it showed up for me in different ways. Like, I was like a really athletic, healthy kid, and I started gaining a lot of weight. Um, I just kind of started seeing that like I wanted to like really, you know, fit in and like really trying to understand kind of my culture and my teammates. Uh, I mean not my teammates, my classmates, and like really trying to have a voice. And and so like for me, I think that's where emotions started driving kind of like my behavior of like, oh, like, you know, whether I would close up and just be like, hey, like I'm gonna suffer through this, like, you know, even though I was so happy to live with my aunt and uncle, like I just didn't know how to process my emotions at 13. Like, I think that's why we all go to way at college when we're adults, but like when you're like kind of more of a pre-teenager, like, you know, it's a really hard moment to like really say, hey, like I'm I'm transitioning from one life to the other. Yeah, and these are amazing people, and I love living here, but I'm like, I just really miss my mom and dad still. So, like, just I think that was kind of the start of like, why are my emotions kind of flaring or triggering at different moments in my life where I'm like, hey, this is something's happening here. I'm really trying to understand why that that's happening, right?

SPEAKER_02 24:24

So yeah, well, I mean, you and you're talking about a rough age too. I don't think any of you couldn't pay me enough money to go back to that age. Uh, there's no amount of money I would pay, right? It's a really rough place to be. And I think too, especially today, we are so bombarded by tech and AI that it's almost like we don't know how to deal with emotions because we're drowning it out with media, with phones, with TikTok, with right, three different screens that we work at. You know, we we have a very overwhelming amount of tech in our lives, which I love some technology, others, it's like I think it drowns out our thoughts and emotions. And and we I lean into that. I mean, I don't know about you, but like when I'm emotional, I would love to go sit on the couch and binge watch a TV show because I don't want to think about what's driving my emotions, right?

SPEAKER_03 25:16

So, so true. And and that's how I feel as well, where it's like uh it's you know, sometimes it's that shortcut that we're looking for, right? Where our emotions are present, they're here. There's actually a book that I love called uh it's by Russ Harris, and it talks about kind of the happiness trap. And he talks about how like our life is like at times with our emotions, we're on this boat. And if we're heading somewhere where it's very uncomfortable with our emotions, it's almost like these scary monsters come underneath the boat and they try to make us shrink. And so, like, we kind of make this bargain with them that says, Hey, hey, if I drift aimlessly, like you guys can go back under the boat. And and so, like, I think that's what you were mentioning, where it's like, hey, I'm gonna go turn on the show for a few hours, I'm gonna go disconnect, but I'm kind of you know reinforcing that emotion to say, hey, whenever something difficult or scary comes up, we're gonna come even louder. And so I think that's something that's like it's just really interesting how like, you know, our our bodies are kind of built and equipped like that a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

So well, and I think you call out a really important thing to mention, which is your brain and body are habitual. They like habits. And so if you're someone, and I and I love the visual because I love visual representation, um you're on a boat, you're headed down your path, and all of a sudden we're heading into a negative emotion, whether it's a hurt feeling, whether it's a betrayal, whether it's you don't feel valued at work, you have imposter syndrome. And as those monsters come up around the boat and we feel overwhelmed by those negative emotions, we would rather be adrift, right? If we do that over and over and over, we're actively telling our brains, I can't handle it, I can't handle it, I can't handle it. And we're building and we're building and we're building. Well, eventually, those negative emotions are going to come back in full force. And whether you want to deal with them or not, they're gonna come out. They're gonna tip that boat over, they're gonna hurt somebody else that you don't want to hurt, they're gonna burn a bridge, they're going to write fill in the blank. So I'm curious, Roger, if you have any example of a time where your emotions got the better of you and you had to learn a lesson.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I would say that um for me, one of the biggest things with um emotions is I think one of one example I I think of specifically is um just growing up when um, you know, especially when I first started at Cisco, uh, I felt a little bit of the imposter syndrome, a little bit you could say, where like my emotions had the better of me. That um am I good enough? Am I ready enough? Am I, you know, somebody in the aspect of like, can I actually do this? And I felt it's interesting when you start feeling that kind of thought pattern, you almost start feeling those emotions of fear and and guilt and shame and and feelings that I'm like necessarily I'm not doing anything wrong or anything that goes against my value. I'm actually doing something that like I'm really excited about, but this fear and guilt and shame is kind of showing up, and these emotions are kind of like really starting to affect like what my thought pattern is about kind of who I am. And so, um, and so I think for me in that instance, like it's taken me years now. I you know, I've been at Cisco for almost eight years, but um, and and I want to go back to what you're saying is like I think one thing that's really stuck out in my mind, and spoil alert for everyone that's listening that struggles with emotions is you know, our brains aren't built for happiness, they're actually built for survival. And so, like when we start feeling those emotions, like I feel like, you know, instinctively we're trying to protect ourselves, but in reality, like they don't fit the facts of the situation and who we are. And so, um, so I think that's something that like, you know, in that instance where I felt like, I'm like, am I good enough? Am I ready enough? And I and I think it just kind of affected how I went day to day with my life and my work, like, especially being a part of a new team. Like, I just felt like I really cared so much of like, hey, I don't want to mess up. I don't want to look like I I you know I created, you know, some sort of mistake here. And and so I think that's where um you know emotions have really kind of driven that sometimes for sure. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

Well, we're we're actually over time, which is okay for our first episode, I think. Um let's um let's let's let's close our time together today, Roger. And and don't worry, Roger's coming back. So his wonderfulness will return in another episode. Um, but Roger, I I would love for you to kind of give our listeners a takeaway. So when we talk about emotions and that feeling of uh overwhelming emotions, right? Give give me an example of something that you do today to help yourself when negative emotions, anxiety, depression, fear, imposter syndrome kind of threaten to take over. What's what's one thing you would offer as advice to our listeners today?

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Yeah, I love that question. I would say that the the two biggest takeaways that I would say around that is first, that more than one emotion or feeling can exist at the same time. Yes. And so I hope that our readers, like our listeners can like really take that away and get really curious about that. So, like one of the things that I love to feel is that hey, I can be excited and nervous about something. Yeah, I can be tired and inspired, I can be working towards something and really worried if I'm gonna get it. And so, like both of those things can exist at the same time. It doesn't have to be so single-minded. Like, I'm actually a huge geek, I love Star Wars, and there's this behind me on my shelf. Well, like, and and I love Star Wars because it talks about those mindfulness and being present with the force, which I feel is is our feelings. And there's a scene with Obi-Wan and Anakin and they're battling out, and Anakin tells Obi-Wan, He, Hey, you're either with me or against me. And Obi-Wan says, Well, only Sith Lords think in absolutes. And so I want the readers to take that if two emotions can exist at the same time, also absolutes are really something that I highly recommend you removing out of your life because you can't always or never do something. And like sometimes we go say, You never do this, or you're always doing this. And so, something that's really a good reminder for me if I hear an absolute, I knock on wood, like just because that's something that helps me to say, Hey, that's an axe, that's an absolute. That you can't really never be doing something. Um, and so once you guys start like, at least I say guys listeners, like one thing that I really think is helpful is when you start kind of approaching that, like it actually helps decrease the intensity of emotions. And so it's really cool when you start calling those things out to say, hey, my emotions aren't facts. Two things can exist at the same time, and I'm really gonna try to reduce my absolutes. And I think you're gonna start noticing that emotions can kind of decrease a little bit there.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

So that is brilliant, and what an a what a beautiful way to ring in the new year with some practical advice from Roger today. Um, Roger, where can people connect with you?

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Yeah, um, they can find me on LinkedIn. Um, and um, so Roger Mendez, search Cisco. Um, that's something that connect with me. I've actually taken a social media break. I have my LinkedIn, and honestly, it's been the most amazing thing. I've been more present in the moment. I love it. So I don't know if I'll go back, but I probably will. I've just deactivated right now. But yeah, connect with me on LinkedIn. Um, and obviously you have my contact email. So if there's ever a deeper question, then people feel free to reach out to me over email. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:55

So well, this has been an absolute delight. Roger, thank you for being here and for being my catalyst to launch Friday Feelings uh and just your generosity and your kindness and your support. It means so much to me. So thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Likewise, happy to be here. It's been an amazing time.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Awesome. Well, as we wrap today's episode, I want to encourage you to be inspired, to feel deeply, to be fearless in your pursuit of your emotions and to live authentically. Keep leaning into your feelings because ultimate transformation really starts within and it starts with your thoughts. So be mindful of your thoughts, be present in your thoughts. Um, and I cannot wait to see you next Friday. Talk to you soon.