Setting Boundaries: What is it Costing You By Not Having Them?

Healthy boundaries are often misunderstood.  They are either seen as walls that keep people out or as selfish ultimatums. But what if boundaries are actually bridges to stronger relationships, better communication, and deeper emotional resilience?

In this powerful episode of Friday Feelings, host Jenelle Friday welcomes guest Suzy Goodwin, a health educator, marathon mom of four, and boundary-setting expert, for a deeply honest and tactical conversation about what it really means to set boundaries that honor your worth. Suzy shares her personal journey from burnout to balance, including how a time audit helped her stop people-pleasing and reclaim her energy. Together, they explore the emotional intelligence behind boundary-setting, how to differentiate between self-preservation and selfishness, and how to handle the guilt that often shows up when we start saying “no.”

You’ll learn:

• How to identify your personal and professional boundary needs
• What a time audit is and how to use it to gain clarity
• A script you can use when saying no (without apologizing!)
• Why boundary-setting is an act of kindness—for yourself and others
• How to deal with emotional energy drains before they lead to burnout

If you're tired of stretching yourself too thin, saying yes when you mean no, or navigating relationships that leave you depleted, this episode is the reset you’ve been waiting for.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Okay, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Friday Feelings, where we turn emotions into power, vulnerability into strength, and remind you to feel everything, fear nothing, and transform your life. I'm your host, Janelle Friday. And this episode is a really special episode because of what we are talking about, right? We are talking about setting healthy boundaries. This is a topic that I think we assume a lot of things, we hear it said a lot, but do we really know what that means and how to do it? And I'm delighted to introduce our guest today, Miss Susie Goodwin. Susie, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me today.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

I'm really glad to be here, and this is a great thing to discuss.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Highly agree. So um I would love for you to give just a little bit of background of you, right? Um, what led you to want to talk about boundaries? Why is this topic important to you? So yeah, just tell us about you.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Absolutely. So um, so that you'll know, my formal education is in public health and health education specifically. So that's one of the reasons around that boundary setting. Um, I do have a master's in health promotion and I'm a certified health education specialist. So, what that means is that I spent the first portion of my career actually in an employee benefit setting being a provider, i.e., walking people through coaching programs around stress management, around um lifestyle management for healthier decisions, um, and setting boundaries was a tool that we used a lot for various circumstances. And I honestly think it's one of those tools everyone needs in their tool belt, no matter what.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

100%. And it's something I'm, you know, I think we can we can bridge the gap between, okay, what's the difference between a professional boundary and a personal boundary? I want to make this very clear right out of the get-go that when I talk about her personal setting boundaries, it's one of the most loving things that you can do, not just for ourselves, yourself, but for the relationships that you have. And so what I want to do today is dive into what it takes to set boundaries with clarity, confidence, and compassion internally for yourself. Because when you understand what your boundaries are, whether it's personal or professional, it's based on who you are as a person. What are your morals and values? Why do you have a certain sense that, hey, this isn't really something I want to discuss with this individual? That's a boundary. It could be, hey, with this specific individual, I just know that I'm here to serve and to love and to give. I cannot expect anything from that individual. And from a professional perspective, right? Professional boundaries need some further clarification because I can say from a professional boundary that I'm not going to talk about this certain thing in my personal life because this is my work environment. But what is the truth? The truth is that you will talk about certain things with specific people because you build trust, right? So I think encompassing when we talk about boundaries from a from a general perspective, right? Boundaries are not technically walls. Boundaries are actually bridges to healthier communication and connection because you know yourself well enough to trust those interactions and the boundaries that you're going to have with each individual person you meet, whether they're professional or personal, right? Susie, am I kind of hitting on uh really what we're talking about today from your perspective?

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Absolutely. I mean, obviously, Janelle, we have to talk about boundaries in a general matter when we dive deep on this subject. But I love the fact that you're highlighting at work, we might have different boundaries than we do, say, in community or household relationships. You'll have time boundaries, right? At work that look different from your time boundaries maybe at home or in the community, even digital boundaries as far as online interactions. It it might depend on the role that you are in. Um, but but generally, like I like how you connected boundaries with also being very, very self-aware as a first step.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yeah, well, I mean, in order to set a boundary, you need to know what what you need as a boundary and why you need it as a boundary. And sometimes those whys are the biggest problem. You know, a lot of the things I focus on are around self-awareness. Because if I were to sit down and ask you, well, what are some personal boundaries that you have in your familial relationships? A lot of people are like, Well, I don't know. That was a thing for me too. Like having healthy boundaries with people that I love and I want to take care of and I want to serve. And so I just say yes to everything, which is not healthy. So let's dig in a little bit from your perspective why boundaries is such a critical aspect of emotional intelligence.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Well, you know, I think it's a kindness. I think setting boundaries, we hesitate to do it because we don't want to offend anybody or we don't want to ruffle feathers. Oh, don't want to set a boundary there. But if you think about it, setting boundaries is a kindness because consider the scenario where the other person doesn't want to hurt you. They are legit unaware that their actions are a violation. So, in this scenario, when you set a boundary, that becomes the really kind thing to do. I think this is really generalizing it, but it's almost like road signs for drivers. These are courtesies and rules and boundaries we are agreeing to that keep everyone safe.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

I I love that. And I and I I want to kind of think through like setting boundaries could be selfish, right? So um I have an individual in my life who I love, I would take a bullet for, right? Because I love this individual so much and there's so much history. But my mom kind of has said this thing, which is like when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Right. So from a from a personal perspective, I know who this person is, and therefore I have to set boundaries because I don't want to, I don't want to continue to be hurt because I expect something from them that I know they can't give me. That's a boundary, right? So sometimes setting boundaries can be selfish and they need to be selfish for your own soul protection, your own personal protection, right? Not expecting something from someone that they've proven to you they can't give you, versus setting boundaries as self-preservation, right? Selfishness, self-preservation. How do you determine a balance and really if someone's listening to this podcast, Susan, they're like, yeah, it's a nice concept, but I don't know how to set boundaries with people. I'm not even sure I understand how to go about it, right? Let's talk about the differences between those two things. That that setting boundaries is potentially selfish of me versus setting boundaries is self-preservation at something I need to do.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

I I think the selfish versus self-preservation really does come down to how are we talking to ourselves about said scenario? Because I'm gonna be really honest with you. Um, I think most of the time you need that self-preservation, and it is absolutely not selfish. Um, as we are considering scenarios, if someone is abusing emotional boundaries with you, right? If generally we're speaking, it's emotional boundaries, odds are they're doing it to other people too. So now is it really selfish to be training this person how to communicate with people? Again, you might be the only one speaking up or having the courage to set that boundary. So I would argue against that fact that, oh, it's it's self-preservation or it's this is about this thing that I want, because I would theorize that you're making either your work community or your neighborhood community, whatever setting we're speaking about, I would argue you're making it better because people don't know what they don't know. If somebody does not train them on emotional boundaries, I mean, we all uh physical boundaries are easier, I think, sometimes for people to wrap their head around. We all know that person that does not know personal space or they're a topper, right? They they're not going to stop unless somebody says something. Our emotions become harder to tackle, but um, think about physical space boundaries. Um, that would be what I would say to that person that's listening and thinking, oh, this is all getting really general and woo-woo. Um, think about physical boundaries and then have yourself go there as far as emotion. Where are people getting in your personal zone?

SPEAKER_00 9:05

Yeah, let's talk about that because I'm a hugger. So when I meet somebody for the first time and we've had a conversation, I want to give you a hug. That's just me because that personal boundary for me doesn't really exist. I just see it as a general or genuine, like, I'm so excited to meet you. I have plenty of people that put their hand up and say, I'm not a hugger, right? And that's because they know their personal boundary, they understand why that boundary exists, and they're not afraid to set that boundary with me because I make an assumption that everybody's good with hugging, right? So, so I want to throw that out there as an example that when we're talking about setting a boundary, it's not just a matter of going, well, what are my boundaries? Right. We have to identify what our boundaries are, and then we have to understand how to enforce those boundaries. And sometimes that's a really difficult thing. So let's kind of back up. And and Susie, I would love for you to give us uh your story of when for you, you realized that a boundary was needed and you had to figure out how to go about and set that boundary.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Yeah, you know, um, Janelle, like a lot of women, I have a hard time saying no. Um, and so when I became a mother, and for context audience, when I became a mother, it happened really fast and really furious. I had my son, and then not even two years later, I had triplets. So went from zero to four kids in less than two years. Wow. And essentially I had another very big, quite demanding role to fill. But see, rather than minimizing the things I was saying yes to, i.e., things in the community, groups that I wanted to serve, um, I maintained those yeses, um, extras at work, things in the community, and so on. And so it really left me in a deficit for energy because I had this new role with these new very important asks, but I didn't let anything go. Does that make sense? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

And I think a lot of people's describing my life at times.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Well, and I think um may maybe your listeners are not having triplets, you know what I mean, or at least for their um sleep hygiene. I hope not. Uh, but I mean, we all have been there where we are afraid to say no and the plate just fills and it fills and it fills, and you feel like you are treading water. And there's a real, you know, there's gonna come a point because obviously I'm gonna talk to you about when I set boundaries here, but I want to pause and say there wasn't an emotional toll to not setting boundaries sooner. Like I can literally calculate it in just hours of my life lost, but there's also an opportunity cost for not resting and therefore bringing a lower quality me to everything else I was doing before I decided to do that. Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Yeah, that's a that's a good call out because I I find myself there. I found myself there over the holidays and after a really a big travel trip, I was just mentally, I was so spread thin across everything I was doing that I totally relate to that.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Yeah. So I will say, um, for me, the easy way to snap out of it um was basically just to audit all of the activities. I cannot get up and walk away from being someone's mom. Okay. So all of the activities within that role, I mean, that is spoken for. So then I start to look at some of these other things in my personal life. Volunteer roles at church are amazing, but this was not the season for me to be taking on extra things. Things within um, I'm really big in our local running club. And so leadership positions there. Can I still go to the club meetings, but maybe not manage the books? Um, so things like this. And I just started taking things off of my plate so that I could then do a fresh time audit. Now I know like what are my A responsibilities and what things could I let go? Um, now I can do a fresh time audit and kind of budget out. All right, do I have wiggle room or not? No. Okay, now we practice saying no to things. Do I have a little bit of wiggle room? Okay, yes. What does that look like on a daily or weekly basis? And when do I know to say yes to something? Like it's really got to set my heart on fire to say yes to it now that my role has expanded.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Yeah. So in that process of evaluating, and I and I thought your volunteer example was great, right? You were volunteering and ultimately determined this is not a good season for me to be doing this. When you made the determination and told that individual, hey, I need to back away a little bit, did you struggle with guilt? Did you struggle with I'm gonna let people down? I made this commitment, I feel bad about pulling out now. How did you work through those emotions?

SPEAKER_01 13:51

So yes, I felt bad. And I I think I I'm a people pleaser, I'm a recovering people pleaser, it's probably not ever gonna be fully healed. But I mean, I of course, of course, I worried about that. But I'll tell you, it's just like um if anyone like in a professional setting has ever had to do any kind of sales work and you get that call reluctance, whether it's knocking on a door or picking up a phone, right? Like you kind of have that call reluctance. But once you just dial the number and hit call, it feels so much better just to talk to somebody. It feels so much better just to say it and move on. It's one of these things that that you just you have to eat the frog. And that's that's that saying for it is going to be uncomfortable and painful. It's the hardest thing you'll do all day. You only have to do it once.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Yeah. Well, and I think, I think to your point, right, boundaries is a kindness. So it's also how you deliver that message, right? You could call up a person and be like, I don't have time for this. Good luck. Thanks for that, right? Or you can become vulnerable a little bit and share, right, with this individual, hey, I really want to continue. I love the work that we're doing, I love the outcome that we're both working for. But right now in my life, I just need to take a step back because all these other things are important. And if that individual, if you've built a trusting relationship, if you're genuinely true to yourself, I would hope that that other individual would go, man, I totally get it. And thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Whether it was resigning from existing commitments, like the volunteer example I gave you, or it's someone asking me to do something now that I have redistributed my time and realized I don't have a lot of wiggle room. I use a script that goes a little something like this. And I got really good at saying no and using this exact script to say no. And I would say, no, I can't. If I did, I would have to take time away from, and this is a fill in the blank, this is a mad libs, y'all. If I did, I would have to take time away from my family, and I'm just not in a position to do that. I can support you though by maybe recommending somebody else. Okay, so it looks like don't apologize. No, I can't do it. If I did, I would be taking on from that, and that's I'm not in a position to do that, or that's just unfair. Here's how I can support you. Squash it. Don't keep me on your list. But it works for new requests or when you are resigning from something that just is not a good fit anymore.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

I really love that. And I love that it's a specific example. Because again, if you start with an apology, why don't you start with an apology in that statement? Because I'm not sorry.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

I mean, the reality is I do not have time for it. And if I did say yes, if I was, if I lost my spine for a second and said yes, that time has to come from somewhere else. Something else is going to suffer if I say yes to this. So this, I don't apologize because this is the truth. But I do offer up at the end, you know, some people, if you've had service training anywhere in the 90s and early 2000s, you've heard of like a compliment sandwich. Reminding people how you can support them is kind of a way to sandwich it in a way that even for us people pleasers feels good to walk away from.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

I love that because to your point, it's a kindness to the other person, right? You're not just being kind to yourself by acknowledging, hey, I'm in over my head, I've got to cut something. I'm being kind to myself to have this boundary. But when the boundary involves somebody else, you're not throwing everything in the kitchen sink, the baby out with the bathwater. You still have a relationship to maintain, right? So you're also paying a kindness to the person that you're setting boundaries with, right? Absolutely. Um, yeah, I love that. So I want to dig into a little bit more. So if we have somebody on the call, Susie, who's like, you know what, I love all of this, right? But I'm not even sure where to start or what my boundaries are. Let's talk a little bit about the reality and the tactical application that we're talking about, which is you have to first know what your boundaries are.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Absolutely. So I'm a really big fan, as you probably heard in earlier examples, of doing a time audit. And I'm just talking about journaling, and I don't care where this is. Maybe it's the normal calendar you work out of, maybe it's pen and paper, maybe it's post-its. I don't care. Just saying what you're doing and then organizing it, organizing that in a way that will allow you to see what was mission critical and maybe what wasn't. You could do this if you're writing it down pen and paper with colored highlighters. You could do it with different colored post-its. If we're talking like maybe an A, B, and C way of organization, A being middle mission critical, C being this was an extra that I could have delegated or not done at all. Right. And so doing a time audit just to be able to, you can coach yourself in a sense here to see where your low-hanging fruit is, the stuff that is easy to reallocate in a different way or to delegate or distribute.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Um are you crossing personal and professional in that exercise?

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Yeah, um, yes, I am. And that is simply because, and I'm in the season where I have four elementary age kids. Um, by an extension of that, we are quite active in our community and our church. And I'm just in a heavy personal season, where as neighbor, citizen, mom, I I have some mission a critical stuff there as well. So for my time out audit in this season of life, yes, I am. For others, you might say, goodness gracious, I'm an empty nester. And um, you know, my work is me getting back into the community and feel. So whatever when you think about the roles in your life as spouse, as friend, as daughter, as son, as colleague, think about that, where that mission critical work is. And I would encourage an intentionally broad time audit, and then possibly to get a little bit more on the micro level uh from there. But I I absolutely we don't operate as work beings, right? In a specific box. We are human beings where these different roles that we have, it bleeds into who we are and it bleeds into our energy and our time as well.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Yeah, I agree. So let's stay in the audit mindset. So now I'm an individual who I have, I like visual. So I would have colored post-its. Maybe I used a whiteboard or maybe I used a wall in my office, and I'm putting up all of the things that are, you know, um, like you said, I don't know what color you use, but like red for the highest level of priority. I can't shirk on my responsibilities or what I'm doing. And then you've got three different layers, like you said, A, B, and C. So now what? What do I do then? What am I, what am I, what are the actions or what are the questions I'm working through to determine where to cut stuff?

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Yeah. So, and I know there's somebody out there thinking, oh, time audit. We're only thinking about time. We're thinking about prioritizing personal time or like avoiding overcommitment. But I also want you to put the hat on where you think about emotionally, what are you bringing to these mission critical tasks, right? Emotionally, where where do you need a buffer there for what you need to bring to these things as well? So it's not going to be as cut and dry as, oh, two to three o'clock is this now, and I can free it up for that, right? So when we set boundaries, yes, these time boundaries, very easy to do with a time audit. But I also want you to think about where you might need to set emotional boundaries. Are there people that it's you can rally, you can work with these folks because you are an emotionally intelligent person who can keep his or her cool. With that, you might need some space on the other side of your weekly meeting with said person in mission critical task, right? You might need to set those boundaries for yourself to give yourself that time to. Minimize um projects that you're on with folks that you just don't mesh with. So a time audit is one way to do it. I want to make very clear though, that's where you're really setting time boundaries. It's really easy to show up for those roles that you have. There's also this emotional aspect that you need to be thinking, okay, how do I feel when I'm doing said task? Right? Is it an energy giver or is it an energy drainer? And this might give us some more guidance on if it's an energy drainer. Would you agree, Janelle? You might need to look within that task. Okay, where do I need boundaries? It is around a person. Is it my exposure to said type of task? Maybe it's not a person, maybe it's the type of task. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

I think, I mean, I I I kind of did this exercise um pro kind of around the holiday-ish time with Lionheart because I was working on a book and I had the 12-week boot camp and I was thinking about starting up a podcast. And I mean, there were all of these things that I was spread thin. And a friend of mine is like, well, you're doing a lot of things decently, but what are you doing well? And it was a really poignant question for me because I'm like, I don't need to do everything. Like, I have people that are like, why don't you have a mailing list? Why don't you? Because if I did everything, I wouldn't be sleeping. And I have a full-time job and I have a husband and we're trying to move and I have nephews and I have like there's a lot. And I think to your point, a time audit isn't just where am I spending my time? It's the time that I spend, what are the emotions attached to that time? What are the emotions that I'm feeling trying to write an ebook because I wanna I want to raise awareness about EQ as much as I can and and where do I spend that time? Is it emotionally draining? Or like to your point, am I writing because it gets me excited? And I want to, right? It wasn't doing that for me. So I think I really love that you're saying, what are you spending your time on? But also what are the emotions that you're investing into that time? And are the emotions helping you? Are the emotions feeding into um your tank of reserve energy, emotional energy? I think we don't ask that question enough because I'm so driven by say yes, obligation. I don't want anyone to be frustrated with me. I want to follow through on everything that I've committed to, right? All of those pressures and the imposter syndrome voice in my head that's saying don't be a failure. You can do this. Don't pull out and admit that you don't have time for this right now. So I'm curious, when you went through your most recent time audit, did you have areas like that where you had doubt that were you making the right decision on stuff?

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Yes, I think doubt is fair for anybody. This is also right where some of that self-talk, you kind of have to tell your bad self to be quiet for a minute and let your good self pipe up with why. Again, being self-aware and understanding why we're making that we're making this boundary so I can bring the best me to all of my work. And especially with boundaries, I don't want to underscore the fact that um success action really builds a momentum. So if someone is thinking about this and even a time audit sounds like way too intense. Hold on, this is like varsity level. I wanted the JV version. Set a boundary. Watch how easy it is to set said boundary and have it respected, right? Do it somewhere, do it in a part of life you're you don't care about, but just get that win, get that practice, setting the boundary, having someone else acknowledge it and respect it. That will build what we call self-efficacy. It's that situation-specific confidence that you can do it. So if there's somebody listening that, like, oh man, yeah, it's really hard to say no. Uh I am a beginner for setting boundaries, do it anywhere, do it small, experience the success and build on that.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

Yeah. Can you give us one or two examples? So, to that listener who's like, I really love this idea, but I got to start with one thing. What's one thing that you were like, man, that was an easy thing for me to do, or I started there and it and it built from there.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

For me, it's because I work full time in customer success. So I mentioned that previous life um working on the practitioner side as a health education specialist. Now I am working for a startup. I'm probably like a lot of your listeners, I'm meeting to meeting all day long. I'm doing the zooms, I'm doing all the spreadsheets. It's all the things. I have my boundaries for my workday, and this is a hard boundary. I have two 20-minute walks during my workday. They're strategically at 11 o'clock and two o'clock. Cause those are 11 o'clock is about when my Einstein hour stops. Okay, my brain needs a break. Two o'clock is also when I start to feel a little bit fatigued. So I'm strategically setting them. But the reason I'm presenting them to you, Janelle, as a boundary is because it's not like on Google Calendar. It's not set where it's a time that can be moved or that people can book in. It is a boundary for internal and external meetings. Um, and in fact, my husband takes those walks with me. We do it together. So even if I wanted to click that meeting off when it came up, no, now I've got an accountability buddy for that. So I'm honoring that time away from work to give my brain a break. And I'm walking outdoors. So it's also really great for my physical well-being. It's an easy one to set. Take a break, go outside without a screen.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Yeah, I absolutely love that. And so, Susie, I'm gonna shift gears a little bit and talk about why setting boundaries, how setting boundaries has changed your life. Because I think there are a lot of people that love the idea. I think the work to actually identify boundaries and set boundaries can be daunting. So, really, what I would like to hear from you or have you share is how boundaries have changed your life for the better. Can you can you give us an example of life before a boundary? Where did you struggle? Why was it hard? And what are you seeing as a result of setting that boundary?

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Yeah, I mean, I think when you set boundaries, it's gonna, it's gonna hit your life in a few different areas. First and foremost, I want to mention from a relationship aspect. So it builds mutual respect by just defining expectations there, especially when we're setting boundaries for our emotional well-being, maybe with people. Um, and it really does strengthen communication, right? And sometimes trust between individuals when you're setting boundaries in that way. So this is healthier interactions all the way around, before ambiguous, after, defined, and therefore making that relationship better. So I want to offer setting boundaries for relationships as a first and foremost. But then also probably, especially as we've talked about time audits and categorization and we've talked about a lot of concepts here. I'm sure people are making that parallel with once you get out on the other side of that, knowing, being self-aware enough to know why you need the boundaries, where and how you need the boundaries. Now you are minimizing distractions, you're preventing overcommitment to things. So that's better time management for you. Think about work-life balance. This is going to improve your energy and your motivation, right? Like there's a real boost in productivity as well. And I think that that's just got that halo effect on your mental well-being. And I have to mention that one, right? I'm a marathon runner. Slow and steady. Nobody can sprint for extended periods of time. And that is the case for everything. So, yes, I'm using a running metaphor, but setting boundaries allows you to find that comfortable pace that you could do all day long, right? It's it prevents you from sprinting and burning out. And that one's really important as well.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

So, as someone who is passionate about boundaries, understands boundaries, do you still find yourself reevaluating boundaries?

SPEAKER_01 30:24

I think every I've talked a lot about roles here. And um I think that is just because, again, season of life, um, mine has shifted significantly every couple of years, and that is not going to stop probably for this next decade or so. So to answer your question, Janelle, absolutely um reevaluating often being very important. Um, I mentioned Einstein hour in passing a little bit earlier, but oftentimes when I'm doing a time audit just to see where my time falls, and I'll let folks know like if you're using Google Calendar, it's doing this for you already. It's gonna let you know how much of your day you're spending in meetings, what those meetings are for. So, like, use your tools, don't start completely, you know, from scratch. Um, but I think it's good practice to do this about every quarter or so, kind of when you would refresh meeting cadences or depending on what your role is, there's probably some habit stacking way you could include a time audit on about a quarterly basis. Um, and I think in my experience, I have found that yes, as roles in motherhood shifts, it shifts things for me at work. At work, as our organization shifts, that's gonna shift things as well. So quarterly would be my recommendation here.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

I love that. Um, we're getting close to time. So, first of all, I'm gonna ask you for anyone who's listening that's like, man, I gotta talk to Susie. I want to get to know Susie more, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Let us know how people can connect with you. Absolutely. So um, I used a running metaphor here, and I do share my running journey on um all the more traditional socials, Instagram, X, all those guys. I'm at Suzy Runs. Um, but I love connecting with fellow professionals who are tuned into emotional intelligence. And I'm Susie H. Goodwin, Susie Goodwin on LinkedIn. Love that.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

Um, and what's one last piece of advice you would give to somebody who is listening today's podcast and go, I want to do everything that you just said. I'm really excited about getting going. I just need that extra little boost of motivation.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

I would say I'm gonna go right back to the piece of advice that we gave a few minutes ago. Start somewhere, start easy, take that win and use it as momentum.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Love that. So here's here's our recap, right? I think I think if you're talking about emotional intelligence, I think if emotional intelligence is on your radar, um, and you're really kind of at that point where you're like, I want to be more emotionally intelligent, I want to be more mature in how I handle my emotions. This is a really good place to start because as you ask yourself, as you do a time audit and you're looking at all the priorities, the things that are important to you, all the things you want to accomplish, emotional intelligence asks you to take a step back and evaluate how you feel. How do you feel about personal relationships in your life? Are there personal relationships that need more time and care and attention? You look at your professional life. How are you spending your work time? How are you spending the extra time in the day where you don't have meetings? Are you being a faithful and loyal employee and doing the work that you're being paid to do? And as you look at both sides of your life, personal and professional, where do they cross over? And which areas of your life evoke negative emotion, right? Because as we talk about emotion, happy, positive, motivating emotions are easy to indulge and we love those things, but I think in general, we have more negative emotions, and negative emotions create negative energy, and your body doesn't like to feel that way, right? So if you have areas of your life that evoke negative emotions or you're struggling with negative emotions, I'm gonna identify you right here and now, that is where your mental energy is going. It's not to the positive things, it's to the negative things because they're draining, they're overwhelming, and they're discouraging. So when you do a time audit, my question for myself is always where are my where's all the negative energy going? And how can I reduce that? Because the less negative energy I have in my body and in my mind, the the more mentally healthy I'm going to be in general, right? So healthy boundaries are a declaration of self-worth at the end of the day. If you do not have boundaries, if you struggle with boundaries, there's a bigger question of your time and your value and your worth. Boundaries are going to teach you how to love yourself in a way that is sustainable and remove the highs and lows of life that are in your control because so much of life is out of our control. But where you choose to spend your time, where you choose to put your energy, is your choice. That is something you are in control of. And if you're not making those decisions, life is making those decisions for you. And we want to be good stewards of the life that we're given. Um, so again, I want to thank Susie so much for your time today and being willing to talk us through boundaries, which is such an important topic. Um, and I love that it's something that you're passionate about because we need more people like you to speak up. Thanks for having me, Janelle. My pleasure. All right, you guys. Well, from me to you as we wrap today, I'm gonna remind you that I want you to be inspired, to feel deeply, to be fearless in how you live your life and to do it authentically and keep leaning into those feelings because transformation starts from within. Thanks again for joining me, and we'll see you next Friday.