Creating Collaborative & Inclusive Environments - HOW do you do that?

In this raw and revealing episode of Friday Feelings, host Jenelle Friday welcomes guest Rijuta Bhagwat, Customer Success leader and founder of CX Factor Advisory.  They explore the human side of collaboration from confronting deeply embedded biases to bridging cultural divides in the workplace, Jenelle and Rijuta dive deep into how Emotional Intelligence serves as the foundation for building truly inclusive and high-performing teams.

With stories ranging from childhood conditioning to workplace alienation, this episode uncovers the powerful role of self-awareness, curiosity, and intentional communication. You'll walk away with tactical tools like reframing emotional emails, using inclusive language like “help me understand,” and the surprising effectiveness of rotating leadership roles in meetings.

Whether you lead a team or you're just learning how to show up better for your peers, this episode reminds us: the key to psychological safety and productive collaboration lies in choosing to care.

Key Takeaways:

• How subconscious biases impact communication and inclusion
• Why curiosity and clarity are cornerstones of collaboration
• Tactical EQ tools for inclusive leadership and effective communication
• The emotional cost of toxic environments and how to shift the culture

Resources

• Connect with Rijuta: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rijutabhagwat/
• Learn more: cxfactoradvisory.com

Referenced Material

• The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni (https://amzn.to/4mH4YAr)
• The anti-CEO playbook, TED talk by Hamdi Ulukaya (https://www.ted.com/talks/hamdi_ulukaya_the_anti_ceo_playbook?language=en)

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:06

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Friday Feelings, where we turn emotions into power, vulnerability into strength, and remind you to feel everything, fear nothing, and transform your life. I'm your host, Janelle Friday. Uh, and today we are talking about creating collaborative and inclusive environments. How do you do that? The reason this topic is so important is because A, if you're listening to this, you're probably a business professional, you are an individual contributor, you're a mid-level manager, or you're a corporate executive. You understand the word collaborative, you understand the term inclusive environments. We as a society are talking about inclusivity and making room for people that are not like us. And that's really hard to do sometimes when you don't understand where another person is coming from. And when you have trouble being empathetic and identifying with how to relate to someone that is completely different from you. And so I'm really excited to introduce my guest today, um, Miss Rajuta Bahuat. Did I say that right? Yes. I'm getting it, I'm getting better. Uh, thank you, Rajuta, for being here with me today, for spending time with me on this topic that I believe is is an undervalued topic. We don't really dig in as deep as we should because uh the more world, the more life and unpredictability happens, the more different some of us become. And it's really hard to work with people that we don't understand or identify with. And so, you know, coming from a different culture, coming from a different religion, even you and I are on very different uh wavelengths, but we have found commonality and connection and compassion for each other. And so that's why I just feel like I couldn't record this episode with anyone but you. So thank you for being you and being here and being willing to talk this through with me.

SPEAKER_00: 1:56

Janelle, you are one of the strongest emotionally stable people I have known. And I've when I heard your backstory and I heard what prompted you to actually get you, yourself in tune with your emotions, your feelings, and how you've carried uh on your your path, your journey to get uh promoting this with others. I think uh you have inspired me. I am truly, truly glad to be on this podcast with you.

SPEAKER_01: 2:33

Thank you. It means the world to me to hear you say that. And again, without being on this journey, I don't know that you and I would have met. So, I mean, it really is a testament to when you change yourself from the inside out and and make a choice to be inclusive. I I had to learn how to do that through EQ. Um, it opens the door to incredible relationships. So uh Rajusa, tell us a little bit about you, um, you know, your upbringing, where are you from, um, and then why this topic is something that, you know, when I when I talk with you a little bit about, hey, let's let's bring you on the podcast, this was that topic that got you excited.

SPEAKER_00: 3:11

Yes, absolutely. So I am from India. You may even detect that in my accent. I've been living in the US now for more time than I have in my home country where I was born and raised. Um I've grew up with English as my first language, believe it or not. I have, I mean, my mother tongue is my mother tongue, but all my education forever has been in English. And uh grammatically, sometimes I feel like I know the language, I know uh phrases, idioms, all of the grammatical words. Yet when I first came to this country, I had a problem getting understood, being understood. And I had to express myself in a manner, whether it was pronunciation, whether it was articulation, and simply understanding what the other person is perceiving when I'm saying this. It may just simple phrases. Going to school here, I used phrases that I used back in college in India. And those were completely, they meant something different when I said it to my, when I said it to my classmates or my friends, and they pretty much stopped uh speaking or they they stopped in their tracks and they looked at me, you know, and so that got me to open up my mind and say, it doesn't matter. Yes, you may know, you may have good command over the English language, but what you see matters, what you speak matters, and the words that you are saying and the culture that you come from matters. Now, I have since um, I mean, I'm in corporate uh America, I've been in the tech world for over 25 years. I've recently launched my own advisory services. We met uh, you know, in the realm of customer success, and I was inspired by your talk at a custom one of the customer success conferences that I um that I heard you at, and that prompted me to reach out. So this topic is near and dear to me simply because as a customer success leader, I'm focused on outcomes, collaboration and inclusivity. These are true aspects of being a great CS professional, meaning it brings the emotional quotient and helps you build on that soft skill that is needed to build a strong customer success team. If you don't have a good handle on your own emotions and how to manage them, you can't sit back and uh understand where your team members are coming from, where your uh other people in your organization are coming from, where your leaders are coming from. And also, last but not the most important of where your customers are coming from. We say this so often. Uh outcomes are important. And so this topic is near and dear to me. I am rambling, so I should stop. No, it's good.

SPEAKER_01: 6:35

But um, I want to be and I want to be very clear. I'm gonna put out a misnomer. We are not going to get political today. Absolutely. The word inclusivity sparks something in you that goes, I don't want to talk about that. That's not where this conversation is headed. So let me be clear about what we are talking about. Within the realms of emotional intelligence, collaboration and inclusivity are not buzzwords. They're actually EQ in action. We're going to explore how building environments where every voice matters and where people feel seen, safe, and heard is what we're talking about. Because we could look at this from a cultural perspective. Rajutha, the way you were raised in India, the things that are normal to you, phrases, um, physically how you communicate. There's a misnomer about when you speak the back and forth head thing from India is a thing, right? That's a cultural difference. Um, I mean, I'm just calling out stuff that I don't think we talk about enough, right? That there's a there's an expectation of how to do business based on how you were raised in India versus how we have an expectation of how to do business in America. And I think uh the word inclusivity to me says I need to understand how to interact with a Japanese team, leadership team. They have different expectations of what's respectful in business. There's um people learn differently, people communicate differently, people receive critical feedback or information differently, people want to be rewarded and recognized differently. And those differences are what we're highlighting today. Because if we don't make space for someone like me who is visual, passionate, outspoken, I talk with my hands, I'm a direct communicator, I'm learning how to interact with other people that that may make them feel uncomfortable. And the old Janelle would have been like, well, that's who I am, deal with it. If you don't like it, if you if you don't know that I'm coming from a good place and you're gonna keep kicking up the reasons why you don't like me because I talk with my hands or I'm passionate when I speak, then that's your problem. That was that was the old Janelle. And to some degree, I want to stay authentically myself. However, it's it's stepping back and going, okay, I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable around me. I don't want to give someone a reason to go, yeah, thanks, but no thanks. How can I do that while remaining authentic, but taking into consideration all of the other different ways that people communicate and engage and receive information? So that's when I say inclusivity, that's what we're talking about today. So from that aspect, right, self-awareness and social awareness to the two pillars um of emotional intelligence that talk about awareness, yeah, is the gateway to recognizing biases and fostering openness. So I love that term biases because I think from a from an emotional awareness perspective, we all have biases. Would you agree with that?

SPEAKER_00: 9:36

100%. And it's the way we are raised, it's the exposure we have to different circumstances, uh, the upbringing we've had. I I mentioned race, but not just in your home, but the upbringing of um the work environment. How have you been led in your career journey? And your managers and your leaders are a big part of who you've become as a manager and a leader. And it's not just about them. I have always said this: you can be a leader in any seat. This topic, collaboration and inclusivity, as a leader, you when you open yourself up to collaboration and to being inclusive, all you're doing is empowering yourself with more proactive and more creative solutions that people from different backgrounds with different skill sets, with different personalities, all of these people are bringing those skills to you, and you now have these creative solutions in your arsenal. And I know I I know you said talking with your hands. Even now I can see you. I know this is an audio podcast, but I'm talking with my hands. There have been times when people who didn't quite know me have mentioned to me, okay, uh am I talking to you or am I talking to your hand? And to me, that just it felt like a punch or it sucked the energy out of the conversation I was having at that time. But it taught me a valuable lesson. Uh, you automatically establish that do I want somebody to listen to what I'm saying, or do I want them to get distracted with my hand gestures? And keeping that, there's always a give and take. Yes, you want to be authentic to yourself, but not to the detriment of the objective that you are trying to accomplish. So there's a learning here for both parties. And that is the collaboration that we want to bring.

SPEAKER_01: 11:54

Yeah, I love that. And and to your point, right, I actually have a sticky note that says um hands. It's in bold. I wrote hands in one big word on a sticky note because I'm constantly thinking about okay, if I'm gonna go into a meeting with someone that I don't know, I've never met before, I will sit on my hands on purpose because it it forces my brain to be aware of how I'm communicating my body language. If I'm not being aggressive and passionate with my hands, then I'm keeping the door open for someone who may not be open to a personality like that. But at the same time, when I'm talking to someone who does know me, uh um, hands are free, right? Right now, as I'm talking, I'm using my hands, right? Um, but I also want to kind of dig into that deeper, which is I think there are subconscious biases that we don't even know we have. And I'm gonna be really raw here and share a story with you that uh it may be offensive at the beginning, but hear me out. Okay. Okay. I was sitting with a uh, well, just I'm just gonna be honest with my dad. We know that my dad is what he is. If you're familiar with my story, uh I was raised with a a parent who would say things like, if you love Jesus, everything you say is true. We are the superior race, we are okay, all of that nonsense. I that's how I was raised. Um, I was raised with a parent that told me if I ever brought a colored individual home as a significant other, I wouldn't come home. Um, so this is the the way that I came to be an adult, and and there were subconscious biases and racial things within me that I was not aware of. Okay. So I remember this very specific instance where I was stranded on the side of the road. I wasn't stranded. My dad and I were stranded on the side of the road. We needed help with something. And when we called into the help center, we got an individual who was very clearly Indian. Yeah, Eastern Indian. You're Indian. That's bad to say it, but that I'm just gonna say it. Uh, and immediately, this is the first thing that my dad said. I will not speak to someone who is not English native speaker. Get me to somebody who who speaks English natively. And on the side of the road, Rajuta, I was like, Oh my, I'm mortified. I was mortified at the immediate, I will not even listen to you or allow you to help me because you come from a different country. And I'm assuming that you don't know what you're talking about. I'm not going to be able to understand you, you don't care. Whatever was going through his mind. And it was this moment where I was like, do I do that? Do I make those subconscious biases when I get on a phone call for help and I get someone who doesn't speak English natively, or they have an accent that indicates they're from a different country? And the answer was, yes, I do. And I've had these conversations with myself over the last, I want to say, couple of years when I do interact with someone from a different country, when I do need help from someone, and you can tell that they're not from the United States natively. And challenging myself to ask myself, why do I think that? Well, I was taught to think that, but I don't have to think that anymore. So I put that out there to be very transparent to say I wasn't even aware of those biases. And you have to, self-awareness begs the question of in that moment when I'm thinking that, asking myself, why am I thinking this right now? Why am I making judgments? Why am I so prickly to this individual just because of how they sound over the phone? And how do I move forward and remove those biases, remove those assumptions, remove those horrible things that are going through my mind to be empathetic and collaborative with this individual. I mean, I'm just that's where I was at. And that's where I think a lot of people are that they just don't want to talk about because they were raised to think that or feel that or believe that. And it's time for us as adults to take ownership and say, that's not okay. It's not okay to just say, well, that's how I was raised. That doesn't mean anything. You're still making a choice of how you think and process a person of a different culture. And you gotta own that. I had to own it. And I'm still not perfect, but I at least can own it in those moments to say slap me on the head and be like, nope, we're not doing that anymore.

SPEAKER_00: 16:17

Yeah, and you brought up a very good point. What do you the incident that you described? Um the position of power, right? Your parent was clearly more powerful than you were in that situation, and you were in a position where you were getting influenced by their behavior. Yes. Biases inherently tend to come from something that we have had brought down to us, and it takes time for us to get out because it deep down you know when something is not right. Deep down, you it doesn't matter the influence, you know if you if something's sitting with you right or wrong. And I think all it needs is a little bit of nurture by yourself or by somebody else who will allow that voice to come out. And I say this as a leader, simply simply in the realm of having built a team, understanding the composition, the cultural composition, or having built a global team. What is right? Like simple things like here in the United States, smoking within uh the confines of a building is not permitted. It took many years of um uh, let's say, social reform and then uh laws being passed to that effect, and it's now for this generation, even our generation, and then everybody coming uh down the line, everybody's just used to not seeing people smoking within buildings. Well, guess what? That's not the norm across the globe. I actually COVID was um was that equalizer that made you realize, let you see people in their own environment. And in the in the realm of a virtual meeting, I was exposed to somebody that was smoking while they were having a meeting with me. And I had to sit back and think about they weren't being disrespectful. Uh was it my upbringing or my not to not to say that uh so my father smoked up for a certain amount of time, so I'm I don't have anything, um, it's it has nothing to do with upbringing, but it's just norms that you are used to following, um, that you may decide that you have to change. So understanding biases, they come from a place biases are inherent, yes, but they can be changed, and then understanding culture, understanding how uh certain cultural norms feed into biases, and then raising your team so that they understand the different composition of their team members and their habits and their cultural backgrounds. I think that is a big step for a leader. It's an evolving process, it's not something that you can uh you don't you don't just do it off of day one. It's an ever yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 19:46

Well, and I also think too, I mean, we're talking about um cultural biases and misnomers, but I also think that translates to the deeper dive conversation of I learn through visual. I'm a visual learner. I will watch a 60-minute video before I'll read a book. Okay. Um not everybody is that way. When I'm I'll read a book and then let's talk about okay, how do I um how do I like to be recognized? Right? I am not someone who on an all hands meeting likes the CEO to be like, and Janelle Friday this month, give a really big shout out to Janelle Friday. I'm like, I would rather my manager give me a silent high five over a one-on-one and send me a five dollar Starbucks gift card, be like, that was so awesome! Good for you. Okay. Um, how I communicate, I'm a very direct communicator. I don't need the fluff, I don't need the hand holding. Get to the point, tell me what we're talking about, and then let's move forward. That's me in a nutshell. Uh fair, fair to say, Rujita, you are not that way.

SPEAKER_00: 20:50

The the the big difference, I mean, the basic difference between two people forget gender, forget culture, forget race, forget everything. Introverts and extroverts. Yes. Pick a topic. An introvert processes that differently, and an extrovert processes that differently.

SPEAKER_01: 21:09

So getting why about the composition of uh, in your opinion, do you think it's so hard at a corporate organizational level to create inclusive environments where all different working personalities feel seen and heard? I mean, I think I think we're going back to I think we're going back to inherently the biggest problem with building and creating inclusive environments, right? Right. Because our leaders are not taking into consideration all of the different types of personalities, cultural preferences, and and behaviors and normals. It feels overwhelming, but that's I feel like that's where we're at. We're at this crossroads with corporate America where we are. Not good at making space for everyone from that perspective.

SPEAKER_00: 22:05

So let's take, let's go back to something that we started out with putting ourselves in the other person's shoes. Which is empathy. Which is empathy. Let's call that empathy. It's empathy. But the corporate America that you're speaking of, I mean, that leadership comprises of people. They also have certain drivers, they have somewhere to get to. I don't think inherently uh people don't want, I don't believe two negatives, right? I don't believe that people don't want to include. I don't believe that people don't want to collaborate. On purpose. We're not doing it on purpose. Right. Right. So if there is an expectation of our leaders, and our leaders also have expectations of us. And so in that, in that sense, I think we talked about the power structure, right? What is the influenza? So the culture of an organization, the culture of a team is set at the top. What is acceptable to you in terms of how much bias? Is that a strong bias that's going to go against the moral fiber of your team? 100%. You as a leader need to put a stop to it, right? Then and there. Is that a bias that needs to be taught and may not be very evident because there is just the knowledge isn't there of a different culture? Expecting somebody that is early in career, not had that much exposure to the working environment, as well as people across the globe. Maybe you need to just sit down with them and have a conversation about how they are coming across introverts versus extroverts. An introvert will take a topic. I've done this many times. Team development was a big part of my agenda, always, not just throughout my journey, like team development, either participating or bringing the team to a development exercise, whatever that may be. Introverts will listen to if you want them to contribute, you better make sure you've said sent that agenda out ahead of time, giving them some time to think about it so that they can bring their ideas. And an extrovert will probably not even have looked at that agenda. And then we'll come and they will bring all their suggestions right off the bat. They're ready to go, go, go, go, go. Now, again, making sure you're setting the tone for a conversation. Yes, corporate America has its challenges, but not for um not for not because the intention isn't there. There are so many different objectives as a leader, and keeping your eye on the ball is probably so it's something that we need to help our leaders do that as well. And we need to bring our teams to a certain standard that we expect to set.

SPEAKER_01: 25:14

And no, let's um let's let's bring this into reality, Rujuta. Can you share with us a story of maybe a team that you led or a team that you were on where there wasn't inclusivity or collaboration, and you didn't feel personally safe enough to express yourself authentically? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00: 25:36

I've never been on a team like that.

SPEAKER_01: 25:39

Liar, liar.

SPEAKER_00: 25:44

Um, I will say this. Uh there are every experience is a learning experience. And I'll say this because having having gone through the experiences that I didn't like, yes, I've been, I've been on teams where I have been fully dressed, ready to drive, and this was pre-COVID many, many years ago, lots of times. So getting to a physical office space was an everyday thing. And that's why I mentioned pre-COVID. Um, so yes, fully dressed, but sitting on the sitting on my bed, not wanting to put my shoes on to start driving to work because I was dreading going in. So, yes, I have been a part of that. How has that affected me? At the time, it was emotionally draining, it was stressful. My kids were feeling it because they could see the change in their mom.

SPEAKER_01: 26:47

And let's get specific because I I really want to, I don't want to be generalized about this. I really want to call out what specifically was happening in that moment at your workplace that made you feel like I just don't even want to go in.

SPEAKER_00: 27:03

I was working for a very dominating uh manager, and I was not feeling heard. And I feel that, you know, gender biases. We talked about biases as a woman, as somebody that was that that is culturally, not a white woman, but uh but a woman with a different color skin than the majority, I felt my ideas were not valued. I felt I was being tasked to go and just do what was dictated to me. And don't give me your ideas, just go do what I tell you. And yet, when it came to getting the work done and the work was done really well, um it was just, well, that's just the job. So great. I'm glad you didn't mess it up. So it makes for a very toxic workplace where you don't feel valued, you don't feel like your input has any meaning, and you you don't want to go to work, but there's something. I mean, whether it's the mortgage payment, whether it's the kids' um daycare costs, whether it is food on the table, something is driving you. For me, at the time, it might have even been, I don't remember now how many years ago that was, but there was a time when I have kept jobs because I had to maintain my immigration status. You know, I needed to be on a work visa. So the type of manager I worked for or the team that I worked with, it was secondary. I just needed to hold on to the job. That to me was a big part of developing a thick skin and just plowing through, keeping my head down and plowing through.

SPEAKER_01: 29:01

I think I think it's sad to hear you say that. And the reason I say it's sad is because I think most of us in corporate America either feel that right now or we have felt it in the not so distant past, right? Um I think I think we have more toxic working environments than we care to admit. Um, I think we have more leaders that genuinely want to make a difference, like you, who see the issue, they're calling out the issue, they're putting good in, they're trying to teach empathy, they're building inclusive and collaborative teams. But because you're not at the top, you're not at the very top of that pyramid, the impact that you have is limited. And that's where I really want to call us back to the heart of this conversation, which is you are a leader no matter the role you're in. If you're an individual contributor and you're a customer facing, you're a leader because you are giving advice, you are frontline workers leading your customer conversations, leading your team, um, leading building of relationships. If you're a mid-level manager, you have to understand how to not just be a boss or a manager. Being a leader takes something extra than just being a manager. It takes care, it takes empathy, and it takes an open mind to identify every individual personality and needs and communication styles of the people that you're leading. And then all the way to the top, where corporate leadership struggles being vulnerable, struggles understanding what the boots on the ground day in the life is of a CSM, a salesperson, a marketer, a product team member, and really understanding that without purposefully building an emotionally psychological safe place for all of the different personalities and cultural influences and learning styles and introvert, extrovert, without purposefully building the infrastructure to make all of those different differentiators safe, that inherently you are um you are missing out on the best asset that you have, which is your people. The people in your organization are the best asset that you have. But if you are not being purposeful and intentful by creating an environment where people, no matter where they hail from, no matter the culture they were raised in, no matter their introvert or extrovert status, whatever it might be, feel safe and seen and heard, your corporate culture is toxic. It's damaging, it's frustrating, it's infuriating, and it makes us come to work to go, I'm here to collect a paycheck, but you're not gonna get the best of me, right? When we don't feel seen, heard, and valued, do you give 100% in your day-to-day? Probably not. So in that environment, Rujia, do you would you what percentage of zero to 100%, 100%, meaning every day I was showing up and I was giving my best at every single turn? What percentage of effort do you think you really gave that organization when you didn't feel seen and heard?

SPEAKER_00: 32:04

So I will say this as a person, and that again sheds light on how different people process negativity and toxicity and all of that as well. Right. Yeah. I went in with a purpose of helping my customers. I brought, I put pushed the back the toxicity that I was having to deal with. I had to go into work. So I did show up, but I am driven by a purpose. And so in that situation, I focused on my customers. I formed such strong bonds with my friends, like people would um have opinions about having dealt with certain customers that were difficult, and they became my best friends because I inherently end up having a dry sense of humor, and we would just, we were like as a vendor and a customer, we were tied to the hip with making sure they had their outcomes and we worked in tandem to get the people across my organization to respond to their needs. That is why I am so passionate about customer outcomes and customer being customer-centric, leading people so that you let them bring out the best. So another thing I do, yes, we are talking about toxicity and talking about the things that we don't often like to hear, right? We don't like to talk about the things that are uh biased and the circumstances that makes uh an environment toxic. We are talking about that right now, but a majority of organizations that I've worked at have had people. People have been the ones that I have gravitated towards. So I don't want anybody listening to this podcast going away with the impression that corporate America is like we're not sweeping everything with a broad. Yeah, that is not the intention. No, good call.

SPEAKER_01: 34:20

That's a good call.

SPEAKER_00: 34:20

Thank you for that. I want, yes, there's more good, and there's more to because again, going back culturally, I have worked in a setting back in the 90s, back in a country, uh, back in my home country. I've worked there and I can see the difference in the work culture there versus in corporate America. So, again, there are a lot of positives, but the the thing to keep in mind as a leader is you need you are more, uh, you have more strategic, you have more um uh I want to say creative solutions that at it at your disposal if you create an inclusive and a collaborative environment. So let's talk about the how.

SPEAKER_01: 35:07

Let's just keep let's just keep running that forward of how do we do that? So let's get into the how, Rajutta.

SPEAKER_00: 35:14

Let's get into the how, yes.

SPEAKER_01: 35:17

Let's first identify, right, um, practical tools for inclusive collaboration through active listening, right? We know that curiosity, I would say, is is probably the biggest factor in all of this. One of the biggest factors.

SPEAKER_00: 35:34

Yes. Huge factor. One of the best teams that I've led, not in corporate America, is a group of elementary school girls who I was a team coach for their robotics uh team. Oh my god, the questions, the curiosity, the contributions, the personality types. You can almost see how um how that sort of feeds into the adult adults that you see in your work setting, right? So curiosity. We could learn, we could all learn from our kids about how to be curious, how to be fearless. And that again, asking the right questions without without the percept without giving the perception that the question is loaded, and then the at the receiving end, trying to read too much between us. Sometimes the question is just what it is, that's just it. So don't read too much into it, but also again, read the room.

SPEAKER_01: 36:49

There's different tips. And and there's a lot of resources, books that talk about how to be curious from a leader perspective and and terms and phrases to you. So, like I have a sticky note that says, help me understand, help me understand how do we get to this conclusion, or help me understand why that is something that you're looking to do. Help me understand your perspective, help me understand. It's a non-threatening, non-judgmental way to keep the conversation moving in the right direction, but seeking clarity because that's how we work to understand each other and offer empathy, real empathy, I think. Um, it also inspires clear and compassionate communication because you may have neurodiver divergent voices. You are going to have introverts and extroverts. So, for an introvert saying, help me understand, you're seeking to learn more about their thought processes that are probably not at the table because they're an introvert. They're not sharing what's happening in their head versus a neurodivergent voice, help me understand. They may be communicating in a way that you're like, What? What did you just say? I don't get any of that. And it's not an insult. It's just a leader saying, Man, help me understand. I need to, I need to come from a perspective where I hear where you're coming from. Um, so we talk about curiosity. Rajita, what's another um tactical tool or state of mind that's going to help us be more inclusive in our day-to-days?

SPEAKER_00: 38:14

So, communication. You talked about communication. We talk we deal with emails every single day. Emails don't have a sound. Like you can say the same sentences, the same words, and once those are spoken to you, you come away with a different connotation versus what's written, right? And you're reading because you bring your emotions to that technological conversation, so to speak.

SPEAKER_01: 38:46

Um, you were what you're saying is you're we assign emotions to text. So whether it's a signal message, whether it's an email, we assign and assume emotions. And I love everybody should know this saying, but what happens when you assume something? You make an ass out of you and me. Okay. Period.

SPEAKER_00: 39:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 39:06

And I'm the worst offender. I really am. I I will read an email and go, what are you? You know, I get all fired up, and then and then my EQ filter goes, okay, wait, you're assigning emotion. Do you even know the context of how they're feeling when they wrote that? Why do you assume that there's emotion? And and first and foremost, because our brains stay on repeat, why do you assume negative intent? Yes, harmful intent. So we assume that right out of the gate. I'm speaking to most people. It's just common practice for a human being. And so to your point, if we can stop ourselves in that moment of assumptions and if you if you can pull yourself out of the emotion, first of all, ask yourself, why are you feeling the way you're feeling? Why do you why are you assuming a negative connotation to the text that you're reading? Because you don't know what's happening on the other end or what that person's going through, or the pressures that they have, or the expectations, or what's what's been told to them that they have to pass down the line to you, first and foremost. So there's two things there, right?

SPEAKER_00: 40:08

Yeah, go ahead. No, go ahead, please. So there's two things there. The person that's writing the email, and then the person that's reading the email. So there's two things. The person writing has literally has tools at their disposal. The subject line are if you are expecting something in reciprocation of what you have are articulating in that email, use the subject line to your advantage. Action required, or the ask, be clear. You talked about clarity of communication. I can't emphasize how important it is to be succinct, summarize. I had a great English teacher, and she would make us write things down, and then she'd redline everything and reduce like if a sentence had more than six words in it, it was we we could not use that sentence in that essay. And so it was just that. Pressy writing is hard. And being super clean with your communication, recapping what you're asking is write the whole story, but unless you are asking for a summarization or an ask at the end of it, the other person doesn't know and you've lost interest. Think about so much noise that is there on social media today. Yeah, what is the ask? Make the ask and understand the ask, two different sides.

SPEAKER_01: 41:39

And I and I I want to highlight here too, like I'm a user of AI, right? I think AI is brilliant in how you can use it. And so I will actually write an email in the midst of my emotion, be like, okay, I can't send this email, but I need to communicate certain things without the emotion assigned. So I'll plug the email into a chat GPT and ask the chat and ask Chat GPT, um, create a summary of how I'm feeling based on this emotion, based on this email, right? Then I can ask it, reframe this email to be less aggressive, less assuming these things. And so instead of just copying and pasting that email into my reply, I go through the chat GPT's response to highlight, oh, that's how I could phrase that. Oh, that's how I can make sure the emotion kind of stays at bay and I'm only communicating what's critical. And then I use those suggestions and I rewrite the email myself. I don't actually copy and paste because I think it's important that it comes from my heart. But it's a great tool that if you struggle communicating when you're emotional, maybe you're a manager and you have an employee who's not doing what they're supposed to do. Maybe you're a team member who's been told to do something by a manager and the email was really harsh and direct, and it got you really frustrated and your response back is emotion-filled. Yeah. First and foremost, don't send communication when you're emotional. Not any negative emotions, right? That was a big learning curve. Just don't do it. Write it because it helps to get it out, but then hold yourself back and delete the email or copy and paste it elsewhere and start again, right?

SPEAKER_00: 43:10

I will say this. I have said this and I continue saying this. There are emails you write and there are emails you speak. Yes. You are when you are in that state of mind, you need to speak your email. So have that person as I have always told my team members, find me first when you want to write an angry email because you can't take it back. You put it in writing, it is now evidence, it is now documented, all of that. That's you know, speak it, let it out, and then and then write the nice email. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 43:49

I mean, and and and I think I've have way too many learning lessons in that category. Uh, I still have to catch myself when I respond to say, is there any area? Of frustration? Am I making any assumptions of this person? And again, this is a moment-to-moment choice. One of the things I talk about a lot is your willingness to be aware of yourself, of your thoughts, of your biases, of your assumptions. Um, is really critical in all the things we're talking about. Because if you're not staying aware on an email-to-email, slack message to slack message basis, then you can lose yourself in those emotions. And by the end of your workday, you're like, oh, now I have to go manage that relationship because I just completely said the wrong thing. You know what I'm saying? So this is an active, this is a proactive choice and it's personal accountability. This is personal accountability for the things you say and do, understanding that everything you say and do has an impact on the other person for better or for worse. And if you don't care, here's a kicker. If you don't care about the impression that you're leaving to the other person on the other side of that email, that Slack message, that Teams meeting feedback, that's the problem. If you don't care, that's the problem. And yeah, I feel that I could teach you to care or tell you why you should care, but it's a question to ask yourself if do you care? Because if you don't, then it makes me question your own emotional intelligence level.

SPEAKER_00: 45:24

So a hundred percent, yes. When when we are coming to this conversation and we are talking about collaboration, inclusivity, understanding people's different personality types, emails that can be written, coming up with creative solutions, all of that. There is an inherent assumption. And I think this is not the assumption that you don't make. This is a hundred percent the assumption that you come to this table with come because you care. If you don't care, then you're totally it's a different ball game entirely. So we're not even that's not even that's a non-starter. And as a I can say this as a team leader, manager, whatever. If you don't care, you can't make it onto my team. That that has been the model fiber that I have wanted to raise on all of my teams. You need to care, not just about your customers, but about yourselves, about how you come across and about your team members. You can't be um you can't be walking over everybody else and this just leaving a wake of destruction just because you decided that, oh, I want to feel psychologically safe and now I'm going to speak my mind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Everybody else has uh the right to feel psychologically safe as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 46:53

Um, and we're, I mean, we're we're wrapping in until we're actually over time, and that's okay. I don't care. So, first of all, let's let's offer tactical takeaways, Rajita. What what would be if someone's listening to this going, man, that's real, I really want to do that. I want to learn how to do that. Where do you start?

SPEAKER_00: 47:09

First of all, reach out. There's a lot of material that's available, right? Do the research. It is up to you. You have resources 100% in corporate America today, 100% you have somebody on your management team in your HR department somewhere. So if it's in the work environment, there are resources available to you that you can, or there is intention for somebody. If you're a part of a small, small gig, there is intention, and somebody may laud you. They may say, Okay, great, fantastic idea. Now you own it. Well, now is your chance to put your money where your mouth is and actually chart the course. Um that's one thing. The second thing is the resources. There's so many resources online. I love reading books. I used to be a traveling consultant. A lot of my time was spent on flights or at gates, uh, you know, waiting for flights. And so um I loved reading books, different kinds of books. I it doesn't matter, fiction, fact, you know, whether it was sports, whether it was that. But I have a book here that one of my um VPs introduced to us, this author, Pat Lancioni. I love him, and uh I read different books that he writes now, but even just online content in this day of social media, you see those reels. Simon Sinek, I love the things that he puts out. You know, I like something. TED Talks. There are so many TED talks from completely different uh people, some some that I didn't even realize would be inspiring. Um one of the greatest talks I ever heard, by the way, was uh from the CEO of Chubani. He how he set up his factory, how what prompted him to build uh uh that where he did, and all of the things that went into it's just inspiring. So I like there are so many resources that you can get to actually try to understand people from different uh your teammates, your customers, different backgrounds, different origins. So get find your resource, find the resource that speaks to you. I will say that. And second of all, if there is a problem that you feel you are facing and that you're fighting, or if somebody is doing you the service to point that out, meaning um celebrating your if somebody is telling you that you're not good at something or that you need to work on something, or that this is an area of evolution or improvement, then take that to heart. They're not just trying to um pull you down. Maybe it is a way for you to work on yourself so that you can now bring a better version of yourself to the table. Celebrating the failures as a manager always have uh the ability now celebrating failures that's a loaded statement. It doesn't mean that you always have to be okay and say that, oh, all failures are no, there is a coaching moment there, 100% a coaching moment, and both parties, there has to be a reception to the coaching as well. So um I think for tactical tips and takeaways, read the room. If you if your teammates are sitting with crossed arms and just staring at the screen, that's a sign. Respond to that.

SPEAKER_01: 50:55

Body language is a huge thing. And if and if you don't know how to read facial cues, listen to tones, or read body language, it's time to start studying because that those silent indicators can make or break a conversation. Um, I love that. And we we we have a very short window here. We got to wrap up here. So um we you also talked about rotating leadership roles in meetings or in in working environments, right?

SPEAKER_00: 51:20

Yep. Rotating leadership was my uh the biggest uh thing that I came away with from a conference. It seems like a no-brainer, but something that I uh was banging my head on the wall uh uh to do, to get responses from my team members, you know. Um, it's hard. COVID hit everybody hard, different factors, different personal lives, different uh circumstances. And everybody used to come to a team meeting uh with something else going on, not just the work setting. So uh again, COVID taught us all a lot. So um making sure that people understand it is not easy to get everybody to respond. So we rotated the team members taking the baton and leading the team for a team meeting. And if if you can get through that, you understand what you're putting your manager through, your boss through.

SPEAKER_01: 52:25

And yeah, I think we point fingers a lot too. Like if you don't know what it's like in the day in the life of a support team member, yes, if you've never sat with a product team member to understand their workload, their expectations, their pressures, I think cross-collaboration often requires you understand what that person goes through. And I've had people say, Well, I don't, I don't have the time, I can't afford that time. And I would counter by saying, You can't afford not to. If you truly want an inclusive and collaborative working environment, you cannot afford to not understand what another department's team members do for a living and and how they spend their time. Um, so uh in a in a one-minute, two-minute um wrap here, Rajuta, tell us about CS Factor, tell us how people can connect with you. Um, yeah, let us know what you're up to right now.

SPEAKER_00: 53:15

Uh I would love to talk. This would uh one minute, two minute. Janelle, I should come back and tell you all about CS CX Factor. I'm kidding. Uh so CX Factor Advisory is um is an advisory service that I started in the realm in the field of customer experience and customer success. I, as I've mentioned, this is near and dear to my heart. I chanced upon this field purely by luck. I was in service delivery, and CX Factor Advisory offers guidance to C-suite or anybody that is tasked with growing an organization into developing the workflows and the processes that are necessary so that you are equipping your teams with that for that growth. Um, so again, it it's a very simple um simple steps that you can very simple steps you can take in building your organization for success and making sure your customers succeed. So uh leading them down the path to growth. And um you had something else for me, Janelle. I was where can people find and connect with you? Where can people find and connect with me? Reach out to me at cxfactoradvisory.com, rajuta at cxfactoradvisory.com. So and LinkedIn, you're on LinkedIn. I'm on LinkedIn, I have my website, I I'm on YouTube, I have um I have a social media platform that I partner with called Thinkly. And Janelle, you and I have collaborated before uh to participate on the community there. We're gonna do another one soon.

SPEAKER_01: 55:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 55:08

So see you. I love that.

SPEAKER_01: 55:10

Well, um, and I will I will make sure that all those links are part of the description in the podcast details. So if you're looking to connect, all those links should be available to you. Um, Rajusha, this has been a pleasure. I feel like we should do version two to delay to dig in a little bit deeper. Um, but this is a topic that I think we're both passionate about, and I'm so grateful uh that we are building the kind of relationship where we can talk about real serious things that impact people's day-to-day and encourage each other to be a better version of ourselves than we were yesterday and to be inclusive and thoughtful and considerate of the person on the other end of the conversation. So thank you for being you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being such an incredible and inspirational thought leader. Um, and I can't wait to learn more from you and uh and just help share the message of what you're trying to do for our community.

SPEAKER_00: 55:58

Thank you, Janelle. It has truly been an honor and a pleasure. And thank you for inviting me to your podcast.

SPEAKER_01: 56:05

It's been awesome. Well, as we wrap today's episode, again, here's my closer to be inspired to feel deeply. If any part of this conversation invoked emotions within you, positive, negative, those feelings matter. To not ignore those emotions, but to lean into them with a fearlessness, because we know that everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear, that fear is a liar, fear is an inhibitor, and fear of the unknown keeps us stuck. So to be fearless and live authentically to yourself. I can sit on my hands and I can use my hands. That continually remains to be authentic to me because it's a choice that I've made. But nothing about you is wrong. If you're autistic, there's nothing wrong with you. If you're an introvert, there's nothing wrong with you. If you're an extrovert and loud and opinionated and and and hello me, nothing is wrong with you. Embrace who you are fearlessly and to keep leaning into your feelings because we know that transformation starts from within. It has to start with you because it's a choice. And so thank you so much for joining me again on a f another episode of Friday Feelings, and I will see you all next week. Have a great day, everybody. Have a good one. Bye.