What Happens When Hope Knocks at Your Darkest Hour?

In this vulnerable and unforgettable episode of Friday Feelings, Jenelle Friday sits down with Chaz Horn, founder of Mastery of B2B Sales, to explore the intersection of despair, healing, and transformation. Chaz shares the harrowing story of the night he nearly took his own life and the knock on the door that saved him.

From the depths of shame, loss, and self-doubt to a life of intentional biohacks, faith-based healing, and purpose-driven leadership, this conversation is more than inspiration, it's a guide for reclaiming your life when it feels lost. Chaz's story is raw, powerful, and soaked in resilience. He offers actionable tools, including neuroscience-backed strategies and faith-based reflections, for anyone struggling to move forward.

This episode includes sensitive content related to suicide. Please listen with care.

Key Takeaways:

• How suppressed emotion manifests physically and emotionally
• Biohacks and daily habits that promote healing and brain health
• The science of thought patterns, neuroplasticity, and emotional intelligence
• The power of community and the spiritual revelation of identity
• Faith, resilience, and the decision to live on purpose 

Resources

• Connect with Chaz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chaz-horn/
• Grab your copy of Chaz's book: https://chazhorn.com/the-b2b-blueprint-to-predictable-sales

Referenced Material:

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://a.co/d/bE4rc0v
• Living Fearless by Jamie Winship: https://a.co/d/eR25m2k

 📞 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988 or visit 988lifeline.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:08

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Friday Feelings, where we turn emotions into power, vulnerability into strength, and remind you to feel everything, fear nothing, and transform your life. I'm your host, Janelle Friday. And let me tell you guys, today this is a conversation worth listening to, but I have to give a warning. We are talking about a serious and very sensitive topic of suicide. If this is a topic that is uncomfortable to you, you don't want to listen to, I'm giving you the heads up now. Um, I my guest today, uh Mr. Chaz Horn, uh, is an incredible example of resilience. And for him to be raw and open and share with us today uh is an honor. So I'm really very excited to introduce uh Chaz. Chaz, you thank you so, so much for being a guest on my podcast today and just being willing to have this conversation with me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04

Janelle, it's great to be here. Thanks for inviting me on. I look forward to our conversation.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10

Me too. So, Chaz, you and I connected because I stumbled across your profile. Uh, your your core values of leadership and EQ really drew me in. Um, you are currently the founder, let me get this right, of Mastery of B2B Sales. You are a best-selling author with your B2B blueprint for predictable sales and just a powerhouse leader. Uh, and so I was just thrilled that you responded to my video. You're like, who is this girl? Um, and here we've been building a friendship just based out of common values and and um our desire to help uplift others. And so that's kind of how we connected. So I would love for you to share with our audience a little bit more about you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:53

Sure. And just so you know, it's I'm not a the the book is not a best-selling book. Um, but maybe that's uh you're telling me what what it's going to be. So we'll we'll see. So I put my heart and soul into that book. So uh we can chat about that a little bit uh later. So giving you some background, um for much of my life I was working for other people, and I I started over at 51, and that's when I started my business. For most of my life, I was doing side hustles. We didn't even call it side hustles back then, but I was doing things because I didn't want to work for someone else and help them build their dream. I wasn't thinking about that in that manner, but I just knew I wanted to do something on my own. So I had a sales background, and so I helped people sell, I helped develop leadership and systems and processes and methodology. Um, I have two kids, Tyler and Jamie. Tyler just turned 28, Jamie just turned 25, and I coached my son all the way through high school in his sports. Uh Jamie was a debater. Uh, they both work for me today, part-time, which has been a blessing. And I have my CFO also who works with me, who is my chief fund officer, also known as my dog. And there's a there's a story behind why she's called my chief fund officer, which maybe we can get into. But yeah, I look forward to to diving in. And as you alluded to at the beginning of the the conversation, I've had some deep, dark moments in my life, and one in particular that if we if we discussed this, I didn't even discuss it with anyone. Maybe one, two people knew about it because there was so much shame surrounding that situation, which is important to address if and when we talk about that today.

SPEAKER_00: 3:53

Yeah. Well, so the title of our uh episode today is What Happens When Hope Knocks at Your Darkest Hour? That's what we're talking about today. That we're gonna dive into your story. Uh, you have experienced unimaginable loss, um, a moment of near tragedy, and we're gonna talk about the incredible transformation that followed after this event of your life that you shared with me. Um, and so rather than talk more, I just want to get into it. So, Chaz, if you would be willing to just open up and and kind of how you walked through me through your story when we first met, um I would love for you to kind of dig into that and share it.

SPEAKER_01: 4:29

Sure. So as I was talking about in my career, I was always trying to get significance out of what I was doing, which is a huge mistake. And if I was doing well, hey, I thought of myself as someone who was on the right path, and that's how I got my identity. If I wasn't doing well, then I thought less of myself. And a lot of people do this, and entrepreneurs in particular struggle with this, and just in life. You know, if we're doing well, we feel well, and that's not the truth, it's a lie from the enemy. So I got to a place where I was breaking sales records for most sales in a in a month, a year, five years, 10-year period, and I was thinking, hey, look at me, I'm amazing. I was a legend in my own mind. And then around that time, my my mom died, my dad died, I went through a divorce, I got fired from my job, and my whole world unraveled. My much of my significance at that point in time was yes, yay, I'm I'm doing well on sales. You know, I was so mad I had these trophies, I was just smashing them. I was I got to a place where I was really mad, I was bitter, and by the way, you know, bitterness is is basically drinking poison and expecting it to harm the person that you're mad or upset with, or who you're upset with. At that point, there's a lot of it was I was mad and upset and bitter at God. So, and my kids were young. I love as I as I alluded to earlier, I coached my sons, uh, all my all his sports teams uh up until high school. He was mostly in recreational sports. He was a good athlete, but not a great athlete. And just the thought of me not being able to read to my kids at night, and then I didn't know how to deal with emotions, to process them, and I just suppressed them because that's what I learned. And I'm not saying that that I'm a victim because we're not responsible for how we're raised, but we are responsible as adults to change and transform and grow and get help with the areas that we struggle with. So as I suppressed all my emotions my entire life after the death of both of my parents, the divorce, I I lost everything, basically. I mean, seriously, pretty much everything. That's the way that that I felt. I had an incredible pain, depression, and I I just couldn't literally function. And so I got to a place where I mean I I literally was praying that God would take take my life and would find an amazing dad for my kids. I mean, that's where I was. I would be on the floor of my place, just crying out to God over and over and over again. I was mad, I was upset. I repelled pretty much everybody in my life. So here I was in this little small place, and I had decided that I just wanted to end the pain. And so I I bought a gun, I filled it with hollow point bullets, and if you don't know what hollow point bullets are, it's they separate and expand, so they destroy whatever comes in their path. I didn't want to be someone who survived me trying to take my life. And so I got um one night, I just took the safety off, and I was sitting on the the ground in my or the floor in my in my living room, and I just started tapping my finger on the trigger harder and harder and harder, not knowing which tap was gonna be would would take my life. And right before I tapped, I can't remember exactly what the third time, fourth time, something like that, uh I heard a knock at the door. And no one visited me around that time or just dropped by, and it was night, so it wasn't like a door-to-door salesperson, and they just kept knocking and knocking and knocking. And this may seem really twisted, but this is where I was. I can remember, it's like, man, can I not even kill myself in peace? I mean, that's where that's how twisted I was, and just demented my process and my how I was thinking, but they just would not stop knocking on my door. So put the gun down, I walked to the door, I opened the door, and the person said, God told me to come over to your house right now. So that was in 2004. And I tell people, if it wasn't for the knock at the door in 2004, I wouldn't be here today. So that interruption when I was trying to take, and I didn't write a note, I wasn't trying to take uh get attention or anything. I just wanted to end the pain. That's how bad and how dark my life was at the time. I couldn't see things clearly. I was just I was embodied with with just pain from depression because I didn't know how to process my emotions and feelings. And so that knock saved my life, and it wasn't like, hey, okay, I'm doing great now. It was a long process over the next 20-21 years to be able to heal, to deal with shame, to deal with past hurts and whatnot. But that was an event that was miraculous, as literally God saved my life.

SPEAKER_00: 11:11

Yeah. I mean, I I have so many um empathetic emotions because I've been at that place more than once in my life. Uh, not really thrilled to admit that, but it's the truth. And that feeling of I I know I'm gonna let people down. I know that I'm gonna have people be angry, but I don't know how to move forward in this amount of pain with this type of pain, not having an option. So I want to ask you to take us back to that moment with the gun pointed to your head. What emotions specifically were overwhelming you in that moment that you could you could not overcome? Can you name them?

SPEAKER_01: 11:51

Um, you know, maybe this is a isn't I haven't really gone through and recapped all the moments in there, but it's uh shame of not being the dad. This is a big one, not being the dad that my kids needed, being there for them uh every night to read to them and whatnot. My when I was uh uh eight, nine, my dad disappeared and I thought he was dead. It took me five years to track him down. Um, so there was a huge void there, and many times the the pain from our past, if we don't deal with it and understand it, it will keep us shackled. And because of that pain from our past, we'll make decisions based on the past as opposed to making decisions on how we see ourselves in the future and making decisions based on our future self instead of our past self. So that was a huge uh shame factor because I lived it. I remember when my son was born, Tyler. It's like I'm gonna love you the way that I was. I I knew enough at that point in time that if I said, I'm not gonna be like my dad, typically people end up being like their dad because it's dealing with bitterness. I'm like, I'm gonna love you the way you deserve to be loved. And so that was like one of my my core values. And not seeing my kids, I mean, I literally, Janelle, I would when they would come over, I would film the entire event, I would make these DVDs, I would send them home with with with them so they could watch it when they went home with their mom. And I just wanted to imprint on their lives a dad who loved them. And then I would look at I literally to like three, four in the morning, I would go through all the photos and I would be just bawling my eyes out and looking at their photos and just the pain of not being there with them and not being able to communicate. That was probably the the the hugest probably shame, pain, and it's not logical. You know, emotions aren't logical because me taking myself out of their life, I'm definitely not gonna be able to love them and things like this. I wasn't looking at it like, well, when I'm with them, I'm gonna love them how I could. My mind was just it was just twisted, but that was probably the the biggest shame and regret I had at that moment. It was there was there was a a myriad of things because I was really successful, and now I couldn't even, I mean, sell myself out of a wet paper bag. I mean, I my mind was just so just gone. And I just I just couldn't function correctly. So there were so many different things that added from all sorts of different things, the shame, the loss, you know, my kids, you know, what did people think about me, which really wasn't a big deal after such a time because I was just in a lot of pain. But it was the culmination of all those different things. I could probably rail uh probably list 15, 20 different things, but that was probably the main core of it, is just how I grew up and not wanting to be uh or just wanting to be the opposite of that.

SPEAKER_00: 15:29

Um, so right, uh, how did your brain process that level of despair? When you look back, how do you understand those feelings through the lens of neuroscience now that you've come forward so far away from that moment to learn that your thoughts create your reality? Right. We we we talk about talk about that a lot, that you were in a downward spiral that you couldn't stop because your brain was clinging to all of those lies that your soul was believing. And because you were believing those things, your body was producing chemicals, all of these negative toxic emotions that physically weighed you down. I mean, do you do you can you go back to that moment or to the that time in your life and notice the physical difference that you feel in your body now versus then?

SPEAKER_01: 16:21

Yes, that's that's that's the short, that's the short answer, okay? Most definitely. So it was a journey to get here. So if you like I said, I suppressed all my emotions, and it wasn't like I got out of that time and and started to move forward and got to a place with another position, and I I really started to be successful, but I was still not understanding for several years the processing of emotions and whatnot. So just going back, if you don't process, deal with things that happened in your life, like I said, I was suppressing everything, it will come back much uglier later on in life. So imagine here I'm 40 at the time, and I've suppressed all these things from many tragic happenings. We all struggle, we all have things that happen to us in our life, and I had to suppress them. Well, after the death of my mom, the I I didn't know, I didn't understand how to deal with bereavement and mourn. I had no clue about that. And then my dad, and then the divorce, and and and just losing everything, it was just so intense. My it was my brain was just firing off with all the chemicals that will suck the life out of you. So to circle back, if now I'm more self-aware than I wasn't. So if I start to feel something, I'm like, oh, I get curious, why am I feeling that way? Oh let's just say, let's just say something that we all deal with imposter syndrome. So if I'm feeling like I'm less than, I have doubts, I'm an imposter. So I have a 3D process I go through, and I learned this from I can't remember the guy's name or I'll give him credit. 3D process is okay, you hear a message in your brain, and your brain lies to you most of the time. You got 40 to 80,000 thoughts, yeah, 40 to 80,000 thoughts a day. And so becoming self-aware, and this is what with EI, EQ, whatever you want to call it, is being self-aware. It starts with ourselves. You can't be emotionally intelligent if you don't first understand and manage and control your own emotions. If you don't do that, they'll control you. That's where I was with a gun in my head. They were controlling me. So now it's like I'm an imposter. So you think about okay, you're feeling this way. What's the story you're telling yourself? I'm an imposter. Then that's the first dimension. This is a 360-degree way of looking at your thoughts and processing processing them correctly. And then the second dimension is what are the facts? So if I would say I'm an imposter, that's what the story I'm telling myself. So the second dimension is what are the facts? Well, let's just use what I do for my business. I help people identify, attract, and onboard new clients, and help develop leadership teams. How many businesses have I helped? Hundreds. How many recommendations have I got from them? Many. Many, hundreds. So now it's contradicting the facts with the story I'm telling myself. Okay, so now I'm starting to, okay, I get this. And then the third dimension is what if the opposite story is true? So I'm having imposter syndrome. So usually it's when I'm going into something big that's outside of my comfort zone. It's like this is an opportunity. And so I'm changing the story I'm telling myself. This is an opportunity for me to grow because this is above and beyond what I've done previously. And so just by doing that, it's a simple, easy process to take myself through the emotions, deal with them, and then I can move forward. It happens so quickly. But getting into the neuroscience and the brain chemicals and the biohacks, I'm a biohacker. I have like eight biohacks I do every day. So I can do that. Don't get too far in. We're not there yet. Yeah. I can change, I could, I'm not gonna go down that, but I just there's so many ways that you could change the chemicals in your brain quickly. So we can we could talk about that a little bit. We're gonna take into it.

SPEAKER_00: 21:06

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I want to ask you another question because that knock at the door in that moment, it's almost cinematic. You could probably you could probably film a movie about that moment because a lot of people are gonna have and go, really, that really happened. Yeah, it really happens. Miracle happen miracles happen all the time. I believe that. Um, I want you to go back and what did it mean to you in that moment? How did that moment completely pull you out of this moment of you were going to take your own life? I mean, obviously, a stranger knocking on your door and saying, I'm supposed to be here, you know, are you just like, what the heck? Like, were you incredulous or were you just completely overwhelmed and gobsmacked by what was in front of you?

SPEAKER_01: 21:49

Yeah. So it wasn't a stranger, it was someone that I knew. Um the it's it wasn't like, hey, you know, the the class. The sun shone down on me, a light. When you're in deep, deep, deep depression, it was just like it was just enough of a pattern interrupt to keep me from following through on that. That was that was it. And that's the power of community. When when you separate yourself, you're in for heap big trouble.

SPEAKER_00: 22:30

Well, did that so was that your last? I mean, uh, this is you being a little bit raw here, but was that your last moment where you were in that moment of ready to take your life? Did you ever have a moment where you you went back, spiraled, and and went to that place again?

SPEAKER_01: 22:44

It's I mean, thoughts have come to mind, but I never I never took it that far. Thank God. It was I ne I never went that that far. And it was it was just enough of a pattern in a rough just like, wow, I almost took my life. And you know, like I told you, it was many years before I even acknowledged that to other people, and I started talking about that simply because uh there's other people that struggle, and it would be selfish of me just because of I don't want people to think a certain way about me to not talk about it, and I don't want to live my life about what other people think about me. By the way, we don't know what people think about us, because we can't read people's minds. It's not what we think about people or what we think people think about us, it's what we think they think about us, and therein lies the problem. So it wasn't to your question directly, Janelle. It wasn't, hey, everything is is it was a long journey because I still didn't understand, I didn't have people to help me, the community. Now I did get involved with some men, they would actually come over Saturday morning, like 7 a.m. And we had a um a small group and it was a Bible study. So they knew that I was struggling and in a deep place. So I had these people that even though I was in such a dark place, they loved me and they showed up every morning at or not every morning, every Saturday morning at 7 a.m. And we would do a community. And so that was something that helped give me perspective because now I wasn't just isolated by myself. I had men that were in my life speaking life into me.

SPEAKER_00: 24:36

But you had to take the step to go meet someone or be open to meeting somebody, so so it wasn't just like you changed your mind and started living differently, right? I think I posted yesterday, uh, well, it won't be yesterday when this podcast goes live, but I'm talking about the definition of insanity, which is we keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And I think a lot of us think, well, if I just if I just have good thoughts and I tell myself I'm never gonna do that again, or that was stupid, or you know, whatever. But you have to do something different to get different results. And so you made the choice to step out of your isolated habits, right? Self-hatred habits, depression habits that are sometimes physically crippling. Um, and that's where I talk a lot about neuroscience and the mind-body connection. Because when you have the thought that I'm I'm whatever the thought was that was driving you, I'm a bad dad, I'm not worth, I'm worthless, whatever that might be. The science in your brain, the chemicals in your brain go look for affirmations that what you're thinking is true. Okay. So you almost are in a non-winnable battle when you choose to lean into a thought that says, I'm not worthy of love. That was that was my pre-programming. I'm not worthy of anything good or to be loved. That was just it. And so, because I was so in tune with that thought, every time I'd have someone come into my life who genuinely tried to love me, I was convincing myself by saying, No, you don't, because look at all of the evidence that counters what you say. And I'm gonna believe that over my belief that I am lovable, I am worthwhile, right? That's just how our brains are designed to be as humans. And so I want to call out if if this is you, if you're listening to this podcast and Chaz right now and thinking, well, that's me, I can't get myself out of this downward mental spiral where my imposter syndrome or my inner critic is just louder than any other voice that I can hear or see or think or do or you know take in, then this is where the rubber meets the road. Because if you stay there, if you don't take action now to step out of that space, to tell that imposter syndrome to go take a hike, Mike, because there it's lying to you and you're not overcoming that lie with the truth, like Chaz is talking about, then you will forever be stuck here. So now is the moment that Chaz and I are gonna get into the physical how. So, Chaz, I really want us to start to dig into how you became self-aware through this process years later, but you now have understood these neurobiohacks that we're gonna talk about because they are proven to work. And so you don't have to give us all of them, but I would really love for you to offer two or three biohacks that have worked for you and give us the nitty-gritty of what you do, how you do it, and can quantify for us, if possible, how that has helped you take a 180-degree turn away from that moment, how however many 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_01: 27:39

Yeah, and so it wasn't like it's I think it's like 2000 about eight, around eight years ago. I had another thing that came up in my life, and I knew that if I didn't deal with this, it was gonna lead to bitterness and whatnot. And so I'm like, okay, common denominator here is you, Chaz. So I really just got immersed in the science of behavior, what makes our us function, and started learning about biohacks. And one of the first things I did when I was going through that is I got the the book, uh Victor Frankel's book, um, Man Search for Meeting. And Victor Frankel and his whole family were in concentration camps during World War II. His whole family was killed, and he learned to have hope in a hopeless situation. And I read that book because I wanted perspective. And so one of the biggest things is perspective. Your perspective can keep you stuck in mediocrity or it can be a springboard that takes you into your potential. So you when you shift your perspective, here he is talking about hope in a concentration camp during Nazi Germany. His whole family was killed. Yet he had hope. Uh the other thing I did is you may not think this is a biohack, but it's it is, is I started serving people that were less fortunate than me. And so I would go out on the weekends, I had these care packages, I was in a men's group and we put these care packages together for the homeless, and I would sit down and I would just listen to their story. I would give them this package, I would pray, pray with them if they would allow me to. And I always left that time with tears rolling down my cheeks, just thankful because it gave me perspective. So getting out and serving other people less fortunate to you is the quickest way to change your perspective and get a paradigm shift. So to nowadays, when I wake up, first thing I do is I journal 10 things I'm thankful for. Okay, that's what I start there, and then I talk about the things I get to do, not have to do, which is a huge uh shift. For most of my life, I lived in so much scarcity, and I still go there, but I'm more self-aware. So I think about oh, my my bookkeeping is a mess. I get to figure out, and I I say this empowered by you, Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, I get to figure out how I can fix my books and find the right person. So I shift, I get to, not that I have to, and it used to be all the things that I have to do and the things I don't have. Now it's about I'll probably write a book someday. I get to. So now it's all about I get I get to, and all the things and people I have in my life. I mean, it's as simple as I brush my dog's teeth every day. My CFO, my chief fund officer. And I used to I used to wake up, but I can't but I catch myself because now I'm self-aware. I gotta brush her teeth. I used to do it every other day. I do it every day now, but I gotta brush her teeth today. You know what? If she wasn't here, I wouldn't have to brush her teeth, but she is here. I get to. So it's just it's it's such a small, funny thing, but because you know, dogs do not like their teeth being brushed.

SPEAKER_00: 31:17

I have a cheat for that. I have a cheat for that.

SPEAKER_01: 31:19

What's that?

SPEAKER_00: 31:20

It's called Pet Co Lab. It's a green powder that you put in their food. Yeah, it's great.

SPEAKER_01: 31:27

I that's I have that, but I still brush her teeth. But I brush her teeth with that stuff on the toothbrush. So, anyway, so but so those little things with the the journaling. I mean, I'll get in the mirror in the morning and I'll say, Chaz, I love you, Chaz. I love you, Chaz. I love you. I do it 10 times.

SPEAKER_00: 31:46

Is that weird when you started that self-affirming? Was it weird?

SPEAKER_01: 31:50

It is, and it was it was, I forget the white-haired older gentleman, I think he's deceased now. Really wise mentor guy, can't remember his name, but he said that no, not Moses. No, this wasn't a burning bush experience or anything like that. So it's like this sounds kind of, but you know what? A lot of times we don't realize, you know, it's the inner dialogue. If we don't control the inner dialogue, it will control us. And so those things I do Wim Hof breathing, I go outside, I look not in the sun, but so my eyes can see the sun. It helps reset your circadian rhythm. And I do Wim Hof breathing, and then I do yoga nidra, which is not twisting myself into pretzel exercise, it's meditation for the mind. So those two things help me be able to bring in the chemicals, the good chemicals, the oxytocin and all those different things. And so I shift and I put the right chemicals in my brain instead of waking up and just getting into this. I'm worried about this and worried about this. I start and then I exercise and then I do hot or I do a uh hot sauna. Sauna is hot, a sauna, then a cold plunge. So those things in the morning shift. So I'm in a good place to take on the day, and I do intermittent fasting uh every day, usually 16 hours, but I go up to stages of 17, 18, 19. Sometimes I'll fast longer. And when you go 17 hours or longer, there's uh some peer-reviewed uh papers, it your cells reproduce faster, and it's also been shown to. I mean, you could do the research and look this up where it can reduce or eliminate Alzheimer's, dementia, um, and it just gives you an alertness for me with the cold plunges and everything else that I didn't have before. So those are some biohacks that I do that shift and change my entire thought process as I'm bringing in the good chemicals as opposed to just living on cortisol, which is a stress chemical. But I mean, we couldn't need cortisol because it wakes us up in the morning. So sometimes it gets a bad name. But those are some of the biohacks that I use and do daily that have transformed my life. And cry therapy is the last one I'll mention. I since I suppressed my emotions most of my life, I didn't cry. And as a as a guy, I know it's a little bit different these days, but I I didn't cry because it's like, hey, I'm a man, men don't cry. And I was I had this immense headache. I mean, it was debilitating for two months. It's it was like a tuma. If you ever saw kindergarten cop, it was like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not a tuma, it's not a tumor. But if it felt like a tumor was trying to break out of my brain, it literally fell that felt that way. So I was talking to a uh my coach, and she said, Chaz, maybe you need to cry. I'm like, Cry? And she was telling me, yeah, she suppressed her emotions. And so when she has this pain in her body, it's like a sign that she has to cry. So she'd put on a romance movie, and 90 minutes later, she would ball her eyes out, and she'd be able to identify the emotions and whatnot. And I'm like, Well, I don't want to wait 90 minutes. So after our Zoom session, I YouTube searched how to cry real hard, real fast. And there's a video of soldiers coming home and the kids and their spouse, and Janelle, like 20 seconds into that, I was just bawling like a baby. I mean, hey, and and it was amazing because I was crying, but I wasn't out of control like when I was depressed here 21 years earlier, and I was able to spot the emotion and identify it and process it. And you know what? 10 minutes later, that headache was gone and didn't come back. And then when I was I had had that headache in the same place, I knew hey, I need to do cry therapy. So that was something now. Today, like my my daughter's best friend's little brother just died. He's 17, tragic. He had leukemia, and I was involved with just posting about him and going to the prayer walk, and I was just bawling my eyes out because I'm just in a much more sensitive place in my life where I can feel emotions. That's why God gave them to us in the first place, right? And now I can do that so I don't have to do the cry therapy because I I respond the way that I should normally.

SPEAKER_00: 36:41

If that's yeah, I mean, we I think we have to address the fact that emotions, and I think I say this all the time, but emotions are energy when you feel good and positive and your brain's being flooded with the happy chemicals, right? That we feel good. I'll go out for a walk, I'll go ask my husband out on a dinner date, I want to go meet up with my family for cards. Like you want to be with other people and having a good time and you feel great. That's the energy of those emotions. When it's the other side, when it's the negative emotions of fear, depression, anxiety, loneliness, I mean, you name it. There's so many we could name. That is physical energy in your body. And because you were suppressing those emotions, which I think a lot of us are raised to do because you don't want to be overly emotional in public. Uh, the saying of it's not personal, it's just business, uh, it's a lie, but I and I hate that term, but that's kind of how most of us were raised to think. And so we we are not encouraged, in my opinion, as a society, to embrace our emotions, to accept our emotions, to face our emotions. And so those negative emotions that we suppress physically, scientifically, have been proven to have chronic health issues, gut issues, breathing issues, headache issues. Um, I mean, there are so many. And I think it's brilliant for you to have found this cry therapy thing to realize that there was suppressed emotion that was that your head was holding on to, whether it was a thought or a memory or whatever it was, the pain was right here. And by releasing that and being in touch with your emotions, that pain disappeared, right? And I think one of the one of the key highlights of this conversation with you for me when we first talked was for you to go through the first half of your life not in touch with your emotions. And here you are now, you're a successful businessman and a role model for resilience. What for you, Chaz, is the most powerful lesson you've learned about turning pain into purpose? What do you think if you were to summarize up all of this into one powerful lesson that you could share, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01: 38:54

What's the silver bullet? There it there isn't one. It's the culmination of everything, Janelle. It really is. It's you know, all of the the biohacks and the understanding, becoming self-aware with emotions, embracing the emotions which you just alluded to, all those things are very important. But something really transformed my life recently that's really kind of is taking me to a much deeper, more meaningful place, and that was understanding my God-given identity. I was reading a book by Jamie Winship called Fearless Living, and it was one of those books that I consider most of my books through Audible, and I would just stop, listen, and go back. I've been through it many times, and he talks about we all have a God-given identity. You know, when Jesus saw Simon, he called him Peter because it was it was who he was. Simon wasn't. Uh, you know, Abram became Abraham, Sarah, they and the H on all these names had significance because God has created each and every one of us with a unique identity. So as I was going through this, Janelle, I I was on Saturdays. I rest. This is one of the huge biohacks. I try to unplug, I spend extended time with God. And I remember just one day I was I was fasting and extended fast, and I was praying. And I'm like, God, what is it that you want me to know about myself? And I didn't hear an audible voice, but I sensed it in my soul. You are a mighty warrior with a tender heart. I'm like, okay. What do I do with that? And then I I I heard, sensed. When I say heard, it was an audible voice. It's you are a giver of life. So I'm like, okay, wow. Mighty warrior with a tender heart. What does that mean? When I'm living out of my to understand your true identity, you have to eliminate your false identities. I had I went through a process of like, uh, I'm not worthy because my dad disappeared, uh, I'm less than, I don't have enough, all these different things. I had to identify that to clear me, to hear from God, to understand. So I'm a mighty warrior with a tender heart. It's I'm going to face my challenges head on, not going to shrink from them, but I have empathy and I care for other people. So I'm not going to use them. I'm here as a giver of life. And there's a verse that says, There's power in the tongue to give life or death. So I'm going to speak. If I'm living out of my true identity, I'm here to speak life into people. And so, you know, you call it a biohack or whatever, is when you understand for me personally, I understood my identity. Now I'm living and I'm just still learning through this process. I'm living out of my identity, and I'm be do have. I'm being who God created me to be. And then because out of my being who I am, my identity, I'm doing the things I should do, because it's it changes my perspective of what I should do and what I shouldn't do, what I'm not going to waste my time on. And so that has been, if you say like a silver bullet or something, understanding your God-given identity. You then you'll live your life out of who you are, as opposed to just, hey, I'm going to prioritize this and prioritize this and do this and get coached here. This is who you are. When you understand who you are, then you live out of it. You want to hear a quick cool story from that? Yeah. So I my life was being changed, and so I started talking to people, and I'm I started asking them, hey, I this happened to me. I think I'm going to do a small group for founders so they can hear and understand their God-given I hear from God and understand their God-given identity. And people say, Yeah, I want to join this. So I just completed a 12-week adventure. I purchased a license from Jamie. He has an identity exchange. A person uh purchased a license from him, and so we went through a series, and everybody at the end of 12 weeks were like, Wow, I never heard from God before, and now I'm hearing, and so these people were understanding their God-given identity. And so here I am living out of it, giving life to other people because I understand who I am.

SPEAKER_00: 43:46

I mean, I I don't, there's nothing else. That's like a mic drop moment, Chess. Because there's nothing else to say after that. And I um I want to applaud you for being brave and bold about your faith. Um, I as a believer, right? I agree with you wholeheartedly and and can. And align with your story that that was my journey as well. Really having to understand who I was to my core and which uh I call them operating programs, but having a base operating program at a subconscious level that I didn't even know was there, right? That was my driver, that was my imposter syndrome, my internal critic voice that was a liar. And until you as an individual face that, maybe you put a name to it. My husband names his, right? I don't have a name for mine. But when you when you stare that thing, that lie in the face and can confidently say, I am loved, right? I am this, I am this, this is who I choose to be. And you silence that voice with your truth, everything changes, right? And all of the neurobiohacks, like speaking things out loud. Science tells us that our neurons are more impacted by physical words we speak out loud than anything we read or see or hear, right? So, so understanding the mind-body connection through neuroscience has really been my eye-opener to we have been given the most incredible mind-body connection by God on purpose. And it's our job to seek Him and understand what that is. And I think you've done an incredible job at, you know, you didn't have this aha moment and you did a total flip 180 after the knock at the door, and you know, you've been this person for forever, that you've taken your time to take this journey to really understand and accept yourself for who you are and figure out what are my strengths, what am I good at, and what are the lies that I need to stop believing because they're holding me from becoming the best version of myself, who, who, who I've been ordained and created to be, my God-given identity. So I love that you're coming from that perspective and I appreciate you sharing it. Um I wanna I want to give a moment, if there's anyone listening to this podcast who you find yourself in a place of extreme darkness, and you are struggling to find a reason to move forward. Um, I could offer you a piece of advice, but Chaz, I would love it if you could just share what would you say to a listener right now who might be where you were in that moment.

SPEAKER_01: 46:14

The the power of community is so important. Don't when you isolate yourself, that's when you're most res uh uh most likely to get to a darker place. So the shame is gonna take you to places that you don't want to go. So you really have to fight against that and reach out to someone and and get help. I I can't remember, you know, Jim Rogers. My I I I joke because I remember around this time was force gumped, you know, my best good friend Bubba. Well, Jim Rogers was my my best, my only friend that stuck by my side through all this this darkness that I was going through. And he kept showing up. He would call me, he would text me, and it was he and a couple other men that uh started to come over. They knew I was in a bad place. So get around other people. Um, get into a church, you know, get a small group. If if church isn't your thing, just find people that you can hang around. And I'm not talking like virtually, I'm talking about in person. You know, go out somewhere, and is when you're depressed, the last thing you want to do is do something. You know, back in uh 204, I mean, I was like 60 pounds heavier than I than I am now. I mean, I was just eating, that was my my drug of choice, and I was it was just dismal. So getting around other people, community is where to get started, and there's something special about getting around people because they'll check you, they'll call you out, they'll encourage you. All those things that we need, and I have to force myself because when I started my business in 2016, it was 100% virtual, and it's easy for me, especially like after COVID, to be in my space here, having all my conversations like we are right now. So I forced myself to get out, get together with my brothers for coffee, get together with my daughter we got for dinner, get together with my son. I have my small group of people we meet every Thursday night. Um, is get around other people. That would be the thing that I would recommend and be real with who you are.

SPEAKER_00: 48:42

I love that. There's science to that too, right? Yep. The science is that you we we give and accept energy from other people. That's scientifically true. And so when you're around other people who love you, who can encourage you, you're literally inheriting their energy that can help change yours. And here's the other deal I think shame and fear, I think fear is the root cause of most negative emotions, but shame and fear specifically in this place is when you stay silent. The shame and the fear get worse when you stay silent. And I know for me, sharing what I'm thinking and what led me to get to this place where I was ready to take my life, I don't want to tell anybody that. If you don't have a family member or someone who loves you that feel you can reach out to, there are multiple outlets for you to reach out to to ask for help. And if you're listening to this podcast today and that's you, I'm asking you to go right now and pick up the phone and call or text someone you love or reach out to a hotline because today, let today be the day that you decide you are not going to allow the liar of the imposter syndrome or the inner critic in your head to take any more of your life than it already has. Make today that day. Okay. So, Chaz, um, before we wrap, I would really love for you to tell us about um your book, about your business. Uh, this is a time for people to know how they can connect with you and get involved with the work that you're doing today.

SPEAKER_01: 50:50

Sure. So my business is mastery of B2B sales. And I've had several iterations over the year, years since 2016. And my book is the B2B blueprint to predictable sales. And if you have a business, maybe you're looking to hire a salesperson, or maybe you have a sales team. What I help people do, I have I have three different offers. What I help people do is with typically 500,000 to 30 million in sales, is develop the leadership based on core values, emotional intelligence, and then I develop a methodology where I bring sales and marketing together in alignment, working congruently with one another. And so they can hire people to the process, to their standards, to their values, and they can create a culture that performs because people actually enjoy their jobs because it's focused on transforming lives. So if you want a copy of my book, I'd be happy to give you a digital copy. There's video training in there, it's the B2B blueprint. Uh, you can, I don't know if Janelle, you want to share the link, I'd be happy to share that.

SPEAKER_00: 52:03

Um, I've got the link, it'll be in the episode description.

SPEAKER_01: 52:06

Okay, excellent. Thank you so much. And if you want to connect with me on LinkedIn, that's where I'm most active. This Chaz Horn, or you could put my profile link in there and just put Janelle in the subject line so I know. Because I get I get a lot of people who just put connect with me and I have no idea who they are. And uh I have a lot of followers, and so I'm really uh selective with who I connect with and who I don't. But if you put her name in the connection message, then I'll be sure to connect with you.

SPEAKER_00: 52:38

I love that. Well, Chaz, this has been an incredible conversation. Um, I have to thank you for your raw honesty and vulnerability with me today, with our listeners, and um think that we should have you back for another episode. Um, but from my heart to yours, thank you so much for the gift of your vulnerability today.

SPEAKER_01: 52:57

It's great to be here, Janelle. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 53:00

Yeah, absolutely. Well, as we wrap today's episode, I'm gonna encourage you to be inspired to feel deeply, even if those feelings take you to a place you don't want to go, if those feelings lead you to isolation and despair and depression, that those feelings are normal. They are absolutely 100% normal. And I think more people struggle with that place than we care to admit. So don't run or suppress those feelings, but feel them. And then be inspired to be fearless in your feelings. Don't let fear keep you from moving forward. Be fearless in your actions and in your intentional thoughts that today is gonna be a new day, a new path, a new mental choice of who you're going to be and to stay authentically you. Chaz shared today methods and things that work for him that are not gonna work for you. And that's the beauty of this podcast, that's the beauty of humanity, that there are many different ways for you to biohack, neurohack your life and lead a better life, the better version of you. So you have to find what works and stay authentic to you and to keep leaning into your feelings because transformation starts from within. Chaz didn't have a doctor knock on his door and give him a pill and everything was better. It had to start within his heart and his soul and his mind, a choice to live differently and to seek out other people and methods and learnings to help put him on the path that he's on now. Because transformation started from within him, in his mind and in his heart first. That's where we start, right? So I hope this episode was powerful. If you have any inkling to reach out, please do reach out to Chaz, reach out to myself. We are here because we understand the path that you're on if you identify with this conversation today and reaffirm that you are not alone. You're only alone because you choose to be. So make a different choice today. Thank you so much for joining me, and I'll see you all next Friday.