Can One Thankful Thought Rewire Your Entire Brain?

In this episode of Friday Feelings, we explore the life-changing power of gratitude. Jenelle is joined by guest Nick Venturella, musician, marketer, father, and creator of the Grow Loop Journal, for an honest and inspiring conversation about how gratitude transforms our mindset, builds resilience, and reshapes how we experience life’s hardest moments.

Together, Jenelle and Nick unpack how gratitude works at the level of the brain and body, why it’s a practice (not just a feeling), and how it can be cultivated even in seasons of loss, uncertainty, and survival mode. You’ll hear practical ways to begin building a gratitude habit whether through journaling, breathwork, relationships, or reframing your toughest experiences.

This conversation will leave you encouraged, empowered, and ready to embrace one of the most profound tools for emotional intelligence and life transformation: gratitude.

Resources

• Connect with Nick! https://www.linkedin.com/in/nickv/
• Check out his website: https://www.nickventurella.com/
• The GrowLoop Journal: https://www.lulu.com/shop/nick-venturella/the-growloop-journal/paperback/product-95me2ry.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Referenced Material:

• The Tools by Phil Stutz: https://a.co/d/2CK7ur0
• The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron: https://a.co/d/gLb9TrD
• The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins: https://a.co/d/99S0dRX

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Friday Feelings, where we turn emotions into power, vulnerability into strength, and remind you to feel everything, fear nothing, and transform your life. I'm your host, Janelle Friday, and today we are going to answer the question can one thankful thought rewire your entire brain? We're talking about gratitude, folks. And hey, we've talked about gratitude before. And the beauty of gratitude is that from person to person to person, we all have our different concept and idea of what gratitude is, what gratitude is not, and what gratitude can be. And so today I'm really excited to introduce my guest, Mr. Nick Venturella. Nick, thank you so much for your time and um and being willing to talk about this part of your life with me.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Me too. I'm really grateful. So, Nick, you and I met because I was on the prowl for good people on LinkedIn. Um, you are in customer success marketing. Uh, you have an incredible heart and passion for putting good and kindness into the world and being a good leader, which is what drew me to you. So we I reached out, we had a conversation, uh, and we've just building a uh friendship since then. So I would love for you to just share a little bit about you uh for our listeners today.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yeah, you bet, you bet. I'm I'm so I'm Nick. I'm in the Midwest area of of our country here. So um, and I have uh two boys and a wife, and we've been married for about 20 plus years at this point. Um, and it's it's been great. My my boys are uh just started high school and then sort of that third going into fourth grade kind of kind of ages, so so fun ages for sure, but um definitely keep me on my toes and and just grateful to to be here. And yeah, we we we we got to meet um just online and it's it's been a fast front friendship, you know, with a lot of shared values, so it's perfect.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Yeah. So why is gratitude? So, you know, I I I sent to a lot of my guests a list of potential topics to talk about, and you picked gratitude. So, what is it about gratitude that was kind of a draw for you?

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Yeah, I well, so for me, gratitude is just transformative. And I was really reflecting on this the other day, knowing knowing this was coming up, um, and I was thinking about it. It it does, well, it does several things, but one of the things that it does is that it kind of always pulls you, at least for me, and I I've heard this from others as well. So I it's you know, sort of qualitative data here. Um but it pulls you into the moment, into the current moment. So if you're whatever you're feeling, if you're especially if you have negative thoughts, uh it's it's really difficult to try to hold space for a negative thought and then also be grateful at the same time. Um and I have gratitude for gratitude in the sense that the gratitude simply weighs out the the negative, the positive sort of beats out that negative if you're trying to hold those two kinds of thoughts in in the same space. It just doesn't work. So um always lean toward the gratitude and being thankful because that will likely change your mood, even if it's just slightly if you're not in a good mood. And and anything in the past, you know, you can be grateful for the experiences you've learned, but you can also have gratitude for the future and what's what might be coming, even though it's unknown or or to a certain extent it might be unknown. That's why I say that gratitude sort of puts you right in the present moment.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

I love that. And I uh I think you said it perfectly where you you can't be sad, you can't be angry, you can't be um disruptive really when you're in a true mind state of being grateful, being thankful. Um, and so really when I think about gratitude now, because I've had a couple of these conversations and I've really embraced this idea of gratitude, that it's a mindset, it's a chosen mindset to not choose from moment to moment, but to carry throughout my entire day. And um was having a really rough internal argument with myself last night after a circumstance occurred, and all I could hear were you and a couple other people saying, What can you find to be grateful for in this moment? Because again, it's so easy, and hopefully you agree with me that it's so easy to focus on the negative. It's so easy to lean into those emotions and those feelings, especially if they come from previous circumstances and we've felt them before. And why is this happening to me again? You know, that kind of role that just happens and it kind of washes over us. Gratefulness like uproots that and completely transforms you into a brand new state of mind. And so um for me, I know that I keep a gratitude journal. So I write three things down every morning that I'm grateful for. And at any moment I can flip that journal open, go to any page, and go, oh, that's right. I'm so grateful for that. So that's just that's one of my tools. But really, I want you to kind of help us understand how mindfulness and gratefulness is transformative. What is that? How do we use that to our benefit?

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Yeah, so it it truly is. And I want to kind of come back to something you you you mentioned. So it's it is a mindset shift. And I I'm like this, so I'm I assume that others may also find themselves uh being negative. I I don't like to say I'm I'm negative or pessimistic, um, but I am typically fairly critical of things and usually self-critical, like you know, why why couldn't I do better at this or that or whatever? Um and and I think I I do that from a lens of being realistic about realistic outcomes and things like that. So I'm a bit of a realist in that way. So I wouldn't say I'm a pessimist uh because deep down I'm really an optimist. It's just I I feel like the reality is there's certain things and barriers and things you have to overcome. So, but because of that, uh that's why gratitude being a mindset, it's a it's a habit that you have to build and a skill that you have to build because it's very, very easy for people, especially if you're used to having a negative self-talk or just looking at the the negative side of various situations, that becomes a comfort zone. And so even though you may not want to focus on that, your brain has the synapses and the habits wired at the moment to feel comfortable to move in that direction. And so that's why if you flip the script and you try to be grateful and it has to be a mindset and you have to work at it so it doesn't happen easily. Um but if you do it consistently, you start to you start to see that shift and you don't necessarily go into the comfort zone in in this scenario being a negative one uh as often. And it's it's just it's something you have to strive for, and and you're gonna have good days and bad days. Um, so I don't know if I completely answered your question, but I but I wanted to focus on that for a minute.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Yeah, it's a discussion, right? So really um help us help us understand is was there a moment or a catalyst or a circumstance for you that kind of made you shift and go, wow, I really do need to start being more grateful, or gratefulness was what maybe pulled you out of something difficult that made you go, wow, that really actually made an impact.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

There, yeah, there's a few things. So I think I think one was just uh you know, becoming a parent. Anyone who has kids or is around kids a lot, even if you don't have your own, and you see sort of the transformation the parents of those children or you as a parent have to go through, it's no one can tell you what it's gonna be like until you go through. And that's a lot, that's that's how it is for a lot of things in life, is people can tell you what it's gonna be like or what their experience was, but you never fully understand that until you sort of walk through that. And um, it just changes you, and it's and it's really challenging, it's really difficult, it's really rewarding, it's all these things, but it's prior to you know taking this leap into this unknown that is something that's totally gonna change your life in a in every single way possible, you don't know what to expect. And it and it's it can be really tough. And so you have to be grateful. And so I think that was a moment for me realizing like, oh, this like this is a lot of work, you know, especially when you have infants and they're like getting up every two hours at night, and and you're you know, you feel like you have no sleep and all those things. Those things, just for any new parents out there, those things, those that time passes, they they get older and they it gets better. So there's there's always hope, but um, but it's a but it's a change and it and you start to feel like you're in this survival mode. And there are other kids aren't the only thing that make you feel like you're in survival mode, you know, get laid off or whatever the case is. You know, there are plenty of things that make you sort of revert into survival mode where you just you just have to get through the day. You know, you have to do certain things just to just to kind of keep going, to give yourself the hope. Um, but I think that was one moment where I realized, like, okay, uh I'm really grateful for my wife. I'm really grateful for the support we have and that we're doing this together. I'm not on my own doing this, or she's not on her own doing this. Um, I'm really grateful for extended family to to give us respite when the, you know, and and take the grandkid for for a little while. Um, you know, and it was that was a transformative moment where it became a really big um gratitude mind shift. You know, prior to that, I think one of my earlier memories of sort of gratitude was in elementary school, really. It was I was like about fourth grade, and we my family had moved from the St. Louis area to Wisconsin. So and and all of our extended family is like in the St. Louis area. Um and so that's a big and I was you know, I'm like 10 years old at the time. And we move, and I had been out of school, like unfortunately, like I was with my mom and and we had gotten into like a car accident, and and I was like out for a day or so. It wasn't super terrible, but it was traumatizing enough, you know. Um, but I remember coming back and coming into art class, and so I've always been creative, I've always been an artist, drawing, painting, whatever, in and and music and things. And it was one of the first times new, you know, you're in a new city, new school, new all this. You feel like you don't fit in or whatever. And as a kid, you just want to fit in, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:43

So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

It was one of the first times where we had this project, and I had, you know, I got into it. I was like, this is like my wheelhouse, this is great. And I'm doing this project, and it was the first time I realized that maybe I had some creative talents or something that somebody else recognized. So our teachers recognized other kids were like, oh wow, that's great. And it was just kind of above the age appropriate level, I guess. And so that was one of the first times where I was kind of grateful, like, oh, like this is an avenue I can fit in. Thank you. You know, like this. I'm grateful that there's something where I feel like I can assimilate in some way where I don't feel like the outsider as much. Um, so I think that was one conscious thought at an early age to understand um, I guess the impact of gratitude without maybe fully realizing like that's the gratitude mind shift. That didn't come till years later.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yeah. Yeah. But I think you're pointing specifically to right, because I because we talk EQ obviously is is the primary underpinning of all of this. And from a from an emotional intelligence perspective, we're talking about self-awareness first and foremost, to be self-aware enough in that moment to say, wow, I finally found my thing. I finally found that place that I can be myself, that I feel accepted, that I feel like I can take a deep breath. That self-awareness moment led to a moment of gratefulness. And I love that because there could have been other thoughts there, right? There could have been I'm not a I'm not a super star basketball, football, baseball player. I'm not the most popular, good-looking guy in the school. I'm, you know what I mean? There are other things that can come in in those same moments. And you chose gratitude. And I think that's beautiful. I also think, too, we're talking about um emotional regulation and relationship management, right? Because the emotional aspect of what gratitude does is it fills our body with the things that make us happy: serotonin, dopamine, all these other things that are chemical um reactions. And we, and as I teach, right, the chemicals in your brain from the thoughts that you have transition into the emotions and the things we feel. And based on how you feel, as we all know, that's how we behave, right? And so when you have a gratefulness mindset or attitude, I can just imagine you as a fourth grader, right, getting into this niche and you are overwhelmed with a feeling of gratefulness. What happens? It radiates from the inside of you. You're drawing people to you because now you're feeling more confident. It's exuding in the way you talk to people and the way you build relationships, right? It wasn't just a moment of being grateful. It kind of became part of who you are and has built from the inside out, I think, for a majority of your life, which is why you're such a great person. Oh wow. Right? Like that's that's what it does, is those chemicals find their ways through our bodies and your brain likes the feeling of being happy. Your brain, your body like to feel all of those emotions, the positive emotions, because of the chemicals that are that are coursing through your veins. So saying that it's a mindset is also a balance of it's also creating a habit in your brain that those moments that you're being grateful feel really good. And so you should keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Yeah. Well, what's what's cool too, I think, is as, and this didn't come for me at least until later, you know, as I got older and and better sort of understood this and and continued my own self-awareness journey, uh, which is ongoing. You never really master that. But um is just when you can everything you just said about feeling happy and when you're when you're grateful, you you get that feeling of happiness, and and it's sort of you step into abundance in the sense that you have that more confidence, and and others you know start to see that in you and are attracted to wanting to be around you because they they see that and they see you in your authentic self, right where you're supposed to be. The cool thing that I wanted to point out is what ends up happening later on is when you can start to see that radiation happening, and then the people close to you who are attracted to that, and you sort of hit it off and you become friends or whatever the case is, and you're starting to see the influence you might be having on their ability to have gratitude, and then they're starting to do that, and now they're doing that for other people, and then there's this whole ripple effect that happens, and it's it's pretty amazing.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

I agree, and I love that because in relationship management, I think we um we look at others, and I think this is probably a default, and and you know, forgive me for for bringing this onto the onto the show, but I think from a political standpoint, it's really difficult. It's really difficult to be surrounded by people that don't agree with you. It's like it's difficult to be surrounded by hostility on both sides, no matter who you side with. And relationship management is not just about how you relate to others, it's how people relate to you. And if we want to build better connections, if we want to put more good and kindness and respect into this world, it means that we have to be able to live by example. And I'm thinking in the back of my mind as you're talking, I'm like, well, Nick, what about the people that are like, what do I have to be grateful for? I'm broke, I'm overwhelmed, I've got kids that are running around like crazy, I have no money in the bank. Maybe maybe I just lost my job. Maybe I can't afford my home. There are all these really difficult like circumstances that I think we can find ourselves and go, I don't know how to be grateful in this moment because those are big life, life things. And you just went through one of those big life things.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I um was between jobs, you know, layoff, and then and and I was grateful that I found you know, that I found something and found something fairly quickly. Um short sidebar with this. So part of that though was uh I was in a situation where I was a contractor. It it ended earlier than the contract was supposed to. But because I knew I was a contractor, I had been sort of looking and things like that. So that was a saving grace. I was grateful for that. I didn't feel grateful at the time, knowing my contract was going to end and I needed to find something else anyway. But then when it abruptly got shortened um just due to other massive layoffs, um, I was really grateful that I had known that ahead of time and had started looking and I had started building out my network, which is really how you and I connected. Um, because I was just actively reaching out. And then I I and I'm so grateful for having put all that effort in because now I I've met so many new contacts and people who are beautiful people that are, you know, amazing and and helpful in so many ways and supportive. And I'm able to potentially help them in some ways and and things like that. So anyway, I just I wanted to I wanted to pause on that for a moment. So remind remind me of uh I I this is what happens. I go off on a tangent and then that's why I'm here.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

I got you, I got you. Okay, so we're talking about those really big life catalyst moments that most of us in that moment go, I I just got laid off from my job. I don't I have to provide, I have a wife and two kids. How do I be grateful in this moment? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Okay, I got you, I got you. Um and that yeah, so it's it's tough. It's tough to be grateful when you feel like all these things are happening to you. Um but at there's always a choice. Uh and that's that's the thing I think people have to remember. So you you could have all these things going against you and you can choose to let it bury you and have self-pity and and that all that. And and trust me, you want to, because it's like it feels like you're in a in a hole that you can't climb out of. So it's it's not easy to and you are going into battle, a gratitude battle to the you're getting armed with gratitude so you can get out of that hole. Um but you have to look at the silver linings and okay, am I healthy? Like, am I am I I'm alive? You know, I hopefully you want to be alive because there's other things that's a whole nother rabbit trail. That's a whole nother podcast.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

Um but if if that is the case, you need to find people who uh are around you who can help lift you up. But that's the other thing. Take yourself out of you, me, and and who else relies on you? And or who do you rely on that's in your life that is not related to work or related to your circumstances? And what if those folks weren't around or went away? So right there, you're gonna you're gonna find things to be grateful for because it's like, oh yeah, you know, my parents or my good friends or whatever stop by with, you know, a dish to pass because they know we're having a hard time, whatever it is, you know. So uh it's like you have to find gratitude often in the little moments when you're in survival mode, because it's it can really be difficult to have gratitude for big things when you're in survival mode.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Yeah, I agree. I love that. And and I I was gonna, in the back of my mind, I was thinking that's where I find you have to start small. And I say it all the time, but one of the one of my sayings is the smallest things often result in the greatest impact. And in those moments when you've you are so angry because you just got laid off and you don't know how you're gonna pay your bills, or you had a death in your family, or your bank account is at zero and you don't know how you're gonna feed your kids, or or or there's all of these different life circumstances that put us in, I almost feel like a tight wedge and we don't know how to maneuver or operate. So physically, you might not have a lot of options on how you're gonna pay your bills or what kind of job you're gonna be at. But the choice that you're talking about is the mind shift to say, okay, I just lost my job, but I'm really thankful that I have a network of people I can reach out to. I'm really thankful I have a roof over my head. I may not like the roof over my head, but I'm not being right now in Denver snowed on. We're having snow today, right? Um, and I want to shift this to the because you mentioned the relationship piece of this. And I think this is one of those critical moments where um uh my husband and I just watched the new Captain America movie. And there was a line in there that I'm stuck on, and it's when Captain America Sam Wilson says, if I can't find anything good in you, then we've already lost. And in a place where it's me or you, it's us or them, that's very much the mentality I think most of us are surrounded in. I've really come to understand that when I'm talking to someone who disagrees with me and I cannot for the life of me empathize. I don't understand how you believe or think that. I don't understand how you came to that conclusion, that I don't stay there, that instead I'm like, well, what am I grateful for with you? I'm grateful that the difference of opinion challenges me. Question, why do I believe what I believe? I'm really grateful that where you came from in life is a completely different place. And I can learn and grow from that. I'm grateful that you're challenging me in a good mental way to think about life differently. Like it's how you format it, how you view it and structure that mental mindfulness in the moment, right? This is a this is a muscle that you're flexing moment to moment to moment. And it's those little tiny things along the way that ultimately lead to bigger things, a bigger mindset shift that no matter how dark the day might be, no matter how much you're surrounded by relationships or people that you just feel detached from or you can't relate to, that if you look to be grateful, again, you're telling your brain that there's nothing that could stop you. There's nothing that's so bad that will overtake you.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Yeah. And the other thing I would add to that, and that that's that's all true. And and I think too, it is two things. One, when you're in those conversations, especially with people that maybe don't see eye to eye, um my my thought is well, they're they're always entitled to their opinion, as I might, you know, and and so that is what that is, but um, you know, I can be grateful that you know that that they have prosperity in their life, or I'm I'm hoping that they have prosperity in their life, and that whatever it is that they believe is is motivating them forward and that some good will come out of it. But regardless, it's it's that like you said, it's growth, and you can't control what other people do anyway. So it's not really worth being too mired in how they're going to react to you, right? Um, because you can't really control that, but you can control how you respond and how you know you show up um for that other person, and it doesn't, and you can you can be respectful and and totally disagree. And and that's that's that's a hard thing to do right now. It's a hard thing to do in general, I think. Yeah, um, but it's um but it's absolutely possible. The other thing I was gonna say is too that it's sometimes when I'm in survival mode and I feel like it's really hard to find things to be grateful for, I I look at the opposite. I I'm like, you know what? I can be grateful for the fact that all of this could be worse. All of this could be far worse. There's someone out there who wishes they had my life right now while I'm in survival mode. And so that kind of pulls me into the perspective that like, okay, there's there's always a worse scenario. And so it's not that bad if I know there's something worse, or I can deal with this at least in this moment, if I know that there's something worse.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Um, and then I and then that becomes a piece of gratitude, just that perspective.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

I really love that because you're right. I think, you know, just just for the conversation you and I had as we were leading into this and all the things I'm thinking that are stressing me out or that are worrisome, just in this moment, and I'm like, well, wait a sec, it could so be worse. Like, you know, I think I think it's easy to get wrapped up in this moment of I'm overwhelmed, I'm stressed out, there's so many possibilities, I'm feel like I'm stuck, so many negatives, I'm trying to find the positive, but in that moment, it's also, man, I look at my life and I have so much to be grateful for. It could always be so much worse. If nothing changes, if nothing changes, can I find peace and joy and love in this moment? And that is a challenge that I'm asking every single one of you to ask yourself because ultimately the illusion of control is exactly that. We have no control. You have no control if a bus is going to come plowing through the front door of your house. You have no control if a hurricane or an earthquake is gonna decimate. We we we think we have control, but it's an illusion. I'm quoting Jurassic Park here, but but this idea, right, that can it always be worse? Yes. And the things that you can control, that you are given control over, is yourself, your thoughts, your words, your actions, your behaviors. And why not choose the good parts of that? Why not choose to fight to be the best version of yourself if it means that you are the one responsible for making a better life for yourself? Instead of feeling like life is beyond you and it's out of your control, determine the things you are in control of and make good choices. So that kind of transitioned us now into the how, right, Nick, because I I like to write stuff down. I think it's really important that you get your thoughts out of your head in front of you, if that's something you watch, something you look at, something you write down, whatever it be. So, what are your gratitude practices? How would you encourage someone that's like, yeah, it's a good idea, but I don't know what I don't know how to be grateful. I don't know what works for me.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Yeah. So and I just want to make a comment before I dive into that is is and let's let's be real. Like it's you can't just you're not gonna just be grateful all at once, and it's like everything's gonna be better, you know.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Sunshine, rainbows, unicorns.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Or even if you have fine gratitude in a in a in a moment, especially in a survival kind of mode moment, um, it's not just gonna make everything better. Hopefully, what it does do is make that five minutes that you're in that thick of that moment a little bit better.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

And what happens is if you if you build the habit over time, you start to string more of these winds of gratitude together and and you have bigger impacts. And I think that's the goal. So I just wanted to quick revert back to say, like it that's that's that's gratitude in practice, is it's it's a it's an aspirational kind of thing, and we're always striving to be better with it. And that I think the goal is think of a snowball going down a hill. You know, it we're we're trying to get better and better and better at the gratitude and have our gratitude snowball kind of get bigger and bigger and bigger.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Have you um are you a Friends fan, Nick? Did you ever watch the TV show Friends?

SPEAKER_01 28:20

I mean, I watched it. I I don't know if I would say like it's my favorite thing, but but yeah, I mean I've it's so um it was everywhere syndicated, so you couldn't get away from it.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Yeah, well, there's an episode um where Phoebe dates a guy and it's um what is his name? He's one of the brothers, Baldwin. Uh Stephen Stephen Baldwin? Alec Baldwin.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Stephen Alec.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Is Alec the older brother?

SPEAKER_01 28:46

I think Alex the older brother.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Alec is the older brother. Okay, so he he's somebody that she meets, right? And he is Mr. Gratitude Positivity. Uh, like everywhere he goes, he's like, ooh, we're going on the thing. Aces, oh, did you see this? That bounces the tables and ooh, that's amazing. And she goes, not everything is rainbow parker, not everything is sunshine all the time. And I was like, I want to say that that's not what we're looking for. We're not talking about being this unrealistic, positive, happy rainbow sunshine. Everything is wonderful, everything is glorious. No matter how bad things get, I'm always gonna be this sunshine person. That's not that's not what we're saying. Um, because it's not realistic and it's not genuine, it's not authentic. It's not, we're not here to say pretend to be happy when you're not. But I will say this, and then I'm gonna get back to you, Nick, that I was thinking of, okay, what's one thing I could give someone in the work on the worst day of their life to be grateful for? And right now I'm studying breath. I'm studying the power of breath work and the ability to sit and close your eyes and take a breath in through your nose and out through your mouth and feel the breath go in through your nostrils, fill your lungs, take a moment to pause and then let that breath out through your mouth and just be in that moment. You are actually taking back control of your thoughts and a little bit of your nervous system to physically calm your body down. And if you are living and breathing, you're resilient and you have the ability to take that breath right now in this moment. And that's something to be grateful for.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Yep. Yeah, absolutely. And all right, I'm done. No, but and that and that that's as small as it needs to be. Like it doesn't have to be some sometimes. I think people get maybe a little bit overwhelmed or or maybe intimidated is the word, um, by the idea of a gratitude practice in in any shape or form because they're like, Well, maybe I have things to be grateful for, but you know, I don't have these big things. And it's like, well, you don't need big things, you know. And in fact, most people who have big things to be grateful for started out with very, very little things.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

And the brain reacts to gratefulness, whether it's big or small. The brain doesn't know the difference. It's it's it's your thought that generates the chemicals that pulls you out of that moment of despair, even if it's for a moment. And that's what we're looking for. His you have a moment to moment, and eventually your brain sees those moments and connects them together and strings this along, and that's where you see the mind shift.

unknown 31:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

And the mind shift is is the sustainability of being able to see those small moments often. Right. You know, so so that's good. Um, so we're getting back to what what gratitude practices. That's I think that was the question. Yes. Is that correct? Okay. So for me, I I also like to write. So I like to journal. I have been doing that for years and years. Um, I it's not really a joke, but my kids sort of joke with me about it. I I I have volumes of journals. Um, so that's my legacy to my kids one day when I'm not here. So they can see how cool or maybe crazy dad was. I don't know. A little bit of both. Yeah, probably maybe, maybe the craziest mostly. But um, but I I'm also, you know, I've been a musician forever and an artist and like songwriter and stuff. So that's where like getting ideas out and telling stories that help me decide what my places in the world or how I see and react and feel and deal with the emotions that I have in the world that I'm in. Um, that's what writing has been for me and and and art in general. Usually the art comes out of ideas I've been writing about anyway. So it's like it's all connected for me in that way. So my gratitude practice is to journal on a regular basis um and usually identify the things I am grateful for in that process. Um, or if I'm struggling with something, and we kind of talked about this, uh, or you alluded to it a little bit earlier. And I know you and I have talked about this previously, is I need to get it out of my head. Um, and if I get it out of my head, the feelings, whatever, then I feel like I can articulate um, I can basically for myself, my own self-awareness, if I can get it out and just vomit on the page, whatever it is I'm feeling and dealing with, it's there in a physical form. It's no longer in my brain. Um, and I can look at it a little bit more objectively, if that makes sense. And then I feel like I'm able to articulate and sort of parse through my feelings a little bit more clearly. And um, and that is the growth I feel like is happening for myself in terms of self-awareness and and and becoming a better version of myself every every day. Um, and for that practice, just the act of doing that and reflecting on that growth on whatever I've written and vomited on the page, um, I'm grateful for. And so that in and of itself is a gratitude practice. But more explicitly, often I will write things I'm grateful for within there, especially if I'm juxtaposing that with something like I'm struggling with. It's like, okay, I just wrote, I I'm feeling this, I'm feeling crappy about this or that or whatever. Well, what is something good I could be grateful for is what I have started to get into the habit of. And so now that's in there as well. And and then when I go back, it's just easier to sort of have clarity around it. Like I said, a little more objectivity. Um, and I think that's that's a process is to how how do you process the information so you can be grateful? And for me, that's that's the writing. But for others, it might be something else, it might be going for a walk, it might be exercise, which is also gonna release a bunch of endorphins for you. Um and that can help you think clear more clearly and just feel better. Uh, so it could be a variety of things.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Yeah, I love that. I also I'm also a writer, I'm not as consistent as I I should be, uh, admittedly, but I also find too that when I write things down, sometimes I'll write something down and go, oh, that's what I'm thinking right now. Do you find that you have moments when you write that you're like, wow, that actually surprises me?

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Yeah, or it surprises me sometimes in a also in I don't know if this was your intent, but the way I took it sometimes in relating it back to myself is I'll write something down and I'll be like, This is what I'm dealing with, and I'll look back at it and be like, oh, that's really not that big of a problem. That's like like really. I was yeah, yeah. Um just just to have that distance from yeah thinking about it and getting it out and then being more objective about it. And it's like, oh, well, yeah, I can come up with like ways to solve that, you know.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

Well, and I the the other spin on this is sometimes they're not even your thoughts. Sometimes the things that come out of my brain were other person, someone else's words, right? We we cling, we tend to believe the bad before we believe the good. I think that's pretty much a human trait. And I know for me, when I'm in a state of I'm having a really hard time, I'm trying to be grateful, or I'm trying to figure out what it is that I'm actually feeling or thinking. And I'm looking at the pages on the word, I'll go, oh my gosh, that's my mom, or oh my gosh, so-and-so said that to me 10 years ago. Why is that still there? That's why it's important to get it out of your head because the thoughts in your brain are not always your own thoughts. And when you don't get it out, sometimes it's really hard to differentiate the two. And practicing gratitude is also in relationships. And I was listening to this podcast the other day that talked about how gratitude in their marriage changed everything. That instead of saying I love you all the time, instead of focusing on acts of service or quality time, the five love languages, it simply became gratefulness to say, I so appreciate you doing that. I'm so thankful that you were able to come pick me up from the airport. I really appreciate you doing the dishes. And it's it's more than just saying I love you. You're acknowledging that person and what they did in a way that most of us are not used to. And the more you practice that for yourself and in the relationship, it becomes this totally different way of viewing that person. And you're in a state of gratefulness in the relationship, then.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Yeah, yeah. No, I love that. In in um, in my own marriage, we do things like that. And what's been good about that um is now seeing my kids will start to like thanks, mom, for dinner or whatever, uh, you know. Uh, and it's like, okay, we're teaching manners, which you know, manners are free.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

Yes, they are. An important part of life. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

But I mean, that's just like a small, but but but it's a but it is a um, you know, and it's it's an expression of love in in a from from a state of gratitude, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

I agree. Um, well, so I I really love this. I'm I'm curious, are there any resources? Um, because we're I'm gonna give you a chance here to talk about what you're doing, how people can connect with you. Um, but my first question is if someone really wants to dig into this more, is there a book? Is there another podcast? Is there anything else that you can say? Go check this out, or this really helped me maybe.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

Where do we begin?

SPEAKER_00 38:06

Um how much time do you have, Janelle?

SPEAKER_01 38:11

Right, for sure. So um a book called The Tools is a great book by Phil Stutz. He is a um um it's either psychologist or psychiatrist. I think he's a psychiatrist. Anyway, he's been around for a long, long time. Amazing book, a lot of really practical advice. It's it's more than it's not just gratitude, but it's it's just uh how to deal with various things. And that's why it's called the tools, because these are simple exercises to deal with anxiety and various other things, but it usually can lead to gratitude. So I think that's an amazing, an amazing book. Um, if you are creative or an artist or a musician or any of those kinds of things, The Artist's Way is like one of my favorite books ever by Julia Cameron. Um it is more about the act of sort of creativity being somewhat of a spiritual experience for a lot of people and and how how to tap into that for yourself if that's something that drives you. And as a result, you become kind of grateful for a lot of things just in that process. So I would just I would definitely check that out. There's there's a million other things lately. I've been listening to Mel Robbins podcast. Uh, if you know Mel Robbins, um, she just came out with a book called The Let Them Theory, which um I have yet to get.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

Alice mentioned that to me just about a week ago, actually.

SPEAKER_01 39:41

Yeah, it's a it's it sounds like a great book. I want to I want to get it and read it. It I think it recent just recently came out, but let them theory. I and hopefully I'm Mel, if you're listening, uh hopefully I'm not you know messing this all up. But essentially the idea is that, and we kind of talked about this a little bit before, is you can't control what other, you know, how people are gonna show up in reaction to you. Um, so let them is kind of the thing. And then take your time and energy back to then focus on let me and focus on yourself and how you can, you know, self-awareness and self-improvement and growth.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Love that. Um, so those are I'll make sure to I'll connect all those books in the in the description so people can uh pick those up if they want to. So yeah, Nick, now I'm a person that says, man, I want to get to Nick know uh get to know Nick better. Where can people find you? Tell us what you're working on uh and and what's got you going right now.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

Yeah, yeah. So I so we talked, I I recently landed a role at Watermark, which serves is a tech company that serves the higher ed industry. And um, I'm a customer marketer for them. But beyond that, I have my own side business that I've had for years uh called Nick Venturella Endeavors. And it's just it's really broken up into three sections. It's mindset, marketing, and music. So sort of an alliteration, but the music is also like sort of any creative output. But um, and I and I write a ton. I have a newsletter called The Investors, the Investors Club, which is all about investing in yourself so you can invest in others. And it's a lot of similar kinds of EQ and other things that we talk about, just in terms of navigating everyday life. Um, but then we talk about like marketing. I'm a big believer that no matter what you do, you have to sort of market yourself or um let other people know that you do what you do, even if it's just that you want to be grateful for all the people in your life. You gotta let them know that. And then when you do that, you start to build connection points. And that's how you build community, that's how you build a network, that's how you, you know, be of service to others. And I think that's servant leadership is kind of what that marketing aspect is really about when I'm talking about that. And then music and creativity, it's just really a connection point for people. So music and creativity bring people together. It can be a shared experience, it can you can relate to a song or to a piece of art or any of those kinds of things, and that also brings those people together, that also brings that network together, that also is another opportunity for servant leadership, for gratitude, for all sorts of things. So there's there's like a through line for all of that stuff. And so I write a lot about these things. I've books, I've services, you know, I perform and get paid and do all these other things. So so that's that's that whole side business. And with that, I do have a journal um that I put together, a journaling system, really called the Grow Loop Journal. So nickventarella.com, that's where you can find me and anything about me, as well as the Grow Loop Journal. Just a real brief on that. It so I Dr. James Pennebaker, I think I'm saying his name correctly, was an inspiration for this journal because he was uh did a bunch of research around expressive writing and its effects on not only your brain and like gratitude and things like that, but also that has a positive effect on your immune system, your like physiological health. Um, and so it's like writing can save your life, is is like the extreme version of that. Um, and so that made me want to create this system. And so what it is is that it's a journaling system that has very, very simple prompts every day. And then you score, it's like four prompts. What are what are the actions you're gonna take today? Like if you're trying to reach a goal, what are the victories? So if you're recapping, reflecting in your journal writing on previous day or whatever, did you do the actions you said you were gonna do the day before? Um, what's an act of kindness you've done today? And then what's at least one thing you're grateful for? And then it's got a little scoring sheet, and you just circle your score. And then in the back of the journal, there's a little square for every day of each month, and you color red, yellow, green based on your score. And that there's a mood score that goes with it. And the idea is that over time you see that. And at least when I've done it several times, I've gone from red, yellow, red, yellow, red, yellow, yellow. Green, green, green. Like you see the progression of how your mood and your and your habits change as you're doing acts of kindness and you're more grateful, and then you're building confidence and taking action and having victories by completing those actions. So if that's something of interest, check out the Girl Loop journal. That's also on my website. And then LinkedIn. You can find me on LinkedIn as well. Just look up Nick Venturella.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

Amazing. I cannot thank you enough for indulging the conversation, for sharing. Um, I mean, I uh you've got way more years under your belt with empowering people through EQ and all the ways that you're putting yourself out there to help others. So thank you for being you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for giving of your time today. Uh I'm really, I'm really grateful.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Yeah, likewise. Thank you for having me. This has been a complete pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 44:48

Awesome. Love it. Well, as we wrap today's episode, uh, I'm gonna remind you to be inspired to feel deeply. And if those emotions are difficult, to find one thing, to take a breath and remind yourself that you are still living, you have breath in your lungs. Um, and and that is something to feel deeply and be motivated and thankful for, to live fearlessly, to not allow the difficulties of life to keep you from moving forward, to be fearless in the choices and the actions that you're making for the good and the betterment of yourself and the others around you, and to stay authentically true to yourself. We're not telling you not to feel. This is not about sweeping things under the rug. It is very simply an offer that no matter how dark or how bad things might be, there is always something to be grateful for and to stay true and authentic to the person that you were choosing to be, not who you were yesterday. And keep leaning into those feelings because we know that transformation starts from within. Thanks so much for joining me on another Friday Feelings episode, and we will see you all next week.