Is Freedom Just One Breath Away?

In this episode of Friday Feelings, Jenelle Friday sits down with transformational speaker and author Sam Kabert to explore a deceptively simple question: Can your breath change your life? The answer, according to Sam and the science he shares is a resounding YES!

Sam opens up about the moment breathwork transformed his world from the inside out, despite outward success as a Silicon Valley entrepreneur. He dives into the concept of Soul Life Balance, shares his 6-step BREATH framework, and explains why surrender isn’t about giving up, it’s about letting go of control and finding power in presence. Together, Jenelle and Sam unpack how breathwork can help us confront trauma, regulate emotions, and stop living on autopilot.

This powerful conversation bridges the gap between neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and spiritual growth, offering tangible practices like the 90-second rule and the "ninja breath" to help you lead with intention and clarity. Whether you're skeptical or searching for something more, this episode invites you to pause, breathe, and see what's waiting beneath the surface.

Resources:

• Connect with Sam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kabert/
• Listen to his podcast Soul Seeker: https://open.spotify.com/show/17i3xvuAhNxO80SVARfvnb?si=dc2e0054e30e47b0
• Check out his website: https://samkabert.com/
• Grab your copy of his book "Soul Life Balance" here: https://a.co/d/3QE4mwo
• Join Sam's Breath Club here: https://samkabert.com/breathclub/

Referenced Materials:

• Hero's Journey by Joseph Campbell: https://a.co/d/2w0zCrz

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:18

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Freddy Feelings, where we turn emotions into power, vulnerability into strength, and remind you to feel everything, fear nothing, and transform your life. I'm your host, Janelle Freddy, and ma'am, let me tell you about our episode today. The question we are going to answer is can your breath transform your life? I am really excited to introduce my very special guest, Sam Kbert Cabbert.

SPEAKER_01: 0:45

K Bert, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 0:47

Thank you. Sam Kabert to the show. Um, Sam, I'm just gonna say it right out. I'm so honored and thrilled to have you here with me today. So thank you for taking time.

SPEAKER_01: 0:55

Janelle, I'm super grateful for uh the opportunity to be here with you and your listeners. And I listened to a couple of your shows and you do a great job. And I'm I'm so in alignment with everything that you're about. So I'm so stoked to have this conversation with you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10

Yeah. So um, Sam, the reason you're here today is because I'm trying to be uh the the company I that I own is called Lionheart, and Lionheart means bold and courageous, and that's how I choose to live my life every day. And so I've been more bold and courageous in connecting with people that I don't know who are in alignment with my personal goals. And so I reached out to you on LinkedIn and I was like, hey, I'm Janelle. I have a podcast. You want to come chat on the podcast? So this is actually our first real conversation, and we're gonna wing this entire episode um out of respect for your time. And I'm actually really excited to wing it because I think it's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47

Yeah, it's the best. It's just a natural conversation. And you know, LinkedIn, that's what it's there for. It's a it's a networking uh platform. So hey, we're using it right.

SPEAKER_00: 1:57

That's right. I love it. All right. Well, so Sam, if you would be kind enough to tell our audience a little bit about you and why breath work is one of your primary passions in life.

SPEAKER_01: 2:06

So I'll answer the question now. Uh, not gonna bury the lead here, but yes, uh, breathwork can transform your life. It absolutely did mine and for many other people I know as well. Back in 2019, I was named to Silicon Valley's 40 under 40 list. I built a seven-figure business while working less than four hours a day. I didn't have Tim Ferris' four-hour work week, but I had, you know, like a two to four hour workday, which is pretty darn good if you ask anyone, right? Yeah, right. So I did my TED talk on this uh topic, actually, kind of um the through line of my story is like on a subconscious level, meaning that I'm not aware that I'm saying this to myself, but I was writing down these goals, and it's very important to write down your goals and read them daily. But I was I had all these audacious goals, and on a subconscious level, I was saying to myself, when I achieve ABC, I will feel XYZ. So that's what my book, uh Soul Life Balance, is about, what you're reading, what my TED Talk was about, and a lot of things I speak about. But back then in 2019, when I had all these external accomplishments, I crushed my goals, I was crumbling on the inside. I was going through a numbing depression, and that's when something called a breathwork journey first found me. And after I did this deep cathartic release one-on-one with an instructor, it's uh it's kind of gets you into like a trauma response. We can think of like if you've uh you or the listeners have seen those videos like on Discovery Channel where a lion, speaking of lions, are chasing a gazelle, if the gazelle is lucky enough to get away, it shakes and it convulses because it's allowing itself to feel the trauma it just experienced. But as humans, whether it's trauma or just normal everyday emotions, we don't allow ourselves to feel them. So it gets stuck and store in the body. So when I did this breath work journey back in 2019, I literally felt reborn. Like, no joke, I could go into the whole thing, but that changed my whole life. And from there, after that, I moved out of Silicon Valley to the beach of Santa Cruz. I switched my business, got out of a toxic relationship. I got changed my friend group, my my passions, my interests. I did a complete 180, and I am so forever grateful for that. And that's how I came to do what I do now, which I didn't even mention what I do now, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 4:34

We'll get into that. But I think this is such a powerful topic because you know, the one exercise I learned in the midst of my trauma was the butterfly hug, right? Which focuses on taking back control of your nervous system and that control breathing of in through your nose, out through your mouth, and then really understanding that when you harness the breath to your benefit with purposeful intentional actions, that it that everything changes. The whole countenance of your body, the way your brain processes information, that oxygen to the brain, and um, and then focusing where your brain goes, that mental visualization that you're doing at the same time, right, is transformative, is life-changing, right? So uh, Sam, I would love to have you just share with us uh maybe some history and background of where were you? How did you find this idea of breath work? Lead us, lead us into that time in your life.

SPEAKER_01: 5:22

Yeah, it's kind of like Joseph uh Campbell's Hero's Journey archetype model. You know, the 12 steps of any story or movie are based off that. And that's because that's how our lives look. And the basic idea of the 12-step hero's journey cycle is like the meeting of the mentor, right? So I had a friend come into my life who told me about this thing called the breathwork journey. I was getting into TM transcendental meditation and yoga and things like that, but I wouldn't consider myself a deeply like spiritual or even mindful person at the time. I was just like getting into it. And I heard about this breathwork journey and I was like confused. I didn't really get what it was. But when I was at that rock bottom, and I think your listeners can relate to this, when you're at that rock bottom, it's just like, I'll do anything, right? So I just trusted, and I didn't have the vocabulary back then to know what synchronicity is, or what many people would refer to as like a serendipitous moment, but it was definitely being called, even using the word called wasn't in my vocabulary, but it was just like so obvious this was the next step. So I surrendered to that, and I kept hearing the word surrender, like you have to uh uh be able to surrender. And at the time, like for a while after the breathwork journey, when I started to get into mindfulness spirituality more, I would call myself jokingly like a recovering bro. But the reason why I bring that up is because back then in 2019, when this concept of surrender came up, it didn't sit well with me because it made me feel like giving up, it made me feel like quitting, like a white flag. But really, what surrender means is to uh to accept what is without resistance. It's not about quitting, it's not about giving up. If anything, it's more about softening and a giving in.

SPEAKER_00: 7:11

That's really powerful. And I think I think surrender, I love your recovering bro term. I can't say that I'm a recovering bro, but the term surrender means letting go of control. And I think a lot of us have this idea that, you know, well, I'm in control of things that are happening around me. And just today I was teaching uh a cohort on the on the fact is that the only thing you can control is yourself. You can control the things you think about, you can control the way your body responds to things, right? But to surrender to something means that you release the idea or the need for control and you allow whatever's going to happen, happen without restraint, without judgment, without um control or preconceived notion. You surrender to it. And so um, do you remember the moment that you surrendered fully?

SPEAKER_01: 8:00

Yeah, so I'll tell you about it. So, this breath work journey, like it was one-on-one with a facilitator. And basically what we were doing was inhaling and exhaling through the mouth, circular connected breath combined with like they call it toning, some other stuff. But I, you know, what is time in a situation like that when the default mode network of the brain shuts down and you uh totally enter into what's known as like hypo uh transient hypofrontality, which means to temporarily shut down the prefrontal cortex. Like, you don't have a concept of time, but I would imagine it was probably like halfway through, maybe 30 minutes in or something. And all of a sudden, like I came back into my body. And this isn't like any medicine, drugs, or anything else. This is just like your breath, right? Like uh, so I noticed myself just shaking, not shaking, but vibrating like completely from head to toe. And I was in such a panic, I thought I was having a seizure and going to die. Like my cousin has epilepsy and he has experienced a lot of seizures in his life. So I've never actually seen him or anyone have a seizure, but the way my whole body was was vibrating, and I just was in such panic mode, and it kind of now like brings me back to that visual of the gazelle like shaking and convulsing because that's literally what my body was doing. And I heard the instructor's voice, and whatever he said, I mean, this was six years ago, he said something along the lines of like, you know, just breathe, feel whatever he said, and all of a sudden, like it was this complete out-of-body experience where his voice brought me back in and started to, I started to trust myself, I started to trust my breath. But in this whole process, it was a surrender because when the panic alarms went off initially, that was resistance. But when I was able to like come back to like, oh, you prepared for this mentally to surrender. This is the moment where you need to show up for yourself and surrender. So that was that. And then um, from there, just all the the deep uh numbing depression and just sadness and grief and all of that just gone, gone. And then I started to just explore other modalities and go further from there.

SPEAKER_00: 10:18

That's amazing. And I just want to pause and kind of highlight, too, when you when you kind of led us into this, you were in a really good place from a career perspective, right? It's not like you were homeless with no job, no car, you're scrapping for, I mean, right? You were in a good place in life. So I'm curious, can you kind of walk walk me through why do you think that so many people see that picture as, well, once I get there, everything is gonna be in line. Once I have the career, once I have the bank account, once I have the car, once I have the house, the, the, the, uh, the reputation, that I've arrived and everything is gonna be great. Why do you think that you got to that place in life and still had this massive, I would say, hole internally?

SPEAKER_01: 11:04

100%. So true. You know, I believe that Western culture really has us conditioned and programmed to think like we want all these things outside of ourselves, whether it be success, goals, materialism, consumerism. Yes, there's a difference between the two, all the different things where it we get caught up in what I refer to as hustle culture. You know, it's it's just like go, go, go. And it's the the it's the human doing as opposed to the human being. And we lose ourselves in it. We just start to chase and we don't know who we are anymore. So I definitely believe that there's like an archetype of people that get into healing work based off of like chasing success and then experiencing that success only to feel more empty. There are plenty of athletes, whether it's Super Bowl champions that win the ultimate pinnacle of their sport, or entrepreneurs that build amazing businesses and have such success, or playing in a different arena of whatever it that was for you. Like I was in a different arena, right? But there it is an archetype where like chasing that success actually leads to an inner whole. And it's because of the conditioning and programming of society and the focus of the human doing as opposed to knowing your like being with your inner world of your mental and emotional health.

SPEAKER_00: 12:28

So now you've gone through this breath work, you had an incredible transformation. Do you then seek success the same way? Or do you have you completely redefined for yourself what success is and what it means?

SPEAKER_01: 12:39

Oh, that is such a good question. That took me years to figure out, and I'm still figuring it out. You know, uh for about three years, I was very confused from 2019 to 2022 in terms of this question specifically, like what to do next. Um, I was around a lot of people that said like things like they're tired of playing small, they want to play big. And I almost wanted to puke, you know, because I'm like that whole notion of like playing big, like that's what got me here. Like, what are you talking about? Because I they're on a different path, you know, and for me, it was just like, no, it was repulsive, the idea of like, you know, doing more and and all that. So, anyways, I did a yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, and I spoke about this in the TED Talk, by the way. Um, and in that yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, we're in a yoga shala, we were immersed in the jungle, you could see the ocean. And I remember the it was a uh husband and wife. I remember the husband, Dakota, he was teaching us this yogic philosophy of sadna. And sadna is to be in the pursuit of. It's the cliche thing of saying, like, rather than focusing on the destination, like focus the journey. But sadna teaches us how to be in the journey to your daily, like mindful or spiritual practice. So one of the things that Dakota Shea said was to name your ultimate potential is to limit your ultimate potential. And when those words left his mouth, like I had this huge aha moment where it felt like a lightning strike into my uh body in a good way of just like, oh my God, like I've had this all wrong. I've been naming my ultimate potential as like building a seven-figure business, being named to Silicon Valley's 40040 list, uh, writing a best-selling book, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So again, the quote is to name your ultimate potential is to limit your ultimate potential. With that, I create a worksheet that uh helps you to actually be in the journey and focus on like those daily practices for your mental and emotional health. And that's the best thing, you know. For me, it's yes, I have goals and I have some big goals right now that I'm like, you know, back in quote unquote business mode or whatever. But I I believe in the practice of soul life balance, and that's what helps me to be in the journey as opposed to the end destination. And I keep going on and on, but uh I'll pause there.

SPEAKER_00: 15:05

No, I think it's awesome. Uh so really what I want to do is um, because I did listen to your TED talk before you came on today, I just wanted to kind of get an idea. Um, and you say very specifically that breath work has the ability to transform your life. So, what I'd like to ask is for you to um talk us through your six-step breath process so that the audience can really hear this whole breakdown and why this is so transformational.

SPEAKER_01: 15:27

Absolutely. So, if y'all have a pen and paper or maybe uh bust out the note app on your phone, here are the things to write down. Number one, 90-second rule. Now, your subconscious will remember what this is, so all you need to write down is the 90-second rule. But the 90-second rule teaches that our body has a 90-second physiological response when we experience an emotion. So, what that means is if we don't allow ourselves to experience that emotion, which is energy in motion, then that energy isn't allowed to move through the body and it gets stuck and stored in the body. If we're still feeling that way after that 90 seconds, it's because either consciously or subconsciously, we've numbed, avoided, or distracted from that feeling, which starts a new mental thought loop and gives a new reaction in the body. So 90 second rule. Number one thing to write down live by that, understand it, what to do with that, all of that. Number two, emotions are energy and motion. You know, that is a fluffy statement to some, but stacking that with the 90-second rule, it's like, oh, but that's actually backed by science. So understand that emotions are energy and motion. That'll help you remember what the 90-second rule teaches. And the third thing are the three themes of the breath process. Uh, because six steps, you know, breath is uh six characters, six letters that form a word. Six can be hard to remember. So there are three simple themes breathe, feel, and think intentionally. So number one, 90 second rule. Number two, emotions are energy in motion. Number three, what do you do in those 90 seconds? Breathe, feel, think intentionally. Now, real quick, I'll give the six steps. Um, I do keyno presentations and workshops and all that on the six steps. I wrote a book on it. So it's a lot to cover, but the first thing is breathe to slow down. That's step number one, the be in the breath process. Okay, I understand that I'm now in a triggered state. Now that I built awareness around this, I can respond versus react. That's an opportunity to celebrate that presence as opposed to shame and guilting, because a lot of times when you first start this, you're like, oh, I'm doing it again, which it means shame and guilt. So instead, you alchemize that into celebring, hey, I just built moment-to-moment awareness. Cool. What am I going to do? I'm going to breathe to slow down. We get into different breath work techniques, whatever, but just deep breaths essentially. R in the breath process, relax to feel. This is all about softening and relaxing. As you continue to breathe, just saying to yourself, relax, relax. And that sends a signal to your nervous system that you're safe. Because if we're going to do this quote unquote shadow work, which means to make the unconscious conscious, then we need to feel safe entering into this. Number three is energy to reveal. If emotions are energy in motion and you're feeling some heightened emotions, then what are these energies revealing to you? Simple question is what's the lesson? What's the story? Or, like I said, what's this energy revealing to me? A is accept to surrender. So this is all about surrender. It's all about acceptance. Because a lot of times when that thing starts to get shown to you, you're like, oh no, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that, right? Um, so a good mantra for this is I'm here for this, you know, just saying, I'm here for this, continuing to breathe. And then T transform into empowering beliefs. This is where we earn the right to utilize the power of positive thinking after doing the shadow work. So we transform what we were feeling into a positive I am statement. And finally, the H habits to integrate as a result of what came up, what actions, habits, or behaviors as I can I take, so I don't have to keep coming back to this damn breath process because the truth is I don't want you to keep coming back to it because if you are, it's not working for you. Because we have to integrate and take action. So it's really getting curious. So that's the six steps, what you can do in those two minutes, like super quick.

SPEAKER_00: 19:26

I mean, that's amazing. And my brain's spinning, like I should be taking notes. I'll listen to the recording after. Um, but so you you um you came through this entire process and now you find yourself at a really, I would say, grounded place, right? So is this something that you're sharing on a regular basis? Do you strike strike up conversations with strangers about breath work? How do you find that your transformational journey through breath work is now influencing and impacting the world around you?

SPEAKER_01: 19:55

Yeah, I yeah, my best friend said something the other day about like, uh I don't know, I said something about the 92nd rule, and he's like, what? And I was like, what are you talking about? How do you not know this? Like, I'm I'm this is like the core.

SPEAKER_00: 20:07

Don't you listen to anything I say?

SPEAKER_01: 20:08

Yeah, I'm like, this is the core of what I talk about. But um, it's funny because we're like brothers. And um, before I uh got into this work, he and I had a podcast together. We had a food show on YouTube and all this, and I went down like this spiritual, really deep path, and he's like, No, no, I'm good, right? So we're still uh super close and like our interests are vastly different, so that's just kind of funny. And I think sometimes like friends and family, it's just different, right? But, anyways, um, yeah, the 90 second rule is really the core of it, and this gets into the conversation of compartmentalization. And I think a lot of times when people think about breath work, they think that it's just about like calming your nervous system so that you don't have to feel that triggered state. And I'm here saying that's not all. That's that's just a small part of it. Like how I said in the breath process, we do that to start so you feel safe. Part of the breath process when we really go into it is circular connected breathing, which helps to get you into those states, like the flow states and shut down the prefrontal cortex so that you can get a uh simulated state of fight or flight, or what's better known as like an alert state. And the reason why we do that is so that things can actually come up to the surface, because otherwise we're just using breath work like a band-aid approach, and it's really not doing anything, it's just compartmentalizing more with putting things up in a metaphorical box in the back corner of our mind that we're never going open again and just carrying more emotional baggage. So, to answer your question, like when I'm speaking with people about these topics and whatnot, like I love to talk about the 90 second rule and I love to talk about like more activating breath work versus just the common techniques that most people are like, Oh, yeah, I've done breath work and it's it's calming, it's grounding. I'm like Yeah, that's that's part of it, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 22:03

Well, and and you're obviously, I mean, as we as we kind of talked through at the beginning before we started recording, you're a different person, right? And you talk about resistance. I think resistance is pretty normal for most of us. I've had people use the term woo-woo when I say, oh yeah, I'm uh people kind of call me an EQ guru and oh yeah, that's just a woo-woo, we're gonna sit around and hold hands and sing kubaya. And I was like, no, it's so much more like that, right? So I'm sure you get people that are resistant to really embracing kind of this path that you've chosen and these things that have transformed you. So I'm curious if you were to go back now to yourself to identify what really occurred from a growth transformational perspective when you look at who you were to look to look at who you are today, and someone would say, Well, you're just a it's just a bunch of woo-woo. It's not really that big of a deal. How would you quantify the change that has occurred within you, Sam?

SPEAKER_01: 22:52

Yeah, I lean on the science more than anything. I lean on the science, it makes it accessible to more people. I just gave a keynote presentation last week in Texas. I live in California, and this person came up to me afterwards and said, Thank you so much. I've heard about breath work before. I've tried breath work, but it never resonated. But because you explain the science so much, it really helped me. And now I want to actually give it another shot. And the for me, it's like, how can I make what I'm teaching and what I'm talking about as accessible as possible? Because even if I love all the woo and all the things, you know, like just talking about that stuff. A lot of times we're talking to people that already are into that, they already know about it, or maybe it's people earlier on the path of uh, and that's great too. But I consider myself more of like a bridge, you know, helping people that are just not quite there. So uh I want to make it as accessible as possible, and that's really leaning on the science because a lot of times when people hear the science, they're like, oh, that makes sense now. Okay, cool, you know. Um, so yeah, I mean, sometimes I let some woo stuff uh slip out. I have a podcast called Soulseeker, it's very much a woo title, and we have uh that's my playground. I talk about like all kinds of fun spiritual stuff and esoteric things. Uh, that's very different than what I bring into companies and organizations and how I present myself outside of the podcast, because outside of the podcast, I want to be as accessible as possible so it doesn't turn people off.

SPEAKER_00: 24:27

Can you talk me through some fears that you had leading up to like go back to your professional self that was successful, right? And before you heard about breath work, because I think a lot of people sit in their own personal fears of like or their own insecurities, and they don't really have an idea of how to go about pulling themselves out. It takes something radical, like a personal catalyst for you. It took something radical to get you there. So, what were some fears that you were entertaining as an individual gentleman who's successful that led you to say, there's there's got to be more to this story. There has to be more here for me to get into because this can't just be what life is.

SPEAKER_01: 25:08

Yeah, I mean, this goes back to the beginning with that numbing depression, just like, hey, I'll do anything. And after that, um, I remember just going going to yoga classes, like maybe once a day, sometimes twice a day. And just especially during the lockdowns, um, I leaned on yoga out here in Santa Cruz. Um, we had a lot of outdoor yoga classes, which was cool. And I guess it was before the lockdowns, now that I think about it. It was uh definitely like late 2019. And I just thought of it as like um my uh I was creating my own retreat, you know. I I had like financial freedom at the time, so I could go to uh multiple yoga classes in a day. And one of the big moments for me was going to a full moon event at a yoga studio. And at the time I was like, I don't even know what a full moon ceremony means, but there was something in me that was just like you gotta show up. And I had all kinds of like limiting beliefs, being like a man, being a guy, like going to yoga, going to a full moon thing, and doing all this stuff. And I just leaned in, I leaned in more. And after I did my yoga teacher training, I started teaching yoga. I started leading a men's group. Um, and now I do keynote speeches. And what's funny is speaking about spears, I had more fears teaching yoga at my home studio with so many instructors than I do getting on stage in front of a thousand people. It was like teaching yoga uh really gave me the training grounds to lean into those fears of presenting myself in this new light, you know?

SPEAKER_00: 26:45

So interesting. That's really interesting. And and because you were talking about business, right? You've spoken about soul life balance as a new way to approach success. So, how has your spiritual journey reshaped your view of leadership and business?

SPEAKER_01: 26:58

Yeah, so you want me to speak on soul life balance?

SPEAKER_00: 27:01

Uh well, how that ties into how you look at your own version of leadership or others' version of leadership and and how you do business today.

SPEAKER_01: 27:09

Yeah, absolutely. Uh, you know, I wrote the book in 2022 and it's called Soul Life Balance. Um I do get some pushback because of the word soul for sure. And what I say is like, hey, when I say the word soul, uh, what I'm referring to is your inner world, your outer. So let's go back to the archetype of the yin-yang or yang. Most people know that symbol. The light side of the symbol represents the yang, and that's the outer world of obligations and responsibilities. Then the dark side is the inner world of mental and emotional health. So that's kind of how I address that. So it's like, hey, I'm not talking about woo stuff, spiritual or religious stuff, anything of that. I'm just saying, like, there's an outer world. This is what's representing that symbol everyone likes, you know, of obligations and responsibilities. And there's an inner world of your mental, and what's so important, which I love your work, is emotional health. It's not just mental health, it's emotional health. So I typically do that, and I'm like, all right, now let's look at the phrase work-life balance. Well, work and life both require those outer world energies of responsibilities and obligations. So it's no wonder that we're facing this mental health crisis because there's no emphasis of the inner world. So that's the reframe of soul life balance to, or yes, uh, work-life balance to soul life balance. And then the other thing is like we think of work-life balance as like this end destination, whether we realize it or not, like the way we refer to it, it's kind of like, oh, one day I will get there to this state of work-life balance.

SPEAKER_00: 28:46

You have arrived.

SPEAKER_01: 28:48

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and um, soul life balance is a practice, it goes back to the idea of sadna, and also another uh phrase I love is practice makes practice, and that is so freeing as opposed to practice makes perfect. So when we're on this journey, it's like embodying being in the uh in the journey and like practice makes practice. When I get off track, rather than shaming guilting, I'll come back to awareness, celebrate that awareness. Now I can have the opportunity to get back on track. Now I was gonna say earlier, a lot of like soul life balance, that's the term, but I think of it these days a little bit more of like soul life mindset, because really what it is for me is I see everything from like a yin-yang mindset. Um, and part of that's the inner uh world and part of that's the outer world. So, like when I'm making decisions, right? Like, okay, using the analytical mind, logic mind, like, okay, this makes sense. Now, intuitively, how do I actually feel about this thing? You know, and looking at from both lenses.

SPEAKER_00: 29:52

I'm gonna play the devil's advocate here, Sam, because I know a lot of people that even in my inner circle, they're like, okay, I'll listen to your podcast, but I mean, it's, you know, it's a lot of work. What do you what do you what would you say to someone who's listening to going, oh my gosh, that's so much work. Can't you just give me a solution and make it all better and I can continue on with my life without having to set aside time to do yoga or breath work? Like, why is this something that I should invest my time in? Because it sounds like a lot to pick up.

SPEAKER_01: 30:20

Yeah, all I'm saying is like, hey, when you experience an emotion that you don't want to feel, allow yourself to feel it. And you can do that by breathe, feel, and think intentionally. That's it. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00: 30:30

I love that. And and from my perspective, right, I always love to drop some neuroscience. I'm gonna remind everyone that your emotions are a result of your thoughts. Your brain has a thought that is a chemical, energetic, electrical nerve impulse that maybe says, I'm not good enough, right? That thought goes to your nervous system and a nerve goes, oh, we're not good enough. Oh, we're not good enough. And it tells the rest of your nervous system, we are not good enough. And your nerves produce chemicals in your body that are what we call emotions. So to this point of breath work and being intentional in your thoughts and your actions, when you realize that your brain is producing the emotions that you feel in your body. And Sam, to your point, emotions are energy. Negative emotions produce negative energy that doesn't feel good. That's why we feel down and we eat too much and we sit in our couch and we don't go out and we do things we shouldn't do because that negative toxic energy is sitting in our bodies, vice versa, with positive emotions, right? So, so as we talk and we get into this whole concept of being intentional with your life, being intentional with breath work, the flip side to this is part of this is your brain. Part of this is your brain wants to believe negative things. That's part of the human condition. Two, when someone says something negative to you or you have a negative thought, like I'm not good enough, the first thing that your brain does is it looks for evidence that that is true. It's gonna go through your past, it's gonna go through conversations, it's gonna go through failures and mistakes to reinforce that you are not good enough. That's the first thing that it does because it's habitual and because it's used to that process happening without there being any kind of intention or purpose to stopping that process. So, what I love about this whole concept of breath work is it reinforces all of the neuroscience evidence that says we are what we think. And if you think that you can go through life just living and accepting your thoughts as is and responding to your thoughts the way that we all typically do, without understanding that there's a level of accountability here, that if you're a certain age and you're still depressed and you're still anxious and you're still um insecure and you can't figure out what's wrong, it's because you've allowed your brain to sit in that belief and run forward without being intentional or purposeful in taking accountability for the thoughts that you have. The other thing I want to highlight here that I just taught in a class is that your thoughts are not always your own. Look, you guys, we are all victims of negative interactions with others. I was operating on a specific belief that my parent pre-programmed into me that I wasn't good enough. And it was a subconscious message that was underlying and underwriting everything that I did and I didn't even know was there. And so whether you call it the inner critic or imposter syndrome or my husband who has a name for his inner critic, right? That is feeding you garbage and lies and things that you didn't even come up with on your own becomes your internal narrative. And until you call that thing, that person, that thought, to hold it accountable and hold it captive and ask, is it true? My questions that I say when I have a negative thought is, is it true? What do I know to be true about me? What do I know to be true about the circumstances or the person that I'm interacting with? And does my thought match in truth what's happening? The second question I ask is, is it helpful? Is it helpful to be sitting in a negative thought when it's probably a really critical point? You're about to present something, you're about to have a critical conversation, you're about to go do a presentation. Is it helpful to have all this negative toxic stuff rolling around in your brain that are messing with your chemical uh makeup of your body? And three, is it uplifting? If you are not being kind to you, you can't expect anyone else to offer that kindness to you. We have to first start by being kind to ourselves and stop allowing the negativity and all of life's unpredictability and chaos skew our view of who we really are. And all of that feeds into Sam exactly what you've done, which is you stepped out of yourself and said, there has to be more. There has to be another way for me to bring myself up and out of this place of despair, depression, fear, all of these negative, toxic emotions and take control from myself. And by finding something like breath work that is so transformative, and I've just begun my journey through breath work. I've started it, and you were a huge part of that after I you said you'd come on the podcast. I was like, I gotta check this guy out and I'm reading your book and I listen to your TED Talk. I'm like, all right, fine, we'll do it, Sam. I'm listening, right? It is transformative. And that's not to say that what you're doing now isn't working, because not every solution works for every single person, but the power of your breath, the power of personal accountability, the power of being intentional and purposeful with your life, because you only get one, is the message here, right? And so, Sam, so here's my my next question, right? As we wrap in your TED talk, Embody the Change, you emphasize softening and listening to life's signals. So what inspired this message for you? And what do you hope for people, especially listeners today, to take away from that?

SPEAKER_01: 35:55

Yeah, you know, it goes back. Oh, I don't think I made this point earlier, but um I was talking about like the human doing. Like most of us are human doings, right? So we don't know like we're human beings, but we've lost that. So when we start to slow down, we can actually speed up. You know, that's not a new idea, but it's starting to catch on, which is so inspiring. So just finding ways to slow down. And here's one simple takeaway that you can take with you as uh you move forward with your day. I call this the ninja breath. And the cyclic si it was made popular by Dr. Andrew Huberman on his podcast, the Huberman Lab, and his uh lab out there at Stanford did a study to find out what's going to be the most effective either breath work tool or meditation tool to alleviate stress and anxiety, not only in the moment, but to have lasting impacts throughout the day. And what they found is the cyclic psi is more impactful than anything else. And I always like to say the great the best part about it is it's the easiest form of breath work out there because all you do is a big inhale through the nose all the way up, and then you sip in a bit more air at the top, and then exhale through your mouth. That's it. You just keep doing that repeatedly. So the ninja breath is a subtle ninja version of that, like you don't want to be noticed, it's very subtle. So imagine you're in a conversation with someone else. Maybe it's a coworker, maybe it's a boss, colleague, or even a loved one. And there's two things that are happening in this uh scenario. Either one, you're just thinking about what you're gonna say next, which is very common, or two, you're getting triggered. That's that you are getting into a heightened state. Now, for for you, Janelle, and for all of you listening, over the next few minutes as I speak here, I just invite you to as subtle as you can through your nose, inhale all the way up, sip in a bit more air at the top, and then through your nose as opposed to your mouth, exhale. And imagine you're in conversation with that other person. It would be weird if you did big inhale up and then another big inhale at the top, and then you side it out. But if you do it very subtle, like you actually are doing this now, and you imagine you're in that conversation with someone else, just subtly through your nose, inhale all the way up, then sipping in a bit more air, then through the nose, exhale, and just continuing to do that. As you do that, you begin uh you begin to notice that all those circling thoughts, they just start to fade away. All those emotions putting you in that heightened state, well, now you're starting to get calm. And the best part is the more you practice this, you're retraining your nervous system to do this automatically because the breath is the only bodily function that we can do consciously and unconsciously. And most of the time we're holding our breath, we have choppy breath, and that contributes to fight or flight. But now you're training your nervous system to breathe in a way so that you have clear, calm, steady energy.

SPEAKER_00: 38:59

That's amazing. And I'm I'm doing it as you're talking, right? And again, it's it's like being conscious, it's being purposeful, it's being intentful. And I think that's the one thing that I used to think, man, it just feels like I'm having to put in all of this effort and energy to just being and living all the time. And that's exhausting. But the truth is exact opposite that when you start to practice these things in a holistic manner and you look at yourself as not just, I got to get through my day and I've got this stressed-out meeting tomorrow, and I got to sit down with this person, and I know it's gonna be a difficult conversation, and we allow life's responsibilities and commitments to kind of take our thoughts away, but to be purposeful and intentful in everything that we do and conscious of our thoughts and conscious of our breath, that it actually makes life easier. It makes life more bearable. It means that when those difficult emotions come up, because I'm in a good place mentally and physically, because I'm managing my breath, I'm I'm capturing my thoughts as they come and holding them to a standard and a level of accountability that means I'm not just gonna let anything run through my brain or let anyone say something that might trigger me, right? I'm being accountable. It just means that my day-to-day is no longer on edge of, well, someone might say something, or I don't know how today's gonna go, but man, I'm on edge today, right? It's a totally different mental way of being, a mindfulness, like you say, that kind of becomes the way that you live right now. And I and I've noticed that in transition for myself that I used to go through my day and I was react, I was reacting to things. I was just taking life as it came. And whatever happens, well, you're gonna get the Janelle that reacts to whatever is said or done because you just don't know. Versus now I come into every day very intentional of this is who I am and how I'm gonna show up today. This is the positive talk I'm gonna give myself in the morning. This is the breath work that I do to start my day, the 15 minutes of quiet time meditation that I do. And I notice that just those soft shifts change the trajectory of how my days go. And and granted, that doesn't mean your days are gonna go great and nothing bad is gonna happen or no one's gonna trigger you. But what it means is that you're telling your subconscious it's no longer in control. And that's a huge shift mentally because our subconsciouses are damaged, our subconsciouses have been hurt and we go into protective mode and the ego steps in and right, we get angry and defensive. I think most of us have that. And I didn't want to be a victim to my subconscious anymore. I wanted to reprogram my subconscious to be kind always, and I still make mistakes, to to empathize with other people and to be quick to offer supportive and helpful thing. My pastor is an ex-military marine, and he has this saying, and I think it kind of goes with what you say, but it's slow, uh fast or sorry, slow is smooth, smooth is fast, right? That what you kind of said, which is slow yourself down to be purposeful and intentional. I think those are two words for today, in the way you show up for yourself. Because when you slow it down to be purposeful and intentional, all of a sudden you become aware of the things you're thinking, of the people you're interacting with, of the way you're breathing, of the things that you're eating, of the motions that you take that may not necessarily be helpful healthy or helpful. And all of a sudden you're viewing yourself in a completely different perspective. Um, I feel like I could talk to you forever, Sam, but I know we have limited time. So if there's someone listening to this that they're like, man, that sounds really amazing, Sam, but how do I even go about that? Let's let's move into a proactive delivery now. Where can someone work on breath work the way that you talk about?

SPEAKER_01: 42:47

100%. So definitely take that ninja breath and apply it over the next couple of hours of your day and see how that goes. And the best time to create a practice of breath work is in the morning. As soon as you wake up in the morning, just take three deep breaths. I'm not talking about doing five minutes of breath work or even 20 minutes of breath work. Just take three deep breaths before you reach your phone and just check in with yourself. That's a great tool for you to just integrate. Very simple. And if you want to go deeper with me, I have a free community called the Breath Club. And in the breath club, every single week I lead live breath work sessions via Zoom, and we have an online community as well. Really, what the Breath Club is about, it's teaching people how to feel again and how what we call hold space for themselves so that they can hold space for others. Because I believe a good leader should be a metaphorical lighthouse for others, meaning they can show the way for others because they're embodying it. So, what's really beautiful about our community is it's like mind visionary leaders that all want to better themselves. And I think of it as like a training ground where like everyone is there to grow and support. And addition, in addition to that, like if I'm going through something. And I need to schedule a session with say like my therapist or something like that. By the time I schedule that session, then I'm no longer feeling that way because I have the tools and I know how to get out of it, right? And even if you don't have the tools, you're gonna have to figure something out. So hopefully you're not feeling that way anymore. So by the time you get there, it's like, well, I was feeling, but now I'm feeling this, right? So that's why I love the online community where everyone's learning how to hold space for themselves and others because you get that real time support. So that's the Breath Club, completely free, easy to join.

SPEAKER_00: 44:34

Love it. And um, how can people connect with you and and tell us a little bit about your your works that you published and what you're working on now?

SPEAKER_01: 44:42

Yeah, absolutely. So I'm doing this social media thing right now. I'm on week three or four. I don't know how long this is gonna last, but I'm doing three videos a day on all channels from TikTok to Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. So I'm getting a lot of comments and messages that people look forward to these videos because they're just like a each one's about a minute, a minute and a half long. So you can find the link uh to connect with me on social media through my website at samkert.com, Sam Kbert K-A-B-E-R-T. And for the breath club, it's samkbert.com slash club. I've written six books. I'm not working on a book now or anything like that. I'm revisiting my keynote presentation and like I said before, just making it more accessible. I'm always refining and just taking feedback and being like, okay, what what can I cut? You know, kind of like trim the fat, if you will, and what can I add to make it be more accessible for more people? So I believe in you know, one percent better every single day.

SPEAKER_00: 45:43

I love that. Um, well, any last pieces of advice from you, Sam, before we wrap today?

SPEAKER_01: 45:50

Yeah, I think the last thing, this might be a little bit more in the category of woo, but I think we're here for that, right?

SPEAKER_00: 45:55

Bring on the woo.

SPEAKER_01: 45:56

Yeah. I mean, I don't think it is, but maybe some people would, you know, like when we get into this work of personal development 2.0, you know, as opposed to old school personal development, a lot of people uh come across the phrase, things don't happen to you, they happen for you. And that was helpful for me to a time up until I heard things don't happen to you, they happen with you. And here's why. Many of you listening have probably already heard things happen for you as opposed to to you, but it's still like, hey, there's this outside force there that either it's like I'm in victim mentality and this outside force is like happening to me, or I what I think is empowering because it's the outside force is making things happen for me. But what's truly empowering because it's about accountability and taking responsibility is things are happening with you because you are a co-creator of your reality. We we touched, you touched on the subconscious mind. We didn't touch on it a lot. I'm also a master practitioner of NLP, MER, and hypnosis, which is all about the subconscious mind. And there's so much out there that how our subconscious mind actually creates our reality. So if we're sitting and waiting, being like, hey, there's this outside force, because that's what we're saying to ourselves on a subconscious mind. We're not consciously saying that, but we're like, oh, things are happening for me. It's kind of like wishing and waiting. Whereas things are happening with me, it's like, okay, I need to take responsibility, I need to take action, and I need to take accountability for my actions.

SPEAKER_00: 47:29

Yeah, I I mean that's amazing. Um, and and it's a gut, it's a good reminder too, right? When when we think about um, there's a bigger question in life than what's my life gonna be like today, what's my life gonna be like tomorrow, who's involved, what happens to me? We're not victims of what life throws at us. We have choices at all times. Um, and so you know, when I tell my listeners all the time that this is a choice, that every single moment of every single day, you are given a choice to either go along with what life hands you haphazardly, or to be, my words, purposeful and intentional in your thoughts and your actions, because you can't blame your life on anyone else. The only thing you have control over in this life is yours. And same, to your point, there are there are so many outlets and opportunities for you to take accountability for your thoughts, for your actions, and for all of the areas of your life to choose to live better. And so if you want to live better, if you're seeking to live better, if you know there's more in life that you just haven't tapped into, I'm gonna encourage you to go check out Sam, become a super fan like I've been, uh, and just find out how something as very simple as your breath can truly transform your life. So, Sam, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for being with me here, uh, being with me here today. And I'm so grateful.

SPEAKER_01: 48:47

Yeah, I'm humbled. Thank you for having me. This has been a great conversation. You're a great host, by the way, too. I just love the work that you're putting out there in the world. Like obviously, that's what I'm all about. And let's keep it going. And thank you for everyone taking the time out of your day. Listen.

SPEAKER_00: 49:03

All right. Well, as I wrap today's episode, I'm going to encourage you to be inspired to feel deeply because your feelings matter, but your feelings are not always your own. And so when you feel deeply and you can ask why you're feeling those things, that all of a sudden you can be aware and become fearless, to live fearlessly, because as I say on every episode now, the tattoo that my stepson has says, everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear. And so if you've listened to Sam talk today and there's a little bit of fear or trepidation on, I'm not really sure I'm down with that, it sounds a little bit woo-woo, or I don't know how breath work's gonna work for me, do it. Get past the other side of fear to do something for yourself and to live always authentically. There's no one else on this planet like you. So don't allow the negativity or the unpredictability of life remove the wonderfulness that is you to remain authentic and to keep leaning into yours into those feelings because, as I say always, transformation starts from within. Nobody's gonna do the work but you. So get up and do the work. I'm gonna see you all next Friday.