If You Panic When the Scale Goes Up… This Episode Is for You | Stop Outsourcing Your Confidence

If your mood tanks when your bank account dips… or your confidence crumbles after a bloated day… this episode is for you. 💥

In this powerful episode of The Muscles & Mindset Revolution, I’m unpacking why so many ambitious women ride an emotional rollercoaster based on their circumstances — and how to shift into unshakeable inner stability instead.

You’ll hear why we freak out about money, our bodies, our relationships — and how that same anxious attachment shows up everywhere. I’m sharing personal stories, client examples, and the exact mindset shifts that help my clients go from spiralling to self-trust.

We’re covering:

✨ The real reason you panic when the scale or bank balance changes

✨ Why anxious attachment to outcomes keeps you stuck

✨ How to feel safe, strong, and grounded no matter what’s happening around you

✨ What it actually means to stop outsourcing your confidence — and start owning it

This isn’t just a mindset pep talk — it’s a permission slip to finally stop chasing perfection and start living from a place of peace, power, and presence.

💙 Loved this episode? DM me on Instagram @annejonesfit and tell me what landed.

💪 Ready for lasting change? Learn more about my Muscles & Mindset coaching at https://musclesandmindset.ca/

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Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Muscles and Mindset Revolution, the podcast for ambitious women who want to build strength, feel confident af, and lose fat for good, without counting calories or bs. Quick fixes. Jones, certified life coach, personal trainer and mindset expert, and after 15 plus years in the fitness industry, I know the real key to lasting change isn't just what you do, it's how you think. If you're ready to shift your mindset, build a lifestyle you love and feel confident af you are in the right place. Let's dive in. All right, y'all, let me paint a picture for you. You wake up. And you check your bank account online, it's higher than expected. You feel amazing. You're like, I'm so ballin' I got so much money. You're already dreaming of your next vacation or splurging on a new fall jacket. I've done this. Okay? And after coaching hundreds of ambitious women over the past 15 years, I have seen this exact pattern play out again and again. We think we're being strategic, we think we're being disciplined, but more often than not, we're just reacting from fear, from anxiety, from this deeper belief that if the number changes, we're not okay, or if the number changes, we will be okay. But then a week later, you pay all your bills and you check your account again, and it's dipped. There was an unexpected expense, an unexpected bill, a tight month. Suddenly you are spiraling, right? Oh my gosh, I need to go on a, we call them an austerity program, a spending freeze. What if I never make enough money again? What if I never have enough money? What if I can't do anything? I shouldn't have bought that thing. I need to fix this. Does this sound familiar? I say this with so much love, and I only know this because I've done it and I've seen clients do it, and it's not just with money. I'm gonna give you other parallel and tie this back to your health and fitness journey. But if this sounds familiar, if you are the type of person who wigs out when your bank account balance drops or you go on a spending spree because you're feeling flesh, you're probably also the kind of person who reacts this way.: When your body changes, you're probably also the kind of person who, if you weigh yourself and it's down, you feel on top of the world. If your weight is down, maybe you feel like, oh, I've earned this. I can Eat this thing, or maybe not, but on a day that you feel bloated or puffy or the scale has gone up a little bit, you spiral, you panic, you restrict, you start Googling a detox or a diet or asking about GLP 1s, what you should be doing again. Yeah. The reason I know this is because I've seen these patterns in myself and in clients previously. And after coaching hundreds of ambitious women over the past 15 years, I have seen this exact pattern play out again and again. We think we're being strategic, we think we're being disciplined, but more often than not, we're just reacting from fear, from anxiety, from this deeper belief that if the number changes we will be okay. We are anxiously attached to the outcome, and it's not just money. It's not just your body. You'll notice now if this is a pattern for you that it shows up everywhere. Your kid is having a bad day, you feel like a bad mom. This must be something you didn't teach them, or because you are not spending enough time with them. When you go a few weeks without having sex with your partner, you spiral. I must be gross. They're not attracted to me. I have to do something to fix this. When your body looks or feels different for a day or two, you make it mean something about your worth and you go looking for a way to fix it. So can you see? Now, if you do this in more than one area of life, it's probably not that area of life and it's probably not you. It's probably just the way that you're thinking about and approaching it. Because here's the thing, when you attach your emotions to external circumstances, a circumstance is a thing that happens. Which we usually cannot control, right? And if we are tying our emotions and our okayness to circumstances, we will always be at the mercy of things we can't control. It can always be taken away from you if you're only, okay. If your relationship is perfect, your parenting is perfect, your body is perfect, you have a certain amount of money. Your okayness can always be taken away from you. You'll ping pong between hyper control and emotional chaos. For example, my pants feel tight. I'm disgusting. I need to start over, or I need to do more. He didn't text me back right away. He must be pulling away. He's distancing. Something is happening, or I gained five pounds. I need to fix this immediately. I need to eat less, do more. Something to fix this immediately. If the scale or your bank account has the power to ruin your day, you are giving your power away. And I didn't use to understand what that meant until I learned that I was responsible for my emotions, my feelings, and my thoughts. So let's reframe this. What if all of this is just data, the market dips? It always does. Your bank account fluctuates. It always does. Your body changes. It's supposed to. Your kid has a hard day, your kid has a good day. That's being human. And what if none of that means anything about you? What if you could feel calm, confident, and secure regardless of the number on the scale, regardless of fighting with your best friend, regardless of the size of your savings account? That is when everything changes. I literally just had a conversation with a client about this this morning. I'm getting on a coaching call with her next week, and she was reminding me of this time last year she had an interpersonal conflict with a close friend and it completely derailed her. She was losing sleep. She couldn't think about anything else. She was totally panicking. Which I can relate to. I've been in that level of anxiety I have, and that's how I, that's how I had to learn how to get out of it. I was talking to her today. We were talking about our upcoming call and she was saying, I don't know if you remember this thing that happened last year. And I was like, of course. I remember. And then she explained that a similar interpersonal thing happened this past weekend. And she was like, you know, they blew up. And I blew up and he cried and I cried and then I left. And like I was fine. I was unfazed. Because circumstances can happen, but she knows how to manage her stress. Now. Her capacity and resilience are greater, and she doesn't take that with her making it mean anything about her. She has that skill. I just wanna use that as an example. That is possible. It's possible for it to feel easy. That is the number one thing that I love to hear my clients say, which is the most transformative, is like, oh, I get it now. And the best part is it's a skill. It's not a personality trait. It's something we can learn and I can teach you, you can learn. Like it feels easy. Food feels easy. Fitness feels easy. Relationships feel easier. That's when everything changes because the pattern that keeps you stuck is when you're constantly reacting to every little shift, a shift in your body, a shift in your finances, a shift in your relationship, a shift in your career, a shift in your family. That's how we stay stuck in hustle mode. We obsess over fixing the circumstance. More cardio, less food, more control, more money work, more, more clients. But what we're actually looking for is more safety, more self-trust, more capacity to ride the wave without making it mean that we have failed or there is something wrong with us. This is something that I've taught since the very first episode of this podcast and long before. It's not your circumstance that creates the result. No, it is not your body or the bikini or your weight that makes you feel confident. It is your thoughts about the circumstance. It is the thoughts about yourself. your body is not the problem. Your money is not the problem. Your relationship with money might be the problem that keeps bringing this up for you. Your relationship with your body might be the problem that keeps bringing this up for you. Your partner, your kid, your schedule time. None of it is the problem. The problem is when you let those things dictate your identity, your worth, and how you show up. cause you get to decide if it's a problem, really. Like what is. What is a problem. What is a problem? This is what stability looks like. True stability does not come from having a certain number in your bank account or a certain number on the scale. It comes from knowing I can handle it. This is one of the most powerful things that I learned, and I still practice in letting go of perfectionism, in letting go of control because we have no control. What a joke. To think that we can control anything in the universe. The peace comes from knowing I can handle it, I can handle it. That might not go how I want and I can handle it. I can live with it because I trust myself. That is emotional regulation. That is nervous system work. That is identity work. The woman who feels the way you wanna feel so you won't feel confident? How does the confident abundant version of you speak about herself and think about herself? It's about being able to factually look at yourself and being like, oh man, I'm a little bloated today. Cool. I'm still gonna work out. Yeah, my finances are tight right now. That doesn't mean that I can't trust myself. That does not mean they're coming back up. I've been through this before and I've dealt with Yeah. I'm feeling a little off and I'm still me. I know how to get through this. I've done this before. I trust myself. So if you feel like you are ping ponging with. Your body, your diet, your workout routine. If you constantly need a result to feel okay about yourself and watch yourself doing this too, especially because we have so much access to data and technology. Now, again, I only know this'cause I've done this myself. If you go looking to an app to tell you if you're okay, like you go, you look at your sleep app, how was my sleep You, your workouts, your step count, your bank account, your heart rate, all the apps, all the tracking that we have, if you constantly need that result to feel okay about yourself, you're gonna be chasing it forever. If you find yourself spiraling, the second something feels off, that is the exact moment to stop outsourcing your safety. You don't need another diet. You might need some nutrition help, but you don't need another diet for you to be okay. You don't need more control for you to be okay. You need to anchor in who you are regardless of what's happening around you. the circumstances are happening for you to learn this lesson. They're not happening to you. I, again, I want you to know so much love. I only know this because I've been through this. I've done this work, and that is why I feel so passionately about sharing it. This is the work that we do inside muscles and mindset every single day. And not just workouts and food coaching and meal plans, but the mindset and nervous system work that makes this stick that I know works that my clients know works. Okay. And let me tell you, when a woman. Becomes safe in her body. Her power is untouchable. Her potential is untouchable. Her confidence is unshakeable. So let this be your simple reminder that circumstances are going to change. I want you to start to notice how you react to them. The weather changes. Hormones change. We aging, children getting older, bank balance changing, relationships evolving. How are you responding and reacting? Because you get to decide how you respond. You get to decide who you are regardless. Are you going to continue to be the type of person who keeps chasing an outcome? Who's only okay when the circumstances are perfect because that is truly never. If you begin to lead with how you want to feel, confident, secure, abundant, strong, grounded, wealthy, hot, whatever it is, the results take care of themselves because when you lead with that feeling, you act differently and then you create your result. So let me leave you with this. When you stop outsourcing your safety and start leading with how you want to feel, everything shifts. You build consistency, you build strength, you build trust in yourself, and you become the woman who trusts herself no matter what. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. So I would love for you to DM me on Instagram at@annejonesfit. Tell me if this hit at all for you. If you can relate to it, I would love to hear. And if you are loving the podcast, welcome back. It means so much when you leave a five star review. I know it seems silly and takes a minute, but it helps the show to get seen, to get out there and so that I can help people, absolutely for free. thank you so much for being here. Have a wonderful week, and I will see you next week.