Owning Your Power (Even When Others Don’t Understand It)

Have you ever had a comment land so deeply it knocked the wind out of you? Recently Michelle was accused of being inauthentic and only asking her community to show up for her. In the past, a message like that would have sent her spiraling — apologizing, shrinking, defending. 

This time she noticed the body’s reaction, paused, reflected, and chose curiosity over collapse. In this episode Michelle unpacks that experience and explains how trauma-sensitive yoga, mindful embodiment, and small grounded practices can rebuild self-trust so other people’s judgments lose their power.

You’ll hear:

• What it felt like in the body when the accusation arrived (tightness, heat, urge to defend)
• The exact pause-and-reflect process Michelle used to avoid reactivity
• Why leadership rooted in self-trust is more sustainable than leadership rooted in self-sacrifice
• How trauma-sensitive yoga and embodiment practices help you notice, name, and choose your response
• Three reflective questions (The Thoughtful Three) to use when you’re triggered
  
  
  

Key takeaways:

• You can’t think your way into confidence — you have to feel your way back to it.
• Being in service doesn’t require self-sacrifice; anchoring in your worth makes your service sustainable.
• Not everyone will understand your power — that’s okay. The work is to remember your worth for yourself.

Resources mentioned:

• Join the 7 Days to Reignite Your Inner Light Challenge: https://www.michellevandehey.com/store 
• Join the Love Your Life On Purpose Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/187015119071559 

Thoughtful Three — Reflection Questions:

1. When was the last time you felt the urge to shrink or apologize for your power?
2. What would it look like to respond instead of react in that moment?
3. What helps you reconnect to your inner sense of worth when others don’t see it?

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Transcript

  📍  Have you ever had one of those moments when someone says something to you that just hits you right in the gut,  and they might not even realize how deep it lands, but you feel it. That happened to me recently. Someone told me. Or rather accused me of being inauthentic and self-serving and said I wasn't showing up for my community, and that I was only asking others to show up for me.

And in the past, that kind of comment would have really thrown me and it would've sent me kind of spiraling  down questioning if I was doing something wrong, if I was. Being too much, being too big, and if I was out of alignment with my mission, it would've really made me want to shrink. But this time something was different.

In this episode, I am going to share with you. What I learned through this experience and how  owning my power  and , having the self-confidence really helped me to shift what could have been something very detrimental for myself into something that felt more empowering. And at the end, I will leave you with my thoughtful three reflection questions 

to help you. When you are in a situation like this, after a lifetime of always prioritizing everyone else's needs over your own, do you feel like you don't know who you are anymore? Maybe you're moving into a new phase of life, or you are going through a life transition and you're saying to yourself, I'm lost, or, who am I?

You might be feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and yet you still want to make the world a better place. You are not alone. It's time to prioritize yourself and power your mission. It's time to love your life on purpose. I'm Michelle Vande Hay, a conscious leadership and embodiment coach, speaker, author, and advocate helping caregivers.

Change makers and mission driven leaders reclaim their energy, their voice, and their authentic power without sacrificing their wellbeing, creating more impact without burning out. Let's explore who you are and rediscover who you want to become because you are worth it.



So recently I had someone accusing me of  being inauthentic in my way that I was asking people to support me because they felt that I was not supporting my quote unquote community and. In that initial message, I could feel my body responding first, the tightening in my chest, the heat rising in my body, and the old urge to feel like I needed to explain myself and defend my worth.

But instead of reacting, I was able to pause, luckily because it was a message that I could read and respond to as opposed to read and react to.  I took some time to do a little self-reflection, then I remembered this isn't about them, it's about me and  owning who I am.  What I know to be true, because here's the thing, when you start owning your power, when you start shining from a place of confidence and self-trust, not everyone will understand it. Some people will feel uncomfortable. Some will project their own insecurities onto you, and that's okay.

Even though it doesn't feel okay. The work isn't about convincing others of your worth. It's about remembering it for yourself. In that moment, I realized how far I had come because the old me would've collapsed. I would've internalized that criticism and made it proof that I wasn't doing enough or being enough, and I  would've probably spent a lot more time defending myself and also being overly critical of this person.

Instead, I was.  Asking questions and I was being curious, and I was lucky enough that this was via  text  and not a verbal  confrontation. Because I was able to also just like burn off some steam by saying things out loud that I had no intention of sending.

But here's the A message that I want you to hear  that. Being in service doesn't mean you have to be continually self-sacrificing. Being connected to your community doesn't mean abandoning yourself. In fact, the more anchored you are in your power, in your truth, and in your own worth, the more authentic and sustainable your service becomes.

 The more sustainable your mission becomes and , that's what it means to lead from the inside out. That's what it means to embody confidence, not the kind that's loud or performative, but the kind that's rooted, grounded, and true and.

That's why I love to facilitate trauma sensitive yoga and help folks come back to their bodies and not only come back to their bodies, but also  notice things in their bodies and making choices about what they wanna do with what they are noticing. Because so often we are taught to. A, ignore our bodies, and B, if we're noticing it, to just push it away and ignore ourselves.

And when we're doing that, it breaks down  our self-worth. It breaks down our self-confidence. And when we have that practice of doing it with our bodies, because oftentimes our bodies are speaking to us first  before anything else, it's up to us to, first of all, notice it. 'cause oftentimes we've ignored it for so long that we don't notice it anymore.

And then second of all, it's up to us to then decide what we wanna do with that information as opposed to feel like there's something we should or shouldn't do with that information. Because 

we can't think our way into confidence. We have to feel it. We have to reconnect to our bodies. That wisdom that's always there for us, waiting to guide us. Through trauma sensitive yoga and mindfulness, and through slowing down enough to listen, we begin to rebuild that inner trust.

We remember what safety feels like within ourselves, and when we trust ourselves, other people's judgments lose their power over us, and that is powerful. Now if you are ready to start reconnecting with yourself to feel that inner light again and rebuild your confidence from the inside out, I created something just for you.

It's called the Seven Days to Reignite Your Inner Light Challenge. It's simple, powerful practices that help you to feel grounded, clear, and connected again, so you can lead and live  from your fullest self. You can join for free by using the link in the show notes. It's a beautiful way to start this journey or to reset if you've been feeling dimmed a lot lately.

 So if you've ever been called selfish for setting boundaries or being told you're too much for shining your light, or maybe you feel guilty for saying yes to yourself, I want you to know that's not selfish 

that is taking care of yourself. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to honor your needs. You are allowed to own your power without apology, because when you do, you give others the permission to do the same. And that's how we create harmony, not balance, not perfection, but harmony between who we are and how we serve.

And if you're looking for a space. Where you can be surrounded by other heart-centered leaders who are on the same journey. Join me in my Facebook group called Love Your Life On Purpose. It's where I share resources, reflections, and encouragement for change makers like you who are learning to honor themselves as much as their mission.

You can find the link in the show notes. I'd love to see you there. 

Before we get to the thoughtful three. As always, if this message resonated with you, feel free to subscribe for more videos about burnout and rediscovering who you are outside of what you do. 

You're welcome to like this video, and then if you thought of someone while you were listening to this podcast or watching this on YouTube, please share it with that person and say you thought of them because they need this message too. The thoughtful three reflective questions. Number one, when was the last time you felt the urge to shrink or apologize for your power for showing up for shining your light? Number two, what would it look like to respond instead of react in that kind of moment?

And number three, what helps you reconnect to your inner sense of worth When others don't see it? Take some time to reflect on these questions. You're welcome to send me your answers,  connect with me,

or answer these questions in the community. Love your life on purpose 

as always, remember to prioritize yourself and power your mission because you are worth it.