Ep #5: Crazy Ways Listening To My Intuition Changed My Life!

In episode five of the Secure Love Club podcast, I share personal stories where trusting my intuition led to life-changing outcomes, such as changing career paths, ending a significant relationship, and even moving to Bali. By reflecting on these experiences, I aim to show how reconnecting with and trusting your inner voice can positively transform your life. Additionally, I provide actionable steps to help you strengthen your connection with your intuition, avoid common mistakes, and better navigate life's decisions. Tune in to learn how to distinguish your intuition from anxiety and start making decisions that align with your true desires.

🤩JOIN PEACEFULLY ATTACHED: https://mimiwattcoaching.thrivecart.com/peacefully-attached-2/

APPLY TO WORK WITH ME 1:1 [ONLY 2 SPACES AVAILABLE] https://forms.gle/qNwKndTzEbF98JRg8

SOCIAL MEDIA

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mimiwatt/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mimiwatt1?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc 

Got something you'd love me to record an episode on? DM me on Instagram and let me know!

ONE GIANT MIND MEDITATION APP: https://www.1giantmind.com/

Transcript

0:00

You are listening to the Secure Love Club podcast with Mimi Watt, episode five. Hey friends, welcome back to the club. I've been having many conversations in the last couple of weeks with many of you in my DMs, also with my clients about how do you tell the difference between your anxiety and your intuition when it comes to all things in life, but mostly love? How do you know if what someone's doing is shady or if it's just your anxiety freaking out? How do you know who's a good match for you? Who's not, what the right decision is, what's not. But. What if I told you that deep down, you already know what's best for you, but you've just been taught to ignore it? Today, we're talking about intuition, how listening to mine has completely changed my life, and how learning to trust yours can change your life too. Your intuition is like a built in guidance system. It's that quiet voice inside that nudges you toward what's truly right for you, even when logic or external expectations say otherwise. Have you ever been in a situation where everything looked great on paper, but something just felt off? Or maybe you had that little whisper inside, only to later realize it was trying to warn you. That is your intuition trying to protect and guide you. So why do so many people ignore it? Because we've been conditioned to doubt ourselves. We follow the paths we think we should take instead of the ones we truly want. You study medicine because your parents dreamed of you becoming a doctor, but deep down you want to open your own Pilates studio. You stay stuck in a relationship because it's comfortable, even though you've outgrown each other. You stick to a career that drains you, because changing paths feels like throwing away years of hard work. When you make choices based on fear, obligation, or societal pressure, rather than what you truly want, it's no surprise that you feel stuck or unfulfilled. But the good news is that you can learn to reconnect with your intuition and start making decisions that align with your true desires. For years, I barely heard my intuition. Growing up, I was taught to second guess myself. In relationships, I ignored red flags, convincing myself I was just overthinking. In my career, I looked for external validation instead of trusting my gut. But every time I have acted on my intuition without question, My life improved, my confidence grew, and my self trust deepened. The more you listen to that inner voice, the stronger it becomes. And when you start making choices that align with your truth, Everything changes. So if you're at a crossroads in life, or you're struggling to trust yourself in relationships, this episode is for you. I'll be sharing how I went from barely hearing my intuition to making it my ultimate compass in life. The biggest mistakes people make when it comes to intuition and the incredible tangible results I've experienced. both in love and in my personal life by learning from these mistakes and not repeating them, and actionable steps you can take to strengthen your connection with your own inner knowing. All right, let's dive in. As I mentioned, my connection with my intuition hasn't always been strong. It's always been there, just like it has been for you, and it is there right now. We all are. are born with an intuition, but mine have been drowned out by early life experiences. If you've listened to my earlier podcast, then you will have an understanding of my upbringing and the certain family dynamics that I experienced, that I really do believe that had an impact on the confidence that I had in myself to be able to listen to my instincts and my intuition and act on it, like follow through on the things that my inner knowing was trying to tell me to do. And I believe part of that reasoning comes from experiences of being emotionally invalidated or unheard when I was a child. And maybe you can relate to this, those moments when, uh, I was feeling a certain way and I would go to my parents or parents, whoever it was at the time, and when I would try to tell them how I was feeling, it wasn't met with, that makes sense. I can understand why you would feel that way. Let's talk about it, you know, and I'm not saying this was the case all the time, but there were many experiences where it was met with, Oh, don't be ridiculous, or you're just being overly sensitive. You're just being emotional. Like just, just forget about it. And so that repeatedly happening definitely compounded over time to lead me to really question myself. So when I did have. one of those little nudges inside, instead of taking it as gospel and acting on it, I would turn around and question myself and I'd say, well, you know, all of these authority figures in my life have told me time and time again, that I'm being ridiculous or overly dramatic. So maybe I can't trust this inner voice. Maybe, I'm in the wrong. And so this then led me into finding a similar dynamic in my adult relationship. So if you're anxiously attached, you will know that we often carry this into seeking out romantic partners where we will create a similar dynamic. So that meant that I used to be with people who would gaslight me in the relationship. When I would speak up about something that I was feeling a concern, I had, a little niggle or a hunch about something that may be going on. Most of the time I was met with, again, you're being ridiculous. You're too much. You are just so sensitive. You're overly emotional. So again, that intuition, that voice was drowned out. I think most of us were taught not to trust ourselves, either indirectly or or directly. we were taught to doubt, dismiss, and second guess our instincts. Even in school, if you think about it, we were taught to get in line, do as we were told, and there was really little space for individuality or self expression. We were taught to follow the pack, don't step out of line. And what does that do? Squashes The way, your unique way of seeing the world. Your unique way of communicating your ideas and your feelings based on your lived experiences. Certain key moments in my life have shown me how powerful this inner knowing is, and every time I acted on it, I am telling you my life got better. My relationship with myself improved tenfold. My confidence grew, my ability to trust and back myself grew. And this had a ripple effect into all areas of my life, into my friendships, into my career, and most importantly, into my romantic relationships. So let's dive in to what those key moments were. And I'm going to pair each experience with one of the biggest mistakes I see people making when it comes to your intuition and how I basically created this result in my life by not repeating that mistake. The first life changing moment takes us all the way back to, I want to say 2017 or 2018. So at the time I was a personal trainer, uh, And I was just finishing up my bachelor's degree in exercise and sports science. And I was on this path where I was going to do a master's in exercise physiology. And at this time in my life, I was. really dependent on external validation to direct my decision making, particularly my dad's. So when it came to, when it comes to my career success and development in this area, I really look up to my dad and have always sort of followed his word quite closely. I was living at home at the time and we were very close, and he was right alongside me as I was doing this degree and following this path and, would often say to me, I think you're really suited to this, I think this is going to be a great career for you, I think you're on the right track, and whilst he was not wrong, was I was a great personal trainer and I do think I would have done well as an exercise physiologist. I sort of knew deep down that this, this path was not going to light me up and give me that long lasting fulfillment of A career that could span 50 years, right? And it was around the same time that I was finishing up my bachelor's degree, that my eldest sister, Dominica, sent me a podcast episode by a woman named Brooke Castillo. And Brooke is a life coach from America. Amazing woman. She's actually the reason I got into coaching. And she sent me this podcast episode and she goes, I think you should have a listen to this. I feel like you'd really like it. And my sister knows that I've always been into personal development. And so obviously she just thought I'd be into it. So I had to listen to this podcast and I'll never forget it was, I was a personal trainer, but I was also working at a cafe part time and I was working in the juice room and I was in the back. I had my headphones in, I'm like making a juice. And I listened to this episode and I think it was about allowing urges and How to overcome, you know, these urges and temptations in life that try to bring us down as a way to stop us from pursuing things that are meaningful to us. And I listened to this episode, and My mind was blown in so many ways because it was the first time that my eyes were open to the fact that this could be a career, helping people on their personal development journey, their mindset, and all this could be actually turned into a career. I didn't fully realize this at the time. And it was funny because, I think part of the reason that I was such a great personal trainer wasn't because I was the best at the exercises or, knowing how to write the perfect program for someone, but it was actually for those softer skills that were Being able to listen to someone, and hold space for them, and give them emotional support, and reassurance, and encouragement. That was my superpower when it came to personal training, and so, anyway, when I was first opened up to this, this world of coaching, I just went down the biggest rabbit hole and I started listening to all the podcasts, researching, trying to learn everything I could. And I remember I came to this moment where this little voice inside me said this is what you're meant to be doing with your life. I had learnt from previous times in my life that if I was going to go and start seeking a ton of external validation on this decision of Is this right for me? Should I do this? I would probably be met with a lot of skepticism and I guess judgment, or maybe even opinions of that's not possible. You're too young. The coaching industry isn't established enough. You should just stick to the path you're on. And I had seen myself make that mistake before. So I decided. You know what? I'm going to give myself this validation. And so I kept this dream of mine quiet for six months. And when I say six months, I'm talking about six months of working up the confidence to tell my dad that I was not going to pursue a masters in Exercise physiology, and that I wanted to become a life coach. And so all the while, these six months up until the point of telling him I'm researching, I'm just immersing myself into the world of coaching. What's possible. I'm looking up coaching certifications. I'm trying to figure out the path that I need to take to get there before I have this conversation with a very important person in my life whose opinion carries a lot of weight to me. So. I built up the confidence, and this is the hilarious part in this story one night, as he always did, my dad would come into my room and sit on the edge of my bed and have a chat, and want to catch up about how I was doing, how my day was, and it was like the highlight of my day, I really loved it. Anyway, so he comes in, and I'm really nervous, and he's sitting on the edge of my bed, and I am like, Mimi, this is the crunch time. This is when you need to have this conversation. So he's sitting there and I said, dad, I have to tell you something. And he looks at me. He's like, okay. And I literally just said, I'm not going to do my master's in exercise physiology. I'm going to become a life coach. And I think because I had said it with conviction, looking him dead in the eyes and his response literally made my jaw hit the floor. He just goes. Oh, well, I think you'd be really good at that. And I was like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? It took me six months to work up the courage to tell you that. And that's your response. And he started laughing. He's like, what do you mean? That's my response. Of course, I just want you to be happy. If you think that's, what's going to make you happy, then I support you. It was hilarious. And I definitely had a laugh at myself, but, um, I learned from, from that moment that the power of just backing yourself and giving yourself the internal validation to trust your decisions. And to this day, that was one of the most powerful, important, influential decisions I've ever made in my life. Because if I had not have made that, I wouldn't be sitting here today. We wouldn't be having this conversation, you and I. So this was definitely a life altering decision. And this is where I see people going wrong. You know, like how many times have you felt something down, but then you just went around asking for everyone else's opinion, just to be sure. Okay. And this is particularly common. If you have an anxious attachment style, you've probably likely, learned to outsource your decisions to others. So whether it's friends, it's family, or even, I don't know, strangers on the internet, because trusting yourself feels uncomfortable. And again, that likely comes from those early childhood experiences of being invalidated in your emotions, in your perspective on things, so you go around asking people do you think I should break up with them? Do you think this job is right for me? Do you think I'm overreacting? And whilst it's okay to sometimes seek support or validation of your decisions, you do need to be careful about who you ask and also keeping it really limited to the number of people you ask. Because the problem with asking every man and his dog what you should do is no one else has your intuition. So when you constantly seek validation, you disconnect from your own inner wisdom. And sometimes the people you're asking, they don't even have the answers or they will give you an answer that is filtered through their view of what they believe is possible in this life. And if they don't think it's possible to start your own coaching business and to become a life coach in your twenties. then that's going to weigh on you, especially in those stages where, you know, you don't have a lot of evidence to back up this decision. You're truly acting on blind faith and this inner knowing. You need to be so careful about the opinions that you seek. So that is the first life changing experience that I had pursuing my coaching career by avoiding or sidestepping the mistake I had learned in the past of seeking too much external validation instead of trusting myself. The second life changing experience that I had was my breakup in 2020 that was the catalyst for my journey of healing my anxious attachment style and becoming securely attached within myself and relationships. I was in a relationship with A beautiful man, he is a lovely person, and we are still friends to this day, but at the time that we got together, I was completely unaware of what attachment styles were, let alone that I was extremely anxiously attached, and he was heavily avoidant of them. From the very beginning of that relationship, from very early on, my body was trying to tell me that he was not a good match for me. This relationship was going to be very difficult. It was speaking to me. It was sending me nudges. I was having physical bodily reactions, a lot of anxiety and stress. And. I continued to ignore that for quite some time. And I remember towards the second half of that relationship, it became louder and louder. And I kept on thinking, I think I really need to pay attention here. This is not going away. This feeling isn't going away. No matter how many times I get reassurance from my partner or, I fight and fight and fight to finally get a little bit of validation. This feeling is not going away. And so when I finally decided to stop ignoring it and to actually end and leave the relationship? I mean, fuck, was it painful as fuck? Yes, it was the most painful, in a way, like, breakup that I have ever experienced because it really was the breakup that just cracked me wide open and forced me to stop and take a look in the mirror and say, Mimi, I'm This can't happen again. We cannot go through this again because relationships this way are soul destroying. And you are the common denominator amongst all of your shady relationships, amongst all the pain, all the incompatible people you've dated, you are the common denominator. So it's time to get real about your patterns, about why this keeps happening. And this breakup, by finally listening to that intuition that was not going away, it was the catalyst to me going on a journey of self development in the relationship realm and understanding why I was the way I was in relationships, why they'd always been so difficult, where that was stemming from, and what the fuck I was going to do to change relationships going forward. Because believe me when I tell you, I just had to put my foot down. Was it painful? Yes. Was it one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do? Not running back to him? Yes. But it changed my life. And again, I wouldn't be here today, sitting here talking to you, if I had not acted on my intuition back then in 2020. This is the second mistake I see people making, and that of course I have made as well. is dismissing your intuition as just anxiety in dating. I see people convincing themselves that their intuition is just, it's just their anxious attachment acting up. Especially when it's telling them someone isn't right for them. When you have an anxious attachment style, you're so used to feeling uneasy in dating, it just becomes the norm. So when your intuition nudges you, maybe it's with a gut feeling that something is off, there's a sense of discomfort around the way someone treats you. You might just brush it off thinking, I'm just overthinking, or I think maybe I'm just expecting too much. I'm asking for too much. This is just my anxiety making me doubt them. But, here's the truth. Your intuition isn't the same as your anxiety. Anxiety is a frantic, fear based response. It's often tied to insecurity and a need for reassurance. But intuition, on the other hand, is a quiet, grounded knowing. It's that persistent feeling in the background, in your gut, that doesn't go away, no matter how much you try to rationalize it. For example, let's say you notice early on that the person you're dating is inconsistent. So they cancel plans last minute, they don't really show up for you, and something just feels off. But instead of trusting that feeling, you tell yourself, Oh, I just need to be more chill. Or I just have an anxious attachment. I just need to work through it. Like, it's my fault. It's on me. But deep down, you know, in that very, very deep, dark corner of your heart, you know this person isn't showing up in the way that you need or deserve. So your intuition will often give you these little signals. Maybe it's a moment of unease. It's a gut feeling when they say or they do something that doesn't align. It's a sense of emotional disconnection. But if you've been conditioned to doubt yourself, you might find that you often ignore those signs in favor of hope or potential. You know, it might get better. I see the potential of this relationship. So you ignore what's actually happening in the present moment. You ignore who this person is right now. in favor of who they could be. And I had done this too many times. And so this really was another life changing moment where I decided, you know what, enough is enough, because the truth has legs and it will remain standing. So it's about time I pay attention to it. And change my life. And that, I did. The next life changing experience I went through was surrendering to my business collapsing in 2022. For some context, When I started my business in, it was about the end of 2019, I started off in general life coaching, helping women, work on their career or finding their passion. And then I had a stint of business coaching. I was working on helping brand new coaches get their business off the ground and develop their first offer and put it out there into the world. And that decision to do the business coaching was definitely premature, but it was influenced by the I was working with at the time because I had said to him that I was really passionate about business. It was really interesting to me. And so he sort of suggested, well, why don't you go into business coaching? And I remember at the time being like, what are you talking about? Like I haven't been doing this for long enough. To call myself a business coach, but he was so convicted in just being like, no, no, no, you can do it. You can do it. I believe in you. I can help you. And I was quite naive at this time in my life when it came to business. And so I said yes. And I followed that path and, there were many good aspects to that path, but I do remember again, thinking, This doesn't feel fully right, I don't feel embodied enough in what I'm teaching to do it in integrity, in a way, right, that like that whisper was quiet, but it was there, and I ended up going into business with another life coach, and we worked together for Uh, About 10 months, I want to say. And we had a business coaching program that also taught other people, how to become coaches. So we were teaching coaching principles as well as how to start your business. And whilst that was an amazing experience that I, Would never take back because I learned so much from it. It just wasn't meant to be. And in, I think it was April of 2022, it's all fell to the ground and it wasn't working. And me and my business partner at the time had to have a very real, honest conversation about that. And we decided to part ways, and this was a really. Difficult, dark chapter of my life because my world honestly turned upside down in a matter of a week, I want to say, like a week or two weeks. I was running my coaching business full time. Living in my dream apartment with a view of the ocean. In Bondi in Australia. And my life looked the way I had always wanted it to look. and then when this business was not working and the money wasn't coming in because, we were clearly out of alignment. And I think that really translates to people like people pick up on that. You know, when there's a, when you're out of alignment in what you're teaching, it shows. And so obviously the sales reflected that. So it wasn't working. And within the space of. Yeah, I think one to two weeks I had to move out of my apartment and I moved in with my grandma. Luckily, I was able to do that. Money wasn't coming in from my coaching business. And I literally needed money to pay rent for the next two weeks. And I didn't know what I was going to do. So I was frantically searching for jobs on Seek, where I could make money and get paid within that same week. And one of the first things that came up was a house cleaning job. Um, And I can still remember, I remember sitting on the couch in that apartment, just absolutely bawling, being like, how has this happened? How has my life come to this? Anyway, it was a very humbling experience, so I started cleaning houses, that week. I moved in with my grandma, and, um, I basically hit rock bottom and I just couldn't show up on Instagram to save my life. I think I didn't realize how much stress was involved in the last few months of that partnership in that business of trying to make money and make sales that when it all finally came to a head, I just had nothing left to give and I honestly had a full blown identity crisis. I didn't know who I was anymore because I had tied so much of my identity to my business that without it I felt unworthy. I wasn't proud of who I was anymore. It was really, honestly, it was so difficult. And I remember wanting to desperately cling on for dear life to this previous business. I was trying to force myself to show up on Instagram. I was trying to force myself to create posts. I was trying to, sign clients, even when I was feeling like shit. And there was this moment where I remember my intuition said to me, You have to let go. You have to let go of what you had. You have to let go of who you were, running this business, this idea of what you were coaching people on. You have to let go. And it was one of the scariest things I've ever had to do because I remember feeling this very real fear of what if it never comes back? What if the drive to coach and to run my business never comes back? And the reason it was so terrifying was because when I started my business, I did not give myself a plan B. I went full in. I was like, this is what I'm doing. There is no backup plan. So it's this or it's this or this basically. And so letting go, you can imagine how scary that was. I didn't know what I was going to do. And my whole, demeanor changed. I'm someone who typically walks around in the world with my shoulders back and my head held high because I'm proud of who I am and I know that I'm following my passion, which I think gives you a lot of confidence, but I didn't have that at the time. And not long after I went and got a job as a receptionist, I stopped the house cleaning job, I got a job as a receptionist, and I thought I'd be living at my grandma's place for six months. More like 18 months. Because sometimes these processes of breaking down They take longer than we think they do. They often take longer because there's actually much more under the surface that needs to be healed. Anyway, I'm going on a tangent, but basically I decided to follow that intuitive pull and I let go. I fully surrendered to the process. And I said, you know what, I'm not going to try and force anything. What I'm going to do is I'm going to work at this job. I'm going to pay back some debt that I had built up from starting my business. I'm going to work on my health and fitness, and if and when the desire comes back, it'll come back. I was in this sort of void for about maybe six to eight months where I really wasn't showing up at all. And then there was this one night when I was working at the dental practice it was 8pm on a Thursday night, I was sitting at the computer, there was no one in the waiting room, it was really quiet, and this spark of inspiration came back through. It just said, tell your story, write, tell your story of where you've been over the last year, what's happened, and that's what I did, and I started writing, and my story poured out of me, and I shared it on Instagram, it just was this natural inclination, telling me to share it, so I did. And that sparked this total uprise of coming back 10 times stronger than I'd ever been before. And shortly after that time, I realized that I had been on such a journey with relationships, with my anxious attachment style. I had done so much work on myself and that is what I was truly passionate about. And that is what I wanted to help people with. And so my relationship coaching business was born out of pure passion. passion and embodied lived experience. Oh my God. It almost makes me emotional talking about it because it really is so powerful. Like it gives me chills. And the lesson here is where I see people going wrong is only listening to your intuition when it's convenient. Let me tell you, listening to my intuition in this time of my life was not convenient. It was the opposite of convenient. It was so painful. It was a period of grief, a period of letting go of who I was, of living in the void, of not knowing what was coming. It was so worth it. This is the mistake I see is people only trusting their intuition when it tells you what you want to hear. But sometimes intuition gives us answers that are really hard to accept. You know, it might tell you this relationship isn't right for you. This job is draining your soul. Or you need to set boundaries here. But instead of listening, you resist it because it's uncomfortable. So you keep holding on, hoping things will change, even though deep down, you know, the truth. True self trust means honoring your intuition, even when it's inconvenient, because it's always going to guide you toward what's best for you. All right, let's get back on the love train and get back on talking about relationships, because I want to tell you about the next life changing moment, which is when I got into my first secure relationship. Let's rewind the clock back to the end of 2021. About October or November 2021 was when I decided to get back into dating after a year long period of zero dating and only working on myself. So this was pretty much, uh, just over a year after that really difficult breakup that I told you about that was the catalyst to me understanding my So when I understood what my attachment was, I I fully committed myself to working on that and only that and not getting into dating. I hired a coach, I joined a program, I was reading books, I was putting everything I was learning into practice, healing, growing, developing myself as a single woman, as an individual, I was gaining independence, doing all the things that really led me to becoming a 10 times, 100 times more secure than I'd ever been in my life. And again, this was a situation where I said, I'm not going to put pressure on myself. I'm just going to wait until that natural inclination to date comes back. And so it did the end of 2021. I decided, okay, I am ready to get back out there. I'm ready to start dating and to put all of my new secure knowledge into practice and far out. It was crazy. Because I had shifted so much internally, the types of people I was attracting externally were, I mean, it was day and night. It was black and white to who I had used, who I used to attract. And I met and matched with this beautiful man on Hinge, and We, we went on a date, we went on a few dates, and this guy was sticking all the boxes. Everything that I had ever wanted in a partner, he was it. And, um, You know, as some of you who are newly getting into secure relationships, you will know that it's not always the easiest thing to discern if you should pursue a connection, because often secure relationships, when you're not used to them, can feel quite boring, because you don't have that Chaotic, up and down, push and pull, wondering when you're going to hear from them, they're inconsistent, it's an emotional rollercoaster, but with someone who's secure, there is that consistency, there's predictability, they are emotionally available, you know what you're going to get, when they say they're going to do something, they do it, so that was what I was starting to experience, and I remember questioning myself a little bit and being like, really? Like, I don't know. I don't know if I'm actually that into him. I don't know if I'm physically attracted to him enough. I don't know if there's that spark. Okay. So I had all these questions circulating, but There was this very subtle, very quiet whisper. Hold me to lean in. Hold me to give him a chance. Because there were so many green flags, there were so many reasons as to why he would make an amazing partner and why we were so compatible that my intuition just knew. It was basing this decision off all of my past lived experiences and what I had learnt. And it was telling me, it's like, Hello? The universe is finally giving you what you've asked for. Don't fuck this up, Mimi. Like, this is where you need to lean in. And I did. I said, you know what? I'm gonna listen to this little whisper because the old me would have ignored it. And the old me would have ended this relationship, ended this potential relationship, and gone and found someone who, flooded me with anxiety and told, I would have told myself that that was, that was who I was meant to be with because it was so much more exciting and intense, right? I know you've been there. Anyway. I listened to this whisper, and man am I glad I did, because that whisper was the beginning of an amazing, amazing relationship with a secure, loving man who helped me heal so much more and really set the bar for the type of love I know that I deserve and am worthy of now, and that I will never settle for anything less. And we are no longer together, which I did speak about a little bit in the first episode of this podcast. And that is a beautiful thing. It is perfect. It is just as it is supposed to be. We were in each other's lives for, I think we were together for about a year and three months or a year and four months. And we ended up parting ways for particular reasons that were very valid. And I look back on that relationship with nothing but love and fondness. If I had not listened to that whisper and lent into that relationship, I wouldn't have all the wisdom that I have now to be sharing with you. So that was another way that listening to my intuition really did change my life. And this is one of the mistakes I see people making is expecting your intuition to be loud and loud. And dramatic. A lot of people think intuition is some big, dramatic moment, like a lightning bolt of clarity or an obvious sign from the universe. And sometimes it is, but in reality, most of the time, it's usually quiet and subtle, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. And why does this happen? I'm going to put it down to The fact that movies and media have made us believe that intuition should be this loud undeniable experience, you know, you see in the movies, when the couple they first meet and it's like this love at first sight moment and they just know they're meant to be together. We're told this narrative, and so of course that's what you go looking for in relationships, it's what you expect, but it's often so far from that. that's why they call it the slow burn, because the best relationships, they do take time to grow and to build and get to know each other properly and to see if you actually are compatible. Often, it is this whisper, it's that gut feeling, it's that little nudge, that sense of peace that you've never felt before. And it, it doesn't always make sense right away, especially if the experience you're going into is something that's foreign for you. But if you're waiting for a huge sign before making a decision, you might be ignoring a small nudge that has the potential to do that. really change your life. I hope you're having fun listening to these stories because I'm actually having a lot of fun reliving them and telling them to you. Let me move on to the fifth and final life changing experience I had as a result of listening to my intuition. And that is. was moving to Bali. Let me take you back to, you remember I told you I was living with my grandma and that whole dark twisted chapter? That went on for about 18 months and I was finally ready to find a my apartment. I was ready to get back on my feet, to be independent, to move out, yadda yadda. I was getting my business back off the ground. I was wanting to live back in the eastern suburbs. So Bondi, Bronte, around that area. And the rental market in Sydney is fucked, to put it bluntly. It is so competitive, it's very expensive, It's just a nightmare. I was looking for an apartment for, I kid you not, five months. And mind you, I was very set on what I wanted. And I had the luxury of staying at my grandma's until I found the right place. So I know I was in a very privileged position, but alas, it took me five months to find this place. And I found this gorgeous apartment living with one other girl. And this was in a Bronte in Sydney, a beautiful spot. I'm living with this girl and. Three months, we're three months in, no red flags, right? It's easy, life is feeling great again, I'm growing my business, I've got a new side job of working as a trainer at my gym that I was at, like things were moving in the right direction, things were feeling really good. And then three months in, I had a little domestic disagreement, let's call it, with my housemate. And I don't know if I should get into the details, but like, I kind of want to give you the details because it was just, it's almost comical now. Okay, whatever. Fuck it. I'm going to tell you the details. So, um, I was living with this girl, and obviously I'll leave her name and character out of it. Anyway, we were living together, and I'm a very respectful housemate, I am a clean, tidy person. respectful of the other person. I'm not up late at night. I'm quiet. I'm doing my own thing. Anyway, she had this habit of leaving dirty, Pots and pans on the stove top, like ones that we shared. And she'd done this a few times now where she had left it uncleaned for a couple of days. And it was really starting to annoy me because if I wanted to cook. I was like, well, do I have to clean up your shit so that I can use the pan to cook, and the first few times I did, I just did that. But then this last time, it was a Sunday evening, I was tired and she'd done it again. And so I was like, okay, Mimi, you need to say something. You need to lay a boundary because we want to nip this in the bud. I very kindly said to her hey, hope you're having a lovely day. I just want to ask that When we use the shared appliances, would it be cool if we wash them that day or the next morning so they're ready to go for the other person to use? Totally fair request, turns out she absolutely couldn't handle that I had asked her that, and, uh, went on to gaslight me, to tell me I was being dramatic, to, say that if it was her, she just would have gotten on with it and just done it herself. And it was, it was very shocking. And this woman was in her forties. And I was like, are you kidding me? I cannot believe you are having this kind of response to a very simple, very valid question that is to be expected when you live with housemates. Long story short, we ended up having a conversation. I thought we cleared the air. And then one week later, after her having literally dodged me all week, I get a text message when I'm at work one day of her saying, Hey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided I'm going to live by myself, in the apartment because she was on the lease and I wasn't. Basically saying you need to get the fuck out. I was at a crossroads where I was like, are you kidding me? How is this happening? I can't, like, I've just settled, I'm just getting my life back on track, and now this person's asking me to move out, am I gonna have to go through this whole debacle again of needing to find somewhere to move out? when it's proven to be, it was so difficult to find this place. And I was just at this crossroads and I was like, what the fuck, like, why is this happening? At this point I still had the reception job, I was working at the gym, and I was getting my business off the ground, I was a busy girl. My work wife at the time at the receptionist job, who's still an amazing friend of mine, said to me, Why don't you just pack up and move? Like, go overseas. Go, go somewhere. Take your business. Go, work on it. Go live overseas. You have nothing holding you down here. You don't have a mortgage. You're not in a relationship. Nothing is holding you back. Just go. And I think this really was one of those moments of someone saying the right thing at the right time at the right stage in my life to have it actually land and make an impact. So when she said that, I said, Huh. Maybe you're right. Maybe I should do that, I'd already booked a holiday to go to Bali with one of my good friends, for a fitness retreat. And this was, at this point, it was about six weeks out that we had booked the flight to go to the retreat. I said to her, okay, here's what I might do. I'll go to the retreat, see how I feel being in Bali, because I've never been there before. And if I like it, then I'll come home. I'll pack up my shit. I'll pack up my life and I'll make the move. And she looked at me and she's like, why would you do that? Just don't come back. And I looked at her, I was like, what? Okay, now you're actually crazy. I can't do that. And she said, why, why can't you? And I said, well, because I need to, I don't know. I need to give notice in my jobs. I need to pack up my life. I need to sell my car. Like I, you know, I've never been to Bali. I can't do that. And she looked at me and she's like, yes, you can. And I was like, I don't know what you're saying. I got to go. So I left work that day and I'm in my car driving home. And my intuition comes online. And she's saying to me, maybe she's right. Maybe you should just go all in and make this bold decision and the universe will help everything fall into place. I didn't act on my intuition in that moment, but I started to listen to it and the next morning I went on a walk and I'm like trying to listen to it again. I'm like, what is this feeling? Should I be doing this? And then I just reach this moment. And I said, you know what? Fuck it. Fuck it. I know that this doesn't make logical sense, this won't make logical sense to a lot of people, but for some reason this felt right. I couldn't explain it. I'd never been to Bali in my life. I'd never been there, but for some reason this suggestion that my friend had made to me, it just made sense. It was like, I could feel myself living there before I'd even been there. So I made this decision and I decided to also employ another tactic I'd done before, where I was like, I'm not going to speak about this to people. I'm going to keep this very quiet. I might speak to one or two people whose opinion I want on this or whose More like who's backing and support. I wanted kind of to tell me to just go for it. But I'm not going to speak to this about to my parents, to all my family members, until I've got my ducks in a row and it's happening, it's not a question of if I'm going to do this, it's I'm doing it and I'm telling you. the amazing thing about this experience was that once I decided internally, this is what I'm doing. And mind you, this was five weeks until I was getting on that plane to leave to Bali. Once I made the decision, the cascade of things that happened that made everything fall into place for me so effortlessly was Amazing. I gave notice at both my jobs. I gave a month's notice. I was packing up my life. I needed to move out of my apartment, as I'd mentioned. And my sister's boyfriend's mom lived just around the corner in Bronte, in this beautiful house. And she heard about what had happened and she reached out and said, Mimi, if you need somewhere to stay, in the interim, you're welcome to come here. So I was able to literally move around the corner and stay with her for a month before I went to Bali. Rent free, so I got to save extra money. And then when it came down to selling my car, I remember my dad said to me, you're not going to sell your car before you go to Bali. I'm not trying to be negative. I'm just saying that I've sold plenty of cars in my time and it takes time. I just wouldn't get your hopes up. And I said to him, Well, I need to sell this damn car because I need the money to get to make this happen. I was so convicted. And again, the universe conspiring to help me. I got a message from this lovely couple a week before I left. They came over to see Kevin. Kevin, that was my car's name. If you know, you know. And they, they saw Kevin, loved him and decided to buy him, paid in full and transferred me the money a day before I got on the plane to Bali. I moved to Bali and I lived there for six months and it was. an incredible chapter of my life. It was exactly what I needed at the time. It gave me the time, freedom, and the space to really give this new business the attention that it needed, and just the space for me to really drive my passion into the place I wanted to, without being distracted by having two other jobs and, bosses I needed to answer to, and having to pay an exorbitant amount of rent just to get by every week. All of that suddenly dropped away, and it was like I had this fresh, clean slate to really do what I wanted to do, and it was incredible, and I made amazing friends, who I'm still friends with to this day, after having come back to Australia. And so, yeah. The moral of this story is that what people do is they ignore their intuition because it doesn't make logical sense. You dismiss your intuition simply because there's no evidence to back up what it's telling you to do. And we've been conditioned to trust logic over feelings. Society teaches us that if we can't explain something in rational step by step reasoning, it mustn't be valid. But intuition doesn't work like that. It's anything but logic. It's anything but rational most of the time. It's just subtle, and it's this wisdom that unfolds over time. think about when you knew something, just felt off about a person or a situation. Or, you just knew you were meant to do a certain thing. You were But then you ignored it, because you couldn't prove why, or you didn't have enough logical reasoning to prove that it was a good decision. But then later you realized that you were right all along. Your intuition, it's like a puzzle piece, you don't always see the full picture right away. But if you trust it, things will start to make sense. And this decision to move to Bali, Didn't really make logical sense at all. It was so random to a lot of people on the outside looking in. It was completely random, illogical, nonsensical, far fetched. But I knew it was what I was meant to do. And I knew because I had so much practice of listening to my intuition and respecting it and honouring it by deciding that I know that it will always tell me what's best for me. It has my best interest at heart. Practice following your intuition, even when it doesn't make logical sense. Alright, with all of this being said, you're probably like, Great, Mimi, I'm glad your life is so wonderful and you've had all these life changing experiences, but, how the fuck does that help me? No, so let's talk about some steps you can take to begin strengthening your connection with your intuition. So you can have life altering moments. The first one is white space or meditation. Now before you roll your eyes and say, Oh my God, meditation, everyone just talks about meditating and how it's supposed to be so amazing, but I hate it. I can't stand it. Just hear me out. Okay. This first step, and I have done all of these. So This is not a situation of do as I say, not as I do. This is like do as I do. Okay. I have been meditating for the, I'm going to say since I reckon I took it up in 2018. So a good seven years now, I've been meditating consistently. It is, without a doubt, one of the most invaluable things you can do for yourself to hear your intuition. What you're doing when you're meditating, or you're just sitting in what we call white space, which is when you have zero distractions. You can do this when you're walking by having a phone free walk, not listening to a podcast or anything. Or if you're just sitting at home without having your laptop or your phone near you, don't have a book or your journal, nothing. It's like you're just sitting there, right? What you're doing is clearing external noise so that downloads can drop in, and you can pick up on what your inner guidance is trying to tell you. I can't tell you the amount of, uh, amazing ideas, realizations, epiphanies, decisions I've made, guidance from my higher self, things like that, that have come to me through meditation or through just being out in nature, going on a walk. I cannot recommend it enough. If you are new to meditation or you haven't an app that works for you. I always recommend the one that I've been using since 2018 is called One Giant Mind. This app is, it's an amazing way to get into meditation because I think you do like a 30 day challenge to begin with where each day the person guiding you will tell you something about meditation so it helps you to understand why you're doing it and how it's benefiting you and then they guide you into it and it just worked really well for me. So, One Giant Mind, I'll link it in the show notes actually so that you can check it out. The next way to strengthen the connection you have with your intuition is practice paying attention to your initial split second gut reaction when being faced with a decision to make. To practice this now, maybe just take a moment to think about a decision you're trying to make. Whatever that is for you, it'll come to your mind when I say that. I want you to practice removing all thoughts or preconceived ideas you might have about this and focus on the feeling when you weigh your options. Generally, when something feels right, there's a pull toward it, an openness, a lightness, a sense of excitement. When something doesn't feel right, you might feel a sense of contraction or resistance, dread, or pulling back. Ask yourself which choice feels relieving. liberating, exciting, or calming? And which one feels heavy or uncomfortable? your initial reaction can give you lots of insight in what might be best for you. And what I see people doing is they will hear, sense, or feel that initial reaction, and then they shit all over it with all of this logic and reasoning and justification and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, which basically is just designed to keep you in indecision. Because when you don't know what to do, it means you don't have to take action. or get outside your comfort zone. A really cool exercise you can use to get a really quick insight into what your gut is telling you to do is a coin toss exercise. So you get a coin and you say, okay, if it lands on heads, it means I'm going to choose X. If it lands on, on tails, it means I'm going to choose Y. And when you flip the coin, you might notice for a second, a very split second, which side you hope it lands on. That is going to be very telling to what your gut is actually wanting you to do, or let's say it lands on head and you get this instant feeling of, fuck, I wish it landed on tails. Okay, that's a really cool exercise to try out. The next way you can practice strengthening your intuition is to just pay attention to your physical sensations, because the brain and body are very intricately connected. When we feel a certain way mentally or emotionally, our physical body responds accordingly, thanks to the connection in our nervous system. For example, if something feels wrong, it doesn't feel right for you, you might notice that you hunch your shoulders or you feel like a heaviness in your chest or you feel sick to your stomach. Likewise, if something feels good, you might be smiling while you're talking about it, or you feel a sense of lightness and openness in your body. There might even be a little bit of nervousness about it. And this is where some people get confused, by fear versus intuition. So to help distinguish between the two, I invite you to think about it this way. How would you feel after The decision is all said and done. So either immediately or a few weeks after, or even a few months after. If you imagine that, do you have a sense of relief, of confidence, of joy? Or does it make you feel sad, regretful, or disappointed? Because fear can typically be overcome when we push through fears, like learning new skills and improving confidence, but intuition typically lingers, right? It gives us that nagging feeling that something isn't right, even after we've made a decision. So imagine you've made the decision and it's a few weeks or months later. How do you feel? And the last and final point of how to strengthen your connection with your intuition is minimize external opinions. Stop going to every man and his dog, your dad, your mom, your sister, your brother, your cousin, your friend, your best friend's friend, your best friend's mom, your friend from high school, your colleagues at work. Stop going to every single person and And asking for their opinion on what you should do because the more you do that, the more you're going to drown out your inner wisdom. If you do need to seek validation from someone, you need a bit of support as you were on this journey of strengthening that self trust, which is completely normal. And I was in that position too. Only seek that validation from someone who you deeply trust and respect or someone who is where you want to be. So if it's a certain career path, seek a mentor or a coach who is in that position, who can help you by relaying the steps they took to get there, or they can, you know, guide you and give you that confirmation that yep, you're on the right track, or no, you're about to repeat a pattern here, or do the wrong thing. Or if you're looking to become more securely attached, right, if you're currently anxiously attached, seek a coach or a mentor who is where you want to be, so that they can help you. They can help guide your decisions and give you that backing and that confidence as you are building that sense of self trust and learning to listen to your intuition and those internal nudges and act on them with confidence. I can definitely say that this one here has been instrumental in my journey in business, in life and relationships. I've always invested in a coach to get that expert guidance. And it has number one, it has just felt so amazing to have someone in my corner who absolutely gets what I'm going through. Number two, They give me the support and accountability to stay on track as I'm trying to reach a particular goal. And number three, it collapses the time it takes to get there, because you don't have to go through all the mistakes they went through. They've already been through them, so they get to help you avoid them. So this one is, is a big one. Speaking of a big one, this was a bit of a beast of an episode, but I'm I think you're going to love it. I feel like this was just, there was a lot of juice flowing here. It's a lot of golden nuggets. So let's just summarize again, these mistakes I want you to try to avoid when it comes to listening to your intuition. Number one is seeking external validation instead of trusting yourself. lean into what that intuition is telling you and try validating yourself or only seek that external validation from someone you trust, like a coach, a mentor, or someone very close to you in your life. The second one is dismissing intuition as just anxiety in dating. So remember, anxiety is going to feel frantic, panicky. Whereas intuition is that quiet, still inner knowing that doesn't go away no matter how many times you try to make it go away. Number three is only listening to your intuition when it's convenient. So, when something is really hard to accept and you don't want to face it, but your intuition is telling you you got to, So if it's that the relationship isn't right for you, the job you're in isn't right for you, you know, you need to set boundaries. It's time to practice listening to that. Number four is expecting your intuition to be loud and dramatic. Remember, this is often a narrative that we have been led to believe through movies and through media, but your intuition is often really subtle and it's like a whisper. So pay attention and listen for the whisper. And number five. is ignoring your intuition because it doesn't make logical sense. Just remember that it's not always going to make logical sense. Sometimes it's going to be like, I don't know why this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it feels right. And if it feels right, it probably is right. All right, my friends, get out there, practice listening to your intuition, go change your life, have a beautiful week, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye bye. Hey, before you head off, if today's episode resonated with you, if you're realizing how often you've ignored your intuition in dating, how many times you've stayed in situations that didn't feel right, hoping they'd magically turn into something else, then this is your sign. It's time to stop second guessing yourself. Stop clinging to potential. Stop feeling like you're too much for wanting clarity and consistency. Because the truth is, your intuition is already telling you what you need. You just need to trust it. And that's exactly what I'll help you do inside Peacefully Attached. This is my 7 week group coaching program designed to help you ditch your anxiety riddled dating patterns, so you can become secure within yourself for the rest of your life. And attract healthy love inside. You'll learn how to decode your attachment style and break free from the patterns, keeping you stuck my gut trust process. So you can spot red, orange, and green flags early before you get attached, how to develop deep self trust and self love. So you never settle for anything less than you deserve, how to stay grounded in dating. No more falling head over heels after one good date and the exact communication skills to express your needs confidently. without fear of being too much. You'll get weekly video and audio modules to guide you step by step. Live Q and A coaching calls with me every single week with the opportunity for one on one coaching, a private group chat with like minded people on the same journey, and a safe, supportive space where you will feel fully seen, heard, and held. Listen, I know you're driven. I know you're ambitious. You figured out your career, your friendships, your life. So why wouldn't you give yourself the same chance to thrive in love? Peacefully Attached is your invitation to step into your most secure, confident, and magnetic self. Doors are now open, but not for long. 11th of March, 2025. So head to the link in the show notes to join us. If you enjoyed today's episode, hit that subscribe button and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Share this episode with your friends and come find me on social so we can hang out between episodes. All the links are below in the show notes.