Ep #8: Navigating Breakups and Embracing Transformation

In episode eight of the Secure Love Club podcast, I address the painful and often isolating experience of going through a breakup and offer a compassionate space for discussing heartbreak. I acknowledge the pain you're going through, share how breakups can lead to powerful transformations, and provide personal anecdotes from my own significant breakups. Whether you're in the midst of a breakup or still struggling to move on, I offer practical tips for processing pain, embracing dissonance, forging new connections, and the importance of going no contact. Let's navigate this journey together and transform through the pain.

APPLY TO WORK WITH ME 1:1 [ONLY 2 SPACES AVAILABLE] https://forms.gle/z98ovBJNdFDiNDJR7

SOCIAL MEDIA Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mimiwatt/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mimiwatt1?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Got something you'd love me to record an episode on? DM me on Instagram and let me know!

Transcript

0:00

You are listening to the Secure Love Club podcast with Mim Wat episode eight. Hey friends. Welcome back to the club. How are you doing today? Whether you're feeling good today, you're feeling kind of flat, you're feeling mediocre, that is okay. And if you are feeling a bit flat today, I'm right there with you. I'm in a bit of a weird mood today. A bit more of a. Quiet, introverted mood. You know those days when you're just quite introspective and you're in your feels a little bit. That's me. But that's okay. Some days I just like that and we forge on and I thought to myself. What better way to lift my spirits than to sit down with my mic, connect with you. I've got my peppermint tea next to me, I've got my incense burning. And to match. To sort of match the mood. Today we are going to talk about breakups and heartbreak. This is a topic that many of you have requested for me to speak on over on my Instagram, and it's something that I'm well versed in. I have definitely been through my fair share of breakups and heartbreak, and I know firsthand how isolating it can feel when you're going through it. They say that heartbreak is, the body registers it as the equivalent of breaking a leg. Like the pain that you feel in your heart is so real on a physical and an emotional level, and it's something that I don't want you to navigate alone. So today I wanna talk to you about, first of all, acknowledging the pain of breakups. Really validating what you're going through and providing a safe space to talk about it. And to not be that person who you know is gonna tell you, oh, whatever, like, you're better off without them, they're an asshole, because that doesn't help. And I know when, when friends say that they're, they're just trying to do the right thing, but we all know that it doesn't actually help the situation. So I'm gonna create a safe space today to just talk about how real it is and acknowledge what you're going through. Then I do want to share how breakups can be an extremely powerful portal for transformation. Now, if you're going through it, if you're right in the middle of your breakup, you may not want to hear this, but I'm going to tell you anyway, because you do need a bit of a life raft, and you need hope when you're going through a breakup. And I can say without a shadow of a doubt, every breakup I've gone through has been. Powerful in transforming me into the next version of myself. I have always learned valuable lessons and come out the other side stronger and you will too. Okay, then I'm going to touch on. My personal experiences with two breakups in particular, two of the most significant breakups in my adult life, and they were quite different breakups and both of them required different tactics, I guess, to, to navigate. So I'm gonna touch on those and then I'm gonna give you tips for how to process your breakup and navigate the journey of finding yourself again. So whether you are in a breakup right now, or it happened a while ago, but you still feel like you are not letting go and you aren't over it, this episode is going to help you. Alright, let's dive in. Let, let's be real here. Breakups fucking suck. There is no sugarcoating it. It is a gut wrenching experience that can leave you feeling like the rug has been pulled out from under you, whether you saw it coming or if it hit you out of nowhere. And I have experienced both. The pain is real, and here's the thing. You are allowed to feel every single ounce of it. I know that when you are going through a breakup, it literally feels like nothing else in the world matters. Your job doesn't matter. Eating doesn't matter. Exercising doesn't matter because what is real and present for you is the raw emotion and pain that you are experiencing in your body. And you probably feel like doing nothing but hiding in your bed under the covers and lying in the fetal position and just sobbing your heart out. And if that's where you are at right now, that is okay. We've all been there, and anyone who wants to come in and tell you straight out the bat, like, you know, come on. You just need to pull yourself together. Everything's gonna be okay. You just need to get back on track. Like, you know that relationship wasn't good for you, or whatever it might be. Fuck that noise. Okay, I'm gonna be the one to say it. There is a certain timeframe when you initially go through a breakup where you need to just rot in the pain. You need to be in it. We are not the kind of people who are going to distract ourselves by jumping straight back into dating, getting blind, drunk, like doing these things that are really detrimental to us. But if you wanna lie in bed and just watch Netflix and cry and lie in your bed for a week straight, this is your official permission slip to do that. There needs to be a time of grieving and just being present with the pain you are feeling in your body. I dunno if you can relate to this, but each time I've been through a breakup in a weird way, I have never felt more alive. I have never felt more human because the pain forces you to pay attention. You are no longer living on autopilot. You are so. A raw in your reality because the pain, the emotion in your body is screaming at you. It's real. You can't ignore it. I know that there's a part of you that might wanna bypass the pain, maybe distracting yourself, keeping busy, jumping back into dating, like I said, or even convincing yourself that you're fine when deep down you are, anything. But, but let me tell you, healing doesn't happen by running away from your emotions. It happens by meeting yourself exactly where you are in the messy, raw, unfiltered pain of it all. Your heart is grieving, and that is valid. When we go through a breakup, we're not just mourning the person, we are mourning the future. We envisioned the version of ourselves. We were with them and the safety we felt in their presence. It's a loss and losses need to be acknowledged. So if today you need to cry, scream into a pillow or lie on the floor listening to sad songs on repeat, do it. If you need to be angry, be angry. If you feel numb, let yourself feel numb. Your emotions aren't wrong. They're just proof that you loved that you cared and that you're human. And I promise you. This pain won't last forever. There are two different types of pain when it comes to breakups, and I'm gonna share some of my personal experience here to differentiate between the two. Now, the first kind is for you, if you knew this was coming. You've known for a while now that the writing has been on the wall, that your relationship was not healthy. It was a bit toxic, it was not serving you, and you were sort of losing yourself. You had this inner voice, this truth that kept nudging you internally trying to tell you that this isn't right. This isn't right, this isn't right. But you ignored it and ignored it and ignored it because you don't wanna lose your connection with your partner. Okay. The way we are wired is when we are in love with someone, or when we have developed significant attachment to another human. It is so hard. To walk away from that attachment, even if you know that person isn't good for you. And I experienced this several years ago. I'm gonna keep the details sort of vague because just, yeah, personal reasons. But this was several years ago and I knew for months leading up to the time that. This was not good. It was not leading to a healthy, long-term relationship. And I think part of me started grieving the relationship in a way, like before it had even ended because I knew it was coming. I think we both sort of knew, but that doesn't make it any easier because, uh, how do you say goodbye to someone that you love and just walk away? I think that is, ugh. It makes me sick thinking about it. That is one of the hardest moments is when you are facing each other and you just know it's time to walk away and you literally have to say goodbye, turn yourself around and leave. Or you have to watch them leave and then you're just left with. This love this pain and you dunno what to do with yourself and you feel like a wild animal that wants to literally crawl out of your own skin because the pain of being in your body is insurmountable. It is overwhelming, it is too much, and I have been there in these sort of breakups. The most important thing is that you need to focus on the reasons why you have broken up. Because when a relationship is toxic, when it is not good for you, there are reasons why the relationship isn't working, and you must acknowledge those, you must make yourself so aware of those reasons, because especially in toxic relationships, when we have that sort of trauma bond usually between someone who is anxious and someone who is avoidant that. Kind of connection is very strong in a way where you are going to wanna run back to that person. Now, I'm speaking particularly to my anxious girls and guys, because when we are very anxiously attached before you've done the work to heal it, you seek the majority of your reassurance and soothing and validation comes from your partner because you haven't. Learned the tools to give that self-soothing and validation to yourself as well as your self-worth. It's all something that you seek externally outside of yourself. So when the relationship breaks down, all of a sudden it's like you, you don't know what to do with yourself because that life force that you relied on for so long is no longer there. You're gonna start to experience the pain, and then what's gonna happen is you'll start to forget all of the reasons why the relationship was unhealthy. They just leave your mind and all you remember are the good parts and you start to romanticize, you know, you think back to when you first met and what it was like in those first few months and all of the beautiful parts of your relationship. And you become hyper fixated on that and you just wanna run straight back to your partner. This is something that I experienced in this breakup, this first one I'm talking about years ago. And we didn't get back together, but we came back to each other several times. And, uh, this is the hard thing in the moment. You do it because you just, you are so hungry for that quick fix, that quick relief from the pain, and you think if we can just be together, if I can just be in their presence, this pain will go away. But all it does is fuck you up more. All it does is exacerbate that pain 10 times over because you have to relive. The ending. You get together, maybe you have a night of intense passionate sex and it feels so good, and then the next morning it's broad daylight and you realize, I have to leave. This isn't right. This isn't working, because you've reached that point where the truth, the writing is on the wall, like you just can't ignore it. When you have those moments of wanting to run back to your partner, this is where you need to almost there there's an element of gritting your way through it. I'm just gonna say it. There really is. I remember. I. Countless nights when we had broken up and I'd be in my bed at night just absolutely, I'm not even exaggerating, like riving in pain because it felt so hard to not have him in the bed next to me and to have my person and I just. Every ounce of me wanted to pick up that phone and message him. And a few times I did, but I just knew there had to come a point where I had to literally gr my way through the pain. And it feels like, I mean, I can't, I've never been addicted to drugs or alcohol, so I like a substance addiction. So I don't know, but it feels that way. If I could imagine it, it feels like you are literally having withdrawals because you are, in a way, you are having emotional withdrawals from this person who you were so dependent on and connected to. What you need to do is sit down and write a list of all the reasons why that relationship was not good for you. And I need you to get really specific here. Put aside the rose colored glasses for a moment, and just get real Write a list of. The way they behaved that made you feel unseen, unheard, unsafe, the way they dismissed your feelings, the way you were riddled with anxiety 24 7. The way that when you cried, they told you were being too emotional, too needy, that you were being weak, you were being pathetic. Write that shit down because that is the reality and. The, the sadness you feel, the way that you miss them, that is just the brain's chemical reaction of wanting you to go back to that attachment because it thinks you are literally gonna die without it. But you are not. I promise you, you are not. You need to write this list so that every time you feel that intense urge to run back to them, you read this list and remind yourself. You have to ground yourself into reality, into the facts of the situation. In order for you to heal and to grow, and speaking of growing, if you are someone who is anxiously attached and you have a pattern of being with avoidant people having toxic relationships, you must combine this period of grieving with personal development. You wanna arm yourself with the knowledge and the understanding of why you keep having these types of relationships. And this is exactly what I did with this particular breakup. It was the catalyst for change for me. I had reached just the absolute end of my rope and I, I remember breaking down and I just said, this cannot go on. I cannot go into another relationship like this. It is way too hard, and I just don't think relationships should be this hard. So what the fuck is going on? I had to really have a very honest conversation with myself, and I had to look in the mirror and say, this has gotta be me, because I'm the common denominator here amongst all of these relationships. I'm the common denominator. So it's gotta be a pattern that is stemming from somewhere in my life, in my childhood, in my limiting beliefs and my core wounds. I've gotta figure it out. And I did. I joined a program, a group program, where I was learning about my anxious attachment and how to heal it. I was actively doing the work. I was reading books, I was going through the process. You know, there's a process you've gotta go through. And if you are in this place right now, I need you to ask yourself. How am I going to help myself get through this? The key word being help yourself. Because if you have spent your whole life turning to people outside of yourself to fix your problems and to handle your emotions, then therein lies the problem. We need to start learning how to manage our own emotions, how to self-soothe and how to derive our self-worth. Internally, because it's only then that you are gonna start to see a shift and a change in the types of people you attract in the things that you put up with, the things that you don't put up with, and the type of love you also feel for yourself when the pain of the breakup hits you and it feels insurmountable and you just wanna run back to them to have that instant hit of relief, what you need to ask yourself is what's worse. Is it going through this relatively short term pain and grief to then have an easier, better life on the other side of it? Or having the short term relief of seeing that person for one night and doing that over and over and over again, but then having long-term suffering and pain because you are perpetuating these toxic cycles of relationships. That's really what we need to be looking at and asking ourselves. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, it's going to be painful, it's going to be hard, but your life is going to drastically improve on the other side, if you choose to grit and process the pain of this breakup, what you are really doing when you do this is you are choosing yourself, and I can't tell you how much your life is going to open up when you do this. You'd start to develop a true relationship with yourself when you're willing to look at and face the parts of yourself that you have been avoiding for far too long. And when I did this, oh my God, I went through, I swear, a dark night of the soul because I finally realized through learning about my anxious attachment, that there was actually nothing wrong with me. It wasn't that I was broken, that I was too much, that I was damaged goods. It wasn't that at all. It was just that I was holding these self-limiting beliefs and core wounds from my childhood that were warping my idea of what love was. So I thought that I had to work so hard to earn love. I thought that I had to always chase people. That my emotions were always gonna be too much for people. But it, that's not reality. It's not the facts I should say. It's just that I was using or operating by the wrong blueprint. So once you realize this, your whole world opens up because you realize that having a healthy, secure relationship becomes a choice. It becomes a real possibility, and it's all within your control because a secure, healthy relationship. The foundation of that comes when you have a secure, healthy relationship with yourself and forming that is within your control. So you get to feel excited about your future because you realize you are in the driver's seat. And when this happened, oh my God, my world opened up. I put myself out there so much. I'd moved into a new home in my favorite suburb. I started surfing. I went out and met new girls and like made surfing friends. I joined an outdoor bootcamp. I was letting go of old friendships. I was making new friends. Going all in on my business. And I started to feel, like I'd finally met the real me. And this wouldn't have happened if I didn't allow myself to go through the, the necessary pain to meet her. here's where I really need you to hear me. as much as breakups hurt, they are also one of the most powerful catalysts for transformation you will ever experience. A breakup cracks you open, it strips away the illusions. It forces you to sit with yourself and gives you the opportunity to rebuild in a way that aligns with your higher self. It's truly in. The depths and the wreckage of heartbreak that you get to ask the real raw questions of who am I without this person? What patterns am I repeating? Where did I abandon myself in that relationship? What do I actually need and deserve? And let me tell you my love, when you take this pain. And you turn it into a doorway for deeper self-awareness, self-worth and self-trust. You don't just move on from the breakup, you rise from it. You become stronger, wiser, and more aligned with the love you actually deserve. This isn't about getting over them. This is about getting back to you. So what if instead of seeing this as an ending, you started seeing it as an initiation. A rite of passage into your most powerful, authentic self, because that's exactly what it is. And I know that right now it might not feel like it. You might be thinking, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that sounds nice, but fuck, I just wanna stop feeling like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. And I get it. But trust me when I say this, heartbreak is clearing the path for something greater and one day. You're going to look back at this version of yourself and thank them for holding on, for choosing themselves and rising through the pain instead of letting it consume them. You are not broken, you are becoming, and that that is something to be excited about. Had I not gone through that breakup those years ago, I wouldn't have learn about my attachment style. I wouldn't have done the work to become the secure woman that I am today, and I wouldn't have attracted and gotten into a relationship a few years later with a secure, loving, beautiful man, I wouldn't have had that opportunity, and if I didn't have that new relationship and go on that entire journey, guess what? I wouldn't be here talking to you right now. I wouldn't have an entire business that is run on helping people like yourself heal from anxious attachment and become secure. I wouldn't have a podcast called the Secure Love Club podcast, that's for sure. So I am so grateful that that breakup happened, and I just want you to trust that there is going to be a reason. It may take some time to see it. But there's a reason this breakup is happening for you, not to you, for you. Now I wanna talk about the next type of breakup that I experienced because it was entirely different. This breakup happened from my secure relationship and I sort of didn't see it coming, this is a whole nother type of pain when you do feel a bit blindsided by the breakup. I think looking back now with some hindsight, I think a part of me knew in the, maybe let's say like three months leading up to it that something had changed. Something had shifted and wasn't right, but when the breakup happened, I, I pretty much didn't see it coming. There was a lot of shock. Whereas with the first breakup I was talking about, I had a strong feeling. I knew it was coming and I think. A, a big part of the breakup was my decision, whereas in this second breakup, it wasn't my decision there were valid reasons for why this relationship ended. There was no nastiness. I wasn't betrayed. He didn't do anything to, to hurt me or to break my trust. I mean, I was hurt, but it was a different type of breakup and. In the end, there was some future like life decisions that were going to impact our compatibility and, our alignment in being a couple, you know, this was the kind of breakup where I just had to walk away and I had to accept it. And then this is a, a mountain in itself when you hold so much love for someone. You have so much love in your heart and you are nowhere near done being with this person, but you have to be because they need to walk away for their own reasons. And I remember with this breakup, feeling swallowed by this heartbreak lying on my bedroom floor on so many occasions just. Crying my eyes out and calling my dad. Calling my mom and just saying, why, why is this happening? And, uh, the emotion comes up to me now and like, this was two years ago. This was over two years ago. But an experience like that, you don't forget. You don't forget what that was like. And I have goosebumps on my whole body right now because I remember, and I feel for that version of myself. I, I really feel for her, you know, she didn't expect this kind of pain. And one thing I did, and maybe this will help you, is I said, okay, Mimi. This is gonna be something you have to accept. I know you don't want to, but you have to. And every day you are gonna feel pain. It's not gonna be all day, every day. There's gonna be moments of intensity, and then there's gonna be some moments of subtle relief where you're not crying, you're just. Kind of existing what I told myself, what I would call these moments when the emotion was coming on strong, I would call it little storms, and it kind of helped me in a weird way. It was like, okay, I can feel this little storm is coming. I need to ride the through the storm, and then it's going to pass as the storm always does. Whether I was at work or if I was at home going through this, I would literally lie down on the floor and just let myself cry and be in the fetal position and just move through the pain as long as it needed to until it would pass. And I think going through this process, it allowed me to heal faster than if I was just to suppress it and just to push it all down and numb it because. When you push the pain down, it doesn't go anywhere. It actually just gets stored in your body and it sits there and it sits there, and it's going to come up at another point in time. So the best thing you can do for yourself if you wanna move through this as fast as possible, I. In a healthy way is to allow yourself to process the pain. This is the first tip in navigating your breakup is processing the pain. Riding out those storms, and this is where you really wanna lean on your support network. Who are the people in your life who you love so much, who you feel safe with, whether it's a sister, a brother, a, a family member, a parent, or a really good friend. This is where you lean on your support network and. Make sure you tell them what you need. Some people will wanna come in and fix the problem and take the pain away from you. And they don't mean anything bad by it, it's just they, they're trying to take care of you. But we all know that when you're in this kind of pain, you don't want someone to tell you that it's for the best or positive reasons as to why this happened. When you're in that kind of pain, you just. Make sure you tell your people. I just need you to listen. I just need you to hold me. I just need you to be there for me as I cry and as I talk about this and as I'm navigating this, that is going to help you so much. You don't want to have them be there, but then you snap at them and get really angry at them because they're not saying the right things or doing the right things. So set them up for success by just saying like, this is what I need right now, and allow them to be there for you. The next process or the next step in navigating your breakup is called allowing the dissonance. And what I mean by this is you've gotta accept that. Your identity when you're in a relationship becomes very closely tied to your partner. So when that relationship is taken away, it's going to feel very weird. Not having them by your side, not having that person to, message throughout your day and talk about all the little things that have happened, or to get your morning coffee with or to debrief at the end of your day with or to spend your weekends with. They're not there for that anymore, and it's going to feel weird. There's going to be some dissonance. There's gonna be a time between that version of you and then the new version of you who has come out the other side of this breakup with all of the lessons learned and the the growth that you've experienced. So I find just acknowledging this dissonance and allowing and accepting it does help a bit to ease that discomfort because the more you. Resist it, the more you're going to suffer. Suffering really is when we are arguing with reality, we are resisting what is so if you allow it and acknowledge that, okay, I am not going to have the future I thought I was going to have. And that in itself is really discombobulating. It's, it's very hard, because we spend so much time and we're in a relationship. Projecting this future that we think we're gonna have. We picture getting engaged and then getting married and having a family. And the holidays, you're gonna go on the house, you're gonna live in together. And when that no longer exists, when that future isn't there, you have to rebuild, to figure out who you're going to be in your life and what it's gonna look like. And that feels really confusing and it feels overwhelming. So I just wanna validate that if that's what you are feeling, that is normal. It is expected. It is okay. But you must allow yourself to be in that void for a period of time. You have to let go, to let in. I have a tattoo on my forearm. People always ask me what it says. It says, let go to let in. And this is something that I live by. This is a motto, a mantra I live by in life when it comes to. The ever changing seasons of life with the people we have in our life, the place we live, what we do for work, even just versions of ourselves. We are constantly shedding and evolving, but you must let go of what is no longer serving you or what is no longer available to you. Experience that temporary void in order to let in what is aligned for you and what is going to help you become the next best version of yourself. So allow the dissonance. I. The final step of the process is forging new connections. even if you already have amazing friends and you have family around you, you have a certain sense of community. Forging new connections is going to give you a new lease on life. It's going to give you something new to look forward to, to learn new perspectives, to get to know other people, get to know what they're going through in life. This comes with. Putting yourself out there. I remember when I went through this second breakup, I was like, okay, what's the first thing I wanna do that I can really control? And that was getting my health back on track.'cause I had kind of let my health go a little bit. I. And I knew that feeling strong in my physical body was gonna help me feel strong emotionally and mentally. So there was this new gym that had opened up in Bondi and I, I was like, I want to, I wanna join this gym. So I went and it was a, it was a gym with group classes, which I really recommend. Like if you are someone who's. Into exercise, or maybe you wanna try yoga or Pilates, go where there's group classes because it's sort of like organized play in a way. If you think about it, when you were young and you went to school. You became friends with people so easily because you saw each other on a consistent basis at the same place, like it was just organized for you. When we're adults, we kind of need to find similar things, so I find that going to a gym that has group classes is really good for this because number one, you already have something in common. The exercise, the healthy lifestyle, and number two, you are most likely going to see each other consistently. So there's that opportunity to start building a connection and to have it, develop over weeks, months, or even years. When you are forging new connections, there does come an element of needing to put yourself out there and maybe being the one to go first to expand a connection. So let's say there's a girl. Or a guy, whatever people you are connecting with in, if it's a new gym, you're trying and you see each other every session, you, you get along, you're laughing together. You really like this person. Ask them out for a coffee. I promise you most times, like if you, if you can read social cues well and you can tell you like each other, I highly, highly doubt they're gonna shut you down when you ask them out for coffee or they, maybe they'll ask you out for coffee. it's such a beautiful opportunity to make a new friend, and I personally made amazing new friends when I started at that gym some of who are still my best friends to this day. So really looking at who are you on the other side of this breakup, because nine times out of 10, you are going to be a di, a different person, a different version of yourself. And sometimes that does make you reflect on. The current relationships you have in your life, and are you craving some new connection or you're not really as aligned with certain friends that you used to be as aligned with? Lean into this new chapter and forge new connections to rebuild yourself and your life. Another side tip, which I hadn't actually noted down, but it's important to talk about, is. To set yourself up for success in a breakup, I highly recommend going no contact. Now, this is gonna feel very jarring and scary for a lot of you, but having done it several times, I can tell you that without a doubt, this has been one of the most powerful tools or things that I have done that have helped me heal faster and reconnect with myself and move on. Because if you are staying in contact with your ex, whether you ended on good terms or not. Every time you are in contact, it is like picking that scab and opening the wound to be raw again. That then has to reheal, give yourself at least, at least 90 days to give yourself a chance to heal. It doesn't mean that you'll never talk to this person again, that you can't have another conversation. It just means you have to give yourself a chance to heal. And when I say no contact, I'm talking, you are not following each other on social media. In fact, I recommend blocking each other even if it's temporary, so that you aren't, you aren't tempted. You can't even go and look at their stuff. So if possible, this is what I did with both of my exes. I said, I need to not see anything of yours on social media. So I'm going to block you and I need you to block me. Okay. Because if you are the only one that blocks them, you can easily unblock and look at their stuff. Just don't do it to yourself. You need to set yourself up for success, so go no contact and give yourself a bloody chance. Being at the point in my life where I am now, I can look back on these relationships and. Say with my hand on my heart. In all honesty, they ended for a reason and it was the right thing, even as much as I loved this person and as much as at the time, I didn't feel ready for that relationship to be over. Looking back, I can see why it didn't work out. In the end, I can see why it needed to happen, and I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for all of my breakups. I'm grateful for my heartbreak because not only did each one help me evolve into the next version of myself, but it showed me how deeply I can love how deeply I care for people. And I know that that's how you feel too. You have such a big heart and you have so much love to give, and the pain of the breakup is proof of that. If you can allow yourself to honor this process and be as kind and compassionate with yourself as possible, as you navigate this, you will come out the other side, a more evolved version of yourself. The sun will shine again. You will be happy again, you will look back on this with gratitude, I promise. And if you are someone who went through a breakup a while ago and you still find yourself thinking of your ex, that is okay. Successfully moving on from someone doesn't mean you never think about them again. It doesn't mean you don't reflect on the good times and aren't grateful for that. Of course, you're allowed to do that, but just make sure that you don't make it mean that you should still be with them. Because I'm sure there was a very good reason as to why it ended. And again, make sure you remember those reasons and remind yourself of it so that you can be available and open yourself up to someone who is right for you, who is meant to be your life partner. I. to summarize those tips again for navigating your breakup, number one, process the pain. Navigate those little storms as they come up, and know that you will find moments of comfort and relief in each day, even if it's as small as sipping your morning cup of coffee or having a tea in bed at night and watching your favorite show. You can find little moments of comfort. The second one is allowing the dissonance. Acknowledging that yes, it's going to feel weird for a while. You're going to feel like you're walking around missing a limb, and that's part of the process. It is normal, but we need to let go in order to let in. And then thirdly is forging new connections. Put yourself out there, meet new people, get a new lease on life. Get excited again about. Forging new connections. And the bonus tip, make sure you go no contact for at least 90 days. It is going to help you give yourself a chance to heal and move on without reopening that wound every day or every week. If you're going through a breakup right now, I promise you it's going to get easier. I'm sending you so much love. I'm sending you the biggest hug. Everything is going to be okay. With all that being said, have a beautiful week my friend, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye-bye. If you enjoyed today's episode, hit that subscribe button and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Share this episode with your friends and come find me on social so we can hang out between episodes. All the links are below in the show notes.