Ep #63: From Situationship Loops to Secure Dating - Client Story with Liv!

In this episode, I’m sitting down with one of my past Peacefully Attached clients, Liv, who shares her journey from feeling stuck in repetitive, anxiety-driven dating patterns… to finally experiencing calm, grounded, and secure connection.

From the outside, her life looked full — thriving career, strong friendships, everything “working” — but behind the scenes, her dating life felt like a constant loop of emotionally unavailable men, overthinking, and that underlying sense of unease she couldn’t shake. We talk about the moment everything clicked… when she realised she wasn’t just attracting these dynamics, she was actively participating in them, and how that shift gave her the power to change.

From stepping out of dating entirely and rebuilding safety within herself, to now dating in a way that feels slow, intentional, and aligned… this episode shows what actually happens when you move beyond awareness and start embodying the work. If you’ve ever felt like you keep ending up in the same situation with a different person, this will open your eyes to what’s really going on, and what’s possible instead.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
• What it looks like to be stuck in a situationship loop, and the subtle ways Liv was keeping herself there without realising.
• The moment she realised she was recreating her own dating patterns (and why that changed everything)
• How she went from constant anxiety and overthinking… to feeling calm, grounded, and no longer obsessed with checking her phone!!
• What shifted when she stopped playing games, started speaking up, and saw how differently people responded.
• How stepping out of dating completely became the thing that allowed her to attract healthier, more aligned connections.

🎧 Tune in now! And if this episode resonates, send me a DM on Instagram — I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway.

APPLY FOR PEACEFULLY ATTACHED - ENROLLMENT CLOSES APRIL 30TH 2026: https://www.mimiwatt.com/

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Come say hi 👋 (or DM me your biggest takeaway) on Instagram HERE

Watch the ‘You Are The Problem’ Replay HERE 🎥

Transcript

0:00

You are listening to the Secure Love Club podcast. I'm your host, Mimi Watt. Hey friends. Welcome back to the club. I hope you're having a beautiful day as you are tuning in. I have a few updates. So last week we ran the You Are The Problem Training, and it was such a vibe and such a hit. I think it was my most favorite training that I've ever run. The energy was just on point and the engagement was high, and so many of you who were there live absolutely loved the value that was dropped in that training. It was a true wake up call in the best sense of the word and. You can watch the replay if you couldn't make it live or if you hadn't registered, you can grab the link to the replay in the show notes or in my bio over on Instagram for you are the problem. This is such a powerful training because it really holds a mirror up to you in a way where you get to take radical responsibility for the results that you've been creating in your dating life and. When we take true accountability, 100%, it puts the power back in your hands to realize that, okay, yes. If you have been creating these negative results, you also get to be the one to change the results and do something new. So if you're in that place where you're on the cusp, you're on the Preci person, you're like, yes, give me that wake up call and ready for an activation, then you are gonna love watching that training. Now second announcement is drum roll. We have officially opened the doors for the eighth intake of peacefully attached my signature three month group program, and I wanna let you know because. Believe it or not, spots have already filled and they're not gonna last long. And I'm just beyond excited to be welcoming in the next round of incredible women into peacefully attached we are, as I'm recording this, it is early April, 2026 and the next intake is starting 25th of May, 2026, so not too far away, and it's going to be, I feel the most powerful, potent. Round yet because there's some new material coming into the program that is just going to rock your world and change the way you are showing up in the world in such a tangible way that, ugh, like, I can't even, don't get me started. Don't get me on a round ball because it's, it's gonna take over this entire podcast. Just know that the doors are open and you can apply to join us via the link in the show notes. Peacefully attached is really that space for you. If you are the woman who has already started doing some of the work on yourself when it comes to your relationship patterns, you're aware of your attachment style, you know why certain things are happening, and you have this awareness that's grown, but you're now at this place where. It feels that you dunno what to do with that awareness and you are ready to have tangible steps to implement. You're ready to get the tools so that you can not just know about your patterns and know about what it might look like to be that securely attached woman who is a match for a healthy relationship, but to actually embody that version. Of yourself. It's a very intimate group container. It is powerful, it is potent. There is so much support and guidance and I would love to have you in there if you feel that this is your time, if you have any questions at all about the program. If it's right for you, just send me a DM on Instagram. I'm in there every day having conversations with people about it, and I'm happy to answer all of your questions. Or if you already know you are going to snapshot one of those spots, then hit the link in the bio, submit your application, and I will read through it personally and read out to you. Now for today's episode, I'm very excited because I Interviewed one of my past peacefully attached clients, Liv, and I just know you are going to froth on this episode because Liv shares so openly and vulnerably about where she was at before starting to work with me, and a lot of the both tangible and intangible. Shifts and changes that she really has experienced and is still experiencing as a result of the work we do inside the program. I know that it's gonna resonate with so many of you and give you a really deep insight into what this work looks and feels like and what's possible for you on the other side of it. So get ready to tune in and soak up all of the goodness that is inside this episode. Woo. All right, my friends. Let's dive in. Liv, welcome to the Secure Love Club podcast. I am beyond excited to have you on. How are you feeling today? So good. Thank you for having me mi. Oh, my pleasure. I was, very excited to ask you on, because I, first of all, I mean, I just love you as a human, but I love your energy and your vibe and I feel like you really embody the type of woman who I love to call into work with. As you just mentioned before, you are like that high achiever. You are that ambitious woman. You know, you're not afraid to put yourself out there and to, to do the work and to lean in and. I guess the results you've had from that of doing this work really speak for themselves. So I wanted to get you on today to just have a chat and have a conversation about your journey of working with myself and going through peacefully attached. And just to share with everyone listening like what your life was like before doing this work and what the journey has really been like, because I think it can be so helpful for someone who's considering doing this work and wanting to have. They wanna see like a, they wanna feel an inside story of what's it really like. And just to find some resonance in that. So, to kick us off, why don't you introduce yourself and you can just tell everyone your name, where you're from and. Then we'll just talk a little bit about what life looked like for you before we started working together.'cause it's been a little while now that we've you've been in my orbit. Yeah. It's been like over, I over Is it a year now, maybe or? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I mean, look, yeah, my name's Liv. I'm from Melbourne. I guess before working with you, as you said Yeah, I was a high achiever. I'd done quite a lot of deep. Like personal development. But from the outside, I guess my life looked great. I thrived in my career. I have amazing friendships. I was close to my family, like everything was working except my relationships. And I kept finding myself in the same situations, dating for a couple months and then getting into situ trips, and attracting the same types of people. And yeah, all of them had the same traits. And I just felt like I was in a loop that I couldn't really break. And there was just always a sense of uneasiness I felt with dating. Like just a, like a feeling of just not feeling safe. And yeah, there was just something that I, I couldn't, I didn't have the tools I suppose to, to get me where I wanted to, to go. And I was actually attempting, seeing psychologists back and forth, and none of them could really pinpoint the type of work that I wanted, because. You know, on the surface I was a fully functioning human. Like I didn't have deep depression. It's actually funny. I had to do a mental healthcare plan to you know, get all my sessions and everything, and the doctor had to lie and say, oh, you know, we'll just, we'll just say you've got really bad anxiety or something to like, we just so stuffed up, but just fudge those numbers on the test, just fudge them a bit. And then I was like, okay. So I had a couple of sessions and yeah, this lady gave me the book attached. And then it was so crazy'cause look, I wasn't really vibing her and I could tell I wasn't gonna get another session.'cause with psychologists, as you know, you can, you can't speak from, they can't speak from their own personal experience. So it's all quite clinical and you're just constantly just pouring your heart and soul out. And they're like, all right, we'll see you next week for another hour of that. And I was like, this is crap. Like I'm not getting anywhere. And then, yeah, I read the book attached, which she kindly gave me. So that was probably the best thing that came out of those sessions with my psychologist. And then I listened to a podcast. And guess who was on it? You. And you were just preaching the book and I just felt like I literally just finished it and the next day I found the podcast with you on it and I was like, look, this is universe, this is God. This is a higher power. Who is this sheer? Let's check her out. And then I guess started following you on Instagram and you hadn't launched piece three attached yet. You were posting content though, which I was vibing with. And then once you post it, I was like, this is amazing. This is everything I've wanted. Like these are the tools I wanna learn. And yeah, just all sort of started from there. Oh my gosh, I love that. I love when the stars align like that. And things just present themselves at the right time if you are open to seeing them, which it sounds like you were. And there's a few things I wanna like touch on from what everything you've just shared. What stuck out to me just then was you said that the, when you're seeing a therapist, they can't share their personal experiences. So it sounds like there's that, uh, that lack of maybe relatability. And so like, how important was that for you in feeling seen and like being able to take that step to, to work on yourself and or invest in yourself in a program like having that resonance? It just changed the playing field because you know you're not gonna open up to someone unless you feel safe, right. In so many different ways. So I found myself constantly bringing these questions to her, and it was just all sort of brought back to me in a roundabout way. There were no actual tools and, I'm high on personal development and I, I, I want an action plan. Like, let's get shit done. It. It wasn't like that at all. It was like, oh, let's just simmer on this. We'll talk about this next week. Like. I was ready to do the work and hit the ground running, and I just wasn't really getting that. But yeah, definitely not feeling safe enough to really open up Pandora's Box with someone that is not gonna give you the tools either. It's like, where is this sort of going? It just, there was just nothing tangible about it for me anyway. Yeah. Got you. Okay. So you were ready to, you wanted like a, a step by step, give me the tools, tell me how to implement, like you're, you've got that awareness building, but you wanted to know how to really move forward in a productive way. Yeah, like I knew, well, you know, I knew somewhat why I operated the way I did, but now what? Yep, yep. Which is, I think the question in so many women's minds, so many women that I speak to are in that boat where they're like, yeah, how do I actually change now that I have this awareness? So really cool to hear that. That's the, the missing piece that clicked into place for you when you found my work. Can we go back for a moment to what you said before? You said I, I was always dating this, these guys that had the same qualities, the same characteristics. What were some of those qualities that guys you used to be attracted to would have, you know, they'd all be handsome but emotionally unavailable? Um, cold, just poor communication, and. It's funny because each and every single one of them, it was the same quality is just a different person. Like I would just switch between them all and just be constantly on a feedback loop. I'd either abandon the situation first so I wasn't abandoned, or I'd abandoned myself trying to prove my worth. So then I am abandoned. So this theme of abandonment, which I've carried, throughout. A lot of inner child work I've done with, being left alone a lot, emotionally and my parents not really being there. It's just, yeah, that was the main thing for me, and I was just so sick of it. I'm like, all right, I'm done. Like, we need to, we need to change it. Like, if you're aware of it, you can change it. Yes. Yes. I always say awareness creates choices and when you have that, you get to decide what you're gonna do with it. And I remember that being quite a big theme for you when we were working together and doing that was that sense of abandonment that was coming up. And I love what you just said around you could see that you were choosing people like you were either jumping ship and abandoning first, so you wouldn't get hurt or you would. Almost like you were choosing these people subconsciously, that you could sense weren't gonna be there for, you, weren't gonna show up for you the way you needed to prove this belief to be true of like, see, I'm always abandoned. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm always, I was recreating that dynamic. My brain was in this feedback loop. I was, I was constantly searching for it. And I think that's like, honestly, out of the, our course, like the course with peacefully attached, that's the main thing. Like my main big key takeaway was I am the one actually orchestrating all of this shit. It is not happening to me. I am the one. And that for me just changed everything. I was like, whoa, mind blown. I'm like, holy shit, Liv. You can actually, you've been doing this this whole time. These people aren't coming into your life. You're actually selecting this dynamic. You're reliving this just to put yourself through pain. What the fuck are you doing? Amen. Amen. It's exactly it. People always say to me, I just keep attracting these people. I keep attracting these emotionally unavailable people, and I'm like, look, emotionally unavailable, people are going to come into your world whether you are. Anxious, or you're the most secure person, but it's about if you can spot them and then how you choose to engage or not engage with those people. Right? So it's like you are selecting them if they're, they're coming into your orbit, but it's about are you choosing to go down that path again and again and again. Or not. So I love that you just said that and it's, it's such a powerful and important quality in being able to actually change is taking that radical responsibility and fully, fully fucking owning that you are the one creating these results. And I really see that in you. Like you took that responsibility and there's so much power that comes from, from that realization when you were back in that place. What did you, what were some of the thoughts going through your mind of what you believed was possible for you when it comes to love? Like before doing this work, what were some of those common thoughts that would come through that? It's just always gotta be a struggle and it's just gotta be this, big sense of like having to prove yourself. It can't come easy as well. That's a big thing. And you actually did a podcast about this not long ago, I think, about being addicted to the struggle. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, that was, that's been a really big, that was a really big thing for me prior. But just always thinking that it had to be a game as well. The texting for beauty for looking, as you see my story, the posting a pick on instead, you know, get the validation. Just, yeah, just cheap dopamine that is just not keeping you in. This just really like ugly addictive cycle. And yeah, when it starts to change how you move, throughout your day, like, I used to hate being at work and just like constantly looking at my phone going, you know, is he gonna message, is he gonna message? Or being at a family event and going, isn't fucking replied for two hours. What the hell, what am I gonna do? Catastrophizing everything as well. Just thinking, well, that's it, you know, I'm, I'm done. Just because, he didn't leave an X and a message back to me. I've like completely planned my exit strategy. The, the catastrophizing, like I was a really Yeah. Big advocate for then. Yeah. It's that, that sense of hyper vigilance of every little detail, you were just scanning and scanning for that sense of threat or danger or Yeah. To prove that belief, as you said before, to be true of like, see, it's not gonna work out. See, I'm gonna be abandoned. How did that. How was that impacting you when you were in that state? How was that impacting you day to day? It wasn't peaceful attached. I was, I was just, I felt crap. I honestly just felt this high anxiety all the time, but also still being, a really great friend. Amazing in my career, like still juggling all those personalities, but still having that underlying feeling of just uneasiness. Mm-hmm. Like it just, I've mentally just, it wasn't nice and not that anyone would know. I'm the type of girl that just keeps or bodily. And if I've got a, if I had a problem with any of the guys, I just wouldn't speak up and communicate anything, which probably could have saved me so much time and despair if I just would've communicated. Let's touch on that for a second because that is such a common struggle for so many women. And it used to be for myself as well, when it comes to communication and speaking up about how you actually feel or something that you want, or something that you need. What was your experience with that prior? How did you feel about speaking up? What was the fears that stopped you? Well, we always would just speak with subliminal messages, like, you know, I feel like that's what you do, especially if you're paired with another emotionally like immature person. You're both not gonna communicate. I would just leave like ultimatums, like we'd go out for dinner or if I was dating someone, and then I would just, give a kiss on the cheek, not on the lips, because he didn't message me the right way. Half an hour prior to that. Like, I would leave little messages like that, or I would just not reply for two days and then come back like, just all the games that got you. Absolutely nowhere. Yeah. It's like always trying to one up the other person. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like you actually forget the point, do you actually like this person or are you just trying to win this game? Mm. And that was something I feel like I, I'd done for years, like leading up to working with you. I just wanted to play the game. Like I didn't even probably like the person deep down. I knew that it wasn't really going anywhere, but I just wanted to play this game. Why, what was it giving you? The, the feeling of being chosen or like, haha, I won or I'm worthy. Mm. And then that feeling of feeling chosen, worthy, did that last long? No, not at all. Just waited for the next person. It's like next, next it was, yeah. So bad. Yeah, it's, um, it's a very real thing and I think when we have that anxious attachment background, we are so used to outsourcing our worth to other people, and we're reliant on wanting that external validation to feel chosen. And it is like a drug. It's like you get a hit and then you need the next hit, and you need the next hit. And that often, right, is like what's feeding into this perpetual pattern of like you just keep chasing the wrong people because you're looking for that same, dare I say, like toxic dynamic. And then it also influences you not choosing or pursuing people who actually are healthy and emotionally available and they're. They're there, right? Like they actually want to be consistent for you. So before you'd done a lot of this healing work, did you ever meet guys that you could sense were actually really good guys, but you didn't want to go there or you found it boring or like you just Absolutely. Interest? Absolutely. There were definitely, some really good guys that I probably disregarded because I didn't get that spike of dopamine or that, anxiety inducing feeling in my stomach, which I thought was, chemistry. But really it was just a red flag. Yeah, there definitely were guys that I, I've overlooked. But in saying that, I don't think I was ready at the time, but what they were doing was holding a mirror up to me and forcing me to really do that in a work. And I think we do that with people. Like, you know, if we meet a person, it's not aligned. It's not, it's not because you're not good enough or, it's got anything to do with you personally. It's, they actually might not be ready to. To join you on the level that you are currently at, and that's okay. So I think that's what it was like when I was meeting these really, you know, probably really good guys. I just wasn't ready and I wasn't at that level yet. That is so powerful and I'm so glad you said that. It's, it's so true. You'll always. You always be given or you always receive what you're a match for or what you're ready for. And yeah, it doesn't mean that you're not worthy of a great relationship. It just means that maybe you weren't ready to receive it at that point in time. It's really well put. So can you pinpoint a certain time or like what was it that finally made you, make that internal decision of I really want things to change. I don't want this to be my reality in the future. I think when I started working with you, it would've been around a time I just stopped. Like I just stopped a situationship and I actually had an altercation with seeing a family member go through a really toxic dynamic and I'd been the one in her corner going, you know, I think you should, seek some help. I don't think this guy's really healthy for you. Here I am though in the background also going through my. Silly thing. Um, and the penny just dropped. I was like, this is it. Like, I'm so sick of feeling this way. I need to practice what I preach. I've got so many amazing things in my life. But there was a sense of I don't need a man, I want a man, I want a relationship. And I think when you're on that sort of frequency, you move a bit differently. And obviously stepping into your thirties, which I knew was near approaching'cause I would've been 29 when I signed up to work with you. I just wanted to do it properly. I think I was just sick and tired of Yeah. Feeling sick and tired. I feel like there's this real energy shift that happens when you go into your thirties or your early thirties. I, I feel like I'm even experiencing it too in different ways at the moment where you just get to this point where you're just like, what was I doing all that time? Like, you just really want to take care of yourself in so many different ways and prioritize. Your wellbeing, like physically, mentally, emotionally, private health insurance, like, you know, trying to get the best premiums, like everything, like the type of milk you drink, like, it's just, it's a lot. Oh my God. But I think 30, like since I've turned 30, life's been amazing. But I think doing that work prior with you, it really set myself up for when I did enter this error to hit the ground running. Yeah, so let's talk about that when you, when we started doing this work together, because. I remember when we, we were kind of getting into it, and then you reached this point where you realized, you were like, I don't think I wanna be dating. And it's so funny because I see this happen all the time. Like my clients come in, they're like, I just, you know, I really want that healthy, secure relationship. And I'm like, yeah, amazing. And then a few months in, or they. What the fuck? Like I, why do I feel nothing I like, don't wanna date. Like, yeah. That happens because you start to feel safe and good within yourself when you realize you were just chasing something to fill a void and then that void kind of starts to feel naturally. Can you talk about that experience? Absolutely. I think that was like my unbothered error. Like I, you know, I tried the whole like,'cause. You know, let's try and date multiple people at once. Tried that. Then I got to a point, it was probably after my birthday actually, we would've been working with each other for maybe four months, five months. And then I hit a point where I'm like, I'm good. Like I think I just need to, I would just wanna relish in this. And then I was like, you know what? I'm actually done with dating altogether. I went celibate, eight months, no dating, went to South America, was just traveling, left, right, and center. And it's funny, when you're on that frequency, the amount of people that flock to you, like I had, I was like, whoa, sorry. I'm not interested. I'm not looking to date at all. Not even fun, like not even smart casual. I just did not want anything. And I've loved that era, like it's been so just freeing and I can't even explain it. Just like that level of security within myself and just like that feeling of that safeness. Which I didn't have prior to working with you. Just unmatched. It's such a good place to be. It's, I love that. My unbothered era. And it's so true. It's what they always say. When you're not looking for it, people just, yeah. They flock you. And I think there is something to that. Like people can really feel this energetic frequency within you when you are not. Hunting for that person. You're not looking and trying to find someone. You're literally just doing you, and it's so attractive. I think people just, you know, it sounds like you're just swatting, swatting them away like flies. So I love that for you. There was also a time though when I was not good and the energy I was putting out was that I don't need anyone, but I really want someone, and that was deterring people from actually approaching me. Yeah. What do you think you were, talk about that a little bit more. Well, I've like, it was so funny. I caught up with a friend who I've known for like over a decade and their best friend who's known me in and out of social events and whatnot. Like, we don't really know each other personally. He's just like, Liv, I just thought you were always in a relationship or you were good. Like, that's just the energy that you put out there. Like you just didn't need anyone. And, which is so funny'cause internally at that time I did really want someone. And the fact that I was putting that energy out there, I probably had a resting bitch face, like no one coming to me nobody approached me. And looking back and really looking at how I was probably navigating rooms and circles and the way I was presenting myself, I get it. Like I understand the energy and that's definitely what I was putting out there. Why do you think you were putting that out there? Like when deep down you did want a relationship, why do you think you were putting off that energy of like, don't come to me. Self-defense mechanism scared. I was just scared. And I think most people, if you are running from a level of insecurity, it can come off as standoffish, cold, non-community communicative. Which I thought was sexy and mysterious. But really it was just insecurity.'cause I would also go for guys with that, those similar traits. Now when I peel back the LA with myself, I realize they were just as scared as you were. Oh, you just said a whole lot right there. That is so true. So, so true. And that's, it's such a good way to put it like that standoffish energy. I feel like you can sense that in guys or in in people in general, and that can create such a sense of allure when you are still in that cycle of attract or choosing. People who you can sense are emotionally unavailable. It is that it is that standoffish that you can kind of tell they're, they're like trying to be a bit slick a bit. Mm, too. And it's just cool. Yeah, it's too cool, too cool. Get weird, get geeky, make a joke. There's nothing sex vibe that can just be himself. But even now,'cause obviously you still get those guys or those types of people trying to approach you. It's just such a turn off for me now and I don't think I, I thought when I first started your course, I'm like, I can't wait. Just to be like not attracted to the type of guys I have been. And after doing all the work now when I do get those guys coming in, I just swap them like flyers. I'm like, no. Like I'm good. Thank you. Move on. And that's when the also another big aha moment. I was like, yay, I've done the work like this. This is no longer getting my juices flowing. Like I don't want a bar of it. To the left, like I'm good. Yeah, a hundred percent. It does become like that. It's like you, it's not that you're trying to resist these people, you're just, something in your physiology just changes and you're like, I just don't find that attractive anymore. Mm-hmm. And what a relief. Mm-hmm. When you said before you were closed off, but deep down you wanted a relationship and then you went into like your unbothered era, and then what do you think changed for you recently? Because you are dating at the moment. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. So what do you think shifted for you like coming out of that unbothered era that maybe opened your energy and. Attracted in someone new. I think the time off was really, really needed. I needed to just regroup and figure out, all right, what are we doing here? What do we want? What are we calling in? Which I love in peacefully attached, like you actually write down the qualities you want in a person and you go deep within yourself so you can actually manifest and put that out there. But yeah, I just realized once I got back. This year I was with a girlfriend in, um, Brazil for New Year's, and we both said to each other, you know, like, what's your goal this year? And mom's to fall in love. And obviously that's not something that I can actually forced to happen. Like you can't make that happen. But I can align my actions and I can put in the work to be open for that to come in. So, yeah, since I got back, it's just been. Let's just give it a go. Let's just fuck around and find out. Yeah. And so talk to me about how dating is feeling now in comparison to how it used to be feeling and what are some of the, the tangible differences and results that you are feeling and experiencing. I think the emotional regulation for me is like what stand out for like the last few months. I don't feel like on edge, I'm a lot calmer. I'm much more selective as well with who I'm dating. I'm just going slower as well, which I've never really experienced that before. Usually everything's really love bombing and high anxiety. Yeah, I don't know. Just, it just seems so much more peaceful. Mm. And what type of person or people are you selecting now? People that can clearly communicate, uh, emotionally aware, people that are grounded and. People that I feel safe with. I'm also not checking in with the qualities of them per se, but also how I feel when I'm in their presence. And that's something that I never really looked at previously to doing the work with you. I was always, what's their qualities? Or how can I match this? Or it's now dropping into my body and realizing how do I feel when I'm around them? So that for me has been like a life changer is just. Yeah, seeing how I operate, can I go to work for a whole day and not feel an edge or am I constantly looking at my phone? There's really none of that anymore, which is crazy'cause compared to what I was like before. Um, yeah. I'm so happy for you that that is now how you're feeling and your reality. It's just. It really is life changing. And so now, when it comes to communication, if you ever need to speak up or talk about how you're feeling, what's that experience like now and how is that being received? Mm. I mean, it's still scary. There's still parts of me that, want to hesitate, but I think,'cause I've got the tools, now I can do it. Ever since I've been more vulnerable and opening up lately, like it's just been, it's been working so much in my favor, and if it's gonna scare anyone away, it's gonna scare the wrong person away. And each time I do it, I feel like I'm just flexing a muscle and it just gives me more of that confidence and, yeah. Yeah. And how has it been received when you have spoken up recently? Yeah. Really good. Believe it or not. Yeah. But, but like, you know, it's funny'cause it's, yeah, it's all about relationships. But even in like a professional setting, even in my, you know, friendships in how I show up for others, this work's not just helped me in a dating scenario, has helped me in so many ways. What has it done for you at work and in your friendships? The more I understand myself, the more I can understand others and the more I can connect with others. So I feel like I maybe disregarded a few people or a few scenarios with peop like situations with people where I've just shrugged things off or looked at the emotion, but haven't really tried to dig a bit deeper and really understand the person. And I think, yeah, I've just been able to connect with people a lot better. Mm, which is no surprise, right? The more you, yeah. The deeper you go with yourself, the deeper you can go with other people, and that just bleeds into all relationships. And it just means you can go deeper and deeper and build, better bonds with people. And I love what you said about the fact that you still get nervous. You still get the fears that come up around communication, which is to be expected. Because when you've spent your whole life. Not using your voice because you're stuck in this state of fear. It's gonna take some time to, to unravel that fear and make it become your default. That speaking up is just what you do, and you don't really overthink it and you don't, you're not afraid of it because you've done it so much and you've created a reality where the people you have in your life are the types of people who. Value, vulnerability, and they value communication. So it just becomes like your standard across the board. But when you are, as you said, still flexing that muscle, the fear's gonna be there. It's to be expected. But what I see in you now is the ability to move with that fear and. Let it be there. But then use the tools around how to communicate and how to regulate your nervous system before going into those conversations. And to do it from a really grounded place of like you know your worth and you are worthy of being heard and expressing yourself. And if that person can't hold space for you or can't hear you, or want to understand. There's that shift now I see where it's like, it's not a reflection that, oh shit, I shouldn't have spoken up and I am too much. It's, oh, you just actually aren't a match for me if you're not willing to go there. Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and dropping in and doing the inner child work and being able to separate yourself into parts going, all right. You are triggered here because of this. We're gonna walk through this. Yeah. Sort her out, and then when she's ready to come back into the room, bring her in. I think that's been a really big game changer as well in all the healing work that we've done.'cause you know, I can, I can have someone just say in a work sitting screaming at me on the other end of the phone'cause something's happened and you just wonder, did you get love and affection as a young little boy? Or what happened? Like, you know, what happened there? Like, I'm more curious now and I don't like, I'm not quick to judge and. And blast back or, match the emotion. I can just stop myself from my tracks, take a deep breath and go nothing personal, like it's all good. It's gonna be okay. Hmm. That's so powerful to be in that place and to be less reactive to things that maybe would've triggered you in the past and just be able to respond from such a grounded place. I feel like it just puts you ahead in life in so many ways. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, so good. So looking back on the work that we've done together, what would you say was maybe some of the more challenging parts but also the most important to you? The most impactful? I think understanding the blueprint, which I think you get us to do in like the first module, is really like breaking down why we operate and move the way we do. And looking at the traits of our parents, all the qualities that we have attracted in from, recent partners. That to me was like profound. And then obviously, yeah, being able to drop in and really go back to those times and really revisit those places and those really uncomfortable, memories. That's definitely been, as you know, my hardest. My hardest work is dropping into that, that inner child, that little live, and it's a never ending thing. I think self development, personal development, I'll be doing it till the day I die. I think we all should be. But yeah, it's helped me and shaped me in so many ways. Thank you for sharing that. It's, um, yeah, it's, it's so special to me to have this relationship with you and see how far you've come because I know there were some really challenging moments when we went deep into some of that, heavier stuff, that childhood stuff, and it's not easy work and it does require you to be vulnerable and to be open-minded. And it's, it's not always easy or comfortable, but I really commend you for going there and doing it because you only, the results you're gonna get are gonna match the willingness you have to go into the work openly. If you could speak to the version of you who. Maybe was scared to say yes to getting that support or hesitating on really investing in yourself back then, what would you say to her now knowing what you know and being where you are? I would just probably say to her like, this suffering can be over a lot quicker if you just wanna like roll up your sleeves and do the work. Like the quick fix is a quick dopamine here. It's like it's gonna get you nowhere. So it's, yeah, just. Pack your bag, let's go. Like you can, you can do it. But look, I understand like doing this work, it's not easy and not everyone does it either. There are a lot of unhealed people running around, running the world, number one. Yeah. Getting into relationships. But yeah, I would just tell myself it's, it's okay. You have, like we have such an amazing support system. All the women I've met throughout, peacefully attached as well. Like it's so beautiful. I still follow Lisa on Instagram. It's so good to see her thriving. Oh yeah. I love that. Yeah, it's, it's definitely not a scary place at all. It's so welcoming and it's honestly nothing I've ever experienced and I don't know that there's anything else really out there like this either. Oh, that makes me so happy to hear your experience and yeah, that. Just quickly to touch on like what that that group space is like, because I know that there are some women listening who want to do this work, but they can maybe feel a little bit intimidated about going into a group space or there's some fear of of actually being vulnerable and speaking up in front of other women. So can you talk about what your experience was like being in that group space and Yeah. What it was like and what it did for you as well. I think it actually fast tracks the healing even more when you're able to be vulnerable in front of other people that you have, like you don't know.'cause think about it. If you're going out there in the dating world, you're also gonna have to do the same thing. You're not gonna know the other person. So if you're gonna do it with a selected group of women that are also going through the same things that you are going through, it's a bit of a no-brainer. Like it's, it's only gonna benefit you. Can be a bit scary, but I think there's always one that starts and then, you know, the second person speaks and the third person speaks and it's like, oh, we're all friends by the end of it. Yeah, but it's like amazing the stories you hear as well. Like it really opens your brain up to having a bit of compassion for how someone else might actually see something, can understanding a different point of view. I found that really, really good as well, like hearing how someone else's experience. Dating or what they've been through. I find human behavior quite interesting. Anyway, so just hearing other people's stories and sharing, it's, yeah, it's pretty special. Yeah, I think that's a really valuable part is like hearing not only you're learning from each other's experiences, you're learning from what other people are going through. Watching them get coached, but also. It's like you get answers to questions maybe you didn't know you even needed or had, and there's so much healing done in group spaces because I think that sense of. Resonating with each other and being like, oh my God, you, you relate, you understand what I'm going through and you are going through it too, and I'm not alone. And I think when we have that sense of, we feel seen and validated by people, it allows us to remove some of the shame that maybe we have been feeling around our patterns and like, why can't I change? Or why have I been like this for so long? And. You realize there's nothing wrong with you, it's just some, it's just conditioning that can be changed. And when you're not alone, it's such a liberating experience, which is why I love the group space, so I'm really glad it was that experience for you. for the woman who's listening who. Is wanting to step into peacefully touched and be supported and do this work, but she's hesitating or she's a bit scared to make the investment into herself. What would you say to that woman? Just do it. You're not gonna feel any worse from doing it. You're gonna feel amazing for doing it. Like there is honestly, like what do you have to lose? Like there's, you've got nothing to lose. We're always constantly searching on Instagram or TikTok for certain videos to try and relate to, to try and, you know, when you, you find that one video and you replay it five times, you're like, oh, it's speaking to my soul. That's what doing this course is. Yeah. Well, Liv, is there any, anything else you wanna share? Anything else you wanna say before we close out this conversation? Honestly, just thank you. Like thank you so much for all the work you're doing and. Yeah, I'm excited to just, yeah, keep you on my orbit for as long as I can. This work that we've done together has honestly changed my life and I wouldn't be where I am right now without you. So, yeah, just can't thank you enough. Oh, thank you, Liv. It's my absolute pleasure and thank you so much for coming on today and sharing your story. I know women listening are going to get so much out of relating to what you've shared and seeing how far you've come. It gives a lot of hope and inspiration to so many women. So thank you again for being here. My pleasure. Bye If you enjoyed today's episode, hit that subscribe button and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Share this episode with your friends and come find me on social so we can hang out between episodes. 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