Ep #68: From Fake Tan Addiction And Insecurity to Radical Self-Acceptance With Belle Christina

In this episode, I’m joined by the incredible Belle Christina — a beauty content creator who is leading powerful conversations around confidence, self-acceptance, and embracing your natural skin.

This is a deeply personal one for me, because we’re diving into something I’ve struggled with for most of my life: a dependency on fake tan, and the insecurity that sat underneath it. What started as a habit in my teenage years became something that quietly controlled my confidence, my routines, and even how I showed up in relationships.

Belle was actually a huge part of my journey in breaking free from this. I found her content years ago when I was first trying to quit… and in this conversation, we unpack both of our experiences — from where this insecurity began, to the moment everything shifted, to what it actually takes to let go of something that once felt like a “non-negotiable” for your confidence.

This episode isn’t just about fake tan. It’s about any insecurity, habit, or identity you feel dependent on to feel good enough… and what becomes possible when you finally release it. If you’ve ever felt like you need something external to feel confident, beautiful, or worthy — this conversation is going to open your eyes in the best way.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
• How seemingly “small” insecurities can quietly control your confidence, decisions, and identity
• Why your insecurities often aren’t actually yours — and how they’re shaped by your environment and conditioning
• The moment Belle realised she could change her mind — and how that shifted everything
• Practical ways to break free from habits you feel dependent on (without going cold turkey)
• How to build real, grounded confidence by embracing your natural self — not masking it

🎧 Tune in now! And if this episode resonates, send me a DM on Instagram — I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway.

CONNECT WITH BELLE!
IG: https://www.instagram.com/code2confidence/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bellexchristina

MIMI SOCIAL MEDIA
Come say hi 👋 (or DM me your biggest takeaway) on Instagram HERE!

Transcript

0:52

You are listening to the Secure Love Club podcast. I'm your host, Mimi Watt. Hey friends. Welcome back to the Club. I am so excited for today's episode. I feel like I say that on every episode, but Lokey, I am so excited for today's episode because I just got off recording with our guest, who is Belle? And Belle is a beauty content creator who shares. Honest, empowering conversations around skin, self-confidence and embracing your natural beauty. Unlearning beauty standards that make us feel like we need to hide and instead becoming the ingredient to loving your natural skin. Bell's aim is to help people feel more comfortable, confident, and at home in their own skin, particularly. Without fake tan. Now, if you have been following along my podcast episodes and even on Instagram, I've spoken about this a little bit. I have been on a personal journey of quitting fake tan, a habit that has been or has had a hold over me. I'm gonna say, for most of my adult life, probably since I was 14 or 15 years old, and I'm now 31. And this has been something I've been trying to give up. And Bell has been a huge inspiration for me in being able to quit fake tan and embrace my natural skin. As you'll hear when we dive into this episode, I first found Bell's content back in 2022 when I was. First attempting to give up fake tan, and she had been through this exact journey and was speaking about it on TikTok, and I was so elated that there was someone speaking so openly and vulnerably about what this is really like when you have this insecurity around having fair skin and feeling like you need to cover it up because of the beauty standards and the conditioning of the specific environment that you live in. Now, bell is from the uk. I'm obviously from Australia and actually in both of these countries there is a high fake tan culture. There is a beauty standard of wanting to look bronzed and tan all the time, and so when you are not that, when you don't fit that beauty standard, it can be really challenging and it can bring about. All sorts of insecurities. So in this conversation today, we are getting really vulnerable and very real. I share very transparently about what this insecurity has been like for me and now what it is like having come out the other side and truly having embraced and fallen in love with my authentic self and my natural skin. And Bell is truly just. A ball of energy and such a magnetic person. You can just feel her passion for this topic oozing out of her in this conversation and in her content, which I will link her Instagram and TikTok pages in the show notes below so that you can check her out. But if you have ever struggled with. Any sort of insecurity, any sort of crutch that you feel like you have to depend on in order to feel confident and beautiful within yourself, and you're at a place in your life where you just want to be rid of this insecurity and you want to break free from it, you are going to love this episode. It is so empowering and. Bell and I discussed some really tangible steps to take as well to break free from not just this insecurity but other insecurities as well. So enjoy this incredible conversation. welcome to the Secure Love Club podcast. I am so, so incredibly excited to have you on. I feel like our energy is just actually electric right now for reasons which we will get into, but I know it's so early for you in the morning over in the uk, but how are you feeling? I feel amazing. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me on. Oh, it's my absolute pleasure. So for our listeners, this is quite a, I feel like this is quite a niche topic that we are delving into today. Yeah. However. It does have a very broad application no pun intended. Um, it's a very broad application to I think a lot of women and some of the struggles that we face as women when it comes to beauty standards and how we feel about ourselves. Mm-hmm. And how we present ourselves to the world. And okay, before we go into all of it, how about you introduce yourself, tell everyone your name, where you are from, and what you are all about. Yeah, so my name's Bell. I am in London and I create content online, all based around confidence in your natural self and really finding confidence within and moving past your insecurities and coming to a secure place within yourself to sort of radiate a different energy that you had before. You know, and just really. That's, that's the content I create and I, I love it. Yeah. And you really do radiate that confidence. Thank you. Like you are radiating that glow in your energy and also just in your, your vibe, your appearance, your skin, all of it. For context, I came across Bell's TikTok. It's actually been a long time now. Mm-hmm. I came, sure. TikTok back in, I think, I'm gonna say 2022. Wow. Was that when you started your TikTok? Wow. That's crazy. And it really makes me reminisce back because I actually didn't start creating this content, but we, we moved into it and yeah, it was probably around then. Yeah. I, uh, came across your TikTok content mm-hmm. At a time in my life when I was absolutely fed up with fake tanning. Okay. Yeah. People who don't fake tan may not resonate with this. People who do will absolutely resonate. But just think about this as like anything that you have had a dependency on or a crutch on to feel good about yourself and almost to the point where you feel like you need that thing in order to feel any shred of confidence. And so this was what was going on for me. So I had a fake tan, let's say a fake tan addiction since I was probably like. 14 or 15 years old, which started with being bullied in high school for being, you know, like pasty and just all sorts of names were called. Especially growing up in Australia where the beauty standard is to have like bronze skin. And so I started fake tanning and it became like a Thursday weekly ritual, and it basically controlled me like I, yeah. I didn't feel like I had control over this habit. It was something I felt a victim of and it would be these like extreme highs and lows right of every week when I would fake tan. I'd feel amazing on like the Friday and the following couple of days, and then as the tam would start to wear off, I'd start to feel less and less confident and worse about myself. I reached this point where I feel like I just had this meltdown and I was like, I can't do this anymore. Like I need to get, I need to break free from this habit. And so I started like researching. I started looking on TikTok and there was you beautiful Belle and your TikTok came up and it was all about quitting fake tan and feeling radiant and beautiful in your natural skin. And I was just like, thank the Lord that you exist and that you are creating this content because. I had not seen content out there like talking about this because, I think there's a lot of shame associated with this. And I know for me, I often found it really hard to talk about because I had this fear that other people would find it really trivial and be like. Are you serious? Like why do you care so much or no one even cares? Or it's so superficial and so I would hide this insecurity. And also I didn't wanna draw attention to it. So to hear you talking about this and sharing so openly your journey and seeing the confidence you were having with your natural skin was such an inspiration for me, and it's been a continued source of inspiration over the last few years, which we'll get into more in a moment. Can you take us back to what your relationship with Fake Tan was like when that dependency started for you? What role did it play for you in your life before you got to the point of quitting? Yeah. Yeah, so I, I think this whole thing was inspired from. That the, our insecurities are not us. And at the time it felt like it was, and I was so insecure in school and I'm sure so many people can relate to that, just feeling so insecure about yourself to the point you, you wanna cover up your skin, you wanna put heavy excess makeup on, you know, you are, you are just so insecure. And it really was that throughout my whole school experience. Going into uni as well. It really stemmed from that. And I, the moment I changed my mind was the moment I realized that you can actually change your mind. And it blew my mind because I didn't think that was possible, because, I just felt insecure my whole life to the point where I used to cry on holiday and I didn't want anyone to see me, you know? And it was so intense. So to have my mind changed and I saw that physically within myself, the confidence. I actually felt it and I didn't think that was possible. So that's really where I got inspired to speak on it because I saw that change and then I saw other people coming to that realization as well that they can really change their mind and it can become something that you really love. So that that was the changing point. So for you, what was it about, like where did that insecurity stem from? You said it's not yours, it comes from someone else or somewhere else. So for you, growing up in the uk, I believe there's quite a heavy fake tan culture over there, but was there any sort of negative, nasty comments that were said to you? Or was it just that you were in an environment where it was normalized to change your skin if you were pale? Definitely the environment. Definitely the environment. I think our environment has such an impact on our beliefs and what we believe is beautiful and the beauty standards that we're around. And I think that is completely what transforms our beliefs growing up and it, it can create insecurities, it can create confidence depending on how you're looking at it or how you feel you fit into the beauty standard. So it felt really intense because I felt that I wasn't on that side of the beauty standard and in school everyone wanted to be tan. So it was the cool thing to, to be that. And because I didn't have that naturally, I felt really. And I think a lot of people will be able to relate to having an insecurity and feeling like the odd one out, it really impacts your confidence growing up, especially in that young age. Okay. So it was really the environment factor for you and. What you said about being on the other side of that norm or that beauty standard. Oh, I just relate to that so much. I remember when growing up and being in like teenager and early twenties and all that, my sister and I, 'cause she was the same, we would both constantly say to each other, oh, like it's just so unfair. Why do some people get to look this way or have this skin or whatever, and other people don't. And as I'm saying this. how this may come across, and I obviously understand there's a lot of privilege that comes with being a white woman in, in this day and age, in this life, but that aside, wherever you are in the world, whatever your life journey is, there's always some sort of beauty standard in your reality that you feel the need to. Be a part of. Yeah. And if you're not, it's can be so isolating and so hard, like it can really consume you on a day-to-day basis. So I feel like we are on the same page here with how this was feeling for us. And before you had this change, what was your relationship with Fake Tan like? Like was it similar to mine where it felt like you didn't have any control over it or? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. It felt I couldn't go out without it. It felt, I, I was really in a cycle of, every day, every Thursday f tanning and it was re, it was, I was really stuck to it and I would even, put more layers on. More layers on. And what you just touched on as well, I think it is really about embracing what you have naturally, whatever that is. It's so important to form that love with who you are and do you know what I mean? Because it really transforms everything. And in that moment of being so insecure, you just don't think it's possible. So it literally was the cycle of fake tanning, the cycle of fake tanning. And even on holiday, I would fake tan for holiday and I would feel so much shame around. Looking different. It really affected my confidence in every way. Did you ever feel like, so I had, I would have this experience where the fake 10 almost gave me this false sense of competence, because I'd have it on, I'd thought, I'd think, okay, I look better. I feel better. But there was always this element of when I was around other people. There was this voice in the back of my mind that was like, oh, I don't want you to see the real me. Yes. Or you can only see me in this version and I'm terrified of what you might think of me. Or you'll see me in my natural state and be like, oh, like is that what you look like? Yes. Which is so awful, but like, did you ever feel that way? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. It was so prominent, and I felt it specifically around the topic of dating as well, because I, I really felt that I was almost showing up as a person that I wasn't. So I had that sort of guilt around, you know, this isn't the real me, but this is, how I'm masking it, and it really felt. That I was just completely masking myself and yeah, it was a lot. I relate so much with the dating. Aspect of this. Yeah. I remember feeling the same way. Just everyone I'd get into a relationship with, there was always this, I always felt on edge. 'cause I was like, ugh, I just, you can only see me this one way. And it was awful because that dictates your sense of freedom. It dictates when you think or believe you, you are free to just go and see them on a whim or I remember for me. I hated any sort of spontaneity because this routine controlled me. So every plan, it had to be on a certain day when I decided, and if it wasn't a good day for the fake tan, then I felt like I couldn't say yes to things or be with my partner at the time. And I hated that feeling. So yeah, it's wild. So you had this moment where something clicked and you said, I just get to change my mind. Mm-hmm. When did this happen? Take us back to literally what was going on in your life that made you have this epiphany and Yeah. How did that happen? Yeah, yeah. So someone said to me, at the right time, they said. Why do you want to look like everyone else? And in that moment, you know when someone says something to you that really hits in the moment you needed it in that time. And if they said it at any other time, you wouldn't have clicked the same. But it really made me think, yeah, it made me consciously think, wow, what, what is it about being different that I don't like? And made me question my beliefs. And then I sort of had this. Power come over me and I thought, I'm gonna, I'm gonna find a way to just get over this because it's taking over my life. And when you are so attached to an insecurity, again, like you said, it completely takes over your routines what you wanna do if you are going out. So it was really that moment when I realized we can literally change our mind. And that can have such an impact on how we feel. And it was really the belief system behind it, which is why I am so consciously talking about belief systems because I think that is really where it stems from. And it made me question in that moment. I love what you said about how it was in the right moment that that person said that to you and. It's true. People can be saying all the things we need to hear throughout our life, but if we are not ready to receive it and truly receive it, it won't impact us and we won't feel that change. I relate to what you're saying because I had an experience like that just recently, a couple of months ago. So for context, since I first found your TikTok back in, I think 2022, around then. I have tried to give up fake tan, I'm gonna say three or four times, and I've done it for, I'm gonna say like six months at a time or four months where I did stop wearing it. But I do recall that every time I did that, I still felt quite deeply insecure. I had moments of feeling good, but there was a lot of insecurity still, and there was a lot of discomfort. Then just recently, I feel like I was getting to that, that boiling point again where this wouldn't leave my mind. You know when something just keeps niggling at you, it keeps niggling at you. And I had this voice, I'm like, this is blocking you in more ways than one. Like this insecurity is holding you back big time. And it kept being there. I'm like, oh my God, I can't ignore this. I have to, I have to confront this. I'd been doing like a lot of nervous system regulation to feel safer in my body. But then I went to my therapist and we were talking, we're having a conversation about some stuff around business and growth and life and all of this. And then I said to her, I was like, wait, there's also like this one other thing that I feel like I need to tell you. And I basically told her about this fake tan problem and how I felt like it was affecting me, and we're having this back and forth conversation, and I'm saying to her, I get that if I give this up, I will get to be authentic. And that's a beautiful thing. That's great. However, what I feel is that I'll be authentic, but I'll be ugly. And so it's like you can't have both. It has to be one or the other. And I'm saying this to her and then. I just had this full on epiphany, light bulb moment. I don't know what happened. I just had this download where I was like, wait, wait, who am I even living for? Who am I even doing this for? Like, am I truly doing this for me or am I just doing it for other people while I'm the one suffering from this, I can actually change my mind, like you said, bell, and I was like, I can change my mind and I can decide. What my beauty standard is going to be like. What if I get to decide that and then I get to just live in that? And the people who it's for, it's for the people who it's not, it's not, I don't have to change their mind. I have to convince them otherwise. And I left that session like my brain chemistry had seriously altered. So I feel like I get what you're saying when you have that moment and something just fucking clicks in your brain. Yeah. No joke. I was looking at your content even more since then because I was like, okay, I need like all the inspiration girlfriend. I haven't looked back. I have not looked back. I feel amazing. Yes. I like gave my fake tan to my sister who's still fake tans. I was like, yeah, take it. Take it all. I don't want it. I don't need it. And just. I have just been pouring into my natural skin and just really starting to see myself in such a different way. And I want to get into some of the nitty gritty of what that looks like. But what was your experience? So you had that pivot, and then what did your journey look like of actually going off it? Did you just have this cold Turkey moment or did you wean off it? What was it like and did you have any slip ups or things like that? Yeah. Yeah. No, that's such a good question and I love your energy around this 'cause that's exactly how I felt. I think it was mainly when I had this epiphany, again, what I told you when that person said something to me and it really made me question, I had the motivation to try and when I first started I thought, hm. Okay. How do we quit habits that are not serving us, that are feeding our insecurities? How do, how do I quit that? You know, how do I just stop? And the thing is, with cold Turkey, with any habit, I, I just think it, it's more difficult because you are completely stopping and there's no sort of in between. So. I found it really useful to wean off, and I did this over a certain amount of time. It, it took maybe a week, two weeks. Truly. That's not long at all. No, not long. And I was really trying to consciously do this. I was doing loads of things that were just. We're just so consciously trying, it was, in my head, it was the seed was planted. I was like, I'm getting over this because I don't wanna live my life, attached to this insecurity because it's affecting me in so many ways. And I even thought, I don't wanna, obviously I'm knowing now having kids, but I, I thought to myself, I don't wanna. Be this insecurity on my children, you know? Oh my God, yes. You know what I mean? Like you think of your inner childhood Yes. And you think back and you're like, wow, if I saw my inner child, I would not want her to feel insecure about herself. She's beautiful. You know, I don't want her to have that. So it really that planted the seed as well. I had her in my mind and I was weaning off. And it really became, I became comfortable with it because I so naturally was weaning off and, and it, it became natural and I got to the point where I didn't even, I didn't even need to grab the tan because I'd gradually done it. So I didn't even really see the change, if that makes sense. And it was a process of like, really. Slowly becoming comfortable and becoming comfortable with each stage that, sent me back to my natural self. And yeah, the inner child was really a big point for me. I, that was really like, it drove me from a, a higher purpose, if that makes sense of why I wanted to actually do it. Yeah, I think there's something big behind that when. We have almost, yeah, a higher purpose or a reason bigger than ourselves can be a really powerful motivating factor. And I had the same thoughts I thought, I don't want, if I have a daughter, I would hate to pass this insecurity onto her. And what if she is really fair skinned and then she sees me? Covering that skin every week, she's gonna absorb that and think, oh, that's what mom does. I need to do that. And so she's gonna start. And I just couldn't bear the thought of that. So that was definitely very powerful for me as well. And also, this is, this is a bit like superficial, but I remember having these sorts where I was like, I don't want to. Be pregnant and worrying about having to fake tan or trying to fake tan or be pregnant, not being able to fake tan and then feeling ugly in my body. I was like, fuck that. I wanna get to a place where I feel like a radiant queen, and so when I'm pregnant, we're having a baby. I just feel like myself and I can feel beautiful in my own way, and I don't have to worry about all that drama. I relate to that so much, and I think it really is about finding a new love within yourself and being securely attached with it. Because the thing is, I, I really realized over this whole process that when we're attached to that insecurity, it, it really. We're not attracting the people who naturally find us. Do you know what I mean? It's like where you really feel like you are masking behind something. Yes. And when you embrace your natural skin, you form more of a secure attachment with yourself that you know, the people who are right for you will find you attractive. But in the moment of deep insecurity, you really do feel unattractive. So it was really coming to the conclusion that. Well, the right people will find me anyway, and it is really uncomfortable because you are, you are trying so hard to be accepted and trying to be liked by keeping up with the routines and, topping up the insecurity almost. And then when you are free of that, you feel so, you feel like you've put a weight down because. You can finally be yourself and that attracts the people to you anyway. And what I've noticed is I'm not less attractive. Like it really, I felt like I was, but I'm just attracting the people now who actually find me attractive for me. You know? And that's even more magnetic than before. It really makes a difference. It really does. And you know, I. Attraction is such a funny thing. It's, I think we have this idea in our heads. Obviously we're conditioned by a society that we need to meet a certain criteria, have a certain body shape, skin color, hair type, whatever, to be attractive and to be hot. However, when I think about people I've been attracted to in my life, they rarely fit that cookie cutter. Look, there's usually something about them that's a bit unusual or something in just in their energy. I can't quite pinpoint it, but I'm like, damn, you're attractive. Yeah. And it's a culmination of things. It might be something about their look, but it could be the way that they carry themselves when they walk across a room or the way they speak and use their voice or just their energy or something, and you're like, whoa. Especially when people are just being their authentic selves, I think there is nothing sexier than that. That was something that I thought about. I'm like, okay, wait. If I feel like that about other people and I've been attracted to plenty of people who are pale as anything, I actually can see people who pale and think, you're so beautiful. You're so attractive. So why am I not giving myself the same credit? Yeah. And I think with the dating thing, I've also felt that shift where. There's almost so much more excitement about being out in life and in dating and all this stuff because you're like, yeah, this is just me. This is who I am. And it's almost like the deeper the connections get or the more the attraction builds, like the better it gets, the better it gets, the better it gets because you're just being seen for who you really are and you're not hiding behind any sort of mask. And yeah, it's so liberating. It's so liberating. It's so liberating, so liberating. You feel free. You feel, you feel just, ah, it is amazing because you, you are just not bound to the insecurity anymore and you feel so free. And even if the thing is. No one could pay me to fake tan. Now, I, you literally couldn't, you couldn't pay me because I'm not even joking. And I've had, I've even had fake tan. Randolph is, and I'm like, she's trying to trip me up. I'm not doing that. Don't tempt me. Tempt us. Yeah. Oh my God, I love that so much. And have you thought about if you get married one day and you have a wedding, is, would you do a little fake tan or would you be like, no, I'm going natural. Oh, no, no, no. We're going natural for the wedding. Yeah. I think that was also on my mind was like. In the future I was thinking of my future self and I was thinking, I really don't wanna be bound to this on holiday and, for example, wedding. And I really don't wanna feel bound to it, and I can so resonate with people who feel the insecurity because it's such a real thing when you are so used to masking behind something and it really is. Like it's an, it's attachment to that thing that makes you feel confident, but it really gave me inspiration to think of the colors I can wear and the way I can make it my new look. And I can radiate a different confidence than before. That was giving me the inspiration, thinking about how I can make it my new look, make it elegant, make it. Feel comfortable in standing out in my difference, if that makes sense. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. I get it. And it's, yeah, it's like creating your new normal, your look that is entirely yours that you own and that no one can take away from you. And it's not gonna fade after five days. It's who you are. And. What were some of the things that really started to boost your confidence and help you in finding and creating this new style? I heard you just mention colors, so I wanna talk about your exploration into that, because I think I saw you say in one of your videos that your whole wardrobe used to be like all beige and things like that. Um. I am similar in that so much of my wardrobe is literally black and white. I've got a bit of navy blue, but I wanna explore with more colors and see how that changes, how I feel about myself. So colors and then, where were you finding inspiration? What was really lifting you up? The thing that changed it all for me was. Looking at other people because when you look at other people that look like you, you are having that representation right in front of your eyes and you can't miss it. And when I was just overcoming this, the insecurity, I had a picture on my screensaver of a girl who looked like me. And you might think that sounds weird, but in the moment it really helps. Because it was really putting that in front of my eyes. And then what I realized was on my main Instagram account, I was really having people on my feed who look nothing like me. And of course, it's amazing to embrace everyone and highlight everyone's beauty, but in the depth of your insecurity. I think it is important to also have those people. Who do look like you because it, it gives you that inspiration for clothes, for makeup, for, outfits. It, it really does put a different perspective in front of your eyes and you can see, wow, they look beautiful. I can look beautiful too, and it really inspired me with the colors because again, like you said, I was just wearing nudes, black, nude, white. That was it. That was my whole wardrobe, specifically nudes, because when I was tanned, I loved a nude. It made me feel, you know, everyone was doing a contrast. Yeah. It made me feel really comfortable because that was kind of the trend and I was fitting into that and it, yeah, just embracing different colors and finding your color. So important because it will make you feel so confident when you put put on color and you're just, you're just different. And even the fact that it's different to what you are used to. It feels uncomfortable to start with and then you realize that you can radiate a different confidence than you had before because you're not trying to get the same confidence. It's creating a new confidence, that is actually authentic this time. That's so interesting. Do you mean you're not trying to create the same confidence that you got from when you were fake tanning? Yeah, because I think that can trip us up when we're trying to recreate the same confidence that we had before and trying to feel you know when you do your makeup, when you've just quit fake tan or you are used to putting a different shade on, or, or you know, you are, you are completely changing the routine. And when I put on my actual shade at the start, it felt so uncomfortable because it was so different. And I was thinking, well, I'm not trying to do my makeup the same as when I was tanned because I'm not, but we can think it needs to look the same. I need to look as beautiful, but this is a whole different beauty. This is now authentic, so it's gonna feel different, but you can make it different in the best way, a hundred percent. It's really a really nice reframe, actually, even for me now, to receive that because I think I did very much have this idea that I needed to recreate, yeah, the level of attraction or beauty or whatever that I saw in myself from when I had the tan. I need to recreate that now, but I like that perspective shift of it doesn't have to be the same. It gets to be. New and diff. It's a different type of beautiful, it's a different type of attraction, and when it is authentic, it's so much more radiant and magnetic. Did you, I think it's been a, it's been a while for you now since you gave it up, but in those early stages, or maybe now, I don't know. Don't, I don't think so, but maybe, did you ever have days where that old insecurity would creep back in and you would, that new identity or that new way you saw yourself would kind of wobble and you'd be like, oh God, wait. Am I actually attractive with my pale skin? Um, uh, like, or, or did that ever come up? And if so, how did you navigate that and what did it feel like? Yeah, it's interesting you say that because it was the comments that I was worried about, you know what I mean? Because mm-hmm. After looking a certain way for so long, we get used to it and people around us get used to it too. So it was really that uncomfortability of what are people gonna think though, because. The comments was a really, it made me cringe, you know, because I, I was, I found that so uncomfortable and I did get comments and it was, oh, you are looking a bit Ill, you look a bit gaunt, you look ill. And I thought to myself, Hmm, how can I respond to this? Because in the depths of the insecurity, we almost have a, a natural reaction. To, to it, it feeds that ugly feeling, and what I found was to be conscious enough to think, okay, people will only talk from their own beliefs and if it's been an insecurity for them too, or it's been programmed into us, that pal skin, is gaunt and looks, ill that is gonna be something that people maybe mention, if they're mm-hmm. If they're having one of those days. And it just, it really made me reconsider how to respond to it this time instead of react to it. And it, and then it really changed my mind because I could see it for what it was and I thought. Yeah, well, I'm embracing this, and it, it just changed my mind to sort of have a response rather than a reaction because we can so easily. Get brought back to that insecurity because of what people think. But it's changing it for you, changing the belief for you because when it's changed for you, it doesn't even exist in your reality that that could be a possibility. It is just that you are living a new reality 'cause you've decided that no, it's beautiful. So you can think that. We've got a different belief over here now, you know? Yes. I love it. I love it. Yeah. People will only speak from their beliefs, so good. So what would you say if someone made a comment on your skin, in a negative way? How would you kind of come back at it? Yeah, yeah. I, I would just say thank you. Thank you. Oh my God, I love it. I just said thank you. Yeah, because it really is like. There's nothing really else to it. And it used to make me, you know, I would go and cry about it because it really impacted my confidence. But when you realize like, thank you, but that doesn't have to be the truth for me, then it opens you up because you can hear it, but you're not ingesting. That belief, you know what I mean? You don't have to believe it yourself. So, it was really like doing a lot of work on just feeling secure in my choice and what I decided. And I think when we change our belief for ourself, it's actually really hard for other people to change. Your, because you also anger in, in that decision for yourself. So it's hard. It's hard because your initial reaction is to, you don't wanna look ill, you don't wanna look ugly or, but. Yeah, I just said thank you. And now I look back, I'm like, oh, you, you had some, some balls to come back with these comebacks. But I was literally just saying thank you, because that's how I felt at the time. That's a power move right there. Thank you. And nothing else. Imagine how confused the other person would be. They'd be like, but I wasn't giving you a compliment. Okay. What the fuck? Yeah. It's so true. It's like when you don't believe something to be true anymore and someone gives that projection to you coming through their own belief and the way they see the world, it's like water off a duck's back. It just glides over you. You're like me, right? We only have a reaction when we still believe that thing that they've said to be true. Mm-hmm. And I remember I'm having this flashback to when I was living in Bali. This was one of the chapters of my life where I did give up fake tan because it's like impossible to keep up a routine in Bali. It's so fucking hot. And I was like, whatever, this is worth it. I don't know anyone here. I'm just gonna be myself. Anyway, I was at the, I was down at the beach one morning with a friend of mine who happens to be very tanned, and so I stood out like a sore thumb. Everyone in Bali is pretty much tan. We were sitting there having coffee and this guy who I loosely knew through Bali, he was, had been at the beach and he walked up to us and to say hello, and then he made a comment. He looked at me and made a comment and he was like, geez, girl, like so white, like you need to get a, he was like, have you been moon bathing or something Like, you need to get a tan and. My, my friend who I was with, she knew about this insecurity, so she, I was a bit gobsmacked. I was like, like I didn't know how to come back at it. And she stepped in and she was like, yeah, doesn't she look beautiful? And then he felt really bad and he was like, oh yeah, I'm just saying, oh, like, didn't know how to come back at it. But I always, I think back to that moment a lot and I think about, what would I say? If I was in that situation again and it, it probably would be something similar to Thank you. It would be like, oh, thank you. I know. I love it. Isn't it beautiful? Yeah. Isn't it so unique? I love it. Right? Because when you come back at someone like that, they're gonna be like, yeah, oh yeah it is. You know? Yes. So it's such a powerful, I love that it's just really standing so firm in your own beliefs about yourself and knowing that people are gonna have projections. 'cause we can't control how other people control how other people are gonna see us or what they believe or what they think. And so we just need to let that wash over ourselves. Let's talk briefly about oil slugging girlfriend because oil slugging. Yeah. This is such a game changer. People listening are probably like, what the hell is oil slugging? I, when I told my sister about this, she was like, that is a dirty name. I don't get it. So tell everyone what oil sucking is and what made you start it, Well the idea was based around the fact that I, my skin was so dry after this insecurity and constantly fake tanning for years and years and years. My skin was so dry, so to, to create a new habit, I thought what a great idea to sort of romanticize my routine 'cause this is another thing. When you're trying to overcome a habit, you need to replace it with something, right? 'cause if you don't, it's like you are so used to doing that. It, it really, it, it impacts you more when you don't have that routine anymore. So instead of deleting the routine. I romanticize the routine, but this time we're gonna do it for our natural skin and we're gonna make it fun. Yes. And we're gonna make it beautiful and we're gonna feel radiant when we're in bed. We're not gonna be, coated in, in something that's not me. This time we're gonna be nourishing what I actually have. So I started experimenting with using different oils on my skin and I would really just seek moisture rather than covering it up, so while I was before, you know that tiger bread you have and it's so dry on your skin, it gets stuck in your pos. Yeah, and I felt like every time I took my tan off, I felt. My goodness, my skin is so ugly because it's not, it's not right. It's dry, it's got this strawberry skin. So I've really been a long time trying to find. Oils and moisturizing and really just like bringing your skin barrier back to its normal state. And I think it's important that we romanticize routines for our natural skin because our natural skin deserves love too. We need to show love to our natural self, and that's the way I did it through romanticizing my routine for moisture rather than, covering myself up. Yeah, I had a similar feeling when I. Fully ditched it not too long ago, but I had this strong desire come over me where I was like, I wanna nourish my skin. I want to love it. I wanna moisturize it. I mean, I, I'm, I've moisturized for as long as I can remember. I would moisturize after every shower, like full body. So that's, or that was already normalized for me. I was watching your content and I'm seeing your skin was just on another level with the glow that it has and how nourished and moisturized it looked, and I'm seeing you do stuff with oil on your body. I'm like, what is she doing? And then I see you talk about oil slugging and I'm seeing it pop up more and more. And I said, you a voice note. I'm like, tell me what this is and how you do this. And the thing that surprised me the most was that you said. Yeah, so you're putting, you're using different like nourishing oils on your skin, but you do it when you are wet, like straight out of the shower. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I personally found that really hard to wrap my head around because I was imagining being really wet. So I was like, okay, first of all, how is the oil going to soak in? I don't get it. And also, aren't you just gonna feel really slippery and oily and that kind of. Scared me because I was like, I don't wanna feel like that when I'm getting into my bed. But you kept saying, you're like, no, trust me. Trust me. It soaks in, it soaks in. You just have to try it. So I tried it and I am obsessed with this routine. It is amazing how much the oil actually does soak into your skin. It doesn't feel super sticky and oh my God, my skin has never been softer. Right, right. I tell it, honey, my skin is like a baby's bottom. Oh my God. And also the complexion. Yes, yes. It makes you smooth. It makes you, there's something about having really moisturized skin to the point where you're trapping the moisture in your skin. It makes your skin like all one, rather than like really dry. 'cause I have really dry skin and it was, I had same, I had really irritated red legs and the little bumps that you get, the little, the strawberry skin. And I get comments even now saying that this is what's happening and we need to be moisturized, moisturizing our skin. Guys, we need to be moisturizing our skin because with oil, yes, yes, yes, yes. And trapping the moisture in because your skin barrier is everything. It really creates more confidence in yourself when you actually feel like you have a different glow. Again, it's part of looking different is, having that extra glow glowing from the inside, and it's really radiating that confidence. You are not covering it because it's healthy and you feel soft and you feel nourished and you are in bed with the clean sheets and you are all like smooth. Soft. It just feels so nice. No more stain sheets. Yes. Yes. Me too. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. It actually makes me want to get my skin out on display now. Yes. As I'm like proud of it, I'm like, look how smooth it is. Look how like glowy it is. And a past version of me or my best friends will tell you like, I was so insecure about my legs and having my legs. Out in short, because I feel like your legs are just the widest part of your body. Yes. And so I was really insecure about it, but now I'm like, get the pins out like this. Just, I don't know what it is. It's just the confidence. It just feels so good. But yeah, it really, um, the oil sucking, I, I've already noticed a big difference in. The way my skin looks, as you mentioned, it looks a lot more, even the complexion looks even so soft and I like look forward to doing the oil slugging every night. Yeah, I remember you were saying it's, the oil is like a sealant, so it actually pushes the water, the excess water that's still on your body, like pushes it into your skin, locks in the moisture. Yeah, exactly. And what you just said there is exactly why it's important because you're just creating a new routine. It's about the new routine, whatever feels comfortable to you in a new routine that actually makes you feel good. Whether that's like putting a face mask on, having a nice skincare routine or just the little things you can do, like putting some nice pajamas on when you are feeling comfortable and confident and you've got your new routine, and it doesn't have to be anything crazy, just those little subtle things that are still. Looking after your skin, you still have a routine. 'cause when you just delete the routine, you feel like, oh, I'm not putting effort into my looks now so even if you just have that little thing that you do, it really helps to wean off. That the moment between and you are just coming off the insecurity to sort of replace it with something that serves you this time. And did you learn much of this from your grandma? Because people, people listening, Belle's, grandma, her skin is like nothing I've ever seen before. Yeah, I know. It is incredible. It's incredible. And I've always looked up to her for skincare advice, for makeup, advice for, she's got the most beautiful skin and she's also got the most beautiful energy, which is why I talk about as well, it's really about. Radiating from within she introduced me to the slugging technique. She said, I was behind with the times I need to get with it. She, she told me all of this and, and I just thought it was so funny. And also just looking at her skin, how she's also fair because, a lot of the time our family members obviously look like us. So it's almost like looking up teon. Family members as well and thinking, wow, when you get older you can kind of see it for what it is and you can see their beauty and you can see how you are from this family line. Let's embrace it. And I think looking at her and how she embraces it, I looked up to that as well. And I thought, wow, like her skin's amazing. And at that point as well, deep in the insecurity, I thought I wanna have. Good skin. I wanna make my skin juicy. I wanna make it, plump. I don't wanna have dry skin because even my face skin, I was putting face tanners on. Yeah. And the tanners I didn't realize have so many bad ingredients. The tanners, the face tanners especially. You think that buying a face tan is gonna be better than putting fake tan on your face. But actually it's got really, drying ingredients in. So it was about moving from dry ingredients to ingredients that actually serve your skin. And yeah, she was definitely, and it is inspiration for me, Belle shares a lot of content with her grandma on her Instagram, so we'll make sure we link that so you guys can check it out. You really are just such a source fit of inspiration and I'm so happy when I see your content because we need more people like you out there challenging these beauty standards and challenging these ways of conditioning that so many people are victim to and to. I think by you showing up as boldly as you do what you're doing is like you're really giving other people permission to step into their authentic selves and to not do it from a place of. Oh, I guess I just have to do this. But to do it from a place of this is exciting and this is gonna expand your life, and it opens up a whole new realm and possibility for how you can feel and what you can experience, and just how you can ripple that energy out to people around you. So I personally am so grateful that you are creating this content, and I love that you've stuck with it for all this time. You've grown a lot and you are impacting so many people, and how does it feel for you to be spreading this out into the world? I love it. I love it. And do you know what I, when people, sometimes people come up to me. Like in public and they say, I'm not wearing my fake tan because of you today. And I'm like, ah, I love that. Oh my god. Yeah, because when you see people embracing their natural beauty and I know how it feels so when people feel like that and they get it as well, I love that because it feels so liberating and that's what really keeps me going. 'cause I know how you can really be insecure about it. Ah, embracing your natural skin, like you said, it really opens you up, and I love seeing other people doing it. And when they send me pictures before, after, I love seeing that as well because they've got a different confident glow. And when people comment and say, I feel so much better, I feel amazing. I feel a different sense of confidence. I love that because it's, it radiates really, truly. It must be so rewarding it's like one big positive feedback loop. It just keeps feeding into it. Feeding into it. So thank you for putting that out into the world and thank you for coming on here. And I've loved this conversation so much. Just I feel like the energy is just like going crazy, but we're clearly both very passionate. Yeah. Is there anything that you haven't said that you wanted to say or share before we wrap up? I just wanna encourage people to challenge their beliefs because I think it's such an important thing and we can be so drowned by our. Our beliefs of what is not even ours. So that's why I really wanna encourage people to challenge what they've been told, challenge what they feel. Because a lot of the time these insecurities that we have are not ours. It's just what we've picked up. And that I feel like when you start there. You can really open up your mind and when you open up your mind, you can see Clara, and actually experience it. So if I can say anything else, it would be that. Definitely challenge your beliefs and what you've been told. Amen. Oh, well I love it. So good. I'm gonna leave the links for you guys to check out Belle's content on Instagram, TikTok in the show notes. Make sure you go check her out and give her a follow. She's just the absolute best. And Belle, thank you for taking the time to be on here today. Thank you so much. If you enjoyed today's episode, hit that subscribe button and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Share this episode with your friends and come find me on social so we can hang out between episodes. All the links are below in the show notes.