Ep #65: From Heartbreak to Getting Her Spark Back - Client Story with Zala!

In this episode, I’m sitting down with one of my Peacefully Attached clients, Zala, who shares her journey from feeling heartbroken and stuck after a breakup… to getting her spark back and dating with confidence and self-trust.

When she first came to me, it wasn’t just the breakup — it was the deeper fear that she’d never find the love she truly wanted. Old patterns were back in full force… anxious attachment, emotionally unavailable partners, and slowly abandoning herself to keep things going. Even with years of self-awareness, she still felt stuck, like nothing was actually changing.

We talk about the shift that moved her out of that; learning how to regulate her emotions, rebuild safety within herself, and finally start trusting herself again. Now, she’s dating in a completely different way — clear, grounded, and no longer chasing or overthinking. The spark she thought she’d lost? It’s back. This episode is a reminder that just because you feel broken right now… doesn’t mean you stay there.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
• What heartbreak can bring up beneath the surface, and why it often reactivates old attachment patterns
• How Zala moved from feeling stuck and defeated… to rebuilding her confidence and sense of self
• Why awareness alone wasn’t enough and the piece that actually helped her create change
• What it looks like to get your spark back and date from a place of self-trust, clarity, and emotional safety

🎧 Tune in now! And if this episode resonates, send me a DM on Instagram — I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway.

APPLY FOR PEACEFULLY ATTACHED - ENROLLMENT CLOSES APRIL 30TH 2026: https://www.mimiwatt.com/

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Come say hi 👋 (or DM me your biggest takeaway) on Instagram HERE!

Watch the ‘You Are The Problem’ Replay: https://www.mimiwatt.com/you-are-the-problem-replay-opt-in-landing-page 

Transcript

0:00

You are listening to the Secure Love Club podcast. I'm your host, Mimi Watt. Hey friends. Welcome back to the club. Today's episode is one of those conversations where you are probably going to hear a lot of yourself in it, especially if you've ever found yourself stuck in that cycle in dating of overgiving. Overthinking and trying to make something work with someone who just can't meet you there, i'm sitting down with one of my peacefully touched clients, ZLA, who joined the program not long after a breakup that hit pretty hard. She thought that this band was going to be the one, she thought he was the love of her life, even though there were some misalignments in that relationship and. It hit her really hard, not just because it ended, but because it felt familiar. She had this moment of thinking, Ugh, why is this happening again? It's the same patterns, it's the same anxious attachment, and the same dynamic of shrinking herself to keep the relationship going even when she knew better, and what we get into in this episode is the shift she made out of that. Not just understanding her patterns, but actually changing how she shows up in dating. We talk about what it looks like to stop waiting to be chosen and start truly choosing. For yourself, how she learned to regulate her nervous system instead of spiraling in it, and how that's allowed her to follow through on her standards, not just set them. And honestly, you're gonna hear this in the way that she speaks about dating. Now there's more calm, there's more clarity, more self trust, and she just has her spark back. And you're going to hear that when you listen to her talk about her experience. You know, all of this did not happen by accident. Zla is someone who really gave it her absolute all. When she joined, peacefully attached, she was not one foot in, one foot out. She was a full body. Yes, I am doing this. And her results reflect that commitment. So if you are someone who feels like you've done the work, you have a pretty good understanding of your patterns, but in the moment you still default back into old behaviors. This episode is going to land for you, and if you're listening to this thinking, okay. I'm ready to actually change this for myself. Then I want you to know that the doors for our May intake of peacefully attached are open right now. This is where we take you from awareness into action, where you learn how to regulate, set standards and stick to them so your dating life starts to reflect that. Applications close April 30th, 2026. So if you're feeling the pool, please don't sit on it. Spots are limited. You can apply via the link in the show notes or come and DM me on Instagram if you wanna chat it through. Alright, let's get into the episode. I. My beautiful Zla, welcome to the Secure Love Club podcast. How are you doing today? Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here. I'm doing pretty good. I'm pretty sleepy because I woke up at 5:00 AM to bake for Kacha. Oh. So yeah. So here I am. I will try my best. Beautiful. I love it. Why were you up at 5:00 AM baking a faccia? I'm having a date today. A date? A date. Oh, stop it. She baked a focaccia for a date. Okay. Hitting us with the juice right off the bat. Yeah. We're going for a hike and we will have a picnic at the end of it, so F kacha is part of it. Okay. Slay. That is so exciting and so nice. Oh my God. Okay. I am excited to get into all the duty details of your dating life, but let's obviously start. Back at the beginning so everyone listening can have some context for who you are. So we know your name is Zla. Do you wanna share with our listeners where you are in the world? And then let's go back or rewind the clock to, if you can share a bit about just like what was going on in your life at the time when you reached out to me and you decided to take the plunge to join peacefully Attach talk about like what was going on in your life there. So, yeah, my name is Ella. I come from Slovenia, Europe, and at that time when I applied to peacefully attached, it was just a few months after a very painful breakup that I had, and I felt so stuck, not because it was something. Very new, but rather, I was feeling like it was familiar in a way because for as long as I could remember, I was always so anxious in all my relationships and I was consistently attracting avoidant partners, and then it had happened again, even though I really truly believe that this time it would be different. This was the time when all of my limiting beliefs as I'm not good enough. I'm too much. I always attract, avoid partners. They always leave me in the end, came up to the surface again, but some, something that I did notice that is that I was actually the problem because I was. It wasn't just happening to me. I was co-creating it because I was the one allowing these people to be in my life in the first place. One of the big problems that I was facing is that I wasn't communicating my needs. And when I did, sometimes I always felt like I was too much, I was too needy, and I felt so rejected when people couldn't meet me where I was. So I chose the easier option, which was that I adapted and I overgive and I over proved myself, and this is how I abandoned myself again and again and again, and I have made myself so small. But then one lucky, lucky day, I was scrolling through Instagram and you popped up in my feed and I was immediately just drawn to you and your profile and I started watching your content, listening to your podcast. And. I don't know. You just, you just spoke to me. It was love of a first sight or coach of a first sight kind of moment probably. Yeah. And that's when I decided to send you a message. Thank you for sharing that. It's there's so much to dive into there, but I think. What, what stood out to me was how you said you adapted in all of those relationships and you made yourself smaller and smaller and smaller to probably maintain that relationship at all costs, even if the quality of that relationship was poor or it was actually hurting you, and when you were doing that in those relationships. How did that end up impacting you over time when you kept self abandoning like that? I feel like most of the time I wasn't really feeling sure of myself. I wasn't really trusting myself in the process. I didn't have much self-confidence. I would rather go, two people to ask for their opinions on certain situations. I was always asking people to help me to get to a certain decision in my life. So yeah, I really feel like it, it wasn't something that was showing up just in relationships, but rather in actually all of my life, my. My studies, my friends, my family. Yeah. That's everywhere. Yeah. And you are someone who has a lot going on in your life. Like I remember when it was early on in Peacefully Touch when you were inside the program and we had a thread going on in our community portal, and it was all about like introducing yourself and. Sharing some personal details about yourself, so all the other women in the group you could connect and get to know each other. And I remember reading your post and I was so impressed. I was like, who is this amazing woman? So smart, so engaged with life, so curious, so eager to grow, and just so much going for you honestly, like I just can't say that enough in what I see in you and. I was so happy that you had stepped into the program because I was like, this woman, we can't have her have these shitty relationships like she has, you know, the world is her oyster. You have so much to give and so much to offer that we need to get you into a better position in dating and like with all of that going on. And then having that low confidence and that low self-worth, which as we know, you know, when you are coming from that anxious attachment that has a really big pull over you, these toxic relationship dynamics where you don't feel seen and valued or heard. And so how was that starting to impact all of these other like, really important parts of your life that you have going on? It is really weird because I, this is not something that I was reflecting on so much. I was always so focusing on relationships, to be honest. But I felt like most of the time I needed to prove my worth to someone to feel worthy. For example, doing so much for my friends not canceling plans, even when I was really tired and exhausted. I was in people pleasing mode most of the time. I always needed to be the best at school, to have the best grades when I didn't get the best grade. I felt like I was a failure actually. And I don't know I don't feel like people from my life were expecting me to do all those things or to be perfect. But I was expecting it from myself and I was working towards it all the time, but. The struggle was that no matter how much I work in, I put into being perfect. I was always left feeling unworthy of love, unworthy of attention, all those things, and that is unfortunately such a common experience. For so many people you know, we have these ideas that because of our conditioning. We always have these different ways of learning as children, how we get attention and how we get love and praise. And so then we almost like fixate on showing up in that way in the world to continue trying to get that love. And I do recall you sharing that. It was a lot around trying to be that overachiever, trying to always be perfect and do your best. And what's so interesting is how, as you said, like no matter how much you achieve and how much you work. You still felt unworthy of love, unworthy of attention. And so it's this, it's like one of those you, you're on a hamster wheel, like no matter how much you're running, it just keeps going around and round and round and you never like arrive at that place. And so looking back now with what you know and how far you've come, what was it for you? Do you think that was the missing piece? Like what was it that was missing back then within yourself? That you were trying to find externally? I think we, people with anxious attachment are really good. We, with overanalyzing and we can really, truly understand ourselves, the way we work, the way we behave. All the patterns, all the trauma behind it all. And I had gone to therapy. I had awareness, I understood my patterns. But I don't know, I just felt stuck like I needed. I didn't need more insight into what was under the surface, but I needed more standards, more structure, more action. And I needed someone to guide me. Probably the biggest part of it all was regulating my nervous system. This is something that was missing through all those years to this feeling that I can really count on myself to calm myself down. And to arrive back into this more peaceful state where emotional intelligence is high. Yeah. So that had been a really important missing piece. As you said in the past, you'd tried therapy, you'd done a lot of self-development work, but the, yeah, the dysregulation was. Stopping you from almost like being able to implement all the things that you had the awareness around. Is that correct? Yeah, definitely, because especially in very specific situations, for example when someone didn't reply for a long time before I would easily go into this. Problem solving mode, trying to win them back, get their attention, trying to almost in some way, manipulate them into writing me. Uh, a text or calling me or asking me out. But this time when I feel this dysregulation going on in my body, I try to firstly ask myself, okay, so how is my inner child feeling in this moment? And what can I do to make her feel good, safe? To feel loved. What can I do? Not what can, what I do I need to search for in other person to feel that way? Yeah. And as you started to do that more and more, as well as some of the self-regulation tools, how did that begin to shift things like how you began to feel within yourself? I feel like it was so much easier to stick to the decision that you make at the beginning, because again, as I said, when you feel regulated, a emotional intelligence is high and you are so much likely to finish the task, the decision, anything. So if my decision is. Uh, for example, I will not leave my weekends open just to see if they will invite me out. But I will still live my life, uh, schedule meetings with friends, anything like that. And I need to stick with this decision even when I'm feeling. Nervous or anxious or anything like that. And when I am feeling this way, I try to get back into my body as soon as possible with breathing exercises, with somatic work or exercises, anything like that. And after. Working working with your body, working with your mind, it gets just so much easier. Not maybe the first one, two rounds but after a time it's, it just become, becomes a part of your daily life, I would say. So it's that what I'm hearing is because in Peacefully Touch, we do do a lot of work around standards and boundaries and what you're looking for, and getting really clear on that stuff for yourself so that you're not going into dating just blind, so to speak, and you're kind of just hoping it works out. Like you're really setting up a lot of structures for yourself so that you can. Yeah. Go into dating more equipped with what to do, what not to do what patterns or things you wanna avoid from the past. And so you're making these decisions ahead of time, but then as you said, it's so often it is that follow through piece that is the challenging part because it is so uncomfortable. To. Hold a boundary or to not just leave yourself Yeah. Your social calendar wide open and be waiting around for them to contact you or whatever it might be. It's very uncomfortable when you're not used to sitting in that discomfort. And so the regulation piece sounds like was really, the. Well, it's what's required really to be able to sit in that discomfort and follow through on the promises that you make to yourself. And then what did you feel is the flow on effect of sticking to the promises you make to yourself? What does that do to you or for you? I feel like before. The key difference is that before I was wanting to be chosen, and now I am the one who is choosing. If that makes sense. Because a month or a little bit more ago, I started dating again and I felt so scared of doing that, but you gave me a little push, so thank you for that. You're welcome. And this time I really feel like I'm not dating from my wounds, but I'm dating from my standards. And here's how it, what it looks like. For example, I say what I want, what are my needs? Early on and very clearly I am all also being so honest about what I'm looking for in a relationship. I also don't rush because I feel like connection is built over time. It is not chased, and I am also speaking up when something feels wrong or uncomfortable no matter how my body's fighting against it. I feel like all of those decisions. I am really trying to make them come true from a space of asking myself, okay, ZLA, so I know you're scared, but what would a higher version of yourself do in this specific situation? And even though I don't feel like it every single time I try to act on it and act as she would. And it brings so much. Peace and clarity and self build, build self trusts at the end that even though the situation can be quite uncomfortable, you are feeling so scared, so anxious, so nervous about it. All of this, these past patterns and limiting beliefs of building up. But once you do it, I don't know, it feels like, achievement to really have your back in every single situation. Yeah. That self-trust piece is what stands out, and that is how you build self-trust, essentially. It is by honoring your intuition, honoring what you told yourself you were going to do, at showing up for yourself and following through, even if it's uncomfortable and showing yourself that you can do it. And even though it's uncomfortable, it's okay. And it is also dependent on. How the person you're doing that with responds and if they do hold space for you and they are open to having conversations or they're open to hearing your needs, obviously, you know when you have that positive response. It adds to that sense of achievement.'cause you're like, oh, I just did that scary thing and I can see I got this really positive result. Therefore, there's this brand new evidence that when I do, stand up for myself or advocate for myself or say what I want, there's a positive result on the other side. However, of course, not everyone is always going to want to listen or want to meet your needs and things like that, and so. I'm curious if that has happened for you in your recent dating experiences. If it has, how has that then been received on your end if they can't meet you there or if it hasn't happened, how do you imagine that you will approach that if it does? It has happened lots of times actually. But it was a great practice, to be honest. I feel like Univers is testing me from empty corner. Yeah. It's actually, it differs from a relationship to relationship or person to person. Some of them. That I haven't built so intense connections, connection with, yet it didn't feel that happy. I just made a decision worked through it and that was okay. I was feeling good. Like another day when I did it, I, I just forgot about it actually. But with some it felt heavier. I really needed to self-regulate, to brief, to sit down with my inner child and to talk to her and to nurture her to feel more safe in all those situations, because at the end of the day. I know that my person is out there and I will meet them when the time is right and all the people that I meet in between are also there for me to have a certain experience with them, positive or more negative. But yeah, I think it's all good for something. What do you feel like you're learning about yourself in those moments where it is a bit heavier and it is. It stings, which by the way, is so valid and so understandable. Just because you do this work and you are certainly making so many strides to, to be that securely attached version of yourself. Of course, rejection still stings, and if things don't go the way you hoped it's gonna hurt, but so it's not about trying to deny that or pretend like that doesn't happen at all, but as you are talking about, it's the way that you handle. And the way you handle yourself through those stings and those painful moments. But yeah. I'm curious what you feel you are learning about yourself and how you're growing through that. I feel like I really. Know now where my boundaries stand, what I'm, uh, my red flags, yellow flags, and green flags, and what are the red flags of a partner? For example, I feel like my sadness that I'm feeling from time to time is teaching me about the childhood wounds. And I'm really asking myself in this particular moments, what do I need? Do I need words of affirmation? Do I need touch? Do I need just to sit with myself for a moment to build this connection? And when anger arises, I was so ashamed of my anger for such a long time, but now I really feel like she's. Teaching me what my boundaries actually are. Because when you're angry, it means, okay, so this is where I stand. This is where, you stand, and we need to do something about this wall between us two. Is it something that we can work with or is it something that. Just needs a goodbye and that's it. So yeah, it, it actually teaches you a lot about your emotions, about your childhood, about you as a person, what do you need, what you don't need, all those things. It sounds like there's still so much learning that is happening for you, which tends to happen, right? Like you learn so much as you go through the program, but then when you start really putting yourself out there in the real world and you are dating again, that's when you have all these opportunities, as you put it to really. Integrate and embody these new things that you have learned and these things that you have set up for yourself. Because as we know the embodiment of your secure self comes through action. Comes through the new action that you take. Right. We can sit around and be aware and have these conversations and know what to do, what not to do, but it's not until we. Actually do it, that we start to see ourselves differently and we start to have more respect for ourselves, I think. So it, it's so, so powerful. And can you tell us a little bit about some of the more positive dating experiences that you've had recently? And maybe if there's some things that you'd like to point out that you haven't experienced before or that are just different to how you used to experience dating. For example, the man I'm dating right now is really sweet. He's actually organizing dates, never happened before. He brings me flowers every single time, which is also a I know. What a king. Exactly. Which is also a very sweet thing to do. And some of other experiences, I don't know. I'm just feeling, I was so upfront with them from the first moment and they were also sharing their truth about what they're looking for, what is okay with them, what is not. So I feel like commun communication is probably the biggest thing that has changed, not me. Needing to guess every single thing. They also, one thing that is also new is them reaching out even when they're busy and not texting and saying like, okay, so I have really busy day to day. I will not be texting that much. Just so that you know. And I appreciate that so much. Really. How does that make you feel? So calm and secure actually, and that I can really count on them when that they will communicate when something feels off for them, and that I too have this allowance to communicate my needs. It's so powerful. It just, it doesn't take much, that's the thing. It does not take much to make someone feel at ease and assured. And unfortunately for, you know, with anxious attachment, we're so used to dismissing our needs or just settling for, dare I say, like crumbs and scraps. That you end up thinking you really are too much and you are asking for too much. But as you start to have these more secure, healthier interactions, you start to realize that this is, it's like it's not that hard and it's certainly not that much what you are asking for or what you want. It takes two seconds to send someone a text and say, Hey, really busy today. I can't be texting, but I'll check in with you tonight. Like that is not difficult at all. It's just that. These people who don't have that emotional capacity, they just can't even, they can't even go there with you. Right. So I'm so happy to hear that you're starting to have these more positive experiences. And what are you looking for at the moment? Like when you let someone know what your intentions are and what your needs are, like what are you looking for? I'm definitely looking for a serious, long-term relationship. I'm just not a person for something casual, so, yeah. Because one, one day I want to have a husband and a kids and a cottage, core vibes house, cottage core, which with chickens and goats and all of the things. I see that for you. Yeah, I'm working towards it. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. And so you're telling these guys up front, like you're telling them I'm looking for like a long-term relationship. I'm not looking to, yeah, with some, I have to say we didn't have the conversation yet, but I will definitely have it the soon, uh, the soonest possible. Before emotionally investing too much into that connection. Yeah. So some things are still in progress, but most of it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I think I'm doing pretty good. I think you're doing amazing. Yeah. And also just trusting yourself to know that you'll know when the time is right to have those conversations, you know, like leaning a little bit more into your intuition as you navigate. Dating and you know, I know in the beginning of pa like there is a lot of things we are setting up almost like your own rule book or your own like guidelines for you to follow boundaries for yourself so that you. Don't repeat all patterns, but over time, as you start to get more confident, you don't need to really follow those things so rigidly because it just becomes second nature, right? Like the things that you want, that you're available for, that you're not available for, and speaking up for yourself, it all just becomes the norm. So you can just trust yourself and trust your intuition to be fluid in your approach. And it's, it's obviously gonna, uh, differ from person to person, right? That you're dating. Yeah, definitely. And I like the part when you said that it becomes part of your second nature, because in the past I felt the point where I'm at in my life right now, it felt so. Unachievable so far away, like something I was just dreaming about, but could never happen. But it did, and I'm feeling good. I'm feeling safe, I'm feeling secure. Of course, anxious attachment and patterns and limiting beliefs come up. They will come up, especially in relationships. But this is something that you need to work with other people. Not just yourself. Yeah, definitely. It's, uh, healing is relational. You know, these attachment systems are formed in relation with other people. And so yes, so much work you can do on your own, but so much healing happens in those new relational experiences with the people you're dating and it's so important. I'd love to just pivot for a moment to, I was actually reading back through. Some of your, like your application when you join PA and also your feedback form and stuff like that. And I noticed that you, when I was asking you the question about talking about how it felt to invest in yourself, you had said that initially there were some concerns that you would invest in yourself and you wouldn't learn anything new and it wouldn't work for you and things like that.'cause you'd already done a lot of work on yourself, but you then shared that it ended up being one of the best decisions you've ever made. What was it for you? And like, because everyone's gonna take something different for themselves, right? Like whenever you go through a program, what you need the most and what is gonna help you the most is gonna be different from the next person. And so seeing that you had a lot of awareness already, but what was it about moving through that group program and being in that space that ended up being such a positive experience for you? I feel like. This is of course different from person to person because it's not just, yes, of course, you give us materials, you schedule calls, coaching calls and it's not just that you do your homework and you show up for these calls. It is a day after day process that you really need to commit to. To get out of it the most as you can at this moment. Of course, life happens and maybe some days you really dive deep into it. Maybe some days you just relax and don't think about peacefully attached at all. But I think what was the most important for me was to commit to this process every single day because we were together for. Three months or something like that. And doing this work for three months and focusing on it, it really changes your brain chemistry, I would say. I dunno, it just sticks to you. Because it, it's not something that you just, I don't know, just, oh, okay. I show up for a coaching call once a week and that's it. No it's, you really put a lot of your energy and attention and work into it, and I think this is the most important, this was the most important part for me because as I said, I had done therapy, I had pretty good awareness, but I needed someone to. Give me structure and to guide me through it all. But I believe I still did pretty much the base of this work myself, if that makes sense. But yeah, probably regulating my nervous system and connecting with my inner child was the most important part of it. Got you. And so yeah, having that structure, having that implementation of how do you move through this in a tangible way and how did you find the support between calls and like from myself and also being in that group setting with other women on that journey with you? It was honestly so helpful to have other women to, that are experiencing. Very similar situations and very similar emotions coming up, and I just felt so seen and so heard most of the time because we were actually sharing same stories and I don't know, it just felt so. How can I say? So Fre refreshing actually to be in this group because I have learned so much more about myself when listening to other people because I saw myself in their eyes and talking. And I really think it also I felt like I have a group of my personal cheerleaders turned me on even when life felt so messy and so triggering and they were always there for me no matter what. Uh, also the. Uh, support between calls was amazing because sometimes when I felt like we all had specific week or two between peacefully attached when things really got hard. Feeling very triggered, very stuck, very emotional. And this is when this support between calls were, was so helpful to have you on the other side almost every single day, to just help us with all of the things they ca that came through and to keep us accountable for everything that we have decided for ourselves before. That makes me so happy to hear that you felt so supported and so seen and nurtured in that space. And I really I have to second that in that I think that is so important, and that's what I value the most out of this space is yes, there's the material. Yes, there's homework and integration work, but I do think, again, like what we were just saying around healing is relational. It's. Being in these group spaces with people who you can relate to, you can resonate with, you feel seen by, there's no judgment, and you're held accountable every step of the way. I think that makes such a big difference for so many people. And like for yourself, I know that made a big difference for me. So yeah. I'm so happy to hear that that was a really important part of the journey for you. And what would you say about. Actually, there was one other question I wanted to mention around your application. So when I asked you on the application, I asked you like where you wanna be in six months time and how ideally you'd like to be feeling you wrote, I would like to find my spark and energy again. I wanna believe that the love I seek is possible for me. I want to feel secure and radiant in single life as well as in a relationship and to create a healthy framework and heal my patterns for when I decide to start dating again. Do you feel like you have achieved those things or, well, it came true, but gen genuinely, does that feel like it's true for you now? Yes, it does. And it feels so weird now when you were reading it. Oh my God I completely forgot that I wrote that actually. Yeah. And I think I remember you saying to me at some point during PA you messaged me and you were like, I feel like I've got my spark back. Yeah. Which was so beautiful to hear. Yeah. I really, I still feel it. I have so much energy. I have so much things going on, and I feel like this time I had this realization that I'm responsible for my own happiness and wellbeing, and I'm the one who chooses how she's going to feel. React every single day and in every single situation. And living like that has really improved my life in so many ways. What do you feel has been some of the most powerful, like flow on effects of that that you've seen? I mean, I know you just said that you have so much energy and things like that. But what are some of the other tangible ways that this work has improved your life? I feel the biggest difference feels when I wake up in the morning, I feel just so ready and so excited about the day that is coming. I feel excited about life. I feel excited about any experiences that are coming my way. Also this girl can focus, I can really focus much more now any, any task that I'm doing. Yeah. So that Headspace has cleared up. Yeah. Which is amazing to hear, even whilst you're actively dating that you're feeling that way. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. So if you could speak to the version of you who was. Scared to say yes to getting the support for herself. Scared to going all in. What would you say to that past version of you being where you are now? I would say her to trust herself. To trust that everything will work out. In the perfect timing and in a perfect way, and I would encourage her to act as a higher version of herself, even though she's feeling scared and anxious and feeling like this is. Such a big investment in every single way, but it'll pay out in the end and it'll be one of the best experiences that she ever had. don't cry. Getting me in the fields Okay, and for anyone listening who resonates with your story, they're considering investing in peacefully touch and doing this for themselves. What would you say to that woman? It feels so scary in the beginning. For me, it was such a big investment, especially because I'm a student and my finances are. Some months good, some months bad but it was definitely the best decision ever. You in peacefully attached, you learn that you don't need to prove your worth to be loved, and that the right person will not allow you or require you to shrink or to chase and abandon yourself. Instead that we, they will meet you with clarity, with consistency, and also emotional safety and life with this secure attachment is possible for you. You really need to believe in yourself. And Mimi is there to help you with all of that, and she's the most amazing coach that you can choose. Oh, thank you, ZLA. It's so special to hear your entire story and just to. Hear from your mouth, of how this journey has been for you. And I appreciate you sharing all of the nuances of this journey because you know it's not linear. It's not black and white by any means. And as you said, there's certain points throughout the journey that you will feel like you're going backwards sometimes, or you'll feel stuck or you'll feel anxious or overwhelmed, and that is just a normal part of the process and that's why. You have that support and that accountability and then you get back on track and yeah, I appreciate you being really vulnerable and sharing all those nuances and how you are applying everything in your dating life today. Is there anything else that you haven't said or shared that you want to say? Just that whoever is listening, trust yourself that you can do it. It's possible for all of us. I couldn't believe that. It's possible for me. I didn't believe that it's possible for me, but here I am. So if I can do it, you can do it too. Yeah, 100%. Thank you, ZLA. And you're off on your date today, which is very exciting. What number date is this with this Lucky man? Uh, it's a second date. So it's pretty new? Okay. Very exciting. How are you feeling about this one? I like him a lot. He is very nice. He's very consistent with communication. He's very open. So, yeah, we will see. Beautiful. Well, you tell him to treat you right? Or tell him Mimi will be coming for him. Yes. Alright, ZLA, well thank you so much for coming onto the Secure Love Club podcast and sharing your story with our listeners. I know it's gonna resonate with so many women, and you really are a true example of what you can achieve when you lean in, when you apply yourself, and just continue to be an absolute legend. So thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Bye my love. If you enjoyed today's episode, hit that subscribe button and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 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