Ep #72: Stop Believing Every Thought You Have

In this episode, I’m sharing a reminder that completely shifted the way I was moving through a difficult season recently… and it’s one I think every woman needs to hear: you are not your thoughts. When life feels uncertain, when dating doesn’t go the way you hoped, or when old fears and limiting beliefs start getting loud again, it’s easy to believe every thought that passes through your mind is the truth. Before you know it, you're spiralling, questioning yourself, and making decisions from fear instead of from the grounded, secure woman you're working so hard to become.

This conversation came from a powerful therapy session that reminded me just how convincing our anxious brain can be when it's trying to keep us safe. We dive into why your mind often presents fear as fact, how old stories can quietly come back online when you're navigating change, and the simple mindset shift that creates space between who you are and what you're thinking.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why your thoughts aren't facts, even when they feel incredibly convincing
• How fear-based thinking keeps you stuck in old patterns and comfort zones
• A simple practice to separate yourself from anxious thoughts in real time
• How to respond from your highest, wisest self instead of your fearful brain
• Why changing your thoughts can completely change the actions you take and the results you create

🎧 Tune in now! And if this episode resonates, send me a DM on Instagram — I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway.

’YOU AREADY KNOW’ FREE TRAINING: https://www.mimiwatt.com/you-already-know-webinar-replay-opt-in-landing-page

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MIMI SOCIAL MEDIA: Come say hi 👋 (or DM me your biggest takeaway) on Instagram HERE!

Transcript

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You are listening to the Secure Love Club podcast. I'm your host, Mimi Watt Hey friends, welcome back to the club. Before we dive into today's episode, I wanna let you know about a brand new free training that I am going to be hosting tomorrow, tomorrow morning live. If you're listening to this podcast the day that it has come out, which would be June 9th, 2026 then I'm running a free training tomorrow on June 10th at 8:00 AM Australian Eastern Standard Time. And this is going to be such a powerful training. The title is called You Already Know, and this training is for you if deep down you usually know when someone isn't right for you, but you keep dating them anyway. It's for you if you've become an expert at explaining away behavior that you wouldn't encourage your best friend to tolerate. You're tired of wasting months hoping someone will become who you need them to be. You've mistaken giving it a chance for repeatedly abandoning yourself. You're ready to become the woman who can walk away from the wrong person even when there's chemistry, attraction, and a part of you that wants it to work. You want to trust your gut, make dating decisions with confidence, and stop second guessing yourself every step of the way, and you want a healthy, secure relationship and know that it starts with becoming someone who honors her standards instead of negotiating them. If that is you, you need to be at this training. I'm so passionate about this conversation we're going to be having because I really feel that there's a big shift going on in the dating and relationship world right now, where five years ago A lot of people didn't really have the awareness they have now. I feel like attachment styles and red flags and green flags and patterns, it wasn't as commonly spoken about as it is today. And at least for all of the women in my community, or majority that I speak to, you already know when you're in a misaligned connection, or you know when someone isn't meeting your standard, or you are minimizing your needs in a relationship. The problem I see is the disconnect between knowing the problem and doing something about it, whether that is speaking up and having the important conversations or ending a connection and walking away because you know that it's inevitable that in a month or two months or three months down the line, it's probably not going to work out. So this conversation we're having in this training is about addressing that gap between the answers that you already have inside of you, being able to hear your gut instincts and your intuition, and being able to trust them without needing everyone else's input and insight and validation of your feelings, and being able to act on them like the secure, confident, empowered woman I know you are. This is going to change your life because it's not just knowing your standards or being able to voice what you deserve and what you want and what you need, it's when you take the action that essentially puts your money where your mouth is, and you walk the walk, that is what truly embodies security. That is what makes your standards not just something you say, but genuinely who you are, and that's what calls in your dream partner. So in this training, you're going to learn how to stop wasting months on people you knew weren't right from the beginning, why you keep ignoring your gut instincts and staying longer than you should, and how to build the self-trust to walk away with confidence instead of waiting for the inevitable disappointment that we all know comes when we are dating someone who we know isn't right for us. So I would hope to see you there. I'm gonna leave the link in the show notes below for you to secure your spot. A reminder, this is free. It's happening tomorrow, June 10th at 8:00 AM Australian Eastern Standard Time. It's gonna be a vibe. It's gonna be amazing. Be there, and also grab the link and send it to your friends so that they can come and join us as well. Now, for today's episode, we are delving into something that has been coming up in my personal life and that I'm also seeing reflected in my clients. And this may not come across like anything profound or anything new to you, however, I was reminded in a recent therapy session that we can never have too many reminders of this concept and of this topic. So I'm paying it forward to give you this reminder that I really needed in this past week, and that is that you are not your thoughts. This episode, or my goal with this episode, is to help you create distance between yourself and your thoughts, and become the conscious observer, and be able to witness your thoughts and not take them on as fact. Because when we do that, shit can start to get really messy and really negative and really bleak very quickly. So if you have been finding yourself stuck in a bit of a negative head space lately, or you feel like your mind is always spiraling, you're overthinking things, you feel like you're at the effect of your own brain instead of feeling in control of your brain and directing it to do what you want it to do and have the thoughts you want it to have so that you can feel better and take better action, then this episode is for you. So with that being said, let's dive in Let me take you on a bit of a journey for a moment, and I'm gonna share a story because I think that's the funnest way to learn. The last couple of months, actually let's say from about March this year, so yeah, last coup- last few months, I have been on an amazing upward trajectory, a big upward spiral. And this has been so great because, as I've shared on the podcast, in, last year in 2025, it was a particularly challenging year for me. I struggled with feeling isolated, with dysregulation, and feeling very lost and, uh, not having a lot of clarity around my future and where things were going. I had gotten into a bit of a black hole with only focusing on my business and just pouring everything into my work, and that led me to a place of being extremely dysregulated, and my nervous system was stuck in a chronic state of fight or flight. And the repercussions of that were that I struggled to get out of bed on the weekends. I would break down crying multiple times a week. I would wake up in the morning and see my to-do list for work and instantly get a, like a brick of anxiety on my chest and struggle to breathe properly, and felt like I couldn't do it. I couldn't put myself out there to socialize. I had no desire to date. I All this stuff, right? It was really, really challenging. And I didn't quite recognize at the time that I was so dysregulated until someone pointed it out to me, and I had a bit of an ego death in that moment because I thought, "What the fuck?" Like, I honestly thought I was someone who is really regulated, like I know my shit, right? I've been working on myself for years. I've done all these courses, blah, blah, blah. I should be someone who's regulated. But of course, I'm only human, and sometimes we have these blind spots, and that is the power of having someone in your corner, whether it's a coach or a mentor or a therapist or a really good friend, who can point out these parts of ourselves that we can't actually see very clearly. And I'm so glad that this friend and past mentor of mine pointed this out to me because it woke me up, and it was one of those moments where I realized I needed to take control of my nervous system. I needed to really start pouring back into me and come back to a state of regulation because otherwise everything else is gonna feel like I'm climbing up a giant mountain. So I began regulating myself and I began doing that through breathwork. And this absolutely changed my life. Breathwork is probably the most effective tool and modality I have ever tried, and I've tried a lot, to come back to a state of feeling really calm and grounded and back within your own body. I didn't realize how disconnected I was from my h- from my body. I was so stuck up in my head, constantly spiraling and overthinking and stressing, that my entire body and nervous system was just stuck in survival mode. And when you're in survival mode, it makes it really hard to do essentially anything other than keep yourself alive through eating, sleeping, and moving, right? And drinking water. It makes everything else extremely hard. When we do breathwork, we're able to complete these incomplete stress cycles and stress responses and bring ourselves back down to a, a new baseline, one of deep rest and ease. And so I started doing this breathwork, and I was doing it every single day. And at about the two-month mark, I noticed a profound change. I was sitting at my desk, and I remember I just stopped And it was like for the first time in my life, I was so in my own body and it felt that for the first time in my life, I ex- I really knew what it felt like to be properly, genuinely regulated. What it felt like to have space in my body, to have calm and ease and not feel stressed and not feel overwhelmed or anxious. I just felt so grounded. So this has continued to support me and I have spoken about this in another podcast episode, so I'm gonna try not to go on too much of a tangent, but I just really need you to know how powerful it was. So powerful, in fact, that I went and got certified as a breathwork facilitator, and I am now facilitating breathwork inside my program, Peacefully Attached, and it's already so amazing, and it's just, it is life-changing. So I'm so excited for my students who go through Peacefully Attached and future students for you to experience the magic of breathwork. Anyway, so things were going on an upward spiral, right? So I became really regulated. I started eating better. I started exercising more. I started sleeping better. I let go of old crutches that I used to think I would literally die without, e.g., wearing fake tan every week. I have fallen in love with my natural skin, with who I am. I feel more comfortable in my skin than ever. All these amazing side effects and benefits were happening. And then I went away on a breathwork retreat, which I've also mentioned, and that was so amazing and profound. And then I got back from the breathwork retreat, and a few things happened that started to pull me down a little bit. So when I got back from the retreat, my intention was that I was gonna move to the Gold Coast, as I've also spoken about before. I said to myself a couple of months ago, "Okay, I'll go to the retreat. I'm gonna work up to that. Then when I get back, it's, you know, all steam ahead. I'm gonna move to the Gold Coast." But when I got back from the retreat, I sort of stumbled back into dating, um, because I met someone and he really caught my attention and had a really beautiful first date with him before I went away to the retreat. So I did allow myself to get a little bit distracted with dating, and I kind of put the whole move on the back burner because I haven't felt genuinely attracted to someone or liked someone in such a way in a long time now. So I thought, "You know what? I'm gonna give this some of my attention and focus right now 'cause this feels good." Long story short, that connection didn't work out after about a month, and I had to walk away 'cause it was a misaligned connection. And I noticed in the last couple of weeks my mood started to drastically shift and change. I noticed myself starting to feel really heavy and That same feeling I had last year where I felt a sense of hopelessness or just a bit, things felt a bit bleak, and I felt really stuck. And I didn't know what I was meant to be doing about my living situation. I wasn't taking action on it. I started to have all these thoughts come into my mind around, you know, "You're stuck," and, "Things are never gonna change," and, "You're not gonna feel, um, independent again." And, uh, even stuff around business like, "Oh, you're never gonna be as successful as you wanna be," and just all these thoughts, right? And so I wasn't feeling good, so I booked in for a therapy session 'cause I was like, "I need support right now." So I went to the therapist on... a couple of days ago, and as we opened up the conversation, um, and for context, I hadn't seen her in a couple of months because things were going so well, and she'd supported me really well. And so I got to this place where I noticed as we were, as we were having our conversation, she said, "It sounds like some of those old limiting self-beliefs and those old stories have come back online, and they're really loud." And those, those stories are, you know, I'm not good enough, I am... like, I'm never gonna be as successful as other people. Um, uh, I'm... What else is it? Like, I'm not sure if it's I'm unlovable, unworthy. I don't think I believe that anymore. But nevertheless, these stories became really loud, and I got quite emotional in this therapy session because saying it out loud, I didn't realize how loud these thoughts and these stories had become in my mind and how much power I was giving them. I had forgotten to be the conscious observer of these stories and of these thoughts. I had forgotten that I had a choice about whether I wanted to take these thoughts at face value and make them true or if I was gonna stop, pause, acknowledge this story that was being presented to me by my brain, by my anxious brain, and decide from my wisest self if that was in fact true and if I wanted to take that on board. And we all need this reminder, right? Because when these thoughts come into our brain, they feel so true. They feel as if someone is just presenting the news, excuse me, presenting the news, like presenting facts, and we just take it at face value. We're just like, "Yep, okay, I'm not good enough," or, "Yep, okay, I will never be successful," or, "I will never reach X goal," or, "I will never find my person or fall in love." We just take it as fact. And so if we don't stop to question these thoughts that are coming in, I said to my therapist, I'm like, "Shit, if I don't question these thoughts, I'm never gonna wanna get out of bed." Because unfortunately, I don't know about you, but the way that my brain is wired, a lot of these thoughts are designed to keep me playing very small in my life. And I know that my brain is just doing what it's supposed to do. It's trying to protect me and keep me safe. However, it's not conducive to me living a happy, fulfilled, successful life because it wants me to, "Don't change your environment. Don't change your habits, and routines, and patterns. Don't put yourself out there. Stay where it's safe. Stay where you're protected and where things are predictable," because that's nice and easy for our brain. Don't forget your brain is lazy. It's lazy. It doesn't want to expend energy. It wants to do what it's always done, and it wants It will throw anything at you if it perceives there to be a threat. So even when I think about moving to the Gold Coast, my wiser self, my intuition, when I think about that, it says, "Yes. Yes, I wanna do that." But then my brain that's afraid, it's afraid because there's uncertainty. There's uncertainty in that decision because I've never lived in the Gold Coast. I don't have a large network in the Gold Coast. I don't know what's gonna happen. So my brain tries to tell me, "No, no, no. No, no, no. That's a bad idea. You shouldn't go. You shouldn't go. Something bad's gonna happen," okay, because it's trying to keep me here. It's trying to keep me safe. But if I take that on and I don't question it, then I will never make that move that I know in my gut is the next step for my evolutionary journey. Just like you, maybe as I'm saying this, there's something coming up for you in your life where you have something you wanna do or there's, there's a decision you've been delaying because on the one hand it feels so important and it feels like your soul is calling you forward to that thing or that place or person, but you're letting your brain stop you from moving towards it because of the uncertainty that it holds. Notice as well how this might be coming up for you in dating. I've been speaking to one of my beautiful students inside, um, the Inner Circle, the Peacefully Attached Inner Circle, our alumni space. This is something we've been discussing because she's seeing someone, they've been seeing each other for several months now. So it's, it's not in the very early stages, but it's They're not exclusive or they sort of are I think now. But- She was going through an experience where her mind was telling her things based on an experience that had happened with this person. And although they'd had a conversation around the situation, they'd cleared things up, they'd s- talked about their expectations, their wants, their needs to get on the same page, her mind was still giving her thoughts like, "Uh, you're unwanted. You're undesired. He doesn't actually want you." And what I said to her in that moment is, "I want you to close your eyes for a moment and become the observer of that thought. Notice it. Say to yourself, 'I notice I'm having the thought that because I didn't hear from him on this day, that I'm unwanted and I'm undesired.'" Even just adding that bit at the beginning, "I'm noticing I'm having the thought that," it instantly separates you from that original statement of, "I am." Okay? Bec- b- we need to be careful with that because whenever we say, "I am," that is forming our identity. That is forming h- our perception of the world. And whatever we perceive to be true, we will continue scanning the world and scanning our environment for any little shred of evidence to prove that to be true. So if you're saying, "I am undesirable. I am unwanted," you will find evidence to prove that to be true. Your reticular activating system in your brain will go on the hunt to find evidence to form that to be true, and we don't want that. So we separate ourself from the thought. "I'm noticing I'm having the thought," and you instantly become the observer, the watcher. The thought becomes separate from you. Even just that is such a powerful first step. Then once you've separated yourself from the thought, see it as, like, this separate entity. Maybe it's coming from your anxious brain, your fearful brain, and you are looking at it as your wisest, highest self. And from that position, I want you to look at the thought and say, "Hmm, is that actually true?" So in this example, am, is it actually true that I am unwanted and undesirable? Most of the time, the answer's gonna be no, 'cause your highest, wiser self knows that that's not true. It's just the fearful part of our brain that wants to project that story so that you can... A lot of the time, it's a self-sabotaging thing, so that you can, you know, catch someone out before they hurt you. So you can say, "Ha. See? I knew it. I knew you didn't want this, so I'm gonna blow this up and I'm gonna end the connection, and it's gonna suck, but at least I'll be the one to have done it, and you won't do it to me." But that's not what we want, at least not if we think that this person is genuinely a match and compatible. We need to interrupt these old, anxious patterns that want to sabotage safety. They want to sabotage someone who could be good for us. So ask yourself, "Is that actually true?" And if the answer is no, it's not true, then you get to ask, "Okay, how do I want to respond from my, as my highest, wiser self to this situation? How does she want to respond here?" She can say, "Okay, well, it's valid that I feel that way. I'm not gonna deny. I'm gonna validate my own feelings." It's okay that you feel unwanted in this moment. It's okay that you feel undesirable in this moment. Or for you listening, it's okay if you don't feel good enough in this moment or you don't feel capable enough in this moment. Whatever it is, validate how you feel, but don't stop there. It's okay that you feel this, and here's how I'm going to choose to look at this situation and how I'm going to choose to respond and take action on this moving forward. This is how we start to shift our patterns in real time. This is where we jump timelines from who we were to who we are now being. I'm being the person who decides what I think about myself, who decides that my success is inevitable, who decides that meeting the love of my life is inevitable. And then it's like if you knew those things were inevitable, if you knew these things were true, that you are wanted, you are desirable, you are a catch, how would you then shift your energy, and how would you start showing up from that belief? And notice even right now, if you noticed a subtle shift in your energy as I offered you that perspective, notice that you just did that in a split second because you decided to take on a new thought and a new perspective. So you see, you are not your thoughts, and you need to give yourself more credit for the power that you have over how you respond to these thoughts that get thrown at you from your anxious brain. You get to choose, "Am I gonna take that on as fact today? Is that, that threat or that concern my brain is giving me, is that really valid? Is that something I need to-" properly look at, or can I just notice it, acknowledge it, and keep moving forward without it, and recognize that, yes, okay, these things happen, or this thought happens, this feeling happens, but it's not who I am, and it's certainly not who I'm becoming. So I'm gonna choose a different thought, I'm gonna feel different, I'm gonna take a different action, and I'm gonna get a different fucking result. So for me, when I had this realization in my therapy session, it supported me in recognizing that when those thoughts come in about moving to the Gold Coast being scary and bad things are gonna happen, it's gonna be really hard, I can look at that and say, "Hmm, okay. I get why you're saying that to me, brain," and it could also be the most life-changing decision I've ever made. It could expand me in ways I never saw coming. It could feel incredible because it's aligned with what I want. If my brain dishes up the thought of, you know, "Other people can have X amount of success, but you can't," okay, I can choose to listen to that or I can choose to decide for myself, no, my success is inevitable, and there is so much within my power that I can do, ways that I can keep showing up, support that I have around me, that makes my success inevitable, and I'm gonna keep showing up, and I'm gonna remember why this is important to me, and I'm gonna put one foot in front of the other, and I'm gonna have fun doing it. Okay? And this isn't to say that all thoughts that come into your mind are invalid or you shouldn't listen to or pay attention to. Some of them are going to be really important and you are going to want to sit with them and acknowledge them and, like, take them on as truth, because they will be. But a lot of what your brain dishes up is fear-based mongering designed to keep you in old patterns, to keep you living small, and just unhappy ultimately, because when we live inside our comfort zone our whole life, we don't grow, we don't thrive, and that's not fulfilling. So make sure you remember that you are not your thoughts. Say it with me. I am not my thoughts. I am not my thoughts. I choose my thoughts. I choose my story. I respond from my highest, wisest self who knows the real truth. I'm gonna leave it there. I hope this was valuable for you today. Remember to challenge those thoughts that come in, and remember who the fuck you are. I'm sending you so much love. I hope to see you at the training tomorrow, and I'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye. If you enjoyed today's episode, hit that subscribe button and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Share this episode with your friends and come find me on social so we can hang out between episodes. All the links are below in the show notes