Grow with Robin Breckenridge

Ep. 49: Unconditional Love, Not Unconditional Tolerance

Robin Breckenridge Episode 49

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0:00 | 28:55

There is a crucial difference between unconditional love and unconditional tolerance. For many of us, especially those that came from dysfunctional family systems, we’ve internalized the message that if you really love someone, it means you stay no matter what. It means you endure no matter what. It means that you forgive over and over again. 


This leads to us being applauded for our selflessness, but it also leaves us dealing with the consequences of living a life where we’re catering to the needs and energy of everyone else around us and us last. And that isn't noble; it comes with a cost. Internally, it slowly erodes your sense of self.


I believe that healthy love requires limits that protect both people. Without limits, love starts to be impacted by resentment, exhaustion, anxiety, and self-abandonment. Boundaries don't make love fragile, they make it sustainable. 


You are capable of unconditional love, but you’re not required to tolerate disrespect, deception, or control. Love survives in an ecosystem that has respect, honesty, repair, safety, and mutual effort. The better you start to distinguish between unconditional love and unconditional tolerance, the healthier and more secure your relationships will be, both with others and with yourself. 



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