Prince Andrew Arrested On His 60th Birthday & AI Will Keep You Posting After Death

Prince Andrew arrested on his 60th birthday. Mate, you can't write this stuff. The first royal arrest since King Charles I in the 17th century, and Thames Valley Police picked the day he turned 60 to do it. 

We're discussing what happens next, whether he'll actually face consequences, and if the Royal Family finally cuts him loose.

This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're unpacking the Andrew arrest (including the suspicious fine art van that left his property), the new Hillsborough Law that makes it illegal for ministers to lie to the public — but somehow MPs are exempt — and whether Keir Starmer survives his 17th U-turn.

Then we're talking Meta's new patent that lets them simulate dead users and keep their accounts active posthumously (because grief wasn't complicated enough), smart underwear that tracks your farts for gut health monitoring, and our Top 5 Weird UK Laws That Are Actually True — including why you can't be drunk in a pub and when it's legal to beat your doormat in the street.

Plus: Larry the Cat for Prime Minister, why Trump called what happened to Andrew "a very sad thing," and the paradox of the no-wipe situation.

New episodes every week. Like and subscribe if you're enjoying the show.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro & Tet Holiday Stories
03:00 – Prince Andrew Arrested On His 60th Birthday
13:00 – The Hillsborough Law: Illegal To Lie (Unless You're An MP)
23:00 – Labor's 17 U-Turns & The Lowest Approval Rating Ever
28:00 – Larry The Cat Should Be Prime Minister
33:00 – Is Reform Actually Going To Win?
37:00 – Meta's Patent To Keep Dead People Posting
44:00 – Smart Underwear That Tracks Your Farts
49:00 – Top 5 Weird UK Laws (Drunk In Pubs, Kite Flying & Doormats)

#PrinceAndrew #RoyalArrest #UKPolitics #KeirStarmer #MetaAI #HillsboroughLaw #LarryTheCat #Reform #TemporarilyScripted #CurrentAffairs #Podcast

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Transcript

0:00

Welcome back to Temporally, scripted Everybody, and no prizes for guessing what we're gonna be talking about today. Oh dear. Oh dear. The 60-year-old man from Norfolk did not have a very good birthday. We are gonna be diving deep into that and elevating all of your knowledge around. The situation that's going on with Andrew, of course, but that's not all we're gonna talk about today. You know, we've always got some golden stories in the backend. There is a law that's come through that we have no idea how it's gonna police, and later on in the episode we'll dig into a few of our randoms that we always do. The moment you've all been waiting for, I'm sure you've missed him since last week. He's here again. He's back from te. He has survived, so that's good. He is, he is. Been out in the middle of nowhere in Vietnam around campfires. I would guess for the last week. The man, the myth, the legend. Adam Garcia. Hello. It's lovely to be back as always. And you're alive, which is great. I am alive. Yeah. And TA holiday is great. It's kind of messy, uh, and it's a little bit like going to a festival in many ways, but yeah, I would highly recommend it if anyone visits Vietnam. There we go. And uh, what did you eat over the tap period? What was the strangest thing you got to eat? There was nothing particularly strange. I don't, well, maybe I'm just getting used to it a bit more, more to the point. Yeah. Yeah. But it was a lot of like really, really delicious stuff that was just like, I dunno what that is, but I really like it. I dunno if it was good that I didn't know what it is, but. I liked it anyway. Yeah. There's always a place for a bit of a mystery meat sausage when it comes to Tet Holiday or Vietnam in general. E exactly. Yeah. How, how was, uh, how was the holiday for you? It, it was very good. I spent 12 hours sat round a fire cooking traditional Vietnamese. Uh, bang Chung. So yeah, my wife, I think spent about four hours making them and packaging them, and then we had to cook them on an open fire inside a pot of boiling water for 12 hours. So it was great. I wish that was my job. I'd quite happily sack off everything I was doing right now to make that cake every day if it was slightly better paid. You know, I can't imagine it's the best paid work in the world. Yeah. Sometimes it's fat. That kind of more simple life kind of appeals to me in many ways. You know, where it's just like, I'm just gonna make this. Every day and do this one thing, but, and do it really well. But it's just some kind of thing where you are kind of doing like a, a manual task, but it's, it gives you the chance to sort of think and just be at peace at the same time. It's not like being behind a screen, working on stuff or having conversations with people and things like that. I think it'd be pretty cool. Yeah. Like we spent, I spent like most of the morning, um, once I got over my hangover from the night before, of course I spent most of the morning clean, uh, finding seasoned wood, and then I was like chopping up with an axe. Like a big axe that I've got, which I bought ages ago.'cause obviously I'm a man, so I like to buy tools even though I have no use for any of them. Yeah, I live nowhere near a forest and I, I never need a c chop wood, but I, I need an, an axe. I've got a massive ax. This is, you know, a proper log splitting ax. So yeah, there I was in one of the abandoned houses across the road, swinging my ax and chopping up logs in flip flops. Health and safety first as you do. Wicked. Um, I got to use my saw, which was great, you know, make fire and stuff, which is always, you know, as a man, I think it's getting compliments on the quality of your fire is like. Peak manhood, it doesn't really get much better than that. That is true actually. Especially when you know, it's been like a really good fire and you've had like all the wood just kind of like stacked perfectly and for right amount of kindling and there's a lot of effort going into like and getting it going properly and yeah. Yeah. We even did a mid fire switch for charcoal and then because we didn't have a, a grill. So our old barbecue, we've not replaced it yet. It's not summer yet here, ladies and gentlemen. And we do promise we'll get into some news in a minute, but we know you really wanna fucking hear about our te holiday, so we're gonna talk about that first. Um, so yeah, we, we just simply got an old shelf. From one of our pop, um, drying racks and turned that into the barbecue setup. So I had to like burn the, the toxic paint off it first, obviously.'cause you don't want that in your, in your steak. Preferably not. And then I remembered I had a wire brush that I bought because. Why wouldn't you buy a wide brush? Did you get it at the same time as vx? I did. Yeah. Yeah. I think I also got a drill in some other bits and Bobs raw plugs. Of course, you need raws. The spirit level doesn't, yeah, yeah. Oh, of course. You gotta check things above along and yeah, so we just fashioned a barbecue out of an old shelf and cooked steaks and sausages and burgers, and then flipped it back to a fire afterwards. I felt like an absolute g. Nice. It sounds, uh, sounds like a really good wholesome family time. It really was. It really was. And, uh, yeah, fun was had by all karaoke was sung. You know, you can't complain, but anyway. Right. Do you think, uh, everyone's just switched off by now or to another channel? Maybe, but I, I dunno. I think people like to get a little insight into our world while we're here and now we are gonna talk about, of course. The man whose birthday it was yesterday and wishing a, a big, happy birthday to big, uh, Andy. PP Prince Andy yesterday was arrested as predicted by us here on temporarily scripted. We said it was gonna happen. Like he must have pissed all over the king's chips too much and that's it. Arrested on his birthday. I mean, what a time to pick as well. Do you think that was deliberate? I dunno. I was definitely conferring with chat GBT about it last night and chat. GB T was saying no, they wouldn't have planned it on his birthday. I was like, come on. They must have planned it on its birthday like. It. It's kind of perfect timing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Testament to how rubbish chat GBT is. I put, did they arrest Andrew on his birthday Deliberately and chat. GBT said, I assume you're talking about Andrew Tate. I was like, oh, right. You literally get beaten by by 2012. Google Chat, GPT. Yeah, it's mad, isn't it? Really crazy. Anyway, so yeah. Back to this. Hmm. Shock horror. Who was the last royal to get arrested? I mean, I, I dunno, but I dunno if it's ever happened, like, in history. Mm-hmm. Uh, because my, I, I would, I would imagine it the last time it happened is probably like. Where Kings were getting shot in the eye by an arrow on a battlefield, and that kind of. Yes. Yeah. I think rather than being royals, rather than Royals being arrested in the past it was more like one of them had just got like, uh, uh, unli or whatever the right term is for YouTube these days. Um, but yeah, I, I dunno if, well, there's definitely none in living memory. Um, but yeah, and I mean. Uh, I guess we'll see what happens. He's been released again. He was released, uh, a few hours ago, uh, at the time of filming, uh, February the 20th. Um, and yeah, we'll have to see what happens next.'cause I don't, I believe he hasn't been charged for anything. He's been released. Um, there's a couple of things. There's like, apparently a, a van, uh, which is. Kind of used for like moving fine art and apparently that was one of the vans that was like removing things or potentially removing things from his property, like the van that left. But we dunno if it had things or not. Seems interesting potential gifts from Mr. Epstein for information, I would guess, perhaps. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the allegation, isn't it? But while he was, um, like trade amboy. Um, the emails, uh, from the, the sort of data dump that we had not long ago, they kind of revealed that, yeah, you've got some information and instantly emailed it to Epstein. And it, I think it was saying something along the lines of, um, investment opportunity or something like that, because it was gonna be mm-hmm. Which of course it is because, um, there was gonna be some reconstruction work going on in Afghanistan titled like an email from a Nigerian print. Yeah, except it's actually true from a real prince. Uh, maybe you hope that no one would pick it up and think that it was some kind of spam and he would get away with it forever and a day, you know? Yeah, maybe. Um, and I mean, the thing is as well, it, we'll have to see how. How deep the, uh, investigation goes. But it's like, is this just like, did he do this one time or is this just like the tip of the iceberg? Was he constantly giving information to Epstein and also what whatever information was he privy to, what other information did he share? We, we dunno. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what the interview was like, and I, I, I question whether or not he was put in the actual cells. I wonder if he, he actually got put in the holding cells and stuff there. Some kind of, oh, actually, yeah. He actually got put in the cell with just like a, a toilet in the bed in it. Like, oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, I mean, he was, I know he was looking for a place to live not long ago.'cause he got kicked out. Maybe this could be the answer. He's like never looking gift horse in my mouth. There's a sitcom there for sure. I mean, do you think that if, like, if he gets jailed long term for something, he'll just be in the normal population with everybody else. Is it gonna be an open prison? I mean, wow. This is, this is a wild situation for, for the royal family in general. Yeah, I mean one, one kind of odd thing as well with Royal Family is like, do I guess they, they kind of knew bits and pieces about what he was doing as well, and I guess did they keep quiet about it in the past or what did they know?'cause it was that thing when, when Andrew paid off that girl to the tune of like 12 million pounds, that was all money that he lent from. His mom and his brother. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And they must have, I, I dunno, maybe they, they just said, well, no, Andy's a good lad. You know, he is, he's innocent. He's, he's a bit of a card sometimes, but he wouldn't do anything bad. Maybe they just thought that, well, did they kind of know a little bit about it too? Who knows? Yeah. Yeah. May maybe he had like a really, really good excuse and they just believed him. They were like, oh yeah, that sounds plausible. He is never told us any lies before. Well, I hope it was better than the Pizza Express or not. Not sweat an excuse that we discussed last time. Well, maybe that's why they believed him, because he just was asking for the 12 million pounds and there wasn't a drop of sweat on his face. Yeah. Or maybe 12 million pounds just isn't that much in some circles. Hmm. Yeah. I mean, they just sell a painting here or like a doorknob there and, and they're on their way, you know, it's, uh, it's interesting. So the last royal to be arrested and then executed was funnily enough, king Charles, the first. Um, and that was all the way back in the 17th century. So that was the, the last time a senior Royal was arrested. And we can trust it because I didn't ask church, EBT, it's one of those old school Google things where it gives you a question and has the actual answer underneath. So, oh, nice. So it's probably way more reliable. Yeah. You know, it's not just like AI having a fever dream and telling you some BS that it just made up. And then you ask it about it and he goes, oh, good catch. Yeah. Not to jump off too much, but there was a co, I saw a post yesterday from the CEO of a company and they've been trusting all of their sales information to AI for the last 11 months and just found out that all of the numbers and the information it was giving, it was just making of, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, but so it is crazy. Um. Yeah, I, I, I also, I looked into the, the law that he's been charged with related to giving away this information, and it doesn't have a top level for, uh, for, for punishment. So the top punishment is life imprisonment for what he's being investigated for Andrew. Hmm. Um, they are trying to. They are trying to put a law through Parliament at the moment. That makes it a bit more solid, I guess a bit more in, in the realms of legality. But apparently this law is invented by judges and not by legislation. So there is no maximum penalty, basically. Uh, right. So, um, again, we will just have to see what happens and uh, I guess it's gonna be a really lengthy procedure as well. And we're back to that thing again where rich people sometimes get punished for the crimes, but often not. And if I do get punished, it's a lot more lenient than if it was your average Joe blogs or whatever. Hmm. Yeah, so, so like Trump said about it as well, he said that it was, and I can't quite work out if, 'cause obviously you know what it's like in the media, they're gonna play it whatever possible way they can to make it look the most, oh, what was he said? But apparently US President Donald Trump offered his sympathies ah, to the monarch, to the king, telling reporters he was a fantastic man. And what had happened was a very sad thing. I mean, there's gotta be some skeletons in, in. Oh, Trump's closet as well, aren't there? There's gotta be, but who knows? I mean, yeah, all we can do is like speculate at this point, I guess, and I really don't know. But I mean, there's definitely pictures. Of him and Epstein together. There's uh, definitely records of him being around him. I think he wasn't on his jet at some point as well. I'm not sure about that. But yeah, it looks like there was some kind of connection there. But it's that thing again with Epstein as well, where we just. He seemed to be connected to everybody who was anybody at that time in one way or another. And if you wanted anything doing, it seemed like people would go through Epstein to make that link to get connected to somebody else. And so it seems like. That, that whole network of connections that he had, it, it does include everyone. So I guess we can't just say that there was wrongdoing on everybody's behalf. He was connected to him.'cause a, you'd think that it'd be impossible, but also that'd be a lot of people. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Plus I think of some of the dodgy, dodgy fuckers I used to know in Nottingham and stuff. And you think to yourself, well, I was connected to them and. But I wasn't, you know, wasn't privy to information about those people at the time. Like you imagine some of the dodgy people we would've been connected to just by like second being at the same party or something back in the day. So there's gotta be some of that, right? It's like, if you look at who's the A-list, who's the top level, like, you know, how many billionaires are there in the world? A hundred. 150, 200. I don't know. But it is not a massive, maybe a thousand. I dunno if I'm, I might be way off, but it's not a massive amount of people. It's like. Pretty much less people than would've been in your secondary school, you know? Yeah. And so it would make sense that he's gonna be connected to as many of those people as possible. Yeah. Including the lizards as well. Yeah. And there's always like, I dunno, there's, there's so many different just weird things that happened with this Epstein stuff and so many like weird coincidences and it, it's all just so. So random. Did you hear about the thing with, uh, the sulfuric acid? No. Uh, on the day that he was indicted back in 2019, um, I think it was six 50 gallon drums of sulfuric acid were ordered for delivery to his island. Um, so probably just a coincidence, uh, some people say, well, he was, would've been using like reverse osmosis to, to desalinate sea water, to produce drinking water. And you can, you. Can use sulfuric acid to clean the actual water filters. The manufacturer doesn't recommend it. And even if you did, you'd need like a really small amount. You wouldn't need like, or is it like 300 gallons of it? Hmm. Probably just a coincidence. And I dunno what else you could. Use that kind of acid for certainly not like disposing of any kind of evidence. It's probably probably just a, a weird coincidence. Yeah. I mean, maybe he was a hobbyist, collecting old bits of metal from the sea and just wanting to remove the, the copper and, you know, the, the, the oxide from the outside removing rust from metal. Probably he, he could do, uh, another, another weird coincidence that I found the other day. It was a guy called, uh, Jean-Luc Brune, who was like a, a modeling agency boss. And he was like found to be connected to Epstein and he was gonna testify against him at one point, but then. Backed out. Anyway, this guy went to prison for doing some pretty horrific things, but then coincidentally, he was found un alive in his cell in a similar manner to Epstein. Uh, and there was no surveillance cameras, there was no witnesses. Again, just like a, a coincidence. But I think with all of this stuff, it's like it's coincidence after coincidence all the way freebie's files, and it's kind of like. It's a bit like someone winning the lottery and getting struck by lightning on the same day. On the same day, but, but every day for a month. Yeah. They're the kind of odds of like so many coincidences and it, and it all seems to involve like highly influential people and it's just, it's so crazy. But yeah, there's not, but there's hardly enough evidence in any of the files that they've released to actually. Do anything about it. It seems like there's nothing really solid. It's just like, oh, well, it's just coincidence, but oh, it is just this name is mentioned. It doesn't imply anything, and it's like. But you can't have, but everyone knows there has to be something going on because you can't have that level of coincidence. It just doesn't happen in life. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bit like how when, you know, Russian senior leaders leave the government and then suddenly fall off the balconies in a, in a hotel, you know, it's like I've never known a country with the most unsafe balconies. That must be a nightmare. If you go and stay in a Russian hotel, you go out for a smoke on the balcony, and then there's like, there's only this high. You know, it, it's windy, right? And you just, oh, it just happened to fall off from the fifth floor. It's, uh, yeah. Who, who'd have fallen enough? One who was hired from the government or business. Yeah. It just, just happens. Just h in government and yeah, that, that did make me laugh the other day. Wendy, Elon must. Was like, I'm nowhere near as rich as Putin. I can't invade countries. I can imagine for media being all off. I go, Elon Musk reveals that he wants to invade countries. Yeah, but he's not allowed yet. Is it just a matter of time? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so, so moving on from one big steaming pile of bullshit to another one. There's a new law that's come out and. I, I, I think in principle it's a very, very good idea. Okay, so obviously everybody remembers the tragic incident that happened in the, the seventies or eighties where, uh, Liverpool were playing in a FA cup match at, at Hillsborough, and obviously 96 of their fans were killed because of. Actions of the police probably, but, but the investigation is still ongoing. A lot of people very angry about the outcome of it. And it's, it's come about that now there is a, a law called the Hillsborough Law, and this law will make it a criminal offense for prime ministers and cabinet ministers to deliberately mislead the public but not backbenchers. And apparently it will be. Yeah, it applies to heads of government departments as well, civil servants, public officials such as police and NHS staff, um, if they intentionally mislead the public in a way that is seriously improper. So mps and peers are currently exempt and, yeah. So two years in prison apparently, for lying. What do you think about this? Well, I thought it was part of a job description of being like high up in the UK government to. To tell lies on a very regular basis. I mean that's, that's basically what we've trained for the whole careers is how to get really good at lying to the public or it seems that way. I could be wrong obviously. No, we have no proof of that. Oh, no, actually we do. We have lots of proof of that. I think there's more proof of that than there is Epstein files. To be fair, there is, could be weapons of mass destruction, anything like that, but. Yeah, I mean, for one, how, how on earth are they going to police this? I think it's gonna be kind of impossible because for li well, you just end up like having. You'd have to replace the Houses of Parliament and because every six months all of them would be going to jail and you need like some kind of rotation of like in and outta prison, back into the House of Parliament and revolving door kind of thing. The prisons are like already overcrowded enough about us starting to put lying politicians in there, you know? Yeah. Can you imagine? How are we gonna cope with that? And I think it leads interestingly to the other story that we wanted to talk about today, which is like how many U-turns the labor government has done. You know, we're talking like 16 U-turns since they came into power. I think it's about to be 17 as well. There's another thing there. I think they're about to u-turn on the island that they're giving away or giving back. In the, oh, check us or something. Yeah. Yeah.'cause Trump keeps changing his mind about whether it's a good deal or a bad deal. Or a good deal. Or a bad deal. So, yeah. So there's, does is that, does that count as a lie? Is that misleading the public, like when Ki Stama said, came in and said, oh, I'm gonna control immigration, like is and then didn't, is that, is that true? Is I'm gonna be the best Prime Minister since. Thatcher, which is a sentence I never thought. Um, and then proceed to be the, the biggest stinking turd of a prime minister we've had ever like. Yeah, well like lowest approval rating in, is it 50 years or, or ever? I'm not sure. It's like minus 66 according to Ipsos, which is really, really low. I think if you're in your sixties and you've still got a quiff it, it just means you're a dick. There's no's like bro, yourself mark haircut or something like, come on, you used far too much Brill cream for a man in charge of a country. And this is true. Um, but yeah, I mean, I, I dunno if, uh, when it's U-turns, you could just say, oh, well, they could say we, we intended for this to happen. The same as when, uh, a party's trying to get elected. So for, make loads of promises that they can't keep. Uh, but they, their defense can be, oh, well we wanted to keep these promises. We just didn't. It's, it would be hard to prove the intent. That they, they were never going to keep these promises. Yeah. And that's why I think And even though, yeah, even though it is a form of lying, well it is, it's deception. But I dunno. Then there's gonna be ways, there's gonna be times as well when politicians kind of have to lie to the country. It's of national security. Yes. If there's some imminent threat, do you just. Tell the country and have absolute chaos or, or do you give away your secrets? I dunno. I mean, because if not, you pick population problems. Yeah. Iceland and McDonald's are gonna be closed for the next seven days because we've got this problem. Ah, oh shit. Um, but, but yeah. And also as well, it would be.'cause you could, you could have like a press conference and the, the reporter could ask for the Prime Minister or whoever a question and say, so is it true that blah, blah blah, blah. And they just have to say no comment. Because if you say yes, we could be giving away like official secrets. Uh, I, I dunno the level of lying that they'd be able to police that too. It'd be like the Vira dli where the, the guy You'd have to go No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no comment. Right, exactly like that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. My favorite line out of it is that they're gonna vote. About this amendment to the law so that it includes all of the back benches as well. And one labor source described it as Turkeys voting for Christmas, which it basically is, but I mean, don't have like. Votes like that are similar in the House of Commons, where every so often they're like, they get together and have a vote on should we have a pay rise or not. Surprisingly, everyone votes in favor of the pay rise. Yeah, I mean, I always say think it's quite offensive that they, they get, they get like fucking three months off in the summer or something, don't they? Like how long do they go on summer recess for? I am not sure Parliament. Sure. It's like a month or six weeks. Yeah. Parliament's, summer recess. How long? Uh, six to seven weeks. So like that just to me, like what, what's the point in them? Like if the country can run perfectly fine for seven weeks without any of them, then maybe we should just extend it to like 12 months. Yeah, I mean, I, I kind of, I've, I've wrote a, a LinkedIn post about this yesterday 'cause we, um, but it was a story we're gonna cover as well, how Larry Vaca has been there for like 15 years and he's been through six Prime ministers at one point he was three prime ministers in a year. And it's like if, um, if that was a, a company. If Apple was going through that many CEOs, you'd go like, I don't think I wanna invest in this company. It seems like there's, there's something up there. And investors would take the money out and really a Prime Minister is like a CEO, but of a country and it just seems like this one's a mess. And each time the, they seem to get consecutively worse and worse to the point now where you've got Stama with like the lowest approval rating. Ever. And uh, my argument was just, just put Larry Ard in charge, you know, he's been bad. He's, he's got a high approval rating. Everyone likes him. He turns up every day, doesn't mess anything up. Yeah. Yeah. He is low wages. He doesn't cost a lot. It's just a few cans of Whiskers a week. Yeah. I mean, other, other cat food brands are available, but. Well, I dunno why I'm talking like we're on the BBC or something, but nevermind. Well, what one day? Um, yeah, yeah. I heard that canceling. Have I got news for you? For temporally? Scripted. Oh really? Well I think that's a good move. Don't forget to like and subscribe so that you can be one of the people that was here before we were on the BB. C. Uh, yeah, I dunno. For BBC's the best place to go. It doesn't have the, the, the best reputation for certain things. No. Just so you know, ladies and gentlemen, we would not be seen dead on the BBC, but they would have, even if they paid us all the money in the world and a temporary scripted themed yacht, we'd still probably not join or just join and then say really terrible things until they had to take us off air and pay off our contract. That seems to be quite a common way that people do things. Um. Yeah, in the BBC. Oh yeah. Various people have kind of, there's been some like scandal where say something or something emerges, but then the BBC still pays them like a huge amount of money for like a year or something. Oh yeah. And they forget that like all humans, you know, we, as soon as something's not in the news for a few weeks, we just all forget about it. Like some kind of deranged goldfish, like, let's not get started on Hugh Edwards. Did anything ever happen to Hugh Edwards? I don't fucking think so. He just disappeared from the news and everybody just forgot about him. I think. I think there was some kind of like charges brought, but I'm not sure. I can't, can't quite remember. We have to find something, uh, nice. Just that he's, they're still waiting for him to return part of his salary that he's supposed to return. Um, yeah. So apparently they're making a new drama about it so that they can Oh, well I'm sure that'll be absolutely riveting. Yeah, I'm sure it will. I'm sure it will. So, I mean, crazy. Anyway, um. But yeah, I think a cat in power is probably preferable to most of what we've got right now. I mean, I've heard people are even considering voting for the greens, which is just mind blowing. Oh, there's some, yeah, but that's not, I don't think that's exactly how it seems. It's like that that is happening, but there seems to be this. Really odd thing where it's like, um, almost like an alliance between like the Green Party and uh, various Muslim kind of leaders in certain areas to like kind of form this almost coalition to make sure that like labor or no one else can get in, in certain areas or, that's what I've heard anyway. Mm-hmm. Interesting. I wonder what the deal is there. Uh, well, it's, I, I don't think they have a lot of views for really gel, but it's one of those things, oh, if we join together, we can beat these guys. And I think that's kind of what's going on, which is really odd. I mean, the color green, it's quite popular across both. Demographics, maybe. I think it's quite popular everywhere, really. Um, but yeah, I'm, I'm pretty sure that's what's happening in some areas from what I've heard anyway. Hmm. And then obviously the reform is the other side where people are sort of going towards, and Nigel is on the phone to Tommy Robinson going, please, please start recommending people that are joining. Please don't endorse anyone. Just shut up. Just, just do what you're doing. Tommy, leave, I mean. Once we get elected, we'll get you in parliament. Don't worry. Just, just buy your times then. Yeah. I imagine he ends up like chancellor or something like that. I dunno. But, um, but, but I, oh my God. I think, um, that 'cause from like the latest polls and things, if there was like an election tomorrow, it seems like it would be reform that would win. Yeah. Which would be crazy. Uh, I mean, and we dunno when the next election will be because what could happen with all this stama stuff that we've got got going on, he's probably not got long left. It could be like a week. It could, it could be to the end of the year or something like that, but I don't think there's anyone like really good to replace him. And that's, that's kind of saying something. And so you could end up in with, in this thing where a snap election gets called or something like that. And you end up with reform and Nigel is Prime Minister ni faster than we old Nige of a pound of beer and a cigarette and find a bitter outside. But I, I'd quite, I'd quite like to see it. Imagine the scenes. Process at the end of the road. It'd just be, it'd just be mental. But I think, you know, there's, there's a bit of a thing about, I, before Kiss Armor was Prime Minister or Rishi Soak or any of these, they never look like Prime Minister material. And then I think when they're in the job for a bit, you kind of, your perception of them changes. So they become like prime ministerial. It's weird. It's like, do you know what I mean? They seem like some random you've never heard of. And then suddenly they become. Prime Minister and after a year you feel like they're not replaceable by someone else, but really they're just the same douche that they were like before they got in much, you know? And, and I think, um, my prediction for it is that, so, you know, ki Armer blocked Andy Burnham, who's like the, the mayor of Manchester or whatever. Yeah. He seems like a right dick. Anyway, but he's basically, um. Blocked from doing the by-election because he's probably popular enough to come in and topple. Starer. Yeah, so my prediction is that now labor will lose that by-election because the person they put in isn't as popular as Andy Burnham. They're gonna lose it to like reform because people are gonna protest, vote to green. And then reform will get in, and then that'll be it. That'll be the nail. And Kirsten's coffin would be my prediction. You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. That's what's gonna happen, right? Place your bets now. Um, but I would say, yeah, betting for Stan to go after that by-election is probably, it's not financial advice, but it's probably what's gonna happen. Um, yeah. And, and it really, really could happen. Anyway, so I've, I've, I've had enough to talking about CES pits, so let's move on and talk about something else. You know, there's too many pieces of shit names have come out of my mouth in the last 20 months. 30 minutes. Yeah, exactly. I mean, there's some things for that are really interesting and it just sort of makes you go, oh, right, yes. Pretty crazy. But yeah, it's like sometimes you feel like you need some like Listerine or something like that after you've been talking about Starer or Andrew or Epstein. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't wanna be saying these names or thinking about them shit out of the wrong hole. Um, geez. Well that's, uh, something else new that you've heard here. First folks you heard here first. I think we should talk a little bit about matter, right? That's what we had up next, I think matter. Yeah. So, uh, take it away. Yeah. So basically meta has a patent, uh, describing an AI that could simulate a user's activity potentially even after daf, which, uh, raises quite a few big questions about, uh, well consent, uh, grief. And I guess we're back to that thing of like the attention economy. As well is that Mother Zucker still gonna demonetize me for comments I make posthumously from my ai. I think almost definitely 'cause the AI will replicate you perfectly and every six months you'll be kicked off Facebook and then the AI will go through the appeal process. And be graded by other ais that decide that the AI has no grounds for trying to get his account back for making a harmless joke on someone's profile. And here we are again. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, back to square one. This profile has issues. Uh, but yeah, you can imagine like a, a situation where there's, I dunno, 30 years in the future and we've. Save a population's about 6 billion, but then Facebook will have like 7 billion users because like it's, uh, just carrying on ghost accounts. Well, it already has got a load of like Nigerian princes and stuff on there that, that don't really exist, you know? Yeah. Well that was the, the mad thing with like, uh, Twitter a little while ago when it sort of started revealing. Where people had signed up for Twitter or X, whatever you wanna call it. But yeah, all these, there was a lot of like really famous accounts and things like that, and it's like different people that have like influence. And then it turned out it's like, oh, where did, where did they sign up? Oh, Pakistan Or some of like far away country. And it was all just like sort of bots or imposters or various things, which was. I felt kind of interesting. Yeah. I had a client start working with me once. You really wanted to capitalize on the fact that Tony Robbins had been commenting on their posts, uh, right. Facebook, and I was like, Hmm. Do I tell them they're breaking? As this guy had a really hard life and he just got into the, like, the coaching world, and he started to get a bit of engagement and stuff, and then he was like, how do I monetize this? I really wanna know how to monetize this. Look, Tony Robbins is sharing my content and commenting on my posts, and I'm like, think it's Tony Robs. I'm not sure it's, uh, I don't think it's Tony Robbins. Uh, I'm not sure. But yeah, it, it's, it's wild. So presumably. The, the, the idea behind this, if they've patented it, patented it, potato did it, whatever we call it, potato it, presumably now they've potato it. Are they gonna like charge families to be able to interact with their dead relatives? Is that the plan? It's like, oh, we'll keep that account. Can you imagine the outreach? Hi name. Sorry to hear that your dad's died. Would you like us to keep his account alive and run it with our AI so you can have the occasional conversation? He'll post money meme still. Like what? Yeah, it's, it's, it's crazy, isn't it? And it's just that thing of. It's like things like, uh, Facebook, whatever the social media, by constantly taking your data and using it to make money with selling it to other companies with various other things, and all your content that you put on there, you don't really own it. It's like it becomes part of what they own, and then after you die, they still kind of own your whole online persona. And all the, the kind of content and knowledge that you put into it, so much so that they can just keep it going and they, they would be able to do it really well. Um, I'm sure I remember reading something ages ago where the, the algorithm, uh, Facebook knows the average user better than their spouse knows them. Mm. The average like heavy user, not just for sort of casual scroller. And so yeah, they, they'd be able to replicate it really well. Yeah. And it's just, there's something so dodgy about it. And I just had this like sort of image in my head of like, say Mark Zuckerberg's, uh, uncle Dies or something like that. And he's like, far at like fiance's house. It's like, so, uh, uncle doesn't need that motorbike anymore, does he? You know, and it reminds me it's a little bit like that. Oh God, what a world, what a world. It, it, it, it, it is wild, isn't it? I mean, I, um, I remember once getting so annoyed on Facebook that this ad kept popping up, that I just, in protest, just kept clicking through the ad and clicking through the same ad over and over again. I was like, costing you every click. Then I how much time of your life that you never get back to that car view. I even considered making a bottle that would just do it repeatedly. But, um, or could you have one of those like, uh, you know, like birds that sort of. In a Simpson style. Yeah. Where Homer Yeah. Ends up causing a meltdown. Yeah, you could. And but I realized it's the same as like stealing ettes and sauces from McDonald's. Not that I've ever done that.'cause that would be wrong. Stealing's wrong ladies and gentlemen. No matter who it's from. But certain people that I, that I might have known, have done that. And then one, they realize that they're only a franchisee. So actually by stealing sauce and ettes from McDonald's, you're making McDonald's more money. Because the franchisee has to buy more of them from McDonald's. And it's the same with ads, right? And meta and all of this stuff. If you try and screw meta by clicking their annoying ads over and over again, you just make meta more money. Yeah. Because figure oh well your A's been clicked X amount of times. Yeah. That's it. I'm closing down everything and moving to truth social. Yeah. I think that's, that's a great idea. That's it. I'm done. I'm done. I'm over. Okay. So. Of course before we jump into our weekly top fives, which we've got a doozy on that this week. Um, I think we accidentally covered one of the things earlier on when we were talking about this law with with MPS lying, but that, that's another, another story. But we do like to bring something juvenile along before we finish and there's some smart underwear out now. It's great, isn't it these days? Smart Fridge just chuck an AI label on it. Smart windows smart there. Smart. Before you know it, you're gonna have like. Smart chairs. You probably already got smart chairs, I would say, but yeah, smart underwear. So researchers in Maryland University in the United States have created a wearable smart underwear that measures flatulence, which for those of you that don't have an IQ of above 105, uh, flatulence means to fart. So yeah, we've got fart tracking underwear, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure I'll be seeing ads for those on meta later on today. Now you've mentioned it near your computer, you probably will. Uh, but yeah, I think it's a, a great leap forward for all mankind. Uh, what do you think? Yeah, I mean, I think, what does it measure based depth? Uh, hu humidity, uh, decibels. Now it measures, um, yeah, so it, it tracks various gases such as hydrogen, and so by doing this, you could, you can kind of like monitor people's gut health and what's going on by the different kinds of gases that would be. Produced and it is, it, it's been invented and they're still going through, uh, like trials and things with it at the moment. So I'm pretty sure if you want, you can put your name forward and for, for Mike, send you a pair. Uh, but especially as we're promoting them so well on our show. Yeah, exactly. Well, I need that affiliate link, uh, and money somehow. Um, but yeah, I mean, it could be, it could be actually one of those things, but even though it sounds like a joke and it sounds crazy, it could actually be really beneficial to have that data to know about your gut health and microbiome and everything else. And it's one of those things that people don't. Don't really, I dunno how you would check, but, well, anyway, but it's something that people don't check very much. Oh, it's commonly talked about. But if you had these discreet. Smart underpants. I bet. I bet. The like horrible white, white, uh, y fronts as well. But maybe Mathson was testing them in that picture. Maybe that's, that, that would've been my cover story. Like, come on guys. I was just testing the pants. You've all seen the news, haven't you? Yeah. I suppose it replaces the need. Do you remember that, um, TV show from like the naughties in the UK where PE they get people to like shit in a box. And then they, that woman would, the Scottish woman would like look at their shit and decide what was wrong with their health or that she was like the antique roadshow for, for shit. Basically. She could tell you like what you'd eaten, what was wrong with your gut, all of it just by looking at a box of your steaming turd. What a skill. What a skill to have. I do remember that show, I wasn't an avid viewer of. Or anything of assault really, but. Yeah, it brings back memories. So, yeah. I dunno.'cause you can, you can learn a lot about someone from what comes out of them. And in some countries they actually have toilets for you. Yeah. And in some countries they, they actually have toilets that are kinda like fearful way round. So, you know. Same in the uk, you'd go and then it goes like into the water, usually, sometimes bounces around the side a little bit depending, but in some countries it's like the other way around so that you can like, take a look at it and assess from your own, uh, optics of what's, if there's anything bad there, well, I mean, can check the paper or, you know, because you gotta like. Make sure it's clean. Occasionally you get an angel, an angel poo. People call it a no wipe, but it's gotta be a one wipe.'cause How would you know it was a no wipe? You can't just like guess, can you? I think that's one of those paradoxes that's, uh, one of the most important to discuss. The viewers won't see this, but right at that moment in time, Adam, your face froze on sort of a confused. Like, what the fuck? Look. And I was thinking, wow, he's, he's held that really well. Is that, are we doing statues? Like, anyway? Wow. Awesome. I'm glad we got to cover that story. I feel like my day is complete now, but it wouldn't be complete. And neither would an episode of Temporarily scripted be complete if we didn't bring you our favorite segment. We are here again for our top fives. Adam, what have you got for us this week? My friend? Okay, so this week it is top five weird UK laws that are actually true. Nice. So we've probably all heard of like some, some of these in the past. Uh, I remember being told a while ago, but it was legal to, for us Scotsman. Or an Englishman to shoot each other with a bow and arrow on a certain day of the year if it, and I think it was like it had to be across the border between England and Scotland, over a river or something. Yeah, I've heard this. Like the yorkshireman to a, yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Some random, yeah, that turns out that's, that's not, not a thing. Which, um. Okay. Yeah.'cause I, I looked, I tried to like look for some of the crazy craziest ones, but I couldn't really find anything that was like completely. Unhinged in way that that is, it's a coverup, it's an inside jab. I think it must be. Uh, but he is some that actually are true. Uh, so one of them is, uh, the king's fish. So whales and sturgeon, and I think also like dolphins and pulpous are actually royal property, um, because these animals fall under royal prerogative rights. Um, and so if one turns up. In relevant circumstances, whatever that means, the Crown has a claim to it. Um, and so that means that if, if a whale washes up, it's uh. Technically Charles is, I think, or he has like a, a claim to it. So he owns Wales and Wales. Pretty cool. Yeah. Maybe that's why he is a Prince of Wales. I dunno. Again, there's these strange coincidences are everywhere, folks. That's crazy. All right, bring us on to number two. Uh, okay. Number two. There was, uh, the Salmon Act from uh, the, uh, 1986. This one's famous just 'cause it sounds a bit like a Monty Python sketch because it is a genuine offense, which is handling fish. In suspicious circumstances. Euphemism. Yeah, it just sounds like it. Uh, but yeah, to discourage like black marketing and uh, fish poaching. Uh, but I dunno. I just think it sounds really funny. I. I've definitely handled a salmon or two of my time in suspicious circumstances, I would say. Right. Well, what does, what does that involve? Well, I won't go into it now, but you can use your imaginations, ladies and gentlemen. Jeez. Okay. So in IT number three, which is a law that's still there from the licensing act in 1872, but it's actually, uh, illegal. To be drunk in a pub. I've definitely broken that one. Yeah. And it's center of Licensing Act 1872. Being found drunk in a highway or of a public place, including licensed premises, is punishable by a penalty. What kind of penalty? Like what? You have to stand up and stick your bum out and someone runs up from 12 yards, kicks a ball at your ass. Maybe that's how they did things in, uh, the 1870s. They didn't know VR at least. So, um, but yeah, that's, that's kind of crazy. It's just hard to imagine, like, especially when you go to like, pretty much any pub in the UK and just go, all right, so. Uh, that guy then sold illegal activity. Crazy. He'd be arresting like everybody on a Saturday night after midnight, wouldn't you? Basically, yeah. So I guess for, that's kind of why they don't enforce it. Um, and number four is no kite flying or annoying games in the streets. London and this, this again comes from like 1839. So yeah, it just basically means that it's offense to fly a kite or play at any game in a thoroughfare to the annoyance of residence or passes by. Um, I know. So it's not Kate's a band forever, it's just don't be a public nuisance of your hobbies, but it, I. Mm-hmm. Is, is, is that like the, the kite or is that like the bird of prey? I'm pretty sure it's for kite or in the, the toy. Uh, yeah.'cause I can imagine birds of prey swooping everywhere. Squawking, like, you know, eating your pet rat, that's gonna get weird, annoying, which is exactly what people did in Victorian London. I mean, what else was there to do? It there was that, that, and handling salmon in suspicious circumstances is pretty much all you could do back then. Well, this, which brings us on perfectly to number five because, uh, another 18, another 1839 classic, uh, you, you can shake a doormat for fun, uh, in

London, but, but only before 8: 55:26

00 AM. Hmm. Uh, yeah. So it's anyone who is in a thoroughfare beats or shakes any carpet, rug, or mat, uh, can be penalized, uh, with a weird exception carved out for doormats before eight in the morning. Mm-hmm. So it's all right to, to, uh, beat your dogma in the street. But it has to be before eight. I've, I've beaten a few rugs in my time, so I know what that's like.

Was it before 8: 55:58

00 AM Well, technically it's always before 8:00 AM If you go forwards, isn't it? Maybe that was like a, a get outta jail free card, but a lot of people used,

what do you mean it's before 8: 56:12

00 AM Just need a bit of lateral thinking. I just didn't think I was gonna get to make a rug related joke in this episode, but you've given me that opportunity, so thank you. Well, there you go. Uh, and well maybe next week the top five will be, uh, top five rugs from around the world. And we're definitely getting banned for that one for sure. Fantastic. Well, thank you Adam, for deep preparation into these. I was expecting to see you're allowed to pee in a policeman's helmet if you're pregnant. Um, but I don't know if that one is one of those ones that they've scrubbed out of the history, but. Yeah, I couldn't find anything on it. Maybe I should, uh uh, maybe I should look into it and give everyone an update if we need it, because obviously it's very valuable information. Yeah. If you're not busy this afternoon, Adam. Yeah. Could you find us another, another one or two? Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thank you for joining us again today on Temporarily Scripted. We'll be back again next week for our one year anniversary episode. One year anniversary. We've been making these episodes for a whole year now. We missed a week or two occasionally. But yeah, if you've supported us, if you become part of our viewership recently, as we've started actually getting more than 10 views in episode, we appreciate you. Don't forget, give us a like or subscribe a deranged comment and we will see you in the next one. Thank you very much, Adam. Yeah, thank you. See you next time folks, and keep the deranged comments coming in. Bye.