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Temporally Scripted
Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives?
We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses in Vietnam.
Now we're watching Western culture implode from 8,000 miles away.
From historical figures to simulation theory, from AI's impact to why clever people often end up miserable - we tackle questions that keep curious minds awake.
We're not experts claiming to have it all figured out, just two guys navigating a complicated world.
This isn't about optimisation or morning routines.
This is for people who know the best insights come from strange places.
New episodes of Temporally Scripted are available every Saturday.
Join your slightly questionable guides to personal growth.
Your reality might never be the same.
Episodes
71 episodes
ANDY BURNHAM: THE PM NOBODY VOTED FOR
Andy Burnham is the new UK Prime Minister. Number seven in ten years. Nobody voted. Obviously.Keir Starmer is out, the King of the North is in, and Britain's revolving door gets another spin.His opening offer: 20 percent off y...
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SAGRADA FAMILIA TOOK 144 YEARS. YOUR TOWN GOT A GREY CAR PARK
The Sagrada Familia is finally at full height after 144 years. Your town centre took a weekend to plan.Gaudi's masterpiece vs modern British architecture, and why we stopped building beautiful things.Barcelona spent a century and ...
OPENAI IS LOSING $20 BILLION A YEAR. SO WHO PAYS?
OpenAI loses $20 billion a year. Its fix? Offer the US government 5%.The AI bubble, ChatGPT's new ads, and the leaked financials nobody at OpenAI wanted you to see.Adam explains the entire AI economy using a sandwich that costs $40 ...
TRUMP PHONED FIFA AND THE RED CARD DISAPPEARED
Trump phoned FIFA, a World Cup red card vanished, and the USA lost 4-1 anyway.FIFA corruption, VAR conspiracies, and Folarin Balogun's very convenient reprieve.The 2026 World Cup has gone full pantomime. The President rang Gianni In...
COULD COUNT BINFACE ACTUALLY BEAT NIGEL FARAGE
Count Binface may be Nigel Farage's ONLY opponent in the Clacton by-election.Every major UK party is boycotting the vote, and the bookies are slashing the odds on the bin.Farage resigned as MP over allegations of undeclared donation...
THE LOUDEST HUMAN ALIVE ONLY SHOUTS ONE WORD
An Australian air con cleaner just shouted "NOW" at 122 decibels and became the loudest human alive.Two immigrants investigate the world's loudest man, and whether Jack could take the record.History was made this week: Joseph...
HOW THE UK HIGH STREET LAUNDERS YOUR HAIRCUT
Why is every UK high street the same vape shop and barber?We discuss, responsibly and without accusing anyone, the £30m laundering crackdown.Debenhams couldn't survive. Woolworths couldn't survive. And yet every town in Britain now ...
EVERY DELUSION IN STARMER'S FAREWELL SPEECH
Keir Starmer resigned. We read the whole speech so you don't have to.Two British expats go line by line through the most baffling political goodbye in years.Starmer is gone, the sixth UK prime minister to quit in seven years,...
THE US GOVERNMENT JUST KILLED THE WORLD'S BEST AI
The US government ripped away the world's best AI model and nobody's entirely sure why. Classic.Anthropic released Claude Fable 5, let everyone play with it for three glorious days, then got a phone call from the Commerce Department at ...
BRITAIN'S MOST DANGEROUS SPORT IS CHASING CHEESE DOWN A HILL
Britain's most dangerous annual tradition got conquered by a German YouTuber. Again.Every spring, Gloucestershire rolls an eight-pound wheel of double Gloucester down a near-vertical hill and invites the public to chase it. Bones break....
THE UK JUST BANNED SOCIAL MEDIA FOR UNDER-16S
The UK has banned social media for under-16s, single-handedly saving childhood. The state would never lie to you. Come inside, it's fine.Two British blokes in Vietnam on the under-16 social media ban, screen addiction, and the governmen...
THE WHITE HOUSE HAD CAGE FIGHTING ON THE LAWN
UFC Freedom 250 just put cage fighting on the White House lawn. We called it.Two British blokes react to the most absurd sporting event in political history.We recorded this before UFC Freedom 250 actually happened, and somehow real...
SPACEX IPO: PRICED AT 100X ITS REVENUE
The SpaceX IPO is the biggest in history, and the price tag makes no sense.Here is the trillionaire maths before SPCX trades.SpaceX is listing at around 1.77 trillion dollars, the largest IPO ever and seventh by market cap on day on...
A MILLION YOUNG BRITS JUST DROPPED OUT
A million young Brits aren't working or studying. We were both NEETs, so we'd know. Two expats unpack why an entire generation checked out, and where all the first jobs went.The UK just passed one million 16 to 24-year-olds not in educat...
TONY BLAIR NEVER ACTUALLY LEFT
Tony Blair quit politics twenty years ago. So why does it look like he's still running the country?Two Brits abroad dig into the Blair Institute, the billionaire money, and the net zero row with Starmer.Jack and Adam break down To...
WHY THE UK FALLS APART EVERY TIME IT HITS 30°C
The UK just hit 35°C and immediately fell apart. Again. Two Brits in 42°C Vietnam watch the chaos and ask why their home country can't cope with a warm day.The UK has broken its hottest-ever May record, and Jack and Adam break down the a...
TRUMP IS DAY-TRADING AND IT'S COMPLETELY LEGAL
Trump made 3,700 stock trades in 90 days while president. Nobody's talking about it. Plus Musk loses the OpenAI case, AI's $115 billion hole, and Southampton's spygate meltdown.Jack and Adam dig into Trump's Q1 2026 trading disclosure: 3...
FARAGE'S SECRET £5M GIFT EXPOSED AFTER REFORM'S LANDSLIDE
Reform's landslide just broke UK politics, and Farage's £5m gift could end it all. Two British expats break down a week of political chaos, fake food, and UFO committees.Jack and Adam unpack the 2026 UK local election earthquake: Reform'...
THE UFO FILES DROPPED AND THEY FOUND NOTHING
162 classified UFO files just dropped — no aliens, no proof, no smoking gun. This week on Temporarily Scripted, a British comedy news podcast, Jack and Adam predicted it days before the Pentagon release and got into ancient Egypt, lost civiliza...
BEAR COSTUME INSURANCE FRAUD GONE WRONG
A World War II veteran says he regrets fighting for Britain. Half of young Brits say they wouldn't do it either. Jack and Adam sit with that one longer than usual — and it turns into the most honest five minutes the s...
SHE DRANK 14 TEQUILAS & GOT $300K ...plus deepfake politicians & a 12ft support alligator
AI deepfakes are now good enough that people genuinely can't tell if a politician said something or not. That's where we start this week.Jack and Adam break down how AI-generated videos of Starmer and Trump ar...
NASA'S $30 MILLION TOILET BROKE ...plus Claude leaked & a fake AI doctor "billionaire"
NASA spent $30 million on a space toilet. It broke halfway to the moon. There's a burning smell. Nobody knows why.This week on Temporarily Scripted, Jack and Adam dig into the Artemis re-entry, the most expensive bog i...
DID WE FAKE THE MOON LANDING? ...plus Meta fined $375M & a 194-year-old tortoise crypto scam
The boys are back after a two-week break and the world hasn't got any saner. This week on Temporarily Scripted, Jack and Adam unpack the Artemis moon mission (and ask whether we even went the first time), ...
Banksy Identity Revealed, Meningitis Outbreak & Goldfish Breaks Driving Record
Banksy's been unmasked. Reuters did a massive investigation and traced him back to an original arrest 20-30 years ago, plus eyewitness lineups in Ukraine. The mystery artist might actually be Robin Gunning (later David Jones). We're...
Oil Hits $100 A Barrel, AI Costs $600 Billion & Woman Gets 13 Years For 25-Year Captivity
Oil's over $100 a barrel and we've all had to trade our cars for bicycles. Well, not really, but fuel prices are mental and Vietnam's government just abolished fuel duty while the UK is... raising it. Brilliant.This week on Temporally Sc...