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Temporally Scripted
Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives?
We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses in Vietnam.
Now we're watching Western culture implode from 8,000 miles away.
From historical figures to simulation theory, from AI's impact to why clever people often end up miserable - we tackle questions that keep curious minds awake.
We're not experts claiming to have it all figured out, just two guys navigating a complicated world.
This isn't about optimisation or morning routines.
This is for people who know the best insights come from strange places.
New episodes of Temporally Scripted are available every Saturday.
Join your slightly questionable guides to personal growth.
Your reality might never be the same.
Episodes
58 episodes
A MILLION YOUNG BRITS JUST DROPPED OUT
A million young Brits aren't working or studying. We were both NEETs, so we'd know. Two expats unpack why an entire generation checked out, and where all the first jobs went.The UK just passed one million 16 to 24-year-olds not in educat...
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TONY BLAIR NEVER ACTUALLY LEFT
Tony Blair quit politics twenty years ago. So why does it look like he's still running the country?Two Brits abroad dig into the Blair Institute, the billionaire money, and the net zero row with Starmer.Jack and Adam break down To...
WHY THE UK FALLS APART EVERY TIME IT HITS 30°C
The UK just hit 35°C and immediately fell apart. Again. Two Brits in 42°C Vietnam watch the chaos and ask why their home country can't cope with a warm day.The UK has broken its hottest-ever May record, and Jack and Adam break down the a...
TRUMP IS DAY-TRADING AND IT'S COMPLETELY LEGAL
Trump made 3,700 stock trades in 90 days while president. Nobody's talking about it. Plus Musk loses the OpenAI case, AI's $115 billion hole, and Southampton's spygate meltdown.Jack and Adam dig into Trump's Q1 2026 trading disclosure: 3...
FARAGE'S SECRET £5M GIFT EXPOSED AFTER REFORM'S LANDSLIDE
Reform's landslide just broke UK politics, and Farage's £5m gift could end it all. Two British expats break down a week of political chaos, fake food, and UFO committees.Jack and Adam unpack the 2026 UK local election earthquake: Reform'...
THE UFO FILES DROPPED AND THEY FOUND NOTHING
162 classified UFO files just dropped — no aliens, no proof, no smoking gun. This week on Temporarily Scripted, a British comedy news podcast, Jack and Adam predicted it days before the Pentagon release and got into ancient Egypt, lost civiliza...
BEAR COSTUME INSURANCE FRAUD GONE WRONG
A World War II veteran says he regrets fighting for Britain. Half of young Brits say they wouldn't do it either. Jack and Adam sit with that one longer than usual — and it turns into the most honest five minutes the s...
SHE DRANK 14 TEQUILAS & GOT $300K ...plus deepfake politicians & a 12ft support alligator
AI deepfakes are now good enough that people genuinely can't tell if a politician said something or not. That's where we start this week.Jack and Adam break down how AI-generated videos of Starmer and Trump ar...
NASA'S $30 MILLION TOILET BROKE ...plus Claude leaked & a fake AI doctor "billionaire"
NASA spent $30 million on a space toilet. It broke halfway to the moon. There's a burning smell. Nobody knows why.This week on Temporarily Scripted, Jack and Adam dig into the Artemis re-entry, the most expensive bog i...
DID WE FAKE THE MOON LANDING? ...plus Meta fined $375M & a 194-year-old tortoise crypto scam
The boys are back after a two-week break and the world hasn't got any saner. This week on Temporarily Scripted, Jack and Adam unpack the Artemis moon mission (and ask whether we even went the first time), ...
Banksy Identity Revealed, Meningitis Outbreak & Goldfish Breaks Driving Record
Banksy's been unmasked. Reuters did a massive investigation and traced him back to an original arrest 20-30 years ago, plus eyewitness lineups in Ukraine. The mystery artist might actually be Robin Gunning (later David Jones). We're...
Oil Hits $100 A Barrel, AI Costs $600 Billion & Woman Gets 13 Years For 25-Year Captivity
Oil's over $100 a barrel and we've all had to trade our cars for bicycles. Well, not really, but fuel prices are mental and Vietnam's government just abolished fuel duty while the UK is... raising it. Brilliant.This week on Temporally Sc...
America Invades Iran, Police Work From Home & $23K Cat Feeding Hustle
America's gone into Iran, killed the Supreme Leader, and sent an armada to the Middle East. We're breaking down what's actually happening, the insane cost of shooting down $20K drones with $3M missiles, and whether this turns into another decad...
BBC Left Tourette's Slur Unedited For 12 Hours & Thai Police Dress As Lions To Catch Criminals
Prince Andrew's is now banned from riding horses. Because nothing says "I'm innocent" like giving up your favorite hobby on PR advice from your team.This week on Temporally Scripted, we're diving deeper into the Epstein files (it gets da...
Prince Andrew Arrested On His 60th Birthday & AI Will Keep You Posting After Death
Prince Andrew arrested on his 60th birthday. Mate, you can't write this stuff. The first royal arrest since King Charles I in the 17th century, and Thames Valley Police picked the day he turned 60 to do it. We're discussing what hap...
Prince Andrew, AI Psychosis & Why The Moon Rings Like A Bell
The Epstein files saga just got deeper. Andrew Mountbatten Windsor — formerly known as the Duke of York, formerly known as Prince Andrew, formerly known as... no wait, that's someone else — is now under formal investigation by Thames Valley Pol...
Mandelson, Epstein & The Files That Changed Everything
What a week. The Epstein files have dropped and it's absolutely mental. 3 million documents, connections to everyone from Mandelson to the Royal Family, and some of it reads wilder than fiction.This week on Temporarily Scripted, we're di...
Cow Uses Tools, Elephant Kills 22 People & The Welsh Health Ambassador Controversy
⚡ EPISODE 41! Solar storms mess with Jack's crystals, Johnson & Johnson faces 67,500 cancer lawsuits, and a one-tusked elephant in India has killed 22 people. Plus: AI caught memorizing entire copyrighted books word-for-word.⏰ TIMES...
55 MPH Wheelie Bin Breaks World Record + China's AI Breakthrough & Brain Powder Exposed
🎉 EPISODE 40! From yogurt conspiracies to 55mph wheelie bins - we've officially lost the plot. Today: Keir Starmer's latest U-turn, creatine as "brain powder," China's AI leap, and the British engineer who made a wheelie bin go faster than most...
Are Psychopaths Born Evil? Plus Venezuela Chaos & Victorian Tapeworm Weight Loss
🎯 HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026! Our first episode of the year covers Trump's audacious Venezuela move, whether psychopaths are born or made, and ChatGPT's surprisingly boring "human for a day" fantasy. Plus: stolen valor, Birmingham's phanto...
Our Festive Special: Weight Loss Drugs, Driverless Cars & Christmas Disasters
🎄 MERRY CHRISTMAS from Temporally Scripted! 🎄Our festive special covers everything from Ozempic launching in India to robo-taxis invading London, plus the most chaotic Christmas blunders in history. Grab your eggnog and settle in!
£12 Billion COVID Fraud Exposed + Chernobyl's Mutant Animals Are Evolving
A baby seal walks into a bar... no really, it happened. Plus: the UK's staggering COVID fraud scandal, mutant animals thriving in Chernobyl, and a 61-year-old legend who built a 123mph garden shed. 🔥 TIMESTAMPS:00:00 Intro - Ol...
Physicists Just Proved We're NOT Living in a Simulation
Physicists at UBC claim they've mathematically ruled out the simulation hypothesis. Plus: a judge got fired for wearing an Elvis wig to court.Jack Austin and Adam Garcia explore whether reality is real, why Carl Jung is trending on TikT...
Facebook's Secret Study: Our Platform Makes You Depressed
30,000 people paid $6 for boxes of actual cow dung on Black Friday. Meanwhile, Facebook buried a study proving their platform causes depression.Jack Austin and Adam Garcia uncover Meta's hidden mental health research and count down the ...
AI Song Hits 2.3 Million Listeners (But There's a Catch)
An AI-generated country song just hit 2.3 million monthly Spotify listeners. Plus: someone's suing for their human right to eat Vegemite in prison.Jack Austin and Adam Garcia uncover the truth behind the "first AI #1 hit" that isn't qui...