Ep3: Authenticity

Dive into Episode 3 of the Journey of You Podcast: Authenticity Unleashes Joy!

Authenticity isn't just about being real, it's the key to unlocking deeper joy and connection. Join Devin and Chris as they explore the transformative power of authenticity and how it paves the way for a more joyful and fulfilling life.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Personal stories: Devin shares her journey of navigating depression and discovering the power of authentic expression, while Chris reveals how inauthenticity creates barriers in her relationships.
• Actionable insights: Discover how authenticity fosters genuine connection, expands your world, and allows joy to flow effortlessly.
• Guided exercise: Devin and Chris lead you through a powerful visualization exercise to help you experience the contrast between inauthenticity and authenticity, and embody your true self.

Get ready to embrace your authentic self and tap into the boundless joy that awaits! ✨

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If you loved what you heard, we'd love for you to spread the joy! ✨

💗 And if you'd love to get in touch or work with us, you can find us here:

Devin's website: https://drdevindegreif.com

insta: @drdevindegreif

Chris' website: https://chrisbrandwein.com

youtube: @FreakToGeniusChannel

✨ Credits for the fun background music go to "JK_Production007" on audiojungle!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

I imagine for all of us, right? Like that level of

SPEAKER_02: 0:04

self-manipulation is really stressful. Yeah. It takes a lot of energy and it really just tires and wears you out. Like when you're in a situation like that, where you feel you have to show up in a certain way that is not you.

SPEAKER_01: 0:17

Welcome back to another episode of Joy, the Journey of You podcast. We're your hosts, Devin and Chris, and we're here

SPEAKER_02: 0:25

for

SPEAKER_01: 0:25

joy.

SPEAKER_02: 0:26

This podcast is your permission slip to reconnect to your inherent joy and to embrace it. Let's fill up the cosmic joy

SPEAKER_01: 0:34

pot together as we dive in to today's episode. Hello, hello, wonderful people. Welcome back to the Joy Journey Podcast. We are into episode three today, and today's episode is all about authenticity. Such a juicy subject. You can feel it, right? Yeah. All right. So here's the juice, you guys. All right. Here's the thing. Authenticity actually leads to joy. I know. What? What? Wait, what? World shattering concept. I know. Okay. I know you guys know this, right? Okay. So here's the thing is that when we are authentic selves, like Joy is going to be overflowing. It just leads to unending joy and expansion and connection and vibration. The world matches you when you're really living your authentic self and you're going to see that reflected and it's just going to overflow to you. And then conversely, if we're inauthentic, we're just totally going to be robbed of joy and expansion. And I know you guys know this on some level. You may not even realize you know this, but in your heart of hearts, like, you know when you're being inauthentic. You know when you're being authentic, right? And we're just going to dive deeper into, like, so what's your lived experience when you're living in each of these states, right? And, yeah, we're going to have some fun and be joyful about all this authenticity piece to it. And so... So yeah, so a story really comes to mind to me about timeframes in my life where I was being inauthentic and really what was really actually happening. You know, when I was in the thick of my depression after losing my mom when I was 23, being joyfully and being authentic in myself was really tough because like going out in the world, being depressed, it's like most people are not going to sit down at a coffee shop and have a conversation about depression, right? And so it was really tough for me to navigate living amongst people and being around people while everybody was just going on with their lives and everybody seemed joyous. And I was like, I can't like fake this, right? It wasn't a fake it till you make it. I just genuinely did. not have joy in me. I was very sad and depressed. And so a lot of times when I would try to like put on the hat, you know, like put on the mask of being like fake happy or at least just like fake okay, right? And just be like, I'm okay. And just like, let's pretend I'm okay, right? If I tell myself I'm okay, I'll be okay, right? Well, here's what ended up happening is when I would go out into the and be pretending that I was okay when inside I really wasn't. And I wasn't actually sharing that. It's a lot of times I was just up in my head calculating, just like, what does this person want for me? What's her problem? And I was judging people and calculating and just basically not being present, right? Just like totally in my head judging and like basically just get me the hell out of here. Like, when is this over, right? So it was a very survivalist energy, right? And it was really robbing me of that experience and that ability to connect to people and expand my world. And then, you know, the more that I actually learned that people actually wanted me to authentically share about what was going on with me, right? Especially like loved ones. But even more as I really started to open up and share more about my pain and my depression and my sadness, but from an authentic place, like not from a like sugar-coated, minimize it place of like genuinely telling people, like I'm actually struggling and here's what I'm navigating and sharing some of those, what could be considered deeper, darker emotions. Those are the timeframes that I would actually have a lot more connection and people would say to me oh my God, thank you so much for sharing. I can see you now. And what would happen in that moment is my heart would open and there would be this whole connection with people that that when I was trying to hide it, it wasn't, I was just like literally cutting off a connection to people and cutting off a connection to the joy that I could share in the moment, even though it's not like the exuberant joy I exist in and share now. But at the time it was just like, just a sliver of joy, please. Right. And, and I was getting those slivers of joy, but it was more in me being authentically myself, no matter what state I was in and just sharing with people like, yeah, life's a little shit right now. And, and, And not from like a poor me, like, oh, my God, you know, feel sad for me. But just being like, here's what here's here's the truth. Here's here's what I'm struggling with. Right. And in my experience, it really, really opened up channels for me to be connecting with people, but also seeing that I was going to be OK and that people actually wanted to see the real me and not just a painted up version that looked good for the world. So that's been my experience around authenticity. And I know Chris has her own and love to hear, hear your experience too.

SPEAKER_02: 5:28

Yeah. I want to share it from experiencing inauthenticity, not within myself, but within others. So it, I realized that I really struggle to connect with people who wear like that mask. And yeah, What I have found is that it is especially when people are insecure, like they feel like they will not be accepted or have been taught that they don't fit in if they are authentic. So they try to match expectations, right? And that puts such a big wall between me and them to a point where I even struggle to start a conversation because I'm like, I cannot, I cannot, grasp anything like i don't i don't know what's behind that i don't know what to connect to and this is so intense for me at times that i i go mute at a party i'm like i'm mute and when When it's somebody that is authentic in whatever state they're in, like if they're in their deepest chip or enjoy or fun or whatever state they're in, if they're authentic, I connect. I know like I have questions. I'm interested. I'm curious. I'm, you know, there, there is a flow and they're like you said, there's a connection. But if we put this wall of, I need to fake this to become acceptable, then it's, it's a wall, it's a disconnect,

SPEAKER_00: 7:05

right?

SPEAKER_02: 7:06

And the other experience I want to share is that between Christmas and New Year's last year, we had a little book retreat in a little tiny town here in Germany where I met with my illustrator and a theater director who's also part of our little team. And I had met the theater director before, but not my illustrator in real life. And we had this little Airbnb in the boonies and like they had never met before. And like, we're just going to this place in the middle of nowhere and snowy winter. And we don't actually know these people. And, um, And it was so awesome because it was so authentic. You know, like we wore pajamas all day long. Whoever wanted to cook, cooked. Whoever wanted to sleep, slept. Whoever wanted to write, wrote. Whoever wanted to draw, drew and go for a walk or take a bath. It was so authentic and in flow. And the energy in that was amazing. so magically connecting it's it's hard to express but that's because everybody had the space to be fully authentic right and that's like like it created a really deep connection between the three of us and it was beautiful and and and like that um i know it takes guts to be authentic at times because we um We have that inner egoic agenda of if I show up as myself, people might not like me anymore. If I show up frustrated or angry, if I'm not my happy self, then they might not like me and they might talk bad about me or whatever, you know, and that's like this big fear. But if we overcome that and just are happy, And with that, allow others to be authentic themselves. It creates a whole different sphere of being. And it's really so beautiful. But it does take guts in the beginning. I get that.

SPEAKER_01: 9:27

Well, I mean, I would say even along the whole way, right? Because of those goat beliefs. And, you know, as you were saying that, it was like I wanted to invite everybody to, like, notice your trend in yourself of, like, the reasons why you might believe that you need to be inauthentic. Because those are really going to be really keys as to essentially your MO within your ego of, like, when you'll engage in that. But, you know, from what I was sharing, basically it's like whether or not we're experiencing, we are– we know inauthenticity in ourself. We know inauthenticity with other people. And right, as we're sharing that, it's like, it's interesting because we can always, a lot of times I notice that people can really see it in other people, but it's like, we all experience that. You know, when you meet somebody that just like, you can feel the inauthenticity and you know, like just reflect on that in this moment of like, what do you feel? Like, how do you feel compelled to engage with them? Do you feel compelled to engage? Or do you want to run? Or do you go mute? Or do like, right, there's a reason why we have these responses to that energetic field that that person is emitting. But if we're only seeing that in other people and we're not like really taking that self-responsibility of like, okay, so, so when am I doing that? Exactly. Right. When am I? And then, and then noticing like, that's what's, that's what your world's going to show you. Right. Just the same way we see ourselves repel away from someone essentially with inauthenticity. You'll probably find in your own life that things are going to be repelled away from you if you're inauthentic. Right. And then vice versa. Right. So let's dive a little deeper into it and experience it for ourselves of really of who we are in each of these modes, if you will. Right. So we're just going to we're going to try them on for size with each other. So, again, if you're driving, please be safe. And with eyes open, you can go through this activity. You'll still get the benefit. But if you are able to close your eyes and really immerse yourself in the sensory experience of this, then go for it. I welcome you to. So what I invite you to do is imagine that you're inside of a circle, right? Like it's just an imaginary circle around you. And the space inside of this circle is who you are when you are inauthentic. So just start noticing how you feel about yourself, how you show up in the world, how you view others, where your focus goes. Are you focused on problems? Are you focused on solutions? Are you focused on... Just notice. Who are you when you're being inauthentic? Yeah, like I was sharing earlier, for me, when I'm in this space, it's really there's a lot of internal management. Like I'm thinking a lot and I'm really working inside of myself of trying to figure out how to navigate the world and how to show up. And it's exhausting for me. Yeah. What's your inauthentic circle like for you, Chris?

SPEAKER_02: 12:19

I really tune into other people's expectations of me and what, like in different circles, people will expect different things of me because I wear very many hats. So I'm a scientist. I'm, you know, like I do these very many different things. And so in each circle, people have different expectations of how I show up and I, In ways I can do that authentically, but there's also very many ways I do that inauthentically, like where I notice I have a resistance against myself. And I am now able to say no, but you know, I can go beyond that resistance and still be authentic. But it took me, it was a journey to get

SPEAKER_00: 13:06

there.

UNKNOWN: 13:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:07

Yeah. I mean, and the truth is that we all have the, even though like Chris and I are trained in this sort of work. And so we can tap into our authenticity in any given moment, but the truth is we're still going to have this propensity to drop into inauthenticity, especially when we're stressed, right? Like you were saying the expectations. I think that's a big piece to hone in on this piece is because even in my circle of inauthenticity, it was what I was externally focused, right? It's very aware of like, I have expectations to be met. So I'm me personally, I'm so concerned in myself. How do I meet those? What do I need to manipulate myself or do And it's just stress, right? It leads to basically for me, right? And I imagine for all of us, right? Like that level of self-manipulation is really stressful.

SPEAKER_00: 13:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 13:49

And it takes a lot of energy and it really just tires and wears you out. Like when you're in a situation like that, where you feel you have to show up in a certain way that is not due, you just can't leave fast enough. I mean, I can't. Maybe you can.

SPEAKER_01: 14:07

Get out of here. Run. Yeah, so I think we're all gathering, right? So, like, notice for yourself who you are and how you exist and where your focus goes when you're in your inauthentic circle. And just see, right? Like, we're just really showing and seeing that, like, yeah, it really does rob you of that joy and expansion and those big experiences of life. Cool.

UNKNOWN: 14:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 14:28

So now we'll go to the other side of things. Go for it, Chris. Take us away. Just wipe that out and

SPEAKER_02: 14:36

let go of all of that energy and all of those thoughts and the emotions and everything that came up in that circle. And I invite you to imagine yourself in a situation where you are Amongst people you truly love, who love you exactly the way you are, no matter what you wear, no matter what you look like, like just straight out of bed and all pajamas and everything. And you're still loved and you're still accepted and you're cherished and celebrated exactly as you are. And just imagine that, being that person. How does that feel? How does your body feel when you are in a situation like that where you can just be exactly who you are and know that that is perfect? And yes, you can still grow and yes, you can still change and you can still learn and expand and do all the things. But right here, right now, exactly as you are is exactly how you are meant to be. And that is your authentic self. And to me, that just feels so expansive and so held. And at the same time, I know when I am in my authenticity, no matter in which vibration I am, no matter which feeling I'm feeling. I know that by being authentic, I'm allowing others to be authentic as well. And that just gives so much freedom to the whole group, to the whole field that I'm in in that moment. And maybe you can feel that as well and really recognize the effect that that you have both when you are inauthentic as well as when you are authentic and again really anchor that in that this is who you came here to be and who you came here to help others to be to allow others to be and you can choose who you want to be and this needs to be edited out

SPEAKER_01: 17:19

and as you're noticing who you are in your authentic circle just relish in that and like get a sense of how you are how the world is and yeah for me as Chris lovingly brought us into that, it was really for me, Chris, that... It was just, I could speak truth, right? In that space, I could speak truth. There wasn't the internal conversation. It just like flew out of me, my truth, right? Of whatever was going on. And it allowed me to meet, it's like I was meeting people in my humanity, right? Like not trying to be anything other than humanness, right? And our humanness is a little messy, right? And so being able to be messy and then give permission for other people to be messy and like see each other in our humanity. And it was about being seen. And, you know, when you added that layer of giving to others it's like unknowingly giving to others right to like in that authentic circle it wasn't like i was consciously like trying to give to others or like knew that like or like there was an ulterior motive right like i'm gonna be authentic for the sake of others right it was just like being authentic for the sake of being authentic and then it just so happens to benefit others too oh look at that exactly and that's the beauty of authenticity right right is really that It's just so natural that it's just natural that it flows over to everybody else, right? Yeah, that's what was really obvious to me in my authentic circle.

SPEAKER_02: 18:53

And I also want to say that that's what I love about us working together, that we authentically share our shit. When we get together, we say like, like, look, this is my shit today. What's yours? Show me yours.

SPEAKER_01: 19:08

Yeah. And it's like, it's like authenticity begets authenticity, right? It's like, as soon as we open up and bear our soul to other people, people are like, Oh, I get to, to

SPEAKER_02: 19:16

exactly. And it's like, it makes it, it makes it so it normalizes it right it's like we all have our shit it just that's just being human right and and being authentic in that and owning that is just so powerful and then you know you can own the joy you access the joy through that because you owned this you get that

SPEAKER_01: 19:42

yes yes totally yep you own this you get that

SPEAKER_02: 19:50

yeah

SPEAKER_01: 19:50

Right on. You own the shit, you get the sparkles. There you go. Own your shit, you get your sparkles. So you guys, what was your shit? What was your sparkle, right? What was in your authentic circle? What was in your inauthentic circle? We would love, we would love to genuinely hear from you. And so share in the comments on our podcast page and let us know who are you in each of these spaces, in each of these aspects of yourself. And then we invite you to choose. Which one do you want to be? How do you want to show up in your life? Which one of those versions of yourself would you like to intend and focus on living and becoming? And just make that choice for yourself.

SPEAKER_02: 20:30

Yeah, go for it. And then notice what changes in your whole experience of life and in your connections and experiences. Like when you are in your authenticity, it doesn't have to be brutal. It doesn't have to be like hardlining it. It doesn't have to be in your face. But it can just be your gentle truth and owning that and just showing up as that, knowing that just knowing in your heart that you are accepted as you are by the people who are meant to accept you, who are meant to be in your life. you will be accepted as who you are.

SPEAKER_00: 21:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 21:13

And we just want you to experience that for yourself and like do an experiment, like try it out, you know, go out into the world and be like, Hey, so what if I tried it out today? And you can start off small, right? Like if it's just going to say that, you know, like when you go to the grocery store and people, you know, people ask you like, how are you doing? And everybody gives the normal, like, Oh, okay. Right. Maybe you can be German. Actually give a true answer. Yeah. Be German, you guys.

SPEAKER_02: 21:40

Tell them your truth. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 21:43

exactly. Right. And not like dramatic about it. Right. Like, I love that you were saying that, Chris, because like you could take this a little far. Now you're you're you're we can be a little bit of playing with this idea of authenticity of just like, let me just share all my drama. It's like we're not drama and just like load on everybody. But it's this it's there's this balance of connectivity in that authenticity. And then if the moment is there to share deeper than by all means, please. But. I don't know if the, if the, the sales clerk at the grocery store needs the last story, but yeah, try it on for size of what, what these little connective moments are. And yeah, And do let us know, right? We love to hear from people because this is, again, what we're about. I think we said it last couple episodes is really is this is all about the experience, right? It means nothing for us, for you. If you just sit here and just listen to us, like it's cool to get information, but like try out a little energy experiment, like see just like see if something changes. And it's like we hand the baton over to you, my friends. We hand it over to you to be like, give it a shot. Give it a whirl. See what happens.

SPEAKER_02: 22:47

And let us know. Because we would love to hear the

SPEAKER_01: 22:52

effects that it has and how it changes things. And what happens when you, you yourself, show up in your authenticity. So here's to you and your authentic self. And until next time. See you then. Joy to you.

UNKNOWN: 23:16

Bye.