Permission to be different with Megg Thompson

Megg Thompson (our Blox bestie) is spilling the tea on Flinstones vitamins and teaching us her VERY special way of helping neurotypical and neurodivergent people to navigate the world together. Megg is a professional speaker, certified behavioral consultant, and a beacon of hope for parents in the neurodivergent community. The SPOIL method:

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https://meggthompson.com/

@meggthompsonbehavior

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https://linktr.ee/shesgotguts

Lara @lalaswellness

Molly @womensguthealth 

https://www.supercube.club (use code MOLLYISSUPER for 20% off)

Transcript

 Today on the podcast we have Meg Thompson, sparkly magical behavioral consultant for neurodivergent people in a neurotypical world. Meg provides clear and innovative love-based strategies to inform success for both children and families. We are obsessed with Meg's compassionate, unique approach, and you will be too.

This one is for anyone who's seeking to better navigate challenging behavior, emotional wellness, and all the joy surrounding friends and family with autism, A DHD, and more. 

So welcome so much. Thank you for coming here.

Oh my gosh. I'm so excited to be here. I love seeing. Everybody and talking to everybody. I, I always say I'm a, um, professional podcast guest 'cause I could, I have drunk can't make a podcast, but I could guest them like the best of the best and the best of the best guest.

I love it. I'm happy that your drunk squirrels are here. I'm so happy to see your face. This feels like a blocks reunion, which is kind of poignant, and that our season is coming out here in the next week, so that's kind of fun.

It is kind of fun.

And one thing I learned about you on our show is that you make a neurotypical or non, non divergent brain and the way that they navigate through the world full of sparkles and fun and empathy and care and love and education, and just build one of the most beautiful containers for people that have a brain that moves to the world a little differently to thrive.

And it's so.

That's a great compliment.

Well, you're amazing. Um, Molly and I were curious if you can kind of, you know, define for our listeners what is the real difference or is there any difference between, you know, neurotypical neurodivergent, like, can you get our vocabulary correct here so we're all on the same page from the start?

Yeah, so neurotypical is what it sounds like. It's just typically how. Brains are designed right in a normal, we're putting that in quotation marks in a normal way. And then, um, right, I go, I dress up in really obnoxious sparkly outfits and I go into schools and I do assemblies, and I teach kids with a neuro diversity umbrella.

It's rainbow. And it has, and I say, so sometimes the brain works differently. Science loves it, and they love the patterns of that brain like. So Down syndrome, gifted autism, A DHD, anxiety, dyslexia, dyspraxia. All right? They have such different patterns that they research them, found them so interesting, and then gave them a name.

So when I go, um, right, I had a boy with a DHD say to me, he goes. I have a DHD and I have to keep it and I can't let it out in school. And I was like, And I said, ah, buddy. I said, what do you do? He goes, I keep it all in, but you said I could tell the teacher, so I'm gonna try that now. That might help. And I'm like, oh.

And then I had a kid behind him say, I'm autistic. And I said, what? I said, your brain was so interesting that scientists found the patterns, gave it a name. Now there's information on just your brain. There's not information on just my brain. And he goes, no one's ever been excited about that before. So, so it's just Right.

It's just finding different patterns. Neurotypical brains have patterns. Neurodivergent, brains have patterns. Kids with autism have patterns, kids with, right. So that's my job is hunting for those patterns. Um, so when I, right. I went to a school yesterday and today and within five minutes I was like. We, you should talk to those parents about maybe a neuropsych eval because that child has a lot of patterns that fit in the autism spectrum category.

And when they get diagnosed and now you know the patterns and you can have the strategies for that kid and I, and it's like, right, it's like, oh, I had this book. This one's not good. We're gonna put that one away. I got this book now and now it has the stuff that like actually will help. So that's the difference between them.

Just I think it's a different book. It's a different pattern.

Oh, that's a great explanation.

Thanks. So like it's my job, Molly.

so tell us a little bit about what, 'cause you know, obviously you're on, she's got guts and that means that we are gonna talk about food in one way or another. So tell us kind of, okay, when someone comes to you, what are, what are common things that you see? What are some stories that you wanna get out there to, you know, moms and.

Then other people who are listening who have, who want to kind of approach their neurodivergent friends and family in a way with more understanding and compassion.

Well, um, meaning food wise, since.

Wait, we can start with food or whatever you wanna say. You're, you're the

Um, so I think that I have been responsible for being in a home or in a classroom with kids that are neurodivergent and it's highly hereditary. So if you have three kids and all three kids fit under that neurodivergent umbrella, it's pretty likely there is, um. Parent or someone close like an aunt, uncle, grandfather, grandmother, that is also neurodivergent.

So I've been responsible for the parents going, wait, I didn't think that was weird, or strange or odd or different, but, I think I might be autistic. Or A DHD or I, right? Or sometimes I ask like. If the child's highly anxious to anybody in, in your house anxious, and the mom or dad are like, yep, Uhhuh.

And I said, have you ever told them that? Have you ever shared strategies? Have you ever described how your brain works? Because just having someone in your house that also, right, so you're not like the weird person in your family. Uh, I had a just last in this past year. A little girl that got, she's three diagnosed with autism, and then the mom's like, oh, we kept blaming it on my husband and I think it's me.

And then her mother realized it was her. And so I would go and do a home visit with the 3-year-old and the grandmother would pull me aside, I just need five minutes. I just need five minutes.

Aw.

and she's like, is there a reason to get a neuropsych besides, it will explain a lot. And I was like, that's the exact reason to get it if you can.

If. Insurance will pay for it, or you have money to pay for it. 'cause if you don't have insurance, it's like thousands of dollars that, yeah, that alone could change your whole life. Like, oh wait, is the this the pattern that I fit into? Oh, everybody fits in that pattern this whole time. I just thought I was weird this whole time.

I just thought that's why I was so anxious. That's why I had no friends. That's why I ate that way, or that's why I slept that way, or that's why I couldn't. Never felt like a fit in. Right? Sometimes that means that mental health can flip and change, right? Self-esteem can flip and change. Um, so I think that it's really important to not, uh, so like, but I always say, guys, it's not 1985.

You need new information. 1985 being neurodivergent was a death sentence, right? If your child's autistic, it's like, what? Oh my gosh, it's not anymore. Now it's just like a, you just have a. Different pattern that they gave a name and now you're gonna find things specific for your pattern. It's not. And how cool is it if you're a kid at four and you're autistic and then your mom realizes, or dad realizes, or uncle realizes, and now you have someone to go on that adventure on a different path with you and you don't have to go by yourself.

That's a pretty cool thing, I think, to not have to do that alone. Right.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm so curious about this hereditary piece. Meg, are you talking more genetic or epigenetic in a sense of this is your DNA or this is a learned behavior and obviously I'm assuming it's both, but can you kind of speak to that a little bit?

Uh, so it's genetic, meaning hereditary? Uh,

Like, I have this, you know, this gene was passed on to this person, or like, the way that my genes expressed themselves within the womb or during certain development was the same as my parents, or, you know, then it, the next layer would be what were we around? What was our behavior? What was our exposure to things?

That's like the epigenetics part of things.

Right. And I always say, I say it in a, uh, hysterical, crude way, I guess. Like when the sperm met the egg and they like made a baby, right? You think that none of the autism, none of the anxiety, none of the A DHD like. Went together. You think it just like, it,

Yeah.

gassed it out or something like it, it,

Mm-hmm.

Right. So I often have family members that are, oh, he's just like my brother. And I said, did you think your brother might have fit into a different pattern? Oh yeah. He is always had a hard time. He is always this, I said, baby. Talk to, you could talk to your brother about that because just having answers, I think, right?

Imagine going through your whole life not understanding who you are because you, you're like looking at the wrong book or you have the wrong strategies, right? Um, and the nurture part. Right. It's never just nature nurture. You two know that it's

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

nurture, right? Like, uh, food wise I was a picky eater, but I also was nurtured into being a picky eater because I, um, got given my own meal.

Even though my mom's like, I'm not gonna give you one.

Ah,

And I got one anyway. 'cause I wanted and cried about it and everybody was like, shut up. So they gave me my own meal and um, so right. So that was a nurture piece and a nature piece

Mm-hmm.

as far as my life anyway.

Yeah.

could these genes be turned on by, like, let's say the buzzword right now is red dye. Is, is anything like that, any kind of, um, nutritional factors or other things, or could they make it more likely that your gene will express, uh, some of this neurodivergent behavior?

Well, I think it makes it so right. Uh, I always say, um, food, right? I have a, uh, challenging behavior and nutrition, uh, workshop and I was like, I have something. I got guys in, what is it? I got it in 2000. So that was 24 years ago when I first started. No, 2000. I think I've had it 12 years, not 24, 12 years. And it is an Mann's cake that I got at the Dollar Store.

That's not where you should shop, by the way, for Mann's cake. And

Is it stale? Is it stale? By the time it gets

it is stale, but if you look at it, it is not, it is not green. Still to this day.

right?

Still, it's hard and you wouldn't eat it, but there's so many preservatives that it never molded or

Oh, wow. Yeah.

never hit it. Right. I've never opened it, but I'm like, so I

little Saran wrap is not.

right, right,

It's not a hyper bear chamber.

Um, I think that if you can adjust food and dies, it is helpful to do so, especially with. Children with a DHD, right? I went to a house, two kids with a DHD, and when I went there, the mom's like, they're like off the walls and I was like, I get there at dinner, bedtime, and they're not off the walls. I was like, I must have came on a good day.

I was upstairs reading books with them trying to like figure out. Where's this a d, adhd I keep thinking, hearing about. And um, the mom calls 'em down. They went downstairs, they came upstairs about 15 minutes later. They were like basically climbing the walls, hanging from the curtains. And I was like, WTF, what just happened?

And I said, when you called them downstairs, what'd you do? She goes, I gave them a flint, their vitamins, which was a Flintstones vitamin, which has red 40 in it. And they were highly susceptible. Uh, m and ms do the same thing to these kids, uh, these two specific kids. And so I, I said, well, first of all, Flintstones D doesn't do anything in the vitamin category. There's no like one a day, right? They, they shall lack a one a day. You just poop it out the way you put it in. There's no, nothing in your body. Uh, so I said, let's, then I went with the mom to like the. The health food store and we found something for the kids in gummy form that would actually, that actually had things that would, she was looking for and without dyes, and the kids weren't, I mean, they still had their, their A DHD patterns, but not the ones that climbed on the wall and the ceiling at night. Right. That's the hard part. Like she was tired, she wanted to go to bed, and these kids were, they were so bongers. They were

Yeah.

and I was like, they were just not bongers. What did you do? Did you give 'em, did you feed 'em all the caffeine when they went downstairs? What happened? So it can make it worse.

So if you have kids that are. Struggling neurotypical or neurodivergent and they're struggling. Food is a great place to start. And you're gonna start taking away the dyes. You're gonna start taking away those preservatives and additives and introducing whole foods. But try, but, uh, the only, and the only way that would be bad is if you're introducing, right.

If you're like, we're gonna have avocados and they're allergic to avocados, right? Or something. So we have to watch out for allergens, but that is a pretty safe thing to start with. It's hard, right? Especially if you're, like, if your kid's used to Oreos and addicted to the sugar, right? Isn't, you two would know better than me, but um, I've heard, uh, sugar is more addictive, more addictive than, uh, cocaine. Right? In terms of wanting, yeah. Yeah. Pretty bad. Then we hit this road that it is harder for neurodivergent kids if they have a safe food, if they have something that they've always had, and it's the food that comforts them and they've had it over and over and over and over and over and over again.

It's, and, and that's maybe the thing that's causing. Added stress to the child and to the family, then now you have to take it away. That's a pretty challenging thing. So when I was, right, I started this 12, 12 ish years ago, or almost 13. 'cause my son was 13, I started right when he was born. I, thought, and I'm embarrassed to say this, but I thought, if kids are hungry, they'll eat. And you just Right. Don't. It's dinner time. They're not gonna eat dinner. Well, then they go without dinner. Or that dinner turns into the late night snack, or that dinner turns into breakfast the next morning, right? Until you get a child who will actually not eat. Because they're not, they can't, sensory wise, they can't, there is a huge portion of the neurodivergent community that have what they call neurodivergent guts.

It's just like gas. They have gastrointestinal issues. So many of them, and so many people talk about it and it, and you, you both know that I think poop's funny. So there's a lot of talk about poop and stuff in that community and um, I think it's really tricky. When you think like, just to eat your food, first of all, you can't make kids eat.

You also can't make 'em sleep. Go to the bathroom or talk. So if you have a child with any sort of like willful temperament, they're going to not eat. But if, right. I remember when covid happened, there was this, uh, you know, the mac and cheese and, and I used to judge this, so I'm gonna tell you what I used to think because I used to teach kindergarten and the kids came with.

Lunch boxes and they had the craft macaroni and cheese chef boy, RD one, that you take the top the metal off, but the thing, um, on top and you put it in the microwave and it, um, I would've said was gross. Well, this neurodivergent child, that was their safe food. That's what they had. All the time. And the mom had a hard time finding it during Covid and she was like, does anybody have it?

Does that, she was asking everybody, can you go to your stores and look, uh, because she knew that her child was not going to eat.

Uh, right, right.

so people, I mean, right. The world is still good, like. Sent her stuff, chef Boy or di or Kraft Macaroni Cheese, whatever one it was, found it, found her, and then sent her all of it and like pallets of it.

So she had it forever or for Right. Couldn't, couldn't be forever, but, and then the child ate and for right off, Molly, you a parent? Yes.

No.

No. Okay. So Laura and I know that right, if your kid doesn't eat right. Then you're like, I guess if you have pets, if your pets don't eat, you're like, something's going on and it really hard.

It's so stressful. It's so stressful. You're like, my one thing to do is to keep you alive, and to do that you need food. And now it's turning into a battle and all I wanna do is love you and nourish you and give you what you need. And there's this huge roadblock in between that's really hard.

You can't make 'em do it. Right. You can't. Right. So then I am fighting all these people who are like, first of all, it's okay if they have a safe food and that's what they want to eat all the time. That's where we're gonna start. You're just gonna keep doing it.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, but, and, um. Kids that can eat other things or don't have safe foods, or don't have neurodivergent guts.

Um, we turn it into, you get dessert. If you eat your food, you, uh, get right sticker charts. You know, I don't do any stickers, tickets, tokens, points clips or candy and any sort of reward

rewards.

Right? No rewards. And, and we definitely wouldn't do it between, uh, around sleeping, eating, and going to the bathroom because you can't make a child do that.

So then they're fully in charge and. I think even neurodivergent guts get this reward system and they're like, but I can't do it. I can't. Right. There's a thing called Arfid two, you guys.

Yes. I work with that a lot.

yeah, yeah. So that is really tricky and I follow some people who write the big thing. Now, where is the Arfid community?

They're, they're people trying to, um, it's so cute. I think they're trying to do taste tests and they're trying to challenge themselves.

Oh yeah.

I follow a lot of accounts like that and, uh, they've then met each other. They've like flown across the country to meet each other and it's

Oh,

cute, but it's like very particular.

One of the, um, Torin is one of 'em, and he tried a grape tomato. He was like, no, thank you. I was like, you know what, I've never eaten a grape tomato because

yeah.

I can't eat raisins. So like when I think that kids are being, what we would say is fussy or picky, right? I do that in quotation marks. I'm like, that's like if you're like, Meg, this is what you have to eat.

You're gonna have raisins and grape tomatoes, and I'd be like, I'll die.

Yeah. Yes.

not. I'm like, I don't know how hungry I'd have to be for those two things to go in my mouth and choose them.

That's how I felt at a recent experience.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I think that we have to be very patient with where kids are starting and we have to, I think, drown out that, uh, parents really like to judge other parents, so we have to drown out that piece of right. I'm not,

So one

don't judge my family and what I'm trying to feed my kids. Right.

yeah, for sure. So I have noticed in my experience of being around, um, children with autism or a DHD or whatever, is that there is a pull towards. Then some of those comfort foods are often, uh, very gluten or um, cheesy. And I wonder if the component of like that innate draw towards foods that make you feel good.

Like you understand that when you eat this, it makes you feel good. Not only because it's not disgusting, texture wise and all those other sensory parts that come into it, but also like you feel good. Recognize that that's a short period of time that you feel good, but that you feel good, and so you naturally like want those foods more.

So I'm curious if you find that like, you know, and that's kind of a slippery slope too, if you are dealing with children that have some gut issues and you're trying to quote unquote clean up their diet, but that makes them feel good and it's their safe food, like how do you approach slowly navigating that in a non-traumatic.

And it has to be so. Slow. So I probably, the thing that's hardest for me is I'm hugely flexible. Like I can, if you were like, you're gonna go on a trip tomorrow, Meg pack right now, and we're gonna leave at five, I'd be like, warm or cold weather? I'm going. It's

Oh

right? Like I'd go and my husband's like twitches on his right side.

He is like, oh, so I'm hugely flexible and it makes me good at what I do. But when kids are inflexible or parents are inflexible, just either by nature or they're inflexible, right? Kids are inflexible with food because it makes them feel gross

Mm-hmm.

texture. They just can't do it. So. You have to go so incredibly slowly that it feels like you're not going anywhere.

Sometimes, and I'm thinking of this mac and cheese girl, of I'm thinking I couldn't eat mac and cheese. I am lactose color and I'm gluten-free.

Yeah.

but if, but I wasn't always. So if that was my safe food when I was 10 and it's still my safe food, but I've had so much of it now that my body's like, and you're done.

'cause that's what my body did with gluten and milk. oh, Meg, you've had enough of that. No more for you. And I get headaches and stomach aches, right? Um, that what happens if I grew up and that's just what I eat because that's what I'm used to and that's what just how it is. And I think if you're 10 and you've had the same, right?

If I started that at 10 and I'm grown up and I'm still eating it at 47, it's obviously nu nourishing enough to get me to 47. For 37 years. Right. Um, but we do have to be careful, uh, how we introduce things. I think that's why that's our food community is trying these like fear factors because it has introduced new food for them and they're like, this would actually, this could add, be added to my safe food list.

So how can you do that in a fun way, but not in a way of like. Doing it so when you lose, you feel bad, or when you lose, you get something taken away. Or when you lose, you don't get another. Right. If you eat this, then you could have your, whatever. You could have a second helping of whatever. Or you could have the dessert or right, like you wanna take all that stuff out, but that makes it feel like it goes real slow and you feel like you don't have a lot of control over it.

I mean, really you have no control over food for somebody else. ' cause if you. You just wouldn't,

Well, it reminds me of even working with adults who have GI issues because when you limit and limit and limit your diet because things bother you and you're on low fodmap, and then you're like, oh, you know what? I have to avoid seed oils. Oh, you know what? I'm also gonna do zero sugar.

Oh, and then, then I saw this thing that you shouldn't have fruit. And they come to me and they have like five things that they eat and they still feel bad. I'm like, listen. If we don't start to introduce things that you've never had, like, so if you're afraid to bring back all the foods that you eliminated, then we've gotta bring in things you've never had and try those because Yeah, exactly.

You get in this box and you're so scared to come out of the box because you don't know what's gonna happen. So whether it's in an emotional way. Or in a physical way. And a lot of times what I see is that even with the adults who are neurotypical, there is a huge emotional component to getting off of those foods that they consider safe, even though they still don't feel well.

So I'm, I'm really just relating to everything that you're saying, and this is really, you know, helpful to hear, I think for a lot of people.

Yeah. And I, and I, and food is, like you said, is tricky. So we just have to be so careful with kids when we're introducing new foods or Right. Taking away foods that we are. Right. And maybe a, as a. Parent, you can do it too. Say, you know what? I eat Oreos every day and I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna see if I feel better with Oreos and Right.

Can you keep a d Daily Journal with them? Right. So again, you're not, it's not a kid on this path by himself or he is just like, here I am, I have no one to turn to because no one else understands what I'm going through. and we just have to be careful that. there's no, mental health piece that, that we've created, right?

So neurodivergent kids can, when, when don't have food. The emotions are big, like you said, Molly. Um, they could have a meltdown. And a meltdown is really different than a tantrum. A tantrum is, I'm gonna throw fit right now. Because I want something, I want a toy or I want the cookie or a meltdown is, uh, so the neurodivergent community says when the meltdown starts, there's nothing they could do to stop it.

They have to ride the wave. They have to go all the way through, and they have to wait to be done. And if you don't know what to do, we do a lot of too close. We do a lot of talking. We do a lot of stuff that they're like, they wanna be like, shut that up. Right? They wanna like, but they can't even access that.

It just makes them. Further into the meltdown. We don't want burnout or crash out either. We know that nutrition helps you stay healthy and does all the things that nutrition does. but when we are trying to mess with nutrition and we're trying to rush it, we have a lot of kids in meltdown

Yep.

can write a, I mean, I'm neurotypical, but I have had meltdowns when you just can't do it anymore.

Right? You're just like, and the day sucks. I have no food in my house and I can't blah, and I ate and I thought this was gonna make me feel better, but now I have a stomach ache or Right. Like, oh, I can, I can because I, even though I'm gluten-free, I can have a little bit of gluten, but I don't, I don't really test it ever.

So sometimes I have like a little bit too much of gluten and I'm like, damn it. And when you have a headache, what do you do? I can't undo it. I already ate it. So like, drink water. Drink water, drink water. So what happens when you're four years old? I.

Right. Yeah.

something and then there's the all these systems in place to make sure that you're successful, but they're fast or they're cause a meltdown or they, right.

We have to be very careful of that

So what are good ways for people to monitor that? You know, because I'm thinking about how, you know, if you are working with a neuro. Divergent child and you're exploring going really slow, like getting their microbiome more diverse, which takes time. And you notice that certain things may or may not work.

Like are you, do you have like a, a rule of three, like, we try this three times and if this keeps happening, we cut it out, or you know, do you have any kind of like. Yeah, like little rules that you use. I know every child is different, so a lot of the time you're gonna just do what works for them and keep the container safe and avoid trauma and help them enjoy food with their community and their family.

but you

And that's the important part, is to enjoy the food. And so, um, I don't have a rule necessarily except write it down. There's something about writing it down. There's something about kids seeing you, writing it down for yourself, if you've taken part in this adventure as well and writing it down for them.

And then you say, you know, we had macaroni and cheese on this date, this date, and this date, and I wrote. Sick. Sick and sick. I know you want macaroni and cheese. What do you think we should do? And a lot of open-ended questions as much as they can.

Mm-hmm.

Right? And this can be with verbal or non-verbal kids, right?

So, as much as you can let them choose. 'cause sometimes they're like, I want the macaroni and cheese. Okay? But there's something about writing it down. So you write, so you write it again. You write sick again and then when they want it the fifth time. So we've done this four times and I always do lighthearted and humor like you think the fifth time is the time that your body will like it.

I don't know about that. Maybe. Maybe it's the fifth time, but then, but then while you're trying to take that out, what's like, what parts do you like about it? I like the texture. Okay, let's try to find one texture wise like that. Let's try to find the cheese like that. Let's try to find some neurodivergent kids.

It's 'cause of the color. If they change the box done, it could be the same ingredients. The box will set you off, set them off. So, so you have to go slow and write it down, like box changed and, right. You could put box changed and then say like, should we make the mad face? You know, we should get like emoji stickers and put the, like, you know, the one that's really mad and his face is red.

Let's put it on that. But I wonder if we eat it. Maybe you want me to take the first bite? Maybe I'll just take the first bite and I'll tell you if it tastes the same. Right. So like, but again, you're just like, just eat it. It's the same thing. Just eat it. It's gonna end up in a kid not eating it.

Right.

What you, what you do with your ability. To help humans feel seen. Meg is so special, and I can hear that throughout all of what you're saying right now is that the common theme is, I'm gonna stand beside you. I'm not gonna stand in front of you and point my finger at you, you know, in a. You know, dictator sort of way.

Like this is the way it should be. You're standing beside them, putting yourself in their emotions in their mind as best as you can, and kind of watching what works and doesn't work by almost experiencing that with them. And I, you know, it sounds exhausting and extremely effective, like all.

Yeah. And that's why I think people reach out to me because it's exhausting. It is effective. But if you can have someone right there walking with the kid and you're walking with them, so it's like, right, uh, what I do that no one else does, like, you get my cell phone number, you can, right. I have, I know I have a one right now that 21-year-old that has a hard time and he'll text me and say, hi, Meg.

It's always, hi Meg. That's the first one. Hi, miss you. I've only met him one time my entire life, um, but I see him every week on Zoom. I miss you. And then like the other day, it was, I wanna hurt myself. I need help. But like a regular, a regular, I'm gonna put say therapist. I'm not a therapist because that's not my title, but a regular person who would help you can't.

That is one of his strategies is to talk to me about it and I know what to do. I said, remember moving pianos helps you. Remember that, um, listening to Tomorrowland music helps you remember going for a ride helps you remember looking at your bikes and your fans help you. Did you do any of those five things? He's like, I just put on Tomorrowland music. I said, do you wanna bring that up to the fan room so you could see the fans? But there are sometimes where he'll take that from me. His mom's, like I said, all of that. But it's the, I'm the helper, right? I'm the one that walks with the mom that walks with this.

He's a man, right. 21. So, that I think is something different that I do, is that you can email me and say, I'm having a tough time right now and I know I don't see you till Thursday and I know it's Tuesday, but I need some guidance.

Aw. How does your heart fit in your chest?

Really?

I think I don't want anybody to ever, right. I don't want anybody to feel like they wanna hurt themselves or. Somebody in their family because they just had it.

Yeah.

Remember, it's hereditary. So if the child can have a meltdown, so can the adults and the adult. Having a meltdown is a very dangerous thing for a child to see and for an adult to not have help with.

What about community? Are you familiar with community stuff for families that are experiencing that? Like what kind of resources are out there for families that are all kind of in it? They're like, we are in the storm of this right now. Besides, you know, if reach, I'm assuming that reaching out to you is obviously a great way to go because you are a fabulous, large hearted human, um, and can understand, uh, well, you know, what would you kind of suggest for people that are, you know, experiencing this, where, where do they start?

Obviously being gentle with food is a great way to go, but how.

Um, so I think there are, depending on what state you're in, right? There's lots of different things I think that I. I usually have people who have tried the community supports, but they're looking for someone who will go slow. Right. I'm, uh, actually very, I say popular. I'm gonna do that in quotas famous in the, uh, foster adoptive community because I give the foster parents and adoptive parents permission to slow it down.

You were, I know you did training. The training you got wasn't that right?

Right, and fixing this isn't a fix you issue. This isn't like you're.

So sometimes the community supports, I'm not saying all of them, but sometimes it is, Hey, you're gonna come to three workshops, you're gonna learn this stuff and you're gonna be able to magically make it different.

Mm-hmm.

really how it goes. Um, so they need someone to. Longevity wise, be there more long term.

And a lot of community supports aren't as long term. And I think there are some, but I think they're very, um, state centric. Right. They're state based, right? I mean, I'm in New Hampshire and then Oregon and then you in North Carolina, Molly, or do I make that up in my head?

South. Right on the border though.

South Carolina, I really got the Carolina.

You really did. I know.

s need a sticker or a point or something? I dunno.

it was our, it was our moment in the airport at 4:30 AM I think that really cemented.

Sleep and

We made it.

on though. Did I know I took Myles?

Who knows what you had on? Um,

True,

I know we're tight on time. Will you please come back?

Uh, a hundred percent, yes.

so you are also famous in the SEO world. If you Google Meg Thompson Behavioral, um, she will come up number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

has two Gs. I don't know if you put one

Baby.

if you have one GI don't know if I, I don't know if I

Oh, it all has two Gs.

I'm telling you. It's, it's your website, it's your Insta, it's your threads, it's your YouTube. I am so impressed. Facebook.

I do

Um.

for that.

Well, I was like, they are doing it, but also you are such an amazing person and we would just love to continue talking about this. I could do this all day, so please, please come back.

Same. I will come. Oh yeah,

But last, last words. Now that I've interrupted you twice, um, talking about last words for anyone who's out there that listened to this podcast and is like, okay, well what the heck? You know, I think I might be neurodivergent, or I think my child might be neurodivergent or my niece, uh, or whatever.

Where would they start? What, what would be something that they could do?

This is what I'm gonna leave with. I didn't mention it at all because I was hoping you would ask me for my last thoughts. It's like you've read my brain, so. Um, I am sassy and feisty, as you both know. And so when someone says, what do I do with someone who's neurodivergent, or if I am, or whatever, I say, well, you gotta spoil them.

And spoil is an acronym, so you're going to slow it down. That's the s you're going to put it on the shelf or prioritize, right? Is it the food that you have to prioritize with? And it's not the sleep. Like if you try all of it, just like in a diet, you're gonna stop your diet, right? Uh, always overwhelm what overwhelms the child.

It's usually lights, sounds, crowds, smells. I is interests. If you have a neurodivergent kid, it's almost always, uh, do things that are interest-based, right? If you're gonna change food, uh, maybe get new plates if they like, uh, met kid today that loves lava, like, can you, how could you incorporate lava into this big change of food?

Right? So. So

I.

and um, information. Like I said, it's not 1985 anymore. We need new information around neurodivergent brains in the best place to get it is actually not me, is someone who is in the neurodivergent community. But I work really hard to be the person that you can come to, even though my brain is not wired that way.

Um, and the L is lived experiences. Go and find people on Facebook, people on social media and find and ask them questions, right? I also am pretty. Popular in the, uh, two SL lgbtq i a plus community. Um, and I am none of the letters. Um, but I have a lot of kids who are that way and will seek me out even though I am not in that community.

So, um, because I do a lot of, get a lot of information, a lot of neurodivergent kids fall into that community as well, and adults fall into that community. So we have to spoil the kids, right? The S-P-O-I-L. So that's what I would say those five things. Wait, SPOI. Yeah, those five things are really important, um, to start that journey because it gives you permission to jump outside the neurotypical box that you were stuck in where you thought, I don't count.

Something's wrong with me, right? My mental health, my self-esteem are really bad. I'm gonna get out of that box and now I have permission to do all those things I said to F-P-O-I-O. And I think that's really important.

Mm-hmm.

P permission

Put it on the shelf. Put on the shelf, and prioritize. Prioritize. Oh, it could also be permission. I'm gonna add that.

Oh, hey.

Look.

Yep. Permission to do those things like little kids need permission. 'cause otherwise they see all the other kids doing these other things and you're like, oh yeah, but their brain works differently than yours.

So they're doing what works for their brain. You're gonna do what works for your brain.

Yeah.

Well, and even as adults, we need to give ourselves permission to be who we are, right?

And talk to ourselves nicely. We talk to ourselves very, I would never talk to either of you. Sometimes, like I talk to myself, which

Right,

healthy.

right. That's true. I.

So hard on myself and I was like, I would never do that. I would never do that to ever.

Right. Well just imagine us sitting here saying Uhuh.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thank you. Okay, bye.