human design, healing & what comes after therapy with Becca Post

in this episode of all our parts, i’m joined by therapist + coach becca post for a bold and refreshing convo on what it means to really support clients in their healing journey — beyond just traditional therapy.

we get into:

🧠 how becca integrates human design into therapy + coaching

✨ what it means to embrace your whole self in the healing process

💬 the power of real, authentic client-provider connection

🌀 how her after therapy program helps folks move from surviving to thriving

🫂 her upcoming workshops + community events focused on embodied growth

if you’re a healing girly, a self-discovery nerd, or you’re just tired of the same old mental health convo — this episode is your vibe.

🎧 connect with becca:

📲 Instagram

🧵 Threads

🎙️ Podcast

Transcript

It is very rare that the algorithm does its thing, works its magic, and connects you with someone like minded, super cool, and  could potentially take over the world with you. But that's in our, it's in our, it's in our plan. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to All Our Parts. I am so, so excited to introduce my guest today.

She is a therapist. She is a coach. She is a badass. Becca, thank you so much for joining today.  Thank you. It's kind of, you're right, it is kind of wild. I have not let the algorithm run it, do its thing, but this is like a soul connection of like multiple lifetimes. Oh, for sure.  So to even share how we met, Threads, I was like, Oh, let me, let me get on Threads.

And I put out a call out for podcast guests.  She responded when I tell you our 30 minute conversation could have been a four hour cancel the day conversation.  It really could have been it. It is amazing to connect with someone and to be able to recognize like you are not a silo in some of the values and beliefs that you share. 

And it's kind of wild, too, because I was also on threads like willy nilly, like, let's just see what happens here. I don't know what this is. I hated Twitter, so why would I like this? But doesn't it give, like, early, early Twitter? Like, when you would just post, oh, eating my cereal. What about you?  Yeah. No, it really does, actually.

I didn't think about it that way.  But it really does. You're just like, Oh, I like lucky charms to you.  Becca, tell us about yourself. Tell us about you.  Yeah. So as Jaz said, I'm a licensed clinical social worker in Utah, but I actually grew up on the East coast. Um, I've lived in Utah for about 10 years  and honestly, um, it's a wild ride living here.

I'm being a therapist. Um, I built a group private practice, um, starting in 2020.  Primo time for mental health, right?  Uh, and then as my clients were moving because their jobs changed or life changed during the pandemic. I was like, hmm, you don't really need therapy anymore.  Uh, what would it be like if we did coaching?

And it blossomed into my entire after therapy, kind of coaching  modality and experience. And a lot of it, honestly, I've been rewriting this over and over, I think over the last month or so, because  I, as a clinician, like, trained, right, am wired to educate people and, like, feel like I have to convince someone why they need to heal. 

And it's so interesting working now, like, in this duality of coaching and therapy because, uh, people who seek coaches don't want you to convince them to heal. They, like, actively want to heal. Versus in therapy, sometimes it feels like  I'm pulling some strings to, like, get you. Mm hmm.

 Hiring my first coach while still seeing a therapist and being like, wow,  my life is so much more productive.  It's kind of bananas.  And so I was like, what if I did this thing? And so I did it.  And you're doing it. I'm doing it. On a good day, I'm doing it.  On a good day, on an okay day. You're still showing up.

Yeah.  Yeah. Still showing up.  So you incorporate human design into your after therapy work, right? Actually incorporated into everything. So it's like, I, yeah, I use human design with my therapy clients. I use human design in my parenting and the daily life. I use human design and how I run my business. I use human design.

Specifically, like, more in depthly with my coaching clients for sure in after therapy because I think  it offers more  of a concrete, like, path and direction for people, um, but it's, like, incorporated now in, like, everything I do. How did you, how did you make that leap? How did you decide human design is in tandem with the work that you wanted to do? 

Oh no, you cut out.  Okay, am I back? I'm back. Okay,  I got that you asked. How did I learn? How do I make the leap to incorporate human design and everything? Yes. How did you decide  human design goes in tandem with the work that you wanted to do? 

It's a really great question. Um,  honestly, it was. so impactful for me as like the receiver of it. When I had my first reading and I started diving into it, that I was kind of like, my world makes sense. Like there were just so many things about myself that I believed were broken or wrong or I needed to fix.

And when I had my first human design reading, it was like,  no, no. These are like energetically very much part of who you are,  and the world is telling you that they need to be different, and your family, and the way that you were raised, and the society that you live in was telling you that you needed to be different to fit this mold, but that's actually not what you are. 

And I took the leap incorporating it with my clients by finding the ones who were really stuck. Um, I'm like a big proponent of like, Hey, I want to try this really weird thing. If you hate it, we never have to do it again. I never have to bring it up, but what if we try it? And honestly, the first couple of clients I implemented it with just sobbed.

Like the entire first couple of like introductions and readings for it, that like,  they were like, this is life altering. And for the same reasons it was for me, where it was like, I'm not broken. I just have to figure out how to decondition myself from what I believed. is wrong. And  then I started incorporating it in the way, like, in my marriage, because my husband and I have super different human designs, and I was like, oh, this is why we have this.

Um, a lot of it is around decision making.  Um, I  started incorporating it in the way that I run my business, and then I started incorporating it with my team, because I was like, I can actually lead you better, I can guide you better. And then when I was building After Therapy, it was, it just became a foundational piece of helping people learn how to actually integrate their healing work, which is pretty amazing.

My primary focus in After Therapy is just like, how do we actually like, build a life now that you have knowledge of what you, what and how you want to heal?  And Human Design gives like, a really beautiful platform. Yeah.  Yeah. As you're talking about it, I, it brings to mind the nature versus nurture aspects that we always talk about.

And,  Nurture being school or parents, how we're conditioned, how we are raised. And then human design is the nature aspect. It's like, actually, no, you might be a hermit. Like you might better function  in a silo creating. And then when you are ready to externalize it, you can externalize it, but there is no perfect mold.

There is just your design and how you are created. And this. Can get you back more in touch with who you're meant to be.  Yeah. And I'm like, did we talk about this before we did this podcast? Cause that's actually exactly how I explain it to clients.  I'm like, weird. This is weird. I'm like, this is literally how I explain it to clients when I introduce it.

I'm like. This is going to be like, I'm going to give you your nature and we're going to talk about the way, all the ways the world nurtured you. We did not discuss that beforehand. Just so you,  we are on this level. Yeah. It's like kind of, that was wild. I was like, wait, didn't we talk about this? Cause it's literally like, for me, I think that was so foundational, especially because like I'm, and for those of you who are listening, maybe not familiar with human design, it's like a Eastern science that came about in the 1980s and it was actually like, you know, In the same way all philosophical science has come through, some person was standing on a rock, received the information, who knows. 

I don't ever, like, take it totally from a spiritual lens, I do it very much from, like, a clinical standpoint. Um, but it combines six different Eastern philosophies into one model, and it was actually, Created so that our generation would learn how to parent their kids differently and like, see that their kids were energetically very different than they were, therefore you can't mold your kid.

It was a very different form of conscious parenting. And then it started to like, show these ways that people could be in society and careers that would be good for them and what their gifts are and how their roles could be and like, how to actually use your energy to, to do what you want to do in life. 

And. I think one of the things for me that I, it was like mind blowing was like when I, I learned about human design, I was, I learned I'm a 2 4 sacral generator,  and so I am a hermit and an opportunist, which definitely aligns because I'm a Libra sun and a Capricorn moon and a Sag rising, so I'm like all over the place all the time.

Um, But I have never in my life, if you had met me four years ago, five years ago now, no one in my life would ever say I was an introverted person. Like, there was no sign at all of me being a hermit.  At all. Until the pandemic, when I was like literally forced to be a hermit.  And you were like, I'm thriving. 

Yeah, literally, in the first, the first, obviously the first couple months I was like, I need this all off, like, we got these things, like, I'm going crazy over here. But it was mind blowing when I suddenly started to thrive  because I had no outside information. I got really creative. I started building a business.

I started doing all these things that I had said I would do. But because I had no outside influence, I was like, wow, okay, I can do these things. And now it's, I've had to learn to like acknowledge the part of myself. Right? That needs this time alone, that is rather introverted, and like, I, I shine when I'm out in public, and I can build community, and I love networking, and if I don't retreat completely after, I'm burnt out.

I'm done.  And so it was, it was for me that very stark contrast of like, yeah, the world wanted me to be extroverted. Like that was what was praised. That was what was good. I made friends easily. I connected with people. I can like build groups. I can build community. Great. This is what you do. Right. It worked well in workplaces on school.

And then suddenly it was like,  Hmm, just kidding. You actually like, really like being alone, but like completely alone. Yeah.  It's like,  And it's like the mask too, because it's like, it's like so perfect. It works workplace settings for networking. You can connect, you can reach people. You're like, yes, I am on it.

Then you're like, Oh wait, actually, in order for me to be on it and here, I need to like, Go under my weighted blanket for three days, watch the same TV show, and, and re emerge when I am ready to give that to you again, but I cannot give that to you all the time. Absolutely not. Which is wild, because I was used to living at that high, right?

Of used to doing all those things, and now I'm like, sometimes I look at my schedule and I'm like, I literally can't do that. Like, I was looking at my schedule in like two weeks and then it's like seven, I had like scheduled seven clients and I have like a community event after and I was like, well,  that's not going to work.

Right. And before I would have been like, okay, I'm just going to,  I'm going to do it. I can, I can do it. I know I can do it. And I looked at it and I'm like, okay, I have 10 days to figure out how to fix that.  Total 180 in the way that I learned to cope with life. Right.  Yeah. Do you have to do it?  It's because it became a difference between I can do it. 

Uh, do I want to do it?  And even noticing the difference of. Being able being capable saying I can do something versus 

is this going to best serve me? Is this going to best serve the other person? Like especially as we think about client work, like Sure, I can see eight people.  Does seeing those eight people truly benefit them and me?  Never. Never. And sometimes that's two different answers. That's,  it's the able to and the can.

But I'm also a hermit. So I'm a 6'2 generator,  role model hermit.  So I like  retreat, like even the thought of social media for me sometimes. I'm like,  I'm just going to delete all of it and go, so I'm like, no. And so it's like this constant tug where I've got to like, put yourself out there, do it, but I can't do it consistently.

Like I would say right around like retrograde  towards the end of it. I was like,  if I don't take a break,  I'm going to delete all of these social media accounts and go hide and do something else. So, but I recognized it was, That burnout piece. It was the it's like I can cultivate these relationships. I can communicate.

I can present extroverted, but I cannot do that in the way that I used to because I am now aware that I'm not designed to function that way. Yeah, and being a 6'2 you have those different phases of your life where you are, like, super extroverted, and then, like, your first 30 years, right, you're like, I'm gonna try anything, I'm gonna do all these things, I'm gonna do do do, and then all of a sudden you turn 30 and you're like, yeah, I'm good.

Give me the book. Give me my bed. Give me no one. Oh, you want to go party? I don't. Like, you immediately, there's like this 180 that happens because you move into that internal processing because you're, you're truly here to like figure out how to educate and train people and so also I think like a lot of what we've bonded over and connected through is like this How do you be authentic and hold space in a, in a media, like, sense,  where we're consuming things rapidly, it's super oversaturated now, and also, like, for you specifically, like, authenticity and, like,  connection and actually, like, providing value is almost more important than whether or not people watch it. 

Yeah.  That's,  it's, yeah. When I, I mean, this is like almost a perfect segue into like the other half of the conversation, but  when I think about like creating content, it's like, does this add value?  But then I'm like, but I also want to be authentic. 

And sometimes those two aren't even  congruent. 

And they don't. And as a clinic, like as a trained clinician, that is. Not what you're taught, right? And that is like the hardest  mindset shift, right? Because at least for me, I know I went to grad school a couple years earlier than you, and like, it was like drilled in, that like, you don't have a social media present, you don't bring in these holistic tools, you do your models, you do your diagnosing, and like, that is all you do. 

And you are a blank slate, you do not, clients know nothing about you.  And  I think  the world is really changing. The way that people consume information is changing. The way that people seek therapy is changing. The way that we want providers to feel and act and like engage with us is changing. And so we are drawn to people who have, who are providing you value, but also sharing like really vulnerably, not even really necessarily vulnerably, right?

But like vulnerable things about themselves  that then you can be like, Oh, they get me. Mm hmm. They see me,  and that is a really hard place to be in a world where you were taught that doing any of that means you could potentially lose your license.  How did you unpack that box? Like, how? I'm still unpacking it? 

Yeah.  I honestly didn't use social media, like, very much  in my first couple years of my business because I didn't need to. Yeah. Um, I, like, I built my business with a full client load. My, I was like having referrals left and right. I mean, it was during the pandemic, right? So like people were like, help me.

Yeah. And so it was really easy to fill a caseload. And I would say it wasn't until  when I started after therapy, I did start like presenting on social media more and I started like testing things out and trying new things, but it was mostly just me. And then in the last year and a half,  I've gotten more consistent with social media.

I'm not getting on Tik TOK, like  Honestly, it's just because I get so overstimulated now as a new mom that I'm like, I cannot have an app. Like, my husband uses TikTok to tell me what the trends are. I'll be like, what's this thing? And then he like shows me five TikToks. I'm like, okay, I'm good. I'm done. Um.

But like, I, it's still very hard for me, like, to figure out how to  show up as myself and also work within my values and ethics as a clinician, because that's what I'm held to. Mhm. And,  What's been really fascinating about it is like having to to navigate that with my team because I have a team of five therapists and Most of them want nothing to do with social media.

Mm hmm. Um Which is fair that's like a life choice and a lot of it is because of the fact Fear that was instilled in us like during our training of like this is wrong and you don't need to do it  but in the last Six months probably six months eight months. We've seen like a drastic  jump in referrals from social media Okay,  like a drastic one and I was like, this is weird This is an interesting trend and  I started like thinking of like, oh are people actually trying to find therapists the same way They find coaches  which is they want seven points of contact with you You  before they choose to work with you. 

Hmm. Especially if they're, and this is where I think like the key in that statement for me, so for like any clinician listening, I think the key is if they're not in crisis.  If there isn't something that they are immediately looking to change, but rather want to figure out how to heal and move forward and explore, then they're researching the shit out of you.

Yeah.  They're looking at your LinkedIn. They're finding you on social media. They're looking at your website over and over again. They're reading your blog posts. They're reading what you're tagged in. They're attending your events. Mm hmm.  They're doing it all before they ever make that phone call. I

 had a response to that. It's going to be a, maybe a little,  a little controversial for the streets, but that also  in the therapy space, we value credentialing so much. We value  letters so much, so many trainings, so many CEUs, so many renewals of license, but  seven points of contact, I have nothing to do with your credentials.

It has.  So much to do with who you are as a person and especially as people of marginalized identities and people who  Want to be truly seen by their therapist not have a textbook in front of them and say oh the textbook told me this So this is what I can regard to take back to you It's like no they want to be seen by the person that they Are working with and they are again,  perfect point.

If they are not an active crisis, they are making sure that they will be seen, understood, validated,  and that they're not like that that broach and education that bridge and education is going to be there.  Yeah, and I think that is  the shit that's like a huge shift right in the way that we  perceive this field and and ironically actually like I have.

I, when I was in graduate school, I did a, I was a group research assistant, cause like anything to make tuition cheaper. Um, and I actually worked for a medical school doctor and we did research on patient surveys of residents. And it was a fascinating study to me, I don't think, I wasn't there when it was like completed and published and shared, but we were correlating people's perceptions.

of their provider based on their interactions and their likeliness to come back based on like genuine connection versus their education or what they had to offer.  And like it's even shifting there. Like a medical, like a student being like, you can call me Billy instead of Dr. Smith,  a patient felt more connected to. 

Yeah.  Well, I think our ideal of healing is becoming so much more holistic. It's,  and we're also addressing, which. social workers crush at all the time is addressing the systemic  barrier, the systemic challenges, how we, as a system exists versus within the clinical, like we are so intervention, clinical therapy, how do we offer good therapy?

But we aren't always taught, how do we look at a person within the system?  And so  then that's how we get really behind when people come in and they're like, a pandemic wrecked my life. And we're like, Oh, you're depressed.  No shit. I,  the last four years would make anyone depressed. Right? And some, I, honestly, that is a phrase I've been like, I use a lot of sarcasm with my clients, but, and like, I'm, it's not always a great tool for any new clinicians listening, but if you are the right, if you are the right fit and it works, but like, I have sat in so many sessions in the last week and been like, weird, you're anxious? 

I wonder why. And also, it would truly be weird if you weren't. Like, I just, like, there's something about holding this space that says like, oh, you're depressed from a pandemic?  Weird. But also, why wouldn't you be? Yeah. You, you almost should be? Like, it's almost more weird when you're not. Yeah. And so, figuring out how to, like, say, like, from a systemic standpoint, or even just in general, it's like,  There are normal circumstances in life where you should have anxiety, and you should be depressed, and things should be hard, and these things that we've decided are quote unquote wrong, or need to be changed or fixed, what we're not saying is like, well, what's happening? 

In the world around you right now that is actually  highlighting what you're internally struggling with.  Yeah,  and I think more of us are saying, you know, you have every right to feel like,  I think it'd be odd if you felt any differently about  some of this. And so  what does that mean for therapy? What does that mean for the coaching industry and even how we show up on social media?

It's that no, actually authenticity is more valuable than maybe where you got your degree from.  And you're being a person. Oh,  I was gonna say your ability to be the person. Yeah, the ability to be a person  and that was that is something that is very hard to train as someone who has employees like I know that that's, it's very hard to train out like the rigidness and the boundaries and the fear, and I've always been  more likely to self disclose but part of that is because I was, I was clinically trained in a model of therapy like my, my major like clinical practicum was in this.

so much. Form of therapy called Feminist Multicultural Therapy, where like the founding belief is the person is political, right? And so, like, you can't, I was trained very early on, like, I can't take myself out of the context, like, can't. Um, and because I was like having to like work at a clinic where I was a white woman, Like, primarily working with marginalized populations, like, I had to own and, like, learn how to, like, say, like, I don't know, and, like, this is my perception of the world, and, like, I know this about myself.

Like, I had to take more responsibility, and I think a lot of  clinical training involves, and so I got more comfortable with self disclosure. But honestly, for me, showing up really authentically didn't happen until I got pregnant, and I had hyperemesis  for my pregnancy. And so, like, I had every intention of Not telling my clients until I was like 20 weeks, and then they would have like 20 more weeks, yadda yadda yadda.

But, um, I ended up having to like regularly reach out to my clients to be like, I'm literally sitting on the bathroom floor throwing up. I will not be able to attend our session. I am so sorry. I will send you new times to reschedule. And I had to trust that they could hold that  And still want to work with me, like that vulnerability for me of admitting, like, this is what's happening in my life right now.

Yeah. And knowing that like, then my, my clients are like invested in my son's life. Like I can't, my son turns two at the end of the month and they're like, I can't believe he's two. I remember when you were pregnant. Right? And like, that's not something we were taught in therapy.  Like, at first I was like, why do you care about my kid?

Like, you're not even supposed to, you're quote unquote not supposed to know about my kid, and now you're asking to see pictures of my kid. Which, I don't do with every client, to be fair. Okay. But like,  I, but like, they'll ask. Mm hmm. Because. I didn't have a choice  but to admit what was actually happening. I mean, I could have just pretended, but then what is that doing therapeutically for the relationship if I'm not showing up authentically and I'm not showing up in my messy humanness and telling you what's going on in my life in a vague sense? 

Then how can I expect you to do the same? Like, how can I expect you to call me when you can't show up to a session and say, I have to take my grandma to the hospital, she fell and broke her leg, I'm sorry this is late, and then I get to decide, do I charge you the cancellation or not?  But I'm not creating that relationship if I'm not doing the same, and I'm not actually demonstrating how I'm teaching you to take care of yourself. 

Hmm.  Yeah. And cancellation fees is its own day for another, another day,  but it's so, I mean,  I like hear you in person me and I'm going to distinguish person me and clinician me and trained me person. Me is like, yes, 100%, 1, 000%. And then  my training, my school was largely psychodynamic and he,  they didn't even teach self disclosure.

He was like, you shouldn't be doing it. So he didn't even teach it. So  I hear that. I'm like, I will like text or email my clients and say, Oh,  Sick. And I'm like having anxiety that their world's going to fall apart. And I'm like, they  will be okay. Like  everyone will be  okay. Like, especially depending on the level of care that you're offering.

It's like  people, like everyone's lives are moving forward and having that open communication and having that plan, it actually builds the trust more because I would rather know that my therapist is just not feeling well. Versus,  Oh, not showing this vague cryptic, Hey, need to cancel sending you new times now.

Like that actually, I think actually really supported my therapist and I's dynamic when she was more transparent about, Hey, like, I'm just really not feeling well today. I can do this. Does that work for you? And I'm like, absolutely. Like  take care of yourself. Like, I want that for you as a client and.  And then in the clinician's seat, I don't, I'm like, I can show up.

I am able.  That sentiment might not be shared. And it's like, but that's, but if you truly believe in the relationship,  then all of these things get to exist.  And I think that's where like, I've like really explored parts work, right? Because there's the part of me that was the trained clinician that knows transparency, social media, all these things are not okay. 

There's the part of me that as a client and as a consumer of coaching and therapy  I'm like, no, I'd rather you tell me what's going on because it makes it easier. So like my therapist is like, yep, I'm at the urgent care. Like, I think I have COVID. I'll text you some new times. I'm like, okay, cool. Like I can wait.

Right. And I'm like, okay, great.  Or, but then there's also like the business owner side where it's like  the distrust in like the system. And because those other two parts of me are kind of always at war of like, I should be transparent, but I shouldn't. And then like, Are people going to want to continue to work with me if I'm too much this way?

Like that's the biggest thing for me with social media sometimes is like  my therapy clients like following me and seeing what I have to share and not feeling like  Who I am in that space is the same as who I am in the room with them Hmm, which isn't necessarily feedback that I've received. It's actually been the opposite like at one point I tried to hire out like this is totally random but I tried to hire out like postpartum like having someone do my emails and content and social and and my clients actually were the ones that were like  This doesn't sound like you  like this isn't you like why are you doing this?

And I was like  Right, like immediately I was like, oh, because one, my clients see me, they know how I sound, they know how I feel, they know what they're getting when they work with me, and then to be told that what they're experiencing is not that is like my fear of like the presence of showing up in a marketing way, right, or in a networking way, or even in a leadership way.

Um, or even doing presentations or like conversations, right, is just like,  I don't want to be different,  but my parts get in the way because I feel like I should be or I have to be in order to be the perfect therapist or the perfect coach, right, or the perfect therapist. thing,  and then I get really limited, and that's, I mean, even circling all the way back, like, that's how human design has really helped me really evolve, is like, I'm a generator, and, but my chart is very open, like, I only have three defined centers all in my, like, root, and so, like, when I saw my human design chart for the first time, I was like, haha, oh, this is why I'm never consistent,  right, like, this is why I'm so overwhelmed with other people's stuff, this is why I'm an empath, this is why, like, all these things where I was, like,  You want me to like  be this person over here and this person over here and this person over here I actually like I'm not designed to do that  and that was really helpful But that doesn't take away the years of conditioning  To show up in this space and to be that way or to feel like I have to be 

Open open territory and it's wild especially  I was a teenager. It was wild. I was like, okay, this has gotta,  someone's gotta, it all makes sense now, but teenage me did not get it. But what you're also speaking to is  with those seven points of contact, if someone's working with you in session and let's say you're  psychodynamic, closed face, like  ready to, ready to go.

And then they see you on socials and they find your podcast and then they find,  they go to a community event and they're like, wait.  I want that person. Who is it? Who is this person that I sit with every week? I want this person. And then what does that congruence, what does that authenticity look like? 

And again, as we've discussed before, I think we are shifting into  a space where people are like,  we need some,  no one's looking for the holier than thou therapist. People are looking for like the person because people's stuff is messy. And people want to know that they're messy is not going to be judged or looked at differently  and that you're messy.

Like,  you're a human,  we're a soul having a human experience. If that's what you believe in life is messy. Things are messy. Like  I have, especially because like, I've had clients now that have been with me since I graduated graduate school. I'm like, again, graduate school was like,  That should never happen, and it's like six, seven years later, and I'm like, heh heh, they're still here, they won't leave.

And they've had multiple iterations of me.  So many iterations, because I've had them follow me from job to job, I've had them be with me when I've built my practice, I've had them be with me when I've built this after therapy program, I've had them guinea piggy, I've had them move from therapy to coaching, like, they've had so many iterations with me, and the feedback that I consistently get is  You constantly being in pivot or, or having these different iterations allows me to know that I can have them too. 

It is okay to change.  And it's okay for people to want to change with you. Yeah. And it's also okay if they don't. 

Well, folks, I don't,  she just dropped the mic  and let us know,  yeah, it is okay to change and is okay if people don't want to change.  And then that shouldn't stop, which.  Again, our training, what we learn is that we  need to stay this thing to serve  the people, the masses.  And  I don't think we hear enough that it's okay that we're not the therapist, the coach for everyone. 

Oh, yeah, we can't be and we  it's not even that you can't be it's that you shouldn't be like I have a firm firm like that could be a whole nother podcast episode, but I have like a whole firm belief that you should not be. Yeah,  and like that really really needs to be okay like I should not be the coach for everyone.

I should not be the therapist for everyone. I'm not the boss for everyone like I'm when I'm hiring people I'm like very transparent. I'm like, if you are looking for these seven things is I'm not that person. And like,  That's okay. I don't need you to like me. I don't need, I don't need you, I can, you can value what I do and as a business and  I'm not the person to lead you  and that's okay.

Does that always, like, do I occasionally have panic attacks and like have to take a Xanax and like still stress about those things? Absolutely. I'm doing it right now. It's part of not sleeping, but at the same time, yeah.  over the years, I've gotten to the place of like, it's okay.  And it's also still okay that it makes me upset or it makes me anxious or that when a client doesn't want to work with me anymore, or  because I do feel like I came from a corporate world and like I was in sales for a long time, like always in like a customer service position, like since I was like 16 and right.

Your job in those positions is to like, get people to come back, like to keep, to keep working with you, like indefinitely. And in these fields,  your job is to work yourself out of a job.  And that's  ass backwards from the way that we live as a society and the way that marketing works and the way that people and things work, right?

Is that like, my job is actually to make you not need me anymore. 

And like, we don't teach people how to actually tolerate that. 

And  as therapy, as coaching continues to evolve, we become natural parts of people's support systems. And then therefore,  the services need to reflect that, like not everyone needs  Therapy, not everyone should be in therapy,  allowing  the masses to be able to make informed choices about the kind of care they receive or what they truly need from an objective, non judgmental bias, because everyone needs that person.

Everyone like can benefit from having an observant third party that is holding that space for them, that is sharing that space with them, and it is theirs. It is their, it is their, their container. And that's what I, is their container. It is theirs. And  that looks different for everyone.  Again, what are we conditioned? 

50, 45 minute, 50 minute container. Do not talk to me outside of that container. Do not look for me outside of that container. And it's like,  and  how people need support is so different. And it actually even goes against.  communal aspects of  who we are as people.  And that's a big reason like for me building after therapy has been  is such a part of like my own story of being in and out of therapy for like  I started therapy when I was like nine years old and like in and out and in and out and like I was always told I was so anxious and my eating disorder was because I was anxious and if I just stopped being anxious, my life would be so different, right?

Like so much of it was about me feeling too much and being anxious and these things that were like, if you just change this about you,  but because I spent so much time Processing it, and analyzing it, and figuring out where it came from, and doing all these things that the first time I hired a coach and she was like, Okay, you're anxious. 

And I was like, yeah. And it's like a whole thing. And she's like, no, it's not like, what are you doing day to day to manage it? Like, what does it look like for you to know that you're anxious and then adjust your day for it? And I was like, you can do that. And she was like,  why couldn't you do that? And I was like,  I just thought I had to learn how to survive.

Right. And so for me, the separation has become like,  After therapy in my world and the, and the coaching aspect of it is like, let's, therapy is for healing. Let's heal. Let's start it. Let's do it. But then after therapy is where we thrive. It's like, how do I figure out how to build a life? How do I figure out to be in my life?

How do I figure out how to be present? Because for me, as like the person who felt so much shame, because I would consistently end up in a therapist's chair being like, I know why I am here. I know all the things. I know all the stories. I know my trauma. I understand.  And,  how do I  live  with all of these things that are just aspects of my story? 

And then what's wild now is like, watching it all, all that shit come back up as a parent, right? Because that's what children are designed for.  And you're just kind of like, But I have tools now, so like, even before we hopped on and recorded this, I was like, I've gotten like 10 hours of sleep in two hours in two days, right?

And I'm exhausted, and I'm probably a little manic y, I'm drinking caffeine now, it's a terrible life choice, I'm so anxious because I have to have, like, tough conversations this week, we've had a lot of crisis. And all I looked at you and said was like, I'm ready to go, I did my yoga nidra, I laid on the floor, I'm really anxious, I'm transparent about that, and  I can still live my life because my anxiety is not me. 

And I didn't learn how to separate that until someone was like,  you just do, like, you don't have to just do and suffer. You, you can adjust and change  and that's okay. And I was like,  Oh, and then so many of my clients, like even from my early years in private practice, were just these clients who'd been in therapy on and off for decades, and I was like, what are we all missing? 

Like, what are we all missing? And it's like, the place to say, like, okay, what happens now? Like, oh, usually it's like, okay, you graduate from therapy, bye, and then you feel like your therapist is breaking up with you, because that happened to me a few times, where I was like, you just dumped me?  The straight up what it felt like, I literally was like, I think you abandoned me.

And then I didn't want to go back, right, after I quote unquote graduated, because she was like, you're done, like, let's take space, and I was like, and she was, I was like, I don't know,  because I need that reflection space. I need a space where someone is telling me and pointing things out and like,  but that is technically not what therapy is.

Therapy is not that space.  So what is that space? And that's what I'm trying to create.  The space where someone's like, okay, I've done the therapy, I've done the stuff, I'm, or I'm in therapy and I've done the stuff, but like,  I don't, I just want someone to just like, be there so I can process, but also still giving me tools and giving me things and pointing out the insights in a more direct, direct way. 

Yeah. But we don't have to go back. We don't have to do all the things back there.  I mean, what you just spoke to is, therapy is, is unpacking the bag. It is taking all of it out. Just throwing it out, throwing it out, throwing it out, throwing it out.  Then what now? What do I, and then a coach can say, yeah, I see all the stuff like you've taken out of the backpack. 

So what does that look like going forward? What does that look like to take that with you and be able to not just survive, not just live your day to day, but thrive to like truly enjoy  your life. And therapy does not, therapists are not always trained to offer that space. Yeah. Oh no,  no no. And I've even been playing with the term with my, like, clients specifically of like, okay, surviving and thriving is like a really hip, cool thing right now.

Like, I mean, I don't know. Again, I don't have TikTok people, so like, don't judge me. But like, I have clients come in all the time and they're like, I'm just in my survival mode, I'm not thriving. Like, I'm just surviving. And I'm like, I want to know when you feel alive.  To me, surviving is still an, or thriving is still an action.

Like, I'm still doing something. I'm still working towards something. I want to know when are you just alive?  And we've been playing with the term alive full, like when am I just full of life?  That I'm okay,  just being, just straight up being. I'm not actually trying to do anything, I'm not trying to survive, I'm not trying to thrive, I'm not trying to get anywhere, I'm just here,  being,  in my life. 

Present as, as present as I can on every day, because every day is different,  but I'm just here. 

I think this is a wonderful place to wrap up also, because if we go into another tangent, that'd be another hour. Which I'm okay with, but,  Becca, how can people find you? How can people work with you?  Um, people can find me on social media, on Instagram, and threads.  We also do have a Pinterest, but that's just because I love Pinterest.

I'm like a Pinterest nerd. Um, you can find me on Pinterest regularly. But, uh, forwardhealing. co, and that is the, uh, Instagram and threads for, like, our therapy practice if you're in Utah. Currently, we only see clients in Utah for therapy. And then for after therapy, I work with clients all over. I do everything in three month containers.

You can learn more about that on our Instagram. You can DM me, um, and we can ask questions and chat. We do offer a bunch of virtual workshops and different community events, and so hopefully I'll get to know some people. And help you figure out how to be alive. We've got a community event coming up, right?

Yeah.  We haven't, we're gonna, I think we're gonna do a virtual one, but I'm not sure how to like, do it yet. But we're doing an in, we have a couple community events. I have um, my self help book club coming up, which is like, reading a self help book for eight weeks, people. And like, you also don't have to finish it.

I did, I did not finish our last book, to be fair. Um, and we meet, we like, read a book for eight weeks. I drop prompts every week for you to like, actually reflect and integrate and process it. And then at the end, we come together and we chat about it, um, either virtually or in person, if you're here in Utah.

We're doing a friend networking event because social prescribing has become my MO and I don't know how to make friends and neither do other people and so we are taking the discomfort out of it and  giving you a place to practice meeting new people. And then I do, every three months, I do a seasonal reset workshop virtually and that'll be on October 6th and that's to set yourself up to actually adjust your life  for season changes. 

All of this will be linked in the description of this episode. Becca, thank you so much for joining me today. This will not be the last time. And bye everybody!