Doing the Work While Doing the Work: How IFS, Emotionally Immature Parents, and Visibility Shape Therapists Behind the Scenes with Emily Powell

In this episode of The Visibility Standard (formerly All Our Parts), I’m joined by Emily Powell—owner & founder of  Authentic Self Therapy Collective—for a deeply honest conversation about what it looks like to be a human and a helper at the same time.

We talk about the inner worlds therapists carry, the parts that get activated when you’re an adult child of emotionally immature parents, and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers language for understanding the complexity we hold—both personally and professionally. This episode also pulls back the curtain on the less glamorized side of the therapy world: starting and growing a private practice, navigating social media visibility, and the emotional labor that rarely makes it into Instagram captions.

In this episode, we explore:

• What Internal Family Systems (IFS) teaches us about our inner worlds
• Healing as an adult child of emotionally immature parents
• The messy, honest reality of building and sustaining a private practice
• Why therapist community isn’t optional—it’s essential
• Showing up authentically online and the real emotional cost of visibility

Emily also shares her vision for 2025, the parts of herself she’s still learning to trust, and how she’s intentionally making room for joy, impact, and sustainability in this work. If you’re a therapist, healer, or human navigating growth while holding space for others, this conversation offers language, relief, and permission to be more than one thing at once.

You don’t have to be fully healed to help. You don’t have to fragment yourself to be professional. And you’re allowed to build a life and practice that actually support you, too.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Bye. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to All Our Parts. I am so excited for my first guest of 2025. She is therapist based in PA, Massachusetts area. Yes. And I'm just so excited to have this conversation with her. I have been following her content for the better part of two years now. And so it's been such a pleasure to watch her grow and evolve in her work. And I am excited to have Emily Powell here to talk to us today. Emily, thank you so much for joining me today. Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 0:35

thank you for having me. I can't wait. I'm so glad I'm your first guest. That's so exciting.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

So tell me about your journey with IFS. What attracted you to that specific therapeutic modality? Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 0:49

so it evolved very naturally, it feels. So during grad school, I thought I was more psychodynamic. I really love getting to the deeper root of things rather than just focusing on the solutions. And I developed more of a relational lens and psychodynamic lens in grad school. And it led really naturally into IFS because IFS is such a relational model, like relationship building with oneself, right? And then being able to expand with the world around them. And I just love that it's so non-pathologizing and it looks at everybody as a complex human, made up of all these parts that have been trying to help them and adapt and survive in the world that they've been placed in. Yeah, it just evolved naturally. I picked up No Bad Parts at some point, which is like the entry book to IFS. And I was like, oh my gosh, I love this. I have to learn more. 100%

SPEAKER_01 1:51

as a therapist who also really is attracted to the relational model of therapy, IFS just gives the space for us to look at the the harder parts of our identities, the shame part, the guilt part. And it allows us to externalize it in a way and look at it as what is this part trying to teach us, show us how is this serving us versus seeing it as a hindrance to our personal growth?

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Yeah, 100%. That's such a good way of describing it. It totally shifts people's understanding of the parts of them that they dislike the most or judge the most are the parts of them that are working the hardest to try to keep them safe and keep them protected.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Yeah, it gives it almost a little space to hold it. It's like a little baby. The shame part, you're here to protect me and I don't need to feel bad that you are showing up. But what are you trying to show me by showing up in this specific moment?

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 2:53

absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

So you do a lot of content also specifically around family dynamics and IFS. How did that come about for you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

So I really love working with adult children of emotionally immature parents and the parts. I think it's very fascinating, like the parts that come up in response to emotionally immature parents and caregivers. So I love Noticed I really like working with, and I guess I should say, I think a lot of times we work with people that have similar parts to us without noticing it, right? So I really like working with people with caretaking parts and perfectionistic parts and learning about where those come from. And I just noticed a pattern in my clients where, you know, if... they grew up with emotionally immature parents they often have this like subset of protective parts that pop up over and over again and then they feel like they're stuck in this similar relational pattern where they're disconnected from themselves and their own needs and people pleasing and taking care of other people's needs before their own and then using ifs with people in that kind of family dynamic and relational pattern it just works so well like it's so powerful. So it's just, yeah, I guess like the niche similar to IFS naturally evolved and felt really inspiring to me and energizing work. And I just went from there.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Did you ever imagine that one day you would be making content around mental health?

SPEAKER_00 4:32

No, not at all. I did know that I wanted to start a private practice. Like it was always my goal. And then when I started my practice, I was like, okay, I guess I have to mark at this, learn that whole thing. And then my like littlest brother was like, are you gonna, you're gonna, if you're gonna have your own business, like you need to be on TikTok, you know that, right? And I'm like, what? Wait, seriously? And then I started posting content of like landscape with a quote on it that didn't really work. And then quickly translated into posting videos of myself talking about therapy content. And yeah, now it's like a huge part of how I've built my practice and interact with with so many amazing like clients and also other clinicians. So yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Yeah, I feel like we all start there where we're the landscape of the trees and like nature and not really our face because we don't learn in grad school how to market ourselves as therapists. We try to be so mindful and thoughtful of the ethics around it and how we are approaching people. And I would take a front seat in the social media space.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Yeah, totally. No, I could have never imagined in grad school, this is how I would build my practice. But I also just love being able to reach more people outside of folks who are even in therapy and be able to talk about these topics that a lot of people struggle with, but don't have the words or language to put to it. I think it's great. As long as we're like ethical about it, I think it's great.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

100%. It's made reputable information much more accessible and it's given a lens, I think, to people to see what kind of clinicians out there, not everyone is a blank slate model, not everyone being able to gravitate towards a therapist and see their personality kind of firsthand without having to do the consultations call. It really, it takes away a barrier of one of the major hurdles of therapy and that's finding a therapist that you'd feel like you mesh with.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Yeah. Yep, 100%. And I think that's so helpful to so many people think that therapy is like you sit down with this like third party who's super objective and not really human, bringing their humanness to the picture. And I think by being on social media, people realize that, oh, this is somebody that's relatable and that I can connect with and who seems like they would get it. So I think it's really helpful for both like the therapist and the clients too.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Yeah. So you started your practice as an associate there. while still working under supervision and now being fully licensed, which congrats. That's a feat all of us hope to reach one day. What would you say was your biggest learning lesson in 2024 around building your business?

SPEAKER_00 7:32

There's so many. I feel like building a practice, we are not taught that in grad school. So everything feels like a learning lesson. I think starting as an associate or someone who was pre-licensed was really hard I started in 2022 like pretty soon after I had graduated and I was still working for an IOP and a group practice and then I like branched out a little bit on my own but I think facing some of the like more antiquated viewpoints in the mental health system of like you have to be in you have to work in community mental health for 10 years before you like deserve to be in private practice or you have to pay your dues and like coming up against some of those ideals from other clinicians or just generally people in the field was really hard because I already had enough imposter syndrome, let alone dealing with other people's judgment and projection onto me around it. So that was definitely the hardest in the beginning. And then in 2024, I think the hardest thing that I faced was the process of getting licensed and how difficult that was. I was living in Pennsylvania at the time and applied for Pennsylvania and Massachusetts at the same time and dealing with the totally different boards and like standards of each board was really demoralizing and confusing and like ambiguous so I think that's another niche of what I love doing is helping pre-licensed folks like access licensure and then also realize that in some states you don't have to be fully licensed to start a practice you need to be supervised and there's definitely a lot of things I would recommend around it but you can do it And like they, I feel like they, the field in general kind of wants you to not know that for some reason, but you totally can. And like, it's so gatekept and I hope to spread awareness that it's not as hard as it's made out to seem in ways.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Yeah. You just spoke to so many points that, especially the imposter syndrome, because again, we go through grad school and then the narrative is you go through grad school and then you are expected to work in a community-based setting, really earn your stripes to work in this more autonomous space. Whereas when we think about offering quality care, we have to work in an environment that is conducive to us being able to offer that. And so community is not for everybody. There's people who love it. And then there's people who will thrive in the entrepreneurship space of private practice And I think one of the narratives that I hope to expand on is that neither is good or bad. There's no qualifier to working in either one. But if we as clinicians want to offer quality care, then we should be encouraged to work in environments that are conducive to us being able to provide that.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Totally. And it's so much individual blame on the clinician when the whole system is so broken and backwards and we could go on. If insurance was a better system, then like more, there would be more access to therapy, but that's not on the individual clinician. Like we can advocate and we can try to do what we can, but we can't fix the insurance system. So I think similar with community mental health, like I'd love to be able to work with the, I worked in community mental health for my internship and I loved my clients and I loved the individual work I got to do, but the politics and the system and the burnout, like I left so depressed and so burnt out after one year in community mental health. And I was like, I can't, this isn't sustainable for me. I wish it was. And it's not.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Yeah, it's, I love the shift now where we're looking at what does it look like to be in this field in a sustainable way? What does it look like for us to not only wake up, go to work and like just do the bare minimum, but what does it look like for us to still sustain ourselves while offering the best care to clients And that shift I think is empowering so many clinicians, especially as they're going through grad school to see people like you who are dismantling these ideas of what it means to work your first couple of years outside of grad school.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Yeah, totally. And I think I always say the reason I am able to show up 100% most days for my clients is because I have probably half the number of clients that I would if I was in community mental health. And And I'm niching in the area. It feels energizing to me. I'm not this general person seeing all sorts of different presentations. And I'm able to work from home most of the days and do my laundry between sessions. Like all of those things feel really important to me and my ability to like... continue to be inspired by the work rather than burnt out and drained by it

SPEAKER_01 12:39

yeah I found the second you feel that energy like that flashlight go out a little bit is when it's time to reassess is there a different niche that I want to explore is there a different area population that I want to start working with us feeling equally as energized and excited about the work is what allows us to convey that message to our clients and it what it's what gravitates clients like to And to want to be in therapy.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

I had the privilege of amazing supervisors. I did have one supervisor who wasn't a fit, but like outside of that, I really loved my supervisors and I felt like they believed in me. Like during moments, not to sound super cheesy, like I didn't believe in myself and I didn't know if this was like for me or if I was cut out for this. So definitely having that, whether it's supervision or mentorship of some sort. And then I have this peer consultation group that I meet with once a month and we all use parts work and relational frameworks and just having other folks in the field who get it and talking about private practice and all the things that come with that too is really helpful. So I feel like what I'm getting at is community of other clinicians who get it and who use similar frameworks and just look at therapy in a really similar way. way as I do I think those things have definitely helped me realize I'm not alone imposter syndrome so normal it also comes and goes this is the first week of January I got back and I was like I don't know if I remember how to be a therapist it's been a full week I don't know if I can do this and I think I dealt with a lot of imposter syndrome even in the beginning of the week so just knowing that it's definitely an ebb and flow you sit with certain clients and maybe relational stuff happens and you question yourself I don't know if I'm being a good therapist to this person or it just feels like it's imposter syndrome is like a part that's always in the background and sometimes it steps in and sometimes it settles back

SPEAKER_01 15:15

yeah what that everything you just said resonated so much especially the idea that we are who we surround ourselves with so having really great supervisors building a community of clinicians who share similar perspectives and theoretical orientations being able to Yeah. really understands is so beneficial and being able to move forward in this work

SPEAKER_00 16:10

yeah totally and another thing I'm thinking of is you know in terms of the imposter syndrome question is I think the more I realized that therapy is not about the intervention and the solution and it's way more about your humanness and you the therapist as the tool as the resource I think that's allowed me to realize that It's okay. It's enough to just show up as my human self. That's actually what people are needing. They need somebody to witness them, to hear them, to listen. And I don't have to know everything. I don't have to know the answers. I don't have to predict the future in order to be a therapist. And so I think that in order to be a good therapist. And so that's also helped me like settle my imposter syndrome. Whereas in grad school, I'm like, oh my gosh, how am I going to remember the protocol for ACT or whatever. It's not about that. And that's really helped me just continue showing up and moving through the imposter syndrome.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Yeah. I reflected on this idea that the more we show up genuine, sincere and human in our sessions, that is part of the, that is part of the intervention. That's its own intervention in and of itself, because there are so many people in this world who don't receive that in their personal lives from family from friends from their relationships whatever the case may be so offering a space where they get to be seen and cared for just as they are to be treated as whole just as they are and we're simply allowing the person to evolve in their own way and being a co-collaborator in their healing is it's like such a privilege

SPEAKER_00 18:01

yeah totally I love that I love that co-collaborative I And yeah, the therapeutic relationship in my perspective is the healing vessel. That is where the work lies.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Yes. When I am with you, I, and I'm grateful to have a supervisor that also shares in that sentiment. And so when you have a supervisor that also understands you, it allows you to grow in a way that feels aligned with who you are. And she is a huge proponent in that there is no intervention that is going to be successful if the therapeutic relationship isn't there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

And when things get hard or like within I feel like whenever I feel stuck with a client or like something isn't feeling great, like I always go back to the therapeutic relationship, just checking in the simple question of like, how are you feeling in the relationship? How are you experiencing? How did you experience me last session? Whatever it might be. And I feel like that always propels people or our relationship into a new dimension, a new stage just by checking in. Because again, a lot of people don't have that experience of being checked in on in a relational way.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

And being allowed to offer feedback without it imploding or exploding into a conflict or a potential rupture in the relationship. again a privilege and it is its own intervention yeah within the space yeah so my closing question I'm trying something new with all of my guests this year what is your commitment to yourself in 2025 I

SPEAKER_00 20:08

love that question I feel like I have many I'm not and I love the way you phrase that because it's so not what's your new year's resolution or what are your goals for this year, but what's your commitment to yourself? My commitment to myself is that I actually just found my own IFS therapist because I moved from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts and I had to go through the whole ending the relationship with my Pennsylvania therapist and finding somebody new in Massachusetts. But it gave me the opportunity to find somebody who's specifically IFS trained. And I do this work all day, every day with my clients and I do it on the side on my own, but I have to go through the whole ending the relationship with my Pennsylvania therapist. haven't had my own IFS therapy. So I'm really excited to get to know all of my parts a lot better and yeah, hopefully to be able to continue building self-compassion through the lens of us. I think that's my, I'm really excited about that this year.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Congrats. The commitment gets to be the commitment to yourself to continue to grow and evolve and making sure you are taking the absolute best care of yourself to also take care of your clients because they both work hand in hand

SPEAKER_00 21:28

yeah yeah I'm excited what's yours can I ask I said what's yours can I ask

SPEAKER_01 21:35

you absolutely can my commitment this year is to be present and I to elaborate on that I was working on my vision board this year the the very physical, tangible one. And it wasn't coming to me. And typically I am a planner. I am like, you know what? I need to have the vision right now. But I'm like, what if the vision is still evolving? What if I am right now in the right spot of the vision? And it's going to continue to grow because there's so much potential in the year. It's only January. And we have this high expectation to have our goals locked in ready to go when reality we get there's potential things change we shift we grow as people and so allowing the space for opportunity is definitely a commitment for myself this year I

SPEAKER_00 22:37

love that and I feel like when we're open like this wealth of opportunities comes to us whereas when we're like constricted and so confined to certain goals and rigid it's when we close ourselves off subconsciously without even noticing it

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Absolutely, because we're working towards this one idea, this one aspect when a completely different picture might be unfolding that we're not allowing ourselves to be open to because we have closed ourselves off to this very specific idea of what we're supposed to be doing.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

So true. Yeah, I love that. I'll share that intention with you too, being more present. I need that.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Emily, thank you so much. How can people find you if they want to connect with you? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

So I'm on Instagram and TikTok as Emily Powell Authentic Self. I just changed my username, so I hope that's right. But yeah, those are the Instagram and TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

All of her links will be linked in the description. So it is definitely OK if that wasn't the right one. You all can find her again. Thank you all so much for tuning in to All Our Parts. Please share it with your friends and I'll see you all next week. Thank you. Bye.