What My Wardrobe Taught Me About Healing: Femininity, Self-Trust, and Showing Up Unapologetically

In this solo episode of All Our Parts, I’m reflecting on the deep—and often messy—journey of learning to fully trust myself again. Not just in my healing, but in my style, my softness, and the ways I choose to move through the world.

I share how embracing my femininity and reclaiming my wardrobe became some of the first, most tangible ways I practiced self-trust—choosing what felt true over what felt palatable, and letting myself be seen without constant self-editing. This episode is about embodiment, intuition, and the quiet courage it takes to stop abandoning yourself for approval.

In this episode, we explore:

• Reclaiming your voice and your wardrobe as acts of self-trust
• The difference between self-trust and self-abandonment
• Honoring your intuition—even when it challenges others
• Prioritizing peace without apology or over-explaining

I’m also spotlighting FreeFrom, an incredible organization supporting survivors in building financially independent futures, and sharing how you can be part of that work.

If you’re ready to stop shrinking, stop second-guessing yourself, and start stepping into your most authentic expression, this episode is an invitation to trust what you already know.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

I can honestly say that this summer was really one for the girls. Welcome back to All Our Parts. I am your host, Jasmine Proctor. Did everyone have a good summer? I... I totally wish that I was producing episodes in the way that I was hoping to. Unfortunately, the life lessons were lessening. And so I think for the last six months, I've been on a constant like learning journey and had to figure some stuff out. And all of that will be shared here in due time. But I'm so back to be being able to put some energy back into this and really see where this journey goes. And so without further ado, let's just get into it. Like I said, this summer was really one for the girls. We had the Barbie movie. We had the inception of Rat Girl Summer, where you are just living your best life, taking time for breaks, taking time to spend time for your friends, and really fostering that girlhood self-confidence that I don't really think I've seen in media in a bit like it was giving real women supporting women girls supporting girl energy and we love that even girl dinner which got I think misconstrued a little bit like girl dinner is simply you're tired you had a long day and you're just putting whatever that whatever you can find in the fridge you're putting that together and you're calling that win for the night and sometimes girl dinner is very necessary but girl dinner is also Also filling. And so we love that. But I... My relationship to femininity has always... been tricky as a gay woman who grew up seeing a lot of masculine women being gay it was hard for me to learn how do I feel good in my womanhood and feel comfortable with who I am and feel like I'm coming off authentically and even a lot of my friends who see me now know I'm on this fashion journey right now and I am feeling the most comfortable and confident that I have felt in my clothes in a very long time like I'm very satisfied with my closet but and I don't know if a lot of people even recognize it is this deep for me but it's taken a long time for me to really feel comfortable in the clothes that I wear I remember when I was exploring who I was in high school I preferred larger clothes I preferred baggier clothes because I didn't quite understand what masculine clothing would look like for me and I also found that I was gravitating towards clothes that would hide me and so that was one piece of it and then when I got to college I just wore what felt like comfortable and then I think my sophomore year I decided I was like you know what I I'm not gonna wear pants sweatpants to school that was where I needed to draw that line because I was doing it so often and I also was like dealing with depression and so I was like Jasmine the least you could do is wear an outfit like that makes you feel good and so I would just throw on some jeans and throw on a t-shirt but I didn't again I was still hiding I wasn't completely out I wasn't I wasn't able to be myself and when I think about the ways that I wasn't able to be myself and how that encompassed so many areas of my life it's really shocking to me how just being honest about about everything, being honest about who I am, how much it impacted so much of my perception of myself and so much of how I perceive, how I presented myself to the world. And so I would say about in the last two or three years, I've been really like, yes, I am a girl's girl and all encompassing of the word. And I want my clothes to reflect that and I think I watch a lot of shows around women in groups Real Housewives counts Yellow Jackets has been really good to watch those are the first two that come to mind because I watched them this week but I also like what are some traits that I admire but also like clothing like what is something that I would wear that I would feel good and what's like the happy balance for me and I've leaned into personal style over what's trendy and that's also been really helpful and so I you'll see me in like more like larger jeans but unless it's the winter and I'm wearing the standard UGG boot you typically won't catch me in a skinny jean catch me in some cargos you'll catch me in like a sweatshirt I am trying to learn how to accessorize more with jewelry that is not an Apple watch I have been a tried and true fan And so I am trying to grow up a little bit and ditch the Apple Watch. But also watching this emergence of girls supporting girls, women just being authentically themselves has been really healing for me in so many ways that I didn't expect it to. Even thinking about the Barbie movie, I saw it twice this summer. And I love the line where America Ferrer is giving that iconic dialogue. and or monologue and she is saying I'm so tired of seeing every other woman that I know turning themselves and not to be liked by someone else and I can imagine that any woman listening to this right now has found themselves wondering how can I bend myself so that this person likes me so that I don't I seem more palatable at my job so that I can attract the guy I can attract the girl and that shit's exhausting and it just does something to our self-esteem over time we're constantly questioning ourselves and I tell my friends I tell anybody that I have the chance to talk to I am a firm proponent and trusting yourself trusting in who you are I recognize and I firmly stand on this fact that there are so many people who would benefit and who would celebrate you the ambiguous general you to not trust yourself your employer your sadly some snaky friends that you might have your partner who benefits from you bending over backwards to please them even your family sometimes people are so much more comfortable with you not trusting yourself because they recognize that they gain from you and questioning yourself compromising yourself being insecure they recognize oh wow I can get so much more from her when she's not herself when she's not trusting herself when she's not questioning herself that is terrible that is that is a very recent realization for me and so that's something that I've been sitting with but I'm just coming on here today to remind you that to trust like above all else and if it feels selfish if it feels like it's too much it's because it's it might be new it's like riding a bike when you get on for the first time you might bump into the curb you might fall off scrape your knee but you keep doing it and you keep trying it and eventually it gets easier the same applies with trusting yourself when you do it so often when you allow yourself to lean into your own intuition and you and think okay what feels right to me what feel feels good to me then I promise you not only can you love yourself better but you can love other people better for me in my own life and not trusting myself it has ultimately left me feeling resentful to the other person and it's left me feeling really empty within myself resentful because I'm I'm giving so much I'm giving I'm giving and then I'm like why aren't they giving back to me or I have a hunch about somebody and I'm like you know what okay whatever maybe I'm being very critical very early maybe I don't know the person that maybe I need to give them more of a chance and then they show me exactly what What I already knew, what I already saw, and yet I let other people convince me that maybe I was making it up or maybe I was thinking something that wasn't there. And that has ultimately left me hurt. It's left me questioning myself and me spending so much time questioning myself has left me in such a deep pit of insecurity, a deep pit of feeling not worthy, not valuable, feeling like I can't trust myself. And I truthfully cannot imagine getting back to that place. that's not to say that it's perfect right now that's not to say that there aren't moments where I do feel insecure I feel like I can't trust my own perception but I work pretty damn hard to make sure the moments where I am not questioning myself that I am leaning into it full force and being unapologetic about it and that can be unsettling for some people and I don't know at some point I have to care more about my own self-preservation than making other people feel comfortable I have to stop making so much space for other people and start make making some hell of a lot more space for myself and stop shrinking myself and I think that is the epitome of this girl summer that we are seeing even even Rat Girl Summer the antithesis of Rat Girl Summer is being you unapologetically whether that is being in the park and spending time with nature whether that is is getting absolutely feral at the club with your bestie and just letting it all out on the dance floor and then being able to wake up and laugh about it the next day whether that's the rot so whether that's sitting in bed for a day and not shaming ourselves for resting and giving ourselves the break that we need to survive every angle that gets thrown at us in life. I love that we are hopefully getting to a place where women can just exist. And I think within media this year, that is what I'm seeing is that women can now just exist. We can be ourselves. We can be whatever. And it really just doesn't matter if you're not hurting someone else, if you're not doing any harm, if you are still moving with the best intentions, if you are moving from a place of love, from a place of kindness, kindness it really does not matter like what you do I'm good I'm gold I'm supporting her I'm riding for her like at dawn I am I am Paul Revere in that thing and just hyping her up every every step of the way and I don't know if there's much more to say than that I am I'm so excited for the feedback that I've gotten I'm so grateful and appreciative for people that have taken a second to listen and I am so thrilled to be able to present more for you all to get my social media going this has just been a really fun process for me to learn how to record episodes and really learn how to tell stories and put myself out there And I hope that these stories continue to resonate with you all. I hope that they are fun and yet maybe a little bit thought provoking because that's just who I am. And I'll catch you on the flip side. As I've stated before, I'll end every episode raising awareness to a cause or an organization that I think is doing really meaningful work. And today I want to give a shout out to Free From. So Free From is an agency that essentially supports women who are finding themselves in positions of gender-based violence. And the goal of this agency is to support the women into finding financial freedom. And I mean, with financial freedom comes liberation it comes the option to move more freely to make your own choices and so this is a this is for all women but especially highlighting queer trans immigrant and BIPOC survivors of gender-based violence I love the work that they are doing I love the work culture they are a organization of its mission to allow women to bring their kids to work to cover health vision and dental insurance per and professional growth options and when we think about the restraints that come with gender-based violence not just the mental toll that it takes but being able to physically navigate that situation and being able to physically for yourself I love that all women have this option I love that it is it is one that is truly for all women and so if you have time check out their website don't Donate time, donate funds if you have them, or just know this as a resource, as an option for someone that you might know who might be in this position. Thanks for tuning in. I love you. And I'll see you next time.