self-love > hustle: redefining success with Melissa Hussong

in this episode of all our parts, i’m joined by melissa — co-host of the full time freedom podcast — for a powerful conversation on what burnout really is and how self-love can be a way out.

we talk about:

✨ how to recognize the subtle signs of burnout before you crash

✨ why rest isn’t just a reward — it’s a right

✨ how self-compassion helps us unlearn hustle culture

✨ choosing yourself without guilt (especially when you’re used to overgiving)

if you’ve been running on empty, feeling disconnected from your body, or trying to figure out what balance even means — this one’s for you.

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/59YI5SECPNYJVtC92Z7dMT?si=7f37c89913924223IG: https://www.instagram.com/melissahussong/Blog: https://www.herhandlebars.com

Transcript

 Welcome to All Our Parts, where all of it is brought to the table. The messy, the joyful, the mundane, and everything in between. Where we talk about that terrible friendship breakup, where we talk about how we've lost ourselves and how we've come back to ourselves. This is the show that will offer strategy, a laugh, and maybe a cry, but you'll leave feeling like you can make the steps towards being your most authentic  authentic    📍  Hello, everyone. Welcome back to All Our Parts. I am your host, Jasmine Proctor, and I am here with Melissa. She's the host of, co host of Full Time Freedom podcast. She is based in Australia. I'm so happy to have you here today. Thanks, Jaz.  So we are going to be talking about burnout and self love. So just to start us off, big question,  Is burnout and self love correlated in any way? 

Yes. Oh my gosh. In a big way. Yeah, definitely. I think. The reason that we go into burnout and we have all these behavioral stages that like eventually lead us to burnout is because at the core of it, we're not valuing ourselves. We're not being ourselves and we're not just loving ourselves as we are in this moment and realizing that that is enough.

And then because we don't see that we're enough, We push, we pull, we strive, we hustle, we grind, we do all of these things that  isn't, like, natural for ourselves, it's not natural for our bodies or our brains, and then we lead into these stages of just chronic health issues, chronic tired, just unhealthy states, and It's very common.

Like, I think that's the other thing. A lot of us beat ourselves up when we feel like, Oh, I'm burnout. I'm like, I'm so tired. I just want to sleep through my alarm again. I, I just want to go to bed at 7 PM. And that is actually not uncommon in this society, this world, but realizing that, okay, how do I, how do I feel this way?

Why do I feel this way? And then leaning more into that self love piece. Yeah. You just spoke to  so much, which leads to just to get us all on the same lay of the land. I mean, when we think about burnout, burnout isn't just being tired. It's not just feeling fed up with work. It's not just feeling like, Oh, I think I want to do different career path.

It's so much more than that. So how do you define burnout?  Yeah, I define burnout as something that's really chronically affecting you. And affecting your ability to show up as your best self in probably more than one aspect of life. So let's be real, you know, it's chronic exhaustion. It's just not feeling like yourself.

It's feeling like, Oh, today I just don't want to do it. But like all week, you just haven't been in that zone either.  So it really has a chronic piece to it. It's not just like, Oh, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, or, I am, you know,  just having a mood. It's like something that's affected you on the term that you can't seem to shake no matter what you try. 

Yeah. It's, it is a physical, it is physiological. It is psychological too. It's this idea that,  Oh man, I'm waking up. I'm feeling  physical exhaustion. I am feeling mentally exhausted. Not, not able to quite pinpoint what. And  I feel like. It's almost terrifying sometimes to look at. Our jobs as the source of burnout, because then that means we have to do something about it.

We have, we might have to do something with it or  come to terms with the fact that  we have invested so much of our identities, so much of our self worth into the work that we're doing.  Yeah. I feel like burnout, you know, when I think about this, I'm like, it's like we're like batteries. Right. And my phone shows me the percentage of like juice that I have left on my battery.

And like, I could leave my house in the morning on 30%, and I feel like a lot of people are just like, kind of going around at like 30 percent fully charged, and then I know, but at some point during the day, my phone's gonna die, or like, I'm gonna basically ration the apps that I use because I don't want to Use up all the battery before I can recharge. 

But like, that's not a way to live. Like we need to be able to access all of our parts all of the time and show up as ourselves as our true selves.  So we need to get to 80%. So we need to be like recharging our battery before it's like mission critical. We need to be like at that 80%. And I get a notification that says your battery is fully charged.

You can unplug now. And I'm like, no, I'm going to go to a hundred percent just in case. Like I always do that.  And I don't think it's good for the battery. Someone told me that, but I'm like, no, I want a hundred percent. So, you know, I feel like we need to be functioning at that 80%. Anything on top of that is a bonus so that we can start our day.

We can live our lives. Knowing that we can tap into all of our potential all of the time and be okay with that because, you know, we are taking care of ourselves enough to get to that point.  Yeah. And then, I mean, tagging right along the battery analogy. Once we are charged up to a hundred percent, we don't need to go full throttle and use up all of that 100% that we have.

We don't need to wake up and say, oh, 100%. Boom. Go back and practice the old habits. It's almost like, okay, great. I'm at 100% and now I need to evaluate and really look at how can I incorporate.  How can I prioritize myself in my work in my business?  Yeah, no, that is so real jazz. And Yeah, I, I agree. And I feel like where the self love piece comes in is, you know, when we're functioning at that 30%, like, if you were to sort of get a transcript of our thoughts throughout the day, it would be appalling how mean we are to ourselves.

And like, that negative I would not speak to anyone else in my life,  anyone else in the world, but like, I say the meanest things to myself  and  I think we all do, right? Like it's just, just,  just rife the amount of negativity that we have absorbed from other people, from society, from people, like it's no one's fault. 

But I think we do have a responsibility to sort of unpack that and be like, well, whose thoughts are they? And Jess, I know you talk a lot about this on the podcast, but like, okay, so, you know, for probably 32 years of my life, I walked around telling myself, I'm an effing idiot. I'm effing dumb. No one cares what I say.

Like, and that was real talk. My internal talk.  I was like, wow, that wasn't me. Yeah. I didn't think of those words. Like that came from my brother when I was growing up. He didn't say it all the time, but he would say it occasionally. And I absorbed that and that became my inner self talk. Yeah. And. We just, we go around beating ourselves up, but it, but you, you know, okay.

So we know that that didn't come from us. So what does like take that out of it, unpack it and say.  Like, okay, if I don't have those thoughts, then who am I? Oh, I'm actually not that bad. Like people do care about me. People do listen to me. I am making an impact and getting real about that. And starting from the inside out  to say, like,  I believe that I'm okay. 

I believe that I'm enough and  then watching our external reality start to reflect that because we're no longer being so mean to ourselves. We're getting closer to that 80 percent charge. Yeah. You just, I mean, you just spoke to a really critical piece, but a very  challenging piece and that's identifying what is our internal voice?

What, who is our internal voice? Is it ours? I, I find myself with work of  when I'm getting into that spiral of, I'm not doing enough. I'm not enough in this, that, and the other. I have to stop myself and ask when I was born, did I think about myself this way? Or when I was two or three, did I, is this how I felt about myself?

And when I asked myself that question, it was honestly jarring at first because I recognized I'm like,  Child me did not think of myself this way. The, the innocence and naivety is lost when external factors start to develop our internal voice. And then I realized, oh, it was family. It was people who I surrounded myself with so often that. 

were starting to be a culmination of my internal voice. And  I basically had to spend  lots of time in therapy, unpacking like, okay, this is where I got it from. I do not want this clouding  or muddying up my internal voice because I, I want to be able to move with confidence. And truthfully, I don't want to always be beating myself up every time  something that isn't going to plan happens.

And cause that also contributes to burnout. When we are beating ourselves up, when we are working from a place of shame, we are just, we are not like that. Self compassion isn't being incorporated. And then we're just tired because it's just a spiral and it loops and it goes. Round and around, basically. 

Yeah, absolutely. And I, what you just highlighted there, Jaz, is that becoming aware. And I think some, sometimes, you know, we're living our lives and we're like, Oh, I don't have time to like sit down and think about it. But it's something that we can just track throughout the day. Like. For anyone listening, it's like, just write down.

Okay. I just had like a really mean thought, write it down, look at it, be like, wow. Who does that sound like? Oh, if I were to guess, it sounds like my uncle, you know, whatever. And, um, that can be a great activity, but I think what, what you're really, that next step there is okay. Figuring out. We know who it came from.

It didn't come from us. So we need to radically, deeply unconditionally love and accept ourselves anyway, despite what we're going through, despite our perceived failures, because that's what it is. It's, it's not real. Failure is not a thing. It's just what we think of it is a judgment. Um, and, uh, like kind of a modality, uh, a therapy that I love to share with clients is called mirror work.

And it is, uh, it really pairs affirmations with that radical self love. Um, but the, the unique piece is that you're actually looking yourself in the mirror.  So you're standing in front of the bathroom, like obviously keep it private, shut the door. That's how I do it. And you know, you start by just saying,  You know, insert name.

I love you, Melissa. I really, really love you  and anyone would, you know, insert your name, but you're looking at your eyes in the mirror, you're addressing yourself. You're addressing your body  and you're just saying, I love you.  And something happens when we say those words to ourselves, looking at ourselves. 

is so emotional and, um, it's quite confronting because we've lived our lives the opposite. Yeah. We've been taught to hate ourselves.  And I think that translates to everyone, but when you can actually stand there and like have that piece of resistance and be like, no, I'm planting your flag in the, in the sand and say, I'm not doing that anymore.

Like I'm going to love myself no matter what.  And then. The shame starts to dissolve and then like the everything else starts to dissolve because We say yes, even though I didn't send all those emails today. I still love myself and that's okay Yeah, even though I didn't reply to all my threads today That's okay because I still accept who I am. 

And when that happens,  it is really that kind of concrete step to like, get us to that next stage of like, okay, I don't need to do the burnout activities anymore because like, I don't feel like I need to be more than who I am because that's enough.  Melissa, that was just so powerful. What you just shared.

I mean, my first thought is  the research says that eye contact is one of the most vulnerable things we can share with another person. But to have eye contact with ourselves to look at ourselves deeply and say,  you know, regardless of the day, regardless of what you did or did not do today, you are enough.

You are still love. You are still.  So worthy and that all that  just peels away the layer that our worth is defined by our action or work. And it, it is the affirmation that we  are whole regardless of. And I, I think we don't always give ourselves  enough space to do that. I know I do not always give myself enough space to do that.

And, and thinking about when  I think my two jobs ago, Um, I worked in like a case management setting and  I was so passionate about the work and I was like, okay, I want to do more. I want to do more. I want to do more. And it was right around COVID as well.  And I'm, I'm buying things for the kid and I'm just doing so much.

And I am exhausted. Like I've hit my peak and I'm like, Oh, I need to, Take a nap. And then the nap doesn't work. And then I'm like, Oh, I need to go to the beach. And then I'm going to the beach every single weekend and that's not working. And, and then I'm coming into work sobbing because I'm not  quote unquote doing enough.

And it got to a point where my immune system was like, you have to make active changes  or I'm going to sit you down. And it actually did sit me down. I was,  deeply ill. I, fevers, I mean, chills,  heavy fatigue, like chronic fatigue. It was so hard to even like cook meals sometimes.  And  long story short, I quit that job and my health  like made significant improvement in a way that no  blood work can, could even  conceptualize.

And so after that, I was like, Oh shoot, I got to make some real changes. I  deserve to offer myself so much more love and it, it totally rippled  having to set better boundaries with work, what work looks like for me, and even it also reshaped a lot of my relationships, how I show up in my relationships, because  I can't say that the patterns that were showing up at work weren't also showing up in my relationships.

They all, you know, ultimately work together. And now I am much more vigilant about when my stress levels become too high because I'm like, it's not worth it.  Yeah, absolutely. We're there. And that was so beautiful, Jazz. Thanks for sharing. What, what, Uh, sort of, you know, do you do self care techniques now?

Like, how do you kind of get to,  how do you sort of stop yourself getting to that burnout point?  That actually happened this week. I found myself  working, I was working and  I kind of have given myself a mental stop sign. And also I have been on, uh, antidepressant that works for me. I'll be very honest about that.

I've been on Prozac for the last two years.  And that has really helped me put up a mental stop sign of like, Oh,  stop and listen to your body. Slow down. Your body is like tired. It is allow yourself to, to rest, allow yourself to just do an admin day on the couch and watch two TV. No one says those two things cannot exist at the same time.

Society might say I need to be in the office 9am. With my coffee, having a working lunch, but I can decide like, no, my body's asking for something different. It's asking maybe to take a nap in the middle of the day. And so I'm much more. aware of, and I'm almost much more sensitive of the awareness to my body because I can, I know what the other side of that feels like.

Oh, that's so good. You're a pro. I love that mental, um,  mental kind of stop sign. I have something similar where, yeah, I, um, four years ago, probably five years I was in my, my very last corporate nine to five and I was. I was working in a hospital during COVID and enough said, right, we can all imagine. Yes.

And I just ended up in the emergency room with like chronic abdominal pains one night. Like I felt like my body was exploding and the, no one knew what to do. They were like, okay, we did all the tests. We ran all the things. I don't know, like go home and see how it goes. I was like, but I just.  I couldn't stand up.

Like I had these chronic pains and I think when our body says like, no, enough is enough, that's always the,  the sort of  catalyst for these like journeys. Right. And, um, I remember just being like, that's, that's not good enough. I need to figure this out. And you know, the more you dig, the more you realize it's like, no, I actually, that was a significant time in my life of several years in a row where I hated myself. 

Like I look back in those photos and I just have such compassion for who I was because I just want to reach out and hug myself because I, it was a tough time mentally, uh, self image wise, you know, all of that. And, um, yeah, so I've definitely seen that side of what that burnout can lead to. But before, before I, now, when I, in my business, I get to the point where I'm like, I have a similar thing.

If I have these racing thoughts, I'll stop. If I, the other thing, the one trigger that I'm like, no, I need to shut my laptop and go to bed is when I'm like, Oh, let me just do one more thing. And it's like eight or nine o'clock. And I'm like, Oh, let me quick, just like send that email. Let me just review this marketing, whatever.

And I'm like, no. That's, that's it for me. Like if I'm, if I have a scarcity mindset and I think that's what it is too, is if I feel like a scarcity of time or a scarcity of ideas or something, that's where I'm like, no, because abundance is where it's at. That's like our natural state and that's where love is, you know, you don't ration love.

You don't say love only goes to this person, this person, you get this much, you get this much, you know, abundance is our natural state. And then. Every time I go into the scarcity, that's where I'm like, burn out territory. Because I'm like going to hustle and I'm like trying to, you know, work it and stuff.

And, um, those are my indications of like, okay, enough is enough.  Thank you so much for sharing that. And I, I so deeply resonate and empathize with what you just shared because all of my health stuff was also during COVID and I was getting blood work done. They were like, you don't have COVID. I'm like, well,  I'm falling out in my garage.

I would like to know what's going on. And they're like, okay, we'll run these tests. And there was still nothing. And, you know, to tie in both of our stories.  It's not just the mind, but there's this deep connection to the body that we don't always pay attention to, that we don't always trust is giving us honest indicators.

Why? Because society says, laziness, society says you need to do more to have more. Society says, this is what the American dream.  And our bodies are telling us when enough is enough and our bodies will, as I say, it will sit us down if we are not going to sit down ourselves.  And it sounds like both of us can attest to that's something that it's harder to get back up.

It takes much more work versus just saying, you know what?  There are some limits that  I need to set. I think for me, it's one of my main, I think in trusting myself is  trusting my gut feeling about something and allowing that to be enough and processing it.  And from with an outside third party or with my therapist, if my gut might be misleading me or might be responding just based on previous experiences, but truly leaning into  knowing what is right for me and trusting that, trusting that without an outside opinion, trusting that without  it looking like the, the right thing to do, or.

Whatever the case may be,  but even that is sometimes it's, it's round upon because our intuition will sometimes steer us from what is. popular or what is,  or what is, um,  you know, what is considered a productive work dynamic.  Absolutely. And intuition, like it, I love that you bring this up jazz because intuition can't be proved.

It's not, it doesn't always match what we think is logical. Like you can't always back it up with data. And that's why it freaks us out because you know, we're like in this burnout, like super highly dysregulated state and we need data and we need to, uh, Make the best decision and optimize and all that.

But it's like, intuition is our inner guiding light. It's like our inner compass. Right. And like the magnetic north, like when the needle goes magnetic north, like that's going to take us to the thing that's best for us.  But how often do we have examples in our life of going against intuition and you're like, I knew it.

I knew that person was shady. I knew that they were going to do me wrong. I knew that that was going to happen.  I knew that was a bad choice. I knew I shouldn't have done business with that person.  Like everyone has a million examples of those.  For sure. Yeah. But it's , but it's like we need a million examples of the other side of like, wow, I really leaned into my intuition when I was at a fork in the roads and you know, I just listened to what my gut was telling me and I went with it  unquestioningly, and it led me to this amazing outcome.

Like that's what I would love for the world to do more of. And.  I think when we can start to lean into our gut for our intuition, like you were just saying, Jazz, it's like you start to develop that muscle. It becomes stronger and that can kind of become a little part of your internal voice is like, Oh, hang on.

I'm going to turn the chit chat off up in my brain and listen to what my gut says. And, um, what I love to do with clients is like, figure out in your body, like how does a yes sound  like actually kind of get quiet, take some deep breaths, just kind of. Be just in your vibe for a minute for probably five to ten and just ask yourself a question that you know is a yes Mm hmm and just do it with that and be like, okay.

Wow. I feel like a lightness in my chest I feel like a little bit of butterflies like maybe you kind of express You expand a bit or you lean back  and then lean into that and say, okay, what does a no feel like?  And then you ask a question  of what you know is a no answer and then you pay attention and you lean into, okay, how does a no show up?

Is it the opposite? Is it something else? Maybe it's like a pit in your stomach or maybe it's like a little shiver or something. Um, those, that, that kind of, when you calibrate your intuition in that way, Bye. You can start to leverage your intuition for decision making. Um, and that is where it gets so juicy for business.

So juicy because it's like you can't make a bad decision with your intuition. Like it's got your back.  Well, that you just  tie up the scarcity versus abundance mindset. So clearly, I think. Abundance is terrifying because sometimes we can look at something and say, Oh, it worked out. And then go, Oh, it was that simple.

Like  we have this idea that something has to be harder. It has to come with a struggle, but if we are truly in alignment with our intuition, if we are in alignment with abundance, It will flow. That's not to say that there won't be work attached to it. That won't say that there's no effort required, but it will flow.

And because burnout disconnects us too much from our body, we often then get into this idea that urgency is what is going to drive us and make us move. And I recently made a post where I was like, urgency is basically fear on Red Bull. It's like this, this need to do this need to accomplish this need to overcompensate for the insecurity that we are feeling about ourself in that moment because that burnout has connected us to urgency and has connected disembodied us from our intuition. 

Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing.  It's,  and I mean, I want to even discuss COVID a little bit because I feel like COVID also really  shifted the way  we address burnout, even with a lot of us who now work from home. Mostly. And  how, how have you been able to set limits in your business post COVID?  Yeah. What I love is, is just boundaries, like time boundaries at a very like low hanging fruit kind of basic level is just decide what you have capacity for.

Like on any given day, on any given week, like.  What are, what are the things you want to focus on sort of at a starting point? And there might be two to three. We don't want to get crazy because if we go 10, then it's like, it's not going to get done. And then you'll, we'll feel bad about it. So let's start with just a couple of priorities and then decide, okay, today's Monday. 

When, what time am I going to fit this in?  And sometimes that might look like, you know, taking clients from nine to 12 or nine to 11, and then that's your client time for the week or for Mondays. And then it might be emails from one to two sort of thing. So it's like, it's deciding what that time boundary is and sticking to it.

So to give you a real. example from my life. Um, today is Thursday for me. So I do podcasts kind of first thing in the morning and then I run into clients. So I'll do clients for a couple of hours from like nine to 11 and then I have that lunch break and then I'll do sort of podcasts recording or, um, radio slots, you know, radio interviews for my radio show.

And I know when my week starts that like on this day, I'm going to be doing this. And, um, That just contain, it puts it in a container for me. So I'm not spending,  you know, an hour every single day being like, Oh, I have a client. Okay. I've got to mentally get in the zone. I got to energetically get in the zone.

I got to look nice. I got to put my camera on and get the light out. So it's like, okay, it's, it's finding these efficiencies. It's kind of a, it's a time boundary setting those boundaries, but also like a batching mindset. So like figuring out, okay, how can I batch this work so that I'm doing it in one short sprint, as opposed to like spreading it out throughout my day.

And then like, Mentally, you have all this back and forth of like, Oh, I haven't done that yet. Or I still have to get that client call. So, um, those are the big ones to me is, is setting that time boundary and then batching the work for efficiency.  Yeah.  But I think a time boundary is, it also allows space to like compartmentalize the day, like podcasting in the morning, working with clients and this, because you're right.

It's. You have to get into a mindset when working with other people when talking with other people and being a vessel for someone else to support them. It's a totally different mindset than having a conversation with a friend or going out to dinner or being with family. And so  I am with you with the batching piece because I like to be in it.

And then when I'm out of it, I like to be out of it. I don't like to jump out of it and go eat lunch and then jump back into it. I'm like, once I'm done, I'm done. And you know, similar to you, I, I think time boundaries have also been a real gift for me  in the morning. I love a slow morning. Like I will wake up at 6 AM. 

And I will just enjoy for like four hours. I'll walk my dog, I'll eat breakfast and sit there. I'll read if I feel like reading, but I give myself that space in the morning to just, you know, be and not expect any urgency. And I've also been incorporating where I don't make any decisions in bed  because I'm not awake yet.

I am,  I am kind of still tired, but I'm laying there. And I found that when I was doing that, I was more likely to order out or I was more likely to get less than what I needed to. Done or I would often make decisions based on how I was feeling in that moment and not how I was feeling at 2 p. m. or 3 p. m.

And then I Locked myself into this mindset of  so tired getting up at 10 a. m. And so I wake up, I get out of bed at 6 a. m. and I just allow the morning to be  the morning. And then 10 a. m. is when I say, okay, work,  eat lunch, take a little lunch break. And then the evening really  7 p. m. is when  brains off like that is.

I can't do anything. I'm on, I may be on threads because I feel like that's a bit of a lower maintenance social media task. But  I am, I cannot respond to an email. I cannot plan. I cannot plot because, and I know I'm tired by then. And so I feel that urgency start to creep up if I'm planning or have this bright idea, I might take a little note and save it for the morning, but getting into anything after 7 PM for me, it, it, it is a, it is a recipe for that burnout. 

That's beautiful. Well, slow mornings.  That sounds so nice.  It's,  it's amazing. It's, I think we, it also has helped with like regulating my nervous system. I think that,  I don't know where I saw it. I've seen it in multiple places, but this idea that our bodies are not meant to jump from one task to the other, but we need like breaks.

We need that, that buffer, that intermission to go, okay, now I'm going to do this and now I'm going to do that.  Yeah, absolutely. I love to, um, bake in little breaks into my day for that reason. Cause yeah, I, I get on this burnout cycle and I can quite easily get back on the treadmill, like towards burnout.

Like I'm always like on the edge of that going in the fast lane. Um, but I think it's, it's hitting like that cruise control and being like, okay, no, I'm cool cruising. I'm going to get to my, I ride motorcycles. So I think very much like in this all the time. So it's like, I'm going to go cruise control. I will get to my destination eventually.

It won't be. as fast as I could have got there, but it's still, I'm going to reach my outcome. I'm probably going to see more of the scenery. I'm going to enjoy the ride and I won't use as much gas because I'm going at a comfortable  pace. Yeah.  And then it's that reminder, that mirror technique that you shared of,  Even going at the pace that is comfortable is enough.

We are enough as we are. We are already whole.  Yeah, absolutely.  So for anyone that is, You know, listening, Melissa, what is your, you know, biggest piece of advice as it relates to  just being a, being able to identify the burnout? Or what would you share with someone who is expressing that exhaustion, that just mentally feeling like they, they can't catch a break and And like a vacation or a sleep just isn't enough. 

Yeah. I would say for starters, yeah. Just recognizing that you're in a state of like emotional, chronic, physical, um, strain and burnout and just, okay, stop, pause, everyone pause, and then work yourself out of it. And, and the piece that I really want to talk about there is like, do what you love. Okay. That's going to pull you out.

That's going to pull you out. Not more emails, not more social media, not more doing things for other people,  not more taking on projects at work. What's going to pull you out is doing what you love.  And what pulled me out of my, my chronic burnout. And I didn't mention this, but when I was at the hospital like that, That went into about a two year infertility, um,  battle.

I don't know how you want to say that crisis health situation, health situation. And for two years, I didn't know if I could have kids because of that. And no one could tell me if I could, most people were like, I don't know, like wait and see, but like not positive, you know? And, um,  I just thought, okay, like I've done.

All the things  I've even exhausted all my options. I kind of went into a burnout cycle of like figure out my health because that's just like the patterns I was into, but doing what I loved. And that was riding motorcycles.  Like I was like, F this, I'm done. Like I'm tapping out of this health BS and I just need to do what I love right now.

I just need to ride. I just need to go hit the Mississippi and ride as far South as I can. I'm gonna, I lived in Minnesota. I'm going to ride to the black Hills for five days and just camp in nature by myself. Like, that's how I did it for me. And I think when we lean into and give ourselves permission, To love what we love, do what lights us up, for no other reason than it lights us up. 

Yes, 100%. I want to cosign,  do what you  love. What you just spoke to is,  I mean, If we don't always give ourselves enough space to enjoy something, we, we look for ways to, to monetize. And that's, I mean, that's the world that we live in where some it, it's tough, it's hard out here sometimes, and  we look for ways to capitalize or leverage our skills and we don't give ourselves  the space enough to  just enjoy, like just be I. 

I also didn't speak on the, you know, incorporating the things that I enjoy, but I love to paint. Not good at it. And I can't, I won't sell it, but it's this creative medium that allowed me to get out of my head, which I think is also another piece that you're speaking to with motorcycling, with going outside.

It's not, it's not something we can journal our way out. It's not something that we can talk our way out of. It is,  it is expression  through the body in a way it is connecting with nature. It's connecting with all the senses and saying, okay, this is what is going to light a fire in me. It's not going to be how much money I make.

It's not going to be my work. It's not going to be the notoriety of my work. It is going to be. Being able to just sit down and paint. I even when slime was a big trend, I bought like a gallon of glue. And I was like, I'm gonna make slime. I was like this, the sensory aspect of it. And I still have not made the best slime yet.

And that's okay. It is just nice to. Also be able to make a mess with no repercussions. Like that's almost inner child healing in a way. Like no one's going to say, Oh, you're making a mess. Don't get it on the carpet. Don't get it on the couch. It's like, no, it's my couch and I'm going to make, I'm going to make slime.

And another hobby, I guess, hobby, a creative outlet that I enjoy is cooking. I love to cook. I love to cook for the people in my life. It was  something that I recognize that I didn't need to be perfect. But if I was doing it from a place of love,  it would always taste good.  There's no measurement. There's no,  um, I don't need to be like a Michelin star chef.

I'm not, I'm not nitpicking or critiquing how I'm slicing something. I am simply serving it from the purest place of my heart. And that, that has been its own, you know, opportunity being able to cook.  Other people as well as myself, because I'm also pouring that love into myself as well. And so I, I love what I eat and I wanna be able to enjoy what I eat and I want it to be nourishing.

And that has allowed me to definitely be more connected with my body and spirit.  Hmm. That's beautiful. And I, and I would bet jazz that when you do those activities, you probably hear your intuition more. You're probably. breathing slower, you're probably all the chit chatter of like all the worries and stress that we have probably goes away.

That sounds like just some beautiful practices.  Same to you as well. Motorcycling is cool.  Thanks. I love it. I've, uh, I've been riding for like five years and, um, it's just something that I, I haven't, I haven't experienced anywhere else. It's, it's different. Yeah, that's how I feel about painting. And  it takes me to a different place.

And  it's not a place that  I've found with anything else, really. It's just, it's just his own special,  um,  place. 

Melissa, this was such an enriching conversation. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk and share. And I can't wait, you know, to, I hope we stay connected. Um, just to close out, Are there any offerings that you wanted to share with the audience?  Yeah, I do. So my signature offer is called burnt out to badass.

So I incorporate all my learnings from my business podcast, full time freedom. It's the top 10 percent podcast. And then I have a radio show as well talking to business women and I incorporate all those learnings into this 12 week program. So I take women entrepreneurs who are scaling their businesses from burnt out, you know, Struggling with the overwhelm, all the stress, all the anxiety.

And in those 12 weeks, we worked through all those modalities. Some I talked about today and at the end of it. You're a badass. You feel like you can handle anything and you're just confident. You have that clarity and you're also making cashflow in your business and scaling in a way that feels really good and aligned.

So that's my signature offer. Um, I'm also on all the social medias. I share a ton of free content. So even if you never work with me, like hit my content, um, because I share a lot of my, you know, Things that I'm just going through that I've learned that clients are going through sharing it, not gatekeeping.

Just want to help raise up women everywhere. So, um, I'm on socials at Melissa Hassong. My website is www. herhandlebars.  com. And, uh, cause I started as a motorcycle content creator, but yeah, if you want a free call, DM me and we can set something up. We'll talk strategy. We'll figure out, you know, where you're stuck in your business and, um, help you get from where you are to where you want to be. 

Amazing. Thank you so much. Thanks, Jaz.