Unlearning Diet Culture for Good: How Intuitive Eating, Self-Compassion, and Pleasure Help Us Rebuild Trust With Our Bodies with Michelle Pillepich

In this episode of The Visibility Standard (formerly All Our Parts), I’m joined by Michelle Pillepich—a registered dietitian celebrating six years in the field and four years running her own private practice—for a grounded, affirming conversation about healing from eating disorders, disordered eating, and years of toxic diet culture conditioning.

We talk about what intuitive eating actually looks like in real life (not the Instagram version), how self-compassion helps us reconnect with our bodies, and why movement should feel supportive—not punishing. Michelle also shares her unexpected journey from wanting to work in politics to finding her purpose in helping people rebuild a peaceful, trusting relationship with food.

In this episode, we explore:

• What intuitive eating really means beyond diet culture buzzwords
• Healing disordered eating through self-compassion and body trust
• Why movement should feel good—not earned, forced, or punishing
• Letting go of all-or-nothing thinking around food and body image
• Michelle’s path from politics to private practice and purpose-driven work

If you’ve ever felt at war with your body, confused by food rules, or exhausted by the mental load of diet culture, this episode is a reminder that food isn’t the enemy—it’s part of your freedom.

You don’t need more discipline. You don’t need another rule. You deserve nourishment, trust, and a relationship with food that actually supports your life.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Bye. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to All Our Parts. I am so excited to have my guest here. She is a registered dietitian and recently celebrating six years as an RD, four years in private practice, Michelle Pilipich. So excited to have you. Thank you so much for joining me today.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so proud you knew how to pronounce my last name.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Amazing start. I was locked in. I was like, I'm going to get this. And then you nailed it. And I'm so excited. So tell us first, what do you do as an RD in private practice?

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yes. It's a great question because I feel like a lot of people don't know. A lot of people have never seen an RD. A lot of my clients on discovery calls, they're like, what is this going to look like? So happy to share. In my practice, mostly work with clients working on recovery from eating disorders or some level of disordered eating or chronic dieting. So it's not exclusively eating disorders, I don't think the diagnosis is important at all. If anything is frustrating you about your relationship with food, then great. I would love to work with you. It is very similar. It's kind of like therapy for food in a way in terms of the logistics and the structure. I meet with clients virtually one-on-one for sessions, usually once a week or every other week. Some clients less frequently as time goes on. We talk about whatever is important and relevant to them that week. I'm very laid back. I don't really set an agenda, but we kind of see what's been coming up, what's been most challenging. Sometimes we are making grocery lists together and planning out what they're going to eat throughout the week. Sometimes we're talking about a particularly challenging food experience they had that maybe was really triggering. Sometimes we're talking about eating behaviors and how to move past those. A lot of the times we're doing a lot of diet myth busting or coming in with information they've maybe seen on social media about nutrition and we're talking about what's true what's not and also like what is necessary for them and what's not because there's so much noise out there so it's really an opportunity to tailor nutrition information to you as an individual and determine with somebody who knows you personally not just someone online who like doesn't even know your name um so that they can get the most support and feel better have energy Yeah, I

SPEAKER_00 2:37

was so excited when you asked to come on because I haven't had anybody yet talk about food, our relationship to food, and that when we think about what it means to take care of ourselves in a holistic way, food and movement are one of the critical ones and being able to have a healthy relationship with food or repair our relationship with food and movement is one of the critical ones. is really important. And I think it's a lot of, it's an experience a lot of us have gone through. And I love that you approach it from a non-pathologizing place because I think there are some aspects sometimes where we struggle with our food intake, whether it's too much, too little, restricting, and then how we use movement, whether as a reward or as a punishment or a contingency plan. Like there's so many ways that we can morph our relationship. And so when we approach it from a non-pathologizing place it allows some shame to kind of be taken away from it

SPEAKER_01 3:40

absolutely I mean diet culture and pathologizing just go hand in hand and so so many people have beliefs about themselves based on how they're eating what they're eating what they weigh what they look like and it really I mean I don't think toxic is too strong of a word like it is super toxic to have those thoughts about themselves based on the food you're putting in your body. Like that is not who you are. That doesn't define your morality. That doesn't define anything about you as a person. And like, you know, so much of it is based on what you have access to, what you're used to. Like there's just so much that goes into our food choices that is highly individual that like the judgment is out of control for no good reason. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

I have never, maybe I have, but not put it together in that way that our relationship with food can also determine our beliefs about ourselves. Like I've often thought about it with work. I've thought about it with, I mean, achievement, performance. I don't work a lot with eating disorders and the clinical aspect. And so I love learning more about how to approach it when I do have clients who have it more as like a secondary issue But yeah, to think about it as like, what does it say about us when we don't move, when we do move, when we're not moving enough, when we're not eating like that?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

And when you say that and hear that enough times, how can it not get ingrained in your thinking? And so, yeah, like clients come to me with a lot of shame based on their food choices because of that rhetoric.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Yeah. How did you get into this work?

SPEAKER_01 5:55

So I, when I was in grad school for nutrition, because I did not study nutrition in undergrad, I had kind of a career change, but I never really had a career before. I only interned. I study, I double majored in government and Hispanic studies in undergrad. And I thought I was going to like start a nonprofit or work for the UN or do something like that. Maybe work in the White House or something, which is hilarious now because that's just so not me. I'm like, get me away. But after I graduated, I had an internship in the political field and I was miserable, hated it. And I was like, I don't actually want to do this. So I was actually in D.C. at the time for a minute right after graduating. I moved back home to New Jersey. I was like, well, OK, if I don't want to do what I studied, what do I like? And I was just always reading food blogs and magazines and I was very interested in nutrition and at that time it was personally related because I was having a lot of GI issues and I think a lot of people get into the eating disorder field because they have their own experience with an eating disorder and I never had an eating disorder that got me into nutrition it was more like stomach issues I was having I had SIBO and went through that that initially got me interested in nutrition and then once I was in grad school I I learned about intuitive eating, not really through the school curriculum. It's not really taught in school, but I mean, my program was great and talked about health at every size a little bit. So I feel like that was the most that any program has. And I did love the program I went to, but I was following a lot of like the OG dietician bloggers and some of them talked about intuitive eating. So once I read the book, when I was in school, I read health at every size. And once I read those books and learned that philosophy, I just knew I couldn't practice any other way. I was like, this makes sense. This is it. Like this so aligns for me and this is how I want to practice. And the eating disorder field is just a natural fit for really being able to embrace intuitive eating. So that was the biggest reason why, you know, I also wanted to be in a field. I knew I wanted to work for myself eventually. And I knew I also wanted to be in a space that was collaborative. And so that is the eating disorder field. I am always working with therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, other care providers, which is really great. And, you know, like while I haven't had an eating disorder, find me one woman, especially who has never struggled with their body image. You know, like I definitely had my fair share of that, just wanting to change my body, wanting to look different, feeling self-conscious. And, you know, the mental health aspect, struggling myself with anxiety and depression is relatable as well. So I might not have the thoughts about food that my clients are struggling with, but I can relate to the feelings of anxiety in a different context. So all of that together is what drew me to this field. And I really love it. I

SPEAKER_00 9:06

love that. So it was pretty much like a pursuit of passion. Absolutely. Yeah, it was. Was it scary?

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Um, yeah. The eating

SPEAKER_00 9:18

disorders part or the private practice part? studying going to school for to pursue something that feels more aligned with who i am

SPEAKER_01 9:51

you know i am so glad you asked that question because i never really thought about it and I think it was stressful, just in the sense that applying to grad school was stressful. But scary, not really. I was so driven. I just have always been a person who really values doing work that I love. And I knew, you know, I am very career driven. And I just always knew I wanted to do something I was passionate about. And so if that wasn't happening I just thought I'm gonna pivot I'm not gonna do this like work is such a large part of our lives why would I do something that doesn't feel fulfilling so and I I am like the biggest advocate for everyone else anytime my friends are like I don't like my job I wish I could work for myself I'm like you can make it happen like tell me what you want to do let's make a plan let's do it I I think I've always been kind of a go-getter in that respect and so I actually wouldn't say it was scary. I can certainly understand how it would be for many people. And I guess I'm just grateful I didn't have that. I was all for it. So if anyone wants to do this and is scared, reach out. I'll hype you up.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Well, I am admiring the self-trust that you embodied in choosing that and pursuing that and being able to say, I am going to leave something that isn't fulfilling. The hope is that if I am going to pursue something that I love, that I am interested in, the results will come. home because I'm going to be putting in the work putting in the effort I don't want to stop learning about it I don't want to stop learning how I can be better at my craft that ultimately comes when we are passionate about the thing that we are doing

SPEAKER_01 11:52

yes and I mean I also love that you said it sounds like an intuitive process like what a parallel and it totally is even just as I personally got more into running I got my personal trainer certification I wanted to learn more about exercise so I could really talk more about exercise with my clients. I still specialize in eating disorders and that is still my niche since the beginning, but I'm shifting and growing in the way that I am personally. And I think that does reflect. And I also am now pursuing more training in the GI and gut health world, which at first, even though that was my experience, it was like, that was too close to home. I was like, I don't want to think about that stuff. I didn't like dealing with it. I don't want to do that with clients, but now I feel like, okay, I have enough distance from my own experience that I am really motivated to help clients with it. Just being able to learn new things within the field of nutrition. The world of nutrition is endless. So it is really nice to have opportunity to continue that growth while still doing what I started out wanting to do.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yeah. How do you implement or encourage your clients to implement movement in ways that are beneficial and for wellness versus outcome result oriented reasons?

SPEAKER_01 13:16

That's a great question. Really depends on the person. And especially if they have any disordered eating, It depends on where they're at in that process. So, you know, for somebody who has a history of restriction, is actively restricting, like... Movement is not the focus until you're eating enough because, you know, we need to be eating enough at baseline for our normal body functions before we add on the stress of exercise because people forget exercise is a stressor on your body. It's typically a positive stressor that leads to growth and strength and endurance. But if you're not eating enough, if you're not sleeping enough, if you're sick, if you're over stressed in other areas of your life, then it becomes a negative stressor and depletes you. And everybody loves the buzzword inflammation. That's going to cause inflammation. Like people don't think about exercise causing inflammation, but it absolutely can if you're not caring for yourself holistically. So that's the first step. You know, I give my clients kind of a five point check in for exercise. Am I eating enough? Am I hydrated? Have I slept? Am I sick or injured? And how is my overall stress? And you want to to look at those things before deciding to go do a workout any day. We want to make sure all that is in check. So caring for yourself physically with those baseline needs is number one. And then looking at Both intentions and enjoyment. So when you are engaging in exercise movement, any kind of activity, are you doing something you hate because you feel like you have to in order to look a certain way? Or are you doing something you love to help you feel the way you want to feel? So it's shifting from, and this is how I describe intuitive eating in general, shifting away from external rules towards internal guidance like not listening to what everybody's telling you to do listening to your body's guidance because you can be an active healthy fit strong person without ever setting foot in a gym so if you hate the gym like don't go to the gym

SPEAKER_00 15:39

and like you said those external rules it's like in our minds are like well everyone goes to the gym i'm supposed to wake up at 5 a.m and be at the gym

SPEAKER_01 15:46

right

SPEAKER_00 15:47

i remember like i would go back and forth i had a love of hate relationship with the gym I'm like yeah I'm supposed to be waking up going to the gym lifting weights and I would just feel miserable and actually I would get sick every time I was going to the gym like I would make it a couple months and then all of a sudden I'm like sick I'm like so now I have to cancel my membership because I don't feel well and then I was like but I don't even like going to the gym so now I'm just wasting time and wasting money it wasn't until like I started walking and I was Like, oh my God, I love walking. I like seeing the parks. I like seeing the scenery. And I was like, I love to walk. And I am feeling encouraged to move. I'm feeling encouraged to walk longer. I also play pickleball.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Love. I

SPEAKER_00 16:35

don't have to go to the gym. I'm still accomplishing the things that I would accomplish at the gym and other ways. And they still feel good to me.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Yes. And those things are enough. Like so many people tell me, well, I went for a walk, but like, that's not enough. That's not a workout. I didn't do enough today. No, you did. Like the, you know, the goals for activity from the American Heart Association to have good heart health is to get, oh my gosh, now I'm going to forget it. I think it's 150 minutes per week. Yeah. 150 minutes a week of moderate cardiovascular activity. Brisk walking falls into that category. So that is 30 minutes, five days a week of walking to achieve your heart health goals. So, you know, it doesn't have to be, I am killing myself in the gym for an hour, sweating as much as possible. You can do a brisk walk and maybe not even sweat depending on the weather and still be really putting in great effort into your health. And that can be like walking to the store, walking with your friend. It can be social. There's also, I think, this idea of fitness as like a solitary punishment activity. And if it's not hard and if it's not miserable, then I'm not really getting what I need to get out of it. But if it is hard and miserable, that is a recipe for burnout and not having longevity. And the most important thing for our actual wellness is to be consistently, sustainably active.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

And it goes back, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking about, it goes back to those beliefs about ourselves. Like, what does it say about me that I'm just walking, just doing pickleball, you know, twice a week? I'm just taking a stroll around the park, walking my dog. What does that say about me? And so part of, I guess, shifting our relationship to movement is also shifting our beliefs about ourselves with movement. We don't need to doing HIIT cardio. I love seeing the Batman training videos on TikTok. Like we do not, we don't need to do that to sustain like healthy, like practices.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Yeah. I mean, think about like, are you, you know, if you are pursuing some intense level of fitness, what are you looking for? Do you need to improve your blood sugar? Do you have actual markers? Are you working on bone density? Like what is the goal for your actual health? And for most people, that's probably not what they're thinking about. They're just thinking about the six pack. And like, that's why I have to be miserable to get there because honestly, yeah, if you want a six pack, you're going to be miserable getting there. That is just not realistic. Nobody has a six pack who is not in some way being paid to maintain it because they're a professional athlete, because They're mild because like something. It's not normal. It is not normal. I don't have a six pack. I've never had one. I don't know a single person in my real life who has one or ever has. And I know many fit, strong people, you know, like that is just not normal.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

As you're talking, I'm thinking about so long story short, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis like in 2020, like during COVID. I was so sick. I had to get all this blood work done. And when I would feel better because I felt so much guilt about having to like really rest, I would jump right into HIIT workout. very well needed that it was requiring and then I was like well I need to stop doing HIIT workouts yeah and goes back to the point like working out like can be a stressor if we're not doing it out of enjoyment if it is putting more strain on our body if it's putting strain on our mind as well like it's not helpful

SPEAKER_01 21:10

and there's this idea that I have to do it to earn And if I am going to rest for a significant amount of time, I need to make sure I'm eating less. And, you know, this is a conversation I have literally daily with clients. And I get it, right? Like, that's the message that's out there. You know, we grew up with those magazine graphics of like, one cupcake equals a zillion hours on the treadmill. Like, that is so messed up. And the truth is, we do not need to restrict when we're resting. We need to meet our basic needs, which is three meals a day, one snack at minimum, like eating every three to four hours throughout the entire day, maintaining your blood sugar, all of those things. And then we only need to add more to support the exercise when we're exercising. We do not need to intentionally restrict when we're not exercising because we also have to remember our body uses a lot of energy, energy being synonymous with calories. We use a lot for all of the intricate processes and functions that are happening in our body every single day. And our basal metabolic rate, the number of calories we burn at baseline just to stay alive, that is the majority of our calories per day that we're burning and that we need to intake. And that baseline doesn't include any movement. So the walk with your dog, okay, that adds to calorie burn. The however much time you spend folding laundry, that adds to calorie burn. Standing at the kitchen cooking, that adds to calorie burn. Like we only think about sweat as movement and all physical activity. I think the best thing you can do for your mindset with exercise is to shift away from like workouts and exercise and really think inclusive of physical activity.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

As you're, when you were talking about media, the show that popped into my head is The Biggest Loser and so growing up we are watching media portray like yes you do need to earn your food and like we're watching these people weigh themselves and they're devastated when they have a cupcake and they lose their weight goals and so we're watching that we're saying okay this is like healthy exercise and like you said the magazines how I lost 60 pounds in like 60 days and sadly it's re-emerging like we're reentering a culture where it really celebrates this intense diet food reward culture versus what is going to be the best most sustainable thing for my wellness

SPEAKER_01 24:02

right sustainable because yes we see the headlines how I lost 60 pounds in 60 days we never see the headline I gained it all back and more in the same amount of time and then I increased my set point weight and now I'm going to be in a bigger body or i'm going to continue weight cycling which is worse for your health than consistently being at a higher weight so there's so much nuance that is missed

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Yeah, we think about, yay, I can lose this weight quickly. But sometimes we lose sight of the fact like it's going to come back two times. And we haven't fixed our relationship to anything. We haven't fixed the relationship to ourselves. We haven't healed our relationship to food. We haven't healed our relationship to movement. We simply slapped a bandaid on it and hope for the best.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

And that's key. And that's why, you know, it is a careful process working on this with clients because you know I always tell people like my goal is for you to be healthy as an intuitive eating dietitian people will see that on social media and think oh she's going to make me eat ice cream every single day and I'm just going to become unhealthy and that's not the goal that would not be intuitive eating I want you to find a balance I want you to be healthy and I don't want you to have rules and restrictions And, you know, we absolutely do get to the point of talking about the prince of there are 10 principles of intuitive eating. Gentle nutrition is the last one. And it is last for a reason because we can't talk about your portions of vegetables and protein until we have complete permission for the carbs or else it's going to feel like a rule. It's going to feel like a diet. the restrict binge cycle is going to continue of feeling like, okay, well, I have to go all in on the protein and vegetables and never eat carbs. And then I eat a pound of French fries and then I feel guilty and it all continues. So people can feel frustrated in the early stages of intuitive eating, feeling like, well, I'm only going to gain weight or this isn't working or I don't feel healthy or I still want to eat a lot of this food. I don't understand. And we're just not used to playing the long game we're used to those quick fix diets and so I always tell people it's normal like when I have someone who's telling me oh my god I'm having all this success in like a month it makes me nervous because I'm like wait wait wait we're not touching on everything here you need to work on the mindset and the permission and the freedom before we get into the nuance of balanced nutrition you know really focusing on what's nutrient dense because it has has to be approached in the

SPEAKER_00 27:03

right way. Yeah. And I think so many of us don't know areas that we can improve in because we don't fall into typical eating disorder categories. And so we don't know we could use support. And I say, because I'm still learning how to form a healthy relationship with food and movement. And because I didn't fall into a specific eating disorder category, I did not know that there could be be more improvements made in how I approach food and how I thought about food and times I was restricting or times I was binging. But as we learn the language and we continue to inform ourselves on what is intuitive eating, what intuitive movement is, we can all build more sustainable relationships around these areas, which will also help us build a more sustainable relationship to ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

Totally. And like support the future generations, too. You know, like we don't want to be the almond moms of the future. No

SPEAKER_00 28:13

almond moms. We want moderate, balanced wellness girlies.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Yes. What did I I saw on TikTok or something like my mom's not an almond mom. She's a butter mom. I was like, oh, nice. But yeah, people don't learn these things. And it is unfortunate that, you know, nobody thinks they're sick enough. to get help nobody thinks they have a real problem or whatever lots of lots of error quotes around this because like i said in the very beginning the diagnosis doesn't matter i don't care if someone has a diagnosed ed or not if there is anything that is frustrating about your relationship with food even if there's not like check in we'll have a chat even people who you know just want general nutrition guidance who i've seen have said oh my god this is like just so helpful I never learned this it's so nice to just have a balanced realistic framework of how to eat it sounds so basic and I think people feel a bit of embarrassment of like oh my gosh I don't know how to eat but literally who teaches us nobody like I went and got a master's degree at this like it's not embarrassing and I think everyone can benefit from checking in with their relationship to food we learn

SPEAKER_00 29:34

the little triangle and essentially where fruits and veggies are at the bottom and then sugars are at the top five to seven and then one to three and then the grand scheme of things I like think about that pyramid I'm like the fuck does that mean like what does one fruit a day mean is that truly sustainable is that healthy like what is the adult version of the food pyramid

SPEAKER_01 30:03

right and like then, you know, we outgrow the food pyramid and we enter Instagram and TikTok and it's like, oh shit, what's happening?

SPEAKER_00 30:12

And

SPEAKER_01 30:13

then it goes to the other extreme where, oh, now the vegetables are bad. Now a banana has too much sugar. Now, you know, potatoes are the worst thing I can eat. Like, oh my goodness, I've heard the craziest thing. I've heard that somebody's out there saying carrots are too high in sugar. And I always tell people when we get to the point of demonizing fruits and vegetables like run as far away as you possibly can mute block delete like that is the biggest red flag fruits and vegetables are fruits and vegetables eat them enjoy them like do not stress about banana

SPEAKER_00 30:54

I love bananas.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Yeah. I mean, they're so good.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Michelle, this was the best. I learned so much this evening.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

I'm so thrilled. I had so much fun.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

How can people find you if they want to work with you, connect with you? Yes. So

SPEAKER_01 31:15

my website is michellepillipich.com. And you can find information there about my private practice. It is myself and I have another diet Kelly, who is amazing and works with me. We do have openings for new clients and we're in network with insurance. So we can check your insurance benefits for you. On Instagram, I'm Michelle Pilipich Nutrition, Michelle Pilipich on TikTok. And that's those are the ways to find

SPEAKER_00 31:42

me. And everything will be linked in the description. And as a closer, I am asking all of my guests this season, what is your commitment to yourself for 2025?

SPEAKER_01 31:55

My commitment to myself is more self-compassion. I know I need a good dose of that. I

SPEAKER_00 32:06

love it. Michelle, thank you so much for joining me today.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

We're healing out loud together.