No More Cookie-Cutter Care: The Therapy Conversation You Didn’t Know You Needed with Dr. Jennifer Kaufman Walker

In this episode of The Visibility Standard, I'm joined by Dr. Jennifer Kaufman Walker for a necessary conversation about making therapy truly inclusive, accessible, and rooted in authentic human connection—not outdated industry "shoulds."

We dive deep into what it actually takes to create mental health care that serves everyone, especially the clients who've been failed by traditional approaches.

We explore:
✨ Why sliding scale pricing and flexible payment models aren't just nice—they're necessary
🧠 Creating neurodivergent-affirming therapy that works for actual brains, not neurotypical assumptions
💬 Letting your values (not field expectations) guide your practice and client relationships
💡 Breaking free from the therapy industry mold to build something sustainable and authentic
🌍 Accessibility beyond just cost—making therapy emotionally, culturally, and neurologically inclusive
🔧 Practical steps to revolutionize your practice without losing your license or your mind

If you've ever felt like you don't fit the traditional therapy model—as a client OR practitioner—Dr. Walker's approach will shift how you think about what healing can look like.

Want to learn more? Link to her website: https://tnpsnova.com/

You can find her book, "What Is Family?"  here

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to All Our Parts. Welcome to All Our Parts. If you are new here, I am so excited to introduce my guest for today. She is so influential, both in my personal and professional life. She's an author, psychotherapist, and owner of True North Psychological Services, LLC, Dr. Jennifer Kaufman Walker. Thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you for having me. following on Instagram and nominated for top five best in Loudoun and people can vote now until April 29th. And so I wanted to give people the opportunity to get to meet the person behind the profile. Thank you. You had to convince me of this because it makes me feel awkward. Where'd you get the name from? True North? A couple of things. One, I was born in Canada and my family's Canadian. And so my mom had a clothing shop named True North. And I always loved the name. But then also helping people find their True North. My belief is that we all have the ability to heal ourselves. And sometimes we just need a little bit of guidance to heal. a compass to find where we need to go to get there. Yeah, I like that compass. Your parents are a huge inspiration for you from what I've learned about you. Yes, they are. They both struggled a lot, came to this country and built a business from scratch. And my dad's business was PMA, positive mental attitude. And they were a team and worked together. And through all of my challenges with having dyslexia, ADHD, struggling in school they never stopped supporting and believing in me so yes they have been instrumental in where I am today did you know you always wanted to be a therapist I knew I always wanted to help people. Initially, I wanted to be a special ed teacher. After high school, I was an assistant soccer coach for Special Olympics. But then when I went to college, I took my first psychology class and actually got a D in that class. And so I was determined that was my calling because I loved every second of it. So I kept going and did not get Ds anymore. But I love the challenge and I had so many interests, but I was able to narrow this one down because it was the one thing I wasn't able to do without a degree. Whereas my other like I could help people by volunteering Special Olympics. I could take care of my own animals and help them when they're sick. I could take photographs myself right without a degree. But this was something I couldn't do without one. Did that mean something to you? to be able to help people and obtain the degree to do that? Yes. I always wanted to help people, but I think the motivation behind going all the way to my PhD, and it was a very rocky road, was being told that I wasn't college material. And so it was my way of saying, watch me. And then when I defended my dissertation, I friended every one Oh, yeah. Good. a path forward to do it. I also resonate with the idea obtaining my bachelor's in psychology was not an easy feat. I knew I wanted to be a therapist, but for some reason, I didn't do so hot in undergrad. And I got a D in research methods, and I said... I owned it, and I took it again and got a B. So that was really empowering, but I think... A lot of people would stop there. You're right. And I had a professor say that Psych 101, we've got the people who don't really want it because who would want to continue and get a D, take another course that you can get an A. But I think what separates... And you share a lot of the same determination and grit that I feel I have, where when someone says you can't, you say, watch me. No matter how hard it is, you keep going until you get there. Even if you take unorthodox routes, like nine years in a PhD program, you get it done. And there's a sense of autonomy, but also being proud of yourself and feeling that sense of true light strength. I'm guessing you took nine years to get your PhD. Yeah, the average was like seven. I had some blips in the road and it took longer for me to complete my dissertation. COVID was one of those blips. Pregnancy was another blip. I kept going, but yeah, I had to request extensions. How did that feel for you? There was only one point in my entire journey through my PhD program where I remember calling my dad and he said, Jenny, you can move forward. You don't have to continue this. Because it was grueling. I had to fight tooth and nail watching people who made unethical decisions continue forward. But if someone's grade wasn't perfect, they got booted from a program that kind of thing. And he had never said that. I knew he'd always support me. And so would my mom, no matter what. But he never put that thought in my head. So the first time I ever remember thinking that, and I was like, no, I can't. Like, it's not in me. I cannot quit. I will always regret it. Even if I never used the degree, I knew I would. Like, it's that finish line. I put eight years in. What's one more year? So I kept going. And it felt really good. And that has carved the path for you in working with first responders, people who have experienced trauma. What led you to want to work with first responders? So during... Let me put it this way. Through my experience working in jails, working in the mental health, behavioral health hospitals, There was this influx of people who kept going through the system. And when I started this whole process of becoming a therapist, I was determined to have experience in every part of the system. So even if it was volunteering or it was internships or whatever it was, I wanted to experience all the pieces. And the one... thing I noticed through all of it were the first responders because they infiltrated every single part of it. Like they were there with the crisis calls. They were there in the courts. They were there helping the children. There wasn't a moment domestic violence shelter. They were helping the women and men and children come to the shelter. And I loved working with them. And granted, you and I are technically first responders, right? Technically speaking during COVID. COVID, we were considered first responders. But COVID was the turning point for me because I realized a few things. One, there were very few resources to receive mental health help support. Two, the stigma attached, especially within that community, less so now. And the high suicide rate, burnout rate, divorce rate. And So I was like, why don't I learn a little bit about this? And it's not just a job, right? Like talking about like policemen, EMTs, EMS, firemen. It's not a job. It's a life.

SPEAKER_01: 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 9:20

And so the run of the mill, like just counselor cannot just work. They can, but they can't be as effective with first responders if you don't understand the culture behind it. And so I did this in insanely long online course. And it was so fascinating. And since I'm already a trauma-focused therapist and grief and loss, it meshed well. And I'm only one of a handful of people in Virginia with the first responder certification. It's definitely needed. And then when I hear you, it also sounds like you wanted to provide a space for the people who were often showing up for everyone else. Yeah. The people who are waking up at 3 a.m., answering the phones, who are putting their lives on the line to save people, who are sometimes compromising their own mental health and well-being to really care for the communities that they serve. And you wanted to show up for them. Absolutely. If you think about it, We as therapists are ethically, even though it may not be stated, bound to provide our own self-care in order to show up for our clients in the most ethically compassionate, helpful way. So why is that not mandatory for other first responders? Why is that not promoted or encouraged? Yes, if you use your firearm at a call, you have mandatory psychological counseling. But how about all the other days, all the other really brutal things you witness and see? Why is that not enough to have that support? Yeah.

UNKNOWN: 11:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 11:21

So it sounds like you've seen the gambit in mental health. You've worked in many facilities, many different settings, worked with a variety of people. What called you to private practice? So I remember during my internship at GW, during my PhD program, they required us to do individual or basically counseling as part of the program in the clinic. And I remember speaking to my supervisor, Dr. Janet Miller. And I had this like attitude about me because I'd worked in crisis like my entire time. And I was like, I just don't want to deal with hangnail problems. And she looked at me and it was a very humbling moment. But she said, and I cannot verbatim remember what she said as much as how I felt. But she's basically, you have to do it. So let's see how you feel about it. after a few clients. And I'm like, whatever. And I remember my first client vividly. I think of her every so often. And the therapeutic relationship that I was able to build with her, the change I was able to see her go through and the It was career changing for me. I realized that I didn't have to be in the system to provide the same level of intervention or help or authenticity or support, I could be in private practice and do the same thing. But it had to be accessible. And as we both know, and probably all your listeners, finding mental health support that is financially feasible for the vast majority is almost impossible.

UNKNOWN: 13:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 13:21

So I had to come up with a way to make it accessible. And... provide that if I was going to be in private practice. And so many of your interviews, your publications, when you share about the value of offering quality care in the private practice setting, you also include financial accessibility. Like that is such a huge component for you in this work. Has that always been a value for you or is that something that has shifted for you over time throughout your experience? So when I decided to, I think it's always, it's been a value for me. I didn't necessarily know how that would work in a private practice setting, but the moment I decided to open a private practice, I said to myself, I have to make, like, this has to be part of it. So what I did was I did something that I had never heard of before. Yes, we know of sliding scale, but essentially if you call me for help, I respond in like immediately in 24 Obviously, they're case by case. There's situations that I can't, but... And then I... Tell them my spiel, listen to them. And then I say, these are my fees, but I offer a name your price sliding scale. A lot of times people are really uncomfortable with that. Talking about money, obviously. So I say that I tell them if you want to move forward, schedule the intake, et cetera. Text me. If that's more comfortable, email me and let me know. Look at your budget. Let me know what you're comfortable paying. And whatever that number is, I will honor it. And And they often are like, what kind of proof do you need? I don't ask for proof. Like, I trust that, you know, I'm sure I'll get burned every now and then. But for the most part, I trust that I'm not going to be taken advantage of. And then they will text me. And sometimes it's$5. Sometimes it's$20. Sometimes it's full price. And from there, I honor it. That's remarkable. But also, I remember when thinking about going into private practice and thinking about what accessibility would look like. And for me, I never wanted it. It's hard enough to look for a therapist in the first place and to discuss finances and feel like there is proof. That's not the way that I want to build a therapeutic relationship. And so it to find someone else who has that structure to be connected with somebody who has that same structure was like a true North moment, I would say. Yeah, I think it's important. And you're right. If you start the relationship off by saying these are our fees, if you can't afford them, that puts someone back who's in a desperate moment for help back to square one. Are we really providing them with what we're supposed to be? If you go with me or not, I'm going to ensure you have resources available. But two, if they do decide to move forward with you and you're like, I don't trust what you're saying. So I'll need proof of that. Good luck. You're absolutely right. It sets it all up for, honestly, failure. But you are not just a therapist because you are a multifaceted being. You wrote a children's book last year titled, What is Family? The Story of Bubs. Yes, I did. It was really fun. I wrote it because a baby deer was in my yard, visibly distressed, ears curled. Wasn't just like the typical deer left by its mom while it goes and gets food. There's a big difference. You never want to touch a deer that is not in distress. But if Their ears are cold. That means they're dehydrated. It followed me when I found it. My husband regrets every second of the decision to let me know that it was in our yard. And it followed me back. I bottle fed it. I tried to take it to a wildlife preserve place. They wouldn't take him or her. They said to put her back, let nature do it. I'm sorry. I could not for the life of me allow that little thing to just sit there and have fun. I just couldn't. I raised her. I bottle fed her. at her. I treated her when she was sick. I couldn't take her to a vet because it's not really legal to have a wild animal in your home. But I read all the books and eventually she moved on and went off with her own dear family. And it was an amazing experience every second of it. Like I just adored every second of that experience. And I realized when she went off, which I was happy about, I sat there a little freaking out because I'm like, where is she? Is she okay? Is she safe? I just wish she would let me know. Like she could talk to me. I called like animal psychics and I'm like, I need to know where she is. And they gave me maps of her location. And I have a brand new baby in the back of the seat. And my girlfriend and I are like driving down the roads at night with flashlights being like, Bob, sorry, Bob's like. So anyways, I realized like she felt like part of my family, like my dogs do or my horse or my whatever. And then during that time, I was working for Health Connections. Connect America, which is a great organization, and working with children who were in foster care or who had recently been adopted, I realized trying to explain what family was or is to these children, I could not find any resources that explained it at a very basic level or that explained it in a way that resonated with me. You don't have to be born to your mom, right? You don't have to be the same race. You don't have to be the same, like, ethnicity, religion, like, you can, hell, you don't even have to be, like, a child of, you can form your own family. And I put those two things together and worked on my book and found an amazing illustrator through Etsy, Alex Birchmare, and she is incredible. She's from England. And we worked together and... put it together and submitted it. Yeah. I want to preface for everybody that she does live on a farm. It wasn't like a condo in Arlington. Yeah. So all the animals that she named, she has ample space. Better than I treat myself.

UNKNOWN: 20:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 20:16

Did you know you always wanted to write a book? My grandmother actually authored some books, Elizabeth Churchill Kaufman in Canada, children's books. And I thought it'd be cool. I didn't really have a drive for it. I wasn't like, I'm going to be an author. But I saw a need and a story that I was passionate about. And so why not? Why not? Yeah. I feel like a lot of times in the therapy space especially as therapists and entrepreneurs, business owners, we get really shy around like visibility. And I imagine writing this book was such a different way to put yourself out there. And I believe this is your first podcast recording. And I understand you were a little nervous before coming on.

UNKNOWN: 21:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 21:21

I'm not, if you look at my Instagram, even though you push me constantly to try and record videos, I don't know what it is, but it's just uncomfortable. This isn't as bad as I thought it would be, by the way. So probably recording videos and posting them on Instagram wouldn't be as bad as I think it is either. But yeah, it was weird publishing a book and trying to promote it myself. Like it just, I was like, eh, this is awkward. The discomfort around it. Yeah. My first critic was my daughter. she told me she did not like my book. So, I figured it couldn't get worse than that. From the mouth of a four-year-old at the time. What scares you about being seen? I don't know. I don't know if it's... Obviously, it stems from some sort of fear, right? But my mom always said I don't have enough ego. And my argument was ego is... demise of people right but there is a happy medium and so i think i'd had to have some level of ego strength to be able to keep persevering like belief in myself at least and That's a really good question. I am outgoing, but I'm also an introverted heart. So something to explore further. I'm giving myself a high five on that one. Thank you. But it is so different. Therapy is centered around client and doing so much work that's centered around other people. Social media requires us to put ourselves in the limelight. a little bit and put ourselves out there and front and center. And that is scary. It's so uncomfortable, especially because it's also an unknown territory. You don't know who's going to find your video. You don't know what the comments are going to say. And it just... You're hoping and trusting that it lands with the audience that is meant to find it. But it's a game of chance, truly. Yeah. It's not the negative feedback that I think stops me or makes me pause. It's ensuring that the content I put out there is mindful, like that it's thoughtfully worded. I'm going to offend someone somewhere. I realize that you can't prevent that but i want the message i give out to represent me my values and how i would like to be perceived And sometimes when we are vulnerable and put ourself out there, it's received differently than we intend to have it received. And so that has been a challenge because your words can be very impactful. Like the teacher who said I wasn't college material, I'm sure they were joking. Oh, I never thought you'd go to college. But those words hit me and they stuck with me and they had the ability to destroy me at it. or push me forward. So I never want my words to have a negative impact. So I'm just very careful or mindful about what I put out there, I guess. You offer such a variety of topics on your page, trauma-informed, emotion regulation. You also do a lot of parenting content that I've seen. Is that a new niche interest? You are a parent, but is that something that has been resonating for you lately and wanting to share with the public I've worked a lot in the parenting realm because of working with children and so I've learned a lot I've done a ton of training just through the years the more extensive training on parenting but it's I think when I a couple things one with parenting it's hard right it's the whole process and they never really and they meaning so generalized they never prepare you for it. They don't prepare you for pregnancy. They don't prepare you for infertility. They don't prepare you for postpartum. Like, I feel like it's this, like, roses and sunshine thought process. And we all struggle. Like, there's not a parent that doesn't struggle. But again, we present as this, like, we feel the need to present, oh, we've got this child. Sleeps through the night and never has a tantrum and says I love you every day and all the things and... I think going through it myself was really a different level than even just working with children. Because God, every day it's a humbling experience. And so I feel like there's not a person that I know, whether they admit it or not, who hasn't struggled at some point. And so to just put content out there from time to time, I just want them to know I've got you. I'm right there with you. I'm struggling too. I even post pictures of my destroyed living room as some people Yay. It's messy. And it's a lot of pressure. And it's also suffocating sometimes. You can't escape it. And now you are nominated. You are top five best of Loudoun, best mental health practitioner in Loudoun County, Virginia. What an honor, a well-deserved honor. Like, what does that mean? How does that feel for you? Yeah. Humbling. Putting myself out there once again in a different way. Definitely an honor. Considering how large this county is, and I think it's one of the largest in Virginia, and the amount of mental health professionals who are truly exceptional that I have worked alongside or know of or know personally to be on that list and then to be narrowed down to the top five and make that seems a little surreal. Especially because it's not like you can pay for votes, right? Like it's legitimate votes. And it feels pretty cool, actually. Even if I didn't win top therapist, just to be on that top five is a pretty big honor. Where do you see the journey of True North? I love supervising. That's one of my favorite parts of this entire world. So continuing to supervise, I would love to eventually move to a bigger office with a waiting room. Probably a thousand Right now, I just finished EMDR training and I love it. I don't know. I'm sure there's something undiscovered that I'll add to the journey. But for now, it's being able to connect with my clients, be accessible to my clients, old school accessibility, meaning that when they're in crisis, they can text me and it's my same phone number as my husband has and my mom has and my kids don't know, but it was written in their book bags, that they have that ability to know that someone's in their corner. And even if we stopped working together five years ago, you can still text me and I will always get back to you and help. Even if I'm not that person, I will always help in any way I can. And so that, regardless of where it goes growth-wise, that's something that I want to ensure continues. Do you ever see yourself expanding into a group practice setting? No. Maybe I have people that work with me. They're on my website, but it's virtually based. So some of my practitioners live in different parts of Regina or other parts of wherever. But I don't, the thing that I do miss about a group practice setting is that consultation kind of interaction because in person, it's just me. Although I work with some amazing people who we just collaborate on clients and whatnot. But yeah, I would be open to it with the right people as long as I could continue with that accessibility and that communication that this allows me. Mind in the sky is the limit for you. I hope so. The link to vote for her, again, will be, everything will be linked in the show notes. Again, that voting will exist until April 29th. Thank you so much for this inspiring conversation. For new therapists, what is one piece of advice you would like to leave them? I'm Three things, I think. One, don't try to be the jack of all trades, right? Don't list 75 different things that you can work with. List the disorders or issues that you feel really competent in. You're going to get clients that have anxiety disorders, even if your specialty is trauma, right? And when you look at someone's, for example, psychology today, and there's 20 different disorders, etc. So just focus hard on the ones you're passionate about. Also, never rush to diagnose. Remember that diagnosis. sits with someone, informs how they feel and how they think about themselves. It informs so much of their life and their future. Quite frankly, I don't think we can ethically diagnose in the first three sessions that we work with someone. I realize insurance requires it, which is why I don't take it. And then the third one would be... get a supervisor that you connect with but also doesn't shame you, who believes in you, supports you, that makes supervision fun. It shouldn't be something you dread. And so if you don't mesh with a supervisor, find a new one. Oh, and one more thing. Make sure you get your hours signed as you go because I promise you, you will run into a supervisor that will refuse to sign them or just disappear off the face of the earth. And you've worked hard for those hours? One more piece of advice. Document every conversation. Upload every text exchange. Ethical decision making. Document it. It will protect you. It protects the client and continuum of care. All the things. So that's my Ashfield. The tracking hours one was personal because I came to her and I had none when I had been working for seven months. And she let me know that my power being out was not an option. No. Called paper and pencil. And I did have them. I had them. And now I'm actually in a much better spot. Yeah. How many hours did you find out you had once you sat down and did it? Yeah, almost 500. That's a huge amount of hours. And self-care. Yes. Organization makes you feel lighter. As a closing question for all of my guests this season, I am asking, what is your commitment to yourself for 2025? To continue to make it a priority to not rush through life, to hold on to the little things, the sunsets, the clovers, the laughter, my kids, the kind people I run up against, the perfect pen on paper. those little moments because those small things, and this sounds so cliche, but the small ones, the small moments, the little things that happen during your day. They actually are the most meaningful and are the biggest moments in your life. And when we do that, I find myself more present and more appreciative. I feel like that's my weekly lesson that you give me. It's sprinkled in there and I always appreciate it. I'm glad you appreciate it. Thank you for saying that. Thank you again for joining me today. Everything will be linked in the show notes. And I'm so honored to have been able to offer this space for you. Thank you for pushing me outside of my comfort zone, which you are very good at doing. And I appreciate you. Thank you all so much for tuning into this episode. Make sure you tap the bell to stay in the loop with new episodes dropping every Friday. If this episode spoke to you, I'd be so grateful if you left a review. It helps others find the show and reminds me why I keep showing up. And if you want to keep the conversation going, come hang with me on socials at Unilon Wellness LLC. We're healing out loud together.