creativity, empathy & therapy is cool club: a conversation with natalie blue

in this episode of all our parts, jazzmyn is joined by natalie blue — california-based couples therapist and founder of therapy is cool club — for a deep (and fun!) dive into creativity, healing, and building a brand with heart.

natalie shares her journey from event planner and advice-giving friend to licensed therapist and business owner, and how her brand was born out of a desire to make therapy more human, accessible, and—yes—cool.

we talk about:
 🎨 redefining creativity as a therapist + business owner
 🧠 the emotional labor of holding space for others
 🧸 how inner child work helps natalie stay grounded + inspired
 🧑‍💼 balancing client care with content creation and community-building

this convo is for the clinicians, the creatives, and anyone curious about what it really takes to build a practice that reflects your full self.

🎧 tune in and get inspired to make room for your own creativity, empathy, and evolution.

Transcript

  Hello everybody. Welcome back to all our parts. Welcome to all our Parts. If you are new here, I am so excited to have my guest today. She is a couples therapist in California. Owner founder of The Therapy is Cool Club Brand Merge. Natalie, thank you so much for joining me today. 

Oh my gosh, I'm stoked.

Thanks for having me. How are you doing this morning? Good. I'm just waking up. It's a little bit early here in California, but yeah, I'm good. I had a full week of good sessions and headed into my weekend, so yeah, I'm feeling good. Love that. 

So tell us about Therapy Is Cool Club. Where did the concept come from?

Okay, before I became a therapist, I was that friend to my friends who would rep their businesses and wear their merch and try and sell it. And I worked at a coffee shop through grad school and so I would wear like my friend's company's hats and all the customers would be like, oh my gosh, your hat is so cool.

And they would buy and support my friend's businesses until one day my friends are like. Okay, like when are you gonna make your own business? Like you are so good at being able to sell and like people are really like drawn to whatever you're wearing. And so you need to make your own brand.

And I was like, that's a great idea. I hadn't even thought of it. And then my best friend and I were just like brainstorming because I, my friend's club. Is called the pickleball surf club. And so and that's super fun out here in California. And then she was like, you need to do therapy is cool club.

And I was like, yeah, that's it. So that's how the name originated, but it's just like. Behind the brand is just me having this like side creative project to promote something that I'm obviously obsessed with and like a huge fan of which is therapy. And I think it just represents almost this like new.

I guess like stigma behind therapy that like going is actually really beneficial and it's not something for like people that are having like a severe mental illness, it's actually beneficial for anyone. And so I think, yeah, that just is. What I was thinking when I started it. And then obviously have a ton of fun with the design and just like staying creative while also being a therapist.

Absolutely. Side note, I'm definitely gonna need to check out the pickle Ball is cool. Merge. I think I need like a t-shirt or something because Oh yeah. I stay on the pickleball court. 

Yeah. Shout out to Pickleball Surf Club. 

But has creativity always been an important aspect of your life?

Yeah. Like I don't identify as a creative, like I have maybe we'll unpack that together, but. All my friends are creative, so like my best friend is a wedding photographer. I have a lot of friends in the wedding business that do like florals and things like that, and so I don't identify as a creative where they are like always constantly.

Instantly needing to create where my creativity comes in, I think is from my event planning past. So I was a corporate event planner previously, and love, like curating moments for people to connect. Which is so fitting that now I'm a couple's therapist. But, so yeah, I used to create like moments and events for people that felt like really special and like places where people could really like, get to know each other better.

And so I think. It has like under the radar always been important to me, but I don't identify as like a creative who's like always drawing and needing to create, if that makes sense. It's like a side thing that I really enjoy doing. 

How long were you an invent planner? 

After college I had my business degree and I worked for the Alzheimer's Association and helped plan their walk to end Alzheimer's events and any of their bigger fundraising events.

And then I did corporate event planning. I worked for Anthropology for six years and we would throw store events and things like that. Probably like 10 years. 

Wow. That requires like a level of vision, I think, to think about the person's brand, what story they're trying to tell, what they're trying to convey, what the ambiance that like.

I find, I think of myself as a big picture planner, but I imagine being an event planner, you've gotta be like a big picture planner, all as well as really focused on details. Yes, but I definitely wanna get into the creativity aspect, especially as both of us make content. I resonate so deeply with.

What you said about not considering yourself as a creative person 'cause you don't draw or you don't do like external things that people consider creative. 

Yeah, that's true. 

Yeah. When I was in elementary school, I hated art class 'cause I could never remember the difference between primary and secondary and that.

That was probably my early indicator of my perfectionist tendencies. And so I was like, forget art. I can't color inside the lines. I can't, like it was so much can't. And so I would never consider myself a creative person, but then when I found creativity that aligned with who I was, I just went full send.

Yep. It is once you find. What you feel passionate about and what aligns with who you are. Then it just opens up and it just comes so much more naturally. I totally relate to that. 

Yeah. I think even as you say, like redefining therapy, I think we're also redefining what it means to be creative.

I would agree. 

Yeah. And we're seeing therapy as a lifestyle moment, and I think we're seeing how creativity can be used to almost rebrand an entire field. 

Almost definitely like a whole industry. That was something that like. I like, I was so hesitant to, I know I've talked about it a lot on my Instagram that like my therapist told me that I needed to be a therapist.

Like I had no plans of becoming a therapist. But one of the things that I felt really hesitant about is it felt like. Like a really help, like very helpful industry with a ton of caring people, but it felt like so stale compared to something like the, all the girls and boys that like work in a.

Like the wedding industry or something like that feels like an industry where everyone has their own like identity and they get to be creative in what they wear and they just bring creativity to their job. And I felt like when I was thinking about becoming a therapist, I was like, man, like okay, I have to use like pastel pink on my website and all neutrals and felt like it was like almost everyone was doing the same thing and that was like what was allowed and accepted from therapists, like in that therapy world. And I was like, I don't know if I wanna do that. That feels limiting. 

So what ultimately nudged you to say, I'm gonna go and be a couple's therapist?

So it was my therapist. I didn't know that I wanted to be a couple's therapist at the time. Like when you're in school, you're just okay, I'm doing this. But so I saw my therapist, who I obviously adore. For six years and for three of those years, she was like, I think you need to be a therapist.

And I was like, thank you so much. No. I'm not, I'm a business girly. I'm good. I appreciate it. No, and then it just kept. Kept fitting. I was like, okay, tell me why. Tell me why you think that I should be a therapist. And one of the things I was really concerned about is like how empathetic I am.

And I was like, look, I cry at Amazon commercials, right? If there's a dog in the commercial, I'm crying. How am I gonna be a therapist for people Like that just doesn't seem like it's a good fit. And she like helped me understand like no. Like the most empathetic people make the best therapist. And that going to grad school, half of the schooling is learning how to sit in people's pain and not feel it yourself.

Not like fully feel it to the point where we're crying. And I was like, okay, all right, i'm listening. And then, yeah, ended up going back to school and. She was totally right. Like I'm definitely meant to be a therapist. I love it so much. 

I feel like that's a lot of people's fear of going into the field is my empathy is too much.

How do I not get wrapped into people's stories? How do I not carry this home with me? How did you learn how to harness your empathy? 

Definitely like in grad school, they teach you like a lot of like self-soothing techniques in terms of like I, I started off at hospice and so I did a lot of grief work.

And there absolutely moments where it was appropriate that I was shedding one tear, right? But there are other moments where it was not appropriate at all for me to resonate with what they were sharing and feel like the loss with them. I do a lot of pinching.

I can't know. I do a lot of pinching of that pressure point, like just in my lap so clients can't see. And anytime I'm experiencing like what we call counter transference, which is where my empathy would, really Spike, and then I would have my own emotion around it. So whenever I feel that coming, I either utilize my pressure point and then I remind myself, this isn't my story, this isn't my story, and then I turn on curiosity.

And so if it's not my story, then I need to figure out what it's like for them and keep redirecting and go back into curiosity. And that naturally takes away from my own empathy, becoming too much and then drives it back to the client and making sure that the focus always stays on them.

So that's one that I used a lot. Hospice and then with couples, like just making sure that I am holding space for both, right? Like I might resonate with one of the clients and they're sharing about loneliness and I'm like, Ugh. Yeah, same. But making sure that they both feel really understood by me.

So if I don't fully resonate with one of the clients, then I'm. Extra curious and trying to figure it out. 

Couples therapy tugs on a different part of the brain because in one-to-one you can fully align. You fully align with that person. You're like, hell yeah. Get after it. Like when, yeah.

Couples therapy, you almost have to take an observer's lens, like you've gotta zoom all the way out and say, okay, like an event planner, look at that. The story was just like written. The vision, the ability to pull back and say, okay, how can I best curate? Like how can I best support these two people in this situation?

Yep, exactly. And I get to use. Like both parts of my brain. Like I get to be really creative with like how I'm going to do that with the people that are sitting in front of me and like really I. Tailor it to each specific person, like how we'll get there, but then also using like logical brain and like seeing big picture and piecing everything together like an event planner would do, right?

You have all these different like parts and you're trying to orchestrate this like coming together and these like really special moments. And so it really does fit and it goes with like. How I like to use my brain in terms of my job, so I love it. 

Natalie, I'm starting to think that you are a creative person and I am curious, aside from the like very tangible idea of what we think of creativity, what holds you back from hold?

Like honoring that title for yourself? 

Yeah. What does hold me back? I like that question. I feel like, yeah, I think it's just what we have been talking about. Like I don't find myself like drawing, like I have friends that are like artists and are. Really creative in terms of like their output. And I guess we're rebranding creatives.

What does it mean to be a creative? And I totally agree that I think I am as well. I think that it's hard to take on that label and not feel like I need to be drawing or living in the forest or something like that. But I think you're totally right that it takes a level of creativity to do my job.

It takes a level of creativity to run the Instagram to run a merchandise brand, and okay. I'll own it. I'll own it. 

Yes. I love it. Everyone look at these hats. Therapy school club. I have two of them instantly drawn to, not, they're simplistic, but they're very stylish and they are in colors that like can go with any outfit.

That takes a level of creativity, but I hear you. Speaking to the pressure of the output that might have to come with owning that title of If I am a creative person, then people might expect me to be outputting like hand-drawn designs or like different color schemes when. Creativity is, it sounds like it's what's driven your career.

I think you're right. Yeah. I'm totally rethinking it all now and it's, I guess too, it's a little bit of comparison that comes up, like my, when I tell you my friends are so creative, i'm just like in awe of what they like dream up and create. But I'm in there too. I'm definitely in there.

Yeah. I think so many people listening can absolutely resonate with that comparison is if I'm calling myself a creative and I'm standing beside this person that can literally paint murals. That I'm a fraud. 

I'm like, I make Instagram reels, am I a creative?

Yeah. Totally 

humming from someone that also makes Instagram reels. That takes a level of commitment and just strategy. It's a different output though. Yeah. 

You're totally right. I totally own it. Now, 

if you are creative out there, who has struggled with owning it, because you are not a published author, you are not painting and selling your art like own it.

Creativity is something that's more intrinsic. It's not something that can always be defined. By output. And that is also its own journey that I've been on. I can't paint I don't color, I don't care for coloring books when people find that so soothing and so it was like, because these things don't fit me.

I am not a creative. But then as I allowed myself to, even building my business, I was like, this is so fun. Yeah. Like I get to create and build. Something different like an external vision that sometimes is only here 

yep. I think our job too, like in the moment, sitting with people absolutely.

Involves being creative, we're constantly thinking on our feet to make a, connection to deepen our understanding of who's in front of us our mind is going to all these different avenues that we can choose. And then we have to pick one and see if it works.

Go back like we're painting, in our mind. And trying to draw this picture of this person that we're getting to know. So I think even in session, it requires a level of creativity. 

Absolutely. When we think about a resistant client, even someone who's hesitant, may not be as open, like we're sitting there.

And we're probably like five moves ahead in our mind, but in order to really connect with the person, we've gotta slow it down, bring it back to basics, and you can't let the other person, it's like poker. You can't let the other person know what you're. Thinking and that skill, that's something that we learn and we practice over time and being able to multitask being present while also having these like clinical strategies in the back of our mind is, yeah, some deep Wow.

It's got me rethinking, like how we show up in therapy. Yeah. What would you say is the, like when you think about couples work and when you think about event planning, how is that, why is that the most fulfilling for you? 

I think I get to use my brain a lot. You do, and I'm not saying that you don't with individuals, but it's two people instead of one.

And so it's using it a little bit more in my opinion. And so I like the strategizing that happens. I was also a volleyball player and I was the setter. Me too. Let's go.

And so you have to draw the plays. You have to have the quick second okay, where are the blockers at? Who's getting the ball right now? So I love that type of strategizing that happens with couples similar, like we already said, with event planning. And then. Like the difference for me between my couple's work and my individual work is like the progress that I see.

So with individuals, I love hearing oh my gosh, i'm having this like new relationship form with this friendship based off of what we've talked about and what I've learned about myself. And I'm like, amazing. That's the best feeling in the world to hear about it. But in couples therapy, I'm literally watching it, like I'm watching their nervous systems like calm down and then turn towards each other and reach for each other, like emotionally, where before it didn't feel safe to do and I'm like.

Okay, so this person that once felt alone in the world now feels like they have this person that's available to them no matter what, and the impact that is going to have on their children and their children's children. And just I can, I almost cry every time, like when I'm in like stage three EFT work with my couples, I'm like, this is magic. Like creating that level of safety for people with one other person. That's literally the only, you only need one. And watching that in session. Yeah, I could talk about that for three hours. Yeah. 

What a gift to be able to facilitate that, right? 



Oh yeah, 

absolutely.

I just love it 

for a quick sidebar for people who understand volleyball and don't realize what we just fangirled over. The setter essentially gets the second ball. So after the bump, the person with the hands, as we would call it. Makes the play. So they decide what's next, what happens, and they're also always preparing for the ball to return.

And so we are thinking about how do we continue to get this ball to move? We're playing defense and offense at the same time to ultimately score. 

Yep. 

It's a lot of time strategizing, even in event planning and therapy, even in playing volleyball. What grounds you back to the present?

Like in the moment? Yeah. I think something that, especially because I do emotionally focused therapy with my couples, is I'm always coming back to the deeper emotion, and that's how I ground myself. Like it's so much safer for us as humans to stay in what I call like content world like you didn't feed the dog and it really hurt my feelings and this and that, and then you did this and I said this. And so I'm always like, okay, we're up in content world and I ground myself in, man. They felt like. They weren't important to their partner in that moment. And so I'm always doing this like deeper man what was the feeling or what was the like painful emotion that happened in this content world?

And so I think for me as a couple's therapist in the moment, I'm always grounded and brought back down by focusing on like the more painful emotions, which sounds like it would be like. Not grounding like it might feel like disruptive to people, but that's where I know the like most important information is.

And so I sit in it while they're in like, content world for the first like seven sessions really. Yeah. 

I love that you call it content world. 'cause you're so right. It's what is tangible. It's what they can pick out, what feels safe to pick out and honestly that. At least for me as well, that also feels really overwhelming because if we get wrapped up in the stories, we can get lost with okay, what is the deeper rooted conversation? And it's typically, I felt unheard. I felt unloved. I didn't feel seen. There's like those core things that come up. That. Live in content world, which is the various, multiple stories that happened in the day to day. What about outside of the therapy room?

What grounds you, what allows you to return to yourself? 

I feel like I have a lot of strategies for that. I play pickleball a ton now. That's my competitive outlet. And I love that we're meeting on a Friday, Fridays are the day that I have a separate work phone.

I turn that phone off and I put it into my work drawer and then I become. Human. Natalie no longer therapists, Natalie. Fridays are always my fun no rules, is how I see it. So Friday is really the day that I start to feel grounded and I can move into the weekend where I feel like myself not.

Carrying stress or weight from being a therapist. Today, for example. After this, I have a workout with my friend, then meeting another friend for coffee. I'm extremely extroverted so that brings me energy like 1000% extroverted. Then I have pickleball planned dinner with friends.

And a whole nighttime routine where I go to bed early and get some good rest. That's how I. Ground myself coming off of being a therapist, emotionally for me, I did a lot of inner child work in my own therapy experience so I do regular check-ins with my inner child.

And so I have been taught to almost wake up and say what do you wanna do today? And so me and my inner child, and I know that this will sound like a little bit crazy for someone who hasn't like experienced inner child work before, but I wake up and I ask that part of me that feels like young and needs attention and like really wants to feel like she's not alone in the world.

Then I ask her like, okay. What do you wanna do today? We can do whatever we want. I'm here with you. And so I let that guide my emotional world. And so if she is feeling like really scared or anxious nervous, then I'll do something that feels really calming. I'll go for a nice walk and we'll just like.

Self-soothe in those moments. Or if she's I want ice cream, I wanna spend time with you, then I'm like, okay, we're getting ice cream tonight. So emotionally that's how I am, like constantly taking care of myself. Yeah. 

Very nice. It, what I hear is reemerging or emerging and being really present with your external world, like being present.

With your own life is what recharges you. And I think as therapists sometimes we can get really bogged down from what we're hearing. What's going on in the world, even, and we just wanna curl up, watch tv, dim the lights, close the blinds, when what truly like energizes us is getting in touch with our own lives, with what feels good for us, what is good for us and being present in our own lives.

Yep. 100%. 

Natalie, this has been such a fun conversation, especially since I now learned we have so much in common, and I love that for us. How can people find you if they wanna work with you, if they wanna get to know you more? 

Yeah, it's pretty easy to find me. Instagram is, therapy is Cool Club.

If you wanna work with me as a couple's therapist, natalie blue therapy.com are the best ways and you can schedule a consultation call if you want, or you can just book a session right away. I try and make it really easy for people to access therapy. But yeah. And then if you want to buy merch therapy is cool club.com.

Lots cool hats folks. Definitely go check it out. So as my closing question for everyone this season, I'm asking, what is your commitment to yourself for 2025? 

Ooh. I like that. I think mine for 2025, like I did a whole vision board party this year with my girlfriend, so I have a clear vision for this one.

And that is to, I'm opening my own private practice this year. I'm getting fully licensed and like moving forward. And so I think for me, I'm just taking care of the fears that come along with that and like tending to myself like when the doubt creeps in or the imposter syndrome shows up. I'm very much like tending to those feelings

reminding myself constantly of my dreams, like I was a business girly, became therapists, and have always dreamt of owning my own business and opening something that feels different, that has all these different creative elements in it too. And so reminding myself of the dream.

That, like I'm absolutely capable of that tending to the fears, like when they show up, but just like moving full steam ahead and focusing on what I wanna achieve. 

I love that for you and I cannot wait to see how your journey continues to unfold. 

Thank you.

 Thank you all so much for tuning into this episode. Make sure you tap the bell to stay in the loop with new episodes dropping every Friday. If this episode spoke to you, I'd be so grateful if you left a review. It helps others find the show and reminds me why I keep showing up. And if you wanna keep the conversation going, come hang with me on socials at @healingwithjazzmyn.
We're healing out loud together.