A Substack Rising Star's Blueprint to Building Authentic Community with Monica Woodhams

In this episode of The Visibility Standard, I sit down with Monica Woodhams—writer of "Hot, Curious, and Cultured" on Substack and currently ranked #54 among rising stars—for an inspiring conversation about career pivots, authentic content creation, and intentional living.

Monica shares her non-linear journey from college blogger and YouTuber to influencer marketing professional at Neiman Marcus, before finding her true calling in long-form writing and building genuine community on Substack.

We explore:
✨ Navigating the transition from corporate stability to creative entrepreneurship
✨ Building authentic community through micro-connections and intentional relationship-building
✨ The real strategy behind growing a successful Substack and finding fulfillment in writing
✨ Monica's experiences with matchmaking and pursuing deeper, more authentic relationships
✨ Blending professional ambition with a slower, more thoughtful approach to success
💡 Practical tips for content creators wanting to build meaningful audiences, not just followers
📝 How to find your voice in long-form writing and newsletter creation

This episode is for aspiring Substack writers, corporate professionals considering a creative pivot, and anyone who wants to build authentic connections while growing their platform intentionally.

Transcript

Jazz: 0:00

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to All Our Parts. Welcome to All Our Parts if you are new here. I am so excited for my guest today. She is the author of Hot, Curious, and Cultured on Substack and ranking number 54 in the Rising Stars. Monica, thank you so much for joining me today.

Monica: 0:21

Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to chat.

Jazz: 0:25

Tell the audience a little bit about how you got started on Substack. From what I've learned about you, you started in influencer marketing, working as a shopper of some sort. So I would love to hear more about like your journey and the fashion lifestyle industry.

Monica: 0:43

Yeah, absolutely. So back in 2010 ish, I think I was a junior in college. I started a blog and I didn't tell anyone. I also started a YouTube channel actually. And it was just like something that meshed my love for early adopting technology and also fashion but I never saw that as a valid career because you couldn't monetize it it was just like a for fun thing so I set out to work on fashion I either wanted to work for an editorial magazine or work for a retailer I didn't want to move to New York I tried a summer there it was too much for me so I thought I love Texas it's always been a dream of mine to be a buyer at Neiman Marcus that feels like the height of luxury fashion department store and that's my dream and I remember even when I was like 12 I would say this and people would say think of something else because there's a line out the door for girls who want that job so just have other plans in place as your priority and then like maybe if it happens but don't count on it and that was always in the back of my mind a little bit. Should I even bother? But it just made sense. So I started my career as an assistant buyer. Neiman Marcus went through the executive development program. And my office was couture for e-commerce and for goodman.com. So I feel like I got this dream job. It's amazing. Can't believe I did it. But at the same time, influencer marketing or blogging is starting to become a thing. And I'm helping my friends post on their Instagrams. And I have this secret blog that I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about. And so there's a part of me that's just like that struggle of, okay, I'm seeing them get to do this fun thing. I'm still like in my little bubble of myself with it because I'm not ready to like totally put it out there. And there was a lot of just kind of tension with that in my career. Eventually I was like, I don't see myself in corporate for the rest of my life. And I had that realization at 24 when I saw my mentors who were 15, 20 years older than me, where the only facet of their life was corporate. And I quickly realized, oh, I thought I could be that person, but I can't. I have too many, like, I have a creative side of me. I just want to live. Yeah. So I ended up moving to LA, working for a startup to try to take my blog off the ground. And eventually, like in that next year, it was, I say blog, but at this point it's just Instagram, started podcasts, all this content creation stuff. Then I got burnt out and I got an opportunity to work for LTK and that just made perfect sense. And going through the LTK thing, they're very heavy on affiliate marketing, of course, that's their whole platform. And so I started to really feel like, okay, if I'm going to succeed at this on my own, I need to follow their model and what they recommend to a team. And it didn't really click because what I feel and now in hindsight, my purpose really comes out so much more in writing, which is where a hot, curious culture comes to play. I love fashion. I love fashion. coming up with new outfits, but I don't think that I'm just someone who is here to connect with people in another way. And it kept feeling like outfit posts is the way to do it. And I still do that for fun, but that Hot Curious culture on Substack has been that way for me to truly put out there the conversations that I have with friends. Sometimes they're conversations I have with strangers and just talk about perspective on life and that's something that I didn't expect to come out of Substack I the TikTok ban happened and I thought oh I guess I'll put something on Substack and I was like I'm gonna put the thing that I've wanted to talk about but haven't wanted to on social because it feels cringy and I don't know and that was my first post and that was what went viral

Jazz: 5:38

yeah it again like I said I total fan of your Substack. You talk a lot about fashion and lifestyle. And can I just say you have accomplished so much, like you accomplished so much in your 20s. But a really refreshing voice that really stands out when I read your Substack is you're also like processing this journey of returning to yourself, settling roots down in DC, matchmaking, like really exploring what an intentional lifestyle for your looks like outside of the corporate world.

Monica: 6:14

Absolutely. And I just got chills with you saying that because I think the way you said coming back to me, that resonates the most. And I feel like that has been what my past year and a half has been. And At the end of the day, I feel like I'm so proud of the things that I accomplished. I can't imagine a world where I didn't do those things and I needed to do those things to get here, but... the second that I decided that I wasn't going to be chasing goals anymore was when so much opportunity has seemed to come up and I don't mean opportunities like other job proposals things like that I just mean like I'm able to take a step back and just have like small talk with someone at the dog park without thinking of okay how do I explain to them what my job is because Because for whatever reason, it's just like chatting about whatever with no outcome. Even if you never see that person again and being okay with that, it's like that's where you learn so much more about someone and you connect with people and you learn more about yourself. Because like I said, even if you literally never see that person again, that connection is still something interesting probably still happened there and I think that when you stop just constantly like chasing to be better chasing to do more that's when you really do start to be more present and it sounds so cliche right that's what everyone's always telling us to just slow down but I think sometimes you just have to get there yourself rather than someone telling you slow down

Jazz: 8:17

And you're so right about the space for opportunity because the opportunity isn't just a work opportunity, a brand engagement, affiliate marketing, the things that we chase that our society has now deemed. These are like the milestone moments, but opportunity to live differently, to hear a new perspective, to experience something that we might've missed when we were chasing the goal, the next thing. and especially like young adults like people within our age bracket there is this there's this drive that we have that we are so grateful that we have and we are in this process of simultaneously finding spaces and opportunities to slow down to blend our drive and ambition with a more thoughtful way of living and and when I read and even as I hear you talking right now, you are learning like what it looks like to blend all of these passions in a creative, thoughtful way. What has that shift been like for you? Uncomfortable.

Monica: 9:31

And it's still uncomfortable. I still have moments where I'm sitting on the couch at 8pm. And I'm like, should I be doing 20,000 other things other than just sitting on my couch at 8pm? And just Last night I was really tired and I texted my best friend and I was like, is it okay for me to be this tired? Just, it's just like, you can be tired. You're allowed to be tired. And just giving ourselves permission with that. And I think too, learning I don't have to prove myself to anyone anymore. It has been, it's lightened my load technically. I feel like you said about our age bracket, like we have this ambition and we just, we know what we're capable of, but at the same time, I think at least for me, I've also felt like I have to prove myself at the same time. Once I get to that thing, I know I'm capable. I know I can do it. I get there. Now I have to prove to everyone why I should stay here.

Speaker 01: 10:41

And

Monica: 10:42

that is so exhausting. And it's not just career. It's relationship too. Like I, The amount of times that I was like two months into dating someone and was just in like proof mode, proof why we should make this work, proof why we should become boyfriend and girlfriend. When really, if we just fully trust ourselves as close to we can, some days we fully trust ourselves and our spidey senses and all the things. But if we're there, all of a sudden we don't have to prove to anything because we know that whatever it is for us or it isn't for us.

Jazz: 11:27

it what you're saying is just resonating so deeply because I am also like tired this week and I'm like Jasmine like what have you done to be so tired you should be like reaching for the stars aiming for the moon you can reach it what are you doing and sometimes our bodies are like no like you get to rest and that sometimes there's that forced rest too of getting sick not feeling well but ultimately like we don't really need a reason Yeah, I know I can reach that goal. Not only am I going to reach it, but I'm going to prove to you that I deserve to stay here and I deserve to even surpass it. That level of proving and doing, eventually, it becomes unfulfilling because we realize we're always going to be able to do it. going to be chasing the next thing if we never find what truly makes us content, what truly fulfills us. And then shifting to creating content and Substack sounds like it's allowed you to find a thoughtful, more aligned way of presenting fashion and lifestyle and your own insights to the public.

Monica: 12:53

Yeah, I'm a long-winded talker, writer, all the things putting things into 15 second reels has never been something that I'm good at so I'll get on TikTok to try to film a video that should be 30 seconds to just get my point across and it's three minutes and I'm like okay this is going nowhere like I'm always the friend where there's side conversations happening while I'm still telling my story and then by the time they're done they circle back and I'm now finishing that story so Substack has been really a good way for me to actually collect my thoughts, put them out there, how I want them to be seen. I think also a lot of the things I talk about have nuance and that nuance is impossible on the internet because, or it is the internet, but in short form is on a TikTok, on an Instagram post, you can say three lines. There's no other context to those three lines and everyone going to interpret it the way that they are perceiving it for their own experience where I think on Substack in traditional blogging when we're able to tell a story in completion the audience is able to really understand and even if they can't relate there's still a sense of understanding or at least curiosity versus just that like fast scrolling oh that is so wrong yes that's so right it goes both ways and I just think substack has been really powerful in that way and I think that's this past year with so many writers finding it as an outlet has been amazing because every platform out there is going to resonate with people differently. And I think so many people were trying to fit into that Instagram TikTok box when it's okay that it doesn't come naturally to everyone. Like it, it's so funny. I'll be at dinner and I should fill my food. And then my friends will be like your content creator. But I like say with podcasting, like some people are great at having conversations and can lead the conversation like you're doing. And I Other people, they're better just doing like a 15-minute snippet and can be really funny and witty and get the point across.

Speaker 01: 15:29

And

Monica: 15:29

we all communicate so differently. And for the audiences the same way, we all soak in information so differently. So some people really do need those 15-second clips. Other people need to sit down and feel like they're really absorbing it. And I'm just so grateful that the timing all aligned with me being able to find myself again and an outlet that people started gravitating towards. Those are two things that couldn't have been planned.

Jazz: 16:08

When I decided to grow beyond the therapy room, I knew I needed systems that could keep up. Enter JaneApp, the practice management platform that has my back. From online booking to charting to payments, Jane keeps everything streamlined so I can show up for my clients and create content, build my brand and run my business with confidence. If you're ready to level up your practice, head to Jane.app and use code JAZZ1MO for a one month grace period. Yeah, and what you're speaking to, I feel like opens up a larger conversation of what if we allowed ourselves to lean into our strengths? Like, I feel like TikTok has become the pinnacle of content creation, and we try to fit ourselves into that 30 second, 60 second box of being witty, snappy, short form, when what if we accepted that we do prefer long form, and we allowed ourselves to shine and and thrive in different spaces like Substack or podcasting or even LinkedIn's getting its own retribution right now. And so I dabble over there from time to time, but... allowing the spaces to be like what they are and recognizing like you can add value anywhere when you allow yourself to shine and show your strengths and that's not to say that going somewhere you're comfortable won't challenge you I saw your post about posting the cringy thing or posting the fun thing and realizing that's the thing that gets the most engagement and it's okay it's the reminder that I'm going to have to really stretch myself get out of my comfort zone not only from a growth perspective but recognizing there's so much potential when we don't overthink the content

Monica: 18:05

yeah absolutely and to your point like in theory content creation I've been doing this for over a decade especially the blogging writing part so that is quote-unquote comfort zone but the topics that I'm talking about that is where I'm still growing so you don't have to like change your make drastic changes in life just to get out of that comfort zone. And I think that's one of the things that when my friends are talking to me about feeling like they're outgrowing their stage of life, they feel like you have to do this grand thing to make a shift. And I really believe that you can stay in the same job, stay in the same city, stay in the things that are the typical blow your life up and move across the country things and still step into that next version of you yeah and I think that's something that is important to remember especially in this stage of life like in our early 20s we have more energy to pack up boxes every year I remember even just like my leases and my apartments it would be raised by like a couple hundred dollars and I'd be like guess I'm moving. Now I'm like, you're going to have to really raise the prices to get me out. But you can make significant growth moments happen even when the bigger things stay the same. And it means getting curious, ultimately. Getting curious of, okay, where do I find these shifts in my life? that aren't like... that I don't know how to find. The only way you can do it is by asking people questions, connecting with people, reading new topics that you never thought you'd go down. And just like as simple as last summer, I was like, oh, I want to find a signature scent. And I started to go down all these TikTok rabbit holes of finding niche perfumes. And I was like, okay, I could just choose one of these perfumes or I could understand why I'm gravitating towards certain perfumes.

Speaker 01: 20:33

And then

Monica: 20:33

I went down this whole rabbit hole of the science behind perfumes. Science is my worst subject in school. I think I couldn't tell you anything about science, but I sat there reading this book about chemistry and perfumes. And now if it comes up in conversation, something about perfumes, I have these like random fun facts, but again, Like those are just these little things about connecting and feeling like you're learning different things about the world that you never thought you would that then create the opportunities of, oh, wow, like I'm stepping into this new version of myself who knows so much about perfume and niche fragrance. Like how interesting.

Jazz: 21:19

What's a minor shift that you've made that seems to have rippled into like larger growth moments in your own life?

Monica: 21:26

Yeah, I would say one of the big ones has been making eye contact and smiling on dog walks, taking that a little further, like on those dog walks, I stop and get coffee and I bring the dogs in and really asking the baristas their names because we see each other every day. And one of the things I realized was on these dog walks, I kept running into the same people, same dogs, six months would go by. the dog's name and now it's like that awkward territory of can't really ask the human's name because now and I realize you know what when I go on a walk and let's say our two dogs are like sniffing each other I'm gonna smile I'm not gonna just smile at the dog I used to do that I used to smile at the dog not even look at the human in the eyes and ask the dog's name and then ask the human's name right away and whenever I do that people are so calm Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Life just feels so much brighter and it feels like you really are in community in your neighborhood. And especially during COVID that felt so lost. And I feel like even though four years ago now, three years ago.

Jazz: 22:59

Yeah. Five, I think.

Monica: 23:01

Oh my God. I still feel like we're still trying to get back there. It's hard to gauge because of age. Before the pandemic, it was like I was going to happy hours all the time. that hadn't happened I still wouldn't be going to happy hours after work now I don't know just having that third place really is gone and I feel like that little dog walk habit fills that void that I never realized was missing for myself but then doing this I do realize it and you don't have to have dogs to do it if I'm just running errands I still do the same thing I think it makes the day to day just a little more vibrant

Jazz: 23:44

yeah it It's a micro connection. Like even if you never see the person again, you don't get their number. You don't make plans outside of that 20 second engagement. It's like an opportunity to connect with the person. And I'm totally with you. I'll walk my dog and we stand there and we look at our dogs, have a moment, talk, do whatever. And we like don't even recognize like there's another person standing across from you that could also be connecting. And yeah, it's such a it can be so missed and I think a lot of times we can find ourselves so in our head on dog walks what are we going to do today what do we have to have planned but it also is taking a moment to be present like taking moment to be present in that moment and again space for opportunity to catch something that you might you would have maybe missed if you were moving and moving and so I love that and do you want to add ask how's the matchmaking going oh

Monica: 24:47

my gosh okay so I went on a matchmaking date through talkify a few weeks ago two weeks ago and that was a fascinating experience they found my sub stack that I wrote about hinge and how tiktok says you have to hack the hinge algorithm and I was like this sounds wild like I don't want to have to hack my dating app to be successful but so reached out they offered me a date through that so I went through their whole matchmaking experience where you talk to the matchmaker for an hour and a half and she really gets to know you and what I thought was really interesting is that she didn't just want your checklist she wanted to understand deeply why each thing was on there because she was like if I know the why then I can find someone more compatible because if you just look at checklists and resumes, it just goes back to, okay, on paper, everyone looks good, but they're not actually compatible. So I appreciated that point of view because it also allowed me to just tell her things about what I'm looking for in a partner and that I've thought was me being picky in the past. And she was like, no, that's not being picky at all. I can find that in a second. And that feels really good because sometimes I think friends, they do start to think oh you're still single you are you sure you're not being picky and what the matchmaker and I really got clear on were the things that I was deeming picky were actual lifestyle compatibility things so for example I'm half Spanish so it's super important for me to go to Spain every year and I want my kids to experience that and I want them to speak Spanish at home that's Overwhelming for some men, apparently, I have learned. Which you would think everyone would want their kids to be bilingual, but not the case. So that's been fascinating. And then I put myself in a free database for a DC matchmaking company and I have a date through them on Saturday. So we'll see. But it's really interesting to see the difference between a company like Talkify that massive across the country and more like a mom and pop experience where it's just it's the matchmakers her own company so it'll be interesting to see the difference but at this point I'm like just gonna be open I was really nervous about saying I was getting set up by a matchmaker because I didn't want it to come off as I'm so desperate that now I need a matchmaker but it's more oh no I'm just literally opening myself up to whatever way I could possibly meet

Jazz: 27:46

someone if anything it honestly feels in line with the very thoughtful and intentional way that you are living and so hinge algorithm it's no one's got time for that no one wants to be constantly hacking an algorithm but working with someone to find the ideal aligned partner sounds so on brand and so I love it I'm wishing you all the best And I look forward to hopefully reading about it if you choose to share it. Monica, I've loved this conversation so much. Where can people find you if they are interested in connecting or learning more about you?

Monica: 28:27

Yes. So my Substack is Hot Curious Cultured. The link is, I think it's just monicawoodhams.substack.com. And then on Instagram, monicawoodhams TikTok over shares by Monica.

Jazz: 28:41

Everything will be linked in the show notes. Then as a final closing question for all of my guests, I ask, what is your commitment to yourself for 2025? To

Monica: 28:54

be the living in the front row of my life. I saw, I saw that quote somewhere two weeks ago and I was like, that's it. That's what I'm doing this year.

Jazz: 29:08

Yeah. Living in the front row. I love it. I can't wait. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Monica: 29:14

Thank you so much.