Dating on High Alert
Dating on High Alert dives into the messy reality of relationships and life, neurodivergence, trauma, masking, and survival mode - because when your nervous system has spent years trying to keep you safe, connection gets complicated.
Hosted by Ilja Abbattista - trauma-informed coach, survivor advocate, and AuDHD truth-teller - this podcast explores ADHD, autism, CPTSD, attachment, emotional overwhelm, nervous system responses, and what it actually means to build safety in love and life after survival.
For neurodivergent people, trauma survivors, partners, and couples trying to understand each other more deeply.
Because this isn’t just about dating.
It’s about learning to hear yourself again, in life and in love.
New episodes weekly.
Until next spiral.
Dating on High Alert
I Was Ready… And Then Everything Stopped
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Why does one plan hijack your whole day?
Why can’t you start anything else?
Why does a cancellation send you straight into freeze?
In this episode, I break down the AuDHD nervous-system pattern of anticipation, mobilisation, and shutdown, through my own lived experience. We talk about:
• why your body prepares hours before your mind
• why waiting feels like pressure or pain
• why time becomes distorted
• why you can’t “just pivot”
• and why freeze is a physiological response, not a flaw
This one goes deep into sensitivity, grief, emotional wiring, and the way our bodies remember old safety patterns.
If it hits home, you can reach out through Dear Ilja or download the free AuDHD Survival Guide in the show notes.
Until next spiral. 💛
Free Guide
You’re Not Too Much. You Were Just Never Met Fully.
A short guide for anyone who has ever felt too sensitive, too intense, or too much in relationships.
Download it here:
https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/youre-not-too-much-free-guide/
🎧 Subscribe, share, and spiral with me.
Dating on High Alert explores relationships, life, neurodivergence, trauma, masking, nervous systems, and what it actually means to build safety in love after survival.
For neurodivergent people, trauma survivors, partners, and couples trying to understand each other more deeply.
🖤 Explore support, coaching, and resources:
https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/resources
📩 Join the podcast mailing list:
https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/truth-led-podcast-sign-up/
🎙️ Submit a guest pitch or podcast topic:
https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/podcast-dating-on-high-alert/#submitastory
🎧 Support the podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463815/supporters/new
📱 Instagram:
@iljaabbattista
📬 Contact:
letsconnect@iljaabbattista.co.uk
Until next spiral,
Ilja x