In the final part of the masking trilogy, Ilja goes somewhere she has never gone publicly before.This episode isn’t theory, it’s truth.The difference between the self-criticism you can hear… and the kind that lives in sil...

If you’ve ever been told you’re too sensitive, too alert, or overreacting… this episode is going to land.In Part Two of the masking series, Ilja Abbattista goes deeper into what’s actually powering the mask, hyp...

💬 Need support with this right now? If this episode brought something up for you, you don’t have to sit with it alone.Dear Ilja is real-time voice note support, for when you’re spiralling, overthinking, or just need s...

What if being “too sensitive” isn’t a flaw… but a nervous system that learned to pay attention?In this episode, Ilja explores what it means to feel everything deeply, the overwhelm, the misunderstanding, and the strength that can come fr...

Why does something small feel so devastating?A delayed reply. That shift in tone.  A cancelled plan.And suddenly your whole body reacts.In this episode of Dating on High Alert, I’m talking about r...

There was a relationship in my life that felt electric.Not chaotic. Not obviously toxic. But ambiguous.And that ambiguity felt like chemistry.In this episode of Dating on High Alert, I’m unpacking...

In this episode, I’m talking about impulsive spending, but not in the way it’s usually framed.This isn’t about budgeting tips or learning to “just say no.”It’s about the nervous system.The hyper-focus. The urgency....

Why do some of us only seem able to start when the pressure is unbearable?In this episode, I’m talking honestly about last-minute living, not as a productivity problem, but as a nervous system response.If you’re ADHD, autis...

In this episode of Dating on High Alert, Ilja explores masking through a trauma-informed lens, especially for people with ADHD, autism, and complex trauma.Rather than treating masking as something to “fix” or remove, this conver...

Shutdown doesn’t look dramatic. It looks quiet.It looks like going flat. Pulling back. Not having the energy to explain. Losing your appetite. Staying in bed because your body won’t move, even...

For a lot of neurodivergent people, especially those living with ADHD, autism and trauma, ambiguity doesn’t land as “nothing is happening yet.” It lands in the body. As activation. As tension. As a quiet fear that something might change… and yo...

For many of us with trauma and neurodivergence, telling the difference between intuition and hyper-vigilance isn’t simple. The body reacts before the mind can make sense of what’s happening, and what looks like “overthinking” ...

This episode marks a quiet but important moment in Dating on High Alert.After sixteen episodes exploring dating, attachment, intensity, and patterns, I’m naming the lens that’s always been there, trauma.In this episode, I...

There’s a stage of dating that doesn’t get talked about enough.You’re not single.  You’re not secure.    And you don’t quite know where you stand.For many of us, especially neurodivergent, trauma-aware women...

Why does one plan hijack your whole day?Why can’t you start anything else?Why does a cancellation send you straight into freeze?In this episode, I break down the AuDHD nervous-system pattern of anticipation, mobilisation, a...

This episode isn’t about a person.It’s about the feeling your nervous system learned to depend on, and how that same pattern shows up at the beginning of relationships, at the end of relationships, and in the way we hyper-focus ...

This is the episode women whisper about but never get to hear.Today, we’re talking openly about impulsive behaviour in neurodivergent women, the fast yeses, the risky sex, the quiet “no” we can’t say, the adrenaline-soaked moments, the t...

If you live with ADHD, autism, trauma, or the full neurospicy trio, peace isn’t always peaceful at first. Sometimes it feels suspicious or it feels empty. Sometimes it may even feel like something must be wrong, because nothing <...

Ever catch yourself replaying a text, analysing a look, or scanning for shifts in someone’s tone, and suddenly, you’re spiralling? This one’s for you.In this episode, we dive deep into why so many of us with ADHD, autism, and tr...

There’s a moment after chaos when everything goes quiet, and you realise you’re different. The rush, the spark, the drama that used to feel like connection doesn’t hit the same. You start to wonder if calm can really be love.In ...

When you’ve only ever known love that burns, calm can feel like danger.But safety - real, grounded, slow safety - is where desire begins to grow again.There was a time I thought I knew what intimacy felt like - the pull, the craving,...

You know that kind of relationship that feels like a rollercoaster? The butterflies, the intensity, the late-night spirals, we call it “chemistry,” but what if it’s actually chaos?In this episode, Ilja Abbattista unpacks why we keep fall...

Sex is supposed to feel good, safe, connected, playful… right? But what happens when ADHD and trauma are in the room too?In this episode, I get raw and real about how distraction, impulsivity, hyper-focus, and body memories shape our exp...

Ever fallen in love in a week? Named your future kids on date three? Felt like you were spiraling before they even texted back? Same. This episode dives into why those of us with ADHD and trauma tend to fall fast, and fall hard.We explor...

In this episode of Dating on High Alert, host Ilja Abbattista dives deep into a topic that’s essential for anyone navigating love, trauma, and the journey back to themselves: Boundaries.Boundaries aren’t just about saying...